Reb Isaac Leib Miller

welcome to the sixth sabaton of kesha nafshi i would like to express our sincere appreciation and admiration to gidalia miller the one who envisioned and made into a reality kashanavshi where we all gather to get connected and feel and stay connected with our kids even in their most challenging times and it did more difficult situations as we gather here this shabbos pasha to air toffshin pay base we are here together 400 couples 800 people this is a huge number we can look at it on one hand and how sad the situation is that so many kids struggle 400 but a huge number however on the other hand this is very encouraging what it really shows is how many parents and how many people are either willing to face the challenge deal with it appropriately and not with the distractions historically we are all good at hiding problems pushing it under the rug and make it like it didn't happen when we focus on our ego it's a distraction when we focus on our shame it's a distraction focusing on on our image shidduchim whatever you call it is a distraction focusing on how to face the neighbors is a distraction focusing on how to face extended family is a distraction it's really encouraging and it's a delight moment as we welcome here 400 people 400 families 400 group of parents 800 people who came together when i and are here to be focused on the problem and deal with it to face the problem face the situation face the struggle and handle it appropriately don't not to be distracted by anything beyond that because only in that way we can properly handle it when we first started with kesha nashi this is our sixth i had the privilege to be by all of them we were only a i don't know probably less than 100 parents at the first time look we look at ourselves as the losers in the community and there came a crazy gedalia miller put together a shabbaton for the losers in the community however it strengthened us so so much gave us and added so much to us and not only to us it explained over overpoured into our children how we were able to deal with it and not only to the children who are struggling but also to their siblings but let's be real when all children beyond the children who struggle all family members they all gain tremendously from this by showing all of them how we accept each child and their needs how difficult as difficult as they might be it only gives them all of them confidence and it gives them the good feeling how accepted and how loving their parents are to them and it's only encouraging all of them to go on with life and it helps them all they all grow from it never mind the parents how much we grow from this and we learned to be a model because it's a lot a lot of it has to do with our own ego our self-esteem our own we feel that we must be in control of every situation and when we see that we don't have to we learn a lot and we all grow so let's give ourselves a round of applause for taking the courage and gods to participate in this shabbos this meaningful event this uplifting sabbath kesha nafshi davila melissa and taylor shiramaluis esso a night elohurim we know look up at the mountains i pick up my eyes my eyes i look at the mountains and i think where is my health going to come from i feel helpless this is the push-up shot cause i'll tell us no i'll tickle her don't read it the mountains eloha hoidim the parents you know whether the melees might say over here that was a shot can really be over here in our situation mostly especially aloha when a child can look up at the holyroom at the parents looked upon his parents look to his parents for love for acceptance for help in such a situation even may iron iron can also mean nothing iron mean efforts for iron nothing may iron even if this child has nothing else working for him or for her you voyagery i already get my help because if i have my parents i am helped and this is why we are here this sabbath to make sure that we all understand and we stay focused and we can all together embrace this problem and engage embrace the solution by showing and being there for our kids and then we can be there as we and this for this says sheer it's a song he sings with happiness because this is uplifting it uplifts the kids who need so much our help who needs so much our acceptance who needs so much our love in order for them to exist in order for them to keep on and growing and let's go back and remember not only those kids will struggle it helps the entire family it gives the message to each and every child in our family how accepted they are no matter what they are loved just for being our children as we struggle with the hierarchies we have our generations that keep falling one generation is not for the previous generation was because i always say however you know let's give you the good word on the other side there i can tell you that some generations in some aspects we get better than the previous generation like myself as a matter of fact i have two dishwashers one for milk dairy one for flaccid for meat my mother didn't have doesn't have that she has used the same dishwasher for milkhike and flaisic my father washes both he's a dishwasher so not always if you read this we have something to go in favor as we gather here this shabbos what comes to mind is a famous saying those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music we are all considered insane by our surroundings who don't hear our music we come together we meet likewise people who do hear the same music we find sanity and we dance here at this shabbos we come together as a community we all hear the same music we understand each other here's the right place we are ish as we are here this shabbos we must remember and we should not feel strange here we're all in it together let's confront each other let's comfort each other don't be embarrassed to ask the one who sits next to you or dives next to you ask him what brings you here give him a word of encouragement tell him your story share your hit your story let him share his you'll both come to the same conclusion whenever you have a positive message of something love and acceptance how much it helped you and how much it helped your child and stay focused on that as it passes let's look at a message from this partial and we can take home a a nice message from this hashem i'll take you out from the pain the whatever you suffered the sufferings that you have in me trying when she came and as soon as he mentioned to the eden aniya sami started saying the message of hassan they didn't listen to him the politics said foreign breath hard work rashid says is pain when a person is in pain he has a short breath they did not listen to moisture they were in pain they couldn't focus on what moisture albania says he was talking talking sense to them trying to tell them they're going to be out of a triumph soon as soon as he started talking about hashem god he lost them completely but shall ban it comes back to hashem and he says hashem how do you expect power to listen to me when even the eden didn't listen to me it was for their good and if they don't listen to me how do you expect pirates to listen to me why are you sending me to parody and then mushroom adds and he says and i am also sawing i don't have a clear speech my speech is damaged and how can i come in front of paraguay so crisp addresses very nicely mushroom is concerned about this speech and it tells them i will add a harem to go with you to power it however his first concern of this culver hoymer that he said you don't see how hashem addressed it he didn't answer it he measured when he told spoke logic he made sense however what hashem told moisture it's very simple he didn't even address it when he'd not in pain when a person is in pain no logic comes into play don't don't talk logic don't come with logic don't try to work with logic it doesn't it doesn't come into play it doesn't relate you know what else what most of other assemblies would have told them don't focus on logic don't focus on on your you make sense of what you're talking about don't focus on that one cloud i want to tell you as he's not in pain why did he command them to to the eden and she explains and i will repeat the words of rashi hashem told me just i command you to lead them banachas the lisboil oism you should lead them gently and with patience that's all you need when they're in pain lead them gently and with patience not with logic no arguments don't explain anything the message even goes beyond that the message says almanas [Music] even if the eden will come and curse you and bombard you and throw stones and rocks at you you should still lead them with gently you should still lead them gently and with patience nothing else beyond that in our simple words this is love and acceptance when someone is in pain remember logic plays no role let's take this message along from this parasha just our last sabbath was a mess bish the gods from mesbas and i'll tell you something nice it's a thought that came to my mind the mesmers and i want to share it with you as i was standing and governing in the school which is built on the exact place where the bashant of once once stood and i was starving shabbos morning chakras right behind the place of the balshem where he used to dive which is probably the holiest place in florida they're in the alba amos of where the bashantava kurdish had his fellows it went up and over there as i was standing and i prepared myself to die and i was saying google is ruled before this monastery something came to mind and i feel it's worth sharing with you perhaps it will work for some somehow somewhere i felt that the message that i might bring back we all say when someone is sick we wish him shabbat himalaysik it's shabbos we cannot pray each other we don't do this my astrid to pray for everything the reform will come soon as forum explained that because we cannot darwin by the fueno we will have you in mind when we say the swah of akras barco and we say in the beginning of holland as we say that the hilo is hashem that's where we have your mind so if you are a croissant this comes even before because it's in the closer part of the sooner part of me right in the beginning so that's where we have your mind so shabbos even if we're not allowed to ask for something we're not allowed to dive in expressly for our torah and for our needs but we can push it in as we give shrapnel we tell him how great he is in his greatness in there in the door we can have in mind what we need and as i was standing there i thought you know what let's make this summer when i throw it at the sabbath we came here to masbas and for the sake of our kids let me have them in mind and i asked her curtis barfu the summer overnight throughout the shabbos i want blaze for all my own kids to be showing very shabbos so let me share this with you maybe it's a good idea for people to think of that in our struggles and in our situations to have our kids and minds as we come to the chamber venezuela when we come into this partial when we get to this suggest when we see children struggling let's just remember one thing we are in a unprecedented situation it's a case that has no re no sources in toil gomorrah [Music] how do you handle if one of your children goes what we call today otd i don't say otd we all know today it's all out of pain out of trauma it's called it's triggered by something that causes it and therefore it's not really otd it's yiddish type that we know is structured on a person being a person but when a person is broken there's no person there there's nothing to build yiddish kite on so it's not otd it's not over there we can say i'm there their data people that kids that struggle and there is no source no guidance in halacha what we're supposed to do in these situations our first dilemma and let me first say i don't judge my neighbors i don't judge extended family for judging us and this is why just a few years ago i was one of them i know exactly why this happened at this family why it happened by this family the mother or the father i knew i knew exactly whom to blame and this is how all of us were until it didn't hit us so i don't really judge anyone however the dilemma that we face is and we all ask even we as we start this whole person and we say what if i'm going to accept this child if i am going to show him love no matter what what message am i sending to the rest of the family what will be with the rest of this family what will be with the other kids what will be with the neighbors kids as their concerns what will be with the children with the other children one thing we got to remember is a very interesting aloha if a child a baby is born we all know that until 30 days of age a child is not even considered the barakayama it's an eiffel if a child like this passes away we don't even set shiva however as soon as this child started being born if the doctor says it's a situation dangerous situation either the child or the mother we cannot save both we have to kill the child in order to save if we want to save the mother we cannot do this with nephesh in other words here's a mother she has 16 kids at home we all know what it means losing a mother how this will ruin and what a bad effect adverse effect this might have on 16 kids at home shouldn't we take them into consideration first and say they need a mother they cannot be affected no matter what and we should kill this baby who's not about kaioma yet but no aloha tells us you cannot push away enough s in order to save other nfs even if it means as many in the forces there's no such a thing many many halokens are similar to this how can we consider pushing away a child who suffers pushing away a child who struggles because we have in mind that we have other kids who we need to focus on we see it today we see what happens as we push away children they might never return you're talking roughness and even in gas meals we can see many suicides how many they cannot suffer they cannot take the pain anymore how can we risk this be a dying with our own hands to push him away ain't one dilemma that that keeps coming up and people try to use it as a source and a toilet and you throw it at us and they say hey what about the shmuel hashem told everyone to throw out the small perhaps this was the argument between abraham and surah sorry mainu tells abram you have ishmael here he's ruining his hock avrom tells us or perhaps maybe it will ruin him maybe it won't but i cannot go be a dime and throw out the small and neverest me nephes i don't know what to do i'm lost but i cannot kick him out this is not an answer you know what chris bother tells everyone he tells everyone he never thought of rome send the way you smile she looked into the pusic all he said was call ash maba koilop whatever sooner says listen to her and rashi explains a very strange explanation that from here you can see that sora emenu was bigger in navua in prophecy she was bigger than avrom and the question is is mind boggling where comes navua into this situation where comes navaway into the equation over here is this something that they were talking about the future nevua the answer is yes because when aron told surah if i'm going to kick out ishmael he's never going to return i'm going to lose him and sorry i see benevola my prophecy that you are not going to lose him he's going to come back don't worry about him and for that told them she is in a veal she knows and you can throw him away if you're not a navi and you don't see benevola that it's not going to ruin your child you cannot take upon yourself to throw that child away you cannot take upon yourself to hurt that child to a way that the child will be forced out of the house or to set rules in the house that will force the child out of the house no you cannot aim deuteronomy nephesh and this is what we should remember this shabbos let's take all let's all take home tremendous hazard beyond all the speeches beyond all the advice that you will hear over here the most important is to stay connected with each other be more hassling each other and this will help us all until we're going to beat zoe to the big lakers going to take all of us home no matter how we look like he can make it say saying we might try him the way he looked in the traffic we went out the trying we would have memphis and the same thing with repeat [Music] on the floor is going to be happening again the mashiach will come real soon and hey there we are new oman thank you