Rav Kook: Midot Haraya - Ahavat Yisrael | Rabbi Aaron Goldscheider | October 22nd 2025

Great to have everybody with us as uh we continue our learning together. Let me just begin by announcing the sponsor of the Shir the Eloish from Ben Schlommo. Okay. So we uh we are studying we are studying the uh a great work of RVuk the midotaya which are the uh the character traits and what I would call a muser work a work in which we are thinking about our conduct our behavior our midote our character and learning from RV cook and the goal of the class is to learn the ideas but also to uh to bring them into our lives as well and uh we've been looking at the very first section but this is a standalone class. Um we looked at the opening section is about aavat about love and Rook speaks about love of Hashem and um what we're going to look at today is the top topic of Israel the love of our fellow Jew which is such an important topic in general and very important in the thought of Rifk Cook and in the life of Rifuk. I do want to begin with uh just the following few words about a uh a great loss that we had in the U community which many of you are familiar with and that is Rabbi Mosha Zra. He was the executive vice president of the orthodox union. He passed away suddenly uh once the the funeral was here in Shallayim on Arab Shabas his past Arab Shabas and um they're still sitting Shiva. the family of sitting shiva. Uh he was quite a remarkable person, a great khakam and I've listened to a number of theum eulogies and I was there at the funeral in here in New Shalim and listening uh the funeral in Baltimore and there were spedim that were given here in Shalim at the U center, the U in New York. Um, and one of the major themes that everybody spoke about regarding his personality was this idea of Israel, the love that he had for Jews and the love that he had for all Jews. And this is going to be a major theme of of our learning today and a major theme in the teaching of Rafkuk. uh when I went to the funeral on Friday. So I uh I I had the SC of taking Rabbi Winreb, Rabbi Shin Winereb who was the executive director, the uh ex um executive vice president, sorry, of the of the Orthodox Union many years ago. They had a very close relationship. They were both rabbis in Baltimore. And um during the uh that ride, the trip to the cemetery. So he told me the following story that Rabbi Hower, he was a rabbi in Baltimore. They were both rabbis in Baltimore. And when Rabbin was assassinated here in Israel at that time, so there was a major gathering that was to take place in a conservative synagogue and uh in you know in a tribute to uh to Rabin and also to your eulogies and whatever may be. Um, and there was a whole question at that time, you know, the Baltimore, I'm not sure if anybody here is familiar with the Baltimore community, but there is a very strong influence of nerl of the the yeshiva community. And for the most part, they were not really supportive of getting together of a gathering in a conservative synagogue. Really a whole question of entering a conservative synagogue. And so, uh, Rabbi Har was a rabbi at the time. He was a a Talmud. He was a student of of uh the narr you know yeshiva and one of considered to be one of the great students. The position of the yeshiva really was not to attend and really not to take part in that event. And Rabbi Howard at that time had to make a decision if he was going to be a part of it. And his decision was that he was going to be at that event. And he felt even though it was in a conservative synagogue, but for the sake of aus and for the sake of community that we need to be together and that the Orthodox community needs to be there as well. And even what we might call the black hat community needs to take part. And that was not an easy decision for him, but that and Rabbi Wanreb mentioned that and that was uh very much emblematic of of his life and of his life work, especially as he entered the leadership of the OU, how important it was for him to bring the Jewish comm community together and to see the and to see every Jew as a as a Jew and to see the sanctity in every Jew. And uh so I I think that's a a beautiful way to lead into our learning this morning which is uh one of the themes of Rivk Cook and the teachings of Rivk Cook. And let's begin with the following. I want to begin [clears throat] and you can look at page one with the following PUK. And I think this is a good place to start when we speak about loving others and seeing the best in others. It's a puk that's found in Paradikra. And essentially when you first read the puk, it seems to be a puk that's referring to a court and talking about judges that when a judge is doing a when he's uh in judgment of a court case, he should not be he should not do. He should not do something that's sinful, something that's unethical. You shouldn't give a preference to somebody who is poor. And you also shouldn't give preference to somebody who is a gadul, somebody who might be wealthy, somebody who's influential in the community. So it seems to be that there's a reference to a judge and how a judge is to um judge a case. But ama with righteousness you shall give judgment when it comes to your people. That is the that's the in the Torah. Rashi says the following. Rashi says you have that right the source right in the middle at the very top Rashi says well it's it's as it sounds in other words that when it comes to judging a case make sure that you're judging it ethically that you're not favoring any side that's what it means but then Rashi offers another interpretation so here this is a phrase that I think many of us are familiar with and familiar with it from pureos. Here the language of Rashi is and what does that mean? That you should give the benefit of the doubt when you're judging somebody else. And here Rashi says that this puk is not only referring to a court case. It's not only referring to judges. That's one way of reading the puk. But Rashi says this applies to every single person to every individual. when it comes to judging somebody else, let's judge in a um in an openhearted way. Let's judge where we give the benefit of the doubt to somebody else. I open with that because I think that's interesting to see that in a puk and to see that as a mitzvah of the Torah that I think we generally think about this idea is like as as a nice thing to do or going beyond the letter of the law to judge somebody favorably. But according to Rashi, that's the meaning of this. In other words, this is this is basic. This is foundational that when it comes whenever we're judging somebody else, right? Make sure that you're looking with a with a good eye that you're judging in a favorable way. So that's I think that's an important place to start to see that not as you're not being at sadic when you're doing that or satis you're doing the right thing. You're doing that which is obligated by the Torah. And we'll come back to that puk in uh in a few moments. So now I want to enter the writings of Ravkuk. This is again this is the work that we're going to be looking at over the year. It's a safer called Midotaya. And in the safer Rook has 18 different sections where he talks about 18 different midot different character traits. And as I said a few moments ago as we're studying this the idea is not only that we're studying it as theory but we want to study it as practice as well. like how to bring this idea of loving others and and judging favorably to others. How to bring that into our daily life. So this is from Midotaraya. It's number three right in the middle of the page. The section ava and this is what Ravkuk writes. It's actually it's the it's the ninth piece of this section. And again the theme here is Ravk speaking about the way that we think about others, the way we judge others and how to do that in a positive way. Somebody who is a lowly or a sinful personto he says is appropriate to hate that person. But again actually I've translated that wrong. Not to hate the person only to hate the fault or the lacking in that personal but the very essence of the person has the image of God within them. You should appreciate that person with a great amount of love. So we have to somehow make that bifurcation. In other words, there is what to hate and but that we have to identify that precisely what it is that is to be hated, to be disliked. But the person himself right or herself that person of the needs to be appreciated and to be loved and continues that you need to know that the preciousness of the true essence of that person the true essence of that person is goodness right that's the essence of that person is really goodness and you should see those other faults as secondary and he writes the following al and here he quotes a very interesting uh source from the Garra from the Talmud alatar if you need to rip apart an amarat somebody who is ignorant in other words if you want to find fault if you want to highlight the fault in that person okay you have to do it you have to do it the way that one opens up a fish that's what the he's quoting a gamarra that to open up the fish from the outer side but not from the literally the face or the inner part of the fishb there you will find the light of the in other words when we see and what is he referring to he's referring to the idea that what those actions are external and we should see them as external to the person what we need to appreciate is the essence of the person the potential of the person and that's the salamelo that's found in every individual. Okay. So that is RV cook's statement. Yes, please. >> I'm I'm very legalistic about this. Yeah. Opening the fish from the back because that's where the spine is. Yeah. >> And you want to remove the bone so that you can enjoy the meat. >> Okay. Nice. Yeah. Very nice. Very nice. Very nice. Please. >> Some people let me know or is it like does that go for everybody? Like I'm I have sir in my mind. >> Right. Right. I Right. >> I Yeah. No, I I think it's I I think No, you make a good point. Um I would say that this is this is the general approach to people to Jews to people we know to people in general. And then there are more extreme examples, right? extreme examples of what would fall into like a category of amalic where we don't necessarily have you know this approach where there's pure evil and that evil has has been cancerous it spread through the body and that's that becomes the very essence so that may that is an exception I would say that RF cook would agree that that is an exception but those those are those are the outliers we're talking about in general the way that we we see one another the way that we see our fellow Jew the way that we see reformed Jew a conservative vative Jew as we mentioned Rabbi Har the idea of entering a conservative synagogue right to see the salin to see the goodness and we can we can disagree on certain points we can remove okay that's this the mushel of the dog okay so you have this outer part that's the external we can talk about that there might be real differences there but we also need to appreciate what it is that we share in common and to see that cell within every individual okay and again as you as you point out There may be and I think there are exceptions to this rule. Um, Rufuk writes the following just to kind of expand and to elucidate this idea. Um, and we'll see the bottom source right now on page one. This is a very interesting book which is called Hassanigoria the Mishna Rkook an author by the name Rabati. He has a whole seafer an entire book that's all about what Sanora means a defender that Rafuk is the defender of Amis Israel and we have this idea from Rebeard he was also known as the Sanora that he defended almost like in a court case who's going to take the defense of of the Jewish people. So this is a book what >> like >> like Moshenu right beautiful like Mosherenu does take me out of this book I don't want to be a part of it if you're not going to forgive the Jewish people beautiful so that's RV cook also and this book is all about all the different sources and different places and different viewpoints where Ruf cook is taking that position that we need to always defend the Jewish interesting it just comes to mind that in one of the cases the eulogies and I heard it from two different in two different eulogies that Rabbi Har when somebody said something negative about a certain group he said we do not do that we do not please stop do not say anything negative about that group within the Jewish people I don't want to hear negative words interesting and that's uh and and Rkook is very much a believer in that so let's look at the following the f this following idea from Ravkuk and the way that we are to see every Jew and the way that we are to appreciate says RV that there really two aspects that are found within every Jewish soul, every Jewish person. And let's just read a a few lines from if we look deeply into this topic, we will see the following. There are two items, right? There are two parts that builds the holiness of every Jewish person. And the connection that every Jew has with God. So how is it that every Jew is connected with God? There are two ways who sigula. The first is that there's an aspect in every Jew what's called sigula. Now what does sigula mean? Literally the word and I always like to translate it the way I heard from Salvich similar to the English word sigula. Singular has basically the same letters that there's something singular that's found within every Jew. No matter what that Jew does, no matter how that Jew behaves, no matter how the Jew acts, there's something singular within every Jewish we have within us something unique, something special that has been handed down that's part of our what we might call our spiritual DNA that goes back to the forefathers. the fact that we are descendants of Arab all of us have a unique DNA and that's true also of a convert who enters Judaism as well that they also are uh they're gifted with that special DNA and there's as the verse says in the Torah God doesn't choose us based on our righteousness that says Hashem has chosen you because You are descendants of the forefathers. You are unique from all the nations of the world. There is within us a holiness within our soul of every single Jew. Hashem has will that within every Jew that there is unique holiness. That's what it means to be part of the Jewish people that we have. Every single Jew has that sigula aspect has a unique holiness that's found in our nama like everything that's created in this world. We've been created our people and that were descendants of the forefathers and the mothers that we have that unique aspect of our soul. There's no way of changing that. By the way, if a Jew says they want to convert to another religion, is there conversion outside? Can a Jew ever leave Judaism? The alfa is no. You can never leave. There's no there's no way out. Sorry. There is no way out of being Jewish. If you say you're Christian, if you're Muslim, according to Allah, you are not. You are a Jew. There's no way of ever removing that. Why is that? Because of this because of this sigula aspect that it's part of your very essence. There's no way of changing it. Okay, that's one aspect of every Jew. And when you see your fellow G, you need to see that sigula aspect in every Jew. Now what's the other aspect that makes up every Jew or the second one who that's based on the choice based on the behavior and conduct of a Jew that's based on a person's observance if they're keeping mitzvah they're keeping Torah. So those are two ways of looking at a Jew. Your holiness is based on a singular holiness a tea a natural holiness that you're born with. But then there's also holiness based on your actions, based on your observance, based on the Torah that you learn, the mitzvah that you observe. Now, here's the interesting point. Which one is more central? Which one is more defining of a Jew? What would you say? Now, often we think the other, what's the first thing we say about another Jew? Is he shamber shabas? Does he wear titsis? Does he wear a kipah? Right? Does he does he keep the mitzvah? Like that's that's the way that we often often judge. Hopefully that's not what we do, but we we do a bit I know I we do a bit of that. That's the way we kind of like, well, who is this person? Who is this Jew? Right. Is that a shammer shabas? Is that you know, do they wear a kipa? Do they >> It's like internal and external. >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. But what is >> Exactly. So what is it? But what is most defining? What's the Right. So most defining is the DNA. That's correct. So this is what Rafuk write shall Here's the key line. And you can underline this this aspect of a Jew. The aspect that we have the natural what is what is the very essence that we are created with that we are descendants of who is so much more. There's no way of even measuring it. It's so much more central. It's so much more defining than the other. Now, both are important and we do need to kind of make the assessment and that's also what it means to define our own uh our own observance and our own allegiance and devotion to mitzvot. But when we look at another Jew says cook, we need to be aware of both ideas. And if we put more emphasis on the sigula aspect, then we're going to love that person more. We're going to feel an affinity. We're going to feel a closeness to that person because we're all sharing that nama together. We're all sharing the fact that we're descendants of yakov. Yes, please. >> Like a pint every year. >> Exactly right. Exactly right. This becomes a very important part of that pint to see that by the way, but not only to to see it and to judge it. You have the pint and you have mitzvot and but says the pint that aspect is so much more, right? his sigula aspect, the essence that you were a descendant of Abraov and to see that and by the way this is what led Rufuk to live a life where he was dedicated to to to bringing to bringing the uh the kalutim right the pioneers to bring them back and and that we have to be closer with them and in this way we can have greater unity if we see another Jew in this light the problem is we're judging and often this is true in the Jewish community we're judging the other aspects look at the distance that we have between us and you don't do this and you don't do that and you believe that and we believe this and we can't really you know how can we really come together but when we see the other as really being the the central point the most important in terms of the way that we're uh the way that we judge one another so now we can we can find a common common ground and to appreciate the other yes please >> I think the reason the is because the is in the yates there's a y to y so in bur you've always got the stroke with the tendency do the wrong thing where when it's something that you bought with there's no struggle built in whereas in the other case struggle. >> Yes. Yes. I agree. Very good. >> Uh yeah, please a pastor came to the cartel and somebody said to my Jewish he said no but my mother is [laughter] a beautiful story. my next door neighbor for whatever reason left orthodoxy and one shabas I went over and I gave him two candles. I said shabbat shalom and I left. The next week I came I said did you like the candles? He said yes. I gave him another two candles. Since then he started wearing a hat and [laughter] here we go. Reach out to somebody and >> absolutely absolutely right. Absolutely. that the more we and and Rafuk is is teaching us that the more that we see that sigula aspect of how much we have in common and also how much holiness there is in that other person. Okay, they may not be doing this, may not be doing that, they believe this but the sigula is shining right that aspect that they are descendants of they have that singular nishama and we share that nishama together. So that is uh that that's going to bring us closer. Um we can look now to page two and RV cook you know one of the interesting things about RV cook and and sometimes there's criticism around the writings of RV cook that he often does not quote sources he writes a lot without like traditionally rabbis would always quote their sources doesn't do that in his writings it it's rare that he's writing he's just writing and writing without sources and one reason for that is uh some have pointed out that he's really not basing it on a single source there is there's so many sources and everything that he knows and he's bringing all that together and he doesn't want to limit it to a source because if you go to that one source and you see it well it's not really that source it's that and the Zohar and that midrash and that sikda and all of that is is why Ruf cook is writing the following okay but that's but here Ruff Cook does write does source something and to me that was I found that interesting I wanted to see the source so Rook quotes from a safer which you may not be familiar with it's not that wellknown called Yod visura Shoda. It was written by Alexander Ziskin Mehorodna. This is in the 1700s. He died 1794. And it's a book about mitzvot. It's a book about the spiritual the spirituality and the meaning of mitzvot. Um interesting. Art scroll just translated this book a few years ago. So obviously they they thought it was uh worthy of a translation. Um very interesting safer and he quotes Ravk quotes from the Sea and it's in a letter of Ravk. If you look at the very top number one in a letter in he writes the following happy is the person or praiseworthy is the person when a person purifies their nishadvah with the holiness of the mitzvah of now what mitzvah is that referring to that's what we started with this morning what mitzvah is referring to he says how beautiful it is when a person purifies their life in such a way that they have mastered the mitzvah of what what mitzvah is that of judging others. That's right. that when you see another person that you're not judging harshly that you're judging positively that when that and we're so often we make that judgment are already making why did he do this and why is he dressing this way and why did she say so the mitzvah is to see positivity and to see the other person in a positive light and cook says how beautiful that is when we do that when we bring that into our life and then he says and he quotes from this book from the safer where he speaks about the importance of this mitzvah. So here is just a a few lines from the uh from the safer shod and it's just in the if you want to follow along with me where it's where it's in bold just two lines down he says that you should know the this is now reading from the safer jabod you should know the following and he's means the person who is living a life and pursuing a life of righteousness A person cannot attain this high and it is a high level by the way. It's not an easy thing to do to always see the other person to see your neighbor to see your family to see your relatives always in a positive light always seeing them in positivity. So not easy to do that. There are two mitzvah that you always have to be aware of in order to fulfill and to attain this level. We have a mitzvah that says you should love your fellow person as yourself which means that you should extend that love and that understanding the way that you would want that for yourself that you should do it for somebody else. And we all know said this is one of the foundational principles of the Torah. And the se this second mitzvah is actually connected or related to this mitzvah. Judging others favorably kadosh Marlo. Both of these mitzvah are found in which para para gadoshim. What is para gadoshim? How to become a kadosh? How to become a holy person? How do you become a holy person? And here's the of the we often think of the as a separate mitzvah. He says it's really an extension of what does it mean to love another person? I mean, how do you define that? How does that play out? What does it mean to love another person? So, one way that that plays out, loving another person means that you give the benefit of the doubt to the other person. Now there's this mitzvah of is really an extension. It's really part of what it means to love somebody else. You know, if your uh if your child or maybe a good example, your grandchild broke your uh a vase in your living room. So, how would you react? >> It's just a >> it's okay, right? [laughter] I don't know if somebody else walked in your house and did that, you wouldn't necessarily be that forgiving. But for somebody that you love, right, then you're going to be done the cafkus. Then you're going to find a way to be forgiving. You're going to find a way to look the other way. So that's not only true of a grandchild or a child that breaks the vase. That's supposed to be true of every Jew and every person here. We're particularly we're focusing on Israel. The way that we love our fellow Jew, the way that we love our fellow Jew is to is to give that benefit of the doubt, to see the best, to be forgiving. And that's these two mitzvah says the safer shod really go hand in hand. They're really part of one mitzvah. What does it mean to love? To love is always to see is to give that benefit of the doubt. Sometimes it means looking the other way. Sometime just means see again seeing that the positivity even though there's you know there's there's that negative part to see but I'm going to choose to see to see the good and highlight the good in that other person. And by the way, I know from person my personal life, I love being around people that are positive. I think we all know that, right? Just have positive things to say. And you look great today and that's a great outfit. And that's not, you know, it's just it's nice and it's actually a mitzvah. It becomes a mitzvah. That's part of this love and and and extending a good word and lifting up the other person. And you could easily be that person and say why are you wearing that and why did you or why this or why that or to be the person of yes anyway >> yes beautiful favorably grants us mercy in his eyes >> absolutely very nice is also right is is merciful and looks the other way that he lifts lifts our our our sin okay let's go to page We're going to come back. Yeah, please. Yes. >> Difficult question maybe, but >> Yeah, please. >> Is this also right if you don't really mean it? >> I think so. If you don't really mean it. I mean, that's the uh that's the the uh idea. You don't Okay, you don't mean it, but you have to train yourself. Maybe it's a way of training yourself and hopefully you'll you'll get there with your will mean it. But this is the kind of thing that even if you don't mean it, it's it's it's good. If you don't really mean to give sedaka to somebody else with all the right kavana, does it work? >> If I give a $100 and I'm, you know, but I but I don't really have the most sincere, does the person receive the $100? They receive it, they get the sedaka. So yeah, ideally kavana is good, but in cases like this when you're accomplishing something, so it's uh yeah, it's a good idea just to accomplish it even if all all the kavana is not necessarily there. Yes. >> And these these are uh leads to mitzvah. Correct. Yes. >> So that's also because we always view the the mitzvah as negative. You can't you can't you can't you can't. This is a positive mitzvah even in um identification. It's a positive mitzvah positivity. >> Very nice. A positive mitzvah that's all about positivity. Absolutely. >> Absolutely. Okay. Let's go to page three. We'll come back to that that source um in just a few uh a few minutes. And this is one of my uh one of my favorite one of my favorite uh teachings of Rufk a favorite a favorite uh you know just a short avort so to speak of RV cook and by the way we can ask the question well how do we do this you know it was saying like how do we get to the point and what are the some of the things that we can do in order to um in order to appreciate others and to be more loving to be more caring and to be positive towards others. I think this uh this idea is could be very helpful. This is a gamarra that's found in the gumar of braos of Zion. Uh there's a whole discussion that's going on there in terms of uh of mariv of the evening service and if it's an obligation or not obligation and at some point the rabbis turn to one another and they say well all the rabbis are not here in the base mish yet let's wait for all the rabbis to come and we'll continue this conversation. That's the that's what's that's the background of the Gumarra. And the Gumarra uses the following term page three very top it says Hen let's wait a ku let's wait until all the rabbis come in but they're called the ballet treason. Let's wait until the ballet tre that they enter the base medish. Right? So the very good so ballet treason now that's the term that the gamar uses for the rabbis for the sages for those that are going to argue this for in the base medish. Let's wait until the ballet trees enter. What does balet trees? How does it translate literally? Valet treason. Balet mean the masters of tim. Now what are tim? I don't see them here but we all know what tim shades right? It means um a shield or it means a guard. The ballet trees. So Rafuk says something very beautiful here. Rafuk says how did the rabbis argue in the Bish? They argued in such a way that they were just guarding. They were shielding their position. When they argued with one another, they weren't there to bring down the other or to attack the other. Now that's a very important point when it comes to how we discuss or how we argue a point with one another. Do we argue a point that we're defending our position or do we argue that it kind of leaves that place and we're we're belittling the other and belittling the other person and that's there's a very very important distinction there so says I just want to read the last few lines here from this piece this is from aaya he writes the following shagam the last if you wanted to see the words of last word in the line four lines up zulato the opinion of the other person who delay right that other person who's arguing the point this is true in a base man by the way this is true also at a shabas table or getting together with people and people are arguing a point and there are different positions and if cook says you know what the other position has validity as well and it comes from a holy place he's referring specifically here maybe in this in this in the base mish but it may be true again in any discussion or argument we may have about politics or whatever it may be that people sincerely authentically believe in this position. I believe in this position and we argue that point that's the Torah. There are 70 different facets of the Torah. There are different ways of looking at life. We all come from different backgrounds. We're different people. There are different ways of looking at things. And to appreciate that he says that they argued in such a way that they were just guarding their position. The rabbis were not out to belittle the other to bring down the other they were just to mean they held on to their shield. And that's how we need when we discuss with others and when we argue with others it has to be that it has to be okay we we we are uh we're defending our position that's the tric right I'm shielding my position that I can do but never that I go on the offensive right not that I'm not that I'm taking out the sword right you shield but not that you're taking out the sword and trying to take down the other trying to diminish the other so that's a very beautiful very beautiful way of of understanding the word balison And here I found something which is very very interesting. You know I think about RV cook and and the influences of RV cook. One of the great influence is the nitiv of he was his rebi when he studied as a young man. The nitiv wrote a famous workdar which is one of the classic works in the Torah. And I came across the following the following puk with the interpretation of the nitiv. And this is where in the Torah of Brati, we're going to come to this in a few weeks, where Abraham and Sarah are arguing. They are arguing. What were they arguing? They're arguing what to do about their son, Yeshel. What do we do? Right? What do we do about this son? Does he stay home? Do we find another place for him? It's not really appropriate that he's around. He's a bad influence in the home. And they don't agree on the matter. Husband and wife, we sometimes disagree with one another. So says Hashem ultimately has to step in. Maybe we need that once in a while. We don't really have that today. But Hashem to tell us what to do. Hashem steps in and this is a famous line and says whatever Sarah tells you Abraham listen to her. Listen to what Sarah has to say. And this becomes an important lesson for husbands, right? Whenever there's an argument, listen to what the wife is saying. But here I want to just point out this really a beautiful insight. So this is the of he writes why doesn't say why does the not say shah to her voice. What's now? There's another ping that and also in when Sarah and Aram are speaking it says lola. Here it says bola. What's beh? >> It could be with >> in her. Good. It's more okay. It could be with or in her voice. Now look at look at what what the writes the it doesn't say in the P listen to her voice. That means just listen to what she has to say. Those you don't agree just listen to her. That's actually we and he and he quotes another verse where it says okay what does mean the meaning is you should be you should try to be very careful and you should um you should analyze you should look closely at what she's saying according to what is Hashem telling Abraham, not just listen to her, right? Be quiet already. Just listen to your wife. That's not the way to read the PK. The PK is I want you to listen more carefully and to think about what she is saying. I want you to analyze. I want you to see her side of this as well. Now, you may still disagree at the end and I'm telling you, listen to Sarah. But what you need to do is take a step back or maybe a step forward. We say like lean in, right? maybe to lean in a little bit and to listen more and to be more um to to to analyze more closely her position to be open to what she is saying. But really a fascinating way of reading this pip not but and this becomes I think a very important point in thinking about arguments or disagreement with other Jews with our with uh you know with with family with friends whatever it may be that the nitiv and rakuk is teaching us. So we need first of all that we're only shielding. It's never about taking down the other and the importance of also listening to the other side. And I'll just mention this it's become like a a little bit of a to some degree for how listening to all the espedim but I heard again and again and actually I'll just one story. This is Nathan Diamond actually a friend of mine from high school. He's worked the last 30 years for the U. He oversees the office in Washington, all the political affairs of uh of the OU, which they there's a lot in that area of meeting with senators and congressmen and the president so on and the first meeting that they had together, Nathan Diamond and Rabbi Hower. So they met with one another for the very first time again the head of the OU with uh with Nathan Diamond who's overseeing the office in Washington. And Nathan Diamond, he writes this in a he wrote an article uh eulogy. He said, "All the other leaders that I met with when they came in of the OU and other leaders, they come in and they tell me what their agenda is." Other words, that's how we begin a meeting here. In other words, the the one who's leading the the organization is telling the uh in this case, Nathan Diamond, telling him what it is that we believe and what you need to do. Rabbi Howard sat down and he said, "You tell me what I need to learn. tell me the books that I need to read like how to understand what it is that you do. That was the first thing that said to him. He did not it wasn't his agenda. He wasn't telling this fellow Nathan Diamond what it is that he would like but rather I'm here to learn and I'm here. I am open and I want to hear what you have to say. So this is exactly what the nativ is saying here as well. And even this argument, Hashem is telling Ara, what I want you to do is shama, listen, listen another time, right? Listen more carefully to what she's saying to her side of the argument. You may not agree at the end, right? You may still disagree, but I want you to try to appreciate her position. And then, okay, whatever whatever decision needs to be made, we need to make that. But with a little bit more understanding. Okay. Yes, please. I always that meant that you should do what she said. >> Do it. What's that? >> Well, no, that Yeah. No, it mean it does mean that do what she said. But then is pointing out there's more to >> be attentive, but do what she said. >> Okay. No. Yes. >> Yes. I mean, ultim That's what I said. Ultimately, you're going to have to listen to Sara. That's what God steps in and says her decision is going to be the right decision. But there's a big difference between just saying, "Okay, I got to listen to you and that's got, you know, and just walk away and slam the door. Okay, I'm going to, you know, that's your side. That's my side." Or to say, "Okay, let me let me try to let me try to appreciate your position. Let me try to appreciate your side. I may disagree and I may fully disagree, but let me try to see a little bit more of your side." And that's that again just that one letter the difference between bol and lola to hear a little bit God is saying take another moment or two to hear it and uh how important that is and what a difference that can make even when we disagree. Yes Rosen >> last week sometimes in order to be a you have to be >> okay with you have to listen to her. Yes. Yes. Again, but there's there's a there's a there's a difference between um listening and and um and just agreeing with that other person because you're kind of forced into agreeing and a sense of understanding the other side even again even where you may not be on the same fully on the same page. Yes. >> I think Leola is external. Lola is to >> exactly right to integrate. >> Very nice. Very nice. Well said. Well said. Integrate to try to integrate to try to appreciate more deeply appreciate her position. And again, as I said, doesn't necessarily mean you agree. Doesn't mean you're going to agree fully, but to appreciate the other side. And that's a there's a big difference here. Yes. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> That's right. That's right. Means that you are that you're just protecting your position, right? means you're you are protecting your position. The other is that you're going on the offensive and we have to be very careful that when we sit down with others and again I keep Rabbi Howard comes to mind because in so much of what they spoke about is when he sat down with others that he was open to hearing the other side. It does not mean that you agree. There was a a eulogy that was written by the head of the reform movement and his name is Rick Jacob. Rick Jacobs or Jacob. and he re and the the headline is I lost my kavuta referring to Rabbi Hower. They never really learned together but they spoke a lot together and again this is an orthodox rabbi from Ner Israel and the openness that he had to see the other side and to hear the other side to appreciate the sigula aspect the holiness of that person. We can disagree. And he writes in this article, Rick Jacob, you can look it up. Um, I we disagreed on just about everything. A reformed rabbi and this Orthodox, we disagreed on just about everything. >> Well, gain, >> but we my gain means that I shield my position inside >> that. Well, in does it means I have my position, right? I have mine, but I'm not going on the offense. It's not to try to tear you down. That's the tag. That's the other side. And that's again there's a that's there's such an important nuance difference between what it means to argue in a way that you begin to attack the other which again we're you know we we we fall into that uh you know we we we fall into that trap at times. You have to be very very careful that when you're arguing a point that it's never it never be that it should never become personal right never become personal. So that's uh very very important. Okay. Yes please. Every time I read this question, I've always focused on the word. Yeah. Schma means to take to heart. Listen with your heart. Yeah. Yeah. Is take to heart. Yeah. >> And I'm understanding is that don't just >> think about the situation. Not just he's your son and you don't want to [clears throat] throw your son out, but think about the whole thing in depth from many different perspectives. Okay? >> And and I know that he's not my son. And I'm not speaking because he's not my son, he's your son. But rather there's a real essence here going on here. The essence and that's what is all about. Get inside of it. >> Good. Not from the outside. >> Very nice. Very nice. All right. Two last points. We'll just we'll finish in the next uh next three minutes. Two points. One is I think about RV cook when I think about the life of Rkook. The idea of Abat Israel is is first and foremost in his in his life and his teachings. how important it was for himself and how important it was to impart this idea to to the Jewish people. He was one of the gdole Torah, one of the greatest minds and the greatest spiritual personalities of the last hundred years. Um there's another great spiritual personality of the last hundred years. Again, there's a handful of the the giants if we just you know think about the last hundred years and one of them is lababachi. I think everybody here would agree in the Jewish world would agree that we think about giants spiritual giants spiritual uh rabbitic figure rabbitic figures who had a tremendous impact and one of the most important teachings of lababachbi is avatel is also that's what he's that's what he's training all of his to do go to Alaska go to Spain go to Montana go everywhere in the world open up shop and love Jews and love every Jew no matter matter if they're keeping Shabas, they're not keeping Shabas, they have this sigula. They have a soul that is that's an A from Yakov soul that you need to invite in. And if you put a pair of fillin on them, that soul is going to light up. And if you can convince a woman to light candles Friday night, their soul is going to light up because that soul is already a soul. That's sigula. That's a singular soul. So that's uh just interesting. two great personalities that are emphasizing this point, how important this point is about the Israel. I have just uh the last page is a new book that just came out came out called Engaging the Essence a year or two ago uh by Yose Bronstein. If you're interested in the philosophy of labrebi this is one of the the greatest uh a great book, one of the greatest books. The name of the book, it's on the last page. It's called Engaging the Essence, the Torah philosophy of the Babachbi by Rabbi Yose Bronstein. And okay now we come to the last the last point that I want to make and here Rafuk says one other important point when it comes to Israel. So for generations after generations from the time of Afram until today Israel is so central so important to Jewish life and the way we need to think about others and community. But Rafuk is going to add one more point and that is that we come when we're coming back to the land of Israel. And again for auk it's always Israel becomes such an important part of his philosophy. How much more important it is for us to have aus how important it is for have for us to haveat is let me just read one line from this is on page two we skipped this earlier I just want to come back to this page two and this is from a work called the fatim it's in Hebrew and in English I'm just going to read one sentence you can look at in the Hebrew or the English whatever you like. Oh, Israel, those that love Jews truthfully in a real way. And he's speaking to all of us that we need to increase our love for every Jewem and Jews that have a yearning that are waiting for the salvation of the Jewish people for redemption for Msiah. And those Jews that want to build this land of Israel, build a nation here in the land of Israel, they're always looking for kindness, to be more kind, that there should be more kindness towards every Jew. And here's that word again to be to see even for the sinners to see the best in every individual, even those quote unquote who are the sinners. And why is it so important? Because we're building a nation. You know what a Israel is important. It is if everybody's kind of living in their own place in the four corners of the world. All right. I'm in this sh here. I'm living in Hong Kong. I'm in Australia. Abad Israel. It's important. Very, very important. But how about when we're all living in the same house together? [laughter] >> When we're living in the same house, it's harder also. That's right. It's easier when this group is in Australia, this group is in Hong Kong, and this one's in LA, and this one's in New York. But now we're all sharing the same house. So, first of all, maybe it's a little bit harder. I think that's a good point. But it's so much more important that we have a because we're living together. We're building a family together. We're building a nation. We can't just we can't just close the door and and pretend that they're not there. We all need to work together. So, Rafuk says, "Avak Israel becomes that much more important now that we're in the land of Israel. We need to see the sigula. We need to see the goodness in everyone. We need to highlight how great the soldiers are. We need to highlight how great those that are learning. We need to highlight those are are bringing this economy to a worldclass economy. We need to see the best in everyone and the contributions that they're making and to build everybody up and the sigula to see this the the the singularity the holiness that's found in every single Jew. Yes. >> I think there's such a fine line between the and that makes it difficult because very often you feel that you're just protecting. Yeah. >> And going on the offensive in order to guard. So that's a >> Okay. It it is a fine line. It is a fine line. It there there it is a fine line. I mean it doesn't mean that we can never say you know a negative word. We can never be critical. It can't possibly mean that. The question is always how it's said and if it's said in a loving way and if it's said in a way that we see the goodness and the potential in the other. That's the that's the essence. That's the main point. That's what Rev Cook is teaching us. I just want to end with the following. Just one quick and one last word about Hower. Again, this is very much, you know, in the air in the uh in the OU community and uh we really been um uh really been uh I would say a little bit of trauma in a feeling of trauma of losing such a such a critical um and important leader and very very special person. So, I'll just end with the following. The other one one other point uh that they spoke about for Rabbi Hower, by the way, you'll see on the there's pictures of Rabbi Howard and a little bit about his life in the uh the Torah tidbits that was just printed uh today or early this morning. Um he was a great lover of the land of Israel, of the land of Israel. U he was putting a lot of effort into the Jewish community here. And he didn't live he did not live here. He lived in Baltimore. He was a rabbi in Baltimore for about 30 years. And the last five and a half years he was working with the OU heading heading up the U. He was still living in Baltimore at the time. And he was a rabbi of a show in Baltimore, very beloved. And here brings us to the story. So every year on Simplas Torah, they would give Rabbi Hower the Katan Torah, the the last aliyah. And some shuls have that custom that the rabbi of the shul receives the last aliyah of the Torah. So every year he received that aliyah, the kasan Torah. And again this was told in a couple of the the eulogim that every year he'd be called after the aliyah in that last aliyah is the story of Moshe and Moshe was also his name Moshe of Moshe and the pig in the Torah was how Moshe came to the mountaintop and God said to Moshe you can only see the land of Israel from a distance that you cannot enter you will not enter the land of Israel and whenever they read that puk um Rabbi Haru would begin to cry And they they would everyone would see that he would break down when when that placard was read that Mosher Rabenu can only see erit Israel from a distance and will not enter the land of Israel. And he was crying because of the love and the longing for the land of Israel. He always spoke about the importance of coming to Israel also also in one of the and I'll end with this um parad which will be next Shabas. So he always got up year in and year out and he would turn to the congregation. Says this morning we're reading about Leaf Aram going to the land of Israel and he would turn to everyone and said you are sinning and you are sinning and you are sinning and I am sinning that we are here in Baltimore that we're here in and that we're not in the land of Israel. And he loved the land of Israel. long for the land of Israel and um and Rafuk says this aus how important it is especially as we're coming back to the land of Israel we should be all of us should be z to it but it's the work that we need to do as well the constant work to judge others favor favorably to see the best in others and uh to bring a real aatel a real love and uh a bonding of Israel here in Israel let me just stop here because I'm over time but I'm happy to take happy to take questions Yes.