Shabbat Candles - Part 2 - Rabbi Reuven Lauffer

so that you'll find what you'll find is that most people when they come to light the shovers count is going to like them either on or near the shovers table now the reason for that it's like we mentioned yesterday that it's supposed to give give light and to give us only to give us delight thank you thank you thank you no no please please calm down everybody however it's interesting that that you know for the ending of what's called shell on by it which is marital harmony so there is an Indian to have you know lights lit and different parts of the house today both Hashem what we have electric lights is really not such a big deal the olden days people did leave candles you know different places me if you got using candles you got to be careful right I'm the reason for that of course is to make sure that people don't get hurt you're stumbling around in the dark and it's going to ads going to upset if you bump into people or into things it's going to it's going to cause cause you know people to get upset what about the candles that you've got next to the seuda a next to the meal so they should really remain long enough light which yesterday to stay alight for the suitor itself so for example it's important for example when you've got something like Pesach so say tonight of course the meal that's eaten on Saturday night is eaten very late because you've got the whole of a seder that comes before it and that means that you should be careful to buy candles that are either big enough to be able to stay alight for many hours or if you're using oil will talk about at the moment so they should just say should stay alight longer than usual now obviously can transfer flame for 1 cable to the next if the candles burning well but can you add more oil to know interesting enough on shabbos you can't do anything at all right on yonder if you can and Ivan yomtov is permissible to transfer a flame from an existing flame and light another candle with that that's ok but on on Chavez you can't you can't do anything can't transfer flame you can't add oil to anything and you just got to make do with what there is there is one opinion we said that not only should that candle sterlite until after the sewer until after the meal but really they should try to stay alight until people go to sleep and again it's idea of schlom bite so if you've got lights on in your house then you don't have to be concerned about it that's okay what what bracha do you like when you come to light the Shabbos candles so it's a regular block of bogota chevrolet lamela call i might shake your channel a bit sort of the God commanded us the teavana lad leak near shel shabbat it's interesting that even though we light more than one candle so it really should be liveleak narat shel shabbat nevertheless the language is used inside of the block was in the singular mudlick ner shel shel shabbat why is that because really the essence of the obligation to light Shabbos candles is fulfilled with only one candle so once you fulfilled your one candle once you've let your one candle then you fulfilled your obligation we'll see in a minute some people you know that the basic requirement nowadays is to some people light even more than that we'll get to that as well in intership ok well how do you like the cameras we're talking about right now we're talking about how women should light the candles and we'll talk about how men like the candles and when their need to light candles or what point however the Ashkenazi custom is that when women come to light the candles they light the candles first then they cover their eyes and then they recite the broker and uncover their eyes afterwards now you know that's pretty that's pretty odd with regards to blessings because normally we make a blessing before we do something so think about food right before you have your piece of chocolate cake you make borrowing believers or not and then you eat the chocolate cake we don't normally eat the chocolate cake and then make the broker however over here what do we do the ladies they light the candles cover their eyes do this we'll get to that in a moment as well right cover their eyes make the broker and then uncover their eyes what is the problem only the problem is like this that according to Kabbalistic sources when you make the broker you've brought in Shabbat right now that's a technical problem why because if you make the broker now it's Shabbat but if you've made the block and it's Shabbat now you can't light the candles so what do they do they light the candles for so then cover their eyes to make the broker and then uncover their eyes in order to get benefit immediately after making the Bravo immediately after reciting the broker they then get benefit straight away from the light right or even though they've lit the candles nevertheless after the broker they are getting something beneficial from what they've done what do we do right and you'll notice at women when they come to light the candles they go like this three times either like this or like that right one of the other and whatever it is so every time we come across this I'm left a little bit a little bit flummoxed by all of this and I asked my wife many years ago why you know why does she do that and she said because that's what her mother does so I asked my mother-in-law and she said that's because what her mother did so I asked that she just did it once and it's just whatever whatever it is I I asked my grandmother in law and she said she didn't because that's what her mother did so I asked my mother and she said exactly the same thing I have never come across a reason for why that is now again I'm not talking about covering eyes you cover your eyes because we've got a technical issue over here with the brother right but the bit before the broth of going like this where does it come from so of course everybody wants to say that you're you're you know you're bringing in shabbos you know like it's like a and you do it three times because three times establishes something that's called a Kazakh but I've never seen anything written down anywhere that explains where this comes from it is conceivable perhaps that going back many generations there was a very cautious a very important lady who was drying off her nail varnish quickly before she before she went to make the blessing so she shouldn't smudge in a thing on her sheitel or something and you know somebody's watching and saying WOW hold on a second you know this is that they obviously there's some kind of a Kabbalistic custom over here that I have to do to and before you know it the whole world is doing if somebody actually showed me a couple of weeks ago there were one of the greatest rabbis of the pre his generation was something called a cousin ish as unleash he lived in bnei brak and he didn't have any he didn't have any official position anywhere actually the cousin age but he was the Halak equal thority of the generation and it was a story that he was once learning on shabbat right after after his meal on shabbat morning he was learning on his mere pesit and a bird flew over and dropped a calling card on his hat so then he started to think he wanted to go to daven milta right now he couldn't wear his shabbos hat because it was dirty and it's not something that can be cleaned off on Chavez and he thought maybe you should wear it everyday hat but he's every day had I don't you see any photos of the husband in his everyday at you'll realize why he didn't want to wear none sure but it really looked quite it was quite antiquated and and you know in need of it certainly wasn't going to honor the Shabak so he's thinking what should he do so finally came to the decision that he's going to wear a tell it so he put on his palace and he went after that limiter anyway on the on the wednesday after he gets a letter in the post from somebody who writes over that that he saw that the cars oneish was wearing his talents on shabbos at minica time and he brought 23 possible sources that must have been the cousin issues reasoning why right halacha cause is why he must have been wearing that talisman cousin it was really upset since in fact you know it's ridiculous that you know you do things for and he just did it because the burden done whatever the bird had done and it had nothing to do with halacha whatsoever he did not hold that a miracle time and showers often should wear at Alice and yet here the next thing you know somebody's taking us down sending it all over the place so maybe that right going like that and drying off your nail varnish maybe maybe it is I don't know anyway when when a man likes of Shabbos candles right now that will happen on several occasions if his wife is not around or if his wife has just given birth and she's resting up when a man comes to light the Shabbos candles he does not have the technical problem that the woman has right so the woman's problem is when she recites a brothel it becomes Shabbat the man's probably the man doesn't have that problem which means that a man can recite the broker and then light the candles in the regular way that we normally do things of making a broker and then doing it what's called over lassie Olsen aye mane right and that's considered to be one hundred percent okay it's only a problem which rests with the women now what is a practical dimension of all of this that if a woman wants to light if the lady wants to light her Shabbas candles and then she wants to travel somewhere so let's say a couple have been invited out to go and eat with friends and it's going to be a lot simpler if they light the candles at home and then they go off in the car in order to get to where they want together so she's going to light the candles a little bit earlier than usual in order to be able to get in the car and get there in time for shoppers and what's the problem the minute she lights the candles even which is I think early and she's made that broker it now becomes shabbos and what she's supposed to do so before she likes the candle she's supposed to make a verbal condition right that I'm lighting the candles now but I'm not going to bring in Shabbat until I get to wherever I need to get to at that point it's okay to do that if she doesn't make that condition then it's a problem right because once she's made the broker then she can know that now it's shabbos and she can no longer go in the car so the week so we go i would say the best thing first you can say the bracha first and you can light the candles afterwards because you're not it's not bringing in shabbos for you so men shabbos comes in in kabbalat shabbat it will come in automatically either at the end of Lahad OD or is more sheer leoma shabana depends right two different opinions over here but whenever it is it's going to happen during cover lunch shaban so you don't have to be concerned about the fact that you lit the shovers candle and you made the blocker that from I do some away him and then straight to kiddush and hid lighting so it sounds pretty that's my axe right yeah like I mean didn't do three times for each verse or anything but still well I mean let's not be fanatical is on the race sunday yellow hard devastating to my parents by the conservative sure but it never did mikado dior you swear she oh good okay so what happens with you so sharp Travis is gonna come in anyway right which means for men for women as well even even if they don't like shadows candles right at some point shabbos is going to come in where the shoppers can as the Sun sets it now becomes Chavez come what may when it's inside of tiller so it's going to occur inside a couple at shebar but if you're not dabbling kabbalat shabbat that's okay because Chavez will fall on you at some point anyway and so the bracha is that leak national shabbat what about on yomtov so I'm yomtov the broccoli is a bleak nair shel yontiff however what about when chavez and yom tov coincide with each other so then you need to say both like the initial shabbat michelle yom tov right just to keep in mind why Shabbas come before yomtov because as a concept in the Gomorrah called kadir letcha a noted ear tidy recording which means whatever's done more regularly has takes precedence normally right so if you've got the Shabbos candles and yomtov candles being lit again you're just lighting the same candles that are being lit but they're fulfilling two tasks over here one is the candles the shadows one is candles for yomtov you should mention shovers first in the bracha because shabbos we say the brock / shall was much more often than we say the broker / yomtov is that the same lighting candles for men the same if you're not married yeah yeah if you're the person is not married and they're living by themselves and that yeah they should be lighting candles or the other alternative is if they're going to eat by somebody they can ask the hostess to keep them in mind and when she's lighting the candles and she can fulfill the obligations some people are careful in order not to in order not to and in in order to be more involved in the candle lighting that they give their host very minimal amount of money what's called a shovel proto shall I protos is I don't know we're probably talking about you know maybe maybe half a shekel that's probably too much even and that way you then become a partner in the candle lighting which according to some opinions is considered to be even better than just being kept in mind but it's definitely okay to ask your host test to keep you in mind or to ask the hose to ask his wife either when she's lighting candles that she should keep you in mind which you're probably going to be doing anyway because she'll be saying to herself why did you have to invite him again just like that because it's true just one last thing over here about yomtov and Chavez hold on a second which really I think I think somebody should have kept on to this straight away actually which is is young to falls out during the week because we spoke on the aunt of its ok to transfer a fire from one existing flame to another right so there are many opinions that say that when you light the candles on yomtov when a lady comes to light the candles on yonder that she doesn't have to be concerned about the broker are we in reciting that lighting the candles first and then reciting the broker because there is no problem with transferring right which means that you can have a flame right next to the candles and the browser can be recited and then the candles can be lit in the regular way alright because again on yomtov there's no problem with transferring flame from one place to another place the only thing that you have to be careful about on yomtov is that it's forbidden to extinguish fire on yontiff which means that if you're using a match in order to transfer and to light the candles you know you can't you can't you know blow the match out but rather you have to let it burn down preferably in a safe place thing but on shabbos if you're lighting in the match you you can write because when you like to wear your lighting on Chavez as a lady right she's lighting before she's making the brothel which visio shudders for her hey and so my mom like who likely shabbos candles and tillamook her as she's lighting them is that incorrect hmm this shows current beginning wait a second what was she was she doing what you do shabbos but it's just that I've interests what what what it would it what is she doing she's she's as she's lighting the candle she's making the broker yes yeah lighting and as she like as she's lighting she's saying the Prophet okay so really and to me to me it sounds like it might it might be a potential problem we're all set growing up we would also like we're all set communally okay that's very beautiful I think I think I think if you if you can if you can get her to just wait a moment here and to light the candles first and then make the broker that's going to be the best way to do it what's the concern the concern is like this an ear for whatever the reason the broker is finished before she's finished lighting so let's say one of the one of the wicks doesn't like properly right and she's still trying to get a light and she's already said the broker and it's a problem because it's already shovers good so is really a problem it's a problem it's a problem for weathers lighting the candle so if it wasn't if she wasn't keeping shabbos no that's the problem myself what I'm saying is if I'm keeping shabbos and I'm at her house which ever since she doesn't do it correctly is it doesn't in no way no my observance okay fine no fish a number i sent my people consider it not to embarrass her so listen if you if you feel that it at this point it going to make more sense to just leave things as they are then for sure these things as they are first of all she's doing it completely without any knowledge so you know it's not like she's deliberately going out and transgressing something over here and you know you may you may feel that that this is not the best moment and maybe six months down the line there'll be a like a you want one of those you know little little moments where we're all of a sudden it makes absolute sense to mention it right now and then maybe sure here what it is it's being said you know difficult to know one thing you don't have to be concerned about is a lot of people say that while we hold on a second if I tell her that she doing it wrong so now instead of doing it inadvertently now she's doing it on purpose right it becomes becomes a deliberate transgression that's not the case you don't have to be concerned about that okay see to light candles using any kind of like eating a lighter rather than a match yeah yeah that's no problem that no at one point now we're actually I am seen them around for a while but they had these sort of like long things that you click on yes you have them and it said look for shabbos kodesh on the side of it so they could charge like another you know couple of pounds for it somebody's making money over here and it was just it was just it's just a lighter you know you filled it up with gas you know so there's no there's no din that you've got to you know that I don't know that it's got to be lit with some kind of you know pre-existing flame of hugs I think about a match is even more historical and oh that's for sure maybe and the flame of the identity here maybe you know what I mean the fact the flame of a match is is the kind of flame that you know the rabbi's talk about always in a state of movement and always moving upwards and listen like like the neshamah and that kind of thing but it's an obligation there's no obligation to use a match to like the Shabbos candles okay when there isn't an issue of a brother bring in Chavez before the candles to might be late is it when there's no such issue is it then preferable to make a breath of the for lighting the candles or it doesn't yeah yeah I think so which means if you're a man it makes more sense to make the broker and delight the candles if you're a woman and it's yomtov and it's not Shabbat so again it probably makes more sense to make it to make the broker and light the candles and do we understand why only when inbreeding the shadows with the breath and the women bring in shabbos by lighting the Shabbos candles the women took upon themselves to like the Shabbos candles it's got it goes back to you the truth it goes back to the time of you know to cover Eve by sinning by tea from the 80 thousand the tree of knowledge so she she brought death into the world and the light the flame is very much like trying to reignite that sense of life of living flame is always analogous to the soul and so I just it's a very it's a very opportune moment right that when ladies come to like the shovers candles but at that point they're going to bring shovers in by doing so they don't have an obligation to pray the way that men do and for men so they can bring shovels a little bit later on when they come to pray a little bit a little bit later on inside of all of this will talk about what happens when people bring in shabbos early and if the you know do the wives have to bring your shovel slowly together with our husbands or can I bring it it later on when the husband's have already gone that happens already made chubbers mr. Chen will will will talk about it the post commissioner says near our chef nishma saw them that the candle of God is the soul of Adam the soul of mankind and therefore that's why the soul that's why you know candle candles are very you see candles all over the place right you stop and think about it for a minute every time we've got something ritual going on so there are candles that are corporate or wedding there are candles when you have a bris milah there are candles when you have when you have shabbos and yom tov you've got candles the idea of reigniting the soul and bringing it back into the place where it's supposed to be your what I most like candles for like yeah yeah we spoke about it yesterday right why don't you want to go to some fancy restaurant or something and you want a a little bit of ambiance so you like light some candles migraines or tattoo candles on her dinner table yeah Nero nishma Adam near Hashem which means that the candle of our share nish Matt Adam is the soul of Adam as its positive ish ly from chapter 20 pots of 27 you schmuck nishan Matt Adam wish madam will you get it from from Michelet proverbs this way michl a chapter 20 verse number 27 okay interesting enough as an interest it is an interesting custom on yomtov there's an interesting custom by some people that they don't like the yomtov candles until their husbands come home with me sure right now again whatever whatever you do it's going to be okay right which means that if you go somewhere and the wives are busy lighting candles at the beginning like they always do before the husband's leave to go to short that's fine it's one hundred percent okay and if you see that somebody hasn't left her what I've got one of my daughters so her mother-in-law haha her custom is not to not to light the candles and yomtov until her husband comes home for sure so that's what she does as well so we were just there for the simplest Torah we were there and she lit the you know wheat my wife and my other married daughter they lit the shut they lit the yomtov candles at the regular time you know as if it was shabbos and she left her son listen when I husband gamehole that's when she lit the candles before the pseudo began before the meal began so and that that's fine absolutely fine it's normally it's normally correct to light your shabbos candles where you're eating the mission Bruce is like this interesting little a locker that the men because because there really is an obligation for the mental light candles as well like but we relying on the wise to take care of it that the men should be involved in preparing the candles for Chavez and that's why you'll see most in most houses and then get the candles ready and there's an interesting I locker interesting mission abroad an interesting min ago we hear that then light the candles and then blow them out in order one you know when a wick has been lit already so it lights a lot easier second time around all right sometimes it's a little bit difficult because the wick is covered in wax so it's a little bit difficult to get the Whitney the wick to catch so husband takes care of that prepares the candles light the candles and then once they the once a flame is nice to blow them out and then when the wife comes to light the candles a little bit later on they're going to light easily and smoothly just hold on a second just interestingly enough there is a laughter I locker because of this possum near Hashem nice nut are done with I look at the possible we just spoke about the first we just spoke about that the candle of our chef is the soul so many people have the custom not to blow out candles directly using your breath says if you're snuffing out the life of somebody and that's why you'll see many people their customers that though you know they'll wave on the flame in order to put it out although they'll put it out by pinching it together with their fingers rather than blowing them out however the high autumn which is one of the classic illogic authorities he writes that when it comes to aarons Shabbat it's okay to blow it out because you're only blowing it out in order to facilitate the mid sir which means evil and this is being done just to facilitate the Mitzvah then it's okay to blow out the candle if that's the simplest way to do it but for example was a practical ramification over here birthday cakes all right you know you shouldn't really be blowing I mean personally I think that blowing out candles and birthday cakes is pretty yucky myself because you know you're spraying who knows what all over this thing and then everybody's gonna eat it afterwards you know how to snuff them out one by one just thinking once every like I mean how do them from people deal with that them so they just not have candles on the cake well what we normally do is we normally have a birthday cakes on shovers so that gets around the problem altogether so you think it's a no candles but again I mean what should you do and it you could you could you know get brick bring out bring out you know they have here in Israel they sell these things for making barbecues right to get your barbecue to flame it's like a piece of plastic that you like that you know flick it what's the cortical that van I can't remember what it's called but it's a it's a piece of plastic and you go like that with it and it makes wind and it makes your barbecue catch light so you could use one of those to put out your your candles um is there anything about having II because growing up I we not ma'am I would always have the shabbos counters on the table but going to round those houses to eat the show's come as always good it's a great great question what what's the problem the truth of the matter is that the the best place to put the Shabbos candles would be seemingly on the shovers table right at the whole point here is to add you know light and delight to shovers then the better you can see what you're eating the better it's going to be your own except us is going to be enhanced however there's a slight problem over here what's the problem the problem is that the candlesticks are considered to be like the candles they're an extension of the candle right what does that mean practically it means that they can't be moved on Shabbat and that's why you'll find in many homes they put the candles on a little somewhere some next to the table rather than on the table because obviously after the meal has been finished on Friday night everything needs to be cleared away some people like to change the tablecloth all together and it's a problem with if the candlesticks are sitting on there what is the MOOC to ya what is the way of getting around the problem is if the candlesticks are sitting on a tray now there's a problem here again that yeah I'm a little bit complicated but it's important the whatever the candlesticks sit upon is going to be considered to be an extension of the candlestick right which means that if you put the candle sticks on a tray the tray is now forbidden to move so far we haven't got around the problem but if you put something on the tray before you light the candles that is considered to be of great worth over shabbat then it's okay to move it so for example you could put a let's say you know you could put a collar on the on the tray that the chávez candles are sitting in and that way I need to if I need to move the color I can do that I want to bring the challah into the kitchen I can now pick up the tray with the color and the candlesticks moving into the kitchen and now I can take off the table cloth and I can take care of you know getting ready for the next meal and bring the halleh back onto the table in order to use it but you have to keep in mind that if you take the collar off the tray there that's it the tray can't be moved anymore what about markets to do it's it's not so it's not so clear it's the way the way the best way I mean a sitter is a possibility the best thing to be using is something which is required for Shabbat now that's why I use the example of a roll or use example of a color or something which is going to be used for Shabbat for a mitzvah on Shabbat that gives it a word which is greater after the candles have burnt down it gives it a worth which is greater than the candlesticks I love that last bit was an important piece of information right which music is not something that could be you've got you've got to use it and the whole thing the old apparatus can only be moved after the candles have burnt out which is the whole time that the candles are burning on the on the on the table right then you can't touch any of that and it's one hundred percent book to exactly when the cat whilst the candles are still alight it's fine once they go tell it's oh you you can't you can't touch it you can't touch anything over here when they've burned out then you can move them just be questioned if the sticks or something serious to the candle every kettles Bruno yeah so they are if they're by themselves they are right this is all it's all on the whole thing's a loophole right how can I get this tray with the candlesticks off the table so I'm going to use this method of putting something which is good to be more valuable than the candlesticks and that's going to allow me to move the tray around right again once I've taken whatever it is off of the tray then you can't touch that tray anymore what about like something that you let's say there was something that you were having at the meal so let's say you play some after-dinner mints on the tray he then brought the tray into the kitchen yeah I'm not convinced that after dinner mints are gonna do the job actually I think in general I think they don't do the job but that's just my person but isn't it a night it's a piece of food that's being eating on yeah I think the thing is like this so you've got you've got I'm trying to think about a van on complicated way to define all this but it's to do is to do with with my requirements right the I can get through the shallows meal without my after-dinner mints bendix minutes even even bendix I mean I appreciate I understand the importance of these things I really do I also also brought up you can't get him over here like my wife hasn't brought in I'll get my mom to bring so much my wife is nuts about bendix mean sexually and why am I in my hope that's all we know shabbos after after the meal on Friday night we always have been digs that was you know old established tradition that goes all the way back to Moses on Sinai believe that's what I understand there's the wanna trade value for shut need to be a value that's all you like for Charlotte yeah can it be half dollar oh um kvm dollar what are you gonna put on there five dollar listening no I don't think it's not gonna work it's not gonna help me it's not it's a candle for sure not because the candle is just another candle right but the Bassam name maybe but it's not going to work because because the bassani you don't need them till after shabbos yeah the problem is gonna be something you can use on shovel I remember there was a hole that was out the whole thing when I was growing up when it was early teenage years and there was a whole thing in London because many people used to put a piece of jewelry on the tray and then once the candles have burnt down the piece of jewelry is something valuable right so now you can move the tray or so the problem was it it's not valuable to shovers so interestingly enough the the the role or the color becomes more valuable than the diamond ring it took a few people you know if you when you get engaged just buy your wife a roll of some of your future wife here you know will you marry me I'll bagel I guess that's going back I just so the health loophole with being able to me if the Train wants let's make on it is only once the cameras have been down yes sir when comes a lit you can never be caught you can't do anything at all with it you can't touch them good okay then we're going to stop over here min to share and to be continued whatever you