Where is Your Kindness Coming From?

okay good morning i heard uh good morning to everybody ari do me a favor put mute yourself uh when you want to ask you want yourself so we're on page 33 in country mayan we're still in the first mimer in middle of pedic bays we learned yesterday that there are various levels of tainook of pleasures one is called taino goofny or taino bahami an animalistic thai nuke or another name for it is a a bodily tinuk and that ever said that's like an animal you're acting like an animal that's number one above that more refined is the time of the pleasure of music he said very little about it but i did expound on it and uh you could listen to the sheer if you wish i don't want to repeat it but it's it's it's not roughness music is still gosh it's physical although it's it's to the air not to the palate but nevertheless it's it's still um a gosh dick of time but more refined that's why he calls it the second level of time which is higher uh more refined than the first level of pleasure and then he goes into the third and this is where we're this where we're at the third type of taino is a tiny that comes from doing someone a kindness however so so there you would think that it's really uh all good that ebb says if it's done because it's natural to the person then he considers that not a spiritual taina but rather a um a title that needs a work and we discussed that too so let's continue now on 33 the second paragraph take for example the attribute the character trait of jesus which requires distinguishing between good and bad in other words just just because you're blessed with a kindness doesn't mean you should always act upon that kindness sometimes the kindness if if it's it's indiscriminate it will be given to it'll cause a bad situation and you should have not used your kindness in that situation so that's why it says kindness needs mind over matter to direct it to nevertheless there are also times when you do have to give heset be benevolent to someone who is not suitable who doesn't really deserve it you know there'll be a purpose coming from the ghasa that you are doing to him although technically he doesn't deserve it so because you have the understanding that down the road this will give him uh the impetus to make a change in their in his life so therefore you should do now has it with him although right now he doesn't deserve and he brings a muscle from avraham [Music] he fed also arabs in his tent in his restaurant why did he do that to publicize monotheism in the world well the caliber sabria and the purpose of that was to bring people closer really close to godliness so therefore avraham found a way of drawing people in although he had no interest in feeding them that wasn't his thing but he did it as a way to get them in and to share with them that there is a creator there is a god okay that you you as it says under the murder i'll post it via the the terrorist says embraces and he called over there in the name of hashem god world america cesares anyone that passed his tent by having him come in and offering him a meal they were able to they they they gave praise to hashem kate sat how often after they ate and they drank undulating they got up and they wanted to say thank you very much like we do when we're hosted by someone we say thank you for the meal it's it's the right thing to do so they they they wanted to do the same thing amalaham so as soon as they did that we're going to do it he said to them did you eat of mine do you think that i i created the food michelle mccall you ate from the master the amish the god almighty the king of the universe it's his food thank praise and bless to the one who says there should be a world meaning to god and this is the way he taught them and this was the ultimate purpose of avron doing hesed with the arabs he wasn't doing hasset because by nature he had hesit him rather bring them closer to almighty god so this is the rapper's point to us that when we do hesed it should be a a mind-oriented hasset so therefore if you realize and this is important sometimes someone right now doesn't you could you could look at him and say he doesn't deserve to have the reset you know he's self-destructive or i don't know whatever the reason is but if you look at the person down the road and you see that by you helping him now it will give them a boost he'll make him his self-esteem feel better he'll get on his own two feet and he'll start working he'll start developing and it'd be a mention all that so you put aside what you naturally would not do and you do so it works both ways in other words mind over matter may have character level when it comes to hazard doesn't mean always to not give or give in in a limited way in a particular way it could also mean to give to someone who doesn't deserve because you understand to figure it out that through doing this it it'll help him get on his feet um i told over the story uh i met someone in in the show farah sukis who i hadn't seen probably 45 years when i was growing up in in here and my father had a business partner they had a um medallions their taxi at that time the 1970s for those that were around or remember uh there was a lot of uh rough rough stuff going on and and and never killings murders they were shooting taxi drivers it was very very rough and tough uh in fact one of the gentlemen in our school who was such a fine person and uh he learned from the babaji yeshiva by the previous rabbit in 1979 he was murdered smith 9th street uh over there rahman islam so it was a very tough time my father had a few dollars from the work that he did in the 60s that he worked hard so he his friend suggested that it's you can buy a medallion now and this is early 70s and it's a good business and you make nicely and he did that and then he then he heard his friend said that the city the mayor whoever came out and said that if you they'll give you two for one they'll give you two medallions for one because they want to have more drivers in the street and this was a but you have to set up a corporation a business a partnership so pumped exactly that time in shul came in a father with three sons in our borough pakistan our little stable and everyone said shalom alaikum today man welcome and you know and all that and uh you know they didn't have work and they were broken they came from merchants rome they were in bronx for 10 years it wasn't a great situation my father went over to the oldest one and and and as spoke him and said do you have work he said no i don't have work so my father said would you like to work he said sure someone says you have a few dollars you have some money he says i have a little not a lot my father says okay listen i need a partner to form a corporation to to be able to you put in whatever money you have i will front you the rest of the money talking about quite a bit of money even then to buy a medallion was expensive i will front you um the money and you'll pay me back as you make and he did that and my father put him on his feet i see the picture how these guys came at the show like it's just here today it's it's 50 years later but i still remember you know and and it was so broken you know such a hard time and he put him he gave him he gave him a job and then ultimately he walked him down the hook of my mother a blessed memory and my father walked him down with his wife and then he became his wife who was an american said enough of the taxis it's dangerous so they bro they broke the partnership a few years later and it stopped and uh he became a uh special uh a teacher in the public school for special needs students and today he has grandchildren in lakewood learning and i i was it was like never never would would i believe that he that he that he'd had such a beautiful family with grandchildren when they told him and and mention it it's like it's like a a dream come true what did it start from it started from i mean i don't know what it started from but there's no question my father he had the he had the the foresight to give him a job and the rambam writes you know the rambam rights the greatest seduct is to give someone a job so we're learning here in the mimer will learn the same that could over here that's why i'm mentioning the story and the idea what are we learning we're learning over here that sometimes hesed you say why should i help this person the person is self-destructive the person makes the same mistakes and you find all the reasons and good justified reasons why not to help them set what did we learn now you have to look at the big picture and you have to ask yourself how can i do something for him that will get him to feel good about himself and want to change and want to make a difference and if you think of it that way you help him so you're helping him because of what we call here hillel the tackles right because you look at the tacos cafonas you don't look at the hessed as it is now in the practical way i give him a check i give him food i give him a bed you look at the future it's a very very important the could this that and i don't want to you know we need to really if i bring about it at great length you know having the foresight to see a person in in their very beginning and and see them the way they're going to be 30 40 years down the road with the whole mishpache and develop you know that can only come if you use your seiko so that's what he's saying here that the left the mind over the matter includes also helping and giving hassan when it's not one not not not warranted or even it makes no sense let's continue isa where they're like almost the last line of 33 now on the last line avraham a metabolism even tells us the story of avraham the following way that avraham received the passer buyers misha youth next page 35 when they were eating the drinking hey guys bench bless oh my lord they said what should we say it's like we can't imagine this but we're just here for ourselves we eat we sleep there's an expression in yiddish millet left means we live men left we live we live a piggish day it's it's a yiddish expression meaning we live it up we party you don't care we're here what's good what we're only living for today right so malaya they say you gave us food we feel great we're ready to go back out ma neymar um look what he said the mattress says said to them i want you to say blessed is god of the world which we have eaten your vitamin of his so there is a god creator which they didn't know there is and he's telling them and he says say thank you to this creator bless him in kabbalah if the the the the arab who visited the tent the restaurant he ate and drank and he went in other words you don't have to pay your bill you get it you get um you get a free a free bill but what if they said sorry abraham you're not my rabbi you're not my teacher you're not my uh or the imams whatever you're not my boss sabram said no problem here's your bill and he said to him they said how much is it so he said for this you pay one seat it's a certain amount of money it says in the peter it's a certain worth of of an item wine you ate wine you drank wine but you'd boil it in another amount of money min third after the parentheses the hardly for the clay for you ate a piece of meat i gave you a good steak a good rib steak or whatever so you pay be you'd peel it in but a piece of bread but you'd probably the bottom line is he gave him a good bill for eating in the avrom's desert restaurant there's nothing else around you pay high price retail man said to them he explained who's going to give you wine in the desert this is all aramaic manure of clay who's going to give you meat in the desert who's going to give you uh the the bread and the in the in the middle the great problem he doesn't have the money wow what a bill i ate at the fancy manhattan kosher restaurant so a major lawyer and i and abram said no you're not you're not leaving here you have to pay your bill however omar he conceded and he said blessed is hashem so here's the question so this is the version of the measure it's the same idea before was i from a black male or was he into no this is what the mime is saying what's the mime is saying that avraham's hesed was driven by moah maya tala leif this is not blackmail this is authentic acid that's the point of the mimer that's the way siddha sees it okay if avrom would have not believed yoni that that um that monotheism is important and everyone needs to come to that recognition he never would have told them to pay he would never told him to why because he wouldn't have told him to bless to thank hashem to recognize the creator but because his entire restaurant was made for one purpose what was the purpose joining his sin to spread monotheism so if you come to the restaurant and you're against monotheism it's not for you and if you eat here you have to pay so this opens for us also another another general thought to think about as we go into shabbos and that is and that is the following why do i want let's say orgrim at my table why do i want to have guests at my table now you'll ask probably the average person ourselves included because it makes a nice shabbos table okay now are you doing it ask yourself are you doing it because you want you or your family or your kids want to get something out of it or are you doing it because the need needs it and and and and can benefit from being shashab's table and that's genuine that's wrong didn't make restaurants he wasn't in the restaurant business avrom was in the business of teaching monophysim and the way to teach monotheism one of the ways is opening a restaurant in the desert it reminds me when i lived in los angeles from 92 to 96 i opened on beverly boulevard which is in the fairfax area going towards beverly hills it was a very hip area there was a lot of you know shoots and modeling and movies that you know cbs is down the road and um i saw this place for rent and it was a storefront to the street and i said that would be a great spot to make a disguised chabad house and i'm not going to call it house and i didn't you know what i called it cafe schmooze and i had in one year six thousand unit people walked through the door that means not necessarily six thousand different people but 6 000 people some of which were the same repetitive customers come and what did i do i didn't have a minion there shabbos i i had basically i i oh so first i i was going to design it you know based on my good brooklyn uh knowledge which is not uh not los angeles so there were a group of college students who i said i need your help they said rabbi we'll help you but you have to let us design it if you don't let us design it we're not helping you so i said fine i mean i paid you know i raised the money to pay for the items and we got a bar thing with stools and and pink carpet and then they and then they they they painted the place dark green and banana yellow you know and this this for me you know was blew my it's like it's what's going on here you know you know to me it felt like a bar in soho or something you know in the village you know what's going on with dark lights and who knows what's going on anyway but i gave my words i didn't back out and because of what they did it drew people and what's a shabbos we used to have entertainment night which was usually kosher jewish music i wasn't going to you know i as long as the jewish music and a male singing you could play whatever you want i wasn't gonna you know tell them and one monster shabbos i even got peter himmelman bob dylan's son-in-law to play there you couldn't walk through the door i remember you could not walk through the door people were lined up outside so that was monster shabbos sunday night i did lectures for seniors eye glasses life insurance vitamins i remember i had this vitamin guru a jewish guy forget his name now he came and it drew and then i remember i had uh there was a documentary called a stranger among us i don't know if you saw or heard about it it was about uh a hussit who fell in love with a girl you know a whole story and the girl i think wasn't jewish so this guy he was a flat he learned to flap ushishibayoni here i think he was a graduate orphan this guy modern orthodox robert avrick i hope he's well i remember him like today and and and robert invited me to the to burbank to the studios to uh warner brothers studios to get a private screening because i told him i cannot allow if i don't know what i'm what it is because you know hollywood has all kinds of scenes i just can't give you a card plunge i have she said no problem i'll give you a uh screening so i remember this was like you know no one else was there it's like plush fancy anyway so i said fine after i saw it a woman she might this was sunday night this she must have been probably in her 70s she got up and in her european english video she said get out of here you're bringing in assimilation get out of here what are you doing in a jewish neighborhood i remember so that was sunday night and um during the week between my wife and uh another woman a fine woman uh we had several hours like a cafe sandwiches a cake coffee tea uh this was uh some hours during the day and in the evening now i i looking back this was uh from probably 92 to 94 so something like that 91 to 93 forget exactly the years uh several years then later what happened as i moved it to what i thought would be a real smash was a former night club on melrose avenue on the second floor and this was four times the size i think less money and i had the acoustics and i had equipment the club left so i thought i could bring here you know the biggest um stars to sing and and i'll get a thousand people melrose avenue kept people away which is an interesting lesson today crystal was on the second floor not a first floor so that was a very big lesson for me people even going up no but mostly this melrose avenue at the time announced the day it was you know disgusting we'll leave it at that okay and and even though to cross from the the yeshiva area to where the shores were the the cabachos the licorice rules you had to cross over melrose but that was a fast cross and you went you didn't look you to your right you didn't look to your left but us sitting there it it just didn't draw people very uncomfortable and so then i just closed it but when we were on beverly we're very much sliach but but what's my point i'm into making cafes crying dolphins is an entrepreneur making cafes come on no my cavanaugh is reaching people so this was a niche i thought would be very good and i remember robert kunin and cuna's son they called me mandy cunanan he was high you know we're friends he says how do i get these people how do i do the same thing in in in westwood i would love to do such a thing at the chabad house and at ucla and and pack the house you know so it was a great idea and i still i still think it's a great idea let's say a tel aviv can do you have to be in certain locales where it's very hip you know you can't you know uh maybe your jawline could do it i'm not sure but television could do it you know you have to be in certain areas but the point is we're not not going into the business that will lead for another part the time then the kudu is that the kavanaugh of the purpose and intent was was not the coffee and the and the singing no that what the kabbalah was to reach people and that's what he's saying here in the mimer of rome's purpose and his hesed was driven avi by a kavanagh by a purpose let's just read the last line the thing called amigos so it's true not only with it you want to give your your child you need feelings to give them a patch you have to weigh that patch i'm talking to myself you know my now i'm not you know with my kids well you know and it's hard because you're an emotional is that patch gonna be of service yes or no you want to be the disciplinarian they all have to be based on the sacral maya mind over matter very clear that that the the the rabbi ashab here in qut follows his great grandfather as the alta rebels shita of my character life we learned the kitsu and hashem when we uh learn on sunday now any any comments or questions kevin rob i just want to apologize next week i'm in a training for most of the week so i probably won't be around much so okay okay i'll do my best to kind of keep up with this right right and also hillel it's online or on my website all the urim so you can always listen to them okay um moshe did you uh did you get the information for uh for the kazara if you want yeah yes yes you said get the information in terms of the uh yeah i got it okay i just want to make sure yeah yeah but yeah it's it's it's it's on your site it's on my side but on two places either you can go to the youtube my or you i think my daughter said she hooked it up to my my website rabbitdolphin.com so i think both yes avi probably okay good are you continuing now no i'm listening to avi yeah yeah so we're reading all of these things and it's very nice abraham is sitting by his tent and he's rambling over the shaft the word over the shove in and of itself gives a sense of the essence of these people it's not that they're looking for spirituality they're passing by and they grab a meal good what is the efficacy what is the efficiency of doing this because it says those souls but then there's no there's no continuation of this who do we see that we know we could say three generations later became yeshua three generations later but they seem to like fade into obscurity and even avram himself he winds up having yes he has yet but he has ishmael and and and yitzhak has yaakov but he also has asa right so like maybe your facility that you had the cafe which was more of a hangout place was a more efficient thing than just grabbing a passerby who's passing by and and you you must have had returnees come to your cafe yeah but but but okay so i i hear your point avi but just like i've run had a um a one-time stand with with a passer by right they come in they're going on they're not returning they're not going back the same way coming back tomorrow for another meal right whatever so too maybe some did come back but you know it was really i didn't get a chance to dialogue with people it was you know they came for uh an hour or two of entertainment and they left and they didn't many times i wasn't there and if i was there they didn't even so there wasn't you know i wanted them to be expo i had oh i didn't say the other part i had a library of books and and you know and i had jewish tapes so in other words my idea was that if they want to know about yiddish guy do they want a safer or a book or how to speak to a rabbi or they heard the announcement that there'll be some classes during the week you know but in a way it was also a past it was like by avrom so um so the efficacy that you're saying is uh you're right you're right you're right in that it wasn't and avoid the premiums where you took a person you sat with him and learned and developed him to come to understand what god is no no that didn't happen at the time unless they dial up which it doesn't say they did right so in my case too it didn't happen because they they that's not that wasn't a venue but from avraham's point and from my point and the what i'm suggesting that the rebel is saying the rashaba is we have to set it up to give over a message of con of content and question and and that has meaning and purpose so that when the recipient will get it one day the recipient might say i want more he'll know where to go or it'll say oh that's what avraham meant yes avi so so you're working on two planes three planes first of all the shotgun approach you hope that one bullet is going to hit somebody the second is that you're sensitizing people to the concept even if they're not buying it right away and you're planting a seed that maybe maybe one day in a person will flourish correct correct well said well said well said which which is in a way like what what else can you do i mean of course uh you could you could say come back every day but he says i'm going off to another city i'm saying some many times and and then there are people who are not interested on the contrary if you tell them too much they don't want to come i didn't come here for a lecture rabbi i came here to hear jewish music and drink a coffee and talk to girls that's it that's what i want to do is what this is that is the best of a garnish but but what they sustain from csy okay as long as it's kosher it's good but again the nakuda is i want to make sure we don't lose the you know we get that the facet that we're doing has a has an orientation of with a cavan and a purpose that that's the point you know that's the point i mean this is an age-old issue debate in a way like how do you you know with balichuva people coming in and going out you know you bring them in and you get them all high and started right and then there's no follow-up i mean you guys have heard that argument and what follow up follow-up okay and it's an issue but for that you need other personnel you know it's so easy i remember in khabarovs work when i did that type of work this was a constant issue with that we discussed my friends and i and yeah it's very easy to say that no who's paying for the gentleman to be there with his wife and family to be able to teach oh so you need another sound what yes excuse me i just want to jump in you know i think though it's i think it's but it's it's it's deeper at that and deeper than that and there's there's more than multiple levels for example in the [Music] in beijing china right yeah they have a very large number of people that come through the friday night dinner shabbos dinner every week but it but and she said though she said she might only see that person once that person might only walk in there once that's it and she has that one opportunity to just simply make a kiddish hashem and to simply give to that person a shabbos environment right it's very very different than the than the shaliach in des moines iowa who is who has a you know been building a a community people they're not transient like in beijing it's very very different and why do i say des moines because des moines iowa was a place that a number a number of years ago a lit for chicago decided to come in and set up shop and it did this interestingly enough i don't think it stayed because the different ways of working and i'm just saying avi it's not there's different places forget there's different places there are different needs there's different different different types of people and what i'm just saying is that i think it's really important that rabbi dolphin is discussing the whole concept of just make plays for like it's like you know it reminds me like when when um when what's his name who is the famous person i think was in manchester i'm not sure he went into the rabbit and he was had this whole idea of making like a whole uh kosher milk plan he was gonna at that particular university and he wanted to start having learning and so and the red is said them not so fast not so much i just wanted to babysit them i want you to have a place where a jewish boy can come in and eat kosher food and sit down next to her next to a jewish girl you know so okay i'm just you know i'm just saying like there's there's there's there's you know there's a there's a time and right every environment is different right right okay but but but regardless of every environment being different there needs to be the maya live direction you know it should be thought out it should be a thought out plan which will benefit the person on some level on some level and not just it makes me feel good you know what i'm saying sometimes sometimes we do things sometimes we do even good things but it's all about me it's all about us you know and and like mannis friedman would say i remember you would say it's your wife's birthday and and you want to bring her something and and you bring her something and she says thank you but kind of you know that you know this is not it's like is it about you because you like this item it reminds me when my wife and i have to be married we went we were we stopped through california because they had friends there they made a shovel breakfast so i took her to disney disney world disney and you know it didn't really mean much to her but it was my trip it was my stick it was my stick i said i thought i'm going to impress her with disney and not that i was into disney but everyone talks about disney in anaheim so what more can i give a girl from australia than taking her to disney in halftime and treating her and dying whining and dining her and it was and it was meaningless for her you know you know i'm not saying she hated it but it it didn't it didn't accomplish what i thought it would accomplish why because it was about me not about her right and and and and you know it's a it's in the kuda that we sometimes we overlook we overlook you have to really assess what does the what's best for the other person guys i have another zeitgeist take care have a great shabbos yes it's shabbos and the famous word of the summertime the famous vartes v mestelte v meshtel the way you place yourself hold yourself on shabbos so goes the rest of the year so make the best of it learn for brain don't waste time sleeping and hugging your pillow less sleeping more learning and more for bringing with your family and friends have a great job bye-bye