Take Responsibility - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

can we can i just ask can everybody please be really careful about putting their phones on mute because there's one person i don't know who someone keeps not putting their phone on mute we keep hearing a lot of like static and noise of things moving around okay okay but also i also want to see an opera okay if i sing an opera moisture okay oh also you know yesterday we had some new people who people people that you know don't come often um if people want to ask you know especially new people or comment they should feel free um you know in in at the appropriate time uh i don't want this to be just me talking which is most of the time what i do but anyway so can you send in a climber my shirt can you send the new mimer because i don't think i don't think you sent it he sent it already he sent it check your phone i sent it but i'll send it again okay so we are uh in the mimer rabbi oymer it's a yeah uh purely obvious yes you don't have to send it i see it i said sorry it was there was so many messages since i see it thank you okay so we're in the my mirabi which started on page 279 in the volume gimbal volume three of the my modem will cut them from the based on the previous synapse discourses and we're actually on page 280 just to recap uh that the mishna says who's called robbie says what's the path what's the proper path that man should choose one that's good and beautiful for for hashem the creator and one that's good for men you know good for good for people and good for hashem you you excel in both areas so he brings the question of the madrid and medishmull says you know the quest there's only one path to mitzvahs that's what we're told is the best path and it makes you you know good in both areas so what what's the mission are adding obviously the mission is adding something more so that brings this question and um from there he goes into explaining the whole idea of the of the soul coming in uh into a body on earth and he says that the word adam because the mission that chooses the word azahid theraph yeshua what's the right path that man should choose so who is this so you know although this mime was from the previous mind was from 1940 so it's not a continuum nevertheless it's interesting the way they stay they placed it here in the book and probably they want to put it together had that in mind because we learned in the previous mimer all about names and about adam so here he also finds a mimer in which there's um a focus on the workshop okay but i want to make it clear baroque that this is from two different years so it's not a hampshire right you know there's something in chabad called hampshire a continuum of discourses where a rebber starting with the fourth rabbit raphsmule rabbi marash we don't find this in the previous first three rubbers of the baby we don't find the concept of a continuum of my murray the first threat and khabar that did a continuum of my mural was the rebel mirage what do we mean by continuum that the the mimer that was said this week was a continuation really of the mime of last week and the mime of the next week was a continuation of this week it's called in in in in chabad circles uh it's called hampshire a hampshire of my morm a continuum of my moral this is not so no no no no no the basiligani that was originally um published for yucat was 20 chapters those 20 chapters the previous level divided into four discourses to be studied at four different times so the four discourses that he wanted you just wanted us to study in 1950 on youtube on purim and on his father's yards at base nissan i believe those four were a continuum what you're referring to is the basiligani that each year the rebels said that's not a continuum each year the rebel took one chapter of his father-in-law's mimer and he expounded on it i'm not talking about that i'm talking about the mimer itself and my muram they're continuing from one week to the next from one month to the next depending on you know how often he said the mimer anyway let's go back so so what we're learning here is that the other who is this who is this man and that was one of his questions then he introduced the idea of um and he taught us that the aim over here doesn't mean if as though you have an option hashem you always have an option because you have free will but the implication and he brings support to it him here means halawa it's my wish it's my wish that you do torah mitzvahs and that itself that hashem has a wish gives support to a person to do torah mitzvahs that's what we learned let's now continue as he continues this thought and it's like nine lines from the top it's 10 lines it says the who alters the last three words on the line on on page 280 like line number 10 or 11 for who al derek received do you guys have it baroque you have it or not yeah i have it you don't have it bro we'll find it one two three four five six seven eight nine ten ten lines from the top the last three words on the line for who i'll receive this idea is similar to what's written over her hashem says in the torah you shall choose life see if before this verse it says i i give before you today maybe i give before you life and goodness and death and evil i give you a choice make your choice and at the end after it says i put i put before you either life and goodness or death and evil yet the verse concludes choose life moshe it's like a contradiction you're telling me i have free will to make my decision and then you conclude the verse but you should choose life is it my choice or not that's that's the question [Music] is although god almighty chose two different paths one is the path of life and goodness and the second one is the path of death and evil the north sampras is leo and hashem gave free will to men leave foreign to choose what he desires whether in baha'i in between to choose life and goodness so yet you have free will the hoser nevertheless he annoys them like a taver i'm giving you a good recommendation a good answer over heart of account it's up to you you've got you have to make a decision but my advice to you is choose life listen that though that suggestion by hashem that is the aid that hashem that has mamish has tangibility has actuality to actually make you help you make the decision to choose life and i explained this yesterday at length yoni you weren't here but i explained that that i gave a lot of examples how how when someone who we care for get wishes something for us or we know that this is what they want that itself gives us the impetus to implement it if you know that your wife wants something then you try to do that for her without her telling you that and that itself creates the bond and that gives you the kayak to be able to do that so that's the same thing with hashem yes we have free will no question about it but by the fact that hashem says in the torah at the end of that verse dealing with free will and i recommend you choose life that itself gives us the help to choose life because otherwise we're in a you know we're in a a dilemma like you know right and left up and down good or bad how do we have the coyote to make the choice how do you have the kayak so the tightest that that is explaining to us because hashem itself says to you my suggestion is this and when you hear my suggestion is you say ah that's really what he wants if that's really what he wants and i'm really in love with him and i really care for him i'm going to do that so those words of heart behind are the actual c you are to go and choose good my misery as the saying of our holy blessed and blessed sages in the good morning shabbos tommy if someone comes and he wants to defy himself he wants to mess himself up he wants to make himself impure place can lie we it's open for you we can't stop you you want to mess yourself up you can but while the tire the gamora says if someone says i want to come and become more pure more holy not only do we say the door is open but messiah we actually help him become more pure sorry god hashem says you want to mess up the door is open you got free will you want you you you want to improve and become more tahoe or more pure messiah now you say will help you and he brings you from rashi look inside guys and hashem prepares for him an opening you make a resolution moshe meyers you want to go and visit people who are in a nursing home and for some reason you're tired that you're not feeling well or or you don't have the wherewithal hashem says you want to do it i'm going to make it possible i'm going to make it possible someone calls you says hey motion let's go out so you say yeah we'll go out but let's stop or first at the nursing home to visit this and do the mitzvah of visiting the the the ill the sick people bitter hailing what happened he didn't you didn't he why all the sudden is he calling you now because i couldn't saw that you want to do a that type that mitzvah but you didn't have the kayak messiah they help you from above hashem makes it possible somehow that you actually do it that's that's that's the shot over here [Music] since hashem gave man free will if he based the direction to choose what path he wants because nevertheless if he wants to make himself impure to me to choose the path of evil ain't mine and i say we don't prevent him but vayne messiah we don't help him either hey charlie you're on your own i can't stop you but you're on your own you ain't getting help for me to mess yourself up right my father told me when i was 19 and and and i decided to smoke cigarettes what did he tell me he said i'm telling you i tried this when i was your age and for and it messed it was smelly and costly don't do it but it's your free will so i tried it and after a while i said you're right it's costing me and i smell from the smoke and i dropped it but it's your free will messiah you could do you have free will but i'm not going to help you i'm not going to support that endeavor let's continue ain't mine you know you say so when you when a person wants to be become tummy we don't prevent him from from not becoming tommy because yes free will but at the same time ain't no signing we don't help him ella poison lloyd it's open the door is open because you have free will and now he brings another another statement visel in la lates [Music] it says um in malaysia who yell it's if i think lazy means scoffers if for scoffers who yell it's he wants to kind of participate in the scoffing activity so in the latest who y'all need to be at if he himself wants to become a scoffer i know but also in otsuka him with his own will but he decides to choose to sit amongst the boars and scoffers and jokesters and waste away you can do it my friend the bowery is open the bottles are there the drunks are all over if you can't drink here they'll drink there you can't drink right and you got free will you got free will and sometimes you can go into a show and get a good drink right and the kids club you need a drink you can find a drink if you're so it's open i will get your body tired conversely when you want to become pure you want to become better you want to become more holy not only do we say the doors are open you can you could you have free will and we're not going to stop you from doing that but messiah namely we actually will help you accomplish that everyone has to know this so sometimes we say moses says to me i like learning that my mother i'm having a hard time finding time to review the my moral and he's right without khazara you guys know from yeshiva you all went to yeshiva i think they say rabbi hutner earl washoe said the greatness of learning is not the learning the greatness of learning is the hazara the review and the fact is if you don't hazard you don't review you don't remember maybe you remember the general but you don't remember the the details and the details of where is where it's at and to have khazra like moshe said you need time so that's why i told them shabbos is a great time shabbos there's no you have to find time you will have russo if not so you get up a half an hour early you sleep a half an hour less in the afternoon you know anyway so so here it is how but if you have that desire my ship because you're both tired you want to become more pure you want to hazard but you're finding it difficult he never signed them from heaven they're going to help you and somehow you're going to succeed in hazard you'll see but you have to really want to cause her you have to really want to review that's the key over here right you know lip service is easy but you know i really want this like i really want to do a a nice a nice art piece of art for a client or to to help someone all that i really want to do it the same thing you have to be driven and hashem sees that you really want hashem will provide it and i'm sure we all of you can say in that you've seen this in your life if you if you really want to do something and i don't mean only taiyo mitsubishi with terry but if you really want to do something you will see you will get see you uh you will get assistance because hashem wants us to be on the right path let's continue you will be helped from heaven over gamora and the mother perish [Music] russia if someone wants to make himself impure to be wicked the opening of con defilement of of of contamination spiritual contamination is open for you the is like to go in claim it my speaking we make it possible and from heaven they don't stop you you don't you're not gonna get stopped you know it's like someone says i'm gonna prove that this is all baloney and it takes anyone kipper and he eats a good ham sandwich you see you see where's god where's your tighter right my friend don't scare me with your tactics you know this was kind of the european like you know oh the heavens are gonna open up and you and a like lightning bolt is going to come down and strike you as soon as you eat that trey from your kipper well let me tell you it ain't happening if i shouldn't want it to happen because you got to die and you'll keep her you're going to die but not you understand at the same time that i'm not saying that what it says that toyota reward and punishment is not ms of course it's emma's but the point is that a person has to know free will was given and like it says here if you if you want to make yourself tommy the doors are open and hashem is not going to prevent you like the lightning bolt is not going to come and hit you before you eat that traffic on your kipper that's not true right sim who y'all is him yet if he wants to attach himself to scoffers who yells who yell at the emphasis is barack on the who who yell it's you will join the scoffers you have to initiate it i'm not going to help you join the scoffers i'm not going to prevent you from joining the scoffers but you ain't getting help from me to join this office conversely if you want to be modest who believes khabib you want to attach yourself to modesty and modest people [Music] god who is able and capable of giving you the grace will give you the grace that the modest people will say ah you're a modest person come join our club come join our group come we want you you are an asset for us you bring to us a a a a purity a refinement be part of our group the ha the harvey see you yes and the rebel now says what he said earlier he says this is what i mean when i said before this is this is an assistance yes those are very important words i want you to underline those words see you ashley yes there is there is help that is fantasy people say i'm going to help you and you know what that means i'll see you next year that's not see you or she yeshua mamash here he says that the help that hashem says to us that i'm going to help you if i see that you really want to do this i'm going to help you make it possible it's it's you can bank on it say yo you can bank on it then you go back a year later you say wow this dream and this aspiration that i wanted and i was struggling and i couldn't accomplish it and you turn back you say i accomplished it how did you accomplish it because you had sayata the shemaya you've heard the word sayata deshmaya help from heaven that's what it means help from heaven sayata did you ever think about what's the word sayata mean assistance when your car when your car breaks down on the wheel you have a issue with the wheel you need the roadside assistance you need a8 to come along or a tow truck or someone else who stops and is kind and helps you fix the flat that's called assistance it's momish and you get back on the road and you continue driving well the same is here you want to drive somewhere you want to go somewhere you want to accomplish something and you're struggling you're having a hard time so we say show hashem that you really want it and you show hashem you really want it and and one more point and it's what hashem wants of you meaning to say you're not you're not going up the wrong alley you're on the right way or you're not going on a one-way street the other way you're going on a one-way street towards your destination because sometimes you can go on a one-way street thinking you're going to your destination and you're actually going further away from your destination you know why because you don't have your mission clear but we're talking about when your mission is clear you know what you need to do and yet it's hard for you then hashem says i'm going to help you i will help you and the help will come and we've seen this over and over in our lives hashem puts interesting things in our way unexpected and many times it's because he's giving us that siyua mamish tangible actual assistance saying come here come here come here come here go this way this is a this is this is going to get you in a very good place let's continue all of this moshe is a long example to explain the verse that he brought earlier if you follow in my statutes and he translated look i only wish that you go in other words this is my wish and i will help you to carry out the wish so get on the bandwagon and join the the wish is it's like it would have said you know instead of saying yoni in if it's as though it would not say if it would say and in my statutes you shall go then we wouldn't have this whole discussion right the only reason we're having a discussion is because the implication of the verse is if you walk in my ways implying you can or you cannot and to that the rabbit says that the real meaning of him over here is not you can or cannot but i wish so that's what he says here that really if although it says the word in in the tita the it's as though it does it's as though it does not say the word m and rather the word m is replaced with the v and o meaning what the v meaning what and in my statute you should walk and if it says in my statute you should walk it's not giving you a choice at all i'm telling you in my statutes you should go follow my directions not you may follow or you may not follow follow hashem the misfits you become a mahalak you're no longer a a a o mate standing but you become a goer you're on a path you're walking you're trekking along on the mile of walker right this is the advantage that the soul has by investing itself and clothing itself in the body in comparison with milo comparison to the soul the way it's above prior to descending in to a body you would think that the soul before coming into a body is much higher is greater and in one way it is but there's an advantage to the neshama coming into a guff this is where on top of now 251 281. i will give to you mahalhim goers walkers bain ho india among these these people these who are standing so we have oindim and we have what are you so the rabbit says [Music] the group of angels called fiery angels i.e seraphim own them stand me right before hashem okay another saying it says it's is brought on them they stand in the exaltedness of the world referring to the angels the reign behind the show may be milo so just as regarding angels they are called i aim them so too much right hello guys there's a difference between on the summer a soul and an angel okay angels are not in the shamas and the shamas aren't angels yet the way the neshama is before it enters the body it's like an angel in the but in in a disadvantage meaning in what disadvantage that it only stands it doesn't move and i'll explain that in a moment before then comes into a body they're called standing commissioner life of god it's a promise i promised hashem i promised the name of hashem eli kay israel the god of israel a shadow that i stood before him [Music] before it went into his body and what does he say about his ashama a i stood before you god why i stood up and only because the soul descended and invested itself and closed itself in the physical body mixes and feels tedious it leaves the state of omad and it enters the state of mahalik a walker a goer i want to conclude and then i'll explain in kane if so he goes back to his question this this whole paragraph was like a long parenthesis to explain the question and now he concludes with the question in canaan and moving it based on everything we said it's not understood mao identify yeshua what is the right path zuma star container mitzvos the implication is the some other right path in addition to torah mentions so the rabbi says what is it tell me the secret says after this the bishop says you should be careful about what's considered an easy mitzvah like a stringent mitzvah so the rabbit says there is some kind of path there is some kind of approach that we don't know yet what that is that seems to be outside of torah mitzvahs not a real mitzvah not a real learning of torah but some kind of neutrality that doing that will help you be careful about doing lenient mitzvahs with the same vigor as you do stringent mixers now going back to what we're learning over here about the difference between a mahalaka mate amalah you know today there's a fascination with angels and people wear pins that are symbolic of angels and they talk about angels the first thing you should know is they don't know for their highest they don't know from their living being what an angel is it's all fantasy and nourish kite okay when we learn taita and we learn kabbalah and we learn khasidas we also don't know what an angel is i'll never forget i was that if i bring with the rabbit it was shabbos it was a beautiful fabrenium a beautiful day and the rep in the middle was explaining a rashi that had that that speaks about angels and in the middle of that he he broke out in a smile and he said i never saw angels either like who are you kidding who sees an angel it's all fantasy mode now the story that i told you once when i was in marin county the first simchas torah which was 1984 i think was that or the next year 85 and we had nine people simply told it was it was a like a tuesday or wednesday at that or it was actually eight maybe 86 87 when one of those first years and we rented a gazebo in a community office complex the place was packed with cars and people were working and it was nice and quiet you know it was very rural it was it was very uh a beautiful scene and yet we are that we are davening and it's torah and barak hashem the owner of mr erickson i remember his name as long as he got paid his eleven hundred dollars for the rental he was happy and um you know from time to time the kids you know threw a little of stones and pebbles stepped on the flowers we got some complaints and we said we'll take care of it and um they left us alone and it was a very nice few years two years i think that we were there or so and it was very nice anyway we had nine people it's simplest torah it's 90 degrees outside and there weren't many jews that i knew of in the complex and if they were a few they were working and they weren't from yet and they didn't uh care or know about simplest torah where am i going to get a tenth person we this office complex was at the edge of this community and there was a gas station at the corner and basically inside was a planned community 538 homes of a planned community and everyone's out working so i go out with my towers and i run to the right then i run to the left and i look here and i look there and i say to my bellabottom i say just hold on we're not going to continue because it's simplest torah and i'm not going to allow symbols torah we shouldn't have a minion it's not something that in my bloodstream i didn't come here to just say oh we couldn't make it and chloe you know dance yourself and do everything no and that's a you know if we had another example of being having a strong will hashem helps you because i had a very strong will to have a minion and all of a sudden i see someone walking on the road with a knapsack and like a baggy man like a straddler and i asked him if he's jewish and he says he's jewish you would never think he's jewish like ask him could you come here to help us for half an hour or an hour and we'll feed you we'll take care of you he said sure and he was number 10. because it was simplest tyra and you know we were diving and we had a schedule i couldn't really converse with him and and you know make you know what i'm saying it was just not the right venue at the time when we finished davening my plan was to invite him home and you know and have him part of the soda and everything else and he was gone and no tragedy i went running outside i couldn't see him nothing i had the feeling that this was amalah this was an elio anov who came to help us to make dominion but that's a feeling i'm not i'm not gonna you tell you i know i saw an angel i could just share the story and describe to you what happened because that's what happened that what happened happened so what it's almost as good as the other story the mechanic well the mechanic was a real person mechanical no no here well no the mechanic one he lived four downs doors down i know who he was you know here someone came in for half an hour and by the time i wanted to go to him he disappeared and that's it i never saw him again that's that's the difference but all i'm saying is that so the we talk about now we're gonna talk a little about for two minutes three minutes about angels and souls it's the concept the concept i want to talk about the concept of an angel is that given a mission and that's it just like this guy if he was an angel he dressed up as a baggy man and all that to help us make dominion he did his mission yoni and he goes back he goes back to whatever hashem wants of him he is limited he's an old mate he's standing in one place he can't move i give you this mission do this mission and go back on the shama is a mahalik when it's in the body it can do this and it can do that you can be most of the agave kodesh you can be most of the artists you can emotionally host it there's no limitations and it's a fantastic idea because as people and as yeden we must know that don't box yourself in to one one area that's it's a great mistake that some people make where they decide this is who i am and yes there is like emotion was go bad we keep going back to the guy who's rigid in davin's early and all that that's who he is but nevertheless break out a person must find ways to break out of their tendencies and routine and their box and the the summer camp and then that's the that's the novelty of the neshama that you can break out so when you see someone struggling in their you know they're stuck in a rut they're stuck in the same thing you have to encourage them encourage yourself break out how you're going to break out we have to find ways of breaking out sometimes it takes like the rebel rights and letters you you walk around the perimeter of a pool and you don't jump into the pool you're not going to know how to swim you have to just jump in you have to just jump into things too much calculation is an inhibitant to the jumping in process so on one hand to be a wild goo a wild goose and just jump in and not be calculated and do and things like that is is also wild it's touhou as we learned in last minutes chaos at the same time there is the jumping in and this is probably a question baron's gonna ask me how do you balance the two the katrila ripper mode over the top go for it jump in and at the same time pull back and be balanced and the answer bar is it's not an easy way of discerning and finding only you and your in only us and ourselves know when we're stuck when you feel you're stuck that's the time to jump in when you when you're not stuck then you do what's root what's the routine for you so for example if i feel i'm stuck i can't there are times i have writer's block and i cannot i i just not motivated to start writing and i really want to write you know so i'll try you know i'll do i'll think i'll go i'll do you you try and finally it helps you get to what your objective in this case in my case the writing another everyone their own so so so the the over the top and the neshama ability is finding ways to leave the the routine and this is the overall answer i remember when i came to bashemis one of the first things that moshe and i spoke about was that people could he has agave season shul people are like stuck in their in their in in their yiddish kite in a good way not in a bad way but they're not moving they're not growing the whole idea of yiddish guy is to grow and by the way our kids grandkids and the youth if they see us growing they're going to grow you know it's not enough to say and and you see this today you know with the courses people in the 50s and 60s are going on 70s going back to college going back to courses taking more courses right adult education stay fresh stay stay otherwise you become stale even if you're doing good things so this is the difference between on the summer that's in a body which has the ability and the drive to become to do to not be stuck to be a mahalak and not and not be boxed into one cave versus an angel of they're fiery they're in love with hashem but only in their field take that angel and put him into another field he is uninterested he's uninspired but you're the same angel that was in fire for hashem yeah but only in what i do you we've you right we've heard this one only what i do i i can't i what what in the other area no interest i'm a cold fish i'm uninspired the toyota wants of a yeet to be inspired in all aspects and we saw this by the river that he could he showed inspiration to the little children he saw his thrones inspiration to the adults he showed inspiration to rabbanim you know like all in different all different types of people different ages different um intra trusts there was a um i mean a person who was alive and fresh that's what the sharma is fresh whereas as angelic and holy they are compared to ancient souls the shamans in a body are considered earned this is a brief explanation between the concept of aimdem and mahalak and that's why in khabadi only you'll hear the expression are you a mahalik you'll say well of course i walk no what it means is are you really a mahalik are you really uh break breaking through breaking the barriers in in in in all aspects or are you just doing the same old thing and i'm going to tell you growing up with the rabbit so many years he put put this fire into his hasidah and i would say he put it into his hasida maybe in a way more than the previous generations because because because in europe with all the situations and the wars and the anti-semitism there was a limit how much you could do in a way you know the physical oppression stopped everyone we come to the free world territories road to america to all over the world and there ever you know takes over in 1950 51 and he goes over rockstar like we spoke about yesterday break out and he was talking to his own casino in the 50s who were used to you know still the settlement mentality you know do you know that they were hasidim who were scared to speak in public because maybe the kgb is listening to them they were walking around with the fear it was it was it was in big hasidim it was a real fear and you know those were still the days when the kgb had spies and america and and and russia were a cold war so you never know who's listening and ears rapping and and taping and recording you know some say that's the way it is today with the internet you know you can never know what's going on but the point being it took a long time to to get his own hasidim to to to break out and not have the fear so the first 10 years kind of as a leadership from 50 to 60 or so you know was dealing with them that's when he set up the shaykh you know people people like you know okay for ourselves we'll put on a shaker for ourselves but we should go and make a journal a magazine and a women's awareness is heard of in europe and portland and elita that you know women said i don't want to say who but uh someone who passed away recently an older khabad woman a very special woman so i once i told her once i was sitting at a shabbos uh my shabbos table and i said i wrote a book who's who in labavich women were chronicles the 39 women their lives my mother-in-law show them and other women where they came from brief biographies five to ten pages each or something like that anyway when she heard this she started to curse me out an 85 year old woman she she went right into me she says husba writing about women her husband was sitting next to her and he was so embarrassed and he said shh it's all right and i took it the right way but where was she coming from i understand where she was coming from she was very old-fashioned although she was born the old country but she came over as a young girl she basically was an american but she was very froome and and and and that mindset of europe stayed with her so as soon as she heard and she was alibabacher you would tell the barbecue now you would think that she got it what the rebel wanted was that women should have their own organization and they should this will encourage more women to to be through and to to do things for yiddish guide and everything else but in her mind you don't write a book for the public about women forget about pictures that actually would have slapped me i didn't have pictures in the book i put them put pictures in but you can imagine if she the same woman i happened to be sitting with her and her husband outside of seven seven they were already older very between eight eighty five ninety they were oh in the nineties and a husband a wife or a boyfriend a girlfriend i don't know walked by across 770 on a bench they were sitting and i was making conversation with them and she picked her head up and she saw a guy and a girl holding hands or walking together she flipped out she became so upset what's going on here so she had that tendency of you know stringency why am i saying this because because i understand where they're coming from at the same time there's i'm not justifying the guy and the girl or even the husband or wife in public holding hands and walking that's not the chabad approach it's not the really the right wing orthodox approach the modern orthodox world was more lenient than this we're not going to go into the discussion about that for another time but but you know you have to look beyond okay you're not happy about it sit and learn with them sick and schmooze invite them for coffee get to know them and then you elevate them to a higher experience of hashem well they'll realize in public they shouldn't do that rather than squashing them and putting them down and and be rating them you understand that's the difference and you always want something practical that's the difference between them and so you can be in a show you have to say two people don't show one person will scream no noise no speaking for sure and he's right you're not supposed to speak in the show the other person will go over and put his hand around him and maybe say that we'll talk later you know make him feel and believe me you'll gain so much more from that that the person will you'll be able to talk i always say not at the person but with the person you you'll find ducey you'll feel commonality between that's why we have issues because we're talking at each other why because everyone feels the other one you're telling me what to do and who are you you hypocrite and all that versus we're friends if we're friends we could talk about anything and everything and you know we understand each other's struggles and we understand that we have a taivor to speak lash and hara and to speak during shul and when else am i going to see you during the week you were all running around so we get together of shabbos and that's one of the beautiful things of coming to shul but there's appropriate time for the talking and not talking you know so so this idea of mahalhim of being a mahalik that the neshama the soul is able to break out includes this ability to not be boxed in in your thinking and in your in your rigidity but rather be not be an old mate i'm sorry the only experience of the malachim is the rigidity and the in being boxed in at the same time being a mahalak doesn't mean you know being half dressed and coming to shul and everything everything has tom vireya you know they say tom berea regarding taste and smell english you can't debate we all have our own taste but nevertheless the shul has rules and regulations you have to respect that okay have a great day yoni may your father have a fool shalema amen and you should be simple you don't look you're just tired i see mosha has been a little yawning you've been tired and why am i not tired at seven in the morning and i got up at uh probably 5 30. you know the secret is sleep apnea use a machine like i do i'm i'm since i put on that machine i'm so fresh yeah i'm telling you when i put on that machine i know i'm not wishing you know one shouldn't have to use the machine but from the day i put on the machines about 10 years now it was matrias amazing for me it was the resurrection of the dead i was falling asleep at the computer falling asleep as it got dark falling asleep at the wheel and feeling stomach all kinds of issues and i couldn't figure out what's going on the doctor says i think you have sleep apnea put put on the machine got the mask the next morning the next morning i felt like a million bucks i said to hashem you saved my life wow so i could you know i'm the big talker right you got hashem you don't have that so you're tired you're tired at two o'clock so get up and go for a walk or or just do some jogging and say you're dancing in your house and that will be good zeitgeist everyone take care thank you