Rabbi Benzion Klatzko: Can Jews Missionize to the Gentile?

I'm not Rabbi wallering I'm shorter perhaps younger uh my name is benon clat I've spoken here before and uh I am honored to be asked to speak here again and um sorry clco clco I'm sorry M just add one and David y been fer Peril d think about son of mosha fagin okay so for those of you that have heard me speak in the past um I try very hard to figure out what should what's going on what's going on sort of a very basic broad question we are living in a day and age that that we have to ask those kind of questions cuz on one hand yish kite is growing we have shum we have Arava I was in Queens I speak at the Lighthouse um there's Torah there's more Torah in America right now than there ever was in Europe people aren't aware of that uh much more people are learning Torah that are more yeshivas than there ever were in Europe after a thousand years of Europe and there are more people learning Torah in erel than there ever were in Europe so on one hand we are living in a day and age where Torah has flourished it's blossomed and we feel inspired and on the other hand we're all very aware that there is a crowd of people that are heading the other direction we can call them kids at risk we can call the people who are whatever they're called it's a tragedy so we're living in What If This Were the stock market it would be very volatile times nothing is predictable and as a parent of 11 children I will tell you that it's a scary scary thing when I raise uh my children together with my wife and it used to be it was a do push it was a simple thing we'll raise our children and our children will be good so will bring them up in a wonderful home and they'll be inspired and they'll see shabas and they'll see theas of learning and daving and that's how they're going to turn out and today every parent is shaking in their boots we could do everything that's right and yet the a the environment out there leads us to be worried and concerned and we look for the slightest Simmon the slightest indication uh oh my kid wants to do this or he's getting into that and maybe this is the beginning and we're really we're we're never before that I know of in yish guide have we sat on pins and needles like this and there's a third component and the third component is the component of kiru and that is a component that I'm very involved in one of my jobs is I'm one of the uh National directors of of the college movement to North America and I travel each week to a different college and there's a there is a uh environment there's an there's a atmosphere of U people being so you've got Torah being learned Dai on the phone online you've got salash that comes to your text message I'm sure half of you have that you've got your day you've got art scroll on every topic Under the Sun and on the other hand you've got people sitting on pins and needles hoping that they and their children will stay from very volatile times and we could throw into that mix the sh crisis which it is although people are in denial but but there's no question that it is there is a there is a there is something going on as well and we need to know how are we going to fix that and therefore when I speak to crowds such as this I think one of the things that we need to do is we have to think big we have to think Broad and figure out what's going on and not think small and Petty so let let's take what we know and let's trace it backwards people are coming back to yite people are being inspired and that is what we know as the cir of movement but I will be the first to tell you that that movement as inspiring as it is and I'm sure you've all seen the project inspired videos on Tish and you feel inspired and you hear about a story of a guy in a grocery store who came to a a Shabbat meal and you're all inspired but you know the reality is that compared to how many people have already left we're really we're really barely uh we're barely making a dent that's that's the hard truth to hear and couple that with the fact that people are getting depressed whether it is sh that's getting people depressed and when it gets people depressed uh depression is the very first thing that leads towards KAS shom uh people um leaving the D or or whether it's Dar means the way the way of the way of Torah the way of Judaism or or whether it's uh our own children that we're afraid of so where are we falling short so I'd like to tell you where I think we're falling short kiru inspiring people bringing people back to Judaism is an outcome of something else and it's not end unto itself it's a mistake that's being made in the cir of movement the mistake is that we focus on kiru and we should not have to focus on kiru kiru is an outpouring of kiru should happen naturally if we doad if we care about the next person if we love the next person if we're concerned then that concern will manifest itself in kiru but it cannot only manifest itself in kiru and I think this is a great flaw that must be addressed we are doing kiru and we're not tracing it back to I I I'm almost ashamed to say that I've have spoken to marar who it's not that they don't want to work with kids at risk or they don't I could understand that you may not want to mix that crowd people who are perhaps uh going down with people who have never been exposed and who are going up and are inspired I understand that we I deal with that myself but where's the heart where's the concern and if you're going to be marar people what happens then what about parosa what if they left college and now they didn't go back and now they they need looking after what about before they were from sort of they felt they were able to marry everyone and now they're perhaps a little bit older the demographic is much much smaller and we have a tremendous amount of balet CHA or even or even of more greater concern B Chua who are getting older and older and uh who's looking after to them so minus doesn't work is what spawns kiru is the foundation of kiru so step number one is we have to begin to concentrate a little more on the that brings towards C instead of the Cure of itself now what I'm going to say right now is not controversial it's not I've spoken to very big people about this we are pretty good at we are pretty good at if you look at the gim that are out there you will have a baby cloth G you'll have a wedding dress G you'll have plenty of G that if a person needs to Bor money these are organizations that go and do there's even a baby form I know someone who has an umbrella you name it it exists we have a whole Yellow Pages of they they it exists such a thing so if we are so good at why isn't it translating into the kind of C that it should be translating into that's the question we have to ask it's a brutal question it's a difficult question why isn't our creating that c and the answer is we have to take one step further back have to go back one more step you see we are good at and you know the famous story of the fellow the non-jew who kept the yamaka in his glove compartment because if he would ever get uh a flat tire or if his car would overheat he just plop yamon his head and knows within 2 minutes people are going to stop and help him change his tire we're good at you know a lady has a baby there's no question about it she'll have uh she'll have uh meals for the next few weeks delivered to her home right we we we are good at but I'll tell you something that we need working on and this is going to be the topic of this evening we are good at but we are not good at the sh of and the sh of is friendliness we are not a friendly people we are not as friendly as we could be well I I I I know you you feel you feel like that I I don't want to clap about it because I want to do something about it okay let's do something about it and and this is a really tough question how is it that we're good at but we are not good at friendliness oh okay we're we're going to get to it we're going to break it down first of all I want you to trace back in your minds all your years in school perhaps you were in a bakov or you went to a seminary and ask yourself how many stories did you hear about friendliness growing up not friendliness we probably all know the same three stories there's about three stories done this at the table we all know the bu ofba would say hello to the person it's a very famous story Yakov ketki to the nuns and then another person by the by the toll booth he would say hello and then what do you even know the Hebrew word for being friendly it's a very funny thing is that the word smile it's a smile it's difficult we don't speak about friendliness having run a uh having run kiru shabbaton for many years this is the number one battle uh this is the number one complaint that I get from people who are not from who are thinking of becoming from the number one complaint is is they'll pass by they'll say hello to people they won't answer back they'll ignore you they don't smile and we're not speaking about one sect of Judaism versus the other it's it's it's epidemic across the board it's an epidemic right we're not as friendly as we could be now one they say this I there are there are different there are different answers why we're like that is it because we're in New York but it's not just New York is it because we're nervous yeah you want to you want to explain why say like doesn't it depend what environment you growing like I grew up for some years out of state and where I grew up it was very friendly but when I came to New York it was a lot different okay so there's no question that New York adds an extra an extra layer of unfriendliness although some people don't say that some people think New Yorkers yeah I find that actually New Yorkers are really friendly to me okay okay yeah y I try to be friendly so please so please don't other newor especially inatt there you go it could be some New Yorkers are friendly but I I I don't want to give excuses here there are you want to say a few more things what do you want to say it's risky to be friendly it's very risky because I say hello on my block to everyone that passes by and some some of the looks you get are just you know unbelievable it's it's true it's true and you could be hurt you could be very hurt yeah I could be wrong I think um especially in the more from you you are like people are very it's like into like you're saying the more from you are the less friendly you are you all agree with that wow not even cross gender I see we've struck a cord wow [Music] yeah you ask yourself well well what is this person you know you know that's day she's been through all that adversity because we have all been to some one person one to come back we have to give them V of Doubt okay so what you are saying what you are saying right now we're going to touch on because it's a very important Point okay but we but we all agree right now that there's an issue and it it's really tough to disagree with this it doesn't mean that there are no friendly from sh that's not what I mean but our job is not to be like everyone else shouldn't we be known as The Friendly people yes as shouldn't shouldn't this be expected shouldn't it what happened to that instead our reputation is the opposite and we must do something about it so let me explain to you the difference between and friendliness it's very important to understand the difference friendliness is looking at the next person as an equal you'll look at the next person you look at them and you say I could see myself in them said is not like that said I am on top I am the one who is giving you Saka I am the one who is preparing a meal for you because you had a baby you are the one who needs me to do B in the hospital and I'm okay with that but the very the very moment that it's not about me the very moment that it's about about you and I have to look at you like an equal that's where it breaks down now there could be a legitimate justification for that and thank you very much there we go there could be a legitimate justification for that thank you other that's okay but and but there there is a happy medium let me tell you there's a interesting Hala the Hala is that when you lend a non-jew money and the time has come for him to repay you cannot extend the loan you're not allowed to extend the loan there's also you're not supposed to show Extra favoritism to a non-jew the and the explain why and they say the following cryptic reason they say that once I extend the loan I will have Rus I will be merciful and after I am merciful I will end up becoming friendly and then my daughters will end up marrying his daughters and I may end up worshiping aara now that seems like a stretch my friends if I extend alone I'm going to end up worshiping aara how do we understand that the answer is as follows the nature of Rus the nature of Mercy is as follows when I have mercy on you if I do it right I have to look at the world through your eyes that's how it works and if I look at the World Through The Eyes of an aara of a of a bavara if I look at the World Through The Eyes of somebody who worships saara inevitably it will taint me and it will on some small level make me see where they're coming from their point of view and once I begin to see the world through their eyes and their point of view then it's a slippery slope says the Torah don't try to look at the World Through The Eyes of abala daara and having Mercy is what causes you to do that in other words if somebody says to you hey let's look let's just try to see it through their eyes the Torah says no there are sometimes that we don't we we don't participate in that exercise sometimes we don't it's unhealthy to look at the world through the other person's eyes and I'll give you an example just in case the the point does not hit home What if I I told you there is a very extreme example you know what Hitler did was wrong no question killed millions of people but let's engage in an exercise let's try to see it through his eyes let's try to see how he looked let's just try let's just try to step in his shoes and see how he looked at the world are you okay with that no right would you would you for one moment try to step in Hitler shoes and to look at the world through Hitler's eyes no because it will Sul you it will taint you it will dirty you and you won't recover from it and therefore one of the reasons I think that we're not friendly is because by being friendly we have to make the other person our equal and by making the other person our equal we have a danger we're in danger of relating to them and maybe looking at the world through their eyes so if I walk down the street and I see a non-jewish person and he's got his tattoos on his arm that are are real schut and they're disgusting and I say hello good morning sir and he good morning so we've created a parody we've created an equality and and what happened to the am what happened to what happened to us what happened by the way I'm not justifying this I'm just I'm just I'm just trying to figure out where we're coming from but I don't agree with it I'll tell you why go ahead like exle like uh I feel like sometimes like very friendly like I have my moments when I feel friendly and I just like life to be out like out there and like be nice to people and say hello and everything and like if if it's let's say a non-jew and and there's a there's like you want to make like a partnership between the non-jews you know we don't we don't want to be like uh like like saying that we're not we're not uh good with them we're we're not um you know we want we want to also be nice to them as well you know because we can't show that we're we're chosen doesn't mean that what do you mean we're chosen we're we're chosen but we're we also have to show that we're we're friendly people we're a friendly Nation exactly you see there is a line and it's not even a fine line it's not even a fine line there is a line that exists between going to a bar and getting drunk with somebody whose values are not our own and being friendly and being friendly I think we we've we're so nervous about that line that we've become insular and we're no no longer able to be that light unto the Nations so let me first say that let me first say that if you look in the Torah it is quite clear that the almighty wants us to love everyone it's very clear now there is a special love that we have towards a yid but the kazum are numerous let's let's take a few of them the MIT were drowning the sing says they're might they're The Works they're my Works they're mine they're my children as well you know when we speak when the Torah speaks about CL is it says is what is means a first born that means there is a second born and then there is a third born we are the B But ultimately wants us to teach the nations of the world how can we teach the nations of the world anything when we look down on everyone impossible if we look down on the rest of the world and therefore we're unfriendly and they know that we're unfriendly and we separate separate separate to the point that they despise us and we despise them how can we teach the world anything you can't [Music] nve and y y was very upset but he said so hasem says you have to learn they're also I made them they're also mine so makes and it gives shade to Y and then eventually Hashem kills the Kon and Y is very upset so Hashem says why are you upset that I killed the Kon and you're not upset that I want to wipe out you're not upset you want me to wipe out a nation full of men women children and animals so number one we must understand and we must teach our children and it is the way that I was brought up I thank my parents for that to love to be friendly it's to everyone being friendly to everyone then breeds being a to your own people in particular and that BRS kir to those who need and that those are the steps that we take friendly to everyone to our our nation in particular and then kiru to those who need and if we're missing any of those three steps we will not be if you have a person who is a but is not friendly then it could be an exercise and ego it's me on top here I go me to the rescue but it's the friendliness and the warmth that we have towards everyone that allows us to feel and to help out and to be b a b in particular to our nation yeah all right as a mother or any parent and as a teacher we teach first by example so what example do we set for our kids as Jews we're not allowed to hate another Jew it's not allowed don't use the word hate so we can we can substitute it therefore we should be friendly to our Jewish Family CU all Jews are one family you know they tested the blood of Jews and Mexico and they found not only are many of them Jews that they don't know the Jewish but the K right that's where the blood is from right all right so we know from from just from the blood I'm saying we're Jews are Jews and one family so you're saying that if we I think to say to a let's say to a young audience and to women who are supposed to be be friendly to to any man whether it's you know G or Jewish and to young girls who certainly have to be very careful who they're friends with M I'm sorry but I wouldn't want you to tell that to my morning okay so tell to my sons certainly cuz God forbid if they became friendly with a boyish boy and stayed with them and then like their sister then the the children from a boy certainly are going if he marries a boy they're going okay so even to girls we have to be careful we have to protect them we can't say to them do care of be friendly to everyone I don't agree with you across the board I don't agree with you good so let me tell you there is a more sophisticated way of looking at it okay and if you look at it this way then you're able to accomplish both when we teach children we teach children in absolutes because children don't understand nuance and because of that I I have no complaint at whatsoever on a parent that teaches Jewish people represent this if there's someone who is not Jewish or doesn't have Jewish values that's not okay we teach children in absolutes the question is did we ever outgrow that do we ever grow up or are we still living in a world of absolutes one of the things I've spoken about in the past was the idea of religion and relationship remember we spoke about that we said Judaism is not a religion but it's a relationship why is it that people still look at Judaism like a religion because when kids are young we teach them absolutes so an absolute is religion religion is do and don't that's religion dos and don'ts when we get older so then it's no longer about dos and don'ts then it becomes more about a relationship with the almighty one second and when we have that relationship so then I'm not doing things because I'm worried about uh punishment or I'm striving for a reward but because I want to develop a relationship but when we're young it's very hard to teach a child relationships so we teach a child religion we just have to transition just like our own children when I first teach my child to do something I don't tell him to do it because of his great love for me because a little kid is very selfish so I teach him do and don't don't run on the street do say thank you do say please but as a child gets older he begins to learn to listen because of relationship so too when it comes to our attitude towards the rest of the world when we're young we need to teach absolutes it's important to teach absolutes but it is just as important if we are going to play the role if we are going to serve the almighty Shak to to call out to the world that a is one and he has a grand plan for the world if we are the we cannot possibly do it if we remain children and just absolutely looking at the rest of the world like they zevel like they're garbage it won't work it can't work not the either so we must outgo that what did you want to say oh you'll have to go to Torah anytime and uh and uh see the table I'll speak to you about it afterwards okay um it's a big not to be nice other people like you can teach your kids whatever you want to teach them but being nice to people is just a normal thing that's what you do it's a terrific it is ter when I see that I I wonder I wonder if out of the thousands of hours of sh man anytime if this is the only speech that's going to speak about this uh I I just wonder uh yeah yeah yeah okay one more and then then we'll um I was my mother always teaches me even now that if you you want to be treated a certain way you should treat other people respectively and nicely friendly so that they will be friendly back if you don't then they're going to like treat you like garbage and whatever especially do or whoever what's your name sidel dor sidel just transitioned us to the meet and potatoes of what we're talking about tonight thank you so why is it that we cannot transition from friendliness toed and the answer is as follows we are missing the gasoline in our tank and the gasoline that is in that tank that has spoken about again and again and again and again it is what makes the engine of Judaism go is empathy Judaism is all about empathy and that's what I want to speak about tonight even though we're more than halfway through but we need it to build it up until we got to this point what does empathy mean empath empathy is not sympathy sympathy means I feel bad for you I'm sympathetic to your cause empathy is different empathy means I feel with you I am part of your pain says right what you love do to your friend what you don't love don't do why does the Torah have to phrase it like that just say love your friend no it's not good enough to say love your friend you have to learn to be empathetic we have to learn to feel the next person's pain as if it were our pain we cannot be friendly we cannot look at the next person like a human being Jew or non-jew we cannot look at them like that unless we are able to train ourselves to look at their wrinkles on their face to look at those Crystal Blue Eyes of theirs and see what they're going through to look at their clothing perhaps to see a patch or two to understand what is missing to be sensitive until we are there we cannot fulfill our mission in the world it is all about empathy my friends let's look at the Torah and see where that's mentioned again and again first off you should love the stranger why because you were strangers remember to be empathetic remember how it feels the entire exercise of the Seder is an exercise and empathy eat bitter herbs feel the pain dip in salt water feel the pain dip in wine for the sake of the exactly thank you thank you the Egyptians pain exactly not Jewish right dip take away a little bit of your wine feel their pain look at the Mitzvah and you will see not only people but animals if you have an animal and the animal is plowing for you the is you cannot put a muzzle on it how dare you do that the animal should plow for you and go right in front of of of food and not be able to eat it because you put a muzzle you can't put a muzzle on it on its mouth feel the pain of every living thing mosu was able to be mosu because he felt the pain que of the sheep and he picked up the Sheep interestingly enough many of our great leaders in the time of Tanakh were shepherds not only because they had spare time to learn which is part of it but also because they learn to feel pain there's called AR mikl if you if somebody kills someone else bog by accident what happens to them they have to run off to this City of Refuge and they have to wait there until the coin God dies which could be next week or it could be in 40 years why what a strange what is it a punishment I don't get it are you saving him from the go hadam for the from the relatives or are you punishing him what are you doing you know what we're doing this fellow May own a house maybe he just finished his mortgage maybe he just got a promotion guess what promotion get guess what house goodbye you have to run all the way to the AR mcub that can be very far away and you can't leave and goodbye to that house and goodbye to that promotion goodbye to that job you know why because you just killed somebody and maybe you don't feel bad enough because it was big and maybe you say it wasn't my fault so I don't feel bad says the Torah well begin to feel bad you ruined someone's life you should have been more careful so now your life is going to be thrown upside down you didn't feel enough empathy you weren't careful enough now you're going to feel empathy look in the Torah we could stand here and speak all night about Mitzvah after Mitzvah after Mitzvah the gasoline in the tank of Judaism is empathy that's right we have to feel the next person's pain and I want to tell you in today's day and age it is never been harder to feel the next person's pain and I'll tell you why because we are bombarded by images by news by by text messages from all sorts of sources that tell us tragedy and we hear tragedy and we hear it again and again and after a while all we can muster is a little groan we're imploded we're too imploded and we become numb exactly exactly we no longer feel empathy because it's too much how many people do you remember what you did a few weeks ago when you heard of a very wonderful man a big Bal Stucker who went into an airplane do you know this story he went into an airplane with four of his grandchildren who were visiting him from Merit trial it was his own little was a little plane he was taking his grandchildren from mared s on a wonderful trip and the plane crashed and he was nifed and three of his grandchildren were nifed and the fourth grandchild has burned all over his body we say tell him for him did you hear about this what did you do after you heard were you able to continue with the rest of the plans of your day what happens do you know right before Tish there was a man in Los Angeles a bentorah who walks into a store to collect rent there a young man he had a few properties and the fellow in the store for whatever reason just had enough and he took a gun and chopped his father of five children and then shot himself right before Tish I just spoke to yesterday ioke spoke to his best friend he said you can't believe it just here and then gone what happens and then we have these Jewish news sources and you can get them you can get them online and you read them and v n and yis Yesa world news at one tragedy after the next after the next and soon we we can't take it anymore so we just we'd rather not listen we'd rather not hear and when that happens to us our ability to have empathy disappears and when our ability to have empathy disappears then our ability to be friendly disappears our becomes less about real our ability to reach out and feel for the yid that never experience the shabas and K that disappears and as a nation we just become cold and numb what do we do yeah please don't don't feel in this country because America is here the philosophy of of the country [Music] is don't they but for exct suppos to be and add exactly exactly exactly you know in in America you have certain rights you have rights do you know Judaism doesn't have any rights those we don't have any rights we have we have responsibilities and the sum total may be the same in other words rights and responsibilties could be the same but my right is that you shouldn't walk in my law on my lawn and I shouldn't walk on your lawn responsibilities means I have a responsibility not to ruin your lawn it comes some toal is the same but where we're coming from is very different let me do this there's a lot of points to be made and um we we'll take the questions but keep it very brief because we're we're almost out of time and there's a few more very important things to mention go ahead you you and you okay live love just need be that's all it doesn't mean that are you no no you good just means to Beering it doesn't mean not to not how it turns out that's not how living and I'm jewi and I also believe at the same time that you yeah Liv and love live is a little ambiguous that's the truth yeah yeah it's just like not not moving into anybody's space like like they do things that way and I do things that you know not judging them for it right but but it but it could result in listen I take care of mine you take care of yours it it could but it's also it's yeah okay go ahead okay let's go back to our history Bas what did we learn from Moshe now Moshe spoke to God you don't have anyone today that speaks to Hash directly and get the answer Moshe said to Hashem we're in the time of Egypt they're using the blood of Jews especially the infants the boys to build the pyramids of Egypt J says let me save save these children you know God you have the power bring these children back to life from that were used their blood their bones and the in the pyramids as mortar Hashem said no but mosha pleased have empathy have empathy these are Jewish children and their only crime was Jew to be Jewish and they were used to build up and Hashem said okay it's not going to be for the good but I will let you save one Jewish child who knows what happened because of that empathy that mosha had for one Jewish child not a boy one do you remember what happened who was this one je child what happened that was sympathy misplaced sympathy I don't but what happened but he had he saved one child and that is the child right we're not we're not saying every empathy is not every empathy is is okay we don't have empathy on a Nazi for example but food in the wait I want that's one we threw it in the fire and there we have the golden C motion we do have to we have to we do have to move on Germany we'll bring it back to Germany you know the Holocaust Germany was the originating place of reformed Jud because the Jews were so assimilant they were so friendly with the Germans they didn't believe that their friends would Dan them and throw them into the fires and create them so 6 million Jews were burned by their friends the Germans they for friendliness um okay um what what were you going to say um I going to say that we now we live in a generation where when we do it's always about the agenda you know what about me you know why am I getting out of this you know Etc etc etc you know like all the cism and animosity you know I mean just give people time of day and you everything excellent thank you you know we're okay no no more questions please till the end so we can we can finish up so Le let's go back I I think we need a little little refresher over here step number one is friendliness now when we when I first spoke about this at home a um a few months ago when it really crystallized in my mind I spoke to very big people about it with the foundation was going to make it their cause perhaps they still will I made bumper stickers and if you come to my house for shabas and you're all welcome to come um I uh I have a bumper sticker I can give you and the bumper sticker says on it from equals friendly from equals friendly if you've seen it and on the bottom it says on it friendliness creates Kash hasem and it's something that I think thank you um and and I think it's something that we can and should start promoting the idea of being friendly um there's no reason that when somebody who is grow who grew up not from sees a from person that we should not be known as absolutely the friendliest people around that's that should be our reputation I don't know if I want I don't know if I can keep their Commandments but there's one thing I know about them they are warm they are friendly they are open they don't say that about us and we could we could and we can do it without crossing the line I believe we can and I believe we must the idea of empathy and not being empathetic is something that needs working on and my my uh little homework for you if you choose to accept is when you open the Kish this week next week and you begin to look at the different stories and the Mitzvah in the Torah I want you to look at the empathy that the Torah is trying to stret in each and every and it begins with it begins with if you love yourself look at him look at her like they were you and if you don't like what what what uh if you don't like something happening to you then don't do it to the next person and the next time you see a hatala ambulance going down the street don't just keep on driving and say you know what this is okay this is fine you know stop and say begin to train yourselves to feel it's training you it really is training could you imagine a president of the United States who doesn't have empathy yeah I'll leave that question unanswered you really really I I I'll tell you something you could say whatever you wanted about Bush but I believe listening to him speak I believed he act it really bothered him I believe it did but you like that but you know maybe people looked at him like he was simple and stupid but I believe it bothered him you need to have a leader who is empathetic I remember and and this this was this was easy because any of you would have felt it I remember I was at I was at the where the and the mo minus RA are buried and thereby s k there's a big sign and the sign has a on it and the is a long for and I looked at the sign and there were about six seven girls clearly a little bit older and they were swaying and they had the sitter you know covering their faces and who knows how many of them were crying as they stood in front of uh Mama sar's Kev saying please Hashem new shine please I'm ready how can one see that and and not be so motivated to go home and take out your your notebook or take out your phone book and start making sh we need to begin to feel and and if we've lost our ability to feel can't be friendly we can't do real and and and it's because of that that we don't have a wave of of cure going on and I want to finish with a story an amazing story there was a rabbi he was a rabbi in Minnesota wonderful fellow happy joyous jolly and friendly to everyone and Not only was he friendly to everyone but he had a reputation not just among the Jews where they held him in very high esteem but even among the uh the non-jews of the city he would help out he would give advice he actually joined different Civic boards he was a close friend with Walter mandale who was a uh I think he was a Senator in Minnesota that time and people people sort of looked at this Rabbi like well you know Rabbi with a beard and he's friendly with all these people but they respected him and he got on the radio and he ended up creating an ask the rabbi show and he was an ambassador of Good Will to all of the people in Minnesota one day actually we'll we'll we'll make the story a little bit shorter event eventually he left someone had told him that in Israel there was a great need for a hospital in natana there were bombs at that time and uh the's hospital was very far away and people were arriving in the hospital Dead on Arrival there were women who were in labor they couldn't get to the hospital on time and there was a need and he eventually went to natana he left his uh rabet in Minnesota and he built a wonderful hospital called Lan hospital he had three children and the children were Ben Torah but the children were not very wealthy and particular two of the children that were very involved in in learning and they were KES they didn't have money this father of theirs had a small collection of antiques that he got from his grandfather and among those antiques was a manura and it was decided that the children they need money they want to stay in AES they have to Mar off kids they should sell perhaps sell the manura so they took this manura to SES now in manur and SES you're talking 5,000 10,000 15,000 they brought the manura to SES and in SES the curator went crazy he's said wow an amazing manur this is this is not just a plain manur it's Italians 200 years old and it's got all of this uh all of the all this ornation it's very ornate and the curator was a fellow named Kevin turny Kevin tney and Kevin tyrany says you know what I want to sell this at auction we're going to do really well selling this I think you may be able to get $200,000 for this manura so the family was bowled over wow $200,000 this manur that that that could really help of course divided between three children and then grandchildren who knows you know it's not doesn't end up being that much but it certainly is a help and a manura is very nice but sometimes you need to feed a family the day before the auction Kevin tiany calls up the family and says listen the economy is really bad I don't think you're going to get that for your manura you put a reserve on the manura I would go a lot lower I wouldn't make it more than 150 and you'd be lucky to get that so the family you know is disappointed what can you do you try your best 150,000 is a lot of money but again divide that three ways is 50 and then some of the children were married comes out a few thousand a kid it's it's not that much but well the day of the auction came the greatest collectors in the world were there and this Yeshiva family was sitting there feeling really out of place among all these wealthy people their manur was Lot number 43 and there were a number of manura beforehand and a number of other judaic pieces and one piece after the next was not meeting its Reserve what that means is if it doesn't mean its Reserve it's not sold and very often the biders they don't know what the reserve is so if the reserve let's say on something is 10,000 and it only bids up to 8,500 it's not sold so the family is sitting in the back there and their hopes are are really sinking there are manur over there that the estimated value because it gives you an estimated value in the catalog the estimated value was 20,000 and the bidding was stopping at 13 12 10 8,000 and they're thinking oh no Kevin tyy really overshot this manura the estimated much much higher than every other manura finally it was Lot number 43 and this family is sitting in the back at Kevin tyranny he gets up to the podium and says okay now bidding on Lot number 43 silver manora antique 1700s from Italy do I hear 990,000 he' started 90,000 and the family sitting there like 990,000 there was not a manura that day that went for 20,000 do I hear 90,000 do I hear 90,000 going once anyone 90,000 going twice and then he's about to flip about to flip the page and go on I oh okay the man over there he lifts up the little panle with his number okay we hear 990,000 okay do I hear 100,000 100,000 right over there 100 th 110 110 do we hear do we hear 120 going once 110 and the fam is thinking oh no you know they made the Reserve at 150 maybe they should have made the reserve lower at least get something do I hear 110 110 130 14 150 and the family sitting there the manura reached $150,000 the family was ecstatic even though you know they had hoped it was going to hit 200 as the day before it was estimated 200 but whatever they 100 50,000 is a lot of money 160,000 180 200,000 and now the family is sitting in the back and they're all shaking it hit 200,000 Kevin tney said it would not and it did 220 240 250 270 now the family they feel like their their heart is in their mouth $270 $290 I'm sorry 200,000 I'm sorry yes $290,000 300,000 320 340 350 and this family in the back and they're holding it they're gripping each other's hands really tight from 150 to 350 it didn't stop 360 370 380 390 400,000 420 4 30 440 didn't can we finish the story please the bidding ended at 450 with the commission totaling $540,000 the family was going nuts s bees they were just enjoying the whole scene of this family in the back all shaking and giddy the manur went for triple the estimated value the family comes running over to Kevin Tierney and says to the Kevin Tierney please tell me who who is the winner was it someone in the room who was it who was it they said we'll find out we'll find out and it was clear in s SES made a very nice commission themselves so it was clear everyone was very joyous who was it a few minutes later it came down they found out who it was it was the museum in the town where this person was the rabbi in Minnesota they had heard of this Rabbi who was friendly to one and all they had heard of this Rabbi who was the great Civic servant who was an ambassador of Goodwill between Jew and Gentile and they said we need this for our Museum he's one of us he represents and that's how my grandfather father's manura got sold last year and I was there that was my grandfather and I was there in SES during the auction and I want to tell you the the the moments that took by there were many flows cuz it happened on Kaneka the manura S it was the highest selling manura in saab's history that was amazing yes it was I agree but more than it just being the highest selling manura it was a lesson for all of us we have to start from the beginning we all want to run and do kiru we see a project inspired video we want to go over and give chalun to our neighbors but it doesn't start with that it ends with that that is an outpouring of wanting to do and is an outpouring of looking at the next person like they're a real human being they're not just another notch on the belt and it means that after you arm a car of them and after you do facilitate their their their entrance once again into Judaism you don't let go but you hold on and you befriend them and you help them with their sh and you help them with their parosa and you help integrate them in the community and you show that it's not about K and it's not just about it's about empathy I love you I care for you I understand you I will work to understand you and in that way each one of us here can will change the world before you all run up I always give an advertisement for my website I have a I I know it's coming it's called cab.com or shabbat.com shabbat.com you could go to it it is I think one of those sites that is changing the world it's very s BB uh the site challenges every Jew it's shabbat.com SB a t it is anyone in the world who needs a place for shabas makes a guest profile anyone in the world who need who wants to have guests makes a host profile you could you can you you can get guests or you could be a guest and um and in the first uh few months 7,000 people have signed up 500 people a week are now finding places for shavas