Saluting Parents Who Show Up Each Day for Struggling Children

where [Music] okay and the Hilton in Miami for Shoppers thank you so you drove this morning beautiful [Music] yeah yeah [Music] okay [Music] there's one source sheet on the Bima yeah one so okay we could begin okay without sugar one thank you okay foreign [Music] thank you [Music] Mazel tovasana I want to wish Mrs Feynman a big mazel tov for his son's wedding it was beautiful to be there she have a lot of couple is happy they looked very happy okay wonderful Mazel Tov huh yeah I thought I was away but I wasn't thank you thank you thank you thank you Miss Moss okay what's her first name Brandy okay I want to welcome Brandy to our class what's the last name okay it's wonderful to have you Brandy thank you for coming and who brought you somebody brought you right okay okay kovaldik and welcome Hindi okay we're graced with very great Souls here in this class and personalities great souls and great personalities yeah so thank you everybody and I want to thank very much higher freshman for dedicating this class together with her husband Elio and Kaya freshman and gratitude and in honor of her birthday Mazel Tov virus and as she wrote in her dedication may all the souls of humanity be healed with the coming of mashiach very soon amen and thank you very much and thank you for coming all the way from Far Rockaway to Grace us with your physical presence not only virtual presence so today we begin of course the month of others the gamara says in tyness the whole month is a month of joy and festivities and the reason is because as the Magilla says the month was a month that was transformed it wasn't just today in the month 14th of other the 15th of other but the entire month is a month of Celebration the reason for that is because hamon focused very much on the month he chose he he cast his laugh lot as gyro is poor to figure out not only which day of the month but also which month so the transformation is not just of the day above of the month and that's why it says it's interesting that your xiaomi says that with the event that if somebody let's say won't have a Magilla on the days of Purim so the but the Avid I mean obviously the priority is to do it on Purim but the fact though one can read the Magilla the entire month of other which is very unique you don't have it with any other months you don't say if you can eat Matson peso you know eat Matsu the last day of Nissan if you can't blow shuffle your fastest but with Purim it's something that extends for the entire month so today I want to focus on one little piece in the story of Purim in the Magilla which is very easy to overlook and miss because the Magilla has 10 chapters the Book of Esther has 10 chapters with many many details and nuances and they all create a mosaic a tapestry of a single story which ultimately saves the Jewish people but sometimes there are these little details and nuances that you can easily Miss but they're somehow a critical part of the story and that's what we're going to discuss today it's one posseck it's in the second chapter of the mcgillicester the 11th verse Esther Esther Patrick bass prosecuted Olive and your Source sheets it's the First Source sheet and by the way we post all the source sheets on the yeshiva.net so if anybody ever wants to review it it's all there it's a PDF there under yeshiva.net and let me just give the context the context everybody remembers probably but just to review it very briefly and concisely is now the Persian king he is the monarch he is a very powerful Monarch one of the great monarchs in the Persian Empire as the Magilla begins his provinces are wide and Broad he rules over 127 regions or what we would call zip codes or provinces Medina Medina cities states country different regions I would say and uh at the third year of his rulership in the third year of his becoming King he decides to throw a grand party but it's not just a party it's not just a weekend it's not even two weeks it's a party that lasts for 187 days talk about throwing a party right if a year has 365 days so basically this party continues for a half a year straight and the the party is quite impressive a lot of drinking a lot of food a lot of fun a lot of entertainment a lot of beauty as the Magilla describes in detail and we know the end of the story though is a strange one where he gets into a major fight with his Queen vashti and ultimately eliminates or executes her and now the king is in a depression because he's lonely he's looking for a wife and this is where his advisors suggest that he should send out delegations he should send out ambassadors emissaries Messengers to be able to fetch and search a whole search Committee created to find the proper Queen for Akash verse and the Magilla really dedicates a lot of space in chapter two to describe the process even though it would not seem so relevant but apparently it's relevant exactly how the girls were taken and found and brought and what was the procedure and how many months they had to prepare and what the preparation was preparation the types of perfumes that were used the type of decorations and the system and when the king would see them and who was in charge on all these girls that were coming and so the story continues Esther who is a obviously a Jewish woman is also taken but Esther is taken to the king and he sees her and ultimately She also asked him appeared to six months and six months ultimately takes a liking to her that Magilla says he really he cherishes her he values her and he decides to betroth her and turn her into the queen of the Persian Empire huh he marries her in the seventh year of his kingdom remember vashti was killed in the third year so for many years he was searching there were girls coming all the time but it's from year three four five six only the seventh year the Magilla says and he throws another huge feast Mr Esther to celebrate his new Queen whom he values and loves so much and he gives a tax discount Etc in this story when Esther is taken and now she's in the palace she's meeting the king he's meeting her she's being prepared to see him constantly the Magilla throws out a possum says as follows the First Source every single day murder would walk and Miss halek means it wasn't just a walking once Miss Allah means he would walk back and forth doesn't say you know he went by Miss Holly like if you go and you go back and you go back and you go back so every single day Mordechai is walking back and forth in front of the khasar the courtyard base sanosham where they had a special Palace or Castle a mansion with the women were stayed where they dormed where they were given their needs those who were who would ultimately go for an interview why did he do this is to know to be aware of the well-being of Esther um and what is happening with her as we know Mordechai was Esther's cousin as the Magilla says Esther was an orphan and Mordechai raised her and took care of her because as the Magilla said she had no father and mother so mother took her in to his home and he raised her so now when she was taken to the king he couldn't stop it but every single day he went to see what is going on now at first glance one would not see this detail as anything essential to the story it's a nice detail I didn't just you know ignore her he raised her and he cared for her and he went every day but it would seem like just okay it's part of the story because it happened but the truth is when you study the mcgillah well you see that every single Nuance of the Magilla is part of a mosaic it's literally part of a puzzle when you have a puzzle if you take out one piece you don't have a puzzle anymore something is missing in the picture it may be a central part of the picture maybe but it's a part of the picture it's a it's a it's a mosaic it's like a symphony you know if you remove certain notes you don't have you don't have the symphony a ballad has a certain amount of notes that creates a song just like in a body a healthy organism has all of its diverse Limbs and organs and together they create what we call the Miracle of Life a body has tens of trillions of cells we have a duct there how many cells do we have in the body you still remember from University somewhere between 50 60 70 trillion cells once you hit that number I don't know the difference between 40 40 trillion 50 trillion I don't know what 50 trillion is but it's it's not no it's it's crazy it's astounding and every cell has its unique functionality in the body right to believe that that just happened randomly by mistake without a designer is a little absurd but in any case each one is part of the story the same is true with history the same is true with the Magilla so when you read the Magilla you would think through a party who cares why is that relevant but you see how ultimately it will become part of a very large web I would say the spiritual ecosystem where every part of the system is essential to the balance and to the functioning of our planet and the same is true in the Magilla so the Magilla emphasizes this point that mardukai went every single day to see how she was it somehow he sent under the story now at first glance it's not because nothing happened as a result it's not like one day when Mordechai was walking there he saw something the story happens independently of him visiting there yes later he's going to get involved in the story when he's going to find out about an assassination attempt and he's going to tell Esther about the assassination attempt of Bixon and sarish Lady he's going to become part of the story because when Esther hears that the Jewish people are going to be exterminated she summons him she sends a message to him I'm sorry but when Mordechai hears that the Jewish people are going to be exterminated he sends a message to Esther and that's when they start communicating about the plan but this point that he went every single day seems like a fine gesture but nothing happens as a result of it so it would almost seem like it is not essential to the story so it would seem but there's a clue and there's always clues that the Tanakh gives in order to be able to decipher the significance and meaning of things even if it's not explicit and that is the word doesn't say every day and day now in English we don't say it every day and Day in Hebrew when you want to say that it was every single day you don't say every single day you say because they like we would say day in and day out Hashem not one day but every single day does it say anywhere else in the Magilla these words twice and the answer is it said once more now we have a rule in the Tanakh it's known as means that when you have Expressions words terms that are employed in two different scenarios or two different stories or two different laws there's a connection between them this is unique to the text of the Tanakh for example if you're reading if you're reading La havdil I don't know you're reading Shakespeare right or you're reading Dickens are you reading Hemingway or rereading Kafka whatever you're reading nobody in their right mind is going to say oh in the first chapter he used the word exhausted and in chapter 33 or in another book he also used that word so that it's a very absurd way of reading a book he used the word for this appropriate words yet the second maishrabino gave the Jewish people 13 methods of how to learn Terror that's called you gimbal Midas Shah Tyra and the dresch's band we say them every morning in the beginning of the Avenue it's basically 13 methods it's methodology the methodology the formulas through which you decipher the meaning of the text of the tamaq the first one is kavakama the second one is called with the in contemporary terms I would Define it as copy paste copy paste means in the olden days when you use a typewriter for those who remember the typewriter Club you remember the typewriter with the ribbons right if I wanted to use the same word that I used in the first chapter I had to retype it but today on our word processes our computers right if you want to use that word what do you have to do or that sentence or that paragraph again copy paste sometimes it's cut paste sometimes it's copy paste it's a different type of editing the concept of Xavier Chava is this when Hashem dictated the terrorism if he used the same word in two different places they're not disconnected it's a copy paste situation so it was copied from here and pasted there which means he wants to show that there is a link and some connection between these two stories or between these two Mitzvahs it's a very fascinating way of learning Eterna this is called zereshava it shows you the Precision not just of the message but the words that are employed that's why the balaturim very often one of the things the bellatorium does in Hamish it's a fascinating thing and this is before he had a concordancia before he had Google before him who lived in the 14th and 15th century balatorium he lived in the 1300s and then the beginning of the 1400s in in Spain and in Germany so he has a safer called balhature and let's say there'll be a word let's say there'll be a word kishura he'll show you where that word is found in the whole Tanakh it may be one place it may be two places and then he'll explain what's the connection between the two like they'll be the word venishma venishma the word venishma in parashas tatsava next week's Parsha I'll show you the word venishment was also found in the Magilla what's the connection what's the big word Vanessa means it was heard you have NASA nishma impartialism and then you have an Ishmael about the king he shows not it's copy paste it's a very fascinating element of learning that exists only within the tanach because you can do it with other books it'll be quite absurd and ludicrous twice one I just pointed out but there's another the next chapter the next chapter the story moves on with has a new Queen and he also appoints a new prime minister the new prime minister is hammer and Haman reaches great prominence and Renown to the point that akashvarish has everyone showing him paying him humage and and demonstrating their their submission and respect and awe and reverence for Hammer besides the one Jew Mardi who refuses and the McGillis says that mardukai refuses to bow down to him so here the story continues Esther Perry they said to murder day in and day out that he should bow down to Haman but he would not obey so now they went to Hamman and they shared with him what's going on they wanted to see who was going to Triumph is it going to be Martin isn't going to be Humma so here you have again the words so we have yeah Mordechai is walking every single day and the second time it says day in day out is that every day they were asking why he does not bow down to Hama this is a clue for the connection between these two things that wouldn't seem connected one is talking about Mordechai visiting Esther every day and one is the fact that every day when Mordechai sees someone he doesn't Bow Down huh so there's an interpretation of this fasemus in Purim tafreshlam of Zion that's 1877. it's your third source he gives perspective number one on the connection between the yum yums more importantly on the meaning why this is part of the story let's just remember the chronological facts party happened in the third year of his kingdom vashti was eliminated four years he's looking for a queen in the seventh year of his kingdom he betrothed as he marries Esther so that's from year three to year seven it took quite a few years Harman was appointed prime minister after that but the decree against the Jewish people only happened in the 12th year of his reign so there were many many years that transpired between the Feast of akashvarish until the decree of Haman it's not like when you read the Magilla it takes 20 minutes or half an hour until it looks like the whole story happened in a half an hour but the story didn't happen in a half an hour the story happened it took longer than a decade took more than 12 years to become a king and then to make a party and then the seventh year Esther becomes the queen and then the 12th year Hamman comes out with the decree and then another year passes until it's all till the Jewish people would have been killed and they saved themselves so you're talking about many many years the party in year three that marriage to Esther in year seven and the decree of Haman to exterminate the Jewish people in year 12. so now let's think about this when it says that Mordechai walked every single day to visit Esther how long did this happen for that it happened for a week that he went every day that it happened for a month that he went every day so let's see what the swasama says foreign of the miracle that happens in other words there are no details in the Magilla that are just part of a history lesson on the Persian Empire without relevance to the story it's interesting to discuss history but if it's in the McGillis Esther it's part of the Purim story if it's part of the Purim story it's part of the miracle story so there's not a detail in the Magilla that if you don't study it well you will not find how it is essential intrinsic or part of the total story it's not like you know once we're talking about the palace let me already throw in some more details you know when you write a novel writers like to give background information discuss the color of uh of what the weather was like that day simply to draw you into the story you know how long her hair was and what color her hair was and what type of eyes she had and what type of mood she had and how tall she was and what type of disposition you're familiar with this genre you don't see this very rarely we don't know what moisturabena looked like we don't know what a ramavino looked like we don't know it would be interesting to know but we don't know what my Shabana looked like you have to think about my should have been only in terms of his his personality his contributions sometimes the Tanakh will identify physical features only when it's part of the story for example of shalom's long hair of shalom's long hair becomes part of the story ultimately it becomes his death sentence Joseph's handsomeness yosef's physical beauty is an important part of the story why the wife of patifa is so so uh drawn to him Etc but any detail is essential somehow to the plot of the story so if someone says if it's part of the Magilla it's part of the Purim story and then here is the question Mordechai walking every day is very nice he got to exercise he got to find out what happens with Esther he took a walk every day it's a great thing but is it part of the story so he says but the truth is this is certainly a very great story think about it already four five years passed from when she was taken um and yet Mordechai went every single day for years to see how Esther is doing because Mordechai it's not that Mordechai went the first week when she was there he went every day young ones as long as she was in the palace went to see went to visit every day now he couldn't necessarily go in it was they were they were they were located in a private place as we would say today quarantined not because of Corona but because of the crown they were dealing with because but he wanted to be in the vicinity when you're in the vicinity you could sometimes take a peek you hear you see the atmosphere you get conversations with people you know he must have built some connections over there so what the what the fasemus says what the McGill is telling us is if Esther became a king when was in the seventh year of his Reign the decree of Haman only happened in year 12. so you're talking about seven eight nine ten eleven twelve it could be anywhere we don't know the exact dates but it could be four years five years six years that Mordechai goes every single day to see how Esther is doing and you could see the way the hazard explained this possible and in Rashi that this was not just in the beginning it continued throughout her Reign now here is the question I can understand when Esther was taken there was dread there was Panic there was anxiety there was concern and Mordechai who felt so responsible for Esther goes to look after her that's very normal but afterwards she became the queen afterwards she became the queen even later before that obviously was extremely pleased with her her life wasn't in danger she was the mcgilla says whatever she wanted she was given she was given special food she was given special treatment because the King was crazy about him so I can understand the first week Mordechai was worried but afterwards it was four years until she became a queen he says maybe four years five years could be even afterwards he went it seems like from the madrasium that he went even afterwards so every day her life is not life is not the king loves her he's crazy about her he's still going to choose her as a queen that's why he says four or five years because he's talking about from when she was taken again she was taken before she was chosen as Queen and he started to search in the third year so he says it's not true he went four years or five years until she became a queen and if she could if you continued afterwards and may have been more years so if this is the case if this is the case the Fatima says let's think about this Slim every single day he went to see her shall can I just trouble somebody for a hummus for the blue homage I just want to look up the Posse in the back over there on the bottom there's a blue hummus your mind uh none of the mcgillah the one on the bottom there's a bluchemish okay I'll get it thank you so much [Music] foreign so the Magilla says clearly that Esther was taken to akashvarish in the month of tevisa in the seventh year of his Reign so they were searching for girls all these years from year three finally in the year seven she was taken and she obviously bring the liking to her and then finally [Music] finally he decided to put the crown on her and he made a big feast and she became the queen so now he's continuing to go there every single day swasama says for four or five years it could even be for longer because I told you the decree happens in the year 12. so now let's think about this in the beginning I understand the first week he's anxious he's worried afterwards she's loved by the king she becomes the most powerful lady in the Persian Empire what we call today the First Lady so you would think why does Mordechai need to go every single day walk back and forth not even going in it's not like he's going to have tea he's going to have a schmooz he's going to spend time she was where she was and they were very very serious protocols where you can go when you can go how you can go even though Mordecai was a prominent person nonetheless for years he goes and the mcgillah says I mean seven days a week doesn't say most of the days you could say every day which means every single day Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday shoppers now you might say he wants to know how she's doing yeah he cared about her but now let's think about something else mardekai was the leader of the Sanhedrin was considered the body of spiritual leadership of the Jewish people that already began in the days of Maisha Maisha appointed 70 Partners seven the elders scan them together with him it was 71 and this became the body of the son hadn't the Jewish Supreme Court so to speak responsible for the spiritual and physical welfare of the Jewish people and this went on for Generations throughout the years in the desert and then a narrative Israel every generation there was a Sanhedrin and they were literally the most important body representing all of Claudia every major dispute every major debate the most complicated situations etc etc mardikai in his generation was the leader of the Sanhedrin which essentially means he was the god of he was the leader of the spiritual leader of the generation as I'll say clearly he was the greatest teacher of the time because he was the head of the Sunday used to appoint the head of his son was like my shirabeno he was like they represented known as the Nasi was like why should have been so you understand that this is a person who was busy who was occupied who was busy with the concerns of his people Esther is safe a week past a month passed two months past you could send this you call it one of the baham of the Yeshiva one of the guys who anyway has a hard time sitting a whole day at the table yeah you have a few of those yeah you can go once a week or once a month no Mordechai did not send Ashley because himself for seven days you could think a person who has the Jewish World on his shoulders Hashem is safe not only is he safe she's the most powerful lady in the entire Empire nobody's touching her the king himself is completely in awe of her as the Magilla says at some point you could send an emissary he did not for years years he woes every single day says why she was an orphan well but and he knew the pain that Esther has of being in the home of who was not only not Jewish he was the Persian king he was very very far cry from what Esther imagined for her life and her trajectory and now she's stuck over there even though she's given all this honor but this does not what not something that she chose Mordechai felt this and he knew that he needs to show up every day to give Esther a message I'm here I'm thinking about you if I could get a glimpse of you I'll get a glimpse of you I want to see what's happening I want to know what you're doing what's going on he says and because of this the whole miracle happened because of this so this verse in the chapter 2 of Esther is not an incidental verse by the way marduka used to go there every day says this verse is a key to the story why did Mordechai have the privilege to become a conduit for such a stupendous Miracle to save the entire Jewish people it's because for seven days a week for four years or five years or six years from when Esther was taken all the way until he was appointed the prime minister of Persia instead of Haman which was later after the Purim story happened and mardukai was already brought into the palace but for four or five or six years depends how you calculated years Mordechai himself went every single day not necessarily even to help what can he help she's the queen of the Persian Empire what is it going to do he's going to bring her kugul he's going to bring your troll into he's going to cook Kasha for what is he going to do for her whatever she needed she got in the palace simply as the past success to show up show up to know what's happening with Esther to know what is going on with her and this was this is this was the privilege that caused the entire Miracle because so this little Posse which doesn't seem significant in the whole story because it's not part of the plot he says this is the story because Mordechai had this type of commitment and generosity of spirit and courage and and love and sensitivity and empathy even though every excuse in the world could have prevented him from doing it but he didn't stop and he didn't even send an emissary this is why he could become a conduit for such a miracle now when we think about these words explains the Magilla it obviously has a very very profound and relevant message because sometimes you may know of a person maybe your own child maybe somebody else's child maybe a friend may even be yourself here's Esther a wonderful young woman and she's trapped on many levels she has a very good life that other people would be jealous of but from her own perspective she's trapped in the house so sometimes a person thinks what's the benefit of showing up for this person day in and day out day I'm not changing anything they are where they are they are who they are fine give a call once a month you want to come visit come once a year come once in six months you have to understand the circumstance not like you have nothing else to do for nothing with your life okay so you do this as I told you Mordechai was the busiest person of the generation and many people would have been honored to be in slooking to be his Emissary to do it so sometimes a person thinks a child has a challenge may be trapped in the house of whatever that looks like physically emotionally psychologically spiritually trapped in certain challenges trapped in a depression trapped in addiction trapped in anxiety trapped in various broken components internally or externally where a person may be and this was not mordechai's biological child Mordechai took responsibility for us a person could sometimes think what's the benefit of showing up for one person who's in a particular situation a difficult situation it's not like I can go and take them out day in and day out seven days a week and you also need some time to breathe seven days a week he goes and yet [Music] this possock the Magilla says in many ways is the core of the whole story was he was the person who said I'm going to show up every single day there was the zeid of the swasam as the first guy remember so he once said nobody ever won an argument over me he says one man once what happened he says a youth came over to him and he said I need to speak to you I really don't have time if it's a fast thing fight he said no I need a I need I need was one of the biggest rabbits in Poland and he had a lot a lot of stones he had a lot on his plate a lot on his head so he said now is not a good time so David looks at him and he says 20 years I found time to take care he had a daughter who was very sick this man 20 years I'm taking care of her and you can't have a few minutes for me [Music] this Jew so to speak defeated him because he was telling him something very profound you know we have all seen situations some of you know this firsthand there may be even more than firsthand so to speak you have mothers or you have fathers who show up for their children who are in difficult situations day in and day out they don't always know what's going to be and it's very easy to get derailed to get discouraged to say you know every day I'm going to show up with food every day I'm going to show up with a love every day I'm going to show up with a telephone call every day I'm going to show up with a card every day I'm going to be in good spirits it's already going on for years and years Let It Go because you don't always see the results you don't always see the consequences and it becomes very very frustrated sometimes there are children teenagers or different ages that are struggling and a person says you know fine I'll take you out we'll go on a vacation for a few days let's fix the problem and that's it but sometimes you're dealing with things that are very very deep you're dealing with traumas that are profound you're dealing with pain that is profound Mordechai teaches the consistency that every day who showed up and he told Esther you're not alone not only did it change everything for Esther but the whole story happened because of that because of that he could be a conduit to save the whole world so people they often get discouraged I just want to see the results and let's move on with life and come on get out of your room snap out of this meshagas become a normal person be productive I'm up five in the morning you should be up five in the morning okay we'll hike in takiat park 6 30 you could be already making breakfast go to sleep early and have abnormal productive life oh and yes everybody wishes that and ourselves and on others what Mordechai teaches is a specific paradigm and that is he didn't know what's going to happen how is he going to know what's going to happen she was taken he didn't know this is before remember this is before there was any Purim drama we're reading it in the Magilla we already know you know it's going to end up with hamantashan and a big party but when he's walking every day to the Palace what is he walking towards nothing a girl that's by the king and he shows up there's no there's no drama here there's no Fanfare nobody's honoring him nobody's panning him on his back nobody is rewarding him there's no convention to celebrate him to give him a plaque wow you're such a nice guy he just knows what Esther needs more than anything else is attachment she needs to know that somebody's thinking about her even if he can't go in obviously if he did it for five years I'm sure she figured it out sometimes sometimes you reach out to a child to a student to a friend they're not capable of receiving the love I don't want I'm not in the mood I'm not interested in you it's very easy to get turned off you say what you're not in the mood I'm also not in the mood I'm much less in the mood trust me shuffler what happens is we get lured in to the Brokenness instead of remaining in a position of firm leadership responsibility and love it's a very normal thing but do you see here for Mordechai sometimes spiritually emotional a person is not even capable of receiving anything they come into the kitchen and all you want to do is give them a Misha Barak and not a nice mishabara you want for me to be able to cultivate my highest angels and smile and welcome the person when the response may be something far far less than I would love last time I bought something it was rejected and thrown in my face how much can a person deal with this so some people shut down very fast and it's a normal response what Mordechai taught here is what real attachment looks like what real leadership looks like not that it's not painful it may be very painful but the person who understands what Brokenness is said what she needs more than anything else is to know somebody cares because one day that's going to be internalized now in Esther's case obviously she was not emotionally estranged from she cherished and the gamart is even an opinion that they were married to each other and that marriage had to experience the rupture because she was taking there's nothing more than I can do about it but the lesson from this is in all cases where somebody's trapped even in a big callous and a big passo black castle and a big Palace and it may be very tempting and luring mardukai doesn't even send Emissary surpass them the head of the Sanhedrin to go every single day for one girl who's trapped not send anybody else Shabbos and Sunday and Tuesday and yum Tiff in the middle of the days I would say even Purim but this was before Purim but because of this there was put in but even I'm poor what would become Purim mardikai found time why so that Esther knows somebody cares so when you're doing this for somebody when you're doing this for somebody and sometimes you got to do it for yourself too you got to check in every day how you're doing you're doing this for a child for a student for a friend for a relative for a neighbor of whatever age and whatever gender whatever situation and circumstances this this Posse in the Magilla is really the core of the story that's why the whole world was changed that's why the whole miracle happened don't underestimate this it's easy it's easy again to become very annoyed and depleted before is a sheer I did it a month I did it two months I did it three months no reciprocity but that's understandable but it comes from a lack of understanding when a person is trapped they're trapped Esther couldn't reciprocate at the moment she couldn't held on to her emotionally speaking sometimes people are held down by certain situations I would love to emancipate myself I don't even know how to but just because I'm not free it doesn't mean you should not be free just because I am downtrodden and wretched it doesn't mean you have to become wretched so this takes a vision of deep deep expansiveness to understand who Esther is what she needs now the Yum Yum now becomes clear um continues they told Mordechai every day why are you driving Harmon crazy because every day he went to the Palace because he didn't miss a day he was that he got Harmon angry every single day which was the beginning of haman's defeat by the high not bowing down to Homan that is what triggered haman's animasity that's why he wanted to destroy the Jewish people and that's what brought out his evil and that's why he was defeated why was martyr every day to make Haman sugar in other words to defeat the evil of Amman because he went every day to the Palace are not random copy paste this is Xavier Shava because he went to the Palace so something else happened on a different realm in a different neighborhood in a different hour but also because what else happened Mordechai had something going on every single day he went to visit every day Esther and every single day Haman was made to feel a little smaller because of Mordechai to the point that this Grand anti-semite was ultimately defeated why was Hezekiah for this every day haman's ego was deflated more and more so every day they would tell him no maybe today you can appease someone maybe today you can appease the crocodile appeasement Churchill said is feeding the crocodile in the hope that he'll eat you last eat you he'll eat you the question is when I'm not in the business of appeasement so why did he manage to do this to be able to defeat Haman from something of a completely different story because yum Yumi had the courage and the love and the affection to be able to be there for that lonely Jewish girl who was an orphan and who was now trapped in the home and had nobody had no father and no mother and no support and this person was there now you would think you would think stop [Music] it's it's a nice thing look at the last posseck of the Magilla when you look at the last possock of the Magilla how does it end the gemara says everything follows the end what's the end the last Posse in the Magilla gives somewhat of uh I'm not going to say a eulogy but somewhat of a goodbye farewell to mardikai our hero and it says a lot of people don't concentrate at this poster because it's after a fast tiny sister and they're hungry I'm alive but this is a very powerful person was the second in commanders this is already after the victory against Harmon mardukai was appointed prime minister this is years later he's the now the second in command he's a Godly he's great among the Jews he's accepted by most of his brothers there's always a few people who don't like you the evanesville writes there's always a few people who are not going to like you you could save the Jewish people but there's always going to be a nishta who says they make with their nose I don't know how you say it in English they have an expression in English huh snub your nose and you this shit's better if I climbed in US foreign he inquired he searched for the welfare of his people and he spoke peacefully to all of his children now let's think about this this is the extolling the virtue of Mardi what was his greatness so I understand he was the Prime Minister of Persia that's a pretty big accomplishment for a Jew Mordechai becomes a prime minister I remember when Joe Lieberman the senator of Connecticut was running remember on the ticket of Al Gore Al Gore wanted to be president and Joe Lieberman Joseph Lieberman would be the vice president and it was a very interesting phenomenon because if it would have worked out it would have been the first Jewish vice president in the history of the United States of America and as usual some Jews were very proud and some Jews were against it as always so uh the anecdote goes that Al Gore lost and Joe Lieberman lost and that night Joe Lieberman came home to his wife Hadassah her name is Hadassah and she greeted him at the door and she said don't worry Joe don't be dejected in this home you will always be vice president foreign I I was once in Miami I was at a lecture there by yohudi conference and I needed to get a plane back and my taxi didn't show up and I was a little late because the lecture was went late I had to rush to the airport and suddenly I see uh Senator Joe and adasa Lieberman on the street and they have a driver so even though maybe it wasn't the right thing I went over to them and I said you were going to the airport they were going so I said can I uh as they say can I get a trump Gesundheit so in the car I turned tadasa Lieberman and I said you know I've been saying this joke for years about you and I don't know if it's true or not so can I verify it's a great story but I want to verify if it happened or it didn't happen so she said what's the story so I told her and her husband the story so she said it's a good story whatever that means but in any case why am I talking about oh so mardukai becomes the prime minister of Egypt he's a Godly among the Jewish people that's pretty powerful most Jews like him you know what not bad most Jews like him I'm good I like him too Doris tovlama he dedicates his life to bring out the good and his people to to do anything good for this people but that's not the end what's the summation the last words he could speak peacefully shalom means peacefully and some words wholesomeness to all of his children so they have an Ezra writes over there he says sometimes people who are very big and prominent for the world there are celebrities and heroes but their own children feel alienated from them the greatness of Mordechai was he was the Prime Minister of Persia that was the Empire of the time he was he just saved the whole nation but the Magilla says now let me tell you the greatest thing the greatest thing was that all of his children all of his descendants felt close to him they felt a peacefulness in his presence they felt accepted and embraced by him they were at peace when they saw him he was at peace when he saw them and it says all of his children sometimes you have children who give you what we call Easy nachas they come into the room and mommy is glowing tati is glowing valedictorian Puma mcgear said the report cards are glowing the shutdown are knocking down the doors already for seven years from the brist already knocking on the door you like my humor Hindi but then you have sometimes it's a little more complicated you have that child looks like ended up in Australia's domain the power of mordechers there was a sense of Peace of Oneness connection of attachment with every single one of his descendants and that becomes the summation of the whole megillah you would think on asking who was world renowned such a world how does he have time for his children he's not parochial he's not even local he's in the palace he has to run the country he has to make sure another woman doesn't come to the Sea comes the Magilla and says I'll tell you all the great things about Martin now I'll tell you the greatest thing about martikai he didn't forget his children all of them comes the madrish and puts these two things together if you see second to the last Source Esther this is the courtyard of the home with a women's State and this madrish is the source of this and when it says Hashem tells doesn't necessarily mean there was a voice from heaven that speaks to Mordechai one day it means that there was an inner Consciousness that Mordechai appreciated that came from Hashem Hashem says you were busy seeking the welfare of one Soul Esther Esther an anonymous Jewish girl Affinity a beautiful girl a wonderful person one so and one Soul was taken and air you gave your life to look out for this one song I swear to you um at the end you're going to be looking out and guaranteeing the welfare of an entire nation so you would think it's just a segula connection you walked out for one person I'm giving you a scar not as Gula it's essentially connected because the value of a nation is that it's made up of individuals and if I couldn't care less about an Esther so then with more numbers there's just more attention more Paparazzi more WhatsApp more whatsapps but essentially if you care about Esther this means you're capable of tuning in to the value of a soul which is infinite so consequentially you're the one who's going to ensure the welfare of an entire nation it's fascinating because we see the same thing with moisture albino the story of him shepherding the Flack and one goat ran away and he picked up that goat and the story of David hamelik the way he chilled and both of them became Timeless leaders of the Jewish people that changed the trajectory of our people Merchant turned us into a nation and David turned us into a United Nation and now after the destruction of the base who saved the Jewish people so you have here the concept and a a a very profound salute and I'm going to use this opportunity to salute all those mothers sitting here or listening or who listen and fathers and mothers mothers fathers and other individuals who who who their consistency to be there with people loved ones or other people that come into their their sphere of influence consistently and only you know and Only Heaven knows what that takes out of you because it's the consistency day in day out because and it's not like I'm showing up and somebody's giving me medals and it's not like I'm showing up and I'm seeing tremendous success and it's not like I'm showing up and I'm changing the world and I'm saving the situation I'm showing up with a smile I'm showing up with a roll of sushi I'm showing up with uh iced coffee I'm showing up with a milkshake I'm showing up with a piece of cheesecake I'm showing off with some unhealthy lotion and cheese or lasagna I'm showing up with a smile with with a poem with love with gesture I came back from a store and I was thinking about you here's some chocolate that I picked up I'm showing up with my best and most loving self to tell you you're not alone and our relationship is unconditional and I believe in you even at moments when you don't believe in yourself and the people who do this and do this day in day out know very well what it takes out of them because it's not rewarded immediately and not even in the same year old ways and sometimes not even in the same five years and sometimes not even in the same decade although we always want to try to hasten things up but as some things are out of our control and this is the value of this that the medrish and this fasamas are showing how this one possible is capturing a major theme in the middle that you can easily Miss morduka is a hero he's brilliant he's wise he's courageous that's all true he's Fearless he leads the world him and Esther you know Power Team they take down a Hitler gavaldik it's all true but there's that one little detail of who Mordechai really was Mordechai was a person who walked every day and remember he didn't have a car he didn't have a chauffeur I don't know if he went on a donkey or he went on a camel he went on a horse means he walked every single day why not the Savory couldn't to show up I'm here and you know you're in the kitchen and you may have a daughter struggling or a son struggling or a nephew or a niece or a student or a friend and they come in and they come in and the dress is not perfect and they're coming from many many hours of sleep and a part of you or part of me you know you want to implode or explode which is all normal it's all understanding you know my Reptilian Brain is triggered by your Reptilian Brain you're trying to survive and I'm also trying to survive and that ability to be able to have that expansiveness of murder not by eliminating the other parts of your personality feeling it having compassion for it breathing into it but then saying and now it's important to ask myself what do I really really want do I want to connect more to this person or do I want to say something that will ultimately create a rupture in our relationship and that ability at that moment to show up I want to know how you want I want you to feel that I want to know how you are without agendas without any agendas and without figuring out and games and tricks some of us are good at until your kids teach you it doesn't work it could be undervalued and underestimated this pasta gives us the kayak and says mardikai did it and because of that he could defeat Haman because of that God said you did it to this person you're the right person to do it to an entire nation it's in those lonely visits because I promise you when he did this five years five years straight he didn't know there's going to be a share about this in the year 2023. he didn't know he didn't know anything how would he know Esther was trapped it was a tragic story he had a a girl or even a wife and she was taken how are you supposed to feel he went he showed up he didn't know what's going to happen but because of that look God knew what's going to happen it got recorded in the Magilla and the mission of the Magilla says Hashem says you're the one who's going to be able to save a whole nation when you save a whole nation your children are going to be at peace with you we've all seen in history and we see it today sometimes people who are famous and big it's very nice for the world but their children suffer their children don't feel that connection and sometimes people especially in the name of their own insecurities they ride on the status of the respect you get from everybody else and it compensates for the lack of a relationship with family and it really it destroys destroys people in a very deep way that was the greatest compliment of Mordechai he became the greatest Jewish every one of us children ah they felt that closeness they felt that peace how did he manage to do it because he didn't start off as Martin he started off going every day to the Palace to think about Esther and here the medrish gives us one final detail which really completes the picture if you look at the last Source it says Esther above sixth chapter of membership and Esther and Rashi also quotes says there was something else going on um how is it possible that this sadakis he knew us he raised this girl she was an orphan she was in his house how is it possible that this sadaka should get married to an oral anara literally means somebody uncircumcised but essentially it's a metaphor for how is Esther supposed to end up with something bizarre here like this is God's humor Ella said Mordechai had not knowledge but of what you call premonition what is it called the intuition intuitive in Germany in German there's a word that's called Spitz and finger gefil you know which spits and finger Phil means a sixth sense it's a feeling that the edge the edge of your nail spits and finger he had he had an intuition of Sixth Sense Esther was at sadakis how in the world from all the women had to like her instead of building a Jewish Family like she wanted this is where she ends up mardukai knew there's a story Beyond him there's a different story that he can't figure out doesn't have to wrap his brain around it something big is going to happen and Esther's position is going to prove to be the key factor so Mordechai walking there every day he couldn't predict it he couldn't orchestrate it he couldn't imagine it he's supposed to know what was going to do you think Jews in 1931 could imagine what Hitler is going to do who can imagine you know hindsight is 20 20. foresight is sometimes zero zero I just made that up but it's true it's good yeah you know you could see life from the back not from the front from the back you could look at it so why the heck couldn't predict but every day he went there to visit to see what's happening he was present he knew I don't know the whole story but there's sometimes a story completely Beyond you what do you do you don't have to guess you don't have to understand show up be there be there we don't know why it happened we don't know why Esther was taken it was a tragedy we don't know how it's going to work out but he understood there's some meaning here beyond what I have to wrap my brain around like he tells Esther later I once again means not I don't know who knows some things are Beyond us that's why we celebrate Purim you don't have to know if you want to figure out everything about your life everything about your child's life everything about your marriage everything about your past trust me you use Das it's sometimes a very poor instrument through which to figure these great things out but what did I do he didn't run away he didn't Retreat he said so let me be present and patient and consistent and loving and indeed his presence there allowed him ultimately to hear what Vixen and Sarah had in Plato assassin ultimately at the right moment Esther could send them a message because he was hanging out there and he could start the process more like I could send Esther a message and she could send them back a message I want to share a story with you I want to conclude the class with this story the story happened you know history history books have recorded much not all but much of what happened in the Holocaust and the results of the German war against the Jewish people and against the world that began in 1939 what's much less known as the tragic fate of Russian jury even though Stalin killed more people than Hitler but because of the magnitude of Hitler's actions and the systematic genocide that so to speak took front page of the news and Stalin's atrocities and what generally happened in Russia is much much less known the suffering of the Jewish people in Russia before the world war and after the world went during the World War there was a Jew living in babrusk babrosk is a city in what they used to call White Russia Vice rusland Belarus why is it called White Russia you know you don't know wow okay [Music] you don't have to know but do your homework why is it called White Russia why Vice today it's Belarus it used to be called Vice Ruslan White Russian my Bryce was a very famous Jewish Community prominent leaders there was great Jews in Barbados like all of Jews of Belarus most of them were decimated and murdered by the Germans during the second World War this Drew lived in babrest his name was the margolin as the second world war broke out and in June 1941 Hitler invaded the Soviet Union and his Blitzkrieg astounded unexpected because he had a peace treaty Russia and Germany had a peace treaty known as the molotov rib Accords the foreign minister of Russia and Germany made a peace treaty they split a pollen between them and Stalin did not expect in June 41 for Hitler to invade the Soviet Union Russian casualties exceeded any other country because of the success of Germany initially in Russia and like many citizens was drafted into the Russian army most people who were drafted the Russian army second world war never returned the casualties of the Russian army the millions and millions and millions crazy numbers he left a wife her name was nakama nakama margolin and she had three children she had a baby boy Mama's a baby and two daughters were around nine or ten years old one daughter was named the older daughter was Minna and the younger daughter was toiva toiba Minato and a small baby a child of a male ingala a boy the Germans were invading Belarus she realized that they will not survive here you know the Jews debated because in the first world war the Germans were nice many of the Germans were nice so the many Jews thought they'll stay they'll have it better under the Germans and under the Russians but she realized that she won't survive so she decided to escape like many Jews to Uzbekistan Uzbekistan was safe the Germans did not reach there to the city of Tashkent Tashkent had a larger Jewish Community was more concentrated but it was a long journey so she took her three children her husband was drafted to the Army she didn't know where he was minatova and the baby boy and they started the journey to Uzbekistan the hunger at that time in Russia was devastating people were dying from Hunger day in and day out yum yum there was such a shortage of food and indeed nakama too had very very little food and in this long journey she had barely morsels of bread and most of them she gave to her children so they would survive until one night she couldn't bear the hunger anymore and she went into a faint and she died from starvish this was on the way to on the way to Tashkent on the way to Uzbekistan so they had two little girls with a little baby boy to fend for themselves the oldest midnight I think was 10 years old a little another girl Tova and and a baby boy and after a few weeks the baby boy didn't survive either he also died so these two girls buried their mother and then they buried their brother and you know talk about being alone in the world and this is all in 1941 42. so they're alone so there was some good people you know Russian Gentiles who met them and saw what's going on and they put them in an orphanage there was what they call today segment orphanage that was run by the by the Soviet government it was 600 kilometers from Tashkent that's around 300 400 miles from Tashkent where there was a Jewish Community understand how far that is that's where they put them because there was an orphanage that was available and these two poor girls were growing up but at least they had a bed and they had food they could survive and they spent there all the years of the war until the end of the war which was 1945. the second world war came to an end and hear these girls are in this orphanage literally alone and the war is over so the leader the woman who ran the orphanage came over to them and said now the war is over so whoever has any family we're getting in touch with family and they're going back to family do you have any family she said you know our story our father is gone he was in the war our mother died our brother died we don't have anybody we're the only ones so he said is there maybe an uncle an aunt a cousin a grandparent they said we have but we we're going to find them so the the woman says do you have any recollection of an address an address a home address of anybody who may be related to you or any Jew who might be interested in you and they're thinking an address where they're supposed to have an address from and so she says listen don't worry if you don't find anybody you'll just stay here you'll stay here until you're you know till you're adults and you'll make a life for yourself Mena knew very well that means complete disconnection from the Jewish people for eternity for her and her sister so she's trying to Rack her brain does she know an address of any person and then she remembers something that happened when she was a little girl they grew up in barbarous they had a farm the farms in Belarus produced good chickens and good geese and good turkeys now some of you still do this some of you remember it from your mother and grandmother they did not use oil on pesach what did they use Schmaltz and how do you make Schmaltz from the fat yeah from the fat of the chicken or the geese of the turkeys Baba gribinous better than macaroons much better how do you compare people don't know what they're missing ah your fleshoek yeah that's the point of pesach to be flaccia no ice cream no pizza we all lose weight they produ their Farm had such good uh geese that their mother would make Schmaltz every year before pesach and send it to her sister she had a sister living in Leningrad Leningrad is Russia proper Russia the capital Petersburg became Leningrad it was the capital for many years till it went to Moscow and her sister drazer name was Raskin I knew her husband his name was Joseph Raskin they lived in Leningrad and she would send Schmaltz to Lenny grabs her his sister would be able to have a gishmaker base how do you send Schmaltz from Lenny Grant her mother would wrap up the schmalts and diapers and then you'll forgive me she took the diapers and put it into a wooden box sealed the box and sent them on the ground one day she was sending the Schmaltz to Lenny Grant so they went to the post office and there was a lot Lara Schmaltz from the whole pesach for her and other families so her mother asked her Mina if she could come with her to the post office schlepping the Schmaltz he said of course so they went to the post office and the man of the post office takes it and he says this schmalt is going to leak it's going to leak from the wooden box I am not sending this to Leningrad and the mother says it's not leaking it's sealed it's fine and it'll be a little wet no we don't send such a thing you need to go and get money more diapers to wrap up the schmaltzer doesn't leak and they got into an argument the mother was very frustrated and annoyed it was a long walk it wasn't easy there was this is before Amazon I don't know why they didn't call Amazon but apparently there was no Amazon in the 1930s to send your Schmaltz from Belarus to LA negrath to schlep it all back home was impossible so the mother looked at Mina and said you know what you stay here watch the Schmaltz it was a precious commodity I'll go home I'll walk home fast I'll get more diapers I'll come back and we'll wrap it again so Minna had to stay two hours in the post office waiting for mommy to come back now what do you do for two hours yeah remember the kids didn't have phones at the time for two hours we know today what people would do for two hours they would watch my Clips but then or a class on double speed and then you would finish after two hours maybe triple speed but then you were to sit and you had to actually be present so Minna said what did I do for two hours I was steering at the box of smaltz what did the Box have on it the address of Dre zaraskin and lenigrad for two hours all she was steering was an address and she said I remember the address and she told the woman running the orphanage the address [Music] so she sent the letter to this address to her aunt her mother's Sister dreza nakama's Sister and saying you have two nieces they don't have anybody maybe you want to pick them up and raise them but the raskins already moved to another city to another house they weren't living there anymore so when the letter came it took a long time for it to come when it came there was nobody to receive it one day they had a son who you know when you move houses sometimes you don't remember and you go back to the old house whatever happened to you I remember when I moved to Muncie from one house to another house for a few weeks I was going to the old house and then I walked in on somebody else's family so I learned my I learned my lesson but uh I almost walked in but uh yeah like Hadassah Hadassah Lieberman a son a son of the Rascals Elena grad he forgot one day that they moved so he went off on the train station near his old house so he's walking by his old house and he realizes this is not but then he says you know what let me check in the mailbox maybe there's mail they moved three months earlier so maybe there's mail no nobody was expecting some exciting mail but you never know so he goes he takes out the mail and he sees a letter addressed to the raskins and Lenny grad from an orphanage 600 kilometers from Tashkent somewhere deep in Russia you know Russia never ends right Russia is a continent that ends and that's why nobody could defeat Russia it's impossible Napoleon Hitler they always they always have weirdo withdraw to he brings home this letter and he shows it to his parents I say that's it we're going and he was sent to the orphanage and he picked up these two girls and they were reunited with their uncle and Aunt and later they escaped Russia and they moved with them this was a Chabad family and Tova married a fellow by the name of altice and minaf married a fellow by the name of Rifkin and they both built beautiful beautiful families in Israel I know some of the children who they were reunited with with their uncle and Aunt after the war when I when I uh when I heard the story the first time you know I thought to myself so many aspects of life it's impossible to know the story hindsight 2020 foresight zero zero sometimes one one when she was steering there two hours in a Post Office right what would you do for those two hours you'll be upset at Russia be a pastor post office be upset at the system for good reason it's annoying it's frustrating nobody knows it was those two hours that literally changed his family despite the unfathomable tragedies which we also don't understand you know you say why does it have to happen this way I don't know why they have to lose their mind I don't know this is what mardukai understood so well saying when he went there every day he didn't know why Esther married this person he didn't know what we know we know why Esther ended up in his house we know she saved the Jewish people what he did know is I don't have to know everything in order to show up have a beautiful week and a wonderful week and a lot of I have an announcement next week I'm in London next week I'm in London so there's no class the week afterwards is Purim Tuesday okay so we have we're taking now a little break for two weeks the week after my nephew is getting married in New Orleans so we're taking a three week break okay you'll go to the previous classes from previous years and you'll hear you'll have 20 classes you were there the classes you were there you're gonna just remember no the only place that they didn't take over is what became Belarus so as white men they were Freedom no no war there um or the cons by the Mongolians the cons wow okay amazing wow wow okay okay hi thank you again remind you that's the reason that I have such an affinity right last year yeah in my life that still responded to an email even though you have a thousand emails a day when many other abundant so disappointed me at a specific time in my life and I was like okay I give up and you send the most beautiful beautiful email that Mom has saved my life Wow can you hear me wow thank you so much 18 months over I just want to tell you you're inspiring me because I get a lot a lot of emails and I'm behind but I learned from this class that you have to show up and answer even if it's difficult but I need help with that yeah [Music] wow