(Remove) Obstacles to Teshuva: Shaarei Teshuva 1:51-52 with Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston

[Music] welcome back to the i mean it's called you've been a big midrash it's true we're not really but this is you but as you all know and we are the shari trouba hebora for women of course anybody can listen uh but only women can participate in the live discussion that we have afterwards very lively at times so those who don't have this safer i do suggest purchasing it we are going to be in chapters 51 and 52. this is these are the last two i shouldn't say chapters these are the last two paragraphs of chapter one of char olive and so this is like a finale you know this is like to sum it all up on a certain level we discussed the idea there were 20 breakdowns right 20 bite-sized pieces of how to do chuva and not just the big three concepts okay there are three big concepts don't get me wrong right you have the kharata you have to have the regret right you have the confession and you have the azeeva tahit you have to have this you know willingness this conviction not to sin again what we're going to talk about tonight today wherever you are in the world we're going to discuss uh things that prevent god forbid things that could prevent things that will let's say put you know putting a stick in the spoke so to speak for truva and so if we can avoid these things because they are sins and of themselves so we can avoid them and of course we talk about prayer all the time prayer helps so even if one god forbid did sin or made a mistake or let's say uh you know tripped up stumbled in any one of these we're going to call them 24 things 24 manias uh things that would could could god forbid prevent one from doing true it's not the end of the world uh maybe i shouldn't reveal that to you so it makes it too easy but one could and should struggle still to do truva and it's still possible to do truman that that's what i want to say there's light at the end of the tunnel but if we are cognizant of these 24 evil things that would be a great way that we don't have to work so hard we can what do you call it you know cut it off at the path and we don't have to deal with the consequences if we stumbled in these 24 things so if you prevent yourself from stumbling in these 24 things it'll make truva a whole lot easier so basically we're saying that if you do stumble in these 24 things true is that much harder okay so let's begin with 51. it's called obstacles to trueva we have completed we have um that's the word he uses completed the explanation regarding these 20 individual bite-sized pieces of truva to make it easier let's say more perfect right like the united states uh i think it's the declaration of independence or the constitution i don't know which one ever it is that says right to to make a more perfect union right here we're talking about making a more perfect path to truva that's what the 20 bite size um principles have expressed so now that we've completed them the auto now libra place upon your heart pay attention and really think about and concentrate things that could prevent hold you back stand in the way of full repentance omar so the we said this is ribeno yona this is him speaking okay but he's going to be quoting the greatest golem the greatest rubonium of all times from the rift and the rambam and so forth the ramban okay so those are where these 24 ideas come from so he's obviously quoting earlier sources but he says i want to say that there are these things that stand in your way kimi shi poirek ulo someone who removes the yoke meaning the yoke is something that is sitting on your shoulders it's let's call it a responsibility right someone who removes the casts off the yoke the nik and stumbles in any one of these things tamid on a constant basis their repentance becomes so much more difficult if one did stumble in one of them by the way we're on page 21. now we're turning the page to uh 122. mayhem the amaze they should go like strengthen themselves with such passion and emotion and he says strengthen and fortify yourself to pour out your heart the word siak is speech but it's referring to prayer lish poke to pour out in prayer the rev to fella increase your prayer the really translate this but it's the same idea you're talking about relying on the strength you need hashem to help you fulfill you really need hashem that's why you're praying you're praying to hashem to help you to assist you in um in in accomplishing so he's he uses the terms gird yourself as the azure to gird yourself with courage to in order to fulfill all these principles of chuva the tosi now where is hashem i don't know when we'll get to the fourth chapter but um these this is something you would like to add in terms of everything else that's going to be set forth in the fourth chapter right now we're at the end of the first okay but nevertheless the tim sakha nina the tina t by the virtue of any effort you're going to make in order to really complete your true on the highest level let's say even perfected it god will grant you a tremendous amount of grace and mercy and that's what you're gonna need because if you you cannot do it on your own this is one of the main principles hashem with his grace and love and he also assists you and without his help you really cannot do it just like the it's hara without hashem's assistance you really cannot overcome the aids of hera keeping that in mind now we're starting on paragraph 52 drum roll please because this is it this is the finale rabino yona cites 24 evils that present themselves as obstacles so basically it's enumerated in the riff in basically page six a the rambam in hokkaido the eerie as well in now the very last page let me tell you what page that is on page 126 he makes the same list that we're going to go through but he divides them up into five different categories the first category is going to have four the second category is four the third category is five the fifth the third thing the fourth category is also five and then the last category is five so all together there's 24. i think i mentioned them all no the last one is four okay so even though we're going to go through them in the order that he presents them we're going to review them at the end in a different order okay he groups them together in his genius okay and that's basically the robin yonah even though he presents them as the other sages have presented them he will redo the whole list in a different order categorizing them in groups okay so bear with us he says that these these five basic reasons they provide five basic reasons why these things stand in the way of truth some of the 24 evils cause the actual perpetrator to deny to be denied heavenly insistence for truma now what i want to add at this point is that it's all measure for measure hashem reacts to us it's interesting he's reacting to us measure for measure so you it sounds real what i'm about to say in a sense you control your destiny i mean it's not weird right you control your destiny the outcome on your original attitude and actions okay we call them consequences right everyone is an adult here we're all adults in the room right as children we don't get it yet it takes a while to comprehend but that's part of maturity and growing up realizing that there are consequences to our actions so if you're from you know familiar with other religions i mean there's a famous word people use karma right it's really a jewish concept i would call it what it is measure for measure what you do is going to bring about or cause a certain result okay so if you're going to participate in one of these 24 evils well guess what the result is hashem will remove himself from that relationship to a certain extent he will not provide the heavenly assistance that you need some deprive him of the guidance and or inspiration that you would need so in other words sometimes you do not your whatever you're doing is causing the removal of the heavenly assistance another aspect is that your yourself are you're you're you're depriving yourself of guidance as you'll see because we're talking about making fun of rabbis um well let's we'll get into it so he's just bringing down the different categories at this point some are just hard to rectify some reviewed when we said materia basically you think that what you're doing is a mitzvah you think what you're doing is is i don't know good for the world but really you're destroying the world why would you ever do truth until you finally you know have a wake-up call and realize the damage you've done but as long as you're still in a dishonest mode right you're not clear there's no clarity in your life and you think what you're doing is a mitzvah so why would you do truva right so that's another aspect um you you view what you're doing is very lightly and there's another aspect of habit forming something becomes so hard to change because we all know habits are hard to change right it's just a fact um okay so let's start the escort lock the escort i'm not going to mention what our rabbis have said about this subject he says in gamora well he's quoting the rift basically and as i said there's 24 things that hold back from doing sugar now what i'd like to do is as we go through each one of these 24 things i would like to refer to many of the notes because they're just rich and full of explanation so and lashanahar and he puts them together later on in his list he's going to separate the two as if they're two different things they actually are um let's see is tail bearing right is like a um let's say yes uh we don't have this today maybe they do in certain communities someone knocks at your door and says i have tupperware or i have belts or i have socks right it's a traveling salesman right in fact the way the clear car explains rachel and ragel ragel is like pilgrimage right someone who's walking pedaling a peddler so someone who goes door to door and what they really do they're looking for this the schmutz they're looking for the the juicy i don't know you know soap opera stuff right they're looking for the dirt so that is called a tail bearer lash and hara is a different sin that is actually um disparaging speech damaging speech a lot of it does have to do with intent but nevertheless even if you don't have intent and you do speak disparagingly you're still over allah a lot of something about heart that people don't know is that it's true right mozi shamrock is when you make up a whole story and fabricate it and there's not even a bit of truth lash has truth in it okay so you're this is how i describe blush and heart to people when people don't understand how important guarding your tongue is besides the fact that our tongue is like arrows that can kill they literally can kill words that we express have reality that's a whole nother story i don't want to get into the whole idea of lush and right now but i do want to describe this idea that our job in this world is to grow we're here to grow we're here to to improve ourselves and the shortcut is la shanhara i mean i shouldn't say shortcuts it's not even a shortcut but people think it is right you're here and your friend is here well you could grow and elevate yourself which is what you're supposed to do but that's too hard right it's an effort so why don't i just push him down i don't move i'm not growing but i'm pushing him down and by pushing him or her down that's lashinara that was that's what you you may not be conscious of it but that's your motivation bottom line is you really want to elevate yourself and unfortunately you missed the whole boat right this is one of the most important things of yiddish kite you know as as was said by the convert well comes to hillel and says you know i want to convert teach me the entire torah while i stand on one foot and so his answer is right love your neighbors yourself the rest is commentary basically he does translate it a little bit better and he says don't do unto others you would not want done unto yourself well you know this is the other friend he could push you down or he can actually raise himself up and raise you up with him isn't that what you want isn't that what the world is all about to elevate the world and to elevate society and elevate everyone around us of course okay that's how i explain what lash nahar is second thing is someone who is easily angry or angered he describes it as someone who has an angry disposition um anger leads to many sins this is throughout khazal um now people become angry for different reasons but what is the real main motivation i think and i believe that a lot of it has to do with control feeling out of control can can set off anger even though people are not necessarily aware of it a lot of ego is involved and therefore what it does is it really if it's all about me and having it my way i have pushed hashem so far out of the way right as the katsuka rebbe says or has been asked where is hashem he's where you let him in so someone who allows hashem in there's no real room for anger but if they're if it's all you and and you know that you're not perfect so anything letting little thing that goes wrong can really be a trigger right i know i'm over simplify simplifying it i'm just giving one aspect of anger that i believe um is is amazing is a big issue in terms of anger and we have khazal that says that one who is angry i mean really i mean destroys things break walls breaks vessels is akin it's like idol worship i mean i don't mean in sense of you're really worshiping yourself okay so that's that's the second idea the third idea is a um someone who occupies the their mind constantly their makshava with raha with evil thoughts so he mentions here that it's hard for you to it's hard for a person to break this idea this includes all kinds of evil thoughts it could be immorality it could be jealousy or haughtiness uh the remember i i'm just going to stress again throughout this if we can work on these ideas we can work on them really to grow in these areas we're going to make truth a lot easier i mean the whole idea anyway is to grow so you're going to accomplish so many things one is you're going to move aside all those preventions the things that hold one back from doing chuva but you're really doing what you're supposed to be doing anyway the whole torah is ethical teachings i should say the whole torah i'm saying the main point of the torah is an instruction manual for living how to have successful relationships right not just with god not just with pete other people also with yourself it's a it's the holy trinity of judaism right there's mitzvahs that deal with hashem they do right mitzvos deal with other people and there's misses the deal with oneself okay so the only one that is aware of the fact that they have evil thoughts is themselves i mean unless it goes beyond the thought process so again one has to be honest with themselves and the fourth idea is russia befriending becoming close and associating with a wicked person so first of all you know when you have a relationship with somebody there's all kinds of relationships i mean there's distance there's just acquaintances but to a certain extent you have haas there's certain pity and you know ravnoch weinberg always said insanity is contagious so unfortunately also if somebody you know you see them just a human being and they're so what they're evil and you begin to like you know it becomes normal natural or let's say also habituated the person you're you're ruining your own self by thinking that's normal right so he says here the one who is associated with a wicked person absorbs right through osmosis uh the the other person's ways and they become ingrained in your own personality making it difficult to change and that makes sense i mean there's a lot to say on that i want to go forward the next idea is so anyway if you have this book you can read many of the comments more in depth i just want to go to the fifth the hair gil so there are people that aren't that wealthy and maybe they're a little bit ashamed that they're not so wealthy maybe it's obvious they're not wealthy but the point here is that one like us who you know seems to have enough money for our daily bread would much somehow um i don't know it must be another a better word basically um you know be where you we're going to use that person so that's not nice that's not right so you think well they offered they might have offered out of embarrassment they might have offered because they're trying to show off and there's all kinds of reasons why someone who can't afford could offer a meal or food to other people could be they just have a really generous heart and for us to take advantage when we either don't need it or let's just say you know that guest that never left right then he offers you one chicken um leg and you say take two i never had one guest they actually filled the bag during the meal all they had to do was ask it was fine it was fine but i'm just saying like imagine someone who who can eat but oh well it's free since they offered i might as well take advantage so this is this is a bit of a problem so the the rebellion mentions this borders on theft the host shares his his meager meal only out of embarrassment yet the taker rationalizes he's done nothing wrong again this is one of the biggest problems is that when we're sinning we justify we rationalize and think that we're not really doing a sin it's not like walking into a store and putting something in my pocket and walking out without pain right of course not well guess what this could be worse i mean really it's the same but in a certain level it might be worse because you think nothing's wrong i was given permission to eat okay let's go to the next one the historical aragos gazing at what we call nakedness or arrios is hard to translate um let's call it nakedness okay so the comment here says women that are prohibited to a person meaning looking even if she's not naked but you're looking at her as if she is or again we're talking to a group of women so you guys will have to come up with your own ideas right but from a man's perspective uh to think of things that are that are uh sinful um here he mentions p this leads to grave sins of action in other words for at least a man it and maybe a woman depends on the situation could lead to um action but one rationalizes that they say they're just looking and you're not doing anything wrong it's a famous quote from north weinberg i'm almost embarrassed to say but it's torah and he said it many times so i'll say it he says by a man the first glance is free after that you have to pay for it and he's talking about in heaven okay now a glance means you're walking down the road and then you turn your eyes okay but how easy it is to have a second look and that you're gonna pay for it right the truth is also women modesty is a very important subject modesty is not necessarily only about clothing i would use the word anonymity right anonymity means why does one have to be ostentatious why does someone have to be the life of the party you know bring it down a notch you know what i mean so that's your personality it's very bubbly and all that very nice but just try to bring it down a notch you know um i i guess it's calling attention to yourself in any way but that's not the subject here we're talking about arios and normally translates nakedness so think about it in in that sense okay the next one is now what does this mean dividing loot with a thief now what does it mean dividing loot with a thief where you're going to go to the yeah i mean on 47th street or what's that place called the times square guy opens his jacket he says you want to buy a watch it's like okay um i know it's like really cheap and it's always wanted that but you couldn't afford it but this is right out of the back of a truck or the out of the trunk or inside the guys you know lapel yes you know what you it's you are bear i mean you're really um partnering up why because it's giving this guy motivation to keep stealing that's number one he's gonna continue his business um he mentions here that it's central because the goods do not rightfully belong to the seller and because buying them encourages him to steal again okay now why is this difficult to repent from because you can you know these guys are not it's not out of a store necessarily right it's hard to find the guy again to uh you know to reap you don't know who who is stolen from you're never going to find a guy even if you find the original let's say thief you're not going to find him he's going to be he's going to be running to a different street corner you know next week so how could you ever return the goods and of course people do rationalize quite easily every one of these things people rationalize i don't want to go into what the rationalizations are right when the lash and hara well he deserves it i mean it's true anyway right how often do we say that well it's true it might be true that's why that doesn't give you permission okay the next number eight this is to me i'm gonna say the worst obviously this is the one of the main um examples given many places someone says you know i'll sin and then i repent so that makes it that much more difficult to repent for many reasons so he's going to go through a little bit and we'll talk about it he brings down a gamora and yuma 85 b mishnah it actually says in the mishnah someone says i'm going to sin but i can repent my speech the question is metaphysically right meet a canadian media this whole idea on a spiritual level why is that not giving you the opportunity to repent because you're actually sinning with this in mind this is already robbing you the the energy and the opportunity to repent you actually i'm gonna sin and i'll repent later there's so many there's so much wrong with this so here he says basically the bottom line is you're not going to be granted that heavenly assistance which is absolutely crucial in performing truva the gamora same gomorrah but it's 87a said this really applies only if someone says it twice maybe again because of the habituation which which is so um which is so um detrimental but okay let's move on oh so he also says it's there's no real difference if someone says like this i'm gonna sin and then yom kippur is going to atone for my sin yom kippur will not atone for that person's sin in this case too the person will be denied heavenly assistance in repenting on you just keep this in mind if you're relying on that heavenly assistance if anybody ever detriva properly they know they know that hashem is assisting you so why would you rob yourself of that opportunity obviously yom kippur is such an amazing day yes we're fasting it's tough but it's amazing so spiritual you feel the forgiveness in the air as you breathe right as you walk in your non-leather shoes right it's it's the prayers right it's as your lips as you're burning the fats from from not eating you know as you're going through all the processes of the coin god oh going into the holy of holies and you're like right there with him you just know that hashem is forgiving you because you have totally worked towards repentance can you imagine during the year saying ah i'll sin and yom kippur is going to take care of it you're like robbing yourself with that whole opportunity and that whole experience of yom kippur you know if you knew what was happening you would you would not do this you you would prevent yourself from the get-go okay number nine deriving honor from the shame of one's fellow it's similar to what i spoke about the concept of hara but basically if you're trying to make yourself look good at your friend's expense so you're shaming him even if you didn't do it directly you did it indirectly this is a big great rationalization because well i didn't speak question all right i didn't do anything directly it doesn't matter this is not the way for growth number ten happy reish min god forbid separating for yourself from the sea war do you have any idea just an inkling of an idea of being part of the community i know right jews can be tough right it's a tough hey right cliche ref right the stiff neck people right it's they're a tough crowd right everyone knows it's a tough but there's it's a beautiful right those who bless the jews will be blessed you know you hang out with the great blessed people i'm talking about the right crowd of course okay so if you're pirating me but imagine what happens during the 10 days of juva you're not with them this is when as a person as an individual your your prayers will be answered but as a group all year round especially during the 10 days of truva um what other what he mentioned another time period one second we're looking at the number number 10 here at number 11 when the community is inspired right god forbid we don't brain well we broke a show we did have rain this year but if we if if we experience the drought we'd go to the streets we'd make the shulls outside like times of covet and we dive in in the town square and we right we do it at the hotel at different places and praying for rain and to doing truva so god forbid but when we repent during troubled times our prayers are answered as a group we're during the ten days of trueva if you're not going to join up with them so you're not going to receive the atonement that the community will experience this is very interesting because many people from other religions maybe you've met them they talked about personal salvation all the time oh i was saved the truth is we're not so obviously we're concerned about ourselves individually but one thing that we have that they don't have and they could they can join up the jewish people in many different ways either as a righteous convert or even as a righteous gentile okay but to be part of this blessed people and to know the sacrifices that our ancestors have made and have instilled into us such a moon in faith we are believers sons children of believers and there's a lot of what calls avos right the merit of our forefathers abraham isaac jacob and all the way down for the last 3 300 actually more than that 3 600 3 700 years from the time of abraham and to separate yourself from the sibor you mean you know the we talk about measure for measure one of the worst punishments is called correct right the most one of the most severe punishments is excision from the jewish people so we avoid that at all cost so imagine okay you know whether violating neither or violating you know not eating um pesach right not getting a brisk mila for the men right certain mitzvahs that you unfortunately could if you violate them get correct we would do everything in our power not to violate it so what does it really mean according to many opinions this excision could be an earlier death but also major opinion is that it's actually separation from the jewish people and the mixes that involved the the punishment are a consequence of correct they can also you can also do trouba right but the consequences are like i said measure for measure you're doing something that is cutting you off from the jewish people so here you're talking about the actual act just not hanging around jews right they have an opportunity to be around jews and you're separating yourself from the community that is it's going to hold you back from doing uh truma as i described okay number 11. now 11 and 12 are really the same in a certain sense although remember the rift is going to this is the rifts list they're together later on we'll see in rebellion's list sorry in the rifts list we're going through now they're separate later on when we go through the um rebellions list it's really one and that is to shame or degrade either one's parents that's the first one that's number 11 or number 12 degrading one's teachers so i think these are quite obvious but this would deprive you of a mentor the mentor the like in the 12-step programs they call them a sponsor right in in judaism it's your parents your rebbe is giving you hopefully if you if you're you're talking about your parents are sharmer shabbat and believers right so they're going to give you torah they're going to pay for guitar education your rebbe is giving you all them about right if you don't have a good mentor you're basically i've seen unfortunately parents who degrade and speak mockingly about rabbis i see the way the kids end up they have no respect whatsoever it's best not keep they should the parents should keep their mouth shut regarding that particular rabbi and at least choose and find good mentors you don't have to disparage or you know speak badly about rabbis in general right try to find the correct ones and teach your children this is where this is where you need to go for guidance as opposed to you know disparaging so anyway this degrading parents or degrading teachers two separate categories here hamikkal el ettarabin cursing the public what does that mean in order to repent properly the perpetrator would need to seek forgiveness from each person and ha that's very difficult right so that would be one of those things that are not practical and would hold you back from doing shuva okay the fourteenth one is now this is a twist even though the literally means preventing people from doing mixes but it also means not assisting people to do mixes perhaps even preventing people from doing mixes so let's read it again you're preventing you're holding back the masses from doing a mitzvah so i underline this for a reason causing public to sin which includes preventing the public from performing in mitzvah in other words you're actually causing people to sin if you're preventing people from doing a mitzvah you're actually causing them to sin and then one is why why why i mean i don't know what benefit there is to you you're just destroying your soul i'll tell you a secret that if you're makaze therapy if you're mastic you cause people to become righteous you get a tremendous extra seat of ishmael hashem will help you that's why i think everyone should go into teaching how can it be that the teacher goes to get him and the students go to shamayim right ghanaian it doesn't make any sense the gomorrah talks about this god will grant i'm talking about a teacher's you know hey mission person who's modest who's working on himself he'll give you an extra seattle shemaya extra help from heaven to prevent you from sinning doesn't mean you you have no free will but he'll give you that extra energy that extra passion to overcome the eights and hurrah that you would not have had had you not tried to matzd to try to elevate everyone around you if you're trying to elevate everyone around you you're going to get that extra help from heaven that will prove let's say kind of guard you against certain sins okay so i'll just tell you what he says here and this person's evil is so great that hashem will not provide him an opportunity to true them by preventing others from doing it or causing them to sin okay now we're at number 15. um the word hamate means to lean to cause to lean he used the word to steer to steer your friend from the good path to the to the negative path to the evil path so obviously i mean if i'm not saying you're fully responsible for all of his sins but a great sense you are corrupting the other person and leading him astray is another great evil that causes oneself to be denied opportunities for true um the 16 this is the last one on page 124. making personal use of the poor person security so let's say you're giving out loans you have whatever enough money that you can give out loans and people do come to you with the need so let's say you take a security you take the guy's watch as a security so while it's in your possession even though you're gonna give it back to him you decide one day i'm gonna i have a business meeting i'd like to wear this watch so that's theft even though it is yours it should be in a safe deposit box or it should be under your bed whatever it is it should not be used by you while it's in your possession i'll just read the comment if one lends money and takes a security which is collateral for a loan he's not allowed to use the security and if he does it's considered stealing now this doesn't matter if the person coming to you for a loan is poor even if he's rich it doesn't matter right the guy gives you his boat as security oh well i'll just take the yacht out for the day no can't do that um why would the lender unlikely why is it a prevention from doing uh of course all these things are rationalized and justified well to my possession i'm responsible for it so i might as well take it out for a spin right no it's forbidden number 17 remember this 24 so hang in there receiving a bribe with the intent obviously you're taking the the the bribe with the intent of slant slanting judgment of the other judges of the court if you're a judge right so by you taking it it's not just you you're trying to convince the other ones that you're right meaning whatever whatever the other person uh whoever gave you the money just a very interesting fact what is the word shochad mean that they become one who's one that you the one receiving the bribe you became one with the guilty party giving you the money and that's one idea the other is shahad that is sharp it's like you already cut the judgment you already once you received the money you already know which side you're going with that it's sharp the the way a knife cuts the sharper it is the faster it cuts there's all kinds of great explanations to the concept of shortcut but we do say as a result unfortunately that the person it will blind the person the question is we're talking about physically blinded or spiritually blinded the truth is it could be both but for sure spiritually blinded okay number eighteen how might say aveda you found the lost object then maxilla and you did not make any effort whatsoever to return it that is a sin but the question is why would that prevent you from doing suga these are one of those 24 things that are very easily rationalized okay number 18 on the bottom says when the finder eventually regrets his sin right you found it and you used it or you put it away you decide to keep it then you decide you're going to repent and seek the owner now it's much more difficult it's much easier to much easier i'm not saying it's possible sometimes it's impossible you'll have to talk to your local orthodox rabbi when this object actually becomes yours once you find it sometimes that's the case becomes healthier but what happens is when you originally find it that's when it was originally lost let's say it's much much easier to try to find the owner it's much you're much more successful let's just say statistically speaking the chances of finding the original owner are greater when it's fresh a fresh find right it's much harder to identify the owner as time goes on okay let's go on number 19. haro has been betarbotrah you see one of your own children going off in a let's say off the derrick into a um it says adopting evil ways and you do nothing to prevent him now you have to understand that today's generation is very very difficult in terms of in terms of how to how to protest your child's behavior we have to show a tremendous more amount of love i always asked myself when i was i had my children what what would rip do right what would carlibach do um and i think i think my kids they they love life they love god and um they love the torah too you know the the the meaning behind it and if they know they're wrong they'll they'll correct themselves um so i don't know to tell you i i think that you have to speak to a guy you know a rabbi who's who can guide you how much pressure in other words you have to show some aspect of you're not happy with his behavior or that hashem isn't happy with this behavior but you have to be careful in this generation how to express exactly what is what is wrong i mean every parent has to explain consequences right you have to explain it you want your child to be successful so there are physical consequences to his actions that's easy enough you go to jail if you steal or you know you're gonna have people hate you you're gonna have rumors about you that's all very nice that's all very true but we want to get across a more spiritual nurturing message so even though it says i'll just read it again seeing one's child adopt evil ways and failing to reprove him even the word rebuke it doesn't use the word and that's how people translate it right it's um somewhat of a protest the idea of reproof means to prove what's the more correct way so you have to be very careful you don't want to say you're doing absolutely wrong a kid doesn't want to hear that you want to say this is a more improved version right you want to do this you want the the result this is the best way this is what the torah says how to get there right okay number 20. eating the plunder of poor people orphans and windows meaning basically taking advantage of them financially which obviously again people do justify but let's talk about it let's just mention the comment here poor people orphans and widows are at the mercy of their predators and often don't have anyone to come to their aid one who oppresses them financially will rarely repent since his victims lack any means in which they could you know defend themselves or challenge their oppressor okay um another and it's just very interesting so you should be aware that poor people i mean it's not a fact but many of them are like vagabonds perhaps so they don't own a home and they're they're renting so like someone owned a home they lived there for 20 years you can always go to the neighbors and say where do they where do they move to because you want to make amends you want to pay him back for something you did but poor people are less likely to be easily found right they're more likely to move and move and move if they're renters or if they're bankrupt and they have to find a job in another town it's very difficult more let's say it's much more difficult to try to track down and poor people leave it at that for now okay 21. actually arguing against the teachings of torah scholars now this is interesting because again we did speak about disparaging uh rabbanim here it's actually arguing with them not sure there's a major difference but obviously there is this causes a person to withdraw from associating with scholars first of all we have a principle that the scholars bring peace into the world i have a little bit of a joke i'm not a good storyteller i'm certainly not a good joke teller and it's probably not even a good joke so hang in there but you know how it says the torah scholars bring peace to the world so i've heard it been said that people hate the torah scholars so when you have two people in shul that are arguing and the rabbi gets involved all of a sudden now they're friends because they're gonna get together and argue with the rabbi so by the rabbis you know are the enemies of everybody so even if you had like they say the enemy of your enemy is my the enemy of you know what i mean right so if these two people have issues the rabbi gets involved now everyone hates the rabbi and and their friends okay so that's why rabbis create shalom in the world that's a joke okay hopefully it's not serious but let's move on we just said that argue with teachings of torah scholars i think it leads a lot on the children if they see their father i mean look you want the truth i mean spend your time arguing uh you know i wouldn't use the word argue but at least trying to get to the truth with somebody who's um you know i mean tone it down you know like you know what i mean so let's see that was uh 21 22 23 and 24 are all found on page 126. and kosher that's the word if you suspect somebody who is let's say pure innocent righteous that is a no-no you're not allowed to right it says in the torah in righteousness you shall judge my people meaning with righteousness you should judge my people fairly positively now that doesn't mean everybody not every jew right someone who's known to be evil someone who's known it's a fact out there in the world this person is no good he's evil you have no obligation to not suspect him you have every right to think of him as a low life and not a good person what about all the people in between so anyway let's go back to this idea if someone is innocent and kosher they're known to be righteous you should go out of your way and actually it's like a mental exercise to come to an understanding that you misread the situation or there's more to the story than you know right and what about the people who are in between so it's called midas hasidis some will say you should that's fine are you obligated not necessarily okay so the people are in between which is probably majority people you can be i wouldn't use the word suspicious let's say hesitant till you know more right and you're talking about marrying off your daughter talking about going into business so you have every right to check it out someone who's known to be kosher he's 100 righteous by going and checking it out is uh you're casting suspicion either you accept the person as kosher you know that they're kosher they're honest and that's you know obviously you can ask well it might be honest but is he good in business like you know does he have good ideas is he making money i'm going to take him out as a partner a full you know you could be have a silent partner right so you don't care if he's good in business or not right i think i don't know exactly what a silent partner always means it depends what's in the contract right it could mean the money and he's relying on you but if you're relying on someone's you know let's say business acumen so maybe you can check it out right you're not you're not suspecting him of fail uh business practices at all you just want to know if if you allow him to make decisions has he made any successful decisions that's fair okay so that's number 22. that was looking with suspicion on innocent people the number 23 is saying don't hate reproof right in other words one of the greatest things we have and people don't realize it is when people come to you and give you i know it sounds bad they're giving you advice on how to improve your life it's like you should be saying thank you thank you can i give you a hug like i've been doing like i go to school and like i've been wearing my phone over here right oh and i come to school and someone says you know you should prove you're filling right to the middle right i'm like wow i i was not fulfilling the mitzvah if my film is over here so if that's true by to fill in which i i've seen people get angry when people correct people that way that's villainous can you imagine someone says again it's how you give to this generation is so low that we we have a real hard time i i admit i mean i'm par i'm guilty i'm guilty right we have a hard time admitting we're wrong right but you don't even have to admit you're wrong someone says and you don't have to answer them back that's great advice thank you very much whether it's applicable or not you'll think about it you don't know it's not applicable you know you just like what do you call a turtle like whatever the uh a walrus you know off the back like thank you very much doesn't apply to me and walk away right no thank god think about it why what's what's so bad what's so hard about saying thank you very much i will think about it or you can have a conversation oh is that what you saw could you remind me when that happened and get a little bit more let's say details i mean at least have a conversation and you don't have to defend yourself this person is only to he just cares and who cares what he thinks he's giving he's he's like a spokesperson for god right you have god speaking to you through to people and maybe it's something you need to hear and maybe it's not something you think you need to hear but you may it may help you later on in life and it could be very valuable so why dismiss it so hating reproof let me just see what he says over here a person who cannot stand being reproved is obviously unlikely to ever rectify his misdeeds he will always flee from criticism okay now you can always say look after the first is you could say can you please give me constructive constructive criticism anytime you want can you imagine you're invited and the last one is belittling or mocking hama league ala mitzvos actually mocking mitzses remember what mitzvahs are mitzvahs are opportunities to come close to hashem their paths their avenues i'll just give you just a little kabbalistic thought the actual root of mitzvah is from the words means a group of people working for the common good meaning it's an opportunity that's what it's seven is a khaboora group but it really means to cling these are mitzvahs are mem causative causing you to cling to hashem so if you mock them and what are you doing about your relationship with god you you could say i don't understand it i want i need to learn more it doesn't make sense to me i'm obviously missing something right i get that i get that but to mock the mitzvah is like i don't even know what to say um the the hashem's name they're good and hey and above and hey that's the most fabulous concept in the world meditating on this on this idea but you'd kevke the last two letters is vav and hey the word for mitzvah has a love and a hate the end the first two letters is i think i discussed what an athbash is for those who are not aware of akbash real quick the a or aleph is replaced for the last letter which is a soft right so you have the um the the right you have the like a and z we're being replaced b and x y z right y so you're placing so here you're talking about the bet is replaced with the shin at bash okay so you have atbash the american army used it in war for coding you can look it up on wikipedia just put in a t b a s h and it'll tell you it's an originally hebrew encoding in kabbalah in the secret mysticism of gematria but it's been used and that's what they call it athbash so the mammon sadiq is actually yud and hey by doing a mitzvah we're unifying hashem we're actually i mean we're creating the image of god so by us doing mitzvahs we become more godly god like god says follow in my ways right imitate me for those who aren't aware that's a jewish concept right so here you have mitzvahs an opportunity to bring godliness into the world by transforming the mem and the sadiq into the yurin hang through fulfilling the godly mitzvot okay so what i would like to do i took those 24 categories on page 126 at the bottom i'll just show you i highlighted each one of the the different mitzvahs and put them into these categories like he did but i just there's five categories i i suggest you read them he explains why it is that it's harder to do truva for those that came on later the idea here with things that prevent you or obstacles to doing truva so the first category which by the way if you want to just take note it's number 8 14 15 and 19. the four evils are so grave that hashem denies the person the opportunity to do chuva meaning that the person will have to exert this tremendous more amount of energy and effort in order to repent as and these are the four causing the public to sin they land you have to go around to everybody and have fun and seek forgiveness from each individual it's like almost impossible and number two steering what a fellow onto the path of evil from good to evil well who says you're ever going to be involved with that person again and for sure all the things that he's done and maybe even caused others to do are on your shoulder because you steered him in the wrong direction number three is failing to reprove the child of course your children are your goal this is your precious legacy and if you see them i don't i don't really understand how one a parent could see let's say their child comes home and and you say where did you get that he says uh i got it from the store and he said well i didn't give you any money you stole it and um i don't know how the conversation's gonna go he's gonna admit it for whatever you know from mission around a little bit but you have an opportunity to teach him how wrong it would be to steal not that you're going to accuse him but because maybe he wasn't being he or she wasn't being honest but you have an opportunity to teach them something right and if and if you could get them to admit it or you know you're sure that's what happened you could take him to the corner store and he could apologize i mean it's a very valuable lesson i mean hopefully it'll never happen again after this experience but you have to do with a lot of love i mean you know not like take off your belt and embarrass him and you know this is an opportunity the question is how that's the big hakma how to do it okay but anyway these have long lasting effects and of course the person who says i will sin and then i'll repent i'll sin and then i'll repent these are very difficult to repent from okay number two the second category i'll just tell you what they are i don't know why i have only four numbers here i'll tell you why we get to it so i have number 10 number 12 number 23 and number 24. we'll see as we go through uh anyway so they're like this these five evils deprive the sinner of the guidance or inspiration he would need so we need inspiration to repent we have to be inspired and if we don't have the inspiration then it's unlikely we'll repent so separating oneself in the community when everyone's going out and you know crying out because of no rain or because of a plague right or because of something bad that happened god forbid a torah scroll fell on the floor the whole community is going to fast right things like that happen so if you separate from yourself in the community it's unlikely you're going to end up repenting you're not there with them when they're involved in repentance uh arguing against the teachings of torah scholars belittling the mitzvas number four is degrading one's teachers i think that's why i had a problem because no arguing against the teaching of torah scholars and degrading one's teachers to me was the same but i think they were two separate ones and hating reproof so this would all diminish your inspiration to do truva okay then the third category these five evils are extremely difficult to rectify because you can't compensate or ask forgiveness from the victim they're gone or they're very difficult to find number one cursing the public again going around and finding everybody number two dividing the loot with a thief we discussed the next day he's not going to be at 42nd street right he's going to a new corner or you just can't find the original owner failing to re-loss failing to return lost articles of course only in the beginning when it's first found uh the easiest time to try to find the owner for plundering eating the plunder of poor people orphans or widows meaning it's basically stealing but again they move on they're easily moved on as we spoke about and number five accepting a bribe in order to slant judgment again to try to find the um the the the victims very difficult okay the fourth category these five evils are viewed seriously enough oh by the way let me just tell you on the third category the numbers i have down here number 7 13 17 18 and 20. okay i'm just saying so you can go back and review them uh the fourth category these five evils are not viewed seriously enough by the perpetrator right if you don't you don't you you justify it very easily to repent for example sharing in a meal that's insufficient for the host you say well i was offered it what's the big deal what's the difference if i have three pieces of uh of chicken or beef or whatever number two making oh i didn't tell you the numbers let me just tell you there 5 6 9 16 and 22. okay sharing the meal right number two is making use of a poor person's security um right justified seemingly number three gazing at a rios you're just saying i'm just looking i'm not really sinning but that causes a lot of issues and number four deriving honor from one's fellow's shame right putting him down of course he deserved it why not it's very easy to justify and the last one is looking with suspicion on innocent people again you're very easily justified and you think that there was no sin involved but it is serious i the last category the five evils are extremely habit forming so these are actually the first four one two three and four such as speaking mashinhara wow wow i don't have to say anything how often we find ourselves uh speaking lush russian horror speaking regiles which again the the ravenna yoda put them together here he because the riff he's quoting the rift in the beginning here he puts them as separate ideas having an angry disposition that could be quite habit-forming um just ask anybody who had to deal with anger uh occupying one's mind with evil thoughts oh i see and then number five associating with a wicked person so occupying one's mind with evil thoughts that is um very habit-forming and associating with a wicked person is also quite i'll call it habit forming to a certain extent because very difficult to um to you know you have a relationship how can i break it off you can justify that too okay so basically we have just finished completed the char aleph i know that we went a little bit overboard not not too much but i hope that you enjoyed this series we will continue and i think we're going to continue for another week or two until we things get crazy before pesach and then we'll continue after pesach with azeroth hashem look forward to the next class and as we always sign off have a great life keep growing keep doing chuva and i'm gonna just uh turn off the camera and we'll have we'll open up for questions right now okay so call two of all the best see you when i see you [Music] is