S.S.S.S. Shiur Parshas Behar Bechukosai

this week's parashat parshas bahar for kaisei first i want to apologize that we we held some of them here a half hour late uh we usually begin at ten o'clock tonight we begin at 10 30 we had the source of having the lights guerrero at our home tonight and we try to get the word out as uh much as we can that we're starting at 10 30. beginning of this week's powershell parses bahar the i'm hurting a person with words and generally we wouldn't know it the torah has to tell us that you know how to hurt someone with words that was causing pain to other people with words is us that's what the torah says what is foreign the first place we looked the gemara in bhavantiya daphnel tassamit bays says and agai it says uh what is diagnostic army gives three examples the examples the gemara gives is first of all you cannot walk into a merchant you cannot walk into a store and say to the store owner how much does this cost how much does this cost how much does that cost ask questions about the merchandise if you really in your mind have no intention of buying merchandise that's called the gnostic the second example the gemara gives is that you're not supposed to say to about shiva that remember the deeds of your past remember your past deeds you're not going to say that to about the third example the gemara gives is that to never say to a care remember the deeds of your ancestors remember about your your father your grandfather you're not supposed to say that to again that's what the gemara says i know it's the bar is the safer aquinos explains it a little further several says that there's an issue to oppress a person with words and every case is different every person has to know in every situation you are not allowed to hurt a person with words and suck to say foreign applies to your own children even to children unless you have a serious reason for enough reasons that you have to say something hurtful to a child says you're not going to hurt your own children or any child you're not allowed to say that above me on the next doc says the when he ends off when it ends off this thing if i know him he says something very interesting that a person has to be very careful especially with the words that he says to his wife okay we all know that you have to be careful what you say to your wife and i know that the owner of the store's wife is standing right back here which can't be in the video but she's standing back and she's listening very intently right now but since to a woman since a tears come very easily there's a gemara i'm telling you i'm not telling you i'm not telling you lamar says since the tears of the whites come easily it's especially important that you're careful in the words that you say to your wife so rapam uh on this gemara rapam says of promised house has a very beautiful idea he says it's an amazing thing and it's ironic and many of us know people like this that they pride themselves on being a gentleman and having manners and when you see them with strangers they're um they're extremely extreme extreme gentlemen yet when you see them with their own immediate family sometimes you just want to run the other way and rapam says it's an amazing thing it's ironic people are gentlemen their manners are are impeccable but you go to their own when they're in their own circles and they're with their own people and especially with the people closest to them with their own family it's scary it's scary they're out of hand you're just embarrassed to watch them and this is he says says ham also says that you have to treat each person and it's brought down in your day you've got your their incineration on olive that every person you have to treat each person because how long you have to treat every person with respect and even going you have to treat going with respect yet says that when it goes in the order of who do you give dhaka to first then who do you have to be nicest to first says that you start with the closest person to you your immediate family and it works itself out in a ripple effect it works itself out that way and if you take a look at the nature of people unfortunately many times it's the other way people are very careful and very generous with people that are very very far on the outside some far-flung yeshiva in russia and they're too strong for them i'm not saying that these are not important things but when it comes to their own family all of a sudden you're not gonna there's not so much covenant involved in uh supporting um spiritually and financially your own family so people turn it around and they have it all backwards and he says by the and people end up causing emotional pain and emotional scars to people in their own family or a palm says he says this is not a matter of matters of manners or etiquette he said these are what people are over these are in the arizona that there are ointments for and people don't realize that you're not gonna hurt somebody that's close to you now let it hurt someone in your family there's an unbelievable story the mark tsubasa nun tessa manal says a very interesting story on this point it says would spend long periods of time studying in the shiva bravo in makusa and even he would be learning the city which died and every year he would come home on erevium kippur one year rapha kumi kumar says was so engrossed in his studies in his learning that he forgot to come home could happen right he forgot to come home he wasn't there and it comes there if you're kipper his wife is sitting there and she's waiting for him and she kept saying soon he's going to come home soon he's going to come home he's going to come home and he didn't he didn't show up the gemara says that his wife was upset and she got dejected and a tear ran down her face she was sad she was upset at that time the gemara says he was sitting on a roof learning and the minute his wife shed a tear the roof collapsed i remember he went down with it and he was nifty that's what happened fracture crime schmolavis on this gemara the franchise levitz asks an unbelievable kasha rebel homie's wife was upset she was sad that he didn't come home so how exactly did this help her that the roof caved in and sniffed her if she was just pained by the fact that he wasn't home how much more would it have hurt her how much more did it actually hurt her that ravi was now left there he wasn't around anymore how does that help socrates and something that we all have to remember he says that hurting someone's feelings is not it's it's not like doing something else wrong he said that's called the proclaim it's called playing with fire when someone puts his hand in a fire and gets his hand in a fire and he gets burned is the burn a punishment for putting your hand in the fire no the burn is not a punishment for putting a hand in the fire the burn is the result of putting your hand in your fire it's not a punishing if you if it's by mistake it's only but if you put your hand in a fire you're gonna get burnt it's a result he says when somebody gets punished when someone does something to someone even inadvertently sometimes and you hurt another person the result is that something that that unfortunately something bad could happen to you you're playing with fire and the person has to know just how serious it is to treat how how serious it is when it'll happen a situation that you hurt somebody a person has to be very worried and a person has to be conscious to always treat the people everywhere with respect especially those that the tells us which is even harder to do sometimes you know family guy get it go you're getting on my nerves already every day i see a cousin a family though he's asking me for money but the bottom line is they're the people that you're supposed to treat with with respect first and how careful we have to be never ever to hurt someone's feelings and that's what the posting says over here like that a person has to be very careful i know it's the water never to hurt someone else and what better time is there to concentrate on this now we're coming to the end of sphere so in our end of time where people have to we're where the this time of the year is the sugar to work and you know all know what happened to the 24 thousands i'll meet him with brother kiva it's a time of the year that we it's been so good to us to be conscious to think about it to want to work on it to want to look around and say maybe i didn't treat the people in my family maybe i didn't treat my children maybe i didn't treat my people that work with me maybe i didn't treat the person who owns the store maybe i didn't treat the person behind the counter so well now's the time to be conscious of it and to think and if it's just this we should talk about to have the unbelievable of somebody who's conscious of being somebody that treats all other human beings with respect