Shaar HaBitachon Lesson 33 with Rabbi Shais Taub

all right welcome back continuing chapter four we've been speaking about the fourth category out of seven in life which is the famous Halawa base of the hvordan the spiritual or rather the emotional and physical duties that we do for the sake of the spiritual meaning religious duties mitzvahs that we do that only affect ourselves and whereas when it comes to health or making a living or managing our interpersonal relationships because there's so much that's beyond our control and beyond our choice we need to have a lot of it talking and rely on a sham in contrast when it comes to our religious duties where we were given the choice and we were given the empowerment to do what we have to do it's really inappropriate to have the same level of the talking or the same kind of be talking because it's up to us it's up to us to make the right choices but we we said that after we've made the right choice and we have commitment to do the right thing where where's the betoken the betoken is then in order to get the job finished that we don't have complete control over so in that we would we would trust in our chef right but to start the job and to make the decision to do it and to stick with it you know that's got to come from us we also spoke about one other place that it's it is appropriate to have be talking and to rely on a sham we said that's to ask Hashem to help you to stay focused then even though you've chosen the right thing already you're asking he should help you to stay focused and remain of a higher brought many different proofs from from Psalms from King David for that okay now let's continue to the fifth area of life what was the fifth area of life it still matters of this world for the sake of the next world but the difference is meaning stuff the physical stuff that you do but it has spiritual importance but what's different why is it not the same as the fourth category what's different is it involves others right category four was only stuff that involves me category five is where other people are involved so let's jump in evoke Peter Shakalaka hammy she let's now look at an explanation of the fifth category the who Havis why you bought a machete album the knees come miss Abram el cielo say these are duties of the limbs it's interesting it doesn't say duties of the heart and limbs because when it comes to other people they're not affected by how you feel they're affected by what you do so these are duties of the limbs that can benefit or damage other people for instance cats dog like giving charity waha my said the tides also charity Vuli murdock achma and teaching wisdom the savage Petrova Hazama Hara and exhortation to right conduct and warning against evil that means telling people hey that's a good thing you should keep doing that or hey that's not so good you shouldn't do that so much Aloha ship harmonize or returning deposits Ola hostel aside and keeping secrets being a good confident trustworthy person well add a barrack tithe and speaking good speaking good of others so speaking well or speaking good I'm not sure speaking well would be like beat to be eloquent you could say lush and hotter and speak well he could be very eloquent in your lush and hotter no speaking good goodness okay the last say hot toi've and also to do good right the difference between doing well and doing good they used to say about the colonizers from England that went to Africa to supposedly as missionaries so they say they went there to do good and they did very well indeed right they went there for spiritual causes but they ended up making making out like bandits doing very well doing well monetarily very Buddha vase and honoring their your parents waha Chavez how to show him al-hakim and returning wicked people to God helping people to do teshuva the hater is been a automatic hate they have awesome and showing people the right way to go the right way to live relax Mel Annie a ham and also to pity the poor let our camel a ham and to treat them with mercy the lease bail hare possum Hisham Maher a some El Jefe de Mia clay some nada magma lava anus and to patiently bear people scorn when urging them to God's service encouraging them to do what's right by holding out to them the hope of reward and deterring them from wrong through fear of punishment so these are all examples of things that we do that are not practical things like health and wealth and interpersonal relationships these are spiritual things or they have spiritual value to them and they involve others so this is different than any of the categories they spoke about before the first three categories were you know mundane things fourth category with spiritual stuff well physical things that has spiritual ramifications but only to ourselves and now this fifth category physical things that have spiritual revocations to people other than ourselves so how should we have been talking in this area a little bit different than in the previous area and available hides can explain us how it differs off nyesha by talking bizarre the proper way of having been talking in this area she heard them saying below of a cola my similar vadim elohim is to keep the thought of all these matters and similar things in one's heart the eve higher assay some the estaba valium and resolved to do them and pursue them if he my damn new the halacha IV he of obihiro elena least god of LOL akimbo god in accordance with his duty to exercise free choice as we mentioned when dealing with the fourth category so that part's the same Lalique nice shame recovered Benet hem not to make a name or to win honor for himself the loyal acaba said mume ham and not to expect reward for it malay least or aryl a ham and not to have power over others so the first thing is when you're doing mitzvahs that involve others you have to be aware of the occupational hazard of the do-gooder which is that you end up trying to use the good for selfish motives sometimes yeah sometimes we are doing good things that benefit others and we have unwholesome motives either we want the validation remember we spoke about this we're talking about interpersonal relationships of a secular nature you know just like helping people out in business and stuff like that you know we want the validation or want them to owe us a favor we're trying to gain control over them well I want to tell you something the same exact motives can creep into religious obligations so you're helping the poor or you're teaching the the people who need to learn or you're helping somebody to change their conduct the all good things mitzvahs mitzvahs intermix with you you now just it's good to do you have to do and yet a person could have sort of an ulterior motive that's that self-serving and he's using that position that he's in in order to satisfy some personal emotional need that he has I made him cry saying don't do that don't do that keep it pure so that's the first thing but a saqqaq and then after you've done that you've took alcohol Hakeem Bosch Lummis Amaya rely on a Shem to finish the job shake even las AC mayhem the things that he was intending to do if he masher who writes a very menno according to what Hashem wants from the person are Ashiya Sabah velov after the person has put forth effort so in other words no that's a very convoluted at least in translation it doesn't read so smoothly so let me just say that in simple English so do good things that help others try to keep your motives clean and then after you've done that rely on uh Shem to get the job finished because there are plenty of times where we want to do the right thing and we've set out to do the right thing we even started the job and there are obstacles beyond our control so we need to rely on our Shem to clear those obstacles that are out of our control you know I control what I do but I can't control outcomes so you know when I'm when I'm like saying trying to feed the poor so it's not enough that I tried to feed them I want it to succeed I wanted to actually happen I want them to get fed well in that case I need I need Hirsch himself I don't need his help to choose to do the right thing because he gave me space to choose the right thing but after I've chosen the right thing I need his help to make sure that actually gets carried out music feel all day because there last year me Misha ain't sorry Leila idea also he should be careful to keep his good deeds hidden from anyone anyone who doesn't need to know should be on a need-to-know basis he be a say mister yes Kotter yessir God love Omashu yeah Emmy and neither because if he keeps a low pro that's called that's that's how the cool people say low profile if he keeps things hidden then his reward will be greater it'll have greater spiritual value in other words we call that snail laughs I see my image Emily cackle walk discreetly with the Lord your God you know we all know how to do sins without getting caught this is called doing mitzvahs without getting caught especially we're talking about before about how much we love that approval Oh mashallah you Kalahasti a and that which he's unable to hide what does that mean he can't hide it the nether but Cadis says something interesting here that the davina bhai is warning us against a certain thought that the eight Sahara will try to to put in our minds yet so hot is gonna come and say listen I'm gonna get caught doing this good deed it's gonna bring attention to me I'm not gonna be able to hide it and then I'm gonna receive all types of praise from people and it's not gonna be good for my from my ego so you know it's probably safer I just shouldn't do I just shouldn't do this Mitzvah right so the nether vocator says listen it's obviously better to do things incognito you know a low profile but it should the risk of being exposed as a do-gooder shouldn't keep you from from doing good yeah you know you gotta do you try you try not to get caught doing good because it's better to let it be subtle and and and modest but you know if you get caught it's fine it's it's okay do you got to do what you got to do what needs to get done that's that's the main thing that's housing that if okay this explains it now at the same time I want to mention that there are ma in the show cannot appear todaya semen hmm Tess says and it's a good thing to advertise when somebody does a good deed that's the source of the plaques you know about the Israeli space force the Israeli space force they they launched a rocket to the moon a space shuttle and so there's a whole countdown and everything and it didn't make it off the ground the shuttle like didn't make it off the ground and the engineers realized because when they did the math for the the thrust that was needed for liftoff they didn't calculate the weight of all the plaques because Jews made a space shuttle there would be Huck dutchess right would you like to dedicate one of the o-rings on our space shuttle right of course if only someone had dedicated one of the o-rings that's what I say okay because you know the guy who dedicated the o-ring will be like let's check that o-ring again before we take off all right what year was that was that challenger maybe someone will look it up remember that anyway so how come if we're supposed to keep a low profile how come the Nomo says you should advertise it when people do good so there's a couple explanations one is that I mean this is the most important thing then it's gonna attract other people to do it so you're gonna have to take a hit for the team you're gonna have to expose yourself a little bit and you're gonna get some attention and you're gonna get some praise and it might pump you up in a minute yeah it might be a little bit dangerous for your ego but that's the price you got to pay because it's gonna get other people to to do good but another explanation is that actually I'll humble you because when everybody's telling you what it's Adak you are you'll be like if only if only uh I wish I were living up to what people think of me okay why can't you just say this isn't a private chat that the obligation is sound the other people to make a big deal about what you did yeah well that's the easy answer that the other people are supposed to make a big deal about you but we can even answer about allowing you know going along with it and allowing it to be publicized all right so he said and what about the stuff that he can't hide mashallah you who last year died that which he can't hide yeast kitabayashi - Adam knew he had a Alice Vanessa claw I mean bro am qiyam butter sure Sibelius bought it he should remember that the principle that we stated earlier is that neither help nor harm proceeds from any created being except with the permission of the creator may he be exalted so if you succeeded and you're getting attention for doing good things you should just know you should be grateful that Hashem accomplished these things through you you didn't accomplish it if M accomplished it you should be grateful that he used you as the tool for it to happen okay Vic Tashia Galgo Hebei de Alli OD Mitzvah now when the creator brings about a good deed through him the action believers you think too he who take ma Sibelius Alicia hateem book a love then Hashem is really doing him a favor in other words when you do something kind for someone else you should realize you are the recipient of the ultimate kindness that Hashem is doing for you by allowing you to do this kindness well yes my Bashar bhai saving a other mala ho and he shouldn't be happy when people praise him for it that human approval is so such an in a dangerous addiction don't even develop a taste for it well yok baits be conveyed them Buddha he shouldn't want to be honored for the good that he does we have the a who's a his guys when I say oh and it help it'll bring him to be arrogant about his deeds the absently by the colossal el Hakeem he'll lose his the purity of his intention to God we have said my say oh yeah baits car a and then the deed would be ruined and the reward would be lost so the whole thing could be punished and ultimately fall apart if he if he starts to develop a penchant for the praise praise has to be like chocolate you know what I mean it has to be like chocolate anyone will tell you that chocolate doesn't taste good to them is alive of course chocolate tastes good and there's no point in trying to make chocolate okay there are certain tsadikim they don't taste anything and if you have corona by the way you don't taste anything so either you're at Sabich or you have corona so you should just ask your doctor okay god forbid no one should know of such a thing anyways you know that people are gonna be watching this class like a year from now even and these references are not even to make sense them no one's gonna remember this whole corona thing Corona should my Rona okay anyway praises like chocolate if you have chocolate in your mouth it's going to taste good it's going to feel great there's nothing you can do about it nothing you do to prevent that feeling however if you live your life in such a way to increase your likelihood of being able to eat chocolate as often as possible you're not living right see what I'm saying like you live your life in order to live your life as a good person and if it so happens then a little bit of chocolate comes into your life and it tastes good okay it tastes good but don't go looking for the chocolate don't do anything to put yourself in a place where you think there's gonna be chocolate like don't be like driving your car than go ok hollow things I have a half an hour before the next but this next meeting now have two places where I have to really go well that that place is probably to be chocolate I don't know I remember when their older daughter got engaged they did have a fondue fountain I think I'm gonna what we'll hit it up let's check it out and see if they have chocolate now be a terrible way to live don't go looking for the chocolate but if you're standing there and someone's like hey take this chocolate and you're like and you're eating it ok I didn't look for it and count on it I wasn't gonna be disappointed if I didn't have it but now that it's in my mouth yeah it tastes good ok that's the same thing with praise don't do anything that will increase your chances of getting more praise or going where you think you're gonna be praised but when when you hear praise obviously if it feels good it's like chocolate ok let's finish up here just one more line here the on the off said Lavazza be shy a bit as a sous-chef and I will with God's help explain this in the appropriate gate in its char which char so the nether back ater says this is talking about the fifth gate gate number five the gate of wholehearted devotion of all acts and according to the past lakum nope it's the sixth gate the gate of humility maybe it's a little bit of both a little bit of gate five a little bit of gate six but it's not it's not shot of a-talkin which I believe is gate 4 of reversal of Elvis at any rate though somebody by the way posted I YouTube and said could you sum up every class in one sentence I don't know I'll take it as a challenge so let me try to sum up tonight's class in one sentence we learned about the fifth category which are the things that we do in this world for the sake of the next world meaning good deeds then that as opposed to the previous category that only effect ourselves this category as good deeds we do that affect others when we do it we should keep a low profile as much as possible but if we get caught we get caught and just try not to get addicted to the approval and remember that if it works out and we're successful in it we should really really thank hashem because in the end we don't control the outcomes and you know we have to we have to be grateful to assume that it worked out okay somebody's asking here what about acknowledgment and praise for your staff who work for you okay so here's the thing a lot of things that we do as spiritual people or people who are trying to be more spiritual involve paradox so like the big paradox you spoke about a couple times is that all the things we're learning here about equanimity and about accepting our suffering with with grace and with poise and that it's all good and there's no such thing as bad it's all hidden blessings that's for us to say to ourselves never ever ever say that to someone else when they're when they're going through a hard time well I'm gonna tell you another paradox the other paradox is praise when it comes to my own praise me getting praise is like chocolate like I said before and there's another reason why it's like chocolate because you know what I love chocolate but I know what it does to me when I eat too much of it and you know it feels good for a minute but what they call a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips right you carry it around forever and it's just a you can't walk up the stairs and you can't pop your kids in the in the car seats and it's alright and these examples are pretty specific huh somebody wrote to me and told me they had that issue anyway so you you know the chocolates gonna make you fat right so the the praise also it's gonna make you emotionally fat so we try to avoid it but that's for me I want to avoid getting praise but when it's you I'm gonna lavish you with is that the right verb I'm gonna know lavish praise lavish is the adjective I'm going to give you a lot of praise what's the right verb that I want okay and can lavish be a verb I'm gonna lavish you with praise I don't know I think think now but I wanted to say that it sounded sounded right okay but I don't think it's right I'm gonna what I'm gonna smear you with praise that's how we would say and that is one of lavish is okay as a verb okay thank you excellent so I'm gonna lavish you thank you just lift it up so I'm gonna tell you one of the the paradoxes shower you with praise yeah I like that I'm gonna shower you with praise okay I'm not implying that you don't have good hygiene and therefore I'm showering you with praise because that would be a backhanded compliment right ah there's the jokes that I tell for you and there's the jokes that I tell from me okay just remember that people like oh I like the jokes cuz they helped me to stay focused yeah those are the jokes that you like then there's the jokes that are from me to help me stay focused and I'm the only one that thinks they're funny but if it helps me to be able to give the class then that's a price we're all gonna have to pay alright anyways I'm gonna close with this there's a paradox of spirituality which is my bread is gaseous is physicality your bread is really as a spirituality for me for me so for me my bread is materiality your bread is my spirituality now the same exact thing reverse for you your bread for you is your materiality and my bread for you is your spirituality so my praise for me is one thing but your praise for me is the exact opposite it's a wonderful thing you get it alrighty good night