Rosh Hashanah: How to be Inscribed in the Book of Life - Rabbi Shlomo Farhi speaking for Chazaq

[Music] Allu is a very serious time it's a time that we prepare ourselves for perhaps the most challenging and most frightening space space of time and entire year you know to shabbath has its mournful feel it's sad what's a cold Pesa has its freedom sooo caught has its trust in a shame but a rule is a time where the great car coming all throughout the ages they would tremble when it came to a loo because they understood that everything hung in the balance what they were going to achieve what they were going to do how they were going to live what partner saw they were going to get whether that children would get married whether they would have children whether the children they would have would stay alive everything that they had they could take nothing for granted because they believed that everything was in the hands of Accardo Subbaraju so this time of Allu was a time of great seriousness and they get up in the morning especially if you were safari ID every morning silly heart and the old time is if you ever go we have a chance in Israel to go to kiss at this they're there four or five o'clock in the morning sit there little tease each one you know alien s everyone's singing there you know this is how they was with us such a difficult so I want to talk a little bit about what this time means and I want to talk about something that's happened to the Jewish people over the lair I don't know how many years but to where we are and I think in not exactly the right place today I'll begin by giving you an example I come from deal New Jersey and my father has a synagogue which is for the Syrian community the Syrian community lives in a few different places but they like to live together if you ever see like ducks when you're there in the park you know you scare one of the Ducks it takes up all the ducks take off together that's the Syrian community they live a Brooklyn comes this summer all right they all go to deal together right there they don't move to one place or tell otherwise that each other they like to stay together as a community and it's a beautiful thing so whether or not my father's synagogue is going to be full on Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur depends on whether or not people are going back to Brooklyn so that's a calendar thing if every day falls out early right or Labor Day falls out late if everyone goes back to Brooklyn and then the shul is empty is very small but if everyone stays the shoes are packed it was one year where the shul was empty as could be I mean it was very small cuz the synagogue's are giant to accommodate the summer crowds so I'm just I walk into shul I take a seat one of the front rows maybe hundreds of seats that are empty in this room and I sit down right next to my brother this man walks in and this could only have him if a Jewish synagogue he walks up to me and he says to me excuse me sir could you move over you know the pursuits of I offend Cova Hall he looked here and here by Archaea Miche there's no man and look this is 50 empty seat this way if the guy wants me to move over I look like this I look the guy's not getting in I don't want to start a fire you know Rosh Hashanah so I move over the guy sits himself comfortably in the seat right in between me and my brother a hundred seats empty on either side afterwards I come up to the sky after the thing and I said you know you got to help me out here just help me understand I just want to understand I want to judge favorably I couldn't figure it out help me understand and listen what this man said it is bittersweet it is both beautiful and tragic at the same time he says I'm not such a good Jew I don't pray or learn as much as I should so when I come to Rosh Hashanah and I have to pray for my life he says I don't know how it's gonna go so I thought you know what if I snuggle in right in between to yeshiva guys then when God shines the light on the two of you if I'm right in the middle maybe I'll get a little bit of the light what did I say before it's tragic and it's funny but it's also beautiful here's a guy with such simplicity he just he knows it's up - him he knows he's gotta do the right thing he just doesn't know how to do the right thing she's trying it's tragic though isn't it it's tragic that that's what he thinks it'll is God shining spotlights like he's from a Star Wars or something you know beams of light they're shooting out all over the place but the best way to be able to learn to look at yourself with a little bit more of a critical eye to see where you fall short it's the first laugh at somebody else isn't it idiot oh that's as a speaker when you know you got people they realizes them one second later then they kind of wish they didn't laugh isn't it right we're just we exactly like this guy I want to explain why famously we understand about this day these days the days of Elul are called um a hot Sun there are times of great desire of great will from Hashem to be close to us and the word Ahlul as we always say denotes the acronym nila Dodi via Dodie Lee I am to my beloved and my beloved is me Hashem is so close with us during this time he loves us so much so therefore we could ask him for whatever we want ladies and gentlemen that is dysfunctional I don't know what dysfunctional means it's the opposite of functional can I explain how dysfunctional this is the words are Neela Dodie Dodie Lee means Hashem is my beloved and I am his I love him and he loves me so what's the aftermath is such a sentence let's try and play this into the real world the days of Lula days wash em loves you so much so let's imagine that those days are like the days of Sheva brachot he just got married fresh you don't know yet he's gonna throw his socks all over the floor you don't know yet that she's gonna criticize you every time you throw your socks on the floor everything is peachy for the moment you never had to make dinner because every night is Gemma back on it's beautiful this beautiful space of love of connection so obviously obviously chef about hokage's time of great love what should you use it for to make sure to ask your wife has many things as you can does that make sense women same thing sure God fantastic I love him he loves me can I get a new car can I get new this I want new clothes I would but that's what we're doing I nearly go David go Delia means Hashem loves me it means that he and I are connected there's a desire to be close so what are we doing with this time of closeness we're just asking him for a bunch of stuff write me in this book and give me this and bring my children like this beset by a parasite OVA do all of these things for me isn't that the opposite of a loving relationship it's dysfunctional it's manipulative and yet it's the way we've been taught to act during illu how could such a thing be is this not an obvious question that one needs to ask so I still remember a story that was told to my grandpa about a rabbi who comes to a town and he's got this killer speech but he's only got one good speech he doesn't have any other ones this is his one he's practiced that a thousand times this is party piece he walks in there and he gets everybody involved with a story with a joke whether this whether that everybody's listening and he builds and it's built and yet by the moment when he can as everybody eating out of his hands everyone is quiet this pin drop it silence he could hear in the room and he says everybody in this community is going to die everyone in the room goes you know the guy he's got his desired effect right he's very happy but he notices right in the front row is this old guy with a perfect Miami Beach tan with his sunglasses sitting there like this okay the rabbi can't believe he got everyone except for this guy he feels like you know like the pursuit says in in the Megillah because they're in inertia of a li it's not worth it if there's one guy that I missed right she works the speech background to get to the same point again and he says and I reiterate every person in this community it's going to da and again this guy would his tan his sunglasses just children in the front row he can't handle it she walks up to the guy he says did you not hear what I said how is it that you're just sitting there like that not afraid not worried and the guy says I'm not from this community our natural reaction to any sort of Chris's criticism Oh Musa is almost always to deflect and say this is not for me this is not me I'm not like that not like that I'm not for this is not about me I'm not from here this is not my part of the people that you were speaking about rabbi but every one of us is guilty of this in one measure or another and I want to define together tonight the concept of what real it is supposed to look like not a dysfunctional ill where we using God for something but rather using it in its correct format this is something by the way which has permeated a lot of Judaism raise your hand probably on the women's side mano gets their Mitzvah it was the last time you went to a challah bake for somebody to have a roof wash ulema everyone been to bake collar for someone for summer Rae's and how many you big car for anything good that's a good carb at attune but yeah anyway yeah you got everyone here yeah one person or just more and more people and not just a shame to race as a tactic I gave a once and I asked the rhetorical question I asked a rhetorical question I was pointing out that there's some certain things that there's nobody in the world nobody in the world could ever think that like you know and yet you find that there's people who do such evil things how could it be as I was talking about the nature of evil and I said is there anyone in the world that wants to kill babies I was pointed out there nazi wanted to kill baby is there anyone in the world that wants to kill a baby as soon as as soon as I asked the question this hand this girl in the back of the room it's 500 students there and the back one was his girl raised her head I thought I was a rhetorical question didn't really need an answer she raises her hands I said yes 499 heads turn like this right this poor girl a turn like this and then I realized that the girl wasn't raising a hand she was just fixing her hair and I just so she kind of went like this really slowly almost in the same way as the people of - can as they by mistake - you know the I'll Heidi what's a goal the beating in the shamone and army diamond and they realize it's sure about that kind of so you doing it's going on okay I felt so bad called attention to her but I noticed that for the rest of the class all the students were sitting on their heads like I special them they don't want to like pick their nose and I should think that they're raisin and so please don't be shy if I asked if you went you should be able to admit it you go to crowd you enter people we do all these things we had already go to say Tehillim in order to in order to for a refresher map for somebody we all do it but there's something here which I think has entered into the Jewish spirit which is dysfunctional we think that if someone's ill that the way that they get better is by making a hollaback and we get so obsessed with the technicalities of the halibut and arranging the tea lean everybody asks the safety Liam at the same moment around the world have we've all done this as well at 9:30 we're all gonna say tea and we get obsessed with it we're so obsessed with the mechanism that we forget actually what we're supposed to really be doing with it June's day when I mean by this it's not the bread it's Hashem it's not the Bailey it's Hashem it's not when you how you say it same thing is true with a loo and I I want to draw a line under what Alou is supposed to be and I believe with all of my heart that when someone does this right then they get their name sign in the book and the book of life easily but it's the opposite of what you'd think the pursuit says Ashkenazi me actually say this at the end of the tefillah every single day in the month of a loop I think that's how they do tissue for not do tissue bad for not saying so the hotel read a but they say the next room is more and the mizmor says I've gotcha LT may Hashem Otto avocation there's one thing that I asked the Villa Mella says a Hodja a tomato gem s you want for one thing otra avocation this thing is one thing that's what I'm begging you for that's what I want that's what I desire shifty better shame going my high I want to dwell in the house of Hashem my entire life Lars orb enormous table of Aqaba hello to be able to witness to see with my eyes how sweet God is be no emotion the sweetness of a shrimp will have a chemical oh and to visit in his in his temple in his haircut the yell coochie money in t healing asks an amazing question and gives a very perplexing answer it says as follows I'm a lack adores Barra who God says to dive in America but tehila at our own there are catch all T you start off when you say I'm asking you for one thing but then the Villa Mella goes on there Kaka etosha l commercial a lot you ask me for a whole buncha you have a laundry list SHINee amar like a tariff TV ashame la sorbonne Amish a mother baccarat hello are you asking for one thing or a bunch of things good question right O'Malley listen to what Davina MELAS answers but it's very powerful rebo notional a master of all the world me McCallum additi I learned to do this from you know you hear average available should the slaves should the servant not be like his master but he la a Martha in the pursuit you said that is Rael all Jewish people now I ask of you ma che Melo caca so L mean now what does God ask of you ki Amira I ask you only to fear me one thing the Aqua car David says the god particle ahem it's not our bear you carried on and you say I'm only asking you to fear me King Lea I'm asking you for your action I'm but then you go on and you say to follow in all my ways the to do all the mitzvoth to love Hashem etc except us for Bob not a bunch of things so that thing says I learned it from you shouldn't disturb and be like his master can I ask you if I was a sham and dahveed said that to me like that I would have smote him just because I love the word smite but I would have smote him what a hoot spa so isn't it hot spa Hashem says Naveed you asked me for one thing then he asked me 50 things that says you know what I learned it from you you also said that is Raya you know I would ask you only for your either yes for a laundry list the simple interpretation is it David I'm Elif was is it get out clause you know illegal 'yes i saw that you did it so i thought it was okay if i did it too so hot spot can't be that that's what every time a doctor saying there's a much deeper understanding here Davida melk is answering hashem that my cavanaugh my intention here is not to ask for many things my intention was the same as yours the Ramban says on this pursuit that when God asks for one thing only for fear of God you know what he's asking for he's asking for the thing that all Mitzvahed are there for that means that there's one Mitzvah really in the Torah and that is to fear God one so when the pisaq says to guard his Mitzvah to follow in his ways to keep his who came to love us and all of that the function and the purpose of all of that is to fear Hashem that's the highest but my question is obvious and I can see it in your eyes if there's one thing which is the highest level it's the fear a sham surely to love us sham is higher than to fear him and that higher of course but the pursuit is not that way and the Ramban interprets the pursuit to say that the highest mitzvah 0hr i'm vitaly israel naha shamsher m if water is as Jamie asked King Lear is only asking for fear and the answer my friends is that there are two types of fear there's a fear that happens when a person is sitting shaking in his boots wondering what God is going to do to him that is our relationship with alou what is God going to do to me is he going to smite me or not am I gonna have my partner so is he gonna take it from me is he gonna make my tires bust out on the highway or not that's one level of fear and for many people that's what their Judaism is I hate to say it I do the right thing because what's gonna happen to me if I don't do the right thing so much of Judaism is based on guilt that's fear above that is love surely because I'll teach us something unbelievable and I don't think that you really know this you really know this until you have a child the moment you have a child a love is born in your heart that you've never experienced it's not even the love that you experience that you feel when you find the one that's going to be your wife or your husband it's a deeper love it's a love which is more unconditional if such a thing was possible because you don't choose that child and you can never reject it you can't divorce your son or your daughter the moment you first feel the truest love in your heart in that same moment a fear is born in your heart as well your house is suddenly not a warm and comfortable home your house is a deathtrap right your kid came home you are flipping out you something pieces of plastic and every single one of the plugs the kid can't even crawl yet you taping up the corner of every sharp edge of a table you're installing these locks under your cabinet that you and your husband cannot open for 20 minutes you sitting there like this the only person that can open those stupid locks and gals is your children ironically it's kind of like the password and the filter on your computer only you now can't use your computer the kids who is made for their guy like the problem they're right in this concept that the greatness the overwhelming nature of your love gives birth to a fear because I'm terrified that this thing that I love more possibly than I even love myself that some harm should come to that that that relationship should be damaged or should perhaps lessen it's terrifying that's the love the high love the Year at high Romi moot that's the love which is heart the fear which is higher than love itself the Italia L ladies and gentlemen that is the function of a loo God tells us I love you even though Jarro ambitious I mean he is pasturing amongst the roses because each one of us is like the Rose that's depicted in she Rashid him Keshawn Shanna Ben Hakim you were like a rose amongst the thorns with all of the beauty of my mitzvoth there are parts of me which are very thorny and are very they resist relationship they resist closeness because even though I might pray my head off my me dot are terrible even though am i learning is shiva maybe I'm not as honest as I need to be where I don't show respect to my elders to my parents in the way that is commensurate to my Torah learning says hegemony lead or David or Delhi I'm here for you I love you and you love me this is a time of closeness hello I be shining even though you're not perfect I love you anyway I love you as you are and I see the incredible potential that you have that is what aloo is about developing a closeness with Hashem everything else comes because of that so I want to explain what that means and I think again Mahela if this is obvious but I think that this tiny understanding is what stands between most people and what I call real Judaism most people understand that I do a mitzvah or I pray or I learn and then Hashem writes me a check for the reward there's a disconnect between that which I do and that which I've earned I work and then I get paid there's no connection between the money between the payment and the doing I worked my whole life and I get to alibi - em gives me a really comfortable I don't we don't even know what it's like we think it's like first class really comfy seat cuz we're gonna be there forever like amazing food and you never gain weight this is how we think about Lima ba but it's such a misnomer Olam haba is about closeness to God every single one of us that has life in their veins whose heart is beating who's able to achieve it's because we have a connection with the living source of all of our world when we move away from the living source it's that famous joke of this guy who's passing away and he's got his full the tubes and all the wires and every one of his kids is getting you know their last their last leg little bit of advice from their dad and the father talks to the first son his second son the third son and finally gets for the youngest son and the kid leans over and the father says the kids crying he says like why dad why won't you tell me why would you spoke to everybody else I need to hear I need to hear your final words of advice of encouragement please and Nikita and they keep leaning closer to try to hear would his father saying and finally his father grabs him by his shirt and he pulls him really close to his ear is right by his mouth and he says get off my breathing dude where are you wash em with life where are the things that I need and Hashem is like get off the breathing tube you've disconnected yourself from the source of everything porta Acadia Decca who must be I love all kyrat son God only wants to give to us he's the source of everything so Baraka comes when waking did but that seems far away so I'd like to share one idea which I think will help us in understanding this cava election the PASOK says that a person is supposed to have faith in God Ciavarella Shem Kazak vomits vomits libertà vaccarella Shem have faith in God Kazak vomits vomits aha strengthen your Bree courageous vicar very lush em the word covet has faith in Hashem what does it mean to have faith in Hashem what does it mean that when God says my arms are open and I want you back and I'm gonna forgive you what does it mean to believe him what does that mean so this idea the word cavae the give matreya of the word cavae hoof is a hundred valve is six hey is the GU materia of cavae therefore is 111 what's interesting to note is that there's another bracket there's another word excuse me that occupies almost the honor of the next level above that word the Maharaj says that the word Baraka the root word of the word bracha is the word but if begin materia of the word beerus is bait is to rashes 200 laughs is 20 to 22 says the maja that the idea of why a Baraka is to 22 is because the truest nature of a blessing is actually magnification it's two to two it's not a blessing to introduce something new if I was to give you a blessing that you should be like Moshe Rabbeinu that wouldn't be a blessing it would be a curse a true blessing is to take the person himself who they are or herself and magnify them make them a better than that's why bear but it is to to to what is Cavett one one one the truest form of faith when a person is trying to reach out to God to do the right thing and they're trying to know what to feel in their heart of hearts that they had good enough because we've all been here before and we've gone to speeches and we cried and we listened to the shofar and we said we'll be better and then we come again and the next year do you not lose hope do you believe that this is gonna work for you this year isn't that foolish isn't that naive what the pursuit is teaching us cavae Elish m11 one is a reference I believe to a pursuit in the Torah which talks about teshuva because as I look at my life and all the things that I'm doing wrong I get overwhelmed there's so many different things that I need to fix I'm a rabbi you think I'm perfect I'm so far from perfect there's so many things I need and it's like an ocean and it threatens to drown you so how do you get past that the answer is 1 1 1 the myth ferrocene say that the pursuit when it talks about is talking about to Shuba when it says kia mitzvah hazard I shared I know he met Savitha how young this Mitzvah that I am commanding you to do today it's not far away from you it's within your grasp but I want you to notice the pursue itself is giving you a recipe for teshuva to be able to get into this book of life that we so desperately want to be written into and when we understand how much and how pervasive God's control over our universe is it becomes ever more important to get into that book but how do we do this so much says the pursuit 1 1 1 keV it I'm gonna give you hope now key a mitzvah SOT there's only one Mitzvah I want you to work on one the one that's in front of you right now a share I know him it's a visa I'm commanding this one Mitzvah only to one person to you most Mitzvahed die because everyone believes that someone else is gonna take care of it or they believe that it's someone else's responsibility if the rabbi was a better speaker if kosher food was cheaper if the synagogue was more welcoming everybody else's problem that I'm not doing a mitzvah quija mitzvahs or this one mitzvah i shadow him it's avatar that I'm commanding it's only for you don't worry about anybody else don't worry about what anyone else is doing or not doing hey young today only don't worry about tomorrow if you're gonna be able to learn forever can you learn today can you do this Mitzvah can you do it right now right here that's the hope that a person has when they do teshuva there are many marriages that experience breakdowns and as a rabbi you get to meet lots of people with lots of different issues and quite often you have a husband and wife who are coming to you and the wife or the husband will look at the other and say you know I don't even know how can I trust you and the other spouse will turn to that person and say no I promise things will be different I'm gonna change and what does every spouse say back to that you've said that before show me every person who wants to fix their marriage is so overwhelmed with how they're gonna start doing that that the first thing they do is they make promises don't promise keep your mouth show me show me that you're worth investing and show me that you are lovable that you can try can trust you again and that starts with one simple action at a time and that is the cafe my friends this thing this book of life is no joke because it's not just whether or not you're gonna be alive it goes so much deeper than that and I want to show you what it means that God has control over our world and I was a young man I just got married I went to my uncle's home for a July 4th party I'm sitting there in the house and the party is beautiful we're on the 30th floor overlooking the East River I think it was the East River where they do the fireworks so if the fireworks show is beautiful if you can imagine what that looks like when you're 30 floors up in the sky and the fireworks are exploding all around you could you imagine amazing the show is over and everyone starts to go home we open the door I'm there with my family with my wide new wife with all of my extended families I'm the oldest of my family so all my single brothers and sisters are there with my parents we walk down to the hole of this giant high-rise building and the hallway is packed with people the elevators are jammed we start moving our way down the packed hallway of the 30th floor to the stairwell maybe we'll walk down the stairwell is crammed with people all the way down can't leave my father had to get home you know he was in a bit of a rush he wanted to get back for the evening services and the Shuar he's the rabbi so my father decided that he was gonna leave get his way down walk down instead I don't even know but I was newly married we had no kids we had no responsibilities we're just relaxing she's no Chilean what do we need to run for i sat in the apartment we enjoyed I had a drink we relax me there for an hour and a half now this building is on the East River it's in Long Island some of you will see it when you're driving along on the highway over there it's got the orange slices right next to the pepsi-cola vert this sign over there that's where the building is my father's driving back to deal how far is it from that building to deal New Jersey an hour and a half we leave an hour and a half after they left the apartment I opened the door to look in the hallway coast is clear take the elevator down like a king get in my car we drive home as I'm driving home I pull on to the West Shore Expressway I'm driving in the passing lane and I say to my wife that's weird you know you know like you know and you could tell that it's your car because everybody's car has like its bumps like you know the bumper is smashed in on that side or you have like the weird you know a bumper sticker like my child is an honor-roll student or my child beat up your honor roll student stuff like this you know so I look up and I say to my wife I think that's my wife's it's impossible they left an hour and a half ago they would let they should be home already we're only 20 minutes thirty minutes away from anyway I pull up next to the car I look in the car it's my father I can't believe that honk the horn my father looks up I waved him I would like this weird like what didn't have cellphones waved him waves back don't understand go home the next morning I get to shul and I woke up to my father and I said Abba what happened last night he says what do you mean what happened I said last night I was driving home I saw you in the lane I come up I waved hello you waited maybe way back but what's a cool but when you left an hour and a half and four should have been already my father goes white and he says that was you yeah it was me he says you don't understand I'm so confused he says that was you I said I said let me tell you what happened I was driving home it was so late it took us so long to get out I fell asleep while I was driving the car and all of a sudden someone honked their horn next to me woke me up waved to me I waved back to say thank you to him for saving the lives of my wife and eight children that was you this is not physically possible they should have did he get lost you know but in exact has anybody ever befallen asleep at the wheel for a second you cost starts to drift what do you have one second two seconds before you run into the guardrail do you understand the amount of time the specific exact timing for me to be there exactly at that moment could you understand how things meet that's what it means when we talk about the fact that God runs every aspect of this world so when we come and ask him for life we're asking the person the being god forbid not a person the beating that runs everything Bastian asked us only for one thing in return you want to plug into me for life for blessing don't ask you don't need to ask if you plugged in you get it cuz you plugged in so he know that I am we ask for life linman hadouken claim once we're connected with you it happens automatically that's when Ahlul is not dysfunctional that's when we're not using God but rather we're connecting with him and I have to say and again I want to kind of bring this together because we started late I have to say that this idea of covet of the one thing that a person has to do is actually a little bit deeper than this davina Melek when he says I gotcha LT what he means is that just like God when you said that the purpose of everything was to get to a place in the relationship where you're afraid you don't want to ruin what you have with us gem dahveed says I also saying that I also I just want to live in your house God I want to be part of your family and the only way for me to do that is lozad Ben know I'm a gem I need the sweet see how sweet you are how you taking care of things when someone reaches out to us in our lives and we didn't ask them to do something but you just get there and they already took care of it what do we say oh that's so sweet it's so thoughtful the Avena man that says God I would love to be connected in a way where I feel like I'm part of your family but in order to do that I need to feel how sweet it is to be connected to you there's a young boy whose name was Benji hymen Benji hymen was born as a little child with terrible seizures non-stop his body would go into these convulsions and he would be throwing his body involuntarily all over the place his parents he's a little kid they had to hold him the only thing they could do is hold his head she wouldn't smack it against the ground they felt so helpless so powerless and this boy he grows up and the seizures are getting worse and worse and his arms are flailing and his eyes are rolling up in his head and they parents they take this child to the doctor and they say how can we do we need to do something and the doctor says I'm terribly sorry there's only one surgery that we have the ability to do but it's not worth doing because the only way we can do it is by cutting out a piece of your son's brain and the danger when you play with a human brain is we don't know what's gonna happen so no matter how bad it is it's not worth doing the one thing that will help save him the parents go home crush but weeks months years go by and the seizures are getting worse and worse and when they used to happen a few times a day they're now happening non-stop and the parents eventually come back to the hospital and they asked to meet with the doctor again and when the doctor comes out he starts to tell them I already met I already and they cut him off and they say doc you said that it wasn't worth having the surgery because it might end his life he has no life he can't go to school no one could look after him there's nothing that we could do he has no quality of life we would like to go ahead with the surgery they pray until their eyes are raw they arrange challah bakes they say they'll aim at the same time and their boy goes under the knife hours and hours pass and the parents are pacing outside in the waiting room and the doctor walks out and the doctor has a smile on his face and he says the surgery was a success parents they collapsed on the doctor they throw their arms around him they can't thank him enough for being a good emissary of Hashem to bring reform after their child and the child flourishes he goes to school he's making up for lost time he's so excited he loves but his favorite day the whole year was poutine he would get all dressed up in elaborate costumes probably because on some level the child was making up for his childhood and there's no day that emphasizes that celebrates childhood like poem does he's walking with his dad on Purim day in his costume with all the Mushaf my not across the road the father crosses the road steps onto the sidewalk and hears behind him a terrible sound screech you know the ones that you wait like this for and then he hears he turns around and he didn't notice that his son Benji who he was walking with had lagged behind and he'd gotten hit by this van and he turned around in time to see his son flying through the air and his head hits the ground and he can see it bounce on the concrete he drops everything he's holding he runs to his child and as he reaches underneath his kid to pick him up he can feel his hand underneath the boys skull is wet with blood and this man mr. Hyneman turns to Shammai him and he says god what have we done to you did this boy not suffer enough he's already had surgery on his head we've cut him open once what do you want from me all of our prayers everything was it for nothing then you throwing it back in our face like this the ambulance comes and the distraught father and the son are rushed to the hospital they hand the child over to a different surgeon and then they wait hours go by again and again the doors of the operating room open wide and again the surgeon walks out and the father's looking at the face of the surgeon to see what does his face look like he's at the face of relief of joy like last time is it the face of anguish of a doctor that needs to tell parents that the love of their life has been snuffed out but the only look you can see on the face of the surgeon is confusion Sergent says with this confused look on his face he says your son is gonna be fine I said what thank you he's hugging you he's kissing the doctor he says so why do you look so and the surgeon says I'll be honest I've been doing surgery for decades never in my life have I seen a case like your son he says what do you mean a boat I need you to hear this but not with your ears I need you to hear this with your heart he says when I took one look at your son and the knock on his head and the blood the amount of blood that was coming out I had no hope whatsoever I only did the surgery because I'm obligated to because when a kid or an adult gets a bang like that a trauma to the head invariably what happens is the brain begins to swell the blood begins to pool around the brain and the pressure on the brain within the skull where that blood has nowhere to go where the brain in its trauma has nowhere to expand automatically means that the child will not survive but did you know that your son is missing a piece of his brain which allowed for the blood the fluid to gather which allowed for the brain to expand and your child is a hundred percent fine did you know that your son is missing a piece of his brain and that's why he's alive those moments when you look at the god that the father that you once cursed out that you once thought that the experiences in your life will cloth but not but not bra hood the brow hood that they would eventually become to be seen that's when we understand what lozad Ben no I'm a sham means when you see how sweet Hashem is to us even when it doesn't look or feel that way it allows us to feel like we always want to be part of his family so this Allu ezra hashem we should be so they're not to pray to Hashem to get stuff not to do teshuva in order to get something from him I was visited by a father whose son disrespected him and his son sent him a text and the text said his father had punished him taking away his phone the text said dad I'm sorry can I have my phone back does anyone here think the kid is sorry haha Hashem was so sorry please give us our life back it was a time to be able to recognize all of God's kindness it's a time to be able to look at how we can improve and how we can show our love to him and to the process of our showing our love our devotion our Tiffin Lord our prayers our mitzvoth our class is going to more Charette or rather kazakh is bringing the entire community together by our investment bringing other people with us to the club with our investment when you love a restaurant what do you do you bring people to the restaurant when you love Hashem synagogue what do you do you bring more people to the synagogue to the classes you get more people involved if we come to Hashem that way automatically we get rid not just in a book of life but in a book of life which is so full of life that it encompasses the Sanford hi Ibrahim Lawrence at over be sure than Efremov every possible bracha that we could ever choose or hope to imagine will be ours and it will be ours because not we've manipulated God or try to force him to give us what we want but because he and us we both want the same thing more time with each other we should so hesitation to have all about to be Lord answered me Ravi I'm in amen [Music]