Shaar HaBitachon Lesson 25 with Rabbi Shais Taub

okay we're continuing in Chapter four we've been talking about wealth and about mistakes that people make when pursuing wealth and yesterday we spoke about the three mistakes that many people make when they pursue wealth now we're gonna speak about another mistake so why aren't there for mistakes because the the three mistakes really like three fundamental misconceptions about the nature of wealth now this is like a different type of a mistake this is a mistake like I'm a mistaken intention that a person could have when they pursue wealth in other words what they think they're going to achieve by running after money okay so let's go into the text yes me Bonet Adam kita Shana mr. bloom look nice on mom-in-law hobbies memento allah la avisek oven mimi de autumn well I say slow hem shame then there are types of people who make the effort of acquiring great wealth only for the love of honor and to make a name for themselves in other words it's not the money itself that they want it's the covered that they want and the money is the way to get the covet then my speaker had me men assumed over so that it's never enough for them the wealth is never enough because they never have enough covet you know when you need to be validated in any other way then from the fact that I sham created you it will never be enough the only real validation that anyone can have why you deserve to exist why you deserve to breathe air you know why are you here what justification do you have you know the only valid answer to that is I didn't put myself here he put me here and he knows what he's doing so that's the only vote of confidence that I need and I'm validated but if that's not enough for you and you're seeking other types of validation it's endless it'll never be enough it'll never be enough approval it'll never be enough validation and so for the person who chases after wealth because wealth is his way of getting or he thinks it's that way of getting that validation it'll never hit the spot it'll never do for him what he wanted to do for him he wants it to give him an identity he wants it to give him a reason for living and it just doesn't have that in it so it'll never be able to provide that the zest Siculus mayhem DC bus ha kavod by Elham huzzah Ubah alum haba this intention of theirs is due to their ignorance of what will bring real honor in this world and in the next so they don't know what real covered is all about now where did they get their erroneous misconception I guess that's redundant right erroneous misconception but where do they get their their worldview that they think money will bring honor well remain of a kya tells us a little psychology over here the gatum ahem the cause for this is yeah Masha ryeom mcvade I'm a Haaretz LAN Shia momming Vicky boodle ahem they see how the omaha audits the common folk the ignorant people honor the rich people the HMDA Marsh at slum because the common people crave what the rich people have they envy it the Lim Sheikh Muhammed Lee odham and they're drawn after they're attracted to what the rich people have it's interesting the nether McCoy - one of our favorite commentaries on the traversal of all of us we mentioned quite often he points out a really really just I think superb insight into who nature why do the I'm a hood it's why do the ignorant common folk think rich people are cool you know why is that interesting why do they want to know about rich people why do they want to hang out around rich people so remainder bhai says because they envy what the rich person has but the net aback a dish expands upon this and he says that they hope or they have some type of a fantasy I guess that if they hang around rich people and they are obsequious to rich people and they can get rich people to like them or to notice them then that will lead to them becoming rich they think they're going to become rich through osmosis so because it's a funny chain reaction because urbana bhai is saying there are people who are wealthy and they're obsessed with maintaining their wealth and it constantly expanding their wealth why because they think it'll bring them honor and where did they get this idea that will bring them honor because they see the most ignorant and and unrefined people being impressed with rich people and why are they ignorant unrefined people impress with rich people because these ignorant unrefined people have some type of a weird fantasy in their mind that if they hang out with the rich people or hang around them or or or you know somehow curry their favor and get get some attention from the rich person somehow by osmosis you know they're gonna they're gonna become wealthy too they're gonna be brought into the inner circle there's a there's a story that happened in labovick there was once a guy who was he was for poor guy and he had a vase ed that's to pay off and it was really really weighing heavily on him and he went into simcha strata with like some serious financial burden but he tried to put it out of his mind and he went back office and he when he was dancing anyways at the Huq office somehow I guess he was dancing a lot and and someone else who was dancing a lot and their covers was was the hostage Shmuel garish manga robbery was a big Vernon dot an industrialist he had factories he made a lot of money so he was like it was a rich guy so this poor guy who was struggling with par nos and he went into young turf with all this you know financial strain on him he ended up dancing like him and she will girl I were dancing together they were like you know you know together one on one they were it was a circle around them everyone was watching them and clapping they were dancing together and they danced together for hours so after yump if the guy goes back home I don't know if he lived in Alabama it sure he traveled to Lubavitch for Yom Tov but whenever he gets back home he gets back home and he tells us what it had been trying to go home in there I'm what we're saved our problem solved I'm simcha Schneider who was I dancing with with Shmuel Garin no no less than Schmo garage that's I was dancing which one garage where we got it made we're set so you know obviously his wife is hoping you know she doesn't look the guys under a lot of strain this is the one thing that lifted lifted his spirits so okay fine yeah all right yeah anyways he says it's all taken care of I just I'm gonna go see him in his office tomorrow we're friends were good friends were dancing together so the next day the guy goes to Schmo gravity's office over to the factory whatever it was and he goes to the secretary I have an appointment the woman with the boss with the bottle boss and I'm a good friend of I'm a good friend of his tell him I'm here to see him and so he's sitting in all right you didn't say is I have an appointment to the contrary you know from the story if I study yeah he just shows up he rolls it right he tells the the receptionist whoever it is tell told mr. Grauer I'm here right okay so he's waiting in the lobbies wait in the lobby nothing nothing he's like did you tell him do you tell him I'm here tell him you know I'm his friend from some Castillo tell tell him you think they told him his name whatever the name was will arrive still not coming out do you tell him I'm here no okay the guy is not coming out and then finally at one point vulgar Ari comes out very quickly he just walks very quickly through the lobby like passes right by just walks right through he's going from point A to point B just makes a beeline go straight through the lobby and then he stops and he sees this hostage sitting his Lobby he looks at him a second and he makes recollection like a recognition like who is and he looks looks at it he says Thompson just darkness yet and he walks out of the lobby dancing not here not now and then he walks out of the lobby okay so this guy that was a really long story for such a payoff I hope it was a good payoff at any rate so this guy was under the illusion because he was dancing some crostata with with a rich guy oh now he's now he's got it made okay but that's the way that the ignorant people see things and yeah somebody sent me a private chat the private chats by the way people underutilize the private chats that yeah sometimes your rich friends can help you out so yeah it is yeah yeah yeah anyways if you know if you're a fund raiser then it's maybe it's a little different because then you know how to hobnob it's like you by the way when I go to like the fancy dinners you know like the expensive fundraiser dinners I don't I don't go to them but you know if I'm like brought there to work so I see usually there's a few kinds of people who go to them there are the people who were running the event and usually it's a lot of people who are involved in anybody said who and they're all there because they have to be there because that's their that's their Mason's event then there are the rich people and then there are the fundraisers who want to be seated with the rich people okay so that's probably what this comment is referring to at any rate yeah it's a strategy that's a strategy okay we'll see if we will continue learning I've a syllabus if that's a good strategy if that will if that will help anyways so getting back to the main point the rich guy is obsessed with making more and more and more and more money because he's trying to feed this bottomless pit of wanting validation and where did he get the idea that having wealth would get him validation because he sees these prostitutes who pakiya give a lot of attention to rich people because they're under the illusion that now they're back later says that it's gonna make dem rich okay ve lo he ski low but if they would be smart behave II know and they would understand he aimed a halt pom Vil a bit k hum it's not within the power or the ability lila seis valet li Minaya not to give and not to withhold wealth we're talking about the rich people don't have the power to give or withhold wealth ll ameesha Gaza Leia beta at Salaam accept to one whom the the creator has decreed the wealth should go to lay our you McCallum lazuli say so if they realized that they would not set their hopes on anyone but Russia Vallejo your ROI at Sona carpet they wouldn't find these people fit a fitting honour for worthy of honour Allah accept me she hadou who Hebei turban - Mu Shu Bacchus Roy Babu don look Vera beta a salad they would see only those who think they're the creator is distinguished with outstanding qualities which make that person worthy of the creator's honor then the people would honor that committee should cost of like it says keema hob die haha bathe for those who honor me meaning those who wanna rush em I will honor so really only the people who who are honorable people people who have attained certain character refinement certain mileage now hold on you gonna say what about the the comodo tells us that Rabi you hold on RC used to be macabre to shoot him yeah that's true why was macabre to shoot him why did Robbie give honour to wealthy people because it's a responsibility and when somebody uses that responsibility correctly that's definitely worthy of honor okay but it doesn't mean that intrinsically being wealthy is worthy of honor being being wealthy is not worthy of honor any more than being handsome is worthy of honor or being Paul it's not something that you actually caused you have no control over that it's a it's it's a lottery so why should you be praised for something that you didn't accomplish now becoming a man that's totally praiseworthy because you have control over that in fact that's the only thing you have control over how Kobe dish might include smear to show mine so somebody who's refined someone who's able who's humble who has good me those definitely he's worthy of honor because that's something he had to actually choose to do now a wealthy person who uses his wealth in a humble way in a gracious way in a productive way that's definitely worthy of praise that itself is a great mileage and a great neither but not the wealth itself that's like you know honoring somebody because you know you think they have great hair you know alright pretty shallow omit Nisha sock llama Haaretz Bob Dom valium Amanda sea bass are covered because the common people the craftspeople by honoring the wealthy show their their ignorance let's call it ignorance it's a more polite term hoist of lehem Abeyta see closely sea bass a cachet some so the creator in turn gives them more ignorance you know the expression the rich get richer the poor get poorer it's like the the search engine echo chamber that's why today everything is so polarized you know why it's a polarized today because of clickbait they want to keep you clicking so if you're interested in an ideology YouTube is gonna want to keep you up to 4:00 in the morning watching more and more videos of it so what are they gonna do they're gonna show you more and more extremist versions of the thing you're interested in right so-and-so destroy so-and-so in debate about such-and-such right and I mean I'm not joking that's how people become radicalized that's how they become radicalized so anyways you start and then you start certain then you remember it was really interesting so then you go search for it in Google and now now you're in the loop you know that's it forget about it and now you're stuck in this unending search engine bubble where you're getting increasingly more extremist versions click matey emotionally triggering versions of whatever it is that you were interested in right okay well I got to tell you something in a certain way life is like that already I think the internet just made it more so amplified it but life is like that already because whatever you're looking for is what you're going to see more of I mean this is not the point here but you know we know that people who have faith and they look at things through eyes of faith they find more faith and people who are cynical and they want reasons to doubt that's how they look at things then they find in everything more motivation and affirmation for their doubt well it's kind of what we're saying here is that people are looking at life from a very foolish point of view and they they find more and more foolishness well that's basically what it's saying here the NA flue Bastad Lucy Adela Yugi rabba Kalia Mayim and they fall into a trap or a loop of constant exertion their whole lives just the unending grind hamster wheel can't get off the hamster wheel the nico masha hi-yah hi-yah van leafs tov obey they leave aside that which they're supposed to be toiling for right we said before how Kobe Dishman quits Mira sure mine so what should you be toiling for to become a mensch you have you - mi because then you're actually toiling for something you can control something about it you have you can do something about it but these things that are in hoc will be - am I am that are in God's hands nothing you can do about them so you're running on the hamster wheel and meanwhile not only are they devoting their lives to something that they can't accomplish but they've frittered away all that energy that they could have been using and stuff that they could accomplish anybody who tells me right now you know I want to finish us okay I didn't go to yeshiva I can't I can't read Hebrew I want to finish ah so you know what in today's day and age go buy an art school and go buy stain salts he'd go finish us there's nothing stopping him but somebody says I want to become a millionaire today I'm in a millionaire's middle class anyway so what's what's the point of a millionaire someone says I want to make 10 million 100 million it's a nice thing okay beautiful but who says you're gonna accomplish it if you spend your whole life trying to finish Shas you'll finish shops a few times but if you spend your whole life trying to become a millionaire or make ten million dollars or 100 million dollars or whatever it is or one penny more than whatever hashem decreed you're gonna waste your life you're on the hamster wheel okay all right so they they leave aside that which they should be working on well a mile of muharram clay Vasavada sure i'll ahem and also they leave aside that which they should be pursuing the the duties that hashem has put on them they're not you know they're not worried about that they're not spending their time on that well ahoy there salt a loss of Etzel oh and also offering thanks for his kindness toward them they're not they're not paying attention to that to the contrary they've made themselves feel ungrateful never you know they're frustrated and so they're they're ungrateful the TN Ibaka shame yeh Sakura vase alayhim the debtor has a Blee Suffolk and what happens is the achievement of these desires would have actually been more efficiently accomplished that's ironic if they had focused on the stuff that they've been ignoring and ignore the stuff that they've been focusing on Kamisha Americus of like the tailor says it if human be me know talking about tato that and it's right is length of days we smell or a shiva hobbit and on its left side is wealth and honor meaning he goes after title in the end he gets the wealth and honor okay but he goes after the wealth and the honor doesn't get theta and it doesn't get the wealth and honor the armor well a shiva copied melfin aqua it also says that the riches in the honor come from you come from a show somebody sent me a private chat how does somebody know if it's possible he could become a rich man okay so you're gonna say this is a oversimplified answer but I'm telling you the answer according to a vassal of Elvis here's the answer first of all prioritize your relationship with a chef and put that first okay you get up in the morning first thought should be I mean after meydani your first thought should be what are you doing for Hashem today what are you doing to be a servant okay then second priority is a khlifa partner so which has to be some normal way of making a living it can't be weird it can't be bizarre it can't be a one-in-a-million shot by the way talks about it I mentioned the nightmare difference except the glass emits IRA he says make a budget somehow Cedric says make a budget he actually says figure out how much money you need and then he says figure out what kind of ASIC would make that kind of money he actually says it's a minor to say this but over there he says figure it it could because the clean the data table is very important to have a natural means for this he says figure out how much money you need figure out how much money you want figure out what kind of job would bring in that kind of money and and then Davin and then I mean then go do the thing and then go down and if you're meant to have it and if you have those brothels coming to you then you've created you've provided an adequate cleave for the image to fulfill and then you know if it doesn't work out that you're not meant to have that kind of money and you have to be ready to get the answer the answer may be no now if you tell a sham I want to do children and I want to become a mensch and you say but I tried it and it didn't work try again yeah answer wasn't no the answer was keep trying why because I could be the Sherman it's me you - am I your uterus you're mine you could actually do something about but the guy who said you know I tried to strike it rich and I had a decent plan it wasn't a harebrained scheme and I was doing what I needed to do as far as my realness you know my learning my dominating whatever else and I just never could break past a certain point okay so then just relax and be comfortable with the fact that that wasn't meant for you you were never supposed to break past a certain point you didn't starve to death you didn't die of starvation god forbid the a bee should took care of you okay so you wanted to be wealthy okay so you weren't wealthy you didn't die you didn't die of starvation you survived I mean we have a very very high bar as far as you know what we consider you know making a decent living we're so wealthy our standard of living is so high you know once upon a time people didn't know if their children were gonna eat every day you know when people went out to work the goal of working was that their family should be able to eat this day we never think about whether we're gonna eat today we think about whether we're gonna be able to you know go to Florida for the winter and the Catskills for the summer well if that's your expectation of what you know making it means maybe it's not going to work out but you certainly you know in to try have a normal scheme I should say schemes that implies something funny business but have a normal plan of what could make you a partner so go try it and see and see if you're meant to be super wealthy okay fine