Rosh HaShana, Speaking To The Dead, Modesty, Religious Fanaticism - STUMP THE RABBI (22)

[Music] we're back in Sunny Isles take number 17 uh and uh almost as many takes as we have had stump the RAB stump the rabbi 22 uh today will be for anavid benis uh Esther butora uh Elish but Sarah dor but Mercedes um you it but but and all of also okay so a uh the stump the rabbi bash continues if you guys have some questions that you uh that are meaningful questions please ask um there is actually uh an issue I want to talk about uh there actually a story connected to the issue that I want to talk about about that uh anyone that understands and hasem allows me to say it properly uh a few people will fall off their chairs because this is something I don't think uh has been discussed at least not in much as much detail as we have today uh the uh this is uh we have this lecture here the next lecture we have is on Tuesday and uh then next Wednesday uh then we have so uh there's only a couple of more lectures for the year uh anyone that wants to know the schedule or also wants to uh get uh daily updates short clips join the WhatsApp group 1917 46823 24 that's also a place you can send me personal questions um if you have any specific issues I try to do my best to respond to them please please if you want fast responses make the questions short don't send me Meg uh if you send me me most likely you're going on the back burner uh not because it's anything personal but just because by the time I finish me I could already answer 15 other questions of other people so I answer them eventually just takes longer when it's longer uh emails honestly I don't I recommend people stop sending me emails um I answer some emails from time to time but I'm have I don't know I'm maybe five six months behind uh emails almost become like spam uh so uh there's a few people that I can communicate with once in a while through email but for the most part there's hundreds and hundreds of emails just unfortunately it's not possible for me to respond to all of them and the WhatsApp uh and Facebook and you bunch of other things uh next thing is please don't ask me to you know have phone calls unless it's absolutely urgent I generally don't speak on the phone it's nothing against anyone specific don't take offense to it it's not about you it's just that I have thousands of you so if I answer every phone call or have every phone call if you will ask me I'm simply not going to have time to uh breathe so we try to address all the issues via text message voice notes and things like that I know some people are offended by it I'm sorry that you're offended but there's really not much that I can do um if it's absolutely urgent after we you know then I speak on the phone but it's rare if I have two conversations on the phone a week it's a lot uh as far as the uh holiday that's coming up um for anyone that's been going to and enjoying the uh the tune uh remember that is is Judgment Day it's a time for all of us to uh tell we know we sinned we're not denying it and uh it's time for us to say I'm sorry and we promise we're going to do better that's in essence the whole point if you go to just to go see a bunch of friends that you haven't seen all year and give them high fives and show off your new clothes it's better off you stay home uh if you're going to violate the holiday in order to go to the synagogue for example by driving to the synagogue on the H the H is like Shabbat you're not have to drive on you're not to drive on y if you're going to drive on to to the to the synagogue it's better off you don't leave your house why because there's no obligation to go to synagogue there's an obligation to obey the Torah and here we see that sometimes people think think that uh they could add to the Torah things that make sense to them there's certain things that make sense to human beings even though said not to do it but it makes sense and that's one of the reasons why we have a mitvah for example like the the red heer that uh the wisest man of all time says this one I have no idea what it means this Mitzvah I know everything else or I thought I know everything else but this Mitzvah shows me I don't know anything why because it doesn't make any sense this this mitvah with the red heer so tried to teach us from that specific mitvah that you're not supposed to rationalize the Tor you're not even supposed to understand the reasoning behind all of the MIT there's only one reason to fulfill the entire tah and that one reason is that the King of Kings said to do it that's the only reason whether you like it or not is irrelevant whether you understand it or not is irrelevant whether your Rabbi told you about it or not is irrelevant whether you agree with it or not is relevant that is the behavior that a servant must have with his King that is the behavior that a servant must have with her King it doesn't matter if you agree with hashem's modesty laws it doesn't matter he said you have to be modest he says that anytime that you're not modest he runs away from you and you're praying to a wall pretty much that's it doesn't matter whether you agree with it or not like it or not the times have change or not that stuff doesn't make a difference that is the behavior of a servant to its king if the servant does not want to serve the king as the king commands then therefore that means that that king is not a king so it's a bad idea to show up to r with your own individualistic ideas of what the Torah should be and what the king should accept from you like many women think that they're obligated to go to synagogue I'm already I'm going to tell you this I've said it once I'll say it again as a woman you're not obligated to go to synagogue ever ever like ever ever ever there 365 days a year never guys please if you're going to talk go outside a woman is not obligated to go to synagogue ever you want to go to synagogue fine you can go as long as you're able to be quiet and pray and you're modest do that those few things fine you want to bring a kid with you no problem as long as he could also be quiet he doesn't have to pray cuz he's a baby if he's quiet that's enough but if either you or the baby are interfering both of you out why you have no obligation to go there so in essence by adding this thing to your life where you're say no no I want to go to the synagogue okay but you going to talk the whole time socialize with your girlfriends that you haven't seen the whole year instead of making a mitvah you're making a sin none of the guys can pay attention you came with your Minik skirt all the guys are looking at you instead of looking at the you know how many sins you're collecting on you're adding millions and millions of sins who wants wants that that such a count so if you could dress modestly be quiet and pray go to sh if if you want to if not stay home that's not different for guys too if as a guy you could be quiet pray be go to Sho if not stay home why because if you're going to chitchat the whole on better off you go home if you're gonna show up you know like uh you just came out of some rap video with a gold chain down to your belly button and uh talk to people the whole time but you new watch and all that stuff go home if you're not going to look at the s for one minute you're going to talk to everybody all time go home if you're G to stand outside chitchat with the guys go home why at least you're not laughing in the king's face in his face in front of everyone so synagogue AB is not a place to socialize I know people like to socialize there but it's not a place to socialize I promise you so it's important that we take AEM seriously especially on y now there is something extraordinary that I'm going to ask you guys and then after you guys give me some of your answers I'm going to give you the answer from the toah and I want you to think about it the whole time I ask you the question now and after you guys ask me some questions I give you some answers we'll answer that question the question is is it good to be stringent as a Jew when it comes to comes to the law let's say there's the law the law says do XYZ is it good or better yet is it better to do what it says what the says doem says do ABC you do ABC or is it better to do more be Aid ohem says keep Shabbat 25 hours I'm Gonna Keep 26 I want to keep 40 I want to be Shabbat the whole week is that make you more righteous or more wicked why would it make you Wicked why it says does more than the law if you're you do more than the law question is is it better to do more to be stringent or not that's the question so you guys think about the question and uh I'll answer the question in a few in a little while no who has questions you're on strike yes pass the uh oh the no microphone just speak loud yeah forget the mic yeah microphone's retired yeah in the Torah you a woman for the Reas that you en what you're so there is a that says the question is if uh the Torah says you're not allowed to as a man you're not allowed to listen to a woman sing because the says that the the the voice of a woman singing is like uh her nakedness meaning that when a man listens to a woman sing if he knows what she looks like he's going to think of her naked now interestingly enough your imagination always beautifies women they're always more beautiful in your imagination than they are in reality what happens if the woman looks like an alligator what if she looks uh like she just came out of uh the what happened what about that it's a question it's a good question so I'm going to give you guys a nice k at the time of the Ben the benai and also umaji two giants in the spartic world Tor World they said that there is a uh leniency to shake a woman's hand shake a woman's hand if you do not get any joy out of it meaning for if it's a business transaction of some kind or if it's a uh let's say if it's a uh you know famous person like a governor and it not shaking their hand could create problems and so on there's a leniency that if you just shake quickly and let go is aancy you're allowed to do it but if you get joy out of it for a second second ass it's like anything else Soom when he got an award from the state of Israel for uh for his book he got a award from the country such a good book that they awarded him and they uh the prime minister at the time was gold brought him on stage and took out a hand put his hand back said I'm sorry I cannot I don't shake a woman's hand and she found it very offensive why she's a prime minister he didn't shake her hand but there is an tail there is a Le so when his son told the story years later he says technically if you look at it aside from the the Ben and others that said that technically there's a leniency if someone is important like a prim Minister there's a leniency this one had even more leniency why she's ugly she's old she's gross she he's married anyway a million and a half lenes with this this this Amal what that he could shake a hand all he once this one maybe he want a hug or too doesn't make a difference she's hugging an alligator but no says himself he wrote I didn't hug why I didn't I didn't shake a hand why why he says yes there's leniencies but who wants to rely on leniencies with such a thing sometimes you want to r on leniency and sometimes you don't mess with it the point being is that even though at times there are certain leniencies to do certain things you have to choose your battles now when it comes to uh the the woman's voice there is no leniency if you know what she looks like you are forbidden from listening to her sing some say were even more strange say you shouldn't even listen to a woman talk because of how much T you have in your head but is you not have to listen to a woman sing uh if you know what she looks like because the mind of a guy the mind of a man is very different than a woman it's has your imagination is very very creative it's the most creative of hashem's Creations that in essence you can your imagination could even make a 94 yearold woman look pretty how do I know right now as we speak there's a guy that went on the news maybe about a year ago he's 35 years old why is he why is this 35y old nobody on the news he wanted to introduce his girlfriend to the world who's his girlfriend 94 years old woman 94 years old she's not even he's not even young enough to be a grandson he's a great grandson she's a girlfriend girlfriend why is an imagination who knows what happened in his imagination point being if Tora says that the voice of a woman is nakedness there's a reason for it generally speaking somebody I'll finish off with this someone asked one time how come there's not many there's not any about music listening this aside from this specific it's very famous aside from that we don't really know much about the treatment of music so looked at the student seriously he said says's house has been destroyed for 2,000 years who says you're even allowed to listen to it who's homeless right now you think that you you think that a you're supposed to listen to music so there is a leniency that you can as long as it's kosher music and it's music that's conect connected to Hashem you're never allowed to listen to secular music no matter if it's a man or a female you're never allowed to listen to this mumbo jumbo hip hop and all of this rock and roll all that filth that's in the world never allow it to listen to that stuff that's the stuff that puts to mind your head that makes you start becoming a silently the only music you're allowed to listen to meaning that there's a leniency to do so is music that will help you connect to other than that no music whatsoever is allowed ever you could go ask your local uh your local reform Rabbi and he'll play the music for you if you want you know play Ra maybe he'll sing a a r tune to you as far as says no why because it's a uh you have to be very very careful with what you allow into your mind next question I'm telling you guys you better off ask questions because if I ask my question my question is a tough one no so say it's easyy is AEM more critical of heresy or lack of kindness the says there are two daughters of G Gom has two daughters meaning two of the major things that GOM loves why anyone that does these things number one thear says guaranteed to go to Gom two almost impossible to do chuva for it meaning very difficult two daughters of Gom they sing havav havav meaning this is something that's addictive in this world says give me give me I want more sin more sin more sin and then the Gom sings have meaning come come come it's my turn to take take get a take on you everybody everybody else all the other ones ripped you apart now it's my turn G says so what are these two daughters who are these to two daughters the says one is heresy and the other one is immorality heresy and immorality are the two most addictive sins that there are and anyone that commits them without doing chuva guaranteed to go to G so if you look at what thear says you see that heresy is obviously not you know being a herited going against the Torah is much much worse than not being kind it doesn't mean that it's okay to not be kind it just means that you can change your kindness much easier than you can change your ideology kindness sometimes people do it just to show off sometimes somebody would give he's on Aid and all of a sudden decides to give the homeless guy $20 and you know pretend like he's generous the guy's really regretting it he's going to cry all night that he gave the homeless guy $20 but he wanted to show his his date that he's generous but he doesn't he's going to cry he's going to go to Rabbi Rabbi please what did I do what kind of I had to give this guy $20 going to cry for a week because he gave the homeless guy $20 so he's generous what generous fake generous some people do that some people like I talked to you guys last night some people they donate money only because they want publicity there was actually one famous story in is a guy would donate $100,000 to a certain organization and another $100,000 to help the market that he donated $100,000 would billboard and all types of advertising to let the world know that he donated $100,000 whatever the amount of money was meaning it was just as much what is he generous no he's a fool so heresy is a something that's uh much more difficult to change because kindness a person needs to wake up and and realize that yes you should be kind yes it's good to be kind if you look at the uh teachings of the sages says that one of the qualities of a Jew that's unique uh is kindness uh that shows that you're a descendant of abah ainu if you're not kind it's already come to you know it's it's questionable but uh but when it comes to heresy when it comes to the ideology of a person that's much more difficult to change and the reason why is because first and foremost you look at the world today you have almost 8 billion people in the world 99.999% of them are heretic you have Idol worshippers as I went over the other day Idol worshippers from China and you know whether it's form of Buddhism or Christianity or atheism all different types of of idol worship atheism is also a form of idol worship they believe in themselves as God uh or you look at the two and a half billion Christians in the world ID worship or you look at the Muslims in the world that distort the Torah and uh added stringencies that are completely unnecessary you know we said to be modest they decide to start covering their face we said to pray they say we're going to pray five times whatever Torah says they thought that they're going to be even more strict and that's going to make them more righteous it's the opposite um so point is is that you see out of eight billion people in the world Jews and non-jews alike most people are her Heretics and it's very very hard to take people out of that world you have to wake them up now the says in that someone that's prideful to AEM it's not only disgusting but it's meritorious to chop this person off just like you chop off idolatry the Asher trees that told to Yeshua to chop off as soon as you get is says these AER trees the go worship these trees so first first mitvah you do as soon as you go into the land of Israel chop them off so says someone that's prideful someone that's arrogant is the same thing like this ashry he's like idolatry why he's idolizing himself so it's meritorious to chop him off what do we really learn from this shem's not killing every arrogant person or else most of us wouldn't be survive a week what does it mean it means that unless a person removes their pride and starts working on their arrogance it is impossible to do chuva and this is the reason unfortunately why the overwhelming majority of people that do chuba whether it's conversion or Chua from you know start keeping MIT 99.999999% of people that do cha it's only after a traumatizing experience people do not wake up one day and say I want to be righteous people do not wake up one day and say I want to do what Hashem says they don't do it until Hashem breaks them hm brings tragedy to their life why because they're proud they're arrogant they think they're right they think their lifestyle is right or better yet they think that Hashem is going to wait I'm not ready to do Chua yet I'll do it once I get married I'm not ready to be sh I'm still young I'm not ready to keep Shabbat I I'm still making some money I'm building myself up I'm not ready to do this you know they all assume that Hashem is going to wait for them where does that come from arrogance as if if hem works for them hem has all the pay who who guaranteed you even going to live this week let alone five to 10 years from now or better yet said no no I understand it says in the Torah that you're not allowed to do such and such but Hashem understands that I can't do it meaning yes it's relevant this p why is relevant it's true they're not denying it but it's not relevant to them meaning the entire world 6,000 years has to comply with this PUK billions of people have to comply with this PUK except you it's applicable to everybody except you where does that come from arrogance arrogance so until destroys that person's arrogance he won't do Chua and even if he does Chua without removing the uh the arrogance it's not real Cha one of the examples that I gave you recently there was a rabbi or Rabbi some guy that started you know started giving lectures and he speak like me meaning started saying you know stuff that's true not mumbo jumbo Care Bear stuff said strong stuff one day picked up and left became a k everybody ask how's this possible I POS one day you telling people you violate Shabbat you's going to kill you started showing people all types of films of how there's uh all types of ghosts and spirits in the world all types of scary stuff and next next thing you know this guy's a how if you pay attention to his lectures which he removed by the way from the world you see that the whole time he was giving lectures it was 100% arrogance arrogance had nothing to do with their he just like to tell people what to do and until breaks that arrogance the person cannot do Chu and even the chu that they do is not real it's bound to break so that's why it's very very dangerous to have the wrong ideology and it's also very dangerous not to work on our character traits especially arrogance because so long as we act arrogant we're in essence forcing hashem's hand to hurt us he doesn't want to but for the sake of saving sometimes you have to C cut and amputate a body part why because that body part is cancerous so in order to save the rest of the body you have to amputate the leg the doctor doesn't want to amputate the guy's leg he's not getting any benefit out of it but he has to why because that's the only way to save the rest of the body Hashem doesn't get any benefit out of you know hurting us making us lose all our money giving us health problems all types of problems that people have but in essence we force hand because why because until he does it we don't look up and start asking ohem what can I do for you to stop this stop the beatings what could I do we don't do it so that's why it's very very dangerous to have heresy wrong ideology because in essence that's a much more addictive thing next question same price so you guys want me to answer my question or you want me to oh another question you asked a good question last week are you allow to to a are you allowed to give staka to a it's very good question it depends what kind of if the is a church or some type of uh organization that's going to publicize things that are against God then it's 100% a sin for example donating to a church that's uh encouraging people to be Idol worshippers and worship Jesus and all this other garbage that is in essence you are enabling them to go against God the person is considered the same thing as them so much so the says someone that gives Saka to a place that's not worthy it's as if they wasted seed why just like someone that Wast seed is wasting the shefa the reward and the goodness that Hashem gave him into nothing a person that gives theak to a place that's not worthy is wasting the goodness that hasem gave him for no reason so if it's a place that's publicizing idolatry or it's a place that's doing other things that are against Hashem heresy of some kind or something that's complete nonsensical then obviously this is not good if it's something that's a uh you know it's good for the world type of thing meaning it's let's say a homeless guy yeah you give him five bucks 10 bucks 20 bucks no problem that's a good thing to do there's nothing wrong with that but you can never make that your number one target meaning it could always has to be secondary to theak that you're giving for the sake of to you can never give more money to save the whale Steve than you do to a Yesa even if you like the whale even if the whale calls you on the weekends you still cannot give more money to save the whale why because the whale is just a part of creation but the Torah is the reason for creation so you always have to make the tah priority uh so it's nice that some people want to help the world but quite frankly it's a it's a mistake if you're going to do with small money you could do give small money doesn't make a difference but big money it's a mistake to give money to go in general and the reason why is because there are eight billion of them so surely one of those 8 billion will give that guy one of those 8 billion will give those organizations on the other hand Jews there's not many and there's even less that actually give for the sake of T if you look at the Jews are very generous people but most Jews give money to churches and and other things that are against AEM there are very few Jews that actually give for the sake of Torah so you taking let's say your hundred or your thousand or your $10,000 or whatever the amount of money is and you're giving it to go uh you know help the local Zoo get a new lion okay it's you know you're very nice maybe your neighbors are going to like you and says Ah his Steve the lion yeah it's because of him they may like you more but in sh that's not a single Mitzvah there whyem says I gave you $10,000 and you gave it to go save a lion you could have go saved an a for three four five months that the whole world is alive because of him because he learns all night but you want to save the lion okay so you and the lion we go in the same Department you know so you have to choose your money wise you choose your Investments wisely but if it's small money Small Change $2 $5 $10 yeah go do it go do it it's it could even be a k you can do K sometimes you know I I'll I go I stop on the way home there is a traffic light right before I go to uh my house and uh there's always a homeless guy or a poor person in the at the traffic light so anytime the traffic light it's red and I'm stopped there the homeless guy you know knocks on the door and knocks on the uh window and ask for something and if I have a few dollars they give him a couple of dollars but along with the couple of dollars tell them God bless you why because the God bless you is much more valuable than $2 but he also sees that as a Jewish guy $2 okay he's going to have a good impression of Jewish people that to me is worth it but I'm not going to give him $10,000 I'm not going to buy him a new house not even if I had it I wouldn't do it why because if I have $10,000 I'm go help a Jew so you have to choose your Investments wisely allowed but you have to be smart too next Ken thinking that we even have merits at all is a arrogant uh thought process a couple of reasons for that number one who says that you have any merits now you're going to say wait but I did some mitvah who says you did the Mitzvah right who says you didn't make a sin while you're doing the mitvah and better yet who says you don't have more sins than MIT so counting our merits is a prideful mistake we have to count on Mercy we we do we try to accumulate as many merits as possible but we have to learn from our sages what do our sages say the only reason we have a Tor today is because of him now you had the Kash already from Mount sa but none of us would be able to even read the read the I'm not talking about understanding read it without the oral Torah because the oral tah has multiple Parts it's not just the laws and the argument ments it's also the vowel system the vowel system that allows us to read the Hebrew alphabet unlike English that has letters that are the vowels in Hebrew there's Nik there's dots that's part of the oral Tor was even before so lived at the time of the mdash on his deathbed he starts crying hysterical the student says Renu why are you crying you're you're the P You're the hammer of the nation you shouldn't be crying you down death but you going G no Zak says to his students I know that I'm about to meet the king of kings if I was going to meet a king of Flesh and Blood and he would punish me that punishment would be based on time I'm going to meet the king of kings whatever punishment it is it's eternity if I was going to meet a king of Flesh and Blood I could entice him I could bribe him but I'm going to meet the king of kings you can't bribe him you can't entice him and you want me to not be scared I'm going to meet the king of kings and I don't know if they're going to take me toed or to I don't know shortly later he says make room stand up because has come to take me to so we see obviously not only goes to ganeden but one of the most righteous people that ever lived came to take him to ganeden but why why did he have such Merit because he never ever saw himself as meritorious why how do I know I'm doing everything right maybe the yet has been fooling me the whole time to make me think that one of the mitv that I'm doing is really a mitvah in reality it's a sin so never count on your merits although you have to do as much as possible to accumulate as much as possible always count on uh excuse me on a uh mercy and that's why there's a v v means we do it every day Vu means that you admit your sins you don't admit your there's no section of the Torah of your sidu will you admit your but what do you admit every day you say I'm sorry I made a sin accidentally on purpose to make you mad all types of things and you go over the entire book of sins on yum Kip that prayer is an hour long all the different types of sins that we made all all most of it having to do with Kusha meaning with wasting seed and things of that nature immorality is an entire section of right before the the end of Yip about IM morality about sex crimes so V means we're admitting means we're sorry we we apologize for it but before the comes admit admit that you have mistakes admit that you're a sinner once you admit you're a sinner okay then we can start then you can start talking to but as long as we deny where we really stand then we're too prideful to even talk to so always always rely on Mercy although you have to accumulate as much Merit as you possibly can to the best of your knowledge of course always make sure that what you're doing is not your own logic but rather it's written in the T itself next question Ken if I'm not follow I'm not understand the question I just don't understand what the question is again yeah okay oh you pointing a person pointing a knife at somebody else why is he pointing a knife at somebody else why like threatening them or something like that yeah uh okay well the the uh so okay so the uh we learned from we learned from M where he saw that there was two Jews fighting two Jews fighting the book of Exodus says he saw two Jews fighting and uh arguing and one Jew raised his hand and he says why you being rash you're about to hit your brother he didn't hit him but he was already determined to be a rash why as soon according to the Tor according to just raising your hand and threatening somebody already makes you already makes you why because you're not even allowed to threaten anyone needless to say if you can't do it with with a hand obviously you can't do it with a knife so anyone that's doing it is a rash you're not allowed to do it as a joke there's no such thing as a joke uh so person that's joking has to do Chua same thing with making fun of people not all to make fun of people all these standup comedians there's a special place for them for G over there all the stand up comedians that make fun of the crowd it's very special section for them why you're not like to make fun of them not like make fun of people even if the person comes knowing that they're going to pick on him still not allowed to still not allowed to you have to treat every Jewish very very carefully unless this is a person that's a rash that's a person that's a heretic that goes against theem a person like that you have to destroy him but again you can't assume someone is this or that so as far as threatening somebody with a knife not allowed but does that make the knife itself not to my knowledge because in order for something to be it has to actually uh swallow it has to absorb the uh certain things either non kosher food or or otherwise it doesn't become just by simply waving it in the air uh it could be cabalistic speaking cabalistic not ala cabalistic speaking it could be that it's not a good idea to use this knife since it was technically a weapon or used for for threat it could be for for cabalistic reasons but that's not and we go based on once we are experts in then we all become cabalists but until we all become experts in cabala is something to learn for for for you know for for interest and so on but not to make judgments on not to make a uh your lifestyle based on cabala we're we're all struggling with the basics of Al cabala is far far away from us next question yes ah very good so why do Jewish why do different Jewish Customs have different ways of pronouncing Hebrew well first and foremost we should know that the ones that are closest to being correct about their Hebrew as far as the pronunciations are the yemenites the ones everybody makes fun of the yemenites the ones that are in third world country they're actually right and everyone knows it they say we say ah they say k we say k or you know we don't say right we don't speak right asazi none of usit they speak they're the closest but everyone is still stuck to their tradition why because when you live in different parts of the world different things different Customs different things change so for example even though all of us speak English but if you or I go to the UK in in two seconds they say oh you're American how you know I'm American I speak English you speak English yeah but your English and my English as a as a as an Englishman is a world apart the way you pronounce things or if you go to Canada you go to Canada and they say oh you're American or if the Canadian comes over here you know he's Canadian even though you're both speaking English or perhaps if none of you are from New York if you're all born in Florida you go to New York and say oh you're not from New York are you why and you're going to know that New Yorkers from New York why because he says New York you're saying New York you actually pronounce the r so it's just in essence you lived in a different part of the world and certain things change it doesn't necessarily make it uh right or wrong if you will it's just Traditions it's more Customs but the reason why no one is really willing uh to change their ways uh is because they have a Mas from their grandparents and we have a teachings that you're not allowed to abandon the M of your grandparents some of the more stringent on the language um were uh you know that even if their M said otherwise when they knew it was wrong they didn't keep it for example but when he would say he would say is maybe 20 times until he got it right he would keep saying it over and over again until he was satisfied with the way he said it why because you know that the says you have to pronounce the words of the correctly and if not it's a mistake it's you may not even fulfill the so he knew that the way that the asazi custom is wasn't right so he knew that this he had to do it and that's why but some others are not as stringent about that as they are because again they have they still have something to rely on as far as the you know the uh the have t have saf it's like an S so when you go to Israel and you start pronouncing the the S people going to look at you like which country did you come from buddy where does this where does this St come from that's mostly Comon in America but if you go and in Europe you go to Israel even theim speak most of the time like sometimes also you see that the customs of this of the Asim in America are different than theim in Israel even though they're both Asim they're slightly different for example for the most part in America don't do V don't do every day some do but most of them don't in Israel most of them do just like the most of them pray from the whereas here is the opposite why because the in America had a certain tradition had a certain tradition and that's also partially the difference between the talmi and talmud B talmi was written by the in Jerusalem was theim that lived in Babylonia in Iraq now thei was written first but what we study today mostly most of the that study today one day will join them to actually be called that what we study we study the Tam B why do we study the Tam B if the original the closest to the source of Mount was the Yushi because the Yi when they wrote what they wrote they only had their tradition all the way from Mount sa the oral tradition but the B the Babylonian had knowledge of thei also because it was already out so they read it also so in essence they added a lot of the Yushi to the B so when you're studying The Tam in essence you're almost covering all of it you're almost covering all of it a few instances here and there I mean you see that there is slight differences but in general the uh the common uh the common uh thing that learned today is mainly the B the Babylonian tud but once you've completed the Babylonian tud several times then you start learning the also it's not abandoned completely Shalom but it's uh studied less and the other reason why it's studied less is because there's less commentary on it for example T from Al from the beginning of the T all the way to the end has commentary by the by the to by Rashi and all the much of it doesn't have commentary which makes it very very difficult and nearly impossible for most people in the world to study it because you have no idea what's going on without commentary in reality don't waste your time people that study the or the tan without commentary they might as well be Christians why you have no idea what you're talking about if you're going to read the Torah literally you're going to arrive at a different religion you're not going to be able to understand it you need the commentary by the so this is also in essence part of the tradition part of the M as far as the what's right what's wrong I mean everyone knows that there is a certain things to do certain things not to do but if you have a m that um tells you that you're supposed to pronounce certain things a certain way and there's no reason for you to abandon it uh but if you are more attracted to uh let's say pronouncing the words in a safari way in your asazi there's also nothing wrong with that either um quite frankly sometimes it's uh it's a uh annoying to hear some of these when it's not your like for example some when they say Amen everybody knows that is and spelled a certain way where it's everyone knows it's a nowhere in the Torah say all but many what do they say om where did you get o and where did you get M I don't know but they got it that's their tradition let's not make them wrong no it's their tradition it's their tradition but to me sared guy it's like what are you saying the first few times I heard him like no no it's a man it's I didn't know I'm like it's a man I tried to correct the guy goes he looked at me like I just fell off a tree goes I'm looking at him like he fell off the tree all cuz he's saying oh I'm saying ah and we have no idea what's going on eventually we realize that both good friends now next next question yes is committ every single sin ever committed depends how many sins a person has if the person has a uh few sins then yes if a person has murdered raped and uh and violated every part of the to no I mean it's a uh it's it's not a uh it's not possible because the truth is is that there are certain sins that it's not enough to just say I'm sorry there are certain sins for example like wasting seedat it's not enough to just start keeping Shabbat and watching your bleed you have to actually do some serious Chua not only stopping it but also encouraging others to stop it and also do you have to do certain prayers and certain that you would give specifically for the repentance of this sin and there is one particular sin that you simply cannot do chuva for it as long as you're alive and that's the sin of most likely all of us are guilty of it at least once twice or maybe more in our life the way to fix is by K if you want to fix while you're alive you have to do with K so could be you playing with your phone in the middle of a lecture that's why is it cuz another guy that's listening to the lecture but he decides to look and he sees he's looking at he's playing with the phone like you know what maybe this maybe this Le is not interested so I'm going to play with my phone also next thing you know you got 50 kids playing with their phone that's it's all your fault it's all your fault now you go to say I don't know what I'm G do for you my son I don't know you went to lecture it was better off you stay home why instead of 50 hundred kids listen and doing ch they looked at you by the end of the lecture everybody was playing with their phone why cuz it looked like fun you were playing a little Tetris and you were checking your Facebook profile it looked like fun for them so they did it also that's that's one small example of so how you gonna fix that is sanctifying K's name what are you going to do say okay you know what I messed up so what I'm going to do next to you not only I'm not going to play with the phone but I'm gonna bring 10 friends with me I'm G bring 10 20 kids to the SHO to help them do Chua why because the is so good I know it's gonna be good for them that's something that's could be so that's gonna be beneficial for a person so this takes time why sometimes there's no sh sometimes you can't bring the people sometimes it takes you a few sh to get the point you know different things so can a person do Chua completely in in in a few days theoretically yes likely unlikely simply because uh you know you need to know all your sins first but uh can you improve your status tremendously absolutely absolutely if a person commits to improving themselves takes action on improving themselves if they have money use the money wisely if they are already learning take on themselves even more meaning if they take the chuva process seriously they can improve their status tremendously and already start getting blessed and rewarded while they're doing Chua you don't have to wait for reward until you finish Chua you could start literally getting rewarded while you're getting Chua rewarded meaning that hasm is going to help you and help your life uh as a result of what you're doing um but if a person is just going to say wait if I can't do all of it then I might as well do none of it that's the talking that's the talking next question yes the back um let's say woman so the although the is already put into the body on the 40th Day according to thear on the 40th Day the goes from the place in heaven called goof and is put into the physical goof there's a place in heaven called goof where all the are and hasem picks a certain and he decides to put this into the body how does this whole process happen as soon as the seed enters the woman the um the angel Laya An Angel by name of Laya takes the seed and asks hem what will be with this seed will it be alive or no will it be uh tall short male female Rich poor and so on and so forth everything is decided at that moment and it's officiated in essence it's put into effect and put into that uh into uh that uh embryo on the 40th Day that's also when uh scientifically they also confirmed that the brain waves and the Heart begins at the same time 40th day but we had the knowledge before we had the machines because our knowledge came from where a scientist needed a few uh big plastic pieces to tell him this now even though the is put into the body at that moment if the woman is already in the process of conversion and it's authentic conversion it's not a fake reformed conversion or conservative conversion meaning she is serious about conversion she's serious about taking on all of the mitv she's serious about keeping Shabbat and everything else she's serious about modesty and so on and she ends up completing the conversion by dipping into the mikve after being approved by a uh recognized bedine a kosher bedine Orthodox bedine they question she passes the test then she dips into the mikve she becomes Jewish and the baby inside her also becomes Jewish 100% but if she converts one day one hour even after the baby is in the world of already meaning she just gave birth just gave birth just now and somehow miraculous say okay Finish birth okay Yellow clean up let's go to the m let's go to the mik even though she becomes Jewish the baby becomes Jewish subject to repeated approval at the age of 12 or 13 why because if it's a boy it has to go back to the bed at 13 years old and be questioned again if they want to remain Jewish or not if they say yes they remain Jewish forever if they say no they remain a forever unless they convert again later on but in Ence they have to get subject to repeated approval why because he's already in the world even though he's only a day old doesn't matter but if it's still if it's in her stomach it's part of her it's considered as if it's a body part it's considered as if it's a body part so it's if somebody's is already in the process of conversion it would uh behoove them to try to do everything possible uh to uh you know to complete the conversion before they give birth but again it's uh not necessarily uh always or even ever uh up to the person that's trying to convert when they're going to convert it's really a decision of both the sponsoring Rabbi as well as the bedin mostly the bedine deciding uh if they want to convert this person or not next question yes so it says in the uh the the book of Isaiah it goes off of the verse from Isaiah so says everyone in Israel has a share of the world to come so but then you go to the rest of that M says yeah all of have a share of the world to come except the following and it goes in 10 pages full of people that do not have a share of the world to come wait but you just said everyone that's Jew has a share of the world to come and then you gave me description of pretty much every sinner there is that doesn't have a share of the world to come no share of the world to come someone that was with a married woman no share of the world to come someone weigh seed no share of the world to come someone that uh you know goes against to heretic no share of the world to come someone that says I don't believe in Resurrection of the Dead no share of the world to come and so on and so forth 10 pages of this we just said there is you then you're saying no what's which one is it says yeah everyone comes here with a ticket everyone comes here they have a ticket TOA will it work it's a different story you all come with a ticket to an but if we do not do chuv and keep mitv we're going to go up to heaven and says yes you have the ticket but the ticket expired expired why there was conditions on the ticket there's a ticket to a show there's a ticket to a show and you have a ticket you bought a ticket $500 you show up your family each member six seven eight people bought a ticket you bought everybody you're large you're rich you're this you're that you bought everybody a $500 ticket you all go to the show and say sorry sir you cannot enter what do you mean I have a ticket yes but if you look at the back of the ticket the back of the ticket has conditions it says no shoes no service all of you guys are walking barefoot you cannot come to the show it also says you have to wear a suit all of you guys are wearing underwear cannot enter the show so yes you have a ticket but you did not follow the rules of the ticket so therefore the ticket is null and void so if a person has a ticket and he follows the rules of the ticket he can go to heaven but if what happens if he doesn't what happens to that ticket there's something that was created for him in heaven something really tangible that was actually created so what happens to that place just empty no where does it go it goes to the person that tried to help him do chba you try to make somebody do cha they don't want to listen to you guess what you want anyway why you get there you get the you get another world just for you either way you win if you get them to do chuva you get 310 worlds but if you don't get them to Cha you still you get another world whose World their world either way you win either way you win why cuz there's a ticket next question one in the back you had one yes is it possible to become a na is it possible theoretically uh technically yes you can follow certain things that a person that's a nazil does as far as not to eat meat not to drink wine not to touch a woman and so on but would it be counted as a na no and that's again like you said there's no a uh there's no bet mikdash and there's really uh no real permission to do such a thing because uh you know to be a Naz you have to be uh KES it's not just somebody that likes to grow their hair long and be a rock star that's not a na na is KES na is someone that's very very holy but believe it or not a azil gets punished for being an azil even though he's doing something righteous he gets punished for it after he finishes his term let's say he says I'm not going to eat meat I'm not going to cut my hair I'm not going to touch a woman for let's say a month two months six months a year whatever it is at the end he has to bring Corban why hasem says I created things in the world for you to enjoy them I created meat and wine for you to enjoy it how come you didn't enjoy it yeah I was doing a Mitzvah okay you did a mitvah but nobody asked you to do that Mitzvah you did something above above the law there's a benefit there's a minus point being is it's a uh a stringency that we do not have uh the merits to be at to understand what it even means for example there are certain sins that part of the chuva is uh to uh to fast for example the AR writes every time a person Wast seed he has to fast 84 times fast like yum fast he has to fast 84 times times for each time he wasted seed now that means that the average teenager by the time he watched one of my lectures he's already 18 19 years old he probably wasted time he killed a few civilizations so why is he going to fast he pretty much just commit suicide and be done with it no no there is a permission to replace every fast with money how much money the value of a meal let's say it costs $5 for a meal that $5 is the equivalent is the equivalent of one fast so that means if 84 times instead of fasting 84 times one time that a person sinned they have to give $420 that means that the average teenager has to make this part of their life for a long time unless they're very rich but quite frankly uh you know the uh this is usually poor people want to do this type of CHA because they're usually the ones that are more righteous but anyway uh it's a very expensive Chua because it's a very expensive sin but it's either that or it's fasting now there are many mitv that uh many many sins that you would have to fast in order to fix it but since this generation does not know how to fast so the say since you don't know how to fast use money instead so now somebody's going to ask what do you mean you don't know how to fast I can fast why I go fast I fast I fast four or five times a year I know how to fast you don't know how to fast you know I know you don't know how to fast because fasting according to the Torah is not sleeping all day it's not walking like half a dead when's the fast over when's the fast over every Friday it's 12:00 in the afternoon is it over yet no we have another 24 hours buddy oh it's not over yet wow I feel like I'm dying feel like I'm dying you just start woke up an hour ago well are you sure it's there's no like I feel like I'm dying that you're 18 years old what you're dying you can't can I have at least coffee what coffee you're fasting for an hour and a half you sure this is relevant you sure this is like a obligatory fast it's and nobody knows how to fast and even the ones that fast what do they do like half dead when you're really fasting you know what really fasting means really fasting means you remove all of the material in your life all the food all the joy and you replace it with pure Holiness meaning you study tah all day most of us can't study to without a bag of potato chips next to us and some coffee while we're studying what we're eating so you tell a guy study without food you out of your mind what you think let people study with the potato chips yeah just study For Heaven's Sake meaning that in reality fasting most of us don't know how to do it why because when we fast it destroys us so much that it's very very hard for us to function you can maybe take an hour two hours of of of uh of uh studying but most of the time we we're like have like Walking Dead Walking Dead so you have to train yourself meaning get ready to write some checks if you want to do serious chuva but it's not necessarily a bad thing because once you start doing chba and you you use your money uh right then then you show hasem that it's worth it for him to give you more money next question nobody that somebody didn't ask a question or we going to go again to him in the back yes is it possible to connect to somebody that died is it possible yes should we do it no uh there is is a uh mitvah from that says that we're not allowed to bother the dead can a person do it yes there are all types of impure ways there are pure and impure ways of doing it the impure ways are uh very well known uh for example using something called a Ouija board Ouija board actually works but if a person does it it's considered 100% idol worship so yes you could actually hear and and read many famous stories of Jewish people using a Ouija board for example there's a famous story where a bunch of guys from the Army Israeli Army IDF got a Ouija board this is back in the 1970s before most of you were born 12 guys 12 guys got a Ouija board in the Army and uh or 11 guys first then it became 12 later they got a Ouija board and in the idea for some reason they like this stuff and they got a glass and they got a dead uh person to come to them and start talking to them and they would ask him question who what when and how now the dead usually the ones that come to these Ouija boards are not exactly they're not good people and they come at a price and if you don't do certain things they could punish the person and they also know the future because they're not limited to time and space so this n told the 12 the 11 guys and then at that moment another guy came that told the story that the told them that they're all going to die within the next month and then the glass exploded now everybody got shocked everyone got shocked because something physical happened they all got you know they've all used the Ouija board before and they've brought other but no one ever told them they're all going to die but everybody the next day everybody like ah you know doesn't always what they say is not necessarily true not this not that long story short the guy that told the story the 12th guy said over the next month nothing happened nothing happened nothing happened and then all of a sudden they were all in reserve in the army they were all in reserve so they thought oh we're not going to die because we un reserved we un reserved fine right so there's no war how we're going to die suddenly one of the big Israeli Wars broke out all of the reserves were called back into the Army and over the next 24 hours one after another died except the last one that told the story and he's now a rabbi now Rabbi told the story it's a famous story this is one example they talked to the dead and Hashem obviously punished them for it another story is there's a group of uh soldiers that went to a seminar by anden said that one of the famous Zionist leaders is in Gom right now because he cheated on his wife so a couple of the guys that have used the Ouija board before went back to their room and brought this n down they came back after they finished and they said they stopped the seminar and said Rabbi what you're saying is true so everybody looked at these who are these guys what do you mean of course it's true he's a rabbi he's telling the truth no at all he said three hours ago four hours ago that isn't get we just spoke to it and it told us to tell Rabbi again that they just took me out of kafak now I'm going to G home because of what he said because I cheated on my wife with 50 different women so for each woman they put me in kafak one year another famous Story Another Story happened with benon benon was brought in a uh in a Ouija board a uh Seance and the famous story point being is that you can do all of this but if you do it it's 100% idolatry it's dangerous and it will be a very it will be the mistake of your life SEC the Kosher Way of uh dealing with the dead is if there is somebody that's an extremely extremely holy person that has the knowledge and the ability to speak with the the other side using holy names using holy teachings and so on that's also possible there is something called where you could take the of a person and send it to heaven and show it different types of things there's a certain Rabbi in the world that's believed to be able to do it on a regular basis and uh there's even a few videos of what it looks like it looks like he's doing it point being is that is it possible yes is it recommended no why because it's not just about going it's also about returning somebody that goes but does not have the ability or the Merit to return could pretty much become a plant for the rest of their existence so it's a dangerous thing to do it's better not to deal with the dead as far as a debuk a debuk is a form of punishment a debuk is a wicked that enters the body of another Wicked person in order to deliver a message and the most recent debuk happened somewhere around 15 years ago in and was publicized on the news they even videotaped the rabbi and the entire Community Helping take out this debuk from this poor woman who spoke with a different voice and so on and so forth so it is real it is in a toah it's not as common as it used to be in the days of r or some of the other but it does happen today it's almost impossible to find a that knows how to take them out in the days of he was able to take them out uh relatively easil easily uh he knew the exact strategy of how to do it meaning it was only a matter of time and he has a whole book that he write that he wrote and it's actually translated to English about all of the different that he dealt with and who they were and what they said and the whole process like a journal if you will uh very very scary and uh this is actually uh probably the scariest holy book that's written that that was translated to English but nonetheless it does exist it's just less common today uh if a person is uh punished by being uh you know attacked by debuk it's almost unrepairable because there we don't have the that we had in previous generations that can do it so it'll be a very very difficult thing in the old days it was one rabbi helping the person today you literally need that one big Rabbi and entire Community to help him because not just knowledge it's also Merit so uh it's uh it's no walk in the park let's put it that way but it is real it is real next question yes uh yes you can make Chua for sins that are on purpose you can make Chua sins that are not on purpose you can make Chua yes so the thing is though is that it's the be chuva is a four-step process the first step of chuva is to stop sinning so the commitment to stop sinning usually should already be before Yip and the uh but if you haven't stopped sinning the commitment to stop sinning also could be on y itself that from now on I'm not going to drive on Shabbat from now on I'm not going to go with girls anymore until I'm married and so on and so forth it should be done beforehand but even if it's not a person could still do CH on but that's the first step first step is stopping second step is to make a fence meaning put a border for yourself to make sure that you do not expose yourself to the things that entice you to sin so for example if a person is having a tough time watching his eyes uh and he knows that every time he goes to a certain neighborhood every time he goes to Lincoln Boulevard he he looks at anything that moves so he makes a new rule for himself what's the rule from now on I'm never going to Lincoln Boulevard that's it that's the rule why because I know that if I'm going to go to Lincoln Boulevard I'm going to go to Fifth Avenue or I'm going to go to all these different places for sure I'm going to sin so my rule is to make my cha seriously is not just stop the ACT but not even expose myself to anything that will entice me will trigger me to want to sin that's the second step the third step is to regret it what does it mean regret it regret it means that you've learned enough about the sin and distance yourself enough from the sin to understand the magnitude of the sin that takes some time regret logically we think it should take it should be the first step that's why I'm doing Chua but it's not it's the third step and the reason why is because we don't really understand the magnitude of the sin until we've distanced oursel from the sin you don't understand that we are part of the stench until we leave the garbage for a while if somebody works in a public bathroom they could even eat a sandwich inside the public bathroom because they they don't smell anymore but once they leave the public bathroom for a while they left for a few hours or even for less for for for a day and they come back the next day the first second they smell it like everybody else why cuz they were away for it for a while meaning we have to be away from the sin for a while in order to understand the magnitude of the damage in order the magnitude of the smell the stench that we created spiritually in the world so that's why the third step is Regret because you can't regret something that you don't really know the magnitude of it and once a person has reached that third level Hashem gives them a test what's a test he gives them a test of that sin again so if let's say that sin is let's say looking at something immodest hasem sends something immodest his way if he has the opportunity to sin again and he doesn't then Hashem signs off he's about Chua his sin is erased he has to go through that whole process where hasem has to testify he's about Chua I gave him the opportunity to sin he didn't sin but that's because he did the first three steps he really in his heart he's about Chua now what happens if after a while while of him being about CH he falls again starts over but the old sin is still erased the old sin is still erased it's just this is a new sin all of a sudden and he has to do the whole process again but nonetheless he was about once he arrived at that so Yip is a time for us to take advantage because that's a time that Hashem is uh deciding what's how much more time he's going to give us to uh to do cha how much more time he's going to give us to uh get closer to him how much he's going to help us how much he's not going to help us and so on and so forth so Yip is a very critical day for to decide uh in essence really uh how much more uh he's looking to invest into US many times you see that people have major sufferings right before that's actually because hm is trying to clean them up of their sins so by the time they arrive to him they're in essence already parti they already paid for part of their sins but sometimes you see like my cousin who was 23 years old and died on the second day of fell off a scooter that's it he had a little scooter He Slipped he fell on his head went to the hospital they checked him in the hospital said we did the scans everything is good go home same day few hours later he goes home says you know what I'm tired I'm going to go relax he went to sleep never woke up second day of meaning said no more sometimes you see somebody two months after sometimes two months before point being is that R is Judgment Day for the entire creation Yip is an appeal an appeal of what happened to meaning if in case we did not get favorable judgment on we have another chance to increase and improve our case improve our file so this is a time to take chuv very very seriously next question yes excuse me what is the main thing you should be concerned about are consequences Notting oh if a person if a person waste seed intentionally and dies without doing chuba the uh T says in that there are certain people that go to the seventh level of Gom and do not leave he's one of them person that Wast seed without doing CH goes to G and does not leave ever until the is destroyed there's no two opinions about it this is the only opinion that exists in the Torah so if he wasted seed unintentionally it's still G but it's not forever but if he if he did it himself whether he did it with his own body or he did it with with a woman that's not his wife or he did it with a woman a Jewish woman it's not his wife or he did it with a non-jewish woman or he did it with his own wife but he used a uh condom or he ejaculated outside of her body or he went with a girlfriend but she uh wasn't looking to get pregnant so they were using a pill or so on and so forth or he was with a Goya meaning a woman he's not allowed to have a baby with the Jewish woman he's not allowed to a baby with is not allowed to have a baby with he did it and he wasted seed all of these are considered wasting seed if he dies without doing CH he goes to Gom and he never leaves so that means every single one of you that's here every single person that's going to watch this section of the lecture has a special treatment from hasem you now know something the 99.9 99% of the population doesn't even know and that includes the religious people in this generation many people are so ignorant about this specific sin that they forgot that that everyone agrees with whether you're sat orad or youres or yourik or asazi or Lish or Y everybody agrees except the yemenites or the uh the uh ramban but that's still the same thing in essence everyone says someone was seed G it's the worst sin in the world you have a privilege right now what's the privilege you now know the magnitude of the sin which means loves you enough to do CH why he gave you the information you now have you now possess the information what you do for me is your problem meaning you cannot go up the sh whenever hasm decides and say no no I didn't know no look on that date a week before sh your own ruen over there he told you what happened happens you didn't want to listen because you said no no he's crazy I asked my local Rabbi he says he's crazy okay so you listen to local Rabbi why because that fits your lifestyle so that means that you have you possess information that's very very critical that could save your you could use that information for good you could just ignore it it's up to you up to you next so now I'm going to tell you guys something very interesting how much time do we have oh it's still early okay so now that we finish with the introduction I'm going to tell you guys something very interesting we're going to answer the question is it better in Judaism to be more strict or no now my dear Tam initially said yes more more stringent you heard Naomi said no no he's no good yes good everybody's confused why because one an say it's good to be stringent we heard from the story of he was stringent in regards to shaking hands it's good thank you but but sometimes it's not good one is it not good we heard a different story yesterday somebody came to him one of the came to him and said Rabbi can I uh from now on get your permission to wear my all day so I can study while I'm wearing all day like the says no why know even though it's a Mitzvah even though it's fantastic he says if this addition this additional stringency will make you think in your heart that you're better than everybody else in the one time your whole life it's not worth it why would you think you're better cuz you have 500 people in the and you're the only one that's put on so dis it's going to be distinguishable so in essence even if they're not saying anything to you you're going to see yourself you say wait I'm wearing nobody else is wearing you're going to feel good about yourself if you feel good about yourself that you're better than anybody else one time in your entire life and that's Essence that that dust of Pride enters your heart it was better off you never added the stringency why because that's how much Hashem hates Pride so we see that stringency has a time and place now the interesting part is that in both cases there's a permission from the Tora to do there's a permission from the Tora not to do meaning the came to his Rabbi says it says in the Tora to do it but the rabbi said no why because he knows a student in essence the rabbi is right for saying no at time ofad there is a leniency to shake hands but the rabbi said no why could it and so on and so forth meaning that it's not black and white but in both cases you see that there is it's not just the black and white law there's also something called D the opinion of the T based on this specific situation what happens when you do not seek the opinion of the Torah and you seek your own opinion I mean after all created You In His Image no it's so special your opinion should count for something no after all you're smart you finished a few some people even call you Rabbi your opinion no says someone that does not seek the assistance of a rabbi meaning someone that does not ask his Rabbi questions and in essence becomes their own rabbi page 109b says who hates this person why because in essence they're so Pride proud that they think they know everything and we have one of the stories that you can listen if you understand what I'm about to say to you you may have to grab out your chairs some time ago I told you of a story that's in the page 4B it says that there was a certain woman that the Satan decided to take out of the world but by mistake mistake B one of the T was friends with the Satan Satan likes sik so he came to him he says you want to you want me to show you what I do he said yeah so the uh was shown by the Satan how the Satan takes out so uh Satan tells one of his servants go bring me the uh of the caretaker go bring me and the Ser goes brings a Isam Satan tells her hey it's the wrong Miram I didn't ask you for this mam to wrong mam okay so should I bring this one back goes no this one leave it anyway go bring the other one anyway we have to bring it it's time for her to die so it's a peculiar story and then we go into the details how who what when and hand but we're not going to go into that because we've already discussed that in the past but just remember now who's this Mam and why does she deserve to die I mean we should know her name is mentioned if it was just some woman that it doesn't matter who she is then why mention her name if it's your name is mentioned there's a reason for it meaning there's significance here of who and what and how who is this you're not going to find that in page 4 B you're going to find it somewhere else you have to go to last page page says what are the a appropriate ways for a woman to behave and for a husband to let a woman behave he says there are some husbands that the way they eat is the way they treat their wife in essence some people that if they see a fly in their drink fly in their drink they take the uh fly out and drink the water he says that's normal that's a normal husband that's a person that allows his wife to deal with regular people not to Bent her around and start talking to every guy on the street and so on but if it's family if it's friends if it's hello it's goodbye General basic Behavior he's the bank teller here's the money uh thank you very much basic stuff normal necessary conversation this is what it represents because today any one of us sees a fly in our drink we throw it out but that's because we're all rich in comparison to the people of 2,000 years ago back then you know if uh if you weren't Rich you weren't going to throw out the water right away so someone that just saw there something fly in their water they would take it out and drink it that in essence makes them normal representing a normal husband a normal husband which in essence he allows his wife to act normal if there's a uh let's say uh a UPS guy comes to the house she's able to enter the door all thank you very much goodbye takes the Box no problem it's allowed to take the box she's not hugging the guy she's not saying hey how's your family where's your cage where you guys vacation no that's not allowed but just basic conversation thank you very that no problem that's normal normal behavior no problem says then there's a guy that say R what's this guy that's guy that's that allows his wife to go out without modesty sleeveless and without and he doesn't care he doesn't care even if she goes into a bath house and there's still men there he's like a guy that sees the fly and drinks the fly with the water he doesn't care about nothing that's but then there's a guy that sees the fly throws out the fly and the water together he throws out everything says that's extreme fanatic Behavior like who like a person by name of papus Ben Yuda who's papus Ben Yuda pap Ben yud lived at the time of the it says the papus Ben yud saw that his wife was one of the most beautiful women alive something special and he want he says there's no way that people are not going to look at her no way so for modesty reasons honesty reason honey whatever you need I'll get it for you go on amazon.com order whatever you want you don't need to go to the store you don't need to go to the mall you want something I'll give it for you but you're not allowed to leave the house not to leave the house no store no Deli no not no work nothing whatever you need I'll bring it to the house no problem and Pap Pap would leave the house and lock the door behind him not allowing his wife to leave the house the most she can do was look outside the porch to see the the outside and the says this you think she's modest because of this you think he's aad because of this says look what happened on Yip on Yip Pap's wife the same from the say it says she's had it Papu says to her I'm going to shadik fasting go pray all day see you tomorrow he leaves he leaves this this called ysep pend notices the husband left and he knows Miram from back in the day goes Mam Mam when are you ever going to come out and Miram says she's so annoyed already she hasn't been out of the house in so long she says ysf when are you going to save me he says today climbs to the house takes out of the house and they run away together and sin a adultery on now we say what happened from the sin what happened from the sin is they had a son their son who is their son don't jump the gun yet don't start naming names yet don't start naming names not nice their son is named in the but if you read unless you know what wrote in his all the commentary from the you're not gonna know what why page 104b says are we allowed to draw on our hands draw on our hands make marks on our hands with our fingers is that violating Shabbat is that considered writing and it says well it should be considered writing because they um there was a person by name of Ben Ben he wrote all types of Witchcraft on his skin he wrote all types of Witchcraft on his skin and uh because anytime you would uh get the Witchcraft the Egyptians would catch you at the border and they would want you to take the the Witchcraft with you because that's their in essence that's their possession that's their stuff so he couldn't write the spells on paper so he wrote it on his skin say oh so he wrot wrote it he wrote on his skin and it worked says no no we don't learn we don't learn from crazy people we just so says who's this Ben who is this Ben Ben means Ben the son of the Wayward woman who's the Wayward woman the says the Wayward woman is the same that cheated on her husband papus Ben Yuda with ysf Ben so who is the son okay this is the way the way word woman she cheated says of a lifetime who's this son that's how he came to the world from what from his mother cheating on our original husband with some that's how yeshu came to the world where they come from modesty as a modesty is in who asked you to be that modest you lock yourself in a house meaning AB that when a person does not listen to D and double checks themselves even your mitvah can turn into the biggest sin that's ever happened in history how many millions of Jews have died because of this sin that looks like a mitvah she wanted to be modest inside the house he wanted it to be modest inside the house no guy ever sees no one even sees on her who asked you to do this who asked you there are permissions to do certain things there are restrictions to not do certain things a person needs to know what to do what not to do based on a not based on their logic now when a person takes things to their own mind and they start deciding this is the this is comes from Pride because they assume they're right and they don't have to double check all of us have pride this is why had mercy on us and he allowed us to write the the oral tah as well why because now we can't use it use this Pride as an excuse why because you could find out whether you're right or wrong by simply asking a rabbi by simply looking at at is what you said and what you think really WR in a book in a or is it simply your own idea that you're trying to be overly righteous says don't be overly righteous don't be more righteous than what the Torah says so does that mean that every woman could just talk to anybody no does that mean that every woman has to be closed up and be so M as that no one ever sees her no so what does it mean then it means you have certain things and that's what we're going to go over now get off get off the FL go back in your chair now page 66a says he concerned themselves with the issues of protecting is protecting he took care of all types of Jewish Women and talks about all types of swears people make a vow to do something and if you say a vow you don't keep it you have a serious problem but there are certain conditions that you could break a vow you have to get or three to to to allow you to break it so is says there was a certain person that made a vow what's the vow not to marry his niece in those days it was very common to marry your niece in fact it was meritorious to marry your niece your your sister's daughter says there's already love and affection between the family it's allowed it's not a sister shalom it's the niece it's a sister's daughter but this guy says no no I'm not marrying her even though say it's a good thing I'm not marrying her why I'm not marrying her because she's ugly she's ugly I don't want to marry her she looks like Sab she doesn't not for me nose over here eyes over here not for me no so they brought the girl the parents brought the girl to R isma it says look now that our own Uncle doesn't want to marry her no one's going to want to marry her why it looks bad for the whole family so is told his daughters take care of her beautify her beautify her they started taking care of her putting some makeup did her hair do do do all manic your pedicure uh redone everything redone after she finished he brought himself brought her to this Uncle he says my dear son is this the one that you made a NE not to marry no no no of course I want to marry her no no I didn't mean it I didn't mean it and at that moment says beautiful it's only poverty that makes them ugly why because they can't take care of themselves similar to the situation we had in Egypt the women made themselves ugly on purpose they put ashes on their face and so on why because they were scared if they look beautiful then the Egyptians would raped them but generally speaking are beautiful women now thear continues and it says that there was a husband that had it with his wife he says I'm making a I'm making a vow that unless RAB is himself finds one thing good about you one beautiful thing about you I'm getting divorced and says one of the conditions that a husband could divorce his wife is if she's ugly that's so now it's a little funny story but it's not funny why because you see what's going on how much how much are worried about now he can't just divorce her he has to get the permission of the rabbi so he says go to the rabbi and I want him himself to give me something good about you that's how ugly you are so this poor woman goes to is andish is not meeting her the people he says his daughter go deal with her you tell me what they tell them what's going on hband say he's going to divorce her because she's ugly and unless you can find something good about her he wants a divorce he want permission to get divorced so says well maybe she has a really nice round head maybe it's really nice her head is really round and the daughter said no head is like an egg it's like an egg so from here to here she don't have a nice head says maybe maybe she has nice hair nice hair maybe it's curly maybe it's straight shiny something go no her hair is like a bush tree going in all directions like she got electrocuted no here so he said says maybe she has nice eyes pretty eyes nice pretty eyes you know nice green eyes brown eyes some eyes not goes she has eyes like a cow there cir Perfect Circle what kind of eyes this woman has so then they says okay so maybe she has nice ears has nice ears maybe her ears are nice meaning he's looking for permission to find something nice about this girl so she can stay married who's going to marry this troll so says what nice ears her ears are thick and heavy and fat she has she has she has the the the beats the Beats headphones on her on her ears without the Beats that's ears says okay says okay maybe she has a nice little nose nice little cute little peachy knows something knows says what no this girl what she has her nose looks like it's indented in our face okay maybe she has nice lips has white lips what lips her lips are thick they're like a whale say her lips baby she has a nice neck oh neck her neck is crooked says okay maybe she at least has a nice stomach she goes what nice stomach it's several people she she when she moves you know it's like the Earth is moving with her she makes a spin the year ends oh no it's not like stomach okay maybe she has nice legs at least she has nice legs he's asking his daughter go find something nice about this poor girl while we all laughing at our expense he's trying to find something nice maybe she has nice legs a real she has nice legs goes no our legs are like the duck thick on top thin on the bottom we're not even sure how it's holding up all this weight maybe she has a nice name this is what a name her name is means like dirt is like it's dirt ah says R Ismael ah I found the thing that's nice what's nice her name is appropriate to her body just like she's a BAL she has a deformed body the name belongs to this body no get he has to stay with her that's how much is loved the daughters of why now he says okay let this guy go find somebody else poor girl who's going to she be with he has to find something but he can't invent the law says Ah I found something nice what's something nice her name is nice her name belongs to her body sometimes you have some girl that she's called Sunshine but she only brings death to the world her personality is dark she's called Sunshine but she's dark you know sometimes you have a girl named s but she's depressed Sim happiness but she's a manic depressant so here he says the name matches the body that's how wise the are but also how much they love now but here what do we learn that has to do with our issue goes over every single body part meaning that beauty is not outside of Judaism it's not prohibited to be beautiful it's not asso it's not unfounded the the people that don't know tah think that Jewish people people like these dark people always wear black always like depressed or something you know like all hiding in some cave that's the opposite of the tah why because we see here that beauty is very much part of Judaism they talk about it all the time going to the details of body parts beautiful nose beautiful hair beautiful this beautiful that meaning that you're perfectly allowed to be beautiful so where does modesty come from say says that beautiful looks is perfectly fine as long as it's not unlady likee and vulgar meaning as long as it's notf or Gus unladylike meaning she's walking like she's some Street trash she's walking around like she belongs to the world woman walks around uncovered a whole body sees you have to ask her are you a piece of garbage no you're not a piece of garbage then how come you're allowing everybody to look at you no one allows strangers to look at what's inside the house but nobody cares if you look at their garbage why are you treating as a why are you treating your body as a piece of garbage allowing everybody to look at you allowing everyone to look at your skin how come so that's not ladylike you're treating your body like it's a piece of garbage anyone's allowed to look at it so if she's beautiful it's not a problem but if she's unladylike in her behavior in her clothing if she's exposed she's a uh or she's wearing something that attracts attention she's where she wears certain clothes that are extra tight meaning that it doesn't matter what color she's wearing it doesn't matter what pattern she has on it doesn't even matter what she has why cuz she pretty much left nothing to the imagination she walks around it might as well she walked around naked why cuz it's so tight our entire image of our body everybody knows everybody knows so that's attractive or she wears certain patterns of certain certain types of uh things where she has clothing with words on her chest or certain design just on the chest or pointing to the chest or the other body me parts that are you know that represent that so that's not allowed why the whole thing is blank except the part with the chest it has Nike on it it has fendy has something on it so what is every going to look at Naturally just that part where the words are they're just going to look at that or there was one dress some woman asked me if uh is this is this modest and you see that the dress is beautiful modest M beautiful unfortunately the the the company was an Arab company cuz they're the only on that sell M clothes today but anyway said oh beautiful but it's not allowed why it's not allowed has nothing to do with Arabs you're allowed to buy from Arabs if it's mod you're allowed why is it not allowed because if you look at the design on that specific dress it points exactly has a certain design that points directly at the top and directly at the bottom meaning those specific Parts no one is going to think about anything else other than those two things the the the the uh outfit covers the body but the design ruins the the whole thing so there are certain clothes that are attracting they're attracting when she walks around she's going to attract people's attention naturally to that part of the body or the the the body the uh clothes is uh not covering a part of the body or it's too tight and so on and so forth but as far as heart being beautiful perfectly fine but there's a Kosher Way of being beautiful meaning look like a lady cover your body make sure that you are not trying to actively attract attention you're allowed to be beautiful but if you're wearing a wig that's three foot long and when you walk around it's like one of these fancy horses you find in the movies walking around with their Fancy Tails the same thing as your hair guess what what do you you what Rabbi ever told you that wig is kosher forget the part what Rabbi in the history of man ever said that this long wig is kosher you all corrup it's like the horse left the uh left the uh commercial he came to your house what happened who says this allowed who does it allow it's not modest it's not modest needless to say the whole issue with a the wigs coming from India but that we've already covered many many times the point is is that when a woman is looking to be modest it doesn't mean she has to make make herself ugly in fact she's not allowed to make herself ugly she's not allowed to make herself ugly on purpose she has to be beautiful for her husband and she has she's allowed to look decent all the time but she's not allowed to do certain things that are specifically going to attract attention wearing specific type of clothes specific type of streaks specific types of cuts and so on and so forth but if AEM bless blessed her with beauty you have a nice and the has diamonds on it perfect yeah but it's going to bring attention let it bring attention everybody's going to know you're a queen and you have diamonds on your head hopefully they'll follow the mitvah you're beautifying the Mitzvah you're beautifying the mitvah there's nothing wrong with that's perfectly fine oh the dresses are really expensive okay let it be expensive that's where you have money in the world if it's B let it be expensive no problem it's me going to give you the money back but if it's imod it doesn't matter if it's from the 9.99 store you're still not allowed to write to buy it so beauty is not prohibited immodesty is but immodesty also comes in the form of behavior a woman is allowed as thear said a woman is allowed to have a cordial relationship with Society if there's a uh some type of employee or some type of business or some type of family member uh that's a male he's allowed to talk to her she's allowed to talk to him about things that are necessary excuse me many of theim their wives ran businesses their wives ran businesses so what do you think's wife you know ran a business the uh the G VNA ran a business many of the their wives ran businesses either Farms or little stores and there's many stories about these meaning they dealt with men what do you think they they forced all their customers to be women no they dealt with men as customers that were men no problem they came they bought they sold from them sometimes they had lawsuits against them sometimes they had business transactions with them sometimes it was good sometimes it was bad but whatever was necessary conversation they had no problem at all what's not allowed what's prohibited unne Neary stuff so what's unnecessary stuff unnecessary stuff is an page 7A says we don't make use of women for no reason what does it mean we don't make a use for women for no reason you're not allowed to say hello to a woman for no reason what does it mean say hello to a woman for no reason you're not have to socialize with her you're allow to say hello as the to says over there's commentary confirms as well you're allowed to say hello to a woman hello hello goodbye goodbye no problem but you're not allowed to start hey hello how you doing so where's your husband oh he's not home where did he go oh he's away for the weekend oh he's doing business how the kids where's your mom where is it start asking investigating questions private investigate that you're not allowed why that's necessary conversation but if it's necessary conversation listen I I need to ship something to your house or is your husband home oh you know things like that no problem you're conducting business you conducting family Affairs no problem but if it starts becoming flirting why because we have a story in the Tor there was a woman by the name of schlomit schlomit was a very very nice lady and she's one of the few women that's mentioned in tah by name only unfortunately for her she's mentioned in an unfavorable way why she was so nice she said hello to everybody including the Egyptians and the Egyptian took it seriously so she decided oh she says hi to me she probably wants to be with me and he ended up raping her and from her came the person that cursed hashem's name from the tribe of Dan but they didn't consider him from the tribe of Dan why cuz his father was a but his mom was a was a Jew point is he ended up cursing hashem's name and mosenu killed him gave him a death penalty but why because schit was flirtatious Hello Goodbye how's your wife how's the kids how are you what's going on what are you guys doing for the holidays what are you asking 500 questions wa is this Jeopardy well what's the 5 okay B basic stuff no problem what does it all mean it means that you're allowed to do everything just in a Kosher Way being extreme being stringent is not necessarily always good as we saw from the story of yesu came from something that looks like a Mitzvah protects the beauty of the woman yeah bring her everything to the house wine and Diner but only to you looks like a mitvah maybe it's must in Islam it's aah to to to to have 90 wives and pretty much seclude them to nothingness for them it's aah said no it's not aah why she needs to conduct herself in the world because the Torah knows if you seclude her too much eventually she'll explode needless to say if we do that to our kids telling kids listen not allowed to use f not allowed to use computers not allowed to use cars not allowed to not everything is not allowed guess what one day he's not going to be a kid anymore one day he's not gonna have to listen to you anymore one day he's 18 19 20 25 years old and he's gonna find out a phone that he's not allowed to dka because he's not allowed for 20 years he daa wants it what's this not allowed for me all these years and guess what he sees the phone for the first time and he loses his mind why does he lose his mind why do all these religious kids that were you know contained to the extreme lose their mind as soon as they see a computer for the first time at 20 years old lose their mind as soon as they see see a phone for the first time because they don't have any antibodies when you have a baby you bring your baby to the doctor and the doctors give him a flu shot and give him a tetanus shot and give him all types of shots but in reality what is it the shot is is the actual sickness it's the virus why would you on why in your right mind would you put a virus into a little baby because you're putting the virus on it in him or in her in order for him or her to develop antibodies develop an antibiotic to be to develop a defense mechanism in case it comes back bigger and stronger and out of control that way you have already a defense system that's when you have a defense system if you teach your kids right and wrong if this is a phone you have to use this phone in a certain way this website allowed be.org allowed website not allowed this is allowed this is not allowed teaching them right and wrong that's what teaches them defense mechanism they know that the bad exists and they choose the good to Simply cut out the bad and pretend like it doesn't exist that's asking for problems cuz one day they're going to have access to the bad without any antibodies without any antibiotics without any defense mechanism so they're not going to know what to do so being extreme is not good in that aspect but there are times you have to be extreme when when it comes to character traits if you're an angry person you have to be extreme work on yourself really really hard not to be angry it's hard if you're an arrogant person you have to be extreme do everything anything possible to remove this Pride from your heart you have to be extreme with things like that when it comes to the Torah you have to make sure you know what to do and when to do it last but not least it's known among people that the color red is considered attracting but what most people don't know is that it's not for it's not prohibited all the time most people think red cancer not necessarily true the biggest sapharic Rabbi in the world today the already said we know that red is allowed not only it's it's it's not a it's allowed actually where what's the source he says look in a song every one of us sings on Friday night the uh the woman of Valor it says that ran a business business that support our family and so on she she has linen and purple wool her clothing but which is the biggest expert in the world today in the Hebrew language says that actually is actually not purple it's red and red is allowed so how come so many are saying it's not allowed it says red by itself is allowed red that's attracting is not allowed there are different shades of red different shades of red if it's a normal relatively light type of red perfectly okay no problem it's a red stripe no problem red design no problem but if it's a red like a traffic light no colors allowed if you look at a traffic light black is not allowed if it's a traffic light you're carrying so much attention so the point is is that there are certain things that a person needs to go into the details find out who what when and how don't just assume being the most strict is the best thing to do only a uh an idiot thinks that strict on everything is is Judaism that's not Judaism strictness is actually the exact opposite of the Torah where do we see it from Christianity Christianity said not all oh modesty huh oh we're so holy that our holy men are not even allowed to be with women and our holy women are not allowed to be with men we have nuns and Priests what ends up happening out of this falsehood the priests rape a bunch of little boys and the women the nuns end up also doing it with boys girls the the the priest and anyone in between but it's all behind the scenes so these so-called holy women are the filthiest people on Earth throughout all of histories not my my look at the stories the personal bio stories of the popes the original popes and the popes throughout all of history and their personal lives that was uncovered afteron complete filth and disgusting gone Nish of Life there were murderers rapists adulterers all the sins in the book they committed but in the eyes of the people no we're holy we're not married we no married you're just you're just pretending that's Christianity Islam no different they forced the women to wear this uh this sack in the name of uh righteousness but the rich ones the rich ones that allow their wives to go away once in a while to on vacation they leave Iran because in Iran you show your eye already it's already a death penalty you wink death penalty they kill everybody for fun but once they get on the plane this is a known Thing Once these women get on the plane they take off the black sack that they have on and they all have almost nothing on and they come to America or Europe the filthy most disgusting behavior in the world wait but I thought you're modest no no no wasn't modest as a modest fakers so tah does not say be extreme but also doesn't say be lenient in everything there's times to be lenient there's times to be strict there's times to to do this there's times to do that any idiot can tell you be strict all the time and nothing's allowed but only a will tell you what's allowed and what's not allowed when to be strict when not to be strict so this think is very critical for all of all of all of us get a little bit of from this all of the men also could encourage their wives to watch this with them and we much more righteous than we were over the last year amen amen [Music] oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] a [Music]