Reb Yaakov Yitzchak Dalfin, my dear Uncle, a Tomim, had Yechidus w Rebbe, his History - RC Dalfin

This is a tribute for the neshama of my dear uncle Reb Yaakov Yitzchak ben Reb Shloime Dolphin. I have wonderful, wonderful memories, warm, loving memories of my uncle from my youth. But let me first give you a little history. My uncle was born in 1948 in Romania in the book of Viena Regent in the city of Gura Humorului. From there, his parents and family came to Eretz Yisrael in 1950. In 1963, he came to New York. And I believe in 1976, after he was many years in New York, he moved to Costa Rica. He married. And about the last 8 to 10 years, he lived in Miami. In talking to my father, his older brother, my father is his son sign is 11 years older than him. My father remembers how he changed his diapers. He put him in a swaddle. He was an older brother like a father raising my uncle. Later, when they came to This was in Romania. He also told me he remembers once that he took him on a on a sled. And he put him in the back of the sled and he was giving him My father had a little sled. This is in Romania in '48, '49. And and he went and all of a sudden, he he turns around and he sees that he's not on the sled anymore. He fell off the sled. And because it was the winter and the river Gur Hamor means the mouth of the river. There's the there where they lived there was a river called the Hamor River. Gur means the mouth. It was ice. My uncle was a little baby, a little infant on ice. A nest, a miracle. He would have drowned. Hamal Hashem. He didn't drown. My father told me this just yesterday. In Eretz Yisrael he was My my father would come home from the Yeshiva from the Lubavitcher Yeshiva in Lod where he learned from 1950 to under the tutelage of Reb Nachman Kessler month and others. He would come home and he would take his take his brother on his bike. He said he put him on the bar. [laughter] Probably sat him on the bar and they drove to to a shul nearby. That's the type of relationship that his older brother did for him. In 1963 after he learned after my uncle learned in the I believe the Belzer Cheder in Tel Aviv in the Dizengoff area over there. So my grandfather Reb wrote my father a letter that he would like my father to to register my uncle in the in in the Yeshiva. He wants to send his son at 14 and a half years old to America to my father because the draft was starting the the the Israeli draft and at 15 even though you don't go in till 18 but they start at 15 you're registered and he didn't want that because he had friends whose kid whose sons were murdered in the war of independence they were killed and they were in pain and and he and he my grandfather lived you know down with them and knew them and he didn't want that to happen to his son. So he's asking my father to my father said sure. He sends away my uncle at 14 and a half young boy young teenager to America and he lives in my parents home my parents at the time was 1963 had already two children my sister and I. And then he my father gets him into the Yeshiva to the dormitory in Bedford-Stuyvesant and the Yeshiva was in Bedford-Stuyvesant and no it's known as Bedford-Stuyvesant and Dean. And there he had Rabbi Yoel Kahn as a Mashpia Rabbi Dovid Raskin he was in high school in Mesivta so they were teaching Chassidus in the Mesivta and he was very close to Rabbi Lis. And then he had Rabbi Ushpal and Rabbi Bukiet and Rabbi Mentlik as he went on into 770. And he always spoke with great love about his his his Roshei Yeshiva and Mashpi'im he always told me about Rabbi Ushpal how he was so loving and caring. And they took care of him was my father but he was like on his own >> [snorts] >> so they took care of him and they gave him you know helped him with clothing and and they were very loving to him and my uncle never forgot it. He would always repeat it to myself and my and my siblings. He had Yechidusen with the Rebbe quite a few Yechidusen. Every year I believe those he had Yechidus. He told me once that that at a certain point he wanted to go to college. It's not only him, but some of his classmates from the Lubavitch Yeshiva. It was the 1960s. The world was in turmoil. Everyone knows with the with the with the counterculture, the hippies, and everything else. My uncle and some of his friends wanted to go to college. Naturally, the Rebbe came out, I think was 1962 or '64 with that famous letter that was printed in in the Jewish press that, you know, you shouldn't go to college. My uncle went to Yechidus and told the Rebbe and the Rebbe said, "No, you shouldn't go to college." And told him why and explained. And he saw that my uncle was adamant he's going to college. He went for for some reason, you know, him and his friends want to go to college. So, he told me the Rebbe then, you know, stopped like, you know, arguing with him and and and and opposing him. And the Rebbe then shifted and told him, "If you're already going to college, don't study don't study philosophy." In other words, certain things that are heretical, apikorsuses. The Rebbe guided him which course he should take, which course he shouldn't take, something like that. That's what he told me. Another time was in Yechidus. And he had a hard time getting a green card to become a citizen. And the Yeshiva wasn't so cooperative because, you know, the Yeshiva was giving green cards to those that stay in Yeshiva full-time. He was already not full-time in Yeshiva because he went to school, like I just said. So, he went into the Rebbe and he was very very upset about this and he and he and he he cried his heart out to the Rebbe and he said, "You know, I'm learning, but you know, the Rebbe, I'm going to college and and I want to be recognized as a citizen of the Yeshiva can give me the the green card. And the Rebbe heard him. The Rebbe said, "I'll take care of it." And the Rebbe told him to go to Rabbi Jacobson, Rabbi Saul Jacobson, and tell Rabbi Jacobson that the Rebbe said that he should help him get the green card, become a citizen. And he went to Rabbi Jacobson and Rabbi Jacobson took him and made it happen. And he's And he told me just recently when I saw him the last time, 3 weeks ago, how thankful he was for that. Before he married, uh I think it was '75, '76, um seven maybe '75 or so, '76, I don't remember. Anyway, before he married, he he he he went into the he wrote to the Rebbe and he got a brocha. And then when he went to Costa Rica, which he went there because my mother-in-law, shalom, was was raised in Costa Rica. She was a survivor from from outside the Warsaw area, but they came in 1948, I believe, to to to Costa Rica. And she always spoke so wonderfully about the Costa Rican Yidden and how how loving and kind, not just the Yidden, lehavdil the too. And it left a very positive impression on my uncle. Again, my uncle was in and out of our house cuz even when he went to the Yeshiva in the dormitory for Shabboses, different times, he would come. I mean, I grew up with him. I saw him. He would take me, you know, later he would take me once to a ball game and once to this. He He was very very kind and you know, he was like an older brother to me. So, because he heard my mother speak so positively about Costa Rica, he goes to Costa Rica. He likes Costa Rica and he said I can make a life there and that's where he met his wife. And they built a home there. Now, you have to understand Costa Rica today, you know, there's a schlepper there, Rabbi Schachter, he's doing a fantastic job and I think he has a lot of shluchim. He came at the end of '88, '89, '90, but my uncle got there in '76, '75, '76. And and it was barren. I remember I think there were only two shomer shabbos, him and Boruch Schachter. He was a shochet. Boruch Schachter was the was the brother of Reb Yankel Meir Schachter, the Breslover rebbe, Yankel Meir Schachter. That's his brother, Boruch Schachter. [laughter] And he was, you know, different. A frum Yid, but different. And him and my and my brother and my uncle were like best friends. I remember when I visited there um in the '80s, uh he introduced me to him and they were best friends, you know. And they both spoke like a Polish Yiddish and they came from that culture and they they they understood each other and they were the two frum people in Costa Rica at the time. To raise they had three children. My uncle had three children. It was my cousins and I I extend condolences to them publicly. Wonderful children who grew to be bnei Torah bnei Torah with families that are mamish bnei Torah >> [laughter] >> are into Torah, mitzvahs, and chesed and everything else. Coming from this Costa Rica. And and it must be said that if not for my uncle's wife, Yehudis, who cooperated and went along. Yehudis didn't have the same background as my uncle did. Coming from my zaida and bubbe, you know, my zaida was from Viznitz chassidim for 200 years. And but his wife, Yehudis, was wasn't from that background. She went along. And she and and and at a young age they sent away the three boys to Yeshiva. So, my uncle and his wife paid their dues. Mesiras Nefesh. So, you know, there's Mesiras Nefesh do or die for Yiddishkeit, for Judaism, for Hashem. And there is spiritual to send away your children at young age, you know, and they weren't, you know, Shluchim and officially Chabadniks, you know what I'm saying? Could have easily [clears throat] moved to to to to a Jewish community. They stayed. And I think the Rebbi also I think there was a point where my uncle wanted to uh leave. I think his son Eli who spoke at the funeral, one of the sons mentioned this. I think I heard it. I And the Rebbi and the Rebbi and and and the Rebbi encouraged them to stay. So, although, you know, in a sense he wasn't a you know, kind of a a Lubavitcher with a beard and payos and and and and and a kapota and everything else, in his heart of hearts, I'm telling you he was a chossid of the Rebbi of Lubavitch. And again, with teachers like Reb Yoel and Reb Dovid Raskin and Reb Mentlik and Reb Bukiet and Reb Ushpal and Reb Liss, you can't go wrong. These are the salt These were the salt of the earth. These were the best the best of the the cream de la cream of of Chabad. And he grew up with them. They raised them. They teach They taught him. And it came out later that he stayed in Costa Rica. And he made a did a bitachon in in Costa Rica. As the the children married and started having families and then one cousin lives in Lakewood, the other one in Monsey, and the other one in Miami, he came to Miami with his wife the last 10 years or so. And that's where Hashem had him come to and that's where he ended his life. So, there's a lot more to say, but we don't want to make this too long. But I think about it, you know, it's it's it's an amazing story. Here is a a boy from from Buchenwald, Romania, you know, 1948. Coming to Israel and there were poverty was rampant. My grandparents were working around the clock. It was a difficult childhood, he told me once. He told me once that he had you know, it was difficult for him as as as as a child and early teenager in Israel. Then he comes to America and he's a he's a wanderer. He's in my parents' home, then he comes to the Yeshiva, then he's looking for you know, he's starting to go with college and he's doing some work and some business, you know, and I don't I'm not you know, he didn't see his parents. I don't think he saw his father for many years cuz he was here. He started to maybe visit. Don't know those details now. But the point is that he built a life and he recreated himself from when he he went to Costa Rica. And that's a lesson for us. Sometimes we have a rough beginning, a hard beginning. We turn it around later in life. It sometimes comes later for whatever reason. It's from the heavens, from heaven. We have to look back and say, "Wow." And he and he knew that. And he never forgot. Yesterday he had shul in Miami. He went to to to the Yeshiva or Kolel over there and he learned with a rav there. He was a baal tzedakah quietly. He was a you know, unassuming man, didn't make a lot of noise, modest. One of the thing uh Reb Avraham Daich, some in Crown Heights, a friend, told me that he was a Baruch Lishkus in 1989 1990 or so for Reb Shpalter and he met my uncle. My uncle would come to Reb Shpalter and they would and and Abba, growing up in Borough Park, knew a lot of the the Gar and the Gur and them and other the Bluzhever, he knew Polish and Gar Gar and the Zmires and he sang them. My uncle loved it. He said my uncle would cry with tears as he heard these Zmires and he sang them together with with Abba because it brought back his childhood. It brought back, you know, the Vishnitz and the bells and the Chassidishkeit. You know, so so you know, life is is complicated, right? But life is also opportunistic. And if you focus and you take away a lesson from this person's life, there's what to learn from. You know? Even when you have difficulties at certain part points in your life, when you look at the good parts and you see Hashem's Chesed, Hashem's blessings and kindness and and that you were fortunate to go to a Belzer Cheder and you were fortunate to learn in the Bobov Yeshiva for 5-6 years and you were fortunate to have Yechidusim with the Rebbe. On and on and on, that's the legacy. So, my message to the family, to Yehudis and to the children, Gabi, Donny and uh Eli, from bottom up, take this lesson and share it with your families, your children and especially your grandchildren, who your father was, who he is. His humble beginnings comes from Hasidus. I'm not saying this to to push Hasidus, but I'm just saying that these are the facts on the ground. He was permeated with Hasidus warmth. That's it. That's it. That that's that that's was what was at his core. May Hashem help that the neshama of of Yaakov Yitzchak ben Reb Zalman alav Hashalom, my dear uncle, to have an aliyah, and more importantly, Mashiach should come and Mashiach should come. There'll be the kids of all of them who the the dead will rise from the dust, and he will be amongst them. May God comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem, and should be to Mashiach Tzidkeinu mamesh now. Amen. Amen. Amen.