Self-Care ideas (Spiritual), Coach Menachem, Class# 63

welcome everyone welcome to another Wednesday night the fundamentals to gain inner peace with your host coach monachell we're up to number 63. or Hashem and uh for the recordings the recordings are available monacoburnful.com so you can catch up and come along with us on this journey might be the first time you're hearing about these Wednesday night classes so here we are tonight it's very exciting we have a sponsor so I would like to thank our sponsors tonight's sponsor is okay clarity which many of you have heard it's a Jewish platform that has therapists psychiatrist coaches dietitians um whoever feels if you feel you need some help on this journey to talk to somebody a professional they have the resources you can go check it out on okclarity.com and if you want to sponsor a Wednesday night you can always send me an email from gmail.com first first for uh should have or maybe your niece's birthday party whatever comes up you can send me an email coachmagino.com so the past few weeks we've discussed different areas of self-care and tonight we're gonna go on to a spiritual so it's interesting topic and sometimes 20 minutes might not be enough but we'll do whatever we can so let's get started like we always do let's get grounded take a deep breath and come into the room become aware of where you are physically emotionally mentally how you feel what your day look like and go inwards take a deep breath see how you feel how your body feels any tension any stress take a deep breath let your shoulders fall if you don't have time during the week to do some relaxation techniques at least now at least you can do it now take some time off hopefully it's quiet Where You Are and you can take off this few minutes for yourself any tension take a deep breath and let it all out this is beautiful okay so we discussed physical self-care different ideas exercise sleeping drinking enough whatever your physical body needs we discussed psychological or mental ideas talking to friends setting boundaries knowing what you could do what you can't what works for you and last week we discussed emotional understand why what emotions are and for that you have to listen to a lot of recordings from before what we discuss over here to understand the inner peace that we're looking for a lot of it is that emotional peace why is it so important we all have feelings we all have sometimes stress or whatever it is and if you don't feel it so you might be saying no I don't have it but we all do so you might be shot down and the reason why why would I want to open that up why would I want to feel the emotions because that's the only way we're alive that's the only way we we're living even though sometimes there are negative emotions but you want to be alive not shut down and there's probably a reason why people are shut down you can try to do the work by yourself journaling becoming aware of your feelings stopping and just feeling and if it's too hard to find someone who can help you so that's the emotional and tonight we're going to go into the spiritual self-care so the question is what does spirituality mean how would you define spiritual so the truth is human beings even if you're not religious any human being you can talk to me and you're here as a human our Spiritual Beings and that really it doesn't have to do with religious we as religious Eden our spirituality is based around our religion but to understand what does spirituality mean you can be spiritual even if you're not religious so let's understand what does spiritual mean Dr toersky in his book addictive thinking he discusses spirituality and spiritual emptiness and he discusses over there that sometimes a person feels like he's missing something very hard to pinpoint what it is and many times people get addicted to what could be eating drinking or whatever it is because they want to fill up that hole that they feel they're empty and to understand that sometimes the emptiness can be spiritual feeling so he says almost every human disease can be found by animals but there's very little evidence of an animal developing to develop addictive diseases like overeating drinking they don't find it by animals only by humans so the question is why why do you only find it by humans and not by animals so he says animals only have that physical urge it's more like an instinct they have the urge or desire but humans they crave spiritual fulfillment as well there's another piece that us human beings we need that that spiritual fulfillment so sometimes if you feel something missing like we're discussing over here to find that inner peace and we need to become aware of the spiritual sides if we want to be at peace some self-care for the spiritual side is very important so in general how how would I say how what would you call spiritual in general it refers to a sense of connect connecting to something that's greater than yourself a connection to something that you can't see it's more it's out there it's it's an idea it's something bigger like we know it's you know we're connected to Hashem but it's something that you close your eyes it's not the world that you live in it's not the physical world something deeper something greater firm to understand some ideas is he mentions in the book rabbit worsky to learn from experience is something that Spiritual Beings do if something happens so you could say next time I'll do a difference animals usually don't do that to contemplate the purpose of existence you could think what am I looking for what's this all about that's a that's a spiritual thing to delay gratification you know you're going to wait even though you want to feel good now but you'll wait you can wait 10 minutes 15 minutes to eat or whatever it is you can make that decision so it's really to to sit down and make a decision I don't think animals do that they probably can't stop close their eyes take a deep breath and say let me see what do I want so that is spiritual diving is something you're closing your eyes or it's not closing your eyes you're talking to something out of you you don't even see it and if you're middle of that happening and you realize that you're not thinking what you're saying that's that's another another spiritual act to stop and say wait a second where am I what am I doing and start thinking even though you're in the middle okay let me start focusing now that's a spiritual skill so these are all spiritual ideas um doing facets that's a decision that we make helping others make others feel good even though animals might also make others feel good taking care of their kids but the question is how much of it is it is it a decision and how much of it is it an instinct whatever they do this is what they do so that's a little bit an idea of what we're looking for what's that spiritual science something out of us we can connect to something deeper and the truth is the whole self-care idea the whole inner peace what Wonder World is that you're deciding to see how you feel what do I want what can I do all of that is connecting to something that's not physical it's on the spiritual side so I think I need to mention very important that there are many of us that we do things on on the outside you know without them we learn we do Mrs you can sit in the sucker it matzah we do everything that we need to do which is beautiful however we could still be spiritually disconnected now the question is why is that and how is that possible so I don't know if you realize that I don't talk too much about Hashem you know this is number 63 if you're with us on this journey most of us grew up from and we know Logic the logic that everything that Hashem does is good and we do everything for Hashem so many many of us I don't know you know your backgrounds from where you are but talking about someone like me ffbs grew up with all the ideas great ideas and we have to thank our parents for that Hashem but now to to see where am I am I connected or am I doing it because I want to do it that's a very important piece but especially talking about emotions before we become connected Hashem it's very important to become connected to yourself to know who am I very basic need what do I want what do I feel because if we are missing that piece and we just do and we're human doings after a while we can be missing that that spiritual side even though from the outside doing everything right and it's amazing and it looks beautiful but then you could be walking around saying but there's something missing I don't know what it is I'm doing everything right why do I feel empty why do I feel there's something missing if I'm doing everything right and again it could be the emotional parts physical parts that's why you have to be aware of what do I need and it could be the spiritual part is missing to become aware yes I'm doing everything right but am I connected do I ever close my eyes and talk to Hashem I'm not talking about human Esther many people douche Vanessa three times a day amazing but you're never you're not connected doesn't mean that you're connected so that's the reason why when I'm talking about healing talking about emotions it's first becoming aware of yourself before Hashem and then we can try to figure out to connect Hashem and that takes us to the next piece which we've discussed before um in the past what's your relationship with Hashem when you do sit down and meet Hashem how does that feel so for many people they can have a negative image they could think Hashem doesn't like me that is not happy with me and when you connect Hashem you feel like I don't want to stay there for too long let me just finish this and go on so let me ask you a question how does a person really know what Hashem thinks about him and we've asked that in the past usually you're never going to know but it's usually the way you think about yourself that's how you feel Hashem thinks about you that could be very deep and if you sit down and meet Hashem you can journal and see how you feel what does Hashem think about you and the thoughts that you think about yourself come up and you might not like it so that's why before talking about connecting to Hashem we have to talk about that healing process of connecting to yourself yes you're not perfect I know that yes we make mistakes I know that and you have to realize that too you're human and it's okay and it's possible to love yourself even though you mess up once in a while it's okay even though you want to be in a better place you don't feel like you're in the good place where you are you want to do more you want to be much better and you're not happy with yourself that's okay and slowly with that healing process that we've done in the past to be able to just be in the moment with yourself with whatever comes up you might see some flaws you don't like Nvidia and hold yourself and hug yourself in the moments if a person plans to that can't do that then his relationship with Hashem is going to be a little bit distorted and based on his thoughts so even if I'll come and tell you that let me tell you a secret hashan loves you no matter what even that thing that you're thinking and nobody knows and Hashem doesn't know Hashem still loves you you might not accept it because you'll say yes you don't know me but Hashem knows me and I know myself so I'm not sure for some reason so this is in two minutes to understand the connection of you and Hashem how do I feel when I meet Hashem how do I feel basically usually the way you feel about yourself and if you don't like that situation of standing in front of Hashem of talking to Hashem of connection or feel of being that spiritual being connected whatever it is you need to do the healing first and connect to yourself before you go to Hashem so that's the reason why sometimes on the healing process I don't mention a lot about Hashem because we know already and we might be doing the right thing but now we have to stop and see how do I feel about myself another way to look at how you look at Hashem how you feel about Hashem is sometimes it could be somebody that you look up somebody that you look up to in your life could be parents grandparents maybe a roshishiva that's the image sometimes we get from Hashem somebody who if the roshishiva is a loving person and he he can accept and talk and accept you wherever you are and any level that you are so you look up you say wow it represents you know he represents what Hashem wants so I can see Hashem is probably much bigger but that's the picture I get many people have a negative picture of Hashem maybe he's out there with a stick he's he wants to catch me and now he got me again and he got me again and he's always getting me another negative another negative and you're focusing on the negative and then obviously you don't want to be connected not to yourself and not to the spiritual side but Hashem so it's important to be aware of that um when you want to say something and you decide you know what I won't say it that's a spiritual Act you made a decision so talking about spiritual self-care to take care of yourself spiritually so what are some ideas that we can do that can help us to build up to help us with our self-care on the spiritual side so here are a few ideas number one davening and I would say it doesn't have to be diving a few times a day close your eyes and just pray to something Tasha that's that's a spiritual you know if you need it something something's happening in either physically need help see Hashem please help me that's it you say those words you're connecting and that is we know building up that spiritual side in you that we all need and eventually you know you can do a bashment as right but we have to find those small moments it builds up the spiritual side which we can't fill it up with other things sleeping will help you with your sleep eating will help you when you're hungry but if you have that feeling if you're not aware of what that feeling is it might be a spiritual feeling that you're missing something and you need to start filling yourself up with spiritual ideas to be connected and you might have to start from the beginning from just a word close your eyes make you know even taking care of yourself physically is already taking care of yourself spiritually because you're doing that self-care act a spiritual Act that animals can't do you're human you're taking care of yourself and eventually you connect you connect with Hashem being mindful being in the present moment whether it's taking five minutes off being there for yourself that's a spiritual Act seeing what you need taking walks in nature is another idea you can start seeing the world from a spiritual side and for us Eden we know that Hashem this is what Hashem does and this is what Hashem did look around and slowly the rambam says if you want to see Hashem look at the nature now when I was young I didn't understand the rambam because I used to look at nature and I didn't see hashan interesting I didn't see him but you have to have that you have to slow down and start seeing how things work take a deep breath and say wow this doesn't happen by itself and slowly you start seeing Asha doing has it so you know making the decision you want to help others you want to make others feel good have compassion that's spiritual to be connected to others that's spiritual now again it should be your choice to profess it all day is my take away from self-care your physical self-care or emotional self-care you have to know what you could do and what you can do but doing some active Services helping others does make you feel better and the last one is to start learning learning about these ideas learning spiritual whether it's a safer something easy it could be davening you want to know what davening is all about a few minutes a day look inside you don't have to finish anything but you want to be connected you want to be spiritual spiritually connected to get to fill up that piece you find somebody that talks to you it could be in English a few minutes a day spend a few minutes and you'll feel connected to who you are to what you're doing to Hashem and eventually it builds you can start with very small every day for two minutes read something whatever it is whatever works and last for tonight is the idea that there there is research out there that for those who are connected Spirit spiritually they have less when they have a hard time going through a hard time they can connect to something whether it's saying Hashem please help me and when things work out they feel much better so they they they're likely to experience depression less than others and again it's research I don't know how much but there is the idea that when a person is connected to something outside of himself that means he knows that not everything is up to me I can do Maya startless I can do what I can but then what's gonna happen I don't know and we know that it's abduction and we have the talking so it does help a person to be more relaxed and when things don't work out we could be aware that we don't like it because I would be used to running right away to whatever Hashem does is good and it's true but you're not aware that you're let down that emotional feeling that you don't like if it didn't work out so allow yourself to feel if something didn't work out and breathe and feel it even though you don't like it and then you can say Hashem I know you're in charge this is probably for the good please help me see it or help me get out of it help me figure this out but you're connected to something outside of you so it's a little bit easier but if you're the one who was in charge everything's up to you and whatever you do is only you and when things don't work out you're in trouble and that's where depression can kick in it helps with depression it helps to build a self a sense of meaning and fulfillment to feel what am I doing on this world and it has in generally a better Outlook in life so that sounds very positive I think we're all looking for that so that's the spiritual side and that's it for tonight I hope you'll be able to figure out to understand a little bit of what does spiritual mean because we could only fill it up we understand it to be able to take care of ourselves spiritually spending a few minutes a day with ourselves self-care with on other areas physical emotional that's also spiritual just by taking care of yourself and finding one or two things that helps you connect to your spiritual side whether it's learning a few minutes being connected to requested just taking a walk so that you can fill up that spiritual needs and hopefully with that you can feel a little bit more of that inner peace that we're looking for so thank you very much for joining tonight and thank yourself for being here for taking some time forgiving yourself permission take some time off to take care of yourself on what you need so that you can go on and do what you need to do so that's it for tonight and thank you again for our sponsor okay Clarity it's online and they have therapists there you can connect to them probably on Zoom so wherever you are there's always a way you can connect to people that you're looking for thank you very much have a good night any feedback feedback is welcome coach gmail.com we'll see you next week and hopefully next week we'll continue with the last two of the self-care whether it's um it's at work and we'll go from there thank you and have a good night and have a good week