Shabbat Candles - Part 4 - Rabbi Reuven Lauffer

[Music] okay here we go let's have a look at the interesting i'll offer over here which is something which may come as a bit of a surprise but the locker is that a person should not act in a disrespectful way in front of the shabbos candles and 11 of these sort of like you know the one of the descriptions what perhaps disrespectful would be is that children shouldn't run around you know naked in front of the Shabbos candles is considered to be disrespectful actually calculated in in there in modern and contemporary alotta quirks they talk about not not changing young kids not changing their diapers in in front of the Shabbos candles because again it's considered be something which is a lack a lack of respect that lock is also applicable to have dollar as well abdelhak ends but because our dollar candles normally alike for a much shorter amount of time so it's not so much it's not so much of a problem but you know and it's something which is it's somebody to keep an eye on especially when you've it's a shame you have your own family and you've got the shadows candles and the kids are running around doing all kinds of ridiculous things as kids tend to do it's just you know something to keep in mind when I currently doing it no no see there'll be role models role models who you know social services bookless what do you do that if a if a lady is blind that one of its length right so if you can't see what happens that with regards to lighting the candles so Misha Brewer says that it would be better that her husband make the bracha over the candle lighting however if she's by herself then it's okay she could make that she could make the broth even though she can't see the candle light the again that what's the logic behind it is that other people also benefit from the light and therefore she can she can light the candles and make the brother because other people are going to get benefit even if she's not going in there there's gonna be no one else around together with her on that Friday night she can still like the candles with a brothel because you never know somebody may come into the apartment and the minute somebody comes in they're going to get benefit from the light that's been lit okay what do you do when it where do you light your candles if you're eating your meal in one place and you're going home to sleep so let's say somebody has invited you out it might be a bit difficult to you know to relate to this scenario but somebody's invited you out to eat the meal with them and you're going to go back home after the meal you're going to go back and sleep at home but you're going to eat the meal over there too together with the other family yeah I had this actually most of the time alone by myself in borehamwood go out already not gonna stay right so what what did you do I didn't I didn't actually like because I'm kind of anxious man oh good anyway the truth the truth of the matter is that as a single board and you could you could you could get around the problem easily by just asking your hostess to keep you in mind when she comes to light the candles but if you're you know if it's a shame once you're married and you've found somebody who's silly enough to invite you ran to the house that's very silly enough to marry good point this is getting a bit difficult okay we're going to do our best to try to believe in this scenario but if it's our chef know for sure if it's a chev you will find somebody who's silly enough to marry you and your five people in your community are silly enough to invite you to come and eat the meal together with them so there are there are different approaches over here one of one of them is that the that you should light in your home with one of two ways of dealing with that either you stay at home long enough not you perhaps you know your wife stays at home long enough that she's going to get benefit from the light it gets dark outside and then she's going to make away after you finish davening she's going to make a way to meet you at the hosts house or that you make sure that the candles going to stare like when you come back all rights when you come back and can it benefit from the light and then that's okay otherwise the other alternative is to light where you're eating now there is a there is an opinion a very strong opinion inside that locker that you should like that's really where you should like your shabbos animals the place that you're eating we spoke with that about that before the idea of schlock by it that it adds additional you know harmony and additional pleasure Oneg to the meal so the more light there is the better it is but if that's the case if somebody is lighting chavez candles with a host and not lighting the shovers candles at home so then you should at least leave on electric lights at home so there should be light when you come back again to tap into this idea of Oneg what's the idea you need you need to get benefit from your shadows candles right now benefit what does benefit mean benefit is simple it's just an Indian of of you know having light you know you don't need more than that you really don't it's not you've got to get Warped from it all you've got to have a lot of light it's just something there that gives you a little bit of light and if that means that if you can keep that candles burning until when you come home then that's great and if not then you need to make sure that you like where you're eating and then leave some electric lights on to make sure they're there when you come back however there's of course a an addendum to all of this yesterday we spoke about bringing showers early and we spoke about the idea that the earliest that you can like your showers Campbell's from plug America night again what is plug up in a cup like a miracle is a two thirds of the way into the afternoon sorry is that two thirds of the way from colonic midday yeah yeah oh so what's the problem properties like this if you're going to go to your hose house before plug amentha so it's a problem you can't like the candles anyway so that point you bet your better wee bit better to light the candles in your hose house rather than lighting your candles at home because it's before plugging me look at anyway an interesting thing over here again what what happens so you know your wife goes off to the host and if she's supposed to make a bracha now over the candles are not supposed to give off over the candles because profits be matter with the candles by the host s is the one that's really going to bring the owning Chavez that the the special delight for shoppers over here so according to some opinions it would be better for the person lighting the candle to hear the broker from the hostess and answer a main and then rather than say the brother herself but give if she does recite the broker then that's fine it's not a brothel of atala right what does Brock Lovett all you know you're not making a broker in vain it's just it's a little bit of a little bit of a doubt as to what one's supposed to do now there's a there's a general rule with regards to making brokers which says like this suffolk Broca's lahukill which means that if you're not sure about a brother then you can assume that you said it and you shouldn't say it again so let's say for example the bottle of water over here you know you all of a sudden you want to take a drink you can't remember did I make a brothel didn't I make a brother and so you work on the premise that you did and you don't make another broker unless you're certain that you didn't right yeah it is a little counterintuitive it's true the only other alternative for something like a drink that you could do is you could wait half an hour and then once a half an hour is up you can then make a broker again over the over the over the water and then you're okay right that works to make two brothers no not at all yeah now again what was subtract the chalice like this if you know that you have made a broker then you're obligated to make a bracha the next time you drink the question over here is if you're not sure why would it be bad to make two because if you've made a broth already then the second bro fluids cut is what's called a brothel of atala which the broker insane now there's a there's a concept in that locker which is called a Kazakh right the Kazakh says ah Socrates a Kazakh is that something is consistent right so if you consistently make profit then even if you don't remember making the brother the assumption is that you've made it if the assumption is that you've made it then if you make another broker now that's going to be a brothel of atala it's a broker in vain can we ever over bless yeah sure why why can you either blessed because you need that you need to when you cook when you come to bless you need to be blessing according to the way that the how local defines yes I'm talking about for the respective why are we saying a blessing yeah good hundred hundred percent so it's not helping to say thank you once more what what's the problem problem are we here is a problem with the blessing problem in inverted commas were the blessing is it cuz it has God's name in it and using God's name unless it's being done under you know proper controlled conditions is something that we're not supposed to be doing and that includes a broker over here which means that it's true that it would be nice to be able to make a broker every time you drink you know to make another broker why not it's it's you know revealing more of God's Majesty down here each time but the rabbi's came along and said that brothel reciting has to follow pretty pretty rigid rules right so if you're talking about something which is a liquid so within half an hour you don't make another brother so let's say that bottle of water that you've got over here and it is that bottle of water is going to look up maybe you could last you till lunchtime if you're taking sips you know every every at least every 29 minutes then you could make a broker in the beginning of the day like you just made now and you can make the after broker before I don't know before you go to lunch you know you finish a bottle water you wait you after bracha languages several hours later on either person runs over 30 minutes then they've got to make another broker so after tying myself from when I say the brother yeah yeah you need to know that that that Judaism is a religion which leaves that it leaves no holes anywhere now that's for the good and for the bad it makes it makes it a very complex religion it makes it a very detailed religion but it also means that there is that that's the more difficulty mention of it right and that means for example when you drink you know you've got to remember when did I last Rick how many minutes have gone past and you've got to keep everything in your mind but on the other hand it also means that everything has been taken into account which means there's no there's no concept over here of gosh you know should I should I make another bra my water and the halacha say well i don't know maybe maybe not ever everything is covered every detail has been taken care of and that means that what we have to do is we just have to follow follow the rules and if we follow the rules of course then we're doing we're doing what God wants us to do and that's gonna that's going to draw us closer to God in the best possible way which means that yeah it may sound it may sound more logical it may sound more spiritual to recite a blessing every time you want to take a drink to recite another blessing but the rabbis are coming along and saying that it isn't they're not denying that it might be a more spiritual thing to do but there's a practical dimension a practical application to a locker that has to be taken into account and that's what the rabbis are doing the rabbis are not leaving it up to us to decide how we're going to go about making brokers rather rabbis are saying this is a way that it needs to be done I'm wondering whether the concepts of braxin prayer outside of minion it's a personal connection with the chef therefore my inclination is to question why would why would it be so strictly monitored by a third party I mean Fuzzle that's a simple the simple answer is because everything is strictly monitored yeah in order to make sure that we do everything correctly the deeper to say the correct rates for me to talk good good oh so here you go right so what are we going to take prep area prayer is a good example right prayer was introduced by the men of the great assembly well over 2,000 years ago maybe I don't want to pray like that maybe that's not what's expressing the what's what's in my heart so first of all inside of the prayer that the rabbis have introduced there's that there's a certain amount of flexibility right but how about this for a scenario a person davin see a meter and then decides and he didn't daven it well enough I wasn't concentrating and I'd like to daven it again can you do that no because the obligation is for a person to pray you have to pray three times a day once that prayer has been taken care of then that means that for that whatever he had significant maybe person Devas visitor and he doesn't lovin it with the correct qivana and he's upset now he wants a diamond again can he dove in the air meter again know what he can do though is he could govern any other kind of different kinds of prayers instead in order to try to make up so for example he can compose his own prayer and say listen God you know I'm I feel terrible I just I just prayed minister and I don't think I prayed very well and I want you to know that if I could I would pray it again but take this prayer and instead might a person can sit down and a person can recite tehillim Psalms you know the beauty of the Book of Psalms is that there's something there for everybody and a person a person could do that instead there are there are lots of avenues that allow a person to express themselves in their own unique and completely unique fashion even though it's not you too it's not even though you can't use the formal method of prayer except for example I met I met a rabbi a long time ago many years ago he told me that when he's overwhelmed with emotion when he's overwhelmed with you know something beautiful has happened in his home and child is getting married or above its for whatever it is he tries to take those emotions and he tries to tie them up and give them back to God and he says that you know when he feels himself overwhelmed with emotion he'll sit down and he'll recite the Sh'ma now the schwa is less problematic than the Amidah because the schmeyer is words of Tori you can recite the Sh'ma all day long right so you can take the the beauty of the SH man you can dedicate that to God and you can wrap that up in your emotions and you've just done something very beautiful even though you double the Sh'ma this morning you can double it again right now but there are certain prayers which we can't do that with the same is true with blessings blessings are coming to us in a certain way this is where they need to be done who you know the rabbi's event the rabbi's hazael who laid down the her lockers of all of these things right they knew what they were doing and they understood perfectly well that it could be that there would be people who would prefer to make brothels more often but the truth of the matter is that human nature is such that if you made a brother every time you wanted to drink then the chances are that you would find it all rather restrictive I'll tell you more than that if the rabbi said listen you know what you can recite a brothel whenever you want when it comes to drinking whenever you feel overcome with a spiritual need you can make a bracha over a drink I think what we'll find is that most people probably wouldn't make broca's over drinks at all because how often do you feel like that and it's a problem it really is along came the men of the great assembly they said like this up until up until the destruction of the first temple there was no formal prayer the way that we have it today it was really avoid assure believe it came out of your heart and you could just stop and pray with the destruction they'll build up to the destruction of the first temple the spiritual level of the Jewish people sank sinking meant one of the practical dimensions of that was that people were saying okay you know what I don't feel like I don't feel like praying right now so I'll pray you know whenever whenever whenever I get that need again whenever get that feel again I'll pray then and it could be that a person may not pray all day or a week or month right so long can the men of the great assembly they said like there's no listen you're making a fundamental mistake we're obligated to probably have to pray that's our obligation what we're going to do is we're going to make it easier few we're going to give you the text so that all you have to work on all in inverted commas all you have to work on is saying it in the correct way otherwise it just wouldn't happen right and the same is applicable with everything broca's as well the same thing they're coming along and they're saying look we're telling we're telling you how to do this so that all you have to do now is work on how you and not not to not to deal with whether to say it or not oh he isn't important a lot for over here actually we spoke about you know somebody somebody was eating in a different place so the wife the wife goes off to the host house and she's lit the candles in her own home so they're gonna stay alight until she comes back and she's going to get benefit when when they come back from their sudah they're going to get benefit from the candles however she's met if you remember what we said yesterday she makes a stipulation which means that she says that I'm not bringing in shabbos right now because I want to be able to get to wherever I'm going to say you're driving down to your friends for friday night and then you'll walk back home after the seuda so it's important that when she gets to where she's going that she she should be Makabe she should accept upon herself shabbos verbally right even though she's not lighting the candles because she's already lit them at home but nevertheless she should make a verbal you know like a verbal announcement that I'm now accepting upon myself the sanctity of shabbos that way it's as if it's as if she lit the candles over here but she's bringing in shabbos in a different place and the two now become connected to each other she gonna see say that out loud in English she could set out yes she can said in English and she can say it out loud she if she wants to it she doesn't want to said you know out loud out loud so maybe she's a little bit you know a little bit embarrassed about it whatever she can set just as an undertone which you should verbalize it should be said it should be said right now there's an extra dimensional here's something called toss effort shabbat what is to say for sure but like its name like its name denotes to surface Shabbat means that we bring in shovers early and we add on tosev it means to add something on right when you go to a restaurant you have tassa for toss afford other side dishes right tossa fought in the Guevara is again like the additional after rushy the additional commentary after Rashi we have something cool Nerissa sorry yeah similarly for coming from listen mr. coming from the science off maybe right it's certainly shirt certainly shares shares some letters over there and what is more Sofia more self is an additional something something extra right that's why it's called the additional Riley additional service whatever it's called yeah so there's a concept in the lokra to separate Chavez which means what I need to bring in Chavez earlier then it really comes in that's one of the reasons why the the latest time that we bring in Shabbat is sunset but most people bring in sh about earlier in that we spoke about that the other day right lighting candles 18 minutes before sunset and lighting candles over here 40 minutes before sunset so the idea of two cephus Chavez is that we want we want shovers so much that we're going to add more of it into you know we're going to be going to take we're going to steal a little bit of friday afternoon and turn that into Chavez when a lady is being the Kabul on herself I now except upon myself a sanctity of Chavez she should do it early enough that there is toss effort Shabbat involved over there as well that she was adding in a little bit of the of the weekday into a shabbos as well ok what are you doing a place where you don't have it's not possible to light candles I tell you that you have a public area hotel hospital and dormitory right they don't they don't want your lighting candles over here in the dormitory and and it's a perfectly valid concern it really is you know you've got are you can't have somebody lydic you magic somebody in the hotel room lighting where Chavez candles it's not it doesn't work so here in Israel bahasham you know the hotels are kosher on the hotels on Jewish so lighting candles is normally done they normally do it next to either next tour in the dining room which is a great place to do it because that's where you're eating but what do you do you end up in a hotel you know not not not in Israel and then I've gotta let you light it's not it's not it's not possible to the right not in your room and not in the lobby and not no we're right so what are you supposed to do so you could use the electric lights and they can be your shabbos candles instead again where's the best place to use it either in your room or in the dining hall if they'll let you switch the lights on and off over there i'm not sure but in all events it is possible to use the electric lights when there aren't any regular candles to use in their stead and now it's a melodious as a disagreement amongst the various authorities about whether a broker should be made over here or not according to the Ashkenazi approach a brother can be made over lighting electric candle and electric lights are instead of candles on Chavez on Phyllis fardin they tend to be more masks near that more stringent than they say you shouldn't make a bracha the simplest thing to do is you've got Ashkenazi and Sephardic people lighting candles together they can only use electric candles to allow the Ashkenazi to recite the broker for the study she should answer I main and then that will take care of the that will take care of the obligation can you get em like electric Shabbos candles so they used to have them I don't know if they still sell them when I just know when I was a kid they had them the problem is like this the Latina the best way to fulfill the midst of lighting chavez candles by using candles or even better olive oil if it when you like when you're not lighting candles and you're lighting on the electric lights that's what's called a buddy Evatt but the ever it is you're not doing it in the best way can a person go and buy electric candles in order to like them because they are concerned about health you know the concern about safety and leaving candles alight i would i would say like this i would say other normal circumstances the answer is probably no but you know when you get back home ask your you know a co are competent Orthodox rabbi and see what he says maybe he'll say yes or maybe he'll say that it would be better for you to ask your host s to keep you in mind and and to make sure that the electric lights are on when you come back and use the combination of those two rather than use electric candles again that there is a custard because the ladies took upon themselves the obligation and the responsibility of light each other's candles so there's a custom that we like Chavez cameras when they're not home even though their husbands and children may be home right so for example a lady let's let's have a nice happy scenario a lady's in hospital because she just gave birth and it's Shabbos so she should like Shabbas candles in the hospital and her husband then the family will like shadows camels at home right and that that's okay if you don't like shabbos candles and have them in mind so it really really it depends on who is where and what's going on right it might it might be better depending on the scenario it might be better for for the family to have her in mind rather than the other way around just one thing over here let's say she's gone away for shabbos or whatever it is right and family members are lighting candles at home so when that when the when the lady when the mother lights her Shabbos candles wherever she is she needs to keep in mind that she's not been exempted from her obligation by the channels that were lit in her home just something else just something else to keep in mind there's a mimic that emits a sham you should experience its minik this custom you know what won't be very soon but soon it's a shame but after a woman gives birth to her first child so she doesn't like the camera husband lights the candles for her that's cuz you know because she's a she needs to rest and she shouldn't be she shouldn't be you know rushing around and trying to do these things and run fool just just for the first shabbos but no that's me like that's a min again which means she wants to like au shape like handles I know that my wife after our first child she was very excited to like canada get rekt you get to like the extra candle and she didn't she won she certainly didn't want to give up the opportunity being able to light the candles okay she'll Ibaka who is staying in your Shiva and perhaps eating by his parents house so he's you know he's learning locally but he wants to be holding what he wants to be back and achieve he's got a a very very you know intense officer on Friday night after the suit he doesn't want to miss it so he can have that the lighting that's taking place at home is fine that will fulfill his obligation he doesn't have to light with anybody else what about like um I'll be going and staying with my aunt and uncle in literally squats over the next few weeks for shabbos when she likes the Shabbos candles she's lighting him for her home her yeah but would it would include you should keep your mind giving ask also to keep in mind which I'm sure she probably will anyway but might be rude to ask her that I don't think so if you're if you're if you're concerned that it might you know that it might upset her or it might be you know a little bit of thing an obvious thing to say you know so i think i think then the answer the answer is to if you if you stand next to a while she's lighting the candles yeah then for sure she'll be keeping you in mind true okay you know what I think I think we're gonna stop over here I think I think I think we're done we're done with our lockers of candle lighting and um it's a Shen out today Thursday right so tomorrow's the best other week don't have to come in and well if it's a sham on sunday will start the hell of the kiddush okay I which again that's going to be I guess for you know for us it's going to be a little bit more practical because candle lighting you know I'll be good [Music] you [Music] you