Rav Gav Friedman Know Your Values! Project Inspire Convention 2023

so listen up here we go this is all if you do not everyone here not American just you're not let me say differently you have not lived in America the last couple years yeah but why'd you move here do you know the money works here yeah like money doesn't work here and I got to I want to thank our president all right listen up to the poem here we go says Rabbi Silverstein my dad gave me it's called smart this poem my dad do you remember did you remember his sister school oh my dad gave me a one dollar bill because I'm his smartest son and I traded it for two shiny quarters because two is more than one and then I took the quarters and traded them to Lou for three dimes I guess he didn't know that three is more than two those are unfamiliar that means he had made less money just now okay so I'm there for you my friend just then Along Came all blind baits and just because he can't see he gave me four nickels for my three dimes and four is more than three and I took the Nico the Nickels to Hiram Combs down at the seed feed store and the fool gave me five pennies for them and five is more than four and I went home and I showed my dad and he got red in the cheeks and he closed his eyes and shook his head too proud of me to speak okay if you could please describe using an adjective just subscribe come on down right over here if you could just describe an adjective to describe this uh this kid dumb foolish doesn't understand the currency immature Clueless more is better than less okay there's one there's one question that you guys should ask me what when that's not a question come on there's one question you should ask how old is he is it amazing that all of you came to adjectives without asking just to understand the story a little bit how old is he so I may tell you that the kid is two years old what would you say now what do you say would you call them would you call them dumb no it's just uninformed they're mature immature is correct but the way he said it now is different than he said before because immature as just a word is correct immature is a immature is not correct all right so we got to say what have I told you is 25 now we have some other words to say right however if the kid is two years old then he made a very intelligent choice because what do we teach children young children we teach them something known as quantity we don't teach them quality now eventually we get the quality but then they don't really understand that so we teach them one two three four five once I caught a fish that's that's what we teach them which is number two is more than one three and one two four more three family et cetera but we don't go only to teach them the concept of the the value of something that maybe as maybe you saw the title of the class one can be more than five one can be more than five now as we get older as we get older we hopefully get more clarity as we get older we get more and more mature and we're able to then make proper decisions based off the information that we have but when the kid makes this decision it's a very intelligent choice and it's amazing to see the way the kids make decisions I have a son who I asked a couple years ago they said to him we were sitting outside on a swing together it was a very fatherly Sunday moment soon as I was sitting there I said something come on sit down I see your pops they said why as I sit down it's five years old at the time and I said to him tell me what would you rather have food or money so he said okay it's like a really silly question and I loved that he said that because then I was gonna now I wasn't sure which way was I being silly so which one would you rather food or money so he said to me what kind of silly question of course food because without food you die what are you going to do with money says the intelligent five-year-old so that we're just talking about getting to other people's places another time but he's five so yes I said okay what would you rather have water or food I mean I'm sorry or or money you guys are you love money yeah right water or money so what does he say money no I'm kidding you're right water because of that water you die what am I gonna do with money buy it thank you but he doesn't know that right until we go a little further I say what would you rather have money or paper so he says I understand like why are you wasting my life here of course paper because with paper you can color what are you going to do with money they gotta understand I have a four-year-old now this is when my son he's older than five but when he was five I have a four-year-old who came to me the other day like maybe two I remember maybe three weeks ago he comes over like Patty I'm like what he goes I you have to give me a lot of money I said oh why do I have to give you a lot of money is it because he's still a mayor his older brother he has a lot of money so you have to give me a lot of money I'm like you saw how much money do you have he's like I have like 14 shekel he was like so happy he's like 14 Jack out and he's like you have to give me a lot of money I said oh okay well I hear you what do you do with the money and he's like you could see in his brain you know something happening but there was nothing there because there was nothing to grab onto because he doesn't know what money does so he's just like error error error you could see it happening you know and he's like he's like um I'm like what do you do the money he goes I don't know but I need a lot of it I said oh you sound like your mother okay can we edit that please I'm saying how do we thank you so much right but what is that let me know what it is and you look at the decision-making process and you think like oh what a silly choice that someone would make what a silly decision somebody's making I I believe that most people don't make silly choices I think the most people it's another class I don't think people really make choices all together but but let's talk about the ones that do make choices I believe that people try to more or less make somewhat Intelligent Decisions until Joy says it's just perhaps we're missing something over here there's something that's missing for those who are learning accounting you probably have heard of something known as a CBA what is that could be it's not accounting I made it up but uh you're like I'm an accountant I've ever heard of my life hi what are you talking about well I don't want to hire you that's for sure right this is called a cost benefit analysis well look at that the paramedic on it right cost benefit analysis story make him live let him die I'm not sure that's gonna be is it good for society cost benefit analysis every day we are always constantly making decisions and we're making cost benefit in LSi the fact that you're in this room right now you made a cost-benefit analysis and that is What's it gonna cost me what am I going to benefit coming here is going to cost me time it's going to cost you time you're spending time over here and it's going to cost you you're gonna have to you're losing out you're losing something so you say it's not called a loss okay fine but but the point is that there is an actual loss of something you're not getting something else there's other classes going on here right now you're not at those classes so you're thinking sorry any times anyway for doing it so it's like a shout out you know what I'm saying no matter that come on fellas but the point is is it's called the cost benefit you're losing out the fact that you came here right now there's a loss but there's also a tremendous benefit tremendous benefit question is which one is worth it and I usually get the answer when somebody walks out but if you didn't walk out yet that means that you felt that the cost is worth the benefit when you wake up in the morning and you open your eyes you make a decision to get out of bed or not to get out of bed there's a cost benefit analysis now instead of the thought that you wake up you're like well let's see the pros okay what three over two all right I guess I'll do it all right the answer is maybe it's not like that and if it is like that that's interesting and uh you know yeah but usually it's a very quick just like you know you just work it out very quickly and you wake up and you have to go to school so getting out of bed is going to cost you what's it going to cost you sleep it's gonna cause you sleep relaxation energy what are you going to gain going to school correct nothing so therefore you go back to sleep or What's it gonna get me it's gonna get me knowledge okay so then it's worth it for me What's it gonna get me well it's gonna cost me if I stay here I'm gonna get yelled about my parents or about my spouse or by both if they all live together and therefore what's going to be is worth it for me to go rather than to say right instead so it's always a cost benefit analysis I don't believe that anyone is not making a cost benefit analysis the the problem that comes in the mistake the the area where there's a problem is when we don't understand what the real cost is and we don't really appreciate what the value is right we don't know what the what what's the benefit what's the cost what's the benefit so for example it's very common to find you know let's do it this way if you if you do not you know what this is curious how this is gonna work in this room if you do not have an iPhone raise your hand whoa meant that's a ladder it's a little it's a lot it's a lot is that where are we half the room or no yeah sure versus injury that's fine yeah what did you oh you thought I mean like smartphone you identified a smartphone with an eye is the thing all right okay who here does have an iPhone just uh yeah it was a hands are like this by the way for that one who is like do you have a if you do not have one right here if you have one okay fine okay fine knife too it is what it is okay here's what it is those who have an iPhone and you act assuming you bought it you paid for the iPhone now it could be other phones also I'm just saying the iPhone if you paid for it without I mean okay if you're Jewish let's be real you didn't pay for it but if if you're that sucker who didn't you know get the rebate passing thing we're going with the ATT I think I want the Visa card right so if you you know then dance deals but if you if you actually paid for the phone let's say the phone cost you I don't know you got on sale so it's only fourteen hundred dollars okay so you might just have an iPhone I'm not going to do this right now but if you stop and you think you're through for a second the cost is let's say 1400 the benefit is what now you play it out and when I do this with people most people that I have the conversations with what they describe is the benefit is the same thing you could have with something which is not an iPhone now there's always one that no no because I want to sink it no no no fine so you relax and you're fine right but everyone else hey what happened hello you hear me oh my gosh so now when you go and you buy yourself this this phone you're paying a lot of money 1400 is a lot of money I mean I guess relative and some of you thinking well that's not so much money so I'd like to speak to you after but uh but you're paying yeah you know 1400 what are you getting for a person as well I want to be able to make a phone call okay then you can depend a lot less if that's what you wanted I would be able to send messages I wonder if they have email with them they have calendar I want to be able to have FaceTime okay now you're stuck because that's an Apple product but it was gonna say well you could use a WhatsApp thingamajigger who knows right that's a new product you could use many different things in order to get across the same thing why would you spend 1400 when you could spend 200 and the answer is advertising right they got you good right that's like most of us fall into that trap where you made a mistake you think you're getting a benefit when the reality is you paid a lot more than you're benefiting because you can get exactly the same things for a fraction of the price everybody saying that yes or no right okay now I want to argue I got it you work for Apple fine but anyway now so you stop and think through the idea how you doing over there right side tell me what I'm telling me you're ready because uh I know like is it no I'm saying for the for the shot I'm ready for the do I how do you want like I don't which which have we not done over the years like what did did we get this shot we didn't get this one can you get both feet can you this really hurts I can't do that so long anyway the point is in silence it's not that we don't make a cost benefit analysis is that we're not really thinking through what's the cost what's the benefit right what am I going to gain what am I going to lose and this is a mishna the mission of us Mr comes on it says when a person goes in I think it's in uh Bayes aleph right in the beginning of the second chapter when a person goes at rebe treby speaking rebby Omer listen to the start with Who as a rabbit comes on you he tells us if evaluate calculate have said Mitzvah what am I going to lose what am I what loss am I going to incur by doing a mitzvah now if you just came back from the YouTube Seminary particular Seminary be like Allah but it means to say there is a loss I can be a lot it's not working again now we go over we say the following do you hear this oh now you hear me all right no no you don't have to hear me you hear me we're talking okay all right so when a person goes and they do a Mitzvah when someone goes to do a Mitzvah it depends what the Mitzvah is what's the Mitzvah so let's say in particular person is going to go ahead and buy a pair to fill it I bet it's fill in cost about a hundred dollars on the black market but if a person wants a kosher bit felon then they can cost more than that I would take my minimum five hundred dollars it could be a thousand dollars it'd be two thousand you can get it for ten thousand if you have gold letters but then it's puzzle right so don't do that but the point is is that a person can spend a lot of money we're talking about on average somewhere between fifteen hundred two thousand dollars for a pair to fill in so now what am I losing by doing the Mitzvah when I go ahead and I do the midst of to fill in not to actually do it when I buy that's filling I'm losing two thousand dollars don't get all emotional it's not called a lot and we'll get there the point is is that I'm losing I do not have that money anymore what am I gaining I'm gaining nitrus I'm gaining all of my bar I'm gating I'm getting the greatest players you can imagine As We Know they get so much when a person goes so now let's weigh it out it's going to cost me x amount I'm going to gain which one is it worth it or not you get it that's called in One Direction with the other direction every mechanics and that is what scar am I gonna get by doing an Avera versus what am I going to lose star for doing an Avera no what that means is what kind of benefit will I incur by doing this Mitzvah verse says what am I going to lose the benefit is it's gonna taste gonna smell girl feel good yeah yeah and then we talk about what's going to be the loss a lot and fierno con Diablo but it's gonna be a painful experience or we're gonna lose out something afterwards so therefore it comes out to we constantly need to be evaluating and figuring out when we're making decisions in life what we're doing now here's the crazy thing the crazy thing is is that if a person doesn't have a value system if you don't work out your value system then the World's Gonna choose the value system for you we have to make we have to have a system and make a decision of what's called worth and what's called not worth it and if we're not able to go out and make that decision of what's going on over here then we're not going to be able to do something it's going to be taken from somewhere else so we understand from a Jewish perspective and return perspective we got to figure out what's the value what's the cost now what's what's amazing is is that it all comes down to like you said before it's a big word it's maturity a certain level of maturity a certain level of time it takes time for a person to get to a point where they can understand that there's it's worth it for me to do certain things the younger we are the less we understand simply because we haven't experienced enough and when you tell them that one is more than five it just doesn't register because we see one then two then three then four but a one hundred dollar bill is more than five one dollar bills and so on and so forth right so we go and say that one dollar is worth more than five pennies right so what comes out is that yes there is but they don't get it but that's fine because when we're little the ramifications are quite little right in other words so the guy lost out on 95 cents the problem though is when you start adding zeros and then it's 950 then 9 500 and so on and so forth and then start then things start to make a big difference and then as we go through our life we continue to live in a certain direction and we start to lose more and more it's not that we don't do cost benefit analysis it's just we don't think for a moment What's really the cost what's really the benefit and if we don't understand something called olamabad we understand these ideas which we might not understand but if we understood them then that would win every time and we would go ahead and move in that direction the problem is that we don't always understand it which is why it's so crucial that a person learn think work it out be intelligent when a person's young happens to work out nicely that we have a kind of a buffer zone in Yiddish kite we have a buffer zone from the time you're born you're not even mitzvos there's no intelligence there okay so then what has happened three years old right because the human started three years old correct the answer is inquiry oh I love wires thank you right so it doesn't go and say it's not keep this also keep this thing here yes keep it or this means keep it all right oh the show is like just stop right okay hello yes is that better thank you thank you so much thank you thank you you talked before you what happened all right so now now we go and we play this out where was I before the mic the baby so the baby we know until five wins is a baby one is a child start to become hive at age of mitzvos six is a nice nickel Torah but has nothing to do with the kid I mean not something to do with the kid but let me just say he's at six on the kid is on the parents maybe only on the father that's a discussion but the point is that we have something called oh yes Michael's here yeah so look like a good we never do good ones just like can we do it like action shots right okay so so now clinic is the idea that the child is not kind of until they're 12 years old for a girl or 13 for a boy suckers we get another year but the point is okay because we're a mature right but the point is when we get it on the 12 year the third year was why we give the kids a full decade to be able to process and learn this information and then we start to go and make certain decisions it's amazing so a kid doesn't understand they think they're short term it's very short-term thought it's very hard for a kid to understand long term they don't get it they don't understand that's why when you go and you promise your kids something if you say oh if you do this I'm going to give you some sort of treat I'm going to give you a reward you have to give it to them immediately if you give them immediately why because we don't give it to them then you just lied to them but they said no we're going to give it to you when tomorrow what is tomorrow tomorrow in the language of child is never No Such Thing Gotta Give it immediately and when you give them a treat a day later they're like what's this for well it's what you did yesterday what's yesterday you're saying there's no no frame of reference and the same thing is in terms of punishment you can't punish a kid the next day for something they did the day before they don't process that information it's got to be immediate over time we start to develop that further and further and further I don't know if anybody knows someone like this but you know goes ahead and you see like a kid who was a these kids that have the experience of either they never grow up and lives altogether or they have some sort of experience where they go off the Derek in some way and so now you know there's that one kid who was about to turn the light on Shabbos I bet to lean on it you're like careful the light terrible and they go oh what this yeah this oh no what's gonna happen I'm gonna go to get Hannah the answer is well yeah there's a yeah but what are they feeling they're feeling nothing happened to me nothing happened no the Abbott now how did that happen it's usually a process one of my kids accidentally turned the bumped into a light on Shabbos she froze she froze and I was like what happened you know it's like I was like okay like what you did on purpose she's like no no it was an accident I said okay what are you getting so nervous about it what are you guys on Earth so I said okay first of all you have to know just relax because sometimes there's like a lot of fear like this is just a fear you have to know it's okay like you did it by accident you're not you're not going to get hit him we do have to cut off your arm after Shabbos but it's not it's only one arm it's not balls you know you get to choose something I think reality like and we're just like stop it like you're right both arms how dare you know there's this fear and what happened but what happens then a person feels like oh nothing happened to me right nothing happened to me I'm not sure if I should tell the following story or such a story as you say well peer pressure all right here Leo this um I can't say it it's just I can't say it is that a letdown such a good story I could tell it off camera I can't tell on camera because I can't uh I could I'm saying just it won't end well for somebody maybe anyway so so the point is is that you go to you know you go to a kid who's like you know the kids make decisions and the decisions are made very quick very quick it was like right now what's happening and the kid doesn't understand don't do that it's bad for you so classic examples the kid says they want a brownie that works for teenagers for certain types and for a younger age I'm talking about a younger age right so kids three years old given the brownie to eat the brownie then they say I want another more give me more I want another brownie so okay you know your man a nice bro Hall here's another brownie here's more sugar all right so they go ahead and then they they eat a second one I want another battery no no it's not good it's not good for you and they say I want more I think you're going to get a stomach ache no I won't what's a stomach kick I don't know but I need a lot of money whether she don't even know what they're saying no to but they say I want more he says okay fine you know you give it now I want another one you're going to get a stomachache and then you say what does that mean your tummy you're this area the region you know tati's a big one mommy is a littler one like this thing over here you're gonna go ahead it's going to hurt you no it won't okay so then they and then what happens and you say oh no it's dumbing hers what happened and there's like no correlation like between these two things but then you start to make them for them and you say by the way it's because you eat those it's because you didn't say breakfast Cabana that's good meditation but when he goes you say it's because the fact that you you know you you brand it and then you explain to them maybe too many of them you're gonna end up God right in this this repercussions when do those repercussions happen the answer is it depends how many brownies you eat and how fast you eat them but let's keep playing it out you're not going to feel well you're going to probably throw up you're gonna have to use the bathroom you're gonna event you're gonna get fat you're gonna God forbid a person can then develop diabetes and a person can die but that's so far away right it's so far removed and it needs to be immediate to understand something so a person goes through the experience nothing happens to them and they say Oh I thought all along that by doing this there's going to be a repercaution it says that there was no repercaution and therefore there's no problem anymore without thinking for a moment just because you didn't get the ticket yet doesn't mean it's not coming in the mail see that a lot of people related to there right do you like to did a flash did it flash I don't know if it flashed I feel like there was a flash was there a Flash I'm not sure two weeks later there was a flash twice why do you even know about right so what happened though that ambulance guy you know exactly what I'm talking about right so so it goes ahead and be said like it comes later it comes eventually but you don't get that when you're little we can't process that as we get older we're meant to understand the fact that there's long term there's long term you have kids that go ahead and they they smoke okay maybe that's not a that's not cool anymore they Vape right so they go and they say like no I'm not nothing but cigarette in my body it's terrible I'll just put random chemicals and I'm not sure what they are like hot dogs you know so they're going to it's like I'll be fine really so you go watch it and they smoke out see nothing happened oh wow yeah that was a great experiment right there well nothing happened so then when they think why is it that they'll have a second one because nothing happened after the first one and in their mind it's very short term they don't understand value they only understand quantity it has to be something that's right away clear and evident it was not clear in evidence so then they don't understand it and then they start processing the information like that and then they get older and they continue to process the information like that having the wrong costs on the wrong benefit making a cost benefit analysis in an intelligent way based on bad information and then we live our life like that so what happens if a person goes out and they smoke and they smoke again they smoke again they smoke again these kids sometimes say you go and say like listen you stop smoking so what will happen it'll die fine I'll die I'm like okay Crystal just chill think about I just want to explain something to you there are some things that are marmalves I haven't had that passed away of lung cancer she smoked for many years I knew she quit smoking instead five years later but she smoked for many years and when she got lung cancer this wasn't something which is like a little bit she was I think out of exactly how many months four or five months when she was in excruciating pain unbearable pain because tumors were up and down her spine she wasn't able to get the the highest levels of morphine they can give was doing almost nothing it was just directly on the actual nerves themselves it could it can even function so you say I'll die even your your cost benefit analysis of death is off at that point people doubted that they should die in so much pain are you thinking through what you're doing are we paying attention and we got the flip is the pleasure the benefit what am I going to gain by doing it well I did admit that I didn't feel something right now like what's going on I didn't get it right now I don't feel like something right now it's like what's the point cost benefit analysis is not the issue the issue is making sure you have Clarity and what's the cost and what's the benefit now let's understand someday when you're talking with somebody who's coming from a background where they're not perhaps coming from an observant background a religious background and you try to explain to them something what do you think they're stupid they're not stupid they're just uninformed of certain value systems and if they understood the value system then perhaps they would have a different way of looking at it it's just they just don't get it similar to every one of us in certain areas we just don't get it proof in the pudding in the pudding and in the cake and the chocolate and the chocolate pudding and okay just watch tonight as we eat more and more and more and we I stressed we don't look at me watch what we do over there to understand that what we see is is that ultimately it's about getting Clarity in one of our values understanding the value system getting Clarity on It ultimately being able to then go and make proper decisions in life of what we should be doing not just getting used to and accepting certain things but rearranging and then going longer term short-term long-term short-term long term the older we get we understand that there's longer term things go more I could wait a little bit it's worth it for me this value in holding on on that because I have a system but if a person doesn't have that system then we're lost and what will happen they'll make a choice but that choice is going to be based off the value system that they have at whatever given time wherever they are so what does that mean that means we have to be learning things we have to be learning to be able to give over yourself we have to be able to say it in an articular fashion knowing what we're talking about how we can say what's the value what are we what are we doing over here and the more that we learn about it the more clarity we get the more clarity we get that our decisions start to change a little bit and then we get to the hard part and that's acting upon those new decisions when we're little we're a lot more open malleable pliable we're able to work with it in a way like Plato you get older it's like a rock it's just like very hard to impossible to Fashion gotta chisel away in order to do such a thing so clearly it makes sense to try to get this earlier than later you know the expression you can't teach an old dog new tricks so the good news is that we're not dogs which means we can learn new tricks the bad news is it is challenging it is difficult we have to be taking the steps to be getting there make sure we're investing time and energy and Clarity and understanding you know there was a a question a famous a well-known story somebody who came I I believe it was to be so salanter and as the results a lot he said I only have a half hour a day what do I learn do I learn Musser or do I learn gemara said to him you should learn Musser and then you'll realize that you have more time and then you could learn Gomorrah also how many of us are qualifying and quantifying and understanding what our value system is this is every level and they said this is not a discussion of a person who's about juva or person who as they call a fifib ffb or you know ffh from from habit or the otd after that you know wtio what time out whatever it may be this is the discussion to every person the most Ultra Orthodox to the least Ultra Orthodox I don't know if you say it from all courses spectrum and that is are we growing are we qualifying are we getting Clarity on where we are are we learning are we continuously and getting more and more sharper and sharper of understanding what's the cost what's the benefit the more we understand what it is the better choices we're going to make suggestion maybe you learn a little bit of muscle and by little I mean a lot but really I mean a little a little lot depends what you mean with your value system a little list but even five minutes a day 10 minutes a day the only Mr Brewer brings it down person should be learning Muslim every single day every day we're supposed to go out and be learning Musa are we sitting down are we taking the time to really learn something or what should I be learning as it is so many options I'm I'm a big fan I have a little shout out to a little shout out to Michelle a little shout out to me I didn't really have to write that down sorry written there put a little shout out about learning Clarity understand if Goldberg spoke about the Constitution right now what's the hope in your world and what steps I need to take in order to get there make sure that we're actually taking the steps so putting this into perspective because we're at a project inspiration so we throw it in to understand it's not that when a person goes ahead and they make a bad decision that it means necessarily that they're whatever adjective we use in the negative that they're stupid that they're dumb but simply it's uninformed and if I would have known then perhaps I would have made a different decision I just didn't know I didn't realize that this is something was so valuable and the most incredible thing about this and I probably shouldn't call out project Inspire on tape but is a yes the goal is to go ahead and to inspire you to inspire others but I found a lot that really we know the once again the most are hopefully us or at least we're gaining a lot we're getting a tremendous amount to gain ourselves our own clarity own excitement thrown past in our own Drive our own desire and when we look at other people and we have to go out there to maybe describe the value system that it starts to have an impact on us oh wait a minute I'm talking about this like it's so beautiful do I feel that way am I getting up in the morning you're running to go do something am I willing to go do the midst of or something it's an incredible concept but I'm not saying I'm not guilty of this I am but it's incredible concept that when it comes to the ability a person can do certain things sadaka someone goes in the ass to give the Sedaka the Comfort donation you just got off the phone talking with someone how like unfortunately whatever it there was no first class ticket so you had to fly private stat it's not that you wanted to fly private now some of you don't know what I mean you think I mean like alone somewhere in a room closed but others know exactly what I'm talking about this is It's always amazing to see the different levels are of what we're connected to if I say something there's gonna be something that pops into your mind like somebody said the word PJ PJ depending on your socioeconomic standing means different things what does it mean okay I got the CLI I got to see all of you with you okay so some say it means pajamas you know just I'm wearing my pajamas all they say is that peanut butter and jelly sandwich and others say I'm wearing my pajamas and eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich on my private jet what is the word PJ mean so what goes in people fly their entire families in some private jet to some Island that didn't exist they made the island they made the island in Dubai they made that little thing images they made another one Beyond it personally it's like a big sign I'm gonna do it or something like that and they go ahead and then someone comes knocking the door you know sadaka like you know 100 high dollar you know what I'm saying like you should know like I'll do this for everyone two times high and I'll say I'm Gonna Give You 36 dollars just spend 145 million dollars on the jet but you give eighteen dollars now the response said is well what do you want from me everybody's coming everybody's coming okay no problem let's do the math even if everybody came it still wouldn't cost the amount for that Private Island now it's just an example and I'm guilty of it also we'll be willing to throw out and going out and you know throw down like a hundred dollars here 200 there 500 there you know to eat something that like you know I was looking to get some some meat in there to sell whatever I want his own tastes like girlfriend America so like I don't know what the cows what they do differently there but the meat tastes different I don't know what it is like I think here they go move there they go um I'm not sure I'm not sure how it works I'm looking to buy like this and meat and uh I'm gonna ask the guy how much it cost to get this particular thing the other he's like yeah what does it matter it goes to the same sewage anyway I'm not going to details but the point is I think you spent so much time and money on something that like is for one second then you have something you have nitrus so evaluate cost benefit I'm sorry I'm not doing a fundraiser now I'm just at this point they got an example amazing how when a person will go ahead suck his time so my favorite things to watch come suck this time and we know MIT Stars part of Minnesota okay for those that are not familiar that means someone who is pained is exempt from going out into the sukkah so what does that mean so a person says well I I don't want to go there but I'm in pain I'm not going what does it mean there is a level of of someone who's considered a fool who goes into the sukkah if his boy is 150 degrees Celsius which you'll die by the way but there's 150 degrees Celsius there flies all over the place they say I love them you know it's a 30 degrees below zero it's 40 degrees below zero ask me Fahrenheit ourselves is Khalid said good it's the same say what else is just confused who who self is the answer is kelvin's cousin right but we go easy minus 40 degrees you go out in the sukkah okay it's a bit foolish but let's think that through for a second I I just forgive me I just don't know everyone's backgrounds or whatever I just know like you see people that are into sports not that'll go to a football game they'll sit outside through rain while it's snowing it's a hundred degrees outside there's lightning it's a flood there's a hurricane a tornado and an earthquake right on your seat and they stay out there wearing their coats with no coats on and it's no problem you go outside I don't know I really don't know Fahrenheit what's what's called like what's called like uh what's 65 is that hot is that cold it's it's comfortable it's okay is it so so they go when does it get called 60 I sound like an idiot but I I literally I've been in there since I'm 17 and before 17 I didn't know how to count uh Fahrenheits I know 100 degrees cold unless and that's I mean it's hot and less than that whatever so what is it 30 50. so let they drop so one degree below I'll tell you it was 60 it's 59 I think it's on putter cost benefit analysis what's a person going to gain by sitting in a sucker what's the person going to lose what are we going to gain what are we going to lose what are we going to gain what are we going to lose when it's something which is important to us all of a sudden the value system starts to shift a little bit did we get to shoot on time do we Dive In Los Angeles whatever it may be it's all cost benefit we're always evaluating so ultimately become Santa's working that through and now the question is how we then apply that to our fellow brothers and sisters that are all over the world that they themselves don't have this value system number one we have to get clarity on ourselves make sure we understand what's considered value what's the value I want to tell you something I I just I told the story to somebody to I don't know to some people early in the morning the second rat the second rap we wrapped till 2 30ish and there was another raft till three or something and then we left again until five we wrapped who's rapping it was rapping and uh and I'll tell you the following story this is crazy okay listen I'm not this is not just everybody relax calm down what I'm about to say it's gonna get crazy I was invited to speak somewhere right during like ask Corona was sort of ending ish and I I wasn't sure what to talk about so I asked people in this place like what what should I talk about I said still talk about anything like controversial so I said okay okay so I got up I said listen I was asked not to speak about anything controversial so I'm going to be speaking about vaccinations and Lace shatels is that that okay is that okay with everyone and I want to tell you a story I'm not past skinning I just wanna this is not a passack because it wouldn't mean that much anyway I mean but uh but I'll tell you the following is it outside you know some people are like face what is this I don't know the latest what are you talking about you zip it off you zip it down it's Assurance what is it do I dies I gave a sheer somewhere and it was a sheer to women and after this year my wife came to this year and afterwards she was talking with uh some of the women and I was doing the man stand you know the man stands like when you just do this you're like it's all the chairs outside like uh Children's Place and like whatever people go shopping with your wife and you sit down on the side doing nothing so I think it's payback for like being in the women's section that's what it is it's like get in the men's section all right sit down and I'm sitting there my wife's talking to these these two women and what looked like these two younger women turns out these two younger women are are the daughters of one of the women and something came up about lace shatels because that's what people talk about apparently at the time that they were talking about it and I'm saying that I'm looking and I'm always my man is always like thinking about like people always asking me do you have a shield for this British and for that person for these two people what about for that one and a half person do you ever see look for this and whatever it's not like I don't know I'm not you know I was just like looking oh is there like okay you know this nerd like maybe whatever I'm looking at these two young girls and then someone came with and the and the girls said the following yeah well you know ours our lady and I was like huh I I was like what first of all I don't know if guys can relate to this obviously we don't look ever I'm saying but I don't even notice it I don't know the difference between one the other but I certainly had no idea I thought these were two single girls was her or married girls whose hair is not covered turns out both of them are married and literally and I I couldn't stomach they go yeah well well our leadership I go what and they're like what like you guys are married and they're like yeah I'm like well there goes those two on you know what I'm saying that's what there's a suit of Crisis these girls keep getting married you know I don't know what to do with them and and I'm like you're wearing a shato and and one of the girls goes it's what it doesn't look like what and even my wife who I don't know women never like these superpowers like they can close their eyes and go Shadow you know so so even my wife's Eyes Are Open so she made a mistake and she goes that's a that's a shape that I thought also was your hair at the same time the mother and the daughter reacted the mother went like this yes and the dotted went like this it just came back from seminating after everybody said holy the mother was so excited my daughter is wearing a shade though that nobody can tell that she's married and the daughter was like oh eBay you mean you really can't tell I thought it just I thought like okay it looks better but I didn't think that you can't even tell what's the value system is a value system yes we were able to get around the mitzvah and I'm not saying it's what they're us they're good bad right wrong I'm just pointing out a value system what's the value system you're saying this is the question that we have over here so my phrase to put this all together and then just to wrap it up do a quick recap end off with one point and then make our way hopefully there'll be more food for us to eat it's just like it's the best joke you could say every time yeah because it's not a joke people cry anyway so we started up in the beginning in the beginning my dad gave me a one dollar book so I was wondering so what does it do over here take the Dollar Tree two quarters two quarters three down three down four nickel four nickel five pennies they said wow made that so proud of me and says why because he walked away with five instead of one you're full you just gave up one dollar for five pennies then we got a little bit to pick up chapter one it says it costs by the flounces what am I gonna lose what am I going to gain what am I gonna gain by doing the verify what am I going to lose and what happens over there obviously he's gonna wing out in this case is obviously always going to win out over there questions though do I have that very civilian events when the war's going to choose it for you sometimes five is less than one one can be more than five of course paper because then you can color right said to realize if they're always a little bit off in it silly how old was he two years old 25 years old when you're making these bad decisions only what's going on so you can do a Mitzvah you're gonna go run do something you're gonna pay for the money for do something you put a little bit more you're gonna do another stuck or buying a private Islander yes like Jason are they gonna turn everything light why nothing happened to me cause 10 there's a certain length over there it's length of time sometimes it's immediate sometimes it takes time as soon as the day the person goes and says something out of the group want to make this decision because that's because they're stupid but right because in fact they're lacking information the person get that information then it would change the entire way in which they would go ahead and works with thousands of religions you don't choose that the world's choosing it for you if you don't choose it well it's using it for you if it makes it because they are working on these Concepts and we're developing them we're learning Muslim we're developing ourselves getting more and more clarity about what is considered valuable what is the cost what is the benefit what am I going to gain what am I going to lose and sometimes it takes time and as we get older we realize it can take time so a person goes in the trash and they smoke and nothing happens them give it time if they'll God forbid something does happen and someone does the proper decision they go and they work out a little bit and then over time what happens they start to actually get more healthy get more fit why because it takes time you have to understand the view of the of of of the the maturity like we said let's say earlier or is it later and then we got the ultimate in terms of our brothers and our sisters yes I thought they're stupid it's after the fools and nothing's done but it's just like us what do we really understand we have certain things that we just do other things that we actually evaluate and work it through and the same thing with them they are doing the same exact thing they're making Intelligent Decisions just lacking certain information and they would go and have that information and of course they would choose the right decision it's just they're lacking that have we understood that when we realized hey we can actually make a major difference in our life just by teaching them certain basic principles that they say oh really that exists then all of a sudden that would change the entirety of the conversation so like I said before this is not only for other people this is also for us we have to make sure that we are getting Clarity on the decisions that we're making what's the value what's the cost is it worth it are you gaining more are you getting less does it make sense that it's tauren Mitchells on the part which is the gain or is it or am it's just the part that we call the loss now I can't do something because of that now I'm losing out because of that or the flip of that is is I'm going to gain so much if I invest myself my time my effort and that make sure that we get clarity on the values and then we'll be able to Choose Wisely if somewhere leaving tonight I just want to give a big well I should say it anyway yeah I didn't say it in that year but the project Inspire for for making this happen this is a I think an amazing weekend I did eat too much but uh but I enjoyed it I did so there was a there was a value over there thank you for clapping for that thank you thank you for that and of course I have to give a shout out to all of you this is always if you didn't come this would be really awkward say again oh yeah sure oh this is a good story this is a good story yeah you shot it you shut the camera