Should You Pray for Yourself on Rosh Hashanah?

Good morning everybody. Good morning >> and welcome to my mom is what this is. This is our last year for Tuffshin P V for 57.86 we're sponsored by the silver family in memory of also by dedicated learning memory to of Sarah Abram and by the visels for the Sarah Jacob and for Esther. The week is sponsored by the almonds and for the rafu of melanch also by the gavnik family in memory of Jerry's mother Ari's grandmother on the occasion of her 20th yard site uh today right today 20th and we continue to learn's mother perak of mohees to do something very short, very simple because I I'm noticing the deeper you get into into rashashana, the more this this yantive this day is is so deep and hidden that it's every time you think you what it's about you you realize you got to go this way then you got to go this way. I was yesterday I was looking over his stuff like what what's where how should we go into this today? So hashem done something that I I I really wanted to do but I have to give a little bit of a dama for this. So [sighs] last week a big sadic passed away at a very young age of 61 and it's a sadic that at a very crucial time in life I was very close to and that's the biala it's very shocking to the system um the rebi who was this biali was in gat sha and for those of you that were learning with us the women sharim came on from from the bialer rebi from Lugano from Switzerland that's his uncle that was his uncle his brother was the rebi in Benbra and then yushalim and then he had a bunch of he has a bunch of sons there's still a balb and benbra should have a long life and then we and then the berba from gacha I thought I changed it I'm going to try again I'm sorry it >> is better >> better yeah Okay, this rebi would come to Los Angeles when I was remember he would stay by the rabbin and um it was at a time in life where very young was I think I must have been 19 or 20 he was and he was like fin we're learning all these reb stories and and then a rebi shows up to LA and it was a real he was very young he was maybe 35. But his hanagot, everything about him was like and I was privileged to mashamish him a little bit and to be his translator quite often, people that would come in. But I spent a lot of sudot with him, a lot of late nights with him. And in and then when I moved back here, I would go to him for shabas and I would go and spend time in his in his base midash and it was very very special. It was a very special time. I remember that my code of letting him know that I came to see him would be I would I would knock on the door and then I would start whistling [whistles] or or I would or I would do or I would just sing the beginning because he loved this La. [singing] >> It was a very special special period in life. >> Very very It was very very special. The bales and last name Rabinovich comes all the way from the Yiddesh of their direct descendants from a rich rich dynasty. And the Rebi over the last 10 15 years suffered tremendously. lost his wife, lost a daughter in a tragic bus accident that took place on Highway One if you remember and Rahmanas last year his son Misha who I remember as a little kid who was married he just didn't wake up and he buried his son he he went through crazy terrorist and the last time I tried to see him was one of the Shivas and he was sleeping I didn't want to bother so I haven't I didn't see him in many But I was thinking about him a lot obviously since hearing that he he had gotten ill. He had gotten sick very fast and he passed away in in Manhattan. He was in New York at the time and he came here and they brought him to be buried last week here in Shalim. So a lot of memories are popping up and one of the memories was that he had given me he they just put out a safer of his abba back then back in the day the reb he wrote like the most beautiful for me inside and I've been with the safer I I pull it out over the years but I have this to go into the to learn a piece from the cafer that he gave me of Torah about his father and what his father with the line in baler how they approach this awesome time that we're in right now. So all the words we're saying today should be leish >> but it's actually based on a a the learning we're going to do is based on like a a hard story for me that's taken me like 25 years to finally crack the code. You know when the sadic says something to you and it's doesn't and you don't understand it. It's very easy to get insulted. Uh I don't know if you've ever got insulted by a sadic. It's a it's a bigus [gasps] one chabas [clears throat] before I had a car. I must have been 22 and I tramped from Ephrat I was learning here in yeshiva to give cha for shabis para's bow. How do I remember his para's bow? because I went to the Reb for Shabas Paras B and I took a friend of mine and the Reb asked everyone to say a Vort at the Shabas table at the tish and my friend who was a little bit well let's just say he was uh he was like a self-dispensory before there were dispensaries if you anyone knows what I'm talking about so he he [laughter] came to he came to the he came to the tish I'm like she didn't wait for basam from say shabas he was ready right so the rebba asked everyone to say I'm like oh don't ask him don't ask him to say a I don't know what he's going to say I'm so embarrassed so the rebba said no so the guy says he remembered a voice he when he was like eight shal which is true that there are seven of the 10 makos are in par and then there's three Right. I'm like, "Oh my god, are you kidding? This is like and they're like, "Oh, give the gal." Like they would always say that and he made him feel so special. So nice. But earlier in that, that's how I remember it was pious. But earlier when I got to Shaw, when I got there, uh, I must have I didn't realize that my my my shoes must have gotten real schmutz from the from the tramping in the dirt. And my Shabas shoes were covered in uh in dirt. And I hadn't seen the Rebi in in a while. It was my first time, I think, spending Shabas there after spending a lot of time with him in LA. And um the Reb came up to me and he said and I was so hurt. I was so I'm saying like I'm so hurt. I wanted to say like I wanted to say if you're you know like like a like from if you're a real rabbi you you'd know that I I I traveled here alone. I don't you know I I took trips to get here and my my my sho my I didn't notice my shoes must have gotten dirty >> and um I didn't say anything but it was it bothered me and I'm sharing this with you for a reason because I believe very much that the words of we never know when we need to hear them means to shine your shoes to clean your shoes right and here Here we are rashashana that comes out on chabas right after he died and I'm thinking to myself am I shining my where I'm am I locked in am I you know from being locked in am I shining the place that I'm choosing to lock myself in shabas shabash and I would just say like when you don't understand something that sadic tells you I'm telling you from from from from personal you know from pleishon is that hold on to the words you never know when when you need them exactly because what I want us to feel is that we are really we're we're choosing to really shine the place that we're choosing to enter in into this shabas shabas to everyone and obviously the that we have even before going into is hem What should I be dabbing about? What should be my prayers? What should I focus on? So a lot of people say you know in rash what do you do davin forem it's a very big word. So let's try to understand today what really of the of the what really is the that should be in the heart of hearts throughout Shana which is called one long day 48 hours which is really like one day and we're going to see here something beautiful from the Reb's father that I I believe will bring in Shamim a lot of Isra so here we could pass these pages around and I'll show you exactly on the page um where to look at this is from the from the if you could pass those pages around something very simple today I guess I have all these all these memories before we go in here I'll tell you one more memory I just remembered right now [clears throat] I was once with him for Shabuis in Los Angeles and at the tish ish and we started singing. He did he did something I never saw before. He had a towel that was for his right that he needed it for for this like to clear his face. But I sat right next to him and I saw that every time he pretended to use it to cover his face. He was saying he was saying some very deep cabalistic unifications that were going on behind the towel and then pretended he was covering that he and every time we got to the height of a really high and he did it again like to be around this stuff my young age really had a a very strong impression on me. Okay. So you see on the right column on the in the bottom of the right column do you see? Yeah. You with me? mind. Okay. So this is what his father said. Okay. So he gave us an instruction over here. What should be the dvening? It should be only for one thing. The dvening of rash should just be for the hashem. And we allude to this quite often. I mean there's we say it quite clearly in the we link us to this thing of that there should be but if I asked each and every one of you what does shama mean I don't know I think everyone would have their own interpretation of what that means and we don't have time right now to go around in the everyone should answer but kov shamim is a very you know that's our personal illustration like our our deayon of what does that look like? What's a world of kov shamim? Is there do you feel like there is in the world and uh not just here in Ephra and not just here in Israel but in the whole world the way you reign throughout the whole world is by means of your of your honor being clear in the whole So the Reb is and we're going to figure out soon where he's going to give us a hint as to how do we relate to that in a personal level because it's very intimidating very intimidating for a to walks into he says okay the taught that you have to dive in for one thing and one thing only and you're sitting there like I don't know what that means but okay and then you get a little bit lost through what the pimas of rashashana is all out especially since obviously if it's such an if it's such an awesome moment of the beginning of everything you're going to want to have personal things in youras and that doesn't make you a bad person either how do we link the two how does it make sense and even a push you know like us simple yen that should be That should be really our megama, our purpose and our kavana with the dvening onashing for if you go into and you have that list of your personal needs, your materialistic personal needs even I would say even maybe even my own spiritual needs but it's about me. So the zor says if that's how you go into so you're liking to a dog right have means give give right give give me life give me money I I was created in this world to do to to do hashem's will that's why I was created in this world And rash we say remember the world was created a few days ago rightash is the day that man and were created it's the day I come into the world again and it's it's the beginning day of your actions the purpose of why you created everything in the world it can't be Hashem that everything that what you created in the world is for materialistic purposes. So it must be that if you form that God's kingdom shall be reigning in the world. He says so beautifully Then Hashem will give us an abundance of blessings and success that all of our the desires of our heart hearts will be filled for good. And then he says over here a very important line. There's nothing lacking in the house of the king. If there was one I would say write, put on a piece of paper and put it in your it would be and I want you to talk about this. What does it mean that there's nothing lacking in the house of the king? What do you think that means? Who has an idea? Who has an a thought? >> Can do anything. >> Hashem can do anything. >> Okay. What else? >> Doesn't need anything. >> Hashem doesn't need anything. Maybe it's even like >> my life is exactly the way Hashem wants it right now. Like I might think I need more money and I might think I need this, but like this is exactly like everything is perfect. [clears throat] >> Everything that I need to be a Ben or exists right now in front of me that's very what else? By the way, Alex, that's that's one of the hardest things for a person to really feel in this world. That's one of the hardest things in the world because somehow when we speak about spiritual growth and development we we don't know how to we don't know how to make that with that line you know with also growth it's like I have to grow I have to do better I have to do chu es especially you say the word chuva and then how does that with that well it really stems by saying everything that you need in order to do to grow and to do chuva you already have everything you need in order to do what you want to do. that mean a lot of people are and you know live in a world of well uh I want other things too you know I don't just want things that get me to do those things I want a bunch of things right I want and I I've never you know rarely have I met people that really said I'm good I don't need any more money like rarely do you meet people like that people that are poor people that are rich everyone or uh that's and careers or we're We're driven. We're we're this creature. We're driven. We're we're driven for the sh is what are we driven for? So when we say the words, there's a lot of different interpretations for that. There's nothing lacking in the house of the king. So I this everything you said is bless you. Very very accurate. Bless you can also mean as follows. >> [sighs] >> I have to make sure that the bait the bite of the melik a I have access to it and b that it's guarded and c that people know about it. If it's if nothing is lacking in the house of the king the question is what shas do I have to bet? Well, for 30 days already we've been saying give me the to be able to actually sit in this base. I I want to have sh to this. So there's one thing of just saying there's nothing lacking in the house of the king as a proclamation. But then the question is and do you really mean what you said for 30 days and that that's where you want to hang out? Like that's where you want your headquarters to be in the place where nothing is lacking. So what are we basically saying over here on Rajash when I'm saying what the when the is saying every Jew has to d about one thing and one thing only shim that doesn't just mean that that the co of hashem should be revealed in the world it means and that I should have some kind of a shyness to it I should have some kind of a relevance to it should be sh to my life it should be sh to me Now obviously most of us grew up in modern America in an era where our parents really you know did the more than the best that they could some better some worse. Even the ballet chuva that are in the room parents did whatever they they knew you know whatever they knew. But we grew up with a lot of you know with the idealism that it's by the you know con it's not by we're well that's they know what that's about and I have to tell you I spent a lot of time amongst a lot of them over the summer in upstate New York and they're waiting for the gillu of Israel of what I'm telling you I'm telling you I believe in this with all my heart and soul They don't realize this but they are waiting for the revelation of Gilui Malashem that comes out of the headquarters of Bashem that comes out of Israel. So where is Beta Malik? Where's the headquarters of Betamelik? What's the gimachi of Rashashana? Ba Mdash is gimmd. So when we're really really really dening whether we want to admit it or not and the dvening is filled like this is that we are dvening for the B mikdash and rash bet. Where is bet? What is betame on the most like literal term? What's betame? Beta mikdash beta mikdash. We have to understand that when the bid will stand again will be revealed everywhere in the world. The cover of Hashem will be the most revealed thing. It'll be the most tangible thing clearer to us than the fact that there's water in here in this cup. The Bdash standing where it should be will be the fills all air. It fills all of the whole existence. So when we start the new year rat mdash if you pay close attention to the it's all about it's all about mdash it's all about the redemption all the you think that's possible within a world without mdash in a world without the mikdash doesn't exist doesn't exist. So our belief is that when the will be standing, it'll be revealed to all there won't be a sense of lacking. There won't be a sense of of things that are missing. We won't feel like we're missing anything in our lives. And yet we'll still be driven, which is only in a redemptive state of mind can you live like that. In our world, you're driven when something's lacking on any level. In a redemptive state of being, you're still driven, but not because something's lacking. It's just cuz remember that I don't know. I'm talking about 80s culture. I just Oh my god, I'm so proud of myself. I forgot [laughter] the song I was about to sing. Oh no, no, now I remembered. Now I'm not actually not going to not going to say it. [laughter] >> No, >> you want to know other things, you know. >> Hala [laughter] hala. But now the question is like this. Let's be even more real as much as Hashem enables us to be. Can you imagine really going to shashana with no personal feelas? Come on. >> Even though we're not supposed to d for ourselves. >> Even though you're not supposed to ding for yourself, can anyone here really say I learned that from the only thing I'm supposed to be dabbing for is and you know what? This year I'm not going to mention anybody else, any of my needs, my children's names. And it doesn't make, let's be real, it's not I mean, maybe you know people that are like that. I don't know anyone that's like that besides maybe the real huge big sadiki maybe. I don't know. But it doesn't make sense to me either because even they get they get you know what a is, right? It's a u I send I send every single year for years to my Rebi that I have someone I do it in handwriting and then I take a picture of it or email it or however it was and someone goes to my Rebi every year before starts with a of not not bakash but indiv you know my name my parents' names my siblings my children come on and since we have the kila the shul and he's standing there with that piece of paper under his m all of dinging and that's individualized right that but all are like that good [clears throat] will who could say that they're not going to dav in any individual prayers on rashash shana meaning bakashot pratot right I'm not just saying about individual people but even specific bakashot you're not going to throw one in there during like an au volcano but wait a second that's even stranger in Navinu volcano. It's filled over there with personal bakashot. >> So which one is it? Personal bakashot means personal requests. Who which one is it? Is it or is it also personal requests? Which one is it? So open your hearts. This is Thank God there's this next piece here. was asked, "Are you supposed to be dinging for I just want to We're not in Russia yet, so it's no. I want to bless everyone with a vote that I heard from Rabbi Shipple." He said, "Parnasa is for Ashirus is for I want us all to be filthy rich this year." [laughter] >> Amen. >> Okay. I'm wondering is >> right loaded. I want you all to call me by kissv and say I don't even know what to do with all the with all the micer that I you know with the 20% I have to give all of us >> why not you know always tells me a line it's so medyak where he says I'm not I'm not blocking the abundance. That's my thing. I'm not blocking abundance [snorts] abundance of good of riches, whatever. I'm not blocking it. So the Reb was asked, "Oh my, so if you're supposed to be ding for so you're supposed to be ding for on the one hand, we just learned that we shouldn't be ding for those things." Why? Like we just learned from the Zohar. Then when you're dinging for youros, for your needs, Have you're like the barking dogs have in Aramaic means give right that's why there's a say a lot of love the root is have right I want to give that's what love is but here it's been give me give me that's what it's that that's the reference over here so on the one hand the z says I'm sound like a dog when I'm asking for my own things but on the other And the say no no no someone you do have to dive in for your own needs. So the said like this he says really the again like we learned before the really has to be I just want to say not a tangent but this is very important. You know why we learn so much Torah here about Kula and you know Yamot Mashiach and all those things is that we actually have an illustration in our mind of what we're davening for and that gula and mashiach is not an abstract theme concept like it is unfortunately for most people. I I I know last year was hard for some of the why why are we learning all these you know let's learn about you know I don't know things that are more shak than now I don't know what's more shak now than that I just don't know unless everyone's cool with the way things are going yeah kids are fine everything's clear it's fine for them to live in a world with sirens and you know so when we so the rebba says again The is to be ding over and the majority of the dvening really should be on this. But he lets us in over here and he helps us understand ourselves our human nature that is davening for personal requests. But there are places in the that specifically speak about money about parasa like we have this in what's how does it go there? Does it get clearer than that? Oh, wait a second. I don't want to sound like a dog. But wait a second. But but it shows up in the also in we have it a few times. Those are that seems to contradict what the Zora says. So the Reb says when you say those things make sure your is in a really good place. How do you do that? Wondrous. How do how do you do that? What did the Reb say over here? When you're ding for a lot [clears throat] of but that the parnasa should be for. So what does that mean? It's not that with every shekel you'll send my way this year that I'm going to give it to and give it away. No, I could be very very rich but with every amount of riches that I have the [clears throat] hakara of that it comes from you and what the money is used for and the awareness with which I use the money should be a kovacham awareness. a kovacham awareness. It's funny over the summer I guess when you're in the states so your algorithm changes according to location probably. So there was a I saw we should all have these there was a mish I saw a video of this that somewhere in this state in New York said he thinks that it's a formid to only buy Teslas that are self-driven. You know the self they don't have it here in America it's a big thing >> keep learning >> because they can't justify >> if you can be self-driven you can't justify the bulman >> of of uh no I'm say like I'm not this is not purim it wasn't AI either mamash it was this >> you know me neither I don't know [laughter] okay I'll explain $200 >> [snorts] >> Okay. There's the big thing now in America that they they they haven't authorized it here, but this that the self-driven cars, [snorts] right? Like it really is like this. Like my brother told me one of his musicians friends after a gig, he's so exhausted, he basically puts in his address and he, you know, was hanging out behind sitting in this. He wasn't driving and he woke up in his driveway after the gig. It's real. >> I I saw it. Yeah. I could I would never be able to do it personally. >> Never. I would never. >> Lack of control. >> I don't know. I think initi [laughter] >> it would never work here. It would never work here. >> Would be curled up in a corner. >> 100%. [laughter] Right. >> Right. >> But if you put it in the in the context of the in the There you go. >> I mean the it's unbelievable. [laughter] It's beautiful. You know it's beautiful. >> Put it there for a reason >> like the back of the wagon. >> But to but to get to the to to what this is all about is he's saying of course you have darn but why do you want to have what you have? So y has to check in with themselves saying why do I want to have what I have or why do I want to have what I want to have sorry >> you don't have >> what I don't have yet >> yet why why why why do I want it right why this is even uh whatever this goes back to tangents we've had in the past why do I want to make aliyah because it's the right thing or it's because it's kav shamay because it's uh the zionist call of the 21st century or because actually My presence in the in in the land of my dreams of my father's mother's dreams is marbecim in the world and is my being here am I am I really bringing out kavayim in the world or not so that's what he's saying is the kavana when you're ding for these personal things of like yeah yeah you know write in that book of because when I have Yeshua because I'll have all the money I need for anything I need and more. Do you know with what head I'm going to learn? Do you know with what kind of cup I'm going to dive in? Do you know how many people I'm going to help? Do you know how much I'll be able to be more patient with my kid? >> That's Shamay. And if I'm really asking for parasa like that, that's the highest way to daven for parasa that I will be able to hopefully have more homes where there's problems with parnasa. Shambias is always problematic. Kimat always it makes sense because when you're on spilkas all the time and you're wondering how am I going to you're trying to cover up and take care of things. It's normal. It's it's it's human nature for that to be the problem 100%. So it's not not not like a dog. That's not the dog. It's really the prayers of for the co of your name. One time I was sitting with someone struggling with horrible sha problems. Started crying. And the person said, "I don't I don't get it. Hashem knows what kind of [laughter] what kind of player he has on his team. God knows what I'm like when I have peace in the home. I don't get it. God knows what I'm like. God knows how much I represent him in such a beautiful honorable way." So if that's how we're asking the gateway for the for these things on on rash that really falls under the category of the reb is saying look and he actually really says this like now that I could actually dive in and learn and that I can my children from a place of that really means come. [snorts] That's what means doesn't mean wiser my is wider. It means really entering a state of calm and but you have to remember it's not so It's not so I can get the self-driven Tesla meaning to well I I don't know now because according to that RV it is that actually falls under I don't know I don't want to get into this stuff this time I'm I'm embarrassed I even said it but ding for those things for the extra bucks or for anything that has to do with toot in the world of parasa can you dive in for a lot of money and that it really isn't about you. Yes, for sham that there should be shamim for my for my bank account. Can you believe that? Yes. It's not the way we're our our minds are trained but it really is because on the other hand tell us that the more you have is properties the more worries you have. No one told you you have to become a real estate tycoon with the money you're getting. That's what means I got that house there. I got that house there. I got that house there. We're not saying you have to buy a bunch of properties with this money. Unless you're really cool with buying all these properties to open up little and houses all over the world. Maybe that that and there are people like that. But for us, just trying to get by. And we know it could always be a little bit easier, you know, a little bit easier. How does it go? >> What's the needs of your nation, your people? There are a lot. There's a lot of them. So, this for me, I don't know. This helps me get my head on for shash big time because to be able to walk into sh and say I am only dvening this year for shamim. It kind of puts me in a very uncomfortable place when I come to certain places in the in the davening. But it comes to a com an uncomfortable place in my in my honest state of awareness of where I'm at in life. And I have needs. I do. I have needs. Please, please, may may I be may I merit to be able to ask for the most gashi things in the world. That should be the before rash. We still have a few minutes, not to get anyone to I'm shocked. Honestly, I'm shocked anyone came this morning. I'm really there's so much to do and bunch of cooking and I I can't believe anyone even came. It just shows like Hashem, we're really kishing to not just get through the We want the to get through us. >> We really want the Huh. >> He said don't miss it. [laughter] >> Still, wow. Yeah. Everyone's like that with me. I say something and it just [laughter] it just happens. So I want to bless you all with a proper hana to go into the dvening and to also realize that many of you are mothers, little children. Whatever youap is precious. Whatever youap is precious. Um in our family like share it's very emotional for me. I I wrote this last night to the shul that the there's a reason why the Torah uses the word chua, >> right? Trua is is the only name of Rashashana, right? you're connecting because it's of says the lubliner of the lash of the friendships that's how the lubliner touches it. My family, my mother could attest to this, became best friends with a family we never met during the amim because of because of someone that kept on noticing that my father kept on turning his head to see if my mother came to shing back I think 40 >> 42 >> two years ago 84 85 [snorts] 84 >> yeah 84 >> my father kept on turning his head in the show in Los Angeles and some guy noticed that the cousin was seemed bothered and he found out that this person found out that my uh that what was bothering my father is that my mother didn't didn't didn't come to sh. So we lived about a mile from the sh walking and this yid walked to our house and it the truth is is that the right the the uh the city did not show up >> and he watched over my uh I was probably I was probably still at home also. I was four I was in sh I was four years old. >> Who was staying at the >> Oh Beverly Oh sorry Beverly Grant. We weren't living. >> Sorry. We weren't living there yet. He went to the place my family was staying so that my mother could could could dav and be in show a little bit. We didn't know these people. There are they are my they're they're like family. We we've become every sim everything. They're they're they're the closest to us soul people. You know, it's a time of real of friendships. But I'm telling you if you're able to help someone a few minutes of davening just you never know what that what that what that would produce you don't we we don't realize these things that's kamayim as well that's also kamayim it's not just a nice story that's kavim when god had in mind when he created humanity human beings you don't think that was part of the dream the fulfillment of of god's vision of why I'm bringing more than just one person in the world that there should be multiple more than one person you know. So whatever you could, however you could help someone, whatever it is like this is everything should feel like it falls under and we should be we should be blessed to be written everyone.