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Self-editing isn’t a personality trait - it’s a safety response.
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Self-editing isn’t a personality trait - it’s a safety response. And “keeping the peace” is often code for “making myself smaller so nothing bad happens.” When your nervous system learns “being fully seen = risk,” it starts filtering your truth before you even notice. You minimize. You joke. You change the subject. You say “all good.” It looks like maturity - but it’s often self-abandonment. So let me ask you this: What if you stopped editing yourself to be digestible? What if you stood up for yourself - clearly, calmly, and fully? And what would the world look like if we taught our children to do the same - before they ever learned to shrink? @_debramessing
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I didn't I [music] I didn't feel like I
had to advocate for the Jewish people um
until [music] much later until
around 2016 around Charlottesville,
[music]
you know, um Jews will not replace us
with the tiki torches again. [music]
that like I was chilled to the bone and
I was scared and I thought I can't stay
quiet and I had been [music] very
outspoken
um in support of the LGBT community
[music] because I was on Will and Grace
um which you know was the first show
[music] that sort of celebrated uh that
community on prime time television and
so it's very attached [music] to the
community and and the civil civil rights
um and equality and equality in
marriage. [music]
And so, you know, it it wasn't until
2016 that I started speaking out and and
I only realized [music]
after 107
that it was
because I was still hiding.
you know, I [music] I had been
advocating for the LGBT I I advocated
for women to pass the [music] ERRA. I
marched in, you know, for Black Lives
Matter, George Floyd. anytime anything
happened where there [music] was
injustice, which is obviously
foundational for the Jewish people, um,
[music] you know, I was Air.