Tu b'Shevat lessons - Growth is necessary - Needs vs. Wants - Pleasure - Rebbe's practices

so yeah so um it's a day after two shot but still um it's important to review some of the basic lessons from tu b'shvat so the mission says there are four rosh hashanahs and one of them is the rosh hashanah for four fruits for the new uh the new crop and there's a machis a difference of opinions if it's uh the rashkai deshvat or tu bishvat the 15th and we make follow the ruling that's on the 15th so first first of all that putting tube is a category of rush rosh hashanah there are four rosh hashanahs that's very significant the mishna classifies this day as one of the four rosh hashanahs we know that rosh hashanah means the head of the year it's not the beginning of the year it's the head rosh hashanah if it were to mean afrom just the beginning of the year would say doesn't say that this teaches us that that rosh hashanah is a head the head is the nerve center for all of the body whatever happens in the body is determined by the head and that's why it's so important to guard the head in the in the swarm in to talk about refining your character and and you know what we call classified as muslim there's there's lots of discussion about the importance of guarding your head let me guard your head guarding what goes into your head what goes into your body what goes into your behavior is important very important but not as important as what goes into your head because what goes into your head is the nerve center that will later make opinions and and determinations and issues which can lead a person in any way shape or form so that's why the rosh hashanah is the icar of the shanda it's the primary day of the year that sets the tone for the year in other words even yom kippur and sukkus and simcoe tyra and praise voice and all the young they pale in comparison to the reish hashanah from this angle from this perspective they're not the brain they're not the nerve center they are they are already particulars the hands the feet the stomach the eyes the nose etc etc and that's why on rosh hashanah the swara makati the holy swarm right how important it is to guard and watch the head that the head should be just with god with hashem and when you set the tone right on register that the nerve center is is healthy and proper then the rest of the limbs and the ear turn out better so this is this is regarding rosh hashanah then yesterday to beshvat is called rejected it's the head of the year for trees so obviously there's a message and a connection between the concept of a nerve center for trees on this day that's relevant to the rest of the year and the tone is set for the concept of trees which we're going to talk about in a moment all on rosh hashanah so what is the idea of elongates so the simple idea of elonese is growth a tree is planted and it's small and then it grows it grows sometimes to the right to the left center but it grows so the essence of of illinois is growth we call this in hebrew growth right and what's the what's the nakuda what's the point the point is that the idea of growing and growth is established on tupas because since tuberculosis it's the head of the if trees the head of growth so the nurse center for growth is on rosh hashanah and that's a magnificent idea uh it's it's it's a govaldig insight and observation to live with antubershvat and subsequent things that like today the day after so when we talk about growth when we talk about smear the first thing that we have to ask ourselves are we growing anyone that says i am a finished and complete fruit or tree and i am i smell well good well i look well and people look at me and observe me and pick my fruit and everything else thank you very much if you yourself tree are not growing then ultimately your fruit will die out your appearance will die out and people will stop gravitating to to this to this tree and the same is in our daily life this is the basic message the basic message is that regardless of how old you are and how knowledgeable you are and how seasoned you are and everything else if you stop growing you become stale we say you're saying to gomorrah nikoi which means grab the kite means to grab this clow it's aramaic grab this rule beyond your hands listen to this rule and you'll be on the right page what's the rule you have to keep on growing anyone that tells you i don't care how old or smart they are i already know it i don't need to grow more stay away from that don't listen to their advice sorry the basic talent for for for success in avoidance hashem is i there's so much i don't know and i want to grow till the last day of a person's life and this is the message for illinois it's determined on this day that the trees which this is the nerve center for growth so what we invest in on tuberct besides eating the the the shiva minimum and then making uh rosh hasha to beshvatsadorim and everything else and brachas and it's all beautiful and the valdic and holy we have to go back to the basics let's not forget about the basics and the basics is it's rosh hashanah the illuminati for trees that grow that's one very important message a simple message and yet an important message another point that i heard from the rabbit many times because the rabbit was with fabrein in the last 10 15 years of fabregas he would forbrain make a fabrega on tuber schwartz i think uranium sent me some clips of they have online of fabregas where they brought the rebel fruit and you could see how he was so meticulous making the bracha which mean and which type before the other type because it says in the in the positive era so there's an order in the wording in the verse that the land of israel has been blessed with shiva meaning so according to jewish law when you have all the meaning in front of you or some of them you need to follow that order to make the brothers and i just saw on the way here a clip where they have that ebber would always have by a fabregan wine that he would make our girlfriend on and and some cake that he made in missouri in the sun and on two bespoke they would put down a whole plate which looks it looks like dates and and and and probably some pomegranate and and um and and the grapes so on this clip you see how he's looking he's turn he turns the the the kyra the plate the platter around and he wasn't satisfied he spoke to rabbi unic who i guess was a hell an aide to help him so he asks him is there a complete taina a complete taina and and unity the rabbit couldn't find it so europe found it on the bladder and he pointed it out to the ribbon the rabbit took it and he made a bracha and he ate the entire to ena he didn't break it first because he's supposed to make abraham something that's charlaine that's complete but before he did that he drank some wine because that comes first in the plastic and he also and he also ate a piece of cake it's just very interesting how he you know he was just following the shogunate but here you get to see on the screen how a firm jew has something to do with being around them where is the cake coming i saw that also the bells are rubber he has cake what does that come from wheat prito wheat barley come first in the pusic eretz oh sorry right so they come first so anyway if you take a look at this this little clip and you look at the verse you'll see how he's so meticulous and it's so it's so beautiful to see because this is a firm jewel this has nothing to do with being a rabbi sadiq as the dude any jew that wants to follow the narrative so but but talking about another lesson that i've always shared and i share it with you what are we celebrating on tuesday we're celebrating fruits right fruits and produce wheat but one of the things we're celebrating is fruits what is fruit fruits are usually the either cocktail or the dessert in other words they're not the bulk and the main part of the meal the main part is fish chicken or whatever milfix whatever you have but the the fruit is either a an opener like a cocktail or a clothes or a dessert so what does that mean what is that not in certain in our avoid this hashem this represents something that on one hand is not necessary it's not like the fish or the meat in the main course but yet it either opens you up to have appetite or it closes your finishes your appetite and what does and what what is it that does that the fruit what is fruit represent tynuk pleasure there are things that are necessary and things that are luxuries a friend a friend of mine would tell his his his children when it came to shidduchim make me a list of what you feel is important in a spouse i'd like you know make me a list of you know six things eight whatever make me a list so that when we we look for uh we'll will know what you're looking for and they come back with six eight ten things he takes the list he tears up the list and he says now make me a list of not what you want but what you need and you don't get more than two there are wants and there are needs here the message is just the opposite the the the fruit is not a need it's a want right you don't need to eat fruit and dessert you can you know a an appetizer you could just have the meal and you'll be also nice and full what do you need to have an appetizer what do you need to have a closer a dessert i want it it tastes good oh so the message is that the there's the pleasure that a person looks for and that pleasure although not a need rather a want can be used if done right for the service of hashem so here we see how yiddish guy talter doesn't exclude wants but embraces wants and and holifies them and spiritualizes them and this this is important to discuss for a few minutes the tata judaism is not a religion that squashes us you know if a person feels and there are people that feel that way shabbos is a burden are restrictions and restrictions and more restrictions and i don't want that i want to feel free so i don't like this and this is something we're dealing with now with the with that with everyone but particularly younger people the whole culture is a culture of freedom i do what i want what makes me feel good anything that's restrictive is not for me so here and and this is very real this isn't you know so like it used to be right what would you tell a son or a daughter or a person who feels that way you don't like it too bad that's the way the yeshiva's years ago and i hope it's less and less today i would hope and pray would tell you you don't like it you can leave you can find another yeshiva you can find another shule you can find another community in other words there was no room for negotiating for conversation from for understanding it's my way or the highway and unfortunately a lot of people were lost to yiddish sky to front kite this way because it was very very um uncomfortable and very very cold and and very uh stuck up and and people don't like that so today we don't use that approach we use the approach of negotiating of conversation of embracing of talking so what we experienced today is the the want is also important the fruits are also important today and maybe we could say yoni that today the fruits and the fruit aspect the pleasure aspect of a person's life is more important than the needs now that's a big statement but what do i mean if we could tap in to the wants of people and and show and train how to use the wants for the betterment of a kurdish borough and family will get a lot a lot far further because if we could show how the toyota and how yiddishkait does understand your freedom and does work with your freedom and does give room for your independence and your autonomy and your creativity will get will will have a a lot more adherence and interest within the the the site the cycle of the jewish experience as the torah sees it but it takes creativity and it takes number one the openness on part of the leaders and rabbis and scholars and teachers and parents to acknowledge that this is important so this day of tu bishwat in addition to dealing with the needs is all about the wants the pleasure the fruit is pleasurable a fruit is not meat and and and and chicken and and and fish and the main course so yes we could exist without the main course but i don't want to i want to indulge i want to have pleasure no problem let's see how we can find a kosher indulgence i go back to the shabbaton that i went to yesterday that i shared with you because i'm just i'm still it's buzzing you know it's fresh in my mind the shabbos i can't say there was indulgence there except for one area food i mean there was you know food all over and and in addition to the i'll give you an example i think you'll be able to relate to this i've run you too um the the chakras was a three and a half hour chakras it was like a karabakh chakras but with khazanas more although they used half of the tunes probably were extremely carol buck's tombs and this is in shopper and and and bells these are like this was the most hasidic group there was no modernity here i told you yesterday this was like the spitz of the spitz the top you know the most frummies okay and meanwhile this 18 man choir 18 man i heard it cost 35 just to have them there for the shoppers wow every person gets twelve hundred dollars or so and then the conductor who's phenomenal and i sat at box seats how he does it was phenomenal he gets probably more and the cousin they have a cousin he gets paid separately by the hotel he probably gets 10 15 000 anyway it was a real production so it took we started nine o'clock i don't think we finished about 12 30 three and a half hours okay but it was it was beautiful i thought it was it was really it was really pleasure it was really kind of well after and and and you know most of these hasidim don't eat before darwining in khabad bells they'll have a they have a coffee but they don't have any cake or any fruit you know they're so you know getting up eight o'clock 7 38 and then not eating till 12 30 to you know you're hungry so the meal the main hall there were eight hundred to a thousand people between men and women with a full pizza no sitting together it was it was it was the you know the highest of the highest in in these in the standard anyway so i i finished david and i went into the the main hall i you know found the seat invited a friend of two we sat together and i watched i watched you know we're gonna start a meal you wash and they had fish and it was very good different types of fishes five different types of fishes so so but i see that most of the hall is empty i reminded myself when i passed from the shul to the to the dining hall there were tables full of herrings and cakes and whiskey and wine and sodas and crackers who wants to eat that you're going to eat a meal now guess what most of the people before they went into the hall they went to this area and they made kiddish you know the little shop glasses probably and they ate they had about seven different types of herrings they finished that they came in and they washed now i'm asking you why was it necessary to have that kiddish part in between you're just going to stuff yourself up and here you're going to have a full-blown meal a delicious meal i didn't even stay for the chunks i i i left i left after the fish i was full both friday night and sharpest morning i did not stay staying for the stay for the main meal besides the fact that they had speakers and they were going on and on i wasn't up to that and i was tired right but if you know you have a you're gonna have three different types of meats and you're gonna have chones and you're gonna have kishka you know it's all out why are you now eating herring and crackers and cake before just just to stuff yourself and get sick but you know what the answer is that's the way we do it in shul every shop is every shabbos is a conditional shoe so we stay for the kiddies we have harry and we have vodka and we have soda and we have cake and we sit at half an hour 45 minutes whatever which moves of hello goodbye then we go home we have a meal so even though over here from the from the shoe to the dining room is a hundred feet and it's all ready for you as we say in good old hungarian yiddish meaning the words are minute avocado be ordained the custom of our ancestors is in our hands we do what our ancestors did and they say it with the hungarian accent minhag be your dainy this is the way we do it don't disturb us we follow the script you know i i haven't been at such a shabbaton ever in my life and although i grew up in this culture i live in this culture but when you see it up close this was this was back seats this was right in my face and you know and i'm i'm totally chabad and i think about it you know what i'm saying i'm trained differently but hashem i'm able to be open enough to look at this and see it and not say disgusting but observe and walk away with ways of understanding it so why am i saying all this this long drawn out um story of a shabbos meal at this shabbaton on one hand you could say yay it's disgusting you're just indulging you're just indulging avrom you're gonna have a shabbos meal with five different types of fish four different types of meats chunked desserts don't ask isn't that enough you need herring vodka and cake and soda before it's an indulgence and a very sick indulgence because you're going to get sick you're going to blow up the answer is this the way we do it it's our pleasure we consider this a pleasure so i wanted you to say hey organizers of the shabbaton don't give don't serve that you'll save yourself thousands of dollars whatever it costs to have this extravagant kiddish in addition to the meal cut it out you save 10 grand let's say and it's healthier for people no they provide the way people are accustomed to and i think it's an important lesson maisha you're a gabba in shul you're involved a shoe an organization you as as you and your wife people we as as as hosts we need to provide i always tell my wife the fact that i shouldn't i shouldn't eat salt and my wife cooks without salt for herself and myself and i say it's wonderful but it's not guess it's it's it's you know it guess it it's not baton guests want to have food with salt and it's a balance and a challenge how do you know what are you gonna cook separate meal the point is we're talking about moisture that today we need to take indulgences which is the idea of elonos this is a shiran tubert fruits which is delight it's not it's either the appetizer or it's the the dessert it's not the main course which represents the the wants of a person not the needs today we the wands have become needs and we need to show how the wants can be made holy right it used to be that its needs and that's it but you don't like it out well we lost a whole generation today we need to take the wants of a person and say come let's find ways of using your wands for serving god as well and that's what they did so they provide the full-blown kiddish if you're foolish and you stuff yourself up and then you have a meal you know you you're a fool but if you if you want to just keep the tradition take a drop say lakayam and go into the main hall and have the meal and if not that's your personal choice and the same is with everything in life we provide we need to provide for our children and grandchildren our friends and families and communities the the the the right way the best way and that includes also things that people appreciate i just read yesterday a letter that was written in 1948 from paris to parking germany parking was a dp camp and there was from eden including the barbecues that were still there and this chabad rabbi who writes to some friends of his he says that the previous rabbis is sending or sent to the barbecue buchanan from 770 or uh rabbi posner's alma posner became a rabbi in nashville tennessee later and uh rabbi mendel baumgarten who lived later in crown heights and he's sending them to europe to visit jews and be muchasic and strengthen jews that are downtrodden and upset because of the holocaust and everything else so the rabbi writes to the two rabbis and parking he says and we're going to make a fabrega and then he says what's a fabregan we're going to have a little herring and a little lechaya and he says and we're not going to make the fabregan into a full party and food and because it's a fabrega you see and i know who wrote that and i know where he came from he was from russia and then he lived in paris and i know the mindset it was the same mindset of we're going to impose on you what khasidis is and the way of our brain and should be and we're not going to make a fabrega into a lavish party because then it's not a fabregan so in in principle he's right in principle he's right if a brain is not a time to have a lavish meal because if you get wrapped up in the meal you lose the whole impact of the fabregan however then and in that situation where he was talking about people of the same ilk and the same mind said it could work but you do that today guess what no one's coming to you for brendan what are people like they come in they see a full table of food that's already a beginning right imagine they come in they see a little a little vodka a little scotch and a piece of herring and a kiko they're not gonna come back for sure in their mind they're gonna walk away wow these people are stingy these people don't have these people don't want and all that so that way the message is that today we need to use gashmir's have a lot of goshmirs and use it for hashem that's what the rabbit taught us not to negate kashmir's but we should again not to lose sight of what's the economy what's the toughest what's primary what's ancillary but to to to be blessed and to use as much gasoline as you can for the sake of hashem and this way um many people that wouldn't come along for the ride would come along i just want to say that one of the reasons for the assimilation and the breakdown in poland in particular in the 1920s and 30s and i had this in my own family i heard this was the poverty was was was terrible and the young people said enough we don't want to all be in one room 8 10 people mother father and kids and sleep on on on straw and not have what to eat we're sick and tired we're going to we're going to america going to just roll going to costa rica we're going to south america and they left and they left and with that their beards came off the yarmulke's name of the shaytans came off and they left because poverty poverty is is is something that especially the youth can't relate to it you know so i grew up with with my father you know talking about eating pump you know dark hard pumpernickel bread and being happy had a piece of bread during the early the 40s when he was a young boy and there was starvation all around i mean i heard that he lived it you know and my father went for sure even in the 30s and that's important it was i i benefited because i took it the right way but a lot of people don't and they say i don't want my uncle who was born in 48th i think so he came at the tail end he once told me i asked him could you tell me about your past he says hi i try to forget my past it's too painful the hardships were so hard i i just don't want to go there so we we need to you know put all this into perspective in today's world and today's life and generation and figure a way how to balance the two and understand that what was good 50 years ago or 30 years ago might not work today in the marketing of the product and if you so today really it's about the marketing of all these things and this is something that i i in my books i try to communicate in a various way you don't have to water down yiddish kite and cassidy you don't need to water down you shouldn't water it down but just be clever in the marketing of it make it make it uh make it um desirable for the new world and when you do that within the confines of halal we see not just all the baltimore movements all the fruit movements there's more and more the bells are i mean there's more and more receptivity and openness to to uh to understanding people's wants not only their needs i have another share i'd love to talk but i have to go we'll continue tomorrow bye bye have a good day thank you