Seriously Souled 10-day journey - Social by Yaffa Palti

[Music] do you know how many people are living in the world today about seven and a half billion out of those seven and a half billion people who are living how many of those do you think are actually alive [Music] good question ray because living doesn't mean you're alive the point of life is not just to exist the goal of life is not just to have a heart that beats anyone can have a heart that beats the goal is to have a heart that sings it's to actually be alive to live intentionally we are approaching the holiday of rosh hashanah we're all familiar with the concept of the book of life right and we all want to be written in the book of life this is what we pray for it is what we hope for what does it mean to be written in the book of life what is life do we just want another year to exist to just go through life barely holding on to wake up to go to sleep and to go to sleep to wake up to work to eat and to eat to work that's the kind of life just mere no what existence praying for is we want the book of life the book of being alive how do we accomplish this so mental and emotional health starts with healthy relationships in fact as humans we are hardwired to create and cultivate relationships in our lives to make connections and there are three categories of connections that we need to be working on in our lives what's the most important connection that we need in life the most important connection well wi-fi but after that the relationship with ourselves with god and with the people around us and these are the relationships that we need to be cultivating in our lives in order to feel content and satisfied and happy and to really reach a level of success in life so let's talk about the pillars of a healthy relationship all right number one be authentic not transparent don't confuse authenticity and transparency we live in a world today that encourages transparency thinking that that is authenticity but it's not because transparency is not healthy authenticity is healthy what's the difference transparency means i need to share everything with everyone all the time otherwise i'm not being real authenticity means i am choosing carefully what i am sharing why i'm sharing it how i'm sharing it with whom i am sharing it and when i choose to share it i am sharing it 100 honestly and 100 authentically which to you sounds like a healthier interaction so the goal is not transparency the goal is authenticity because we have to save the most important parts of ourselves for the people that we're closest with if we just share everything with everyone then what's left for our real relationships what do we have to share with them that they don't already know and that everybody else doesn't already know so we have to ask ourselves those questions when we want to share something what am i sharing why am i sharing it how am i sharing it where am i sharing it with whom am i sharing it am i sharing it to get attention or validation or am i sharing it to connect if it's to connect then it has to be with healthy boundaries okay number two be vulnerable but not as the goal vulnerability is not the goal i know it's super trendy today we put a disclaimer on a vulnerable post by saying it's a vulnerable post to catch people's attention hey guys i'm being vulnerable right now right how healthy is that what's the point of your vulnerability is it just for the sake of being vulnerable because vulnerability is very healthy in a relationship and very necessary in a relationship but it is only a means to an end it's not the goal itself what's the reason behind the vulnerability are you using it to connect with people to get close with people by sharing a part of your or for the validation or attention or to get new followers or whatever it is with people that i don't really know and i don't know if they really care about me this is not going to be a reciprocated relationship so that kind of vulnerability could never fill me up and could never make me feel satisfied the opposite it makes us feel empty and it makes us feel lonely especially when the hype dies down number three be positive and surround yourself with positive people this means in real life choose friends choose a coin that says choose partners choose people in your life that help you expand yourself and help you grow and when you're online follow people read watch listen to things that give off a good positive energy because ain't nobody got time for negativity in life surrounded up with positive people with growth oriented people in fact the torah tells us you have to buy yourself a friend why that terminology of buying because the truth is it's a real investment a true friendship a good friendship a real friendship you have to invest in it in our time in our energy in our choices number four have deep meaningful conversations in your relationships leading to of course deep meaningful relationships don't just speak about casual nothingness all the time a little bit okay but not all the time we know that great minds talk about ideas and average minds talk about events small minds talk about people our goal is greatness we want the real deal make sure that your relationships and make sure that your conversations have depth to them don't sell yourself short you have so much depth within you you're so capable of real relationships of real love of real connection don't sell yourself short and number five communication how to respond to other people how to be proactive instead of reactive because communication is not only about talking sometimes it means not talking and only listening being mindful of others [Music] so thank you so much for listening my name is yaha and i hope that we can work on these things together for this year [Music] you