You Have Everything. Why Does It Still Feel Like Something’s Missing?

Boker tov, everyone. Good morning. Thank you so much for coming. The month of Heshvan is sponsored by [clears throat] Dina Tobin for the refuah shleimah of Machlis bas Malka by Ayala and Yonatan Finn for a complete refuah shleimah of Ayala's mother, Yudit bas Sarah. Anonymously for refuah shleimah of Esther bas Rochel and Nachman Miriam bas Tina Pearl. Yael Avigail bas Chana Devorah and Galia bas Yehudis. The day is sponsored today by Shimon Frankiel and Sarah Fishman l'ilui nishmas Shmuel ben Chaim David zikhrono livrakha and by Sara Goldberg l'ilui nishmas Nachman ben Efraim and Miriam on his 24th yahrtzeit for the refuah shleimah of Gershon Leib ben Baila Figel who's having surgery today and for the hatzlacha of Hadas Chava Yokheved bas Baruch Shmuel ve Sara. Yishar koach. Yishar koach to all the sponsorships. Okay. On the page that on the the the handout that we gave out, we're going to be starting from the the third paragraph, Ofdan. The word Ofdan. But I'm going to give a I'm going to We're still in the hakdamah. So it's a gevald. We're still in hakdamah of the sefer of Rav Sasson that now, as we mentioned before, baruch Hashem, the sefarim are here. There's a few more left for purchase, so they're they're right here and the link to pay is I sent it out on the groups. So you can just do it directly to the shul. So as much as I want to thank my dear friend Kobi Fleishman for organizing this and making sure that um we could have the actual sefer. And I always say it's it always we always look firmer when we walk around with the sefer. It's enough of a reason to get one. It's safer with the safer. Now, the problem with finding the page on the on the sefer is that it's not there's no page numbers in the sefer, so I'm going to go like this. In the hakdamah, one, two, three, four. We're on the fifth page of the Hakdamah. >> Of the Hakdamah? >> Okay. The fifth page of the Hakdamah. Yeah, the the first the first the first word of the page is Amakod. And we're starting from the word of done. Now, I'm I'm going to quickly the most there's no need to do too much of a recap because I think and based on the conversations I've been having with you over this last week since we last learned Yesh po mashu gadol meod. There's some big light coming down over here. How do you know? Because each person can relate when when each person can relate to something and and it sounds a little bit different, but it reaches each person then you understand that the kind of Torah that we're learning is shiyach to our door to our generation. We want Torah that we feel is speaking right to us. And Rav Sasson is just doing it in his magnificent magnificent way. Everyone wants to figure out today what do I need to do in this world? We have to remember that that is not a something that was happening in previous generations. It wasn't. Everyone wants to know what they're supposed to be doing in this world. What is their personal way of shining their personal light, their unique light, and making a change? But that it's not a given that that that this was what life was like and we need to really spend time on this for a second. What does that mean? And could it be that people live their lives for many years without really trying to understand what their unique light is all about? The answer is yes. Because we were in survival mode for 2,000 years in galut. In galut, in exile, no one dreamt of trying to figure out what makes them special and what's their special light light their atzmiut. No no one thought about these things and for much more on that I have Mekhila, I highly recommend going to my to be in a sheer on Sunday mornings because that's where Rav Sasson develops this in much greater detail and it's a because these two of and absolutely complementing each other and filling in gaps with each other. and so thick But now that we're here back after 2000 years at Smith is this as we've been learning over and over again in this that if whatever is being charged in the front whatever is the calling of the door you will see that the other side of the situation is going to come and try to make it that much more difficult. You could think >> [clears throat] >> I finally have this desire to figure out who I am what makes me special and what I'm supposed to bring to the world and you would think excuse [clears throat] me that I shall be just be oh my God is so happy that that I came to that conclusion is just so happy that I came to that conclusion and then you start going into the whole in your mind saying why I can't believe it now you're making this so hard how could that be you see I'm finally showing up I want to I want to shine my own light now you're going to make it even more difficult and you have to remember that if there's a challenge and I want you to listen to this and I'm talking to myself as I'm saying this you must we all must remember the following thing if you have no challenge in front of you that's trying to block you away from your own personal light and that thing which you thought you discovered about yourself is not so much because the thing that you figured out or you have a sense of what's happening inside of you will have an enemy it will have a second exit if if there's nothing if there's no to what you're doing then it means that what you didn't either you didn't really figure it out or it's not so important Look I'm having such a week cuz I got so many like disgusting letters this week. It was beautiful. >> [laughter] >> About a certain work of Avoda, but that's how you and I met. If I didn't have these Torahs in front of me, I'd lose it a million times over. A million times over. So, therefore, I just want to give us the strength to understand that as we learn continue to learn this safer, and there's going to be things that are going to be starting to come up out of like wow, like wow. Is it my my me my my personal thing that I want to do in this world is not becoming clear yet, but there's an urge for it. Do not get startled at all when there's a hitnagdut, when there's an opposition to it. Of course, there's going to be an opposition to it. It's the final battle. It's the final battle. Because Am Yisrael showing up in its full glory means that everyone understands that they're vital. That their own inyan is vital, not just for survival, but for thriving. That's it. That's the end of the other side. So, this door, what are we seeing? We are seeing a tzama. A thirst [snorts] like we've never seen before for a lot of we could say a lot of very use a lot of holy >> [snorts] >> concepts and terminology. But the most the deepest thing is people are not the real nishamas are not satisfied. They're not satiated with Torah that does not connect them to their shoresh neshama. They're not. And chalilah is something that they don't hear they don't hear it from anywhere else. They don't they look around the world of Torah like I don't know. I don't think I guess people are I guess I'm just not child cuz it seems like everyone else around me is like fine with just, you know, learning the feeling good about I don't want to go into detail learning things that I don't really turn me on to my ikkar neshama. But it's spreading and it's spreading like wildfire. And this week my wife and I met many many many nishamas that are holding in this in this Torah. They're holding in this world. And when I lose my center, when I lose focus, and that which makes me inside really feeling like I'm aligned with myself, I just have to realize I need to realign. I need to stop, I need to pause, and I need to ask certain questions that [clears throat] will realign me to finding out what is my feel like into the task kid of cloud Israel. Everything we're saying has another word for it. It has another phrase, has another title for it. It's called the reappearance of the Shkhinah. It's called the reappearance of the Shkhinah. >> [clears throat] >> That's really one of the main reasons why I felt it was more shy after learning this safer here in this year, and you're going to give it over to your husbands. Right? No, very convincing. >> [laughter] >> Because this is your task kid to lead it. Um Having said all that, let's jump right back inside. Last week we were speaking about the fact that there are more distractions today than ever for a human being, for a human individual, to be able to stay focused on figuring out their anee. There are more distractions than ever. Again, that's because this is the last battle before Messiah is coming. Of course there's going to be more distractions than ever. Of course there will be. It also Thank you so much. It also What what What what can make Shabbos more difficult than ever? Because the more distracted you are during the week, the more that on Shabbos, you can't blame the distractions on any devices, so you have a more of a of a gishak to the premium of Shabbos. >> [snorts] >> And we're entering the, you know, we're entering into this world called Yom Shekulo Shabbos. You know the famous band in the They were a famous band when I was a kid in and and all over Israel and in other places. It's called Reva L'Sheva. Remember? Why are they called Reva L'Sheva? Right before Shabbos. >> Reva Lesheva, it's a quarter to seven. That was that that was the Indian behind the name. It's almost Shabbos, Reva Lesheva. So, it's like I think it's like kind of like Chamisha Lesheva now. Like if you started a new band, it's like Chamisha Lesheva, it's five minutes till Shabbos, right? We're we're we're there. We're there cuz things are getting much clearer in the in as a state and as a country. Don't you feel like everything's become much clearer this week? Like we have a Derek and >> [laughter] >> Right? So, that means it's going to get it Listen, it's going to get Yeah, every this morning my our girls woke up. So, >> In a few hours, who won >> [laughter] >> the whole thing today? >> Chamisha Lesheva, I mean, five minutes to seven to seven. Okay. The loss of of this ani, of this independent of this inner calling of just me. And forgetting what it means to live a life of inner kedusha. This is the great challenge of our generation. And because it seems that living a life of kedusha on a personal and collective level seems to have been forgotten, it's the after these things that they teach us about the great light that's asking to be to to let let itself be revealed. The light of what makes me tick. The light of my own my own shlichus in the world. The abundance of real life Each one of us is filled with the most treasure of of vitality of of being alive. And it wants to reveal itself. It wants to come out. >> [snorts] >> So, many of you have this I I want I want to find out. I want to find out. I'll do anything. I'll have to figure this out. It wants to come out. Why does it it never wanted to come out more than this door? So it has to humble us. Like wow. Even if it hasn't come out yet. That's an amazing thing. Just a beautiful thing. What's the truth? These I don't know what that means. Like I don't know how to walk around with you know with with with a corrective lens that can detect the size of souls. But even without the corrective lens detecting the size of souls, it's clear to all of us. We're around the greatest door. These the nishamas today that are that are that are looking for something are big big nishamas. And we're And we're also part of them. In the inside what are they really asking for in the the big nishamas of today? They're not necessarily looking to come up with the deepest hidushim or I'm going to complete the whole shas three times in my life. Maybe. But that that's not the thing that defines the nishamas of our door. It's that inside they're asking to live big life, a big life, real life. They want to be creative. They want to be artists. original The door today the big nishamas don't want to be even if they're great they don't want to be the greatest imitators or impersonators. They want something very very big. illuminating and that cream how would you say that? >> radiate >> to project a life radiate life. Chaim and bracha and blessing. What kind of a life? We don't understand the realm of [snorts] theory. The door today, the generation today, the big nishamas today, want to be proactive. They want to be doing. They're not okay with just sitting on the sidelines and hearing great ideas. Learning about great people. It doesn't really do that anymore. You You notice that that's not really doing it for people anymore, just to hear about great people. What people really want today is to be themselves great people. To do big things. Tova ve'orah, that what I do brings goodness and light to the world. I want a life of chaim she bahem kol echad. Yachush et erko meyuchad. A life that each person gets a sense of how precious they really are. No one thought like this. If you went to your parents You think I'm going to say 100 years ago? 20 years ago. 30 years ago. And you said Uh Mom, I want to dedicate my life to finding out what makes me tick. What's so special about me? First call is to the guidance is to the you know the Right? The The The guidance counselor, the social worker you know the mashuga the fool. I don't want my kid to be stuck with such a you know. Today, if you don't have this, you should have a fool right? Every person wants to sense what's special about their own value. It or hanifla. Vetzarich la'ir la'olam the special wondrous light that you can and will illuminate and shine to the world. And the fact that this challenge is so hard just shows us how big the actual dream is. How big the ratzon really is. Because how many people can you say about them they figured out what makes them tick, they figured out what's special about them. They figured out the or and they also figured out the kaylim, the vessels. How many people could say How many people do you know that you could say about them they tuned into their own special light. Let's say your husband has a really good chush in this or and kaylim it. Facebook could jail him as long as they want, he's not going anywhere. Or what I know is is is my light to bring to the world and kaylim together, it's the complete package. It's the complete package. How many people do we know like that? I tell you, I know so many kaylim chaburas. And the or is cute if it's it's like a luxury if they get it. Kaylim, they're good. Now, I know way more or chabura with the zero kaylim. Zero kaylim. And they want kaylim so badly. They want kaylim so badly. I mean, the whole world of psychedelics is really if and the pnimius of it is this calling for the merger between these two worlds of orot and kaylim, it's not a it's not stam. It's not stam that there is this calling in this door much more than the 60s about doing things in a way that I can come out with or and kaylim, but obviously we understand that we have something much more powerful than anything external, it's all inside of us. It's all in here. And we're choleshing for a Torah that connects our light and our vessels. We're choleshing for it. I don't ever want to translate that word, khalisheng. Khalisheng for it. Okay, so hamabata zeh, bottom line, bottom paragraph. She be doing atzmiut tzircha legalo to Torah. So, what what is this about that in our door, the atzmiut, this light we're talking about, the individuals own shining in the world, needs to reveal its own light. Na'utz beshorashim amukim me'od. It's edged, it's found, it's rooted in very ancient roots, in deep roots. Mevo'ar besefarim hakadoshim. This is what we were talking about in the beginning of shiur. It's brought down in the holy books. She'a atzmiut shel kol echad miYisrael, let's give it another word. That thing that makes my own light, my thing I have to do in the world, let's give it another world word right now, for to make to make things add up a little bit more. He's going to give it to us. He nitzotz me'or hashchinah. It's a spark from the light of the shchinah. That's what it is. Now, what happened after churban bait churban beit hamikdash? What happened to the shchinah? >> It lost first. >> Dis- either it was dispersed, it left, it was exiled. But, let's take it a step back. What did it mean to to live in a state of shchinah? When the shchinah was residing. What what did that mean? What did that look like? Mhm? I'm not going to let you get away with that very clever word. What does that mean? What did it look like? What did it feel like to walk around? I We we We're never forced to do these things cuz it's terminologies that we said, "Ah, it's shiyach for that door." No, let's let's figure out what we're trying to get back to and even more and even deeper. What did it mean to live, and I'm going to kind of like push you to to Okay, I'm not going to I'm not worried. What did it mean to to live in a world where the shchinah was present? As if I know. I don't have You understand? I'm not like telling you I'll tell you what it was cuz I was there but based on this firm what did it mean? So you're saying unity. So what does that mean? >> Community is everyone like it was like together like it like you don't see the other person as another person. He's an extension of you. >> An extension of you. >> Yeah. It's like uh >> If I'm I I fully understand >> that the like we all these things that we say like they should be we should love the other like we like us like I think that that's appealing to me. >> You're fine. My old what does it mean to anyone else that you could imagine what it meant to live in a world where the Shekinah was present? >> Pure holiness. >> Hm? >> Pure holiness. >> So what does that mean? >> Everybody was on such a high level. >> Everyone was on a high level. How did they get there? Just cuz the Shekinah was there? Just cuz the Shekinah was there there was a hit a loot? Lillian? >> Um maybe [clears throat] it's just that >> I'm sorry I can't hear you. >> It was about having the vessel to receive. >> Meaning the light was there but the Shekinah was that there was a vessel to receive it. Uh Okay we're going to get back to that. What else? Yeah I'm going to leave it. >> I think it's very good. >> I'm sorry? >> Very good. I think it's similar to what you were saying but like a a much more natural connection to Hashem and to ourselves and to each other. >> Natural meaning I didn't have to work so hard on what? >> On the the connection and the recognition of Hashem like we didn't say brochos. Right? Because we need that now to like tap us back in. There was like a natural >> consciousness flow of consciousness yeah. >> that that came >> Chazak. Chazak mad. What else? It's there's no wrong answer here unless you tell me something really I'm going to throw it off you know. What else is there? And the Shekinah yeah. >> It reminds me of what we were learning in in your class. Like you don't know like you don't have [clears throat] a need if you're just full. There was all the time >> Uh-huh. >> There was no separation of anything. You're just full cuz it's like when you're in the room, you're just being fed. Like there's no need there's nothing that you feel the government my old Ah, so there's real there's real joy. >> Yeah. >> There's real joy. There was real joy. Why was there real joy? Because of because you don't walk around feeling a lacking. Most of us what why are we walking around so it's so broken and depressed all the time? All the time. Always there's always a fog there's always a lacking. No. Sorry. Because there's a fog, we come to the assumption that there's a hisaron. >> Or we can't see it. We can't see it. >> Right. So because we can't it's not tangible, it leads us to say there's something missing in me. I'm not That's why people you know go through the whole Indian of I'm not good enough and all those self-persecuted doubts and and many of them that everyone goes through. Now so can you imagine living in a world where the Shkhinah resides? Like let's take everything we said right now. Now imagine a world where the Shkhinah resides. The vagueness Shlemus Kedusha achdus all these things are true. What is it today when you are so soon as saying when you have this dachaf to shine your own light or to discover what your own light is, it's an itsots it's a spark of the light of the Shkhinah. It's a spark of the of that light that we described right now. Now he explains this in a very unique way. We're in the third We're in the third to bottom paragraph line. He needs my old Shkhinah. A Shkhinah A Shkhinah the Shkhinah Knesset Israel mamash the absolute opposite of the Knesset today. Okay? And the absolute Shlemus Shkhinah and Bisyone that we're seeing happening in this place that they took this terminology which mamash they should be ashamed of themselves for using such a word because of what it really is Knesset Israel. The Knesset what is the Knesset? The in-gathering of Israel. In-gathering of Israel has 19 19 jihadists right now that are in the Knesset Israel. Listen, today is the unfortunate prophet's yardzeit and it's important to mention his name. 36 years ago today a Jew was murdered in New York. And he was a prophet cuz every single word that he said has happened. Every word that Rav Meir Kahane has said has happened. Maybe you didn't like the way he said it. Get over it. Every word he said has happened. He described that this place called Knesset Israel what what what what took place like we're all trying to figure out who won who won. Do you realize what's happening on the bottom of all this? As much as they can call that it's the political October 7th. We just so focused on this Indian of well who got most and who's going to join and meanwhile these these enemies have grown to numbers that should make us all wake up really really fast and today's is 36 yardzeit. He was killed in November 1990. The Marriott Hotel in Manhattan. So we should have we should have on our own and even if it's uncomfortable to wake us up to wake us up. So the Shekinah is called in Knesset Israel. Why is it called Knesset Israel? As Shem she he Knesset at the Nishamos. Now he gave us a description what Shekinah is. Shekinah gathers in all of the Nishamos. It makes everyone feel like they're part of something. It makes everyone feel like they're part of the right thing too and they're not confused about it. You ever feel like you've gotten and become closer to a certain group? But inside you're not so sure this is really the Indian. Yeah, there's some good things, there's some bad things. And I'm telling that the shkhinah, the light of the shkhinah, it brings you in and you have no sfekot that you you basically say, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world with anyone else in the world." Barur kashemesh. Crystal clear to me, this is where I want to be. Shkhinah, the pre-appearance of shkhinah, is clearly living a life hasar sfekot, without doubts. That's the shlemut that you were talking about. No doubt, that's the or of the shkhinah. Al shem she hi konneset et klalut haneshamot. Hi mekoran v'shorshan. The shkhinah is the root and the source of of all of the nishamot of Am Yisrael. Kakh mevorar basfarim hakdoshim. This is what's said in the holy books. Shema shma'ut hap'nimit l'musag ani hi or hashkhinah. This is what's written in the holy sefarim that the meaning, the inner meaning for the word ani is the light of shkhinah. That's what ani means, the light of shkhinah. L'horot lanu, to teach us she hi hagarin ha'atzmi ha'amok beyoter shel atzmi'ut shelano. That the me, the the ani, is the greatest see the the garin ha'atzmi ha'amok beyoter shel atzmi'ut shelano. The light of the shkhinah is in our in its root, in our root, the greatest, most reliable thing that could tell me this is this is who I am. Identity. It's amazing how now what's happening in the whole world, there's this whole struggle over identity. It's not stam. All [clears throat] these things that we're talking about about the search for the real me. And then look what happens in the world where there's no real or, there's no real kailim. So everyone's going meshuga over how do you identify yourself? I'm not making a joke out it. I'm being very serious about it. What Why is this appearing right now so strongly in the world? Because it's also appearing in us. Is this not a question of our genders? We don't Maybe we don't have it on a We don't have it on a gender We don't have it on a gender level, but we have it on a like a the identity on a tough kid level. I'm like, "What?" So, it's it's it's appearing in the whole world. Cuz this is the This is what it's all about. This is what it's all coming down to. Can you really Can you really get a grip on who you really are and what you want to be in this world? It's also brought down in the holy books. This is I'm telling you if we didn't get if we I'm going a little bit faster today because it's This is really what I wanted to get to today. The process of redemption is a process of the returning to its greatest state of health and to its full or it's not or to the power of its light. And when it's powerful and when it's healthy, there are no questions anymore cuz it's clear to me who I am and what I need to do in this world. I got to loot deal the law at all law. 2,000 years of exile deal deal dimmed its light. How [snorts] do you want to mute the like the moon in its more contracted state or at least state of appearance, right? You will get a lot and in redemption cuz there is a lot of law the whole lot of law there. The law comes back and it's full and it's full light. We may law. So, what I don't know what what ends up happening. You got to do this what you got to do or what you got to do or and this is what I wanted to ask you. What does it mean that an ashama from cloud Israel becomes healthy again and starts to feel strong with their light? What does that look like? It looks like non-apologetic, not confused Yidden. And it's not to be a a a dafkanic by being non-apologetic. It's just I'm I'm not trying to make a statement. I'm actually just enabled to be myself. You want to You want to label me being myself a statement? That's your go go stick a brain. But when when the Shekinah comes back in its full glory and it's in its in its most healthiest way and its strength and its light is shining bright, I don't have to tell anybody anything about why I'm simply being myself. And when you come across Jews that are apologetic about anything that has to do with them being themselves, they're still That's an as a Jew Jew. We've spoken about this many time many many times. As a Jew Jews have to keep on You know what I mean by as a Jew Jews? You You don't have to see this in the world? Well, as a Jew, anyone that says that is about to tell you something horrible about Am Yisrael. As a Jew You know You don't know about this? >> I don't hear much here in this area. >> It's true. It's true. It's true. Honestly, it's it's I have this discussion with with not to name drop it's just one of the Yidden I know here. Whenever I speak to Michael Rapaport, it's always about this in you He's He's this Yid who's the mamish one of the holiest and filthiest mouths that ever existed. We're still We're still working on him. He He has this aura but here I don't know how he got this from October 7th. It's like Hashem said, "That little Cohen, he's a Cohen." Michael, yeah, he's a Cohen. Michael, can't explain it to you. There's to be clear light coming your way. Can't explain it to you. Just yesterday. I might whatever. The the Shekinah comes back, it means I I don't understand how anyone can see things differently. Like but the Yidden that that are still stuck in this as a Jew and then they feel the need to say something. If you look at what's been going on, they're trying to give [cough] excuses [clears throat] and explanations for all the things that are still trying to prevent the light of the Shekinah to come into the world. And it's always in the name of humanitarian causes. It's always in the name of this so-called holy shtuyot, the concept of holiness that was created by by people that have nothing to do with the Shekinah. Nothing. That's why over here that what touched me so deep when he said Nishmot Israel to be healthy and strong. Oran You see a generation today of men and women that are they're becoming healthy again. Health How do you know you're healthy? You're strong. You don't have to convince your limbs give them excuses why they should move. It's all happening in Now I do connect more to what you're saying. All the limbs of the body and that's you're speaking about that on Sunday. All limbs of the body are working more in unison and there's there's there's a and there's a harmony to how these things work. It's exactly the prophecy of Yechezkel. When our source is filled with light. When the end of the second paragraph. As I call on a five minute the ship of a sheer bigger than our ship of I mean I made call plug of the of love the mind frame. Then all the how do you say the the the places that there was a drought, the uh you know, all the river banks that all the all the the swamps suddenly begin to receive such nourishment. They've been waiting a swamp. He's saying here basically is this space that you look at it and you'll be like, "Ugh, disgusting." But if you listen to the pnemic of it, what is it calling out? It's saying, "I'm waiting to be nourished. I'm waiting to be filled. I'm waiting to be filled. So we could look at certain kids today that aren't working well in the system. You look at them, what a swamp. Shamashma. If you listen closely to what they're saying, and I have a lot of these conversations with parents that I'm privileged to talk to about their children, but I met deep down inside they're saying, "Listen, I need a hose to come here right now and fill me, but I have to tell you the honest truth. You, Mom and Dad, are not really you're not tuned in with this door. So the hose that you're going to spritz on me is going to make me even drier and drier. I need a hose that's coming from the Shekinah. I need a hose that's coming from the light, from this type of light that we're speaking about. So please, please for your sake, get a better hose. Fill your own otzarot. Fill your own, you know, >> They say a lot you can't fill someone else's cup unless yours is full type of thing. Like unless we keep just letting it pour out like this. How do I and now they need us to fix ourselves first. >> That's why I always say that children need to see their parents on the most coolest fire. Not too fiery cuz then the kid freaks out, thinks his parents are freaks. Cool fire. Fire that's cool. You know? Fire that's cool. Fire, but it's cool. Cool meaning it's wow, you're you're into cool things, but also like the it doesn't, you know, it doesn't burn. Yeah, it doesn't burn. How many children of we know that I don't have to tell you this. How many children of the most a most beautiful ba'alei teshuvah that got burnt out. I mean, this is uh not a new thing. And some of you are in the room as well. Sometimes like some of the biggest like social media heretics are kids of ba'alei teshuvah. [clears throat] Kids of ba'alei teshuvah. The parents were on fire fire fire. At that time, that's what they needed, but today's children need something else. They may be feel like swamps, but they want to be filled with water that's coming from the source of the light of Shechinah. So, what does that look like? So, water that's coming from the light of Shechinah, that means being invited to a world of Torah that is not only not threatening. When you give it to them, you when you give it to that person that's starving for real, they can't get enough of it. But, it's not necessarily that they can't get enough and they take on more and they take on more. We've met those types of people. Doesn't last like that. It's not that they take on more necessarily. Maybe they take on things, but it's a more cool fire. It's gradual. It's healthy and it's done in a shleimus'diker way. It's done in a in a in a complete way that doesn't threaten people. It's done in a way that I don't know how to describe it exactly, but it's just done in a in a shleimus'diker way. I'm just going to keep it at that. And that's what's happening in this door. You may look at the door and see swamps. I don't know. I see I see like I told you last week in shul, I see tattoos that are that are that those tattoos are basically like the most incredible like screaming out to the world, "I need something to touch me in my bones and this is the closest to my actual bone. So, I'll choose a pasuk or I'll choose something that I don't know what something that for me it makes me feel alive cuz no one else is saying anything that makes me feel alive in my kishkes. And this is the closest thing to my kishkas. Now, again, I am not >> [laughter] >> No, no, no. One kid came up to me after shul. He came in in the middle of the drasha. And he said to me, he waited This kid never waits. He waited the whole line of haver that say good shabbos. And he was so excited. He said, I am I he I said, "I'm running home to tell my mom that you said I should that you talked about kedushas kakuim, like the holiness of one kid, one kid." I said to him, "Listen to me, brother. You you have to be in full of full drasha. I can't I can't explain to you how essential it is, but I for you know, obviously I told him chas v'chalila, chas v'shalom. I said, "But why?" I got so He got so excited that he finally found a rav that is promoting, you know, kakuim. >> [laughter] >> Finally, you know, I stood then I started talking to him about chas v'maluach libecha. My kids were waiting so late. I had to I haven't actually I haven't checked in with him since shabbos. I have to make sure. But even here right now, I want you to understand, I'm explaining what's happening with the door. I'm explaining what's happening with the door. This is just if there's something very, very deep. Like we look at them and be like, "Look how they're mashtin their bodies." It's true, cuz when we were kids, who got a tattoo? People that spent time in jail. Mainly. It wasn't It wasn't the It wasn't the Or or or Hell's Angels or people that came back from Vietnam. And and just, you know, the extreme extreme cases, right? But it's not like that today. There's something else that's going on in the world. Obviously, it's it's it's it's still a sad thing that this is what This is how people feel the need to express themselves. But we all know that you look at you talk to these neshamos, they're the deepest deepest mevakshim and mevakshots for something real. This is their way of finding their anee. Do you understand? There is no more There's no greater expression for them than the giluy of their ani than their ani, than their own body and and expressing something through it. For them, there's no greater expression. And we have to be conscious that when we're looking at these neshamos and realizing I wish that I could do that in the kosher way, meaning I wish that I could write something, carve something into me, into my soul in the holiest, most kosher way as well. That's what Pnimius HaTorah is trying to trying to get us to do cook belibenu beviserenu something, to carve something into us. Al ken navin, next paragraph. Sha'atzmius HaPnimius Shelanu Hin Ha'atzmius HaKlalis, Or HaShchinah. We're not talking just about ourselves. It's the appearance of the light of the Shchinah. V'Hin Ha'atzmius HaPratis Shel Kol Echad Meitanu, and our inner independence, not independence cuz that's that's the wrong word for this this year. The inner I, the inner me, the private me of each and every one of us is becoming redeemed, holeches v'nigeiles. Holeches um v'mevakeshes litzmoach v'laha'ir. Baruch Hashem, there's so many women in this room that I've had the the humbling conversation of of hearing from them how they want to find out what how to how to discover and what to do with the discovery of them, of their of their inyan in the world, of their light in the world. And you know, I still mention her, even though we haven't seen her in a while, but she's still one of my rebbe's. Esty really taught me this. Esty that that has been through so much, our dear friend Esty Glavintz, and she mock calls me for saying this. But this is a person that the Sfas Emes of Daniel says, so I want to mention, >> [snorts] >> found us because when we first moved here, I think it was Monday nights we were doing the shiur out of the house in the bottom of Potomac Terrace. You were there, Ruth, you were there. And then, you were there, and Khana Sara, you were there. A few of the were were there. Daniel came with his with his video, and he would It was the beginning It was like 12 12 years ago, I'm not sure if it was then. >> [snorts] >> And the first few videos of my sheer he filmed, and he would post them. She found the video, and she had just She was living here for a few years, living where she lived on the other side of Efrat. And she wrote a comment, like, "Where can you learn Torah like this?" And we I think he responded I think Daniel actually told her. Anyway, she started coming, and we all know she's been through the nightmare of all nightmares of losing losing a son, David in the army. What's her ani? What's What became her ani atzmi? That she knows she needs to do this in the world? The most incredible incredible tfila on Rosh Chodesh Nissan. That still goes on till today. And it It's not just a tfila, it's become a day of learning. I saw I And when she started doing it, I saw a person that knew exactly, with all the pain that comes with it, exactly what it needs to do. It's a shina type of experience of living in this world. When you have something and never None of us should ever come to the after come to this clarity due to pain and loss. The whole The whole secret is to come to this clarity out of out of joy and out of excitement. Um So, I just when I read these words, I just I don't know I I I think of her very strongly, and I think of her and her family quite often, and she's part of our learning forever. >> [snorts] >> So, to Daniel, to Esti. Never thought I'd say this, but to YouTube, because that really was the That's how it happened. Lachen, third line in the third paragraph. Or has she been with you and the shamot to get all the Understand something. The light of the Shekinah, it's not anymore something foreign that took place thousands of years ago. It's happening in real time right now through the souls that are alive now. And you see it clearest I'm not saying only but you see it clearest in Eretz Israel. I don't want to say only. What do I know? It just seems that you see it clearest in the headquarters of the Shekinah, which is here. In Eretz Israel. >> [snorts] >> This light of the Shekinah is very big. The deep longings that are hidden in the deepest depths of the of the hearts of the souls of this generation means the real wantings, the longings. They're big stuff. People want big stuff. People aren't happy with small things. They're People demand they really want big things. Dreams of holiness. And strong wills and desires of fresh and renewed souls. All this abundant lies and rests in the depth of this inner potential. And it's crying out to be revealed into the world. If you don't feel satisfied with your good life you're not crazy at all. I personally can't connect to anyone that tells me, "What are you kvetching about? There's more shefa today than there ever was before. There's more abundance today than there ever was before. Do you know what your grandpa your grandparents lived? You should know that the bore is coming from the other side. Why? Be the youth mazel kashul to what this door is all about. Abundance material abundance has nothing to do with answering what the nishamas of this door are all about. It's clear the people that have less are much more in tune with their ani. We know this. We've seen this. But if anyone comes and tells you what would you when you you're kvetching you know what your grandmother went through? Those those are that lashon. Is honestly is in my cheek at the door at the nishamas shall I do. It it it it it it distances people away. Why? Because that's nothing to do with the issue at hand. Nothing. It's something so much we want something so much more. So yes, the fact that I have on a material level maybe I have everything maybe I have more than everything maybe I have more than any generation had before me. I'm not the only meshugana that feels that what's wrong with me? I have everything. Nothing wrong with you. You're actually very healthy. Your soul is asking for much bigger things than ever was before. It's not asking for more homer. It's not asking for more material. Your soul is asking for something big. So if you have an inner hunger in your heart for something big and people come to you and say you have everything. Look, you're blessed with a husband, you're blessed with healthy children. You don't deny that that the blessing and the heart is filled with gratitude. But you want something not more than that. It's nothing that you want more than that. You want to live in a world where those blessings of a family or of a kehilla or of an Eretz Yisrael can appear below olam in its full light. In its healthiest state. So wanting more, you're not uh uh what was what's the word you'd say for someone that just always wants more? You're not a chazzier. hot a fookh You're not a chazzier. You're not You're not You're not uh How would you say it in English when you >> greed >> You could say maybe greedy, but there's You're not ungrate- Yeah, this is the important word. It's not that you're ungrateful. This is a very important. It's not that you're ungrateful. It's just that you happen to be aware that you're part of the door that you're actually part of. And anyone that comes and tries to pull this ungrateful trip on you, they themselves haven't tasted their own neshama's for a second. Cuz if they did, they'd understand how much more every soul of this door wants. And I I I hope I'm clear the distinction is very important. It was it clear enough or do we have to repeat it? It's clear? Yes, sir. >> May Hashem give us a lot of a lot of luck and continuing with this safer.