Rebbe Letters: "Dear Rebbe, I Feel Guilty"

good evening welcome to our study of the rebbe's egress letters that love it wrote to all kinds of people from all walks of life that were published and that we have the benefit of studying in order to glean some of the wisdom and guidance that the offered to so many throughout the years tonight's letter this is our this is our third week fourth week this is our fourth week already of our gimel thomas preparation getting ready for gimel thomas the rabbi's yard site which is coming up uh shabbos after this one and uh this shabbos shabbos movarchem thomas and just to recap a little bit uh our first letter was a letter to a to an illustrious hasid uh a hosted who the rebel was speaking somewhat harshly to and telling him to do more in getting other people even people who seem completely to have no connection to these types of things to get them to form a relationship with the rabbit that was our letter to uh castleman and our second week was a letter to a arav not a chabad rabbi but a a litvisher of goddal actually a great and well known rabbi rav maisha and that ever was answering a question that he had asked regarding the phrasing of a a bar mitzvah invitation that uh that a mutual friend rabbi bensian chamtev adventure had sent out by the way i was at a khasana in crown heights the other day khasana actually for label champtov son of levian bassey from west bloomfield i've mentioned before olivia and bossy are instrumental in making this whole class happen so uh when i was at the hasanah who did i see none other than yusral shamdev is the bar mitzvah boy in the letter the letter to rav sternbeck that that ever wrote is asking about a bar mitzvah invitation that was sent out by ben shashantiv who's the bar mitzvah boy in the bar mitzvah invitation so i saw him and i and i told him i said we learned your letter and he said it was it's remarkable actually he says to me his bar mitzvah was toshin you gimmel okay that's 1953. so you can do the math figure out it's how old he is so he he says to me i remember that he says we're walking down the street in stamford hill he says i was with my brother avraham rabbi avraham champtov from philadelphia and maesha sternberg came right over to us he came over to my father and he asked him about the invitation and he said i'm going to write to the debit and he said you do that you write to them anyways it's very interesting to hear that real life snippet uh that was our second week and then our third week was a letter to a great rabbi a sage a mystic a leader the son of the babasali known as the baba mayor of mayor who was a leader in morocco and later in in the holy land and also after that we did a letter that's not from the egress to a uh to a jewish businessman and a supporter of philanthropist uh julius stulman that that was not from the egress but we we read that as well because it had a thematic connection to the letter to the baba mayor so those were the letters that we have studied so far today is different because this letter is not to or all our letters to rabbis yeah they were all to rabbis all our letters from egress were to rabbis this letter's not to a rabbi in fact this letter is written to someone who we don't even know the identity of and sometimes we don't know the identity i've mentioned this before in previous classes that when the egress were published great care was given to protect privacy and there was a whole process a system of redacting the letters that was uh overseen by the rabbit secretariat mainly uh robbie simpson was involved in the the letters archiving and in that process of redacting and also uh rob 11 challenge 11 from the library but of course the final say was uh was the rabbit himself and many details from letters did not make it to publication and sometimes even the identity of the person to whom the letter was written is not there so we don't know who the letter was written to all we can tell from the letter is that this letter is written to a mother and [Music] that she has raised a jewish family and from the context of the letter she's not feeling very good about herself so it's a little bit of a a shift from these letters that we've been reading to big rabbis not just rabbis but big rabbis all of them big rabbis and now we're reading a letter to someone whose identity we don't even know she could be anyone any one of well really any jewish mother from the year that this letter was written which is uh 1950. and in in that sense i think that this letter in a certain way allows us to relate to it even more than our previous letters especially if you're a woman i'm not but my mother is a woman my wife is a woman my daughters are women and uh in in a certain way i think this letter reveals even more of a personal touch a certain humanity that uh perhaps some of the scholarship of the previous letters may have covered over so without further ado let's let's go into the letter a letter to uh to a jewish mother to a woman oh and this letter is from igrash gimmel one of the early volume three bar sixteenth day of alol you're talking about two weeks before rosh hashanah and the year is tough shinjud that's 5710 or and please remember what that means that means that we're still in that year between the passing of the previous rabbi and yud spot of tough shinyud and the rabbit formerly accepting leadership on gujarat of tough shinyud alef so that's that year where the rabbit has not yet formally accepted leadership and uh this is the year of of a veilus of mourning for the passing of the philip rabbit blessings and greetings and as we've mentioned many times before the standard formula of a salutation in the rebbe's correspondences to a man is shalom and with a woman it's bracha vashalam in order to not greet her first first to bestow blessings and then the greeting and it's about the distance uh the formality that is required between a man and a woman and this letter is in yiddish i got your letter from the 27th of menachem of that means a few weeks prior to the that i was writing the response and of course it could have taken any number of days for the letter to reach the rabbit we don't know where this woman sent the letter from maybe she she wrote from overseas and it took weeks we don't know so i got your letter in velken and in this letter you you write your situation you describe your your situation that you are lacking goodness maybe even translate that as decency and piety basically this woman is writing to the rabbit and making a confession she's saying i'm not such a good person i'm not such a religious person rabbi i feel guilty and this is the deba's response and as i said i i think the anonymity of this letter writer is something that makes it more relatable or perhaps more um conducive to us seeing ourselves in the place of the recipient i also think the fact that this is not a well-known person i mean she's anonymous but also it seems that she's not debba doesn't seem to refer to anything in the letter that would indicate that she's a public figure even if her name is redacted she could be a famous person whose name was left out but it seems here this is a a a simple person a regular person nobody's simple and nobody's regular but on the face of it the way that people look at things and she's writing about regular life she's writing about the regular struggles that a person has um she's feeling inadequate and she writes to the deb and she bears her soul and she confesses her feelings of spiritual inadequacy and her moral failings whatever they may be so i think this is something very very relatable and uh when i read that ebb's response obviously i was not surprised that the response was a compassionate response that's uh that goes without saying but the specifically some of the encouragement that ebba gives i found very very uplifting and and i think also you'll see why the the ma the manner of encouragement that gives to this woman why we chose this letter as a preparation for gimel thomas for the devas the art site because the theme of all the letters it's interesting all these letters we've been studying so far have been very different in many ways but the common thread between them all is that they deal with the subject of his kasiras about the relationship between rabbi and khasid and so yeah basically a woman is feeling bad about herself she's feeling guilty inadequate that ebb is responding with compassion and the deb is compassionate response is one which has to do with the special relationship between a rabbi and a closet and a closet in a rabbit okay i've spoiled enough of it for you let's let's see what it actually says it is about the month of alo and also it's brought in a mimer of my father-in-law and the rabbi uses that honorific title at the end hakam which we we mentioned last week is a is an acronym which is something that is said only during the first year after passing and as we mentioned this letter was written during the first year after the frida grab is within the the figure group is passing um so the rabbit says it says in this and it's also brought in a mimer of my father-in-law what is this as in is that kaiser was gate reisenfeldt that in the month of allah hashem is like a king who goes out into the field this is of course the famous martial the famous hasidic parable of amalgam the king is in the field now the original source that abba says it says in this the original source is from the al-tarab from the first khabad rabbi and it appears in lakute torah in parishes a which is on page lamid base almond base page 32 folio base column base um column two so that's the original place but the rabbit doesn't only quote the idea as being from the alta rabbit that ebba says it's from the al-taraba actually the never says it's from this and it's also from my father-in-law and i want to point out something interesting that doesn't get into it here in this letter but the famous parable of the king in the field which the the altarebe seems to be the originator of by the way we don't have at least in writing we don't have an earlier source for that parable so it seems to be original to the to the alta debit but when the when the rabbit quotes the or paraphrases the the parable he says it's both from siddhis in general and from my father-in-law and and i want to point something out there's a there's a secret from the rabbi which took place two weeks after the writing of this letter as we read at the beginning of the letter this letter was what do we say zion ello is all right 16th day of owl and yeah so there was a fabregan 11 days after this letter was written and it was shabbos parshas nitzavim which is the shabbos before rosh hashanah and at the fabregan the rebbe spoke about the malhebasade the king is in the field and pointed out how there are significant minor like seemingly small but yet very significant textual changes in the way that his father-in-law the previous rabbit said the parable that are changed from the way the parable is originally written in lukateto of the al-tarab so at the fabrega that ever mentions that there's a mimer from his father-in-law the mahmur is called amerlibi and actually the homolibi is an interesting mimer it's one of the maimurim i don't know how many people understand that the federal government could not speak or could not speak fluently for several years toward the end of his life now normally a mimer is delivered orally arabic speaks acidic discourse and then it's transcribed and either reviewed by the devil or not reviewed but normally it's delivered orally the last few years of his life the the my mottom of the frida kahrabi were written and to the extent that they were pre-written and that's why for instance there's a mimer basilagani which i'm sure anyone who's heard of any of my modem of the frida grabber knows that there's a mimer called basilagani that mimer came out on the day of the video grab his passing how can the photographer have a mimer from the day of his passing i'll ask you even more not only is there a reminder from the day of the figure of his passing but it's a hamsa it's a serial where there are more my modem from dates even after his passing so how is that possible and and the simple explanation is that these my mother were prepared in advance they were prepared from before and they had release dates ascribed to them or or or uh chosen for them when they would when they would come out so this is months after the figure of his passing and there are my modems still coming out that were prepared from before so this libby is similar to many of these my modem which came out in those years a repurposing of an earlier mimer of the frida krabi the original version of it was tough shin and then the repurposing of it the rebranding and repackaging and that was overseen by the rabbit rabbit was the one who the the frederick instructed to take old my modem and uh re-package them for for republication so the original mimer was said tough shin 1940 and then it was re-released with some changes and additions for slickers gimmel de slickers third day of slickers tough which of course is months after yoga months after the fitter cub is passing so the i know there's a lot of dates here the fabregas eleven days after this letter that we're reading right now was written at the fabrega and eleven days later after this letter was written the dabba speaks about a mimer that just came out posthumously from his father-in-law a minor called the liby which is a rebranding or repurposing of a mimer from the frida karebe from 10 years ago and at the fabric explains that there are some seemingly minor but actually rather significant textual changes the way that the fader could be conveys the parable of the king in the field okay one of the things which is different is that the in the in the original parable it says i'll tell you the pair in fact in the letter that we're reading it actually paraphrases the parable um so maybe actually let's let's read the letter and then i'll come back and i'll explain to you what that ever said at the fabregas okay so it's explained and siddhis and my father-in-law says in a mimer as in is that via kaiser vas gate or reissenfeld yeah we said that like a king hashem is like a king who goes out in the field was dortan can an allah to gain to him and there in the field everyone can go to him and there in the field he receives everybody with a happy face and with a smile need without respect meaning irrespective of or irregardless of the the spiritual standing of the man or the woman who is approaching him that's how the rabbit in yiddish very briefly concisely uh paraphrases the metaphor there are more details in the original metaphor okay so what it says is that aloe the time of elo the last month of the year is like a king who's going to the palace but on his way to the palace he goes through the field and the people in the field who are ostensibly they they work in the field they're like farmers and they're not ready to go into a palace it's not like they're wearing their formal attire and going to a state dinner they're out in the field they're in their overalls i mean that's not the wording from the marshall i want to be careful you don't misunderstand but the point is there are people out in the field and as the king's coming through the field so they have an opportunity to go approach him and because it's the field he receives everybody very uh kindly and with a kind face and uh and then everybody follows him to the palace and if he gets to his palace and you want to approach him then then not everybody is allowed admittance and that's that's the marshall that's the parable for the difference between aloe and tishrei what do they say uh do chiva now and beat the holiday rush so aloo is the month before tishrei the high holidays that's like the kings in the field khaparan you know have you have your opportunity to approach the king just walk up to him he's in the field he's on the campaign trail you can go over shake his hand take a picture take a selfie just go right over to him once he gets into the palace that's tishrei rosh hashanah yom so then he's in the palace now who are you i don't see your name on the list you have to stand behind the velvet rope not everyone gets in so that's that's the original parable so going back to the the fabrega that's 11 days after the writing of this letter that ebb points out that when the frida krabbe retold the parable there were a few textual changes one thing is that it says that everyone is allowed with an aleph they're allowed to approach the king that's how the al rabbit writes it in when the philip wrote in the in the moment it says they're allowed and they're able not just they're allowed they're able what's the difference maybe you're allowed to do something but you're not able to do it technically it's legal no one's gonna stop me but i can't do it i'm not able to do it or i can't bring myself to do it or whatever internal obstacle there is so this is they're allowed and they're able to do it another thing is it says after they greet him in the field the the people him they follow they go after him they follow him to the palace that's how it says it in the in the in the al-taraba's version in luke the frida kerber's version he adds one word they all go after him what's the difference you might think that although he greeted everybody in the field because it says he greets everybody in the field but not everybody was affected the same way by that greeting so they didn't all follow him but here it says no they all follow him and uh and there's another change but i i just want to talk about these these two textual changes the debut asks why did the phytica debit change the words and he says that this really represents a sign of the times that the the fedex times are different than the altar times i mean everyone knows that that's that's patently obvious but sometimes that needs to be said um that even when it comes to spiritual teachings which of course toyota is eternal and unchanging but people change the nature of people changes and sometimes the way we say this the truth the truth doesn't change but the way we say it yeah it does have to evolve and and so the the the reason that the phytical is using different language is because the people of his generation need to hear this parable in slightly different language and specifically that ebba says with more clarity that things that once upon a time people were able to infer the rabbit says that in in the olden days the original siddham the city of the altar they would hear one word and they would thoroughly absorb it and that's all they needed but in our days that ever says people need things spelled out they need it spelled out so that's why the videographer adds these words the sith of the altar but didn't need it spelled out to them you can figure it out you can infer but we need it spelled out and uh it's just such a powerful idea that you know there are ideas that are loving ideas the king is in the field the king smiling at you the king brings you with him to the palace and yet because of who we are as a generation we don't hear the love the love is there but we don't hear it and the philadelphia knew that somebody from his daughter from his generation could look into a lakute tater and read that loving muscle that parable which is full of a fatherly love and maybe miss maybe miss the point and and not feel that love so the videographer did something which ostensibly was was difficult for him to make a textual change from something that the the the holy altar ever wrote in luke but that people of our day and age should be able to access the hope and the encouragement and the love and and and the strength and the empowerment that's in the words of liquidity so the fear that could have added some words and obviously i say obviously because i i just can't imagine a counter argument to this statement even though i'm making it purely based on logic and not based on a source if you look in the rebels where the rabbit took seven generations or six previous generations of of siddhis khabad and did so much retelling and and so much textual analysis every member of the deb pretty much is an analysis of of one of his predecessors discourses and and that ever takes that truth and retells it in words where people of our generation can hear the love that's in those words and the love was always in the words but we need someone who connects to us and knows us to retell it to us so that we're able to access what it's really saying on on the page okay let's let's let's continue here the fun is so that ever said the parable that i wouldn't even spell out what it what it represents that the month of ello which is the last month of the year and we make an inventory spiritual inventory regarding the the year that's gone by zolcich nit de shreken a person should not be afraid when an uffiring in the site when he thinks about his behavior during the time that's gone by you know a lot of people are afraid of ello i heard a payload once say soon so he said that that is the balsamic literally alilim means idols veda salilum sometimes it's called idol worship but he said that in his payload it is his pronunciation so ali lim is like the same as elul the plural for allo well lilam karis came and took the old allele in the way people used to experience an elo that they were terrified they were sick with worry what is going to happen on the yemen den i'm going to be judged i'm going to be cut off god forbid right so the basham dev came in he cut that out he cut it out got rid of it get rid of it so you know a lot of people are terrified of al even after the baal shamdov i'm not sure why there's still people around you know it's it's interesting let's mention there was a fabregan aleph aloe um tough shin man members where the rabbit was speaking about rabbis who give scary sermons in elo and they tell everybody that you're going to be judged and look how bad you did this year and you're not going to equal up to the judgment this is not going to be good for you and they make everybody nervous about the high holidays and it's very interesting what what the rabbit said he said you know how can somebody speak like that in elo the king is in the field like not only is it not nice to scare people but like it doesn't even make sense why and specifically now in all like of all times when the king is in the field when there's these galaxies like explains there in lukate this is the altitude actually asks the whole the the america the marshall is to explain a question he has which is basically elol is so powerful it's such a revelation of divine compassion that in theory the whole month should be a yum tif the whole month should be one yumtif and the fact that it's you may oil that it's not a yum tif that it's regular days that we have to explain that that's what we need a whole mimer to explain but at any rate that ever says this this this base how are people giving these scary mushrooms and telling people to be frightened in elul this is the time when hashem is most approachable like this is a time when you have to be the most encouraged and uplifted and that i've actually mentioned there he says but the guy who says this sermon these scary sermons he probably doesn't know about hamalak basalde he never heard about this concept if he would have heard of the concept then you know maybe he would realize that's not what hello's about so that ever tells this woman ello is a time where don't be afraid don't be afraid the king's in the field he's smiling at you he's very approachable this is the opposite of a scary time yeah next paragraph yeah um zuckmannap yeah that we're up to zuckmann we tell him tell the person this person who's worried about his spiritual inadequacies those this enzyme you should know as hardship fancy yeah you're in a field and metaphorically what does that mean you're in a field not such a fancy place spiritually you're not in such a fancy place do best you don't know if they're going to let you into the palace a place where proper people are allowed in you're you're a field person maybe you won't get into the palace that's what you're thinking so i'll stop investing but you gotta know it's so dirty eisenfeldt the king the king of all kings is coming out to you in the field so you're worried am i going to make it into the palace don't worry about making it to the palace the king is not in the palace right now the kings in the field with you and they're in the field you go straight up them and you ask them whatever you want under the vet dear ufos he's going to receive you with a kind face with a smile and therefore you don't have to be afraid seems like the deb is now speaking to her again directly and even though you i was speaking second person to her even though you made this spiritual inventory about your behaviors your deeds jade and your speech on my chavez in and your inventory didn't come up as a good inventory well you can when you do the the the accounting so you weren't in the black you were in the red or at least that's what what you think when you made your your stock taking over a fortune but since you're dealing with a compassionate father says in yiddish a father full monus it's even richer in the yiddish not just a merciful father but a father full of mercy all you have to do is just make a decision that from now on you're going to do everything you can to be how hashem wants you to be that's all that's all you have to do you don't have to be perfect not in the past and not even right now you just have to make a decision and you're going to certainly have a good inscription and a good seal both for your body and your soul now that ever gets more particular about motherhood and something specific to this woman as a mother and apparently that ebb knew the family and makes reference to that a woman especially a woman who has raised children in the right path should feel very encouraged he raised your children in the way of toyota from the grass this is one of the greatest merits a woman can have on dos that i help to gain from them this is going to help you go out of your own situation which is not the way that it ought to be rabbit doesn't by the way argue with her and tell her that she's not in an undesirable place he just says it's going to be okay first of all hashem is a fatherful mitr hashem is a very merciful father but also listen you have skusim you you raise good children and this is going to help you get out of your situation this is going to help you to conduct yourself onto the right path uh that you'll have good materially and spiritually now here's the part where um [Music] i mean this this this by itself what we read so far is worth the price of admission now that ebb is going to add a further point and this is why we chose this letter for this guimotama's hakona where we're learning letters that are specifically about the connection between a closet and a rabbi and a rabbi and a closet by the way maybe some of you noticed that i've been somewhat uh pedantic about and it's a sort of a belabored way of speaking uh every time i translate his castras i say the connection or the relationship between a rabbi and a host why do i do that i do that because um i remember the first week when we read the schlemmerheim castleman letter and i mentioned to you the story that ramayler zwiebel told he was at a fabregan used to enjoy his fabregans he used to come visit so this this young man was uh sort of arguing with schlemmer and telling him yeah it's okay you know you you have your his conscious to to your rabbi he says i i'm a makusha of uh abayavarava mahavarova the amaroyam the great sages in the gemara so uh islamichaim says to this bachelor he says great you want to be connected to the bible but who says about whatever want to be connected to you that's the uniqueness of the debit that he wants to be connected to every single jew so that's why when i say his conscious now i just started this a few weeks ago but whenever i say it i say the connection between arabic that's like the general way people always say it it's cautious upon him there's a reciprocation that ever wants to be connected to you so that's why i i say it that way um so let's let's read inside me darfun alavis we have to know we all have to know azmir hubbard grayson and we have now a great rabbit who is this my father-in-law my rabbi and the rabbi uses again that term hakam which is the acronym for someone who has passed away that year was hashem on behalf of jews in general and he continues now in the present to make requests from heaven on behalf of jews in general and also for those especially who are connected to him and like we learned last week in the letter to the baba mayor that people who are connected to the debate don't necessarily mean people who met him in his lifetime it could be people who are inspired by his teachings that could also mean people who are connected with him so the rabbit tells this woman who is feeling bad about her spiritual standing listen first thing that ever says okay and you did a good job as a mother like okay fine but now that eva says another point we had and we have meaning even after yuchat even after the fear of his passing a great rabbi who makes requests from heaven on behalf of the jews and especially for those who connect to him so like what are you worried about what are you worried about that ebb is is your lawyer the dev is defending you here relax you're good you're in good hands now watch what the devil says [Music] in the manner of the freudian in kahala the rebel knew and the rebel knows now the weaknesses of the men and the women in the hasidic community of his followers you think that you're so bad and because you're so bad therefore you're getting all scared that you're not going to have a good year god forbid i want you to know something whatever it is that you think is so terrible that ebba can handle it that that for us and he knew exactly our darkness he knew our defects and even whatever goes further and says and he knows now now i want to sort of insert something here i just couldn't help but think about this when i came to this point in the letter uh a secret from akron shop again from this year from the year within the twelve months of passing of the frida karab so there's a fabregan actually this portion of the fabregan which i'm going to tell you a point from was later edited and reviewed by the rabbit and it's included in other words and it's included in the helic base of le cote circes in the resurface in the judeshvat section of the appendix in the back of helic base volume two of la cote circus over there the rabbit speaks about the gemara that says when rabbi rabbi is rabbenu that when he was about to pass away he made a pronouncement he said i need my sons and then he gave three directives to his sons before he passed away he said keep my bed made keep my table set and um keep my lamp turned on keep the lamp lit so that ebba then proceeds to explain these three requests in terms of the ongoing relationship between a rabbit and siddhim even after his passing because after all what's the context of this story in the gemara that this is right before reb is passing away and he says i still need my sons meaning even though i'm moving on i'm going to like remember last week in the class we said histalcus means moving on to a higher level and even though i'm moving on to a higher level i still need you i still have a relationship with you my children and that relationship will express itself in three is what the rabbit explains the the maid bed and the set table and the and the lit lamp what what does that mean so the rabbit says it's talking about three areas of brachas that we we go to the rabbit means children life and sustenance but in simple english it would be family health and money so those are three areas where someone would go to a rabbit and ask for brachas so that ebba says you should know and why why do they represent each one that i've explained maybe i'll say it very uh briefly that um so the maid bed represents children right mitose schlema like it says about yankovino his bed was complete that means all of his sons were tsaddikim that is the place of procreation so it represents the uh the family having children and uh health is the the the lit candle because it's near them that when the soul is shining in the body that's like a lamp that's lit and money is the table because the tables where you eat your bread where you have your sustenance literally where you nourish yourself so those three things represent three areas of blessing that one would go to a rabbit to ask for him to to pray and to make requests on your behalf so that ebba says that the lesson of this story is that even though rabbi is going to a higher place he tells his sons you could still approach me about these things and i'm not going to look at you and be like come on so mundane this is so pedestrian i'm up in heaven i'm dealing with lofty stuff and you're talking to me about money and health and family like come on no that's not going to be the reaction because even though that ebb is going to a higher level he's still interested in your life down there now that's not why i particularly thought everything i told you so far is not why i particularly thought of the secret of achen chopin when i read this part of the letter the part of the the the i was thinking of why i wanted to bring it up over here is where is what i'm about to tell you right now which is related to what it says here in the letter that i've been new and that ebba knows even now the the the weaknesses that will be used as a long yiddish word the schwa of the men and women who are in this opinion an alternative definition of the maid bed and says the maid bed can represent like we said procreation so asking that ever for blessings for anything that's family related for fertility and for success in raising your children your children's happiness but on an even deeper level the mita the bad represents sin and the rabbit gives two explanations why the bed represents sin one reason a little more homiletical which is that when you sin you put your head and your feet on the same level meaning you're not acting intelligently in autumn says so a person sins because he's not thinking right so his head and his feet are on the same level that's why the bad is sin but then the rabbit says you know why also bad is sin never says come on come on grow up because this is an area rabbit uses uh the polite rabbinic language and i'm going to try to use polite language also even though i'm saying things in english there are areas of struggle of spiritual struggle that are particularly hard for people to deal with because they entail a lot of shame and this is what politely we refer to as khattas nurim sins of youth but it really what are the sense of youth like taking an extra cookie at snack time pretending to be napping and not really napping during napta those that's what they do in kindergarten those are the sins of kindergarten you know kate is not a means spiritual failings of an intimate nature and that ebba says that you should know that the rabbit is approachable to discuss this aspect of your life and not only this is enough of a bombshell the rabbit is so holy and in his lifetime he could hear about your struggles in that area but even after his histalkos and the rebbe is now in heaven and he's on a much higher level he's still approachable and you can still talk to him about your struggles in that most personal private intimate part of your life a mind-blowing concept now i i don't know what this woman is writing about i don't know what kind of schwa kaiten what kind of spiritual weaknesses that she had or she thought that she had i'm not implying it's of this nature my point is that ebb says here in the letter that eben knew and even now in heaven knows the weaknesses of his of his siddhim and that's what made me think of that that sirha from akron is saying not only can you go to the rabbit even after his talkus and you can speak to the rabbi in heaven and tell him about your day and tell them about your business and tell them about your family and talk about your doctor's visit which itself is a total but even more than that if you're struggling if you did something that you're not proud of and not just any moral failing but even a moral failing specifically of an intimate nature these are things that you can talk to the rabb about i think it's so important that our youth understand youth all of us understand that there's a reason why the kriya any kipper at minha is about illicit relationships illicit intimate relationships and uh rashi explains very clearly in the gemada mcgill why that is why that is the torah reading that it's an area that many people struggle in and there are different levels obviously of struggling there's thought there's speech and there's action but the point is that this is a real part of life and when we talk about his conscious the relationship between arab and arab it includes being able to speak openly and without shame about these issues private is different than shameful something can be private it's not something you talk about to everyone but it's not shameful it's a reality it's part of the human condition and uh i guess what i'm saying is that if we want to be real of the rabbi then it's important for us to know and it's important for our children to know and for us to be the ones come on parents step up be the one to tell your child that there is such a thing as human nature and from the the the the moment of the day adam and java became aware of themselves and they became aware of their needs and desires and and they also became ashamed and when this drive is channeled in a holy way then it is the pinnacle of a human's potential to be godlike and when it's not channeled in the proper way when we make mistakes so dealing with that is also part of being a spiritual person and having a relationship with hashem so if you haven't told your child especially you were talking you know like i'm not even going to put this at an expert level challenge right now but you have teenagers if you haven't told them that his conscious means that you can write to the rabbit about your struggles in these areas well i would i would tell you maybe that's something you can think of working on in preparation for gimmel thomas so what the nebba said that is approachable even now not only for blessings but to talk about our our imperfections and that ebb is the one who got specific i'm not the one who's deciding to read into it something uh racy something uh provocative or not just regular sins but specifically struggles in the area of human intimacy let's not let puritanical sensibilities deprive us of our proper relationship with the rabbit and our ability to to grow as a spiritual people obviously there's something called privacy obviously there's propriety obviously the gemara even says that when you discuss these subjects it's not supposed to be in large groups okay you do it in a in a modest way and it's near stick away but if we're never going to talk about these things then then where should our children find out about it and and if they make a mistake in this area where should they seek healing where should they go where do you want them to go an unavoidable part of human nature so do we want them and and not even a part of human nature if i'm going to really really get you know i'm still on my soapbox so it's the core of human nature this is the most basic this is the most basic feature of a human being since aldermen cove is hagosha satsuma which specifically expresses itself in this taiva murav the thing that can be the highest of the high or god forbid the opposite so the revenue when he was alive here in this world and that ebb knows in heaven all of the weaknesses including weaknesses of an intimate personal nature of which you may be ashamed go to the devil pour out your heart talk it through you have a compassionate loving father who's on your side and he relates to you and he's not judging you and i'm sorry to belabor this point and i'm sorry to drag this out and i'm sure people are turning this off they're getting sick of hearing it but you know what the rebbe said i mentioned before the fabregas from the time of the friday to the time of the alternative from the alternate to the philippines certain things need to be spelled out more okay maybe i'm taking liberties i shouldn't take but it seems to be that certain things that maybe once upon a time didn't need to be spoken need to be spoken today maybe it was implicitly understood in previous generations that this is part of his conscious and this is part of being a spiritual seeker and this is part of having a relationship with hashem and these subjects have a place within yiddishkeit but i just see too many instances every single day where this becomes the thing that derails people that this becomes the thing that all of a sudden i can't i can't have this i can't be dealing with this and still be a good jew and still be a husset and be a shliya how can i have something like this and this becomes the the like a little pin that pops the balloon and that's it because their whole concept of being a yid was was fragile like a balloon and that so the concept was just took a pin to pop it our concept of being a jew has to be strong enough and complete enough and full enough and developed enough that we have a way of dealing with these things and that when we do struggle in this area it doesn't pop the balloon and undo everything else okay off the soapbox so the rabbit says backing up other freudian and kahala sid that have been new and the heaven knows the weaknesses the moral weaknesses of his system the men and the women a bernie cooking but in spite of that he knew what they were struggling with he knew their private shame and he still doving for them of course he divine for them unisa say but not only he did miss paolo and he continues present tense he darwin's knowing everything he knows he's still darvaning for you children health and sustenance like i mentioned before bonnie jaime correspond to the uh the bed the lamp and the table um for you that hashem should forgive your sins and that's that other level of bed that we discussed that heaven knows and he's daviding for you and he's asking hashem to forgive your sins keeping in mind the mitigating circumstances i'll translate it as the situation in which they are in and the tasks that they have from the yatsahara in other words that ebba understands the context he understands the back story it wasn't in a vacuum that these things happened are they wrong of course they're wrong and we have to do chuva and we need hashem to forgive us for that but are they gonna destroy everything are they going to pop the balloon like i was saying are they going to put an end to everything god forbid no we're going to work through it we're going to work through it [Music] so consequently what's the upshot of all this we all have to make a decision an agreement as foreign we're going to become better from now on on the vet and that decision just the decision is going to bring success and blessing [Music] all of us including you and your family should have a good sweet year by yadrenzolen der philtveren micheles liebe leteva every one of them should have all of their good requests of their heart fulfilled i know that word can be triggering but after i mean we've been reading a letter from a very compassionate loving rabbit so don't get triggered by by one word this is the real context of the word from okay if that word was ruined by people who didn't use it in a loving understanding context let's reclaim that word okay so this is the same rabbi who says that you can still talk to the rabbit in heaven about all of your issues and he's going to understand and he's going to fight for you he's going to be your defense attorney okay so the same rabbuh says that says we're going to be from we're going to be religious and everything's going to be good materially and spiritually i will mention at an opportune time at the resting place of my father-in-law that evan for a uh to be written and and and sealed for for a good year it and certainly you're going to be able to let me know good news about yourself and all of your loved ones that have a writes his name powerful letter um like i said a letter that i think we can all see ourselves in okay we added to this uh packet the pdf packet uh a a a minor from tough shalom tess so to uh keep with the plans i'm just gonna teach this very quickly a minor means it's not a letter like in the egress these are letters but this is a note you could even call it sometimes it was a note that was left at the secretariat for somebody to uh to pick up um like one a one sentence answer and uh so there there's a minor literally mine means an answer from tafshin llama tess and uh i think it's related here in the sense that it's somebody who is feeling morally weak and is reaching out for some type of help and the devil's answer has to do with the relationship between khasid and rabbi and arabic here here's here's the miner and again this is just like a short one sentence answer it's not a whole letter t writing to a woman when you feel a weakening in your good will meaning when you feel it very difficult to do the right thing and you're going to remember yes since the rabbit is a true shepherd of the jewish people kane who mistakala he's looking back at you at that moment we all have our moments of weakness we all have our struggles and we have to know that that is part of life and that we have a rabbit who even now whatever levels that that ebb is able to reach spiritually is still approachable about everything that matters to you and even about the things that you don't feel very good about when you think about yourself if we're going to continue to talk about his cashiers if we're going to continue to talk about rabbit after gimmel thomas now let's do it right let's tell the whole story it's not just about the stuff that we're proud to talk about not every story is a story that anyone will ever repeat to anyone else because it's private so you're not going to hear sid i'm sitting in a fabregan and talking about having a moral failure and going to the oil and sharing that with the rabbit and finding a way back out of that they're not going to speak about that they're going to talk about they needed hundred thousand dollars by by 3 p.m for the closing on the building and all of a sudden uh this big donor fell in out of nowhere those are the stories you're gonna hear but trust me when i tell you that that have been new that heaven knows and that abhidavans for us and this is this is what the relationship is don't make the narrative so clean so polished that people don't even know what you mean anymore again i said certain things need to be discussed in private i'm on the internet right now so you're going to say tao you're a hypocrite you'll be first i'm on the internet right now but if you're a parent talk to your child if you're an educator talk to your student if you're somebody's mashbiya say look at like said that people should have a personal mentor and we have to talk about everything we have to talk about it all the entirety of human experience and yes there is such a thing called polite language and there is such a thing called modesty and i'm not going to sit here on the internet and and and be the guy to to say the words the you know the hot button words but please in the proper context parents sit with your child you have a child right now i promise you who has questions about this area of of of human of the human experience and if they don't know that this is part of their yiddish kite where are they looking for guidance and clarity and if worse they think that having a struggle in this area completely undermines everything they are as a jew then everything good that you're pumping into them all day long it's going in one ear going out the other because they have this deficit or they think they have this deficit that that's it's crippling them they it's a non-starter how can i even begin to serve when i'm such a defective person so let's have those difficult discussions and let's really tell our children and our students and our friends what his conscious really means and what it really includes okay that's got your back don't be afraid just just go there just go there just do it okay good shovels to everybody