Shaarei Teshuva 1:27 - 28 with Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston

[Music] welcome everybody welcome back to the charlie chuva kabora yes it's for women online we have here on the zoom but it's really for everybody and anybody who's watching it now we are still in char alef yes that's the first gate and we are in in paragraphs believe it or not 27 and 28 bizarre to shem i'm going to turn my ringer off so it doesn't ring in the middle of this thing there we go good yeah i lost everybody there we go so it begins by talking about the concept called is haughtiness so we're going to see a lot of verses and we're going to end on a wow a blast a very high level teaching that will hopefully change the way we interact with people especially difficult people okay and it starts off by saying that this thing called haughtiness which we will have to describe a little bit more than just using the word it's actually i'm not gonna say just it's not just a cause but um i i would say i would say it's the cause it brings about like here we're approaching hanukkah so what do they call that little thing in a dreidel in hebrew a savivon savivon so it's what brings it about its heartiness which is like let's say the root cause of i'm not going to say all sin he says comma they wrote i would translate as many right as several or many of they wrote sins um yet sir level of and you know what the word right barrett it strengthens the yet sahara of a man on him and you know when i'm reading you know i i mean all people okay so we're here for women and i keep referring to the the masculine but the the yetzer hara strengthens itself against a person now the first verse we're going to bring is in deuteronomy chapter 8 verse 14 and this is after moses is telling the jewish people you know you're going to come into the land there's going to be so much plenty right a land full of milk and honey you're going to be so successful but after you become so successful you're going to acquire or amass so much wealth guess what's going to happen and your heart grows haughty ram liver your heart will become elevated rama elevated and you will forget as hashem who took you out of eve you're going to forget the lord your god who took you smith think about in our own lives i mean if we could only acquire this true trait of humility the opposite of bloodiness that uh it would be made but we we forget right we sometimes along the way we take credit we're so proud of ourselves and there's a place right there's a place it has to be in a healthy place where we do have to have a great healthy sense of self-esteem and self-worth and know our strengths and pursue them but more out of the duty this is something that god gave to us and we're blessed with those strengths and we're able to broke hashem not everyone is able to to pursue them and use them but remember where they came from so that's the first verse he brings although he brings the second verse as if that's not enough just to put in context because we use the word rome the next verse he brings is from michele proverbs chapter 21 verse 4. this whole idea of this haughty eyes okay hold the eyes i don't know what the difference between what the eyes and hearty heart is but rashi says it's a holy spirit okay so you know there's a halal in the ark that a person is not allowed to walk with his head up like this yeah he used to walk a little bit not too you know not not all the way down you know what i mean you have to look where you're going but you shouldn't walk around with your nose up basically right that's like it's an attitude right everyone has different physical structure and how they need to look with their eyes some have thick glasses like me you can't tell but i paid a lot of money to have them thinned out i'm like i'm like -8 i cannot see a thing without my glasses so perhaps i need to look up or maybe i actually need to look down but everybody's a little bit different but it's more of an attitude even though yes one should not walk with their nose up literally because it certainly shows other people you have a hardy attitude attitude there's no question about how you have to walk a little bit you know with your head straight or down as opposed to up so rashi mentions about how the eyes as a hearty spirit so i don't really see that much of a difference but it's worth thinking about what the difference between a raised heart or raised eyes are but the whole verse says like this haughty eyes and unlimited lust the tillage of the wicked is sin in hebrew there's this lathe this have laive is somehow a widening of the heart that i understand so a raising up your eyes and a widening of your heart now here's an interesting word because again we're riper for hanukkah the word near it's obviously the same letters as nair which is the candle i happen to be in a business where i deal with a farmer and the company's name is near now farming that that that's basically what the word near means it means farming it means plowing making pharaohs now we're going to use it in the first several verses here in a negative way however towards the end he's going to mention that plowing and toiling is not only negative but it can also be a positive so keep that in mind at least in this verse he uses it for near shrimp which basically means right the tillage of the wicked is sin so let's try to understand that a little bit peruse so he's now explaining the word and the word near ashoyan so is the horiness and the near rishoim is the plowing the furrowing of the evil so he puts it together he says the hordiness itself is like the pharaoh plowed by the wicked in their heart in other words it's work true you know we just have to be aware of what we're doing we have to take a cheshbon all the time right not just before we go to sleep but throughout the day am i harboring and fermenting negative feelings towards another human being right if it's if it's r if it's evil so am i am i contemplating how i'm going to sin am i you know making up in my mind how i'm going to rob the bank right i know that's what you see on the movies these guys who are you know bank robbers they sleep they they they they think about all the blueprints and the blueprint the plans of how they're gonna do the perfect heist right so imagine that's evil so imagine somebody who and try to imagine ourselves right it's not just them we also have how i'm going to get back at this person who did me wrong or embarrass me in public or right so we we also let's try to relate this a little bit to ourselves how you it's like a pharaoh plowed by the wicked in their heart those who were learning hebrew the word fruit is coming from this word right right uh because from it from this haughtiness from the pharaoh from the pharaoh that you are i don't know what you call it but you're plowing within your heart that will cause abundancy of sins and something's going to grow out of that right because that's what you do when you when you are a farmer you plow you make this pharaoh in order to put seeds in there and then something will grow so he goes back to the other verse that we said you're going to raise up within your heart and you're going to forget now one of the 6 13 myths is not to forget your torah you're not supposed to forget your torah what does that mean it means you have to review yes that's one aspect but also not to do something actively which will cause you to forget either and haughtiness believe it or not will cause you to forget right it'll cause you to forget you're a servant of hashem okay so keep this in mind that we're not allowed to cause ourselves to forget and horniness is certainly one of those things and as the verse said i'll just read again your heart will become haughty and as a result you will forget about hashem your god now i just want to read the comment here because if one sews an unplowed field the seeds will have difficulty taking root right because you have on top i imagine it's hard ground or it's dried ground right but once you what the what the plow does it turns over the dirt turns over the soil and underneath the soil it's looser for sure because first of all you're turning it over and it's most likely a little bit more moist which means that the seed will take has a better chance of taking root than just sprinkling with sprinkling seeds on the surface of some dry ground okay but if the plow is filled the seeds readily take root and the crop will be bountiful so robino yon is going to explain below that the seeds of evil take root in a haughty heart and produce an abundance of sins those same seeds of sin would shrug would shrivel and die if it was in a humble heart right the humble heart i assume we're talking about a healthier heart that is cognizant of hashem in the awe of god as opposed to this um what am i trying to say here if your heart is humbled there's no place for the the sin to grow there's no place for the seeds of sin to prosper and grow because you have hashem i think it was the cutscore of they asked him where's god and he says wherever you let him in if you allow hashem into your heart and into your sphere of life so it's very hard to be it's very hard to sin but then you'll know where god is we keep him out and what do they say there's an expression if your ego is so big there's no room for hashem right haughtiness is equivalent in my mind to like self-centeredness and someone being like very egotistical somehow another his own being is filling his being and there's no room for hashem so if you allow hashem in there's no room for sin there's no room for these seeds to to be able to survive and prosper okay so romero jonah goes on then mr he brings another verse and this is from psalms 10 2 and the whole verse says with haughtiness of the wicked man he pursues the poor man they are caught in the plots that they have devised the word yidlock is to pursue delecket today we have a pr it's a pursuer right this virus it's pursuing a healthier i mean it's looking for individuals to um contaminate called the covet 19 right pandemic so it's a delectate the leckett is an infection so an infection pursues keep that in mind and that's what rashi says he pursues yidlock he pursues as in genesis 31 36 they're caught the poor caught in the plots of the wicked that they devised against them this is the idea that what happens is someone who's haughty is looking for a victim someone he can look down upon right garim for example i i deal with a lot of converts right they themselves already have many of them have what we call you know they feel like they're secondary citizens us class two citizens and they're not they're closer to abraham and sarah than we are like they made a choice to come under the the awesome wings of the shrine the divine presence we were born into it we should be holding them in such high esteem but it's a two-way street there are some jews who just don't get it and therefore they don't treat them with respect and they themselves feel disrespected and this is a big sin in our generations the generation i hope that uh hashem that we can be go beyond that and really understand the choices that people make in joining such a downtrodden people such as the jewish people okay so we did that verse and he says like this and he brings another verse a chapter 31 verse 19 in psalms that says like this let lying lips become you mute those that speak against a righteous man falsely with hardiness and disdain so the part of the verse he wants us to see is so that's towards it's literally the middle to the end though that's those that speak against a righteous man falsely with hoodiness and disdain so not only are the haughty people looking for victims that are let's say seemingly less than them but also they're looking to speak against a righteous man falsely the word attack rashi says means untruth something unfounded okay and uh the verse ended with arrogance okay with gaba the god of the booze and shame then he brings us to yahushua ezekiel chapter 32 verse 24. it's really momish towards the middle of the end there is elam an old company around its grave all of them slain fallen by the sword who descended uncircumcised into the nether parts of the earth and this is the part he wants us to see who cast their destruction in the land of the living i share not new why is he bringing that i think he wants to show us like the plowing idea just to drill at home that it's like putting it into the ground he brought down the words to instill terror in the land of the living let's see there is a comment on this quite big the prophet in this passage speaks harshly about wicked people who use their power to instill terror in others this applies to anyone in the position of authority who abuses his power obviously it's the haughtiness that causes these powerful people to abuse their positions and instill terror in those beneath them even though we did talk about even righteous people and not really beneath them but if they're in power they feel that everyone is beneath them roberto yon has listed four examples of sin that directly results from haughtiness number one was forgetting hashem number two was persecuting the poor number three was doberet was speaking lashing hara and the the fourth one is instilling terror in others so i think that i i should correct myself and say what that is talking about is the destructive part the terror okay so that's what evil people do this is this if you can see and a person doing any one of these four things chalk them up as evil commercials just like people do when they when they make this pharaoh this plowing of the field could they live for hazera they do it in order that the seeds shall become fruitful villa assault and they would uh bring in a lot of um a crop at the end right that's the goal so too the rashom they're plowing they're thinking about how successful they their evil plans and schemes can be seen and that's exactly what they're doing the wicked are plowing a pharaoh of haughtiness in their hearts this royinbow machavos royce and they're seeding they're sowing within their own hearts this these evil ideas these evil evil intentions to give birth and causing to sprout up those sins which are ultimately the fruits of their thoughts i mean this is very descriptive now if we can just imagine any time that we were if we were ever evil for just five minutes what goes through our minds and how it overtakes us in hoshaya the um the rabbino is going to bring down a metaphor of the idea of this pharaoh in the same way look at hoshaya 10 4 they spoke words swearing falsely forming a covenant and judgment shall spring up like hemlock i guess nobody knows what a hemlock is a hemlock is like a poisonous growth on the pharaohs of the field so let's see how the hebrew tells us the word a tell is like a pharaoh because a pharaoh goes down and then you have like a little bit of a um an upswing so that's what i tell him is like the pharaoh of the plowshare is called a talum and the word hemlock which springs up on the pharaohs of the field which he calls bitter grass this is rashi by the way so do their judgments spring up as bitterness grows for the poor needy i would think of like this as not just bitter grass poisonous infective like it could even be like weeds like it's something that is not really edible okay so that's what this verse is referring to and it uses the same idea as pharaohs i'll just uh read this little comment here the prophet hashem predicts that israel we just will be judged harshly for its sins right this is before even the north right hoshaya prophesies to the north so this is before the north is exiled he uses the metaphor of a hemlock a poisonous plant sprouting from a pharaoh to convey the idea that by sinning they prepared the soil they actually does work it takes work and they were you they were they were mamish doing the wrong thing i mean you imagine years you have a king who says don't go to you shalom everyone knew the bible i mean it was before it was written but they knew the torah and they knew i'm saying the five books of moses was written and they had that the prophets hadn't yet been fully written but they knew they had the tradition of what the prophets had to say and yet they had their own temples and they divorced themselves basically from yehuda they had evil kings similarly the verse we are examining uses the metaphor of a pharaoh to convey the idea that the wicked prepare the soil of their hearts in a way that causes it to brew to produce a rich crop of sins i think it's quite illustrative of what we're talking about here now since we've already discussed this idea and we're just going to have to go into a little bit further the original verse we brought was haughty eyes and a proud heart are a pharaoh for the wicked now we don't know how to read the last word for sin is it singular is it sins so in other words the horny eyes and the proud heart are a pharaoh pharaoh meaning that which causes it to grow of the wicked force in towards towards sin he says really should be read like this should understand it that haughty eyes and a proud heart are a pharaoh of the wicked comma a sin in other words that itself is a sin to be haughty that is a sin now rabindra yonah now provides two interpretations of what we mean by a sin uh it sounds like it's singular pirous what does it mean the near rishayam near khattas that the pharaoh of the wicked is a pharaoh for the seeds of sinfulness which really means that that one sin of heartiness is the source and it causes all the rest of the sins and he gives an example now from jeremiah chapter 17 verse 1 it says the khattas of yehudah the sin of yehudah is inscribed with an iron pen okay the whole verse says like this with a diamond point engraved on the tablet of their heart and on the horns of your altars and what does he mean that he says alternative way we can explain this is that this means and they sin in other words if we had and they sin it should have a above mecca there right get through the verse haughty eyes and a proud heart are a pharaoh of the wicked and a sin but it doesn't say and the sin but he wants to prove that doesn't prove anything because just because there's no love there we have other verses where we know that the love isn't there and it still means end and the example he gives in habakkuk chapter 3 verse 11 it says in english the sun and the moon stood in their dwellings to the light of your arrows they go and to the brightness of your lightning of your spear but in hebrew there's no vove it says shemish right we would understand it as shemeshviya rayach there's no valve but we still understand that as obviously the sun is not the moon and the moon is not the sun it's the sun and the moon so that's one way to understand it i'll just read the comment here the verse literally says the sun comma the moon stood still but it surely means the sun and the moon in our case too when the verse says a pharaoh of the wicked comma a sin it means and they sin now there's a very interesting comment here that um he brings down the idea that the metaphor of a pharaoh we've been using in the negative sense but you can also use it in a positive sense and i think it's worthwhile hearing the two verses that he brings down how the word pharaoh is also used in a positive sense against the word near near which is near also the same letters for the root for the candle the first verse he brings down to jeremiah chapter four verse three and four and so says hashem to the people of yehuda and to shalom plow for yourselves a pharaoh nero lachem near make plow for yourselves of a pharaoh do not sow upon thorn bushes circums circumcise yourselves into hashem remove the barriers of your heart so the same plowing that we have been referring to the possibility of growing these poisonous plants and this evil scheme is the same word the same concept that we actually could and should as according to the navy according to the prophet in jeremiah we should be using the same concept for positive so too in hoshia chapter 10 verses 12 through 13 just as a farmer plows to soften the earth and let the seeds take root as we've been explaining also to uproot the unwanted thorns and weeds right while you're plowing this is makes sense right while you're going through the process you're going to remove large rocks you're going to remove the the thorns that were uprooted so too jews must plow pharaohs in a positive way in their horse in order to let the seeds of penitence produce fruit and to eliminate any negative tendencies that would be barriers to chuva so i hope we're making this totally clear here as i mentioned in the beginning the word pharaoh is going to be used in both senses now the second point that the robina yoda wanted to make was that the haughtiness causes a person to be overpowered by his evil inclination so meaning a master of audience someone who has a lot of it a haughty person nimsa biyat yitro he himself is given over he's consumed by his yetzer haram ezra hashem hashem hashem will not even help him because it's considered an abomination this person is like wallowing in his in his pharaohs of hate and sin and evil and he's just causing it to grow and grow and grow with like no no stoppage years maybe i don't know how many times one has to go through the same process of mistakes of this type of sin to the point that hashem would have given up on him i want you to know that the the the one of the main lessons of hanukkah's hashem never gives up and anyone but to the point that the person is in other words hashem is disgusted with him even if hashem is disgusted he doesn't give up he will still be there listen to my clip i just put out a clip so you can see probably if you go to i didn't upload it yet but i will if you go to the clip that i have um regarding hanukkah i think it's a very short few minutes clip that i gave it to africa there was a group of africans that we spoke to who have jewish heritage so that's basically what the the end of that paragraph because hashem he will not benefit from god's help in overcoming his sahara since he is an abomination to hashem okay so the gomorrah conduction teaches us this i want to explain the gemma a little bit uh rabbi shimon ben levy says that a person's inclination overpowers him every day and seeks to kill him the verse says the wicked watches the righteous and seeks to slay him that's in psalms thirty seven thirty two so fair russian sadiq right he's anticipating to it to attack to overpower the righteous person and he's requesting he's seeking out his death now if not for the fact the holy one blessed he assists he's actually always there he helps each person in battling his over his evil inclination if if it wasn't for god helping us we would never be able to overcome it that's why it's so important to pray for salvation pray that hashem assist you the morning prayers there's it's it's talking about god please save me from an evil neighbor an evil thought right it's just make it real know what you're praying don't just say the words make it real and you know what hashem will answer you it's amazing it says in psalms 37 33 the very following verse the lord will not leave him in his hands so even though the wicked watches the righteous in order he seeks to slay him the lord will not leave him in his hand it's only because hashem's help now hashem created the eterna he also created the antidote him the torah right his assistance but you have to want it hashem will lead you and allow you to go in the way you desire you want to be evil hate as they say all right but it'll be an abomination in god's eyes you want to be righteous he'll certainly help you now we're on paragraph 28. we had the idea so far that robin yoko was focusing on humbling oneself before hashem now we're going to talk about humbling oneself before other people now i just want to before i start this i want to mention something that i totally skipped in my class the other night on 48 ways and i really wanted to and i ran out of time i was so tired it was like a lit i think it was 12 30 at night i finished and i was like 12 35 i was like i just couldn't even see anymore but this paragraph is something i wanted to read this is from a book this is uh the midrash mueller which is uh written about 500 years ago on perky avat the sixth chapter the sixth mishna which deals with the 48 ways to wisdom and one of the 40 ways to wisdom is having like this roman moves towards hashem feeling that he has grander and is so high that helps bring one wisdom but he talks about the idea that a person should feel remember everyone's made in the image of god so whoever you meet and see you should be awed by them you should be taken over by something greater about them than you have in other words everybody i'm a people watcher i just love watching people in the park or wherever i'm at and even during davening i'm just fascinated that every human being is so unique and there's something to learn from everybody i'm just totally fascinated so this is what they said this is in um he's it's taken from javascript they asked one of the sages what made you be a master over all the people of your generation why are you so great he said because i never met one in whom i didn't see the quality in which he was greater than me can you imagine everybody you meet there's something unique about him that's greater than you if he was wiser than me i would say he reveres god more than i do due to his superior wisdom and if he was less wise than me what could i say i would say his accounting meaning in heaven will be less than mine on the day of judgment because i transgress knowingly while he draft transgresses unknowingly in other words he's greater than me when the day of judgment that final great day of judgment he's going to go slip right through and if he were older than me i would say his merits are greater than mine because he came into the world before me he's been in the world more years than i have he must have done a lot more misses than i have and as he was younger than me what would i say his sins are fewer than mine right because he wasn't around as long as i have and if he was equal to mean age and wisdom now what do you have to say it'd be quite creative i would say perhaps his heart is devoted to god and is better than my heart for i know of my own past sins but i don't know of his right and if he was wealthier than me i would say he was he has used the opportunity of his wealth to serve his creator and performs active charity and to gift and to gift the poor in a manner greater than i and what if he was poorer than me i would say he is contrite and lull your spirit more than me on account of his poverty and therefore he's better than me i never desisted from honoring all of them and humbling myself to them amazing amazing concept here and i'm sorry i didn't read it then but whoever is watching both will get it we're about to discuss this idea [Music] has to acquire this trait of humility as it says in perki a vote that one should undertake this this type of behavior as the sages say in alvas four mishna ten how they shuffle you should have a humble spirit in front of everybody before every human being the gum look and you shouldn't pay any attention to anything that is offensive or insulting you don't have to believe it right if someone's telling you about a business partner of yours or you're about to enter into negotiations with a business partner you could um let's say take it i'm gonna say take it to heart you could um you can investigate it right it's worthy of investigation but you shouldn't believe it okay you shouldn't let it affect you you can hesitate you can check things out before you sign on the dotted line that would be appropriate but not to believe it the avira midotav this is going to be very interesting [Music] means means to forgo to let it slide to forgo your rights and therefore forgive the fellow forgive the other person he says it means literally re relinquish his measures amida is a measure me does a character trait so you're allowing you're you're letting it slide off your back right the insults that someone may give you or perform against you you're allowing you're not going to react the yiska muse and through the act of not reacting right through actively holding yourself back your sins will be forgiven unbelievable i have a lot to say about this i just want to let me finish the the paragraph and then i'll go to this gemara in rosh hashanah 17a so it says in the gemara hama that if one forget foregoes his rights against his fellow who offended him then heaven heaven will meet a negative need a measure for measure right the way you treat others is the way hashem will treat you does that make any sense unbelievable we're going to talk about it shortly as he begins to say meet a connecting media that in heaven they will treat him measure for measure this is a very great opening for hope that gives you an opportunity to gain atonement for your sins now this verse i'm about to tell you i believe is the source for that other religion christianity that proclaims to someone hits you turn the other cheek right we don't believe in that okay that's not our thing what do we do listen to the verses first and then i'm going to go into the gemara and explain the verse it says in icha that's lamentations chapter 3 verses 29 through 30. tikvah let him put his mouth to the dust there may yet be hope let him offer his cheek to the one who strikes him let him be filled with disgrace okay now what i want to do is open up because i i sent myself an important email with this document that i forgot to print off with some interesting uh fundamental concepts i'll read the game in the meantime while it's coming up a sage this is from rosh hashanah 17a a stage from the school of rabbi ishmael taught in a breitha he overlooks each and every of the first transgressions i want to skip that actually i can god counts the overlooked sin with them meets out punishment accordingly rava understood this very differently with regard to whoever forgoes his reckonings meaning somebody did you wrong with others for injustice is done to you a heavenly court in turn foregoes punishments for all your sins it says in michael chapter 7 verse 18 he bears sins and forgives transgressions whose sins does he bear the sins of the one who forgives his reckonings for with with others for injustice committed against him now let me explain this because i think we got the idea but here we go here we go okay this idea i will quote a few things about forgiveness it's in our self-interest it's in your self-interested as i just said if someone wrongs you and you're able to forgive them you what you're doing is you're giving them a positive judgment because if the more people are upset with this guy then hashem will be upset with this guy and he's also upset with the guys the people that were upset with him because we caused this negative judgment i understand the the real culprit is the guy who did the wrong but if we were able to act like hashem and forgive then we're acting in the right way and it has reverberations throughout the universe it's called a zombra right if i can only forgive look at that person not have a grudge on my heart but look at him the way i described before how there's something positive he must have done a mitzvah he must have done one mitzvah in his life right maybe he was young he honored his parents until he became spoiled rotten but he must have been innocent at one point in time in his life if i can just soften my own heart and this is the way josh god is going to judge me so it's really in my own interest but there's another aspect is that we're all really connected if if a jew is being judged harshly that means we're all being judged harsher because of him so if we could somehow just turn it around to look at something positive there's something very good about that so i want to read um in order to get god's forgiveness become a more forgiving person okay there's a gamora this is rosh hashanah 17 a he who is merciful or forgiving to others mercy is shown to him by heaven while he who is not merciful to others mercy will not be shown to him by heaven so it's a very selfish thing it could be a very selfish thing to work that out in your heart that you don't have this grudge so of course we're supposed to imitate god and we know that god is merciful so by imitating him by being forgiving towards others who wronged us so rav nachman of breslau he says this imitate god by being compassionate and forgiving he will in turn have compassion on you and pardon your offenses now we're going to get into some rocky territory here because if i believe that everything happens to me right it's because god willed it if i believe god willed everything that happens to me then this too is really for my own good what should i do should i thank or forgive the perpetrator that's going to be the question right as i mentioned the beginning of this little discussion according to christianity and they said if someone slaps you give them your other cheek that's preposterous if someone comes to kill you someone comes to damage you you have every right to defend yourself and even hit him first it's talking about a spiritual slap okay somebody embarrasses you in public somebody soaks as if to say slaps you right someone insults you someone does something that makes you feel uncomfortable you know what maybe you should thank them listen to what happens i'm going to tell you according to kabbalah there is of course you're going to experience like death right and when you embarrass somebody in public your the blood rushes and then it goes away it's like you can compel all your sins will be forgiven because you basically died and we know that death is death itself you experienced a tinge of death okay could you thank that person look it didn't happen for no reason everything that happens because god willed it to happen yeah this person was a j-e-r-k right he was like i don't know not nice but ultimately don't you doesn't mean you have to go and thank him and say congratulations thank you very much you know it's like rubbing a dirt into his moon right but ultimately if you understand that this was for your benefit you may not understand it now if it had to do with torah if he was insulting you you're a rabbi or you're a leader of a you know jewish community and he's insulting the torah right or you're just a bystander watching somebody insult the torah you have every right to stand up and make a defense but when it's personal you let it go it's very it's it's extremely hard um uh i would just want to quote rabbi um rabbi jonathan sachs who just passed away recently he says when we when we forgive and are worthy of being forgiven we are no longer prisoners of our past right i've heard this said before about people you know say somebody admits you know i've held this grudge for so many years can you believe that this person lives rent free in that person's mind for all those years i it's just my opinion i think many natural look there's natural diseases there's diseases like cancer and whatnot that a lot of times it really only has to do with dna but it could be also diet it could be the environment but i think and i'm not only god knows okay but i think many of these illnesses are internally caused by our own thoughts and responses that cancer is something that eats you from the inside out and many people have experienced maybe trauma and they never healed and they're that if they don't heal it it's going to damage them and it's going to damage the people around them and it sends some very bad energy my prayer is okay there is dna there are people that are prone to get certain diseases and the health of the family tree and whatnot and of course there are environmental issues and their dietary issues but keep in mind if it's a possibility that's that we could cause our own demise because of the the hatred or the evil that's harboring and you know growing within us then what we should at least try to do is take that as a possibility right of course you still have to do all the hishtadlu to live a healthy life and to have your checks you know if it if you're supposed to be checked every three months or once a year whatever it is you still go through all that but try to let go of you know forgive try to forgive and move on and think positively about other people and with that we'll end tonight's today's session and misrat hashem will continue oh i don't know if we're going to meet next sunday night because of hanukkah i'll let you know i have a feeling we're not not sure but we'll we'll talk about it okay so anyway signing off sayonara have a great life and looking forward to the next time we meet [Music] oh