Rabbi Raphael Klatzko - Part 4: Wisdom of Jewish Parenting - Understanding your child

[Music] hi this is Rafael Classica with the Jewish parenting talk and today we're continuing to talk about getting to know your child getting to know your child also means paying attention to details when a child tells you something listening is very important but listening with a real ear for detail makes all the difference when he comes back and he says Yankee you know and me went out to play the next day if you mention Zach you say oh the boy you went to play with that means I really am invested in hearing about what you have to say I really care all right and if he says no thank you by the dinner table every single day two eggs don't say honey you want eggs for dinner right because he doesn't like eggs and if you keep asking that it just shows like you don't know me and you hear there's so many types of things my parents they don't know me right and the truth is they don't often because they didn't take the time the first thing no when they love their child they're working day and night for them but they don't invest what they have to say so besides hearing in general hear the details make note of them just because they're not important to you they're important to him the next thing and this is what we're talking about things that are important to them treat like they're important which means if a child comes and tells you you know they broke my leg oh right so to you it's well like oh can they rebuilt that's what the whole idea of Lego is no Lego being broken to him and the way he's saying it it's devastating to him to him Lego is a real world he just invested in his mind again he's only been alive for two years so spending two hours is really a good percentage point all right and he invested it into building the Lego and they broke his leg oh it's terrible so sympathize with him right give him proper empathy like tell him how much you wish the Lego wouldn't have been broken and you care about the Lego get into these things because these things serve our greater goal the greater goal is again like we said making him a person that is well-adjusted and complete and a hole and what you're gonna do now can serve him for his whole life so it's not about Lego it's about building my child [Music] as we said knowing what's important to your child includes knowing what he likes and what he doesn't like both things are equally as important now we're gonna talk about a little different area of getting to know your child getting to know how your child responds to your different moves this is a tricky area for many people and let's first just give a little overview of it we as parents are obligated again what we said to try to help our children grow all right and we have to do this in a variety of ways we have to control them and we have to teach them and give them examples and sometimes even punishments all sorts of different things but we want to get to know our child what works for him and what doesn't and this also we don't we're not born knowing this but if we're alive awake and in tune with what happens when we do one of these actions with our children then we'll know what the child responds to what the child doesn't respond to if every time you do this action the response is negative or the response is not really effective well then that's the wrong action to do and our next talk will talk more about this various ideas of how to help teach your child or discipline your child thank you this has been Rebecca let's go with the Jewish education talk [Music]