Simcha #4 - Good Communication - Respecting Each Other - Details are Important

today what did that ever say here in this miami if this is page 116 117 he says in order to understand better this idea that there's a simultaneous coexistence of yira and simcha when you daven he gives two examples one from the sweetness of an apple how is it that an apple has sweetness or it's sourness how is it we know the vegetation comes because of what we call the power of vegetation the koa katsume right we just learned it in parishes a few weeks ago velvel if hashem didn't put the koyakatsu american the earth you could plant harvest crop and do whatever it is and you're not getting a plan you're not getting a result or a good result it comes from the kayaks within the earth in this mimer using a citing another madras in the mauryan he calls that the mazel okay so we're substituting here for the word that's more classical in jewish writing we're substituting it with the words and masala should be a very uh known word every one of us muslim told and like i've said many times what does muslim type mean in english we translate exactly but in english we don't translate a good flow congratulations well that's not really the meaning of mazel tov maltos as joining just said good flow because the word mazel comes from the word in the torah the noise it drips from lebanon you know the tree from the trees meaning muzzle noise limp there's a drip and a drip goes downward from above to down so when we say mazel tov we're actually saying may there be a flow from that's what mazel tov really really means okay in english we don't have a better word or be too long to use say like the way i just said it so we say congratulations yes moishe just took a quick question on that one thing i've always always wanted to know and i don't know why i never really looked into it when a person says to you mazato first thing gives you just like it's like you know they're wishing you what's the appropriate response what's the appropriate response thank you what do you want the appropriate response to be may you have may you also have a muscle total yeah sometimes i'm asking i'm asking because this is maybe this might be the first time that i'm ever hearing an explanation about the word mouse of the phrase of in this type of a riot right so i hope you know like you know you could say thank you you respond to people amen you respond to people like um tubeburry you know you can hear like you be read that's a bit so you you but if it's if that's what it means like you should have a good flow so yeah it makes sense yes thank you so so so but but also that's why i'm also asking did you say like a man like someone said to you you should have you know good muzzle i mean i'm asking you could say you could say a man yes it's fine the point is depending on the situation and the person if the person is a caylee and there's a few minutes to to explain thank you or main thank you very much and explain what mazel tov is definitely do so but but usually people are you know just very flippant and running and going and and once you know i'm saying everyone so we don't have that time but but but but the idea and the consciousness and imagine if you got up at a sim card they asked you to speak at a chevy brothers or a bris or a wedding and you would explain for five minutes or three minutes this model tov you'll have everyone in that room listening with with like this and it's not a difficult vert and it's an important word i'm curious yoni um did you uh know that it it means good flow from from our shira you knew that from before i'm just curious yeah i did come before i learned that uh probably 25 30 years ago yeah okay yeah but but so why am i saying this because here in the mimer the rebel introduces this concept that the source of the sweetness of an apple is the masala so let's now motion understand it based on what i told you about mazel before mazel means the flow the the spiritual flow hashem has a place within himself elvo that that that has a power of sweetness somehow within himself now sweetness is gosh it either tastes sour or tastes sweet so what do you mean god has sweetness and this question is an overall question in all of total what does it mean god's right hand of god's left hand and god's eyes and god's ears and god's nose and god's sweetness what does that mean so the the kabbalah jewish philosophy and even the gemara explained to us that it's a metaphor it's a metaphor to express a certain type of energy that god gives at that appropriate time so if we're talking about god's right hand we're talking about heset if we're talking about god's left hand we're talking about gevorah right so what is the masala that we're referring to here we're referring to some notion now i didn't say this yesterday but i'm introducing the word notion some idea of luchnius that has the same feeling as a sweet as sweetness when you taste something sweet you taste it in your palate something sour bitter in your palate so too god almighty there is a place within hashem that the flow from there is sweet and then there's a place from hashem that the flow from there is sour and bitter which we also need at times what are we saying here that the masala already [Music] allows itself the notion of sweetness once you have the notion of sweetness you can be sweet let me let me say it another way i want you to hear this if we if a teacher doesn't come to a place in himself or her or herself that students are important not just as recipients but even as he as he or she is a teacher in other words that a student brings out the best in the teacher that teacher will fail in teaching properly and i'm going to use an example for dr velveel we all go to doctors think about this which doctor do do you see more success in you usually the doctor that gives more room for your existence be it the doctor that talks to you more laughs at you more jokes with you more it has more time why because all of those things make the patient feel that the doctor acknowledges me as a person and he knows that he is a better doctor if i exist in his mind even before he tells me what to do and the same with the teacher and the same with the parent and you know what this is called covet respect we talk to we talk about respect you know what covet is covet is recognition of another within yourself even before the other benefits you or better said even if the other one doesn't benefit you or even if the other goes against you the raf the teacher the doctor the parent will be a better parent and more successful in education in educating and raising their children if they really honor and respect their child their teenager so those are my examples he doesn't use these examples but i see this as a possible explanation to what we're learning here about the sweetness of an apple existing in idea form already in the spiritual realm that's relegated for vegetation if the spiritual realm of record of vegetation measure would not have any idea any notion of sweetness you wouldn't be able to have sweetness in an apple because hashem wants the sweetness of an apple to go through the masala rookney the spiritual source and there's a reason for that and here's another issue to think about why why must we say and argue and position the way i just explained avrom why can't we say god wanted there to be sweetness to an apple so he made the apple sweet and where did the sweet listen and where did the sweetness of the apple begin not in a spiritual counterpart but in the physical apple so when boom straight from god to the apple why must we say that there's an intermediary stage where the notion of sweetness begins before i answer the question do we understand the question that i just asked you're innocent you learned hasidis do you well follow what i just said i i would did you did you ever hear that when you were in yeshiva yeah i understand what you said why why didn't you meet you could come down ask me if that there has to be a similarity in the spiritual world in order to relate to the physical spiritual um sweetness if you say it comes directly from myself [Music] it's too what too abstract i need to be able to relate to something very good very good you gave the right answer just to elaborate a moment of course god can do anything of course rashford wanted he can make an apple be sweet without having any notion of sweetness in his spiritual counterpart but then it would be superimposed on the apple we want that the the apple should be comfortable with its sweetness well let's say let's put it differently with the student with the with the patient and with the child we want ultimately that the child student the patient should feel as that they are contributing to the flow that they're getting from the doctor parent and teacher because then there's what johannes called our relationship and what i'm teaching you now and sharing with you is a very important rule for all of hasidis we have two buzz we have two buzz words the plural of gili revelation in english atmos is this essence and is the manifestation the condition the format we say that the world is created from god himself ex nilo bria yeshmiah 100 but at the same time god says and does and makes his essence flow through the the manifestation and conditions so that the way it trickles down is not in a way that it overwhelms creation but it's integrated with creation and creation relates to it and that's the same thing over here and the same is with the second muscle that he gives here the muscle of the goof and the nephesh the body and the soul we just said moshe this morning in brachus who does wonderous acts the only one of the wonder it's wondrous acts that god took a soul and put it into a body sp the ultimate of spirituality of the ultimate he put them together every morning how could that be one is physical and one is spiritual so we say in short sweet words two words [Music] and explains at great length in various discourses that the content the deeper content of the of the wonder of the wondrous act is not only that he put the two together like you put the uh you take a may asharam guy you put him on the battlefront and he doesn't know how to hold a gun it's like you know nuts you know i'm not i'm not making political statements first he has to be trained or whatever you know or right it doesn't make any sense it makes sense if you're going to train them and explain which i understand you're trying to do but anyway but what's the nakuda hashem wants that the goof and the nephesh should have a relationship and you know what he you and you know what he does not only does he put the two together it's like you know hot plot putting you know uh clay together with with something and forming something it makes no sense but hashem says i'm to make it sensible i'm going to actually make that the body feels the soul the soul feels the body and to have a relationship and once they meet each other they really want to be with each other for that to happen you need to have psychological emotions feelings conversations communication i always say by by shoving brochures with i'm asked to say a few words the famous vert god the mother says when hashem created it he created them offered to occur back to back he saw it wasn't good so he put him together face to face and that's the meaning of one of the shovel brokers right forget which broker now but one of the seven brokers indicates that hazal what's the meaning so i saw this in i think robert buchanowski's book one of the books a very nice word that i like back to back means no communication we're here we're here but we're really back to back we're living in the same house but maybe we live in the same bedroom but we have nothing in common face to faces we're talking we're communicating we're sharing we're trying to work it out the face-to-face relationship versus the back-to-back relationship the back to back leads to problems the face to face leads to good things yeah sometimes it's very hard to look into someone else's face you know you don't want to confront them it's very uncomfortable but that's the only way to healthy a healthy recovery and therapy that ebb says that the goof and the nephesh they were initially i've run back to back why because the soul is interested in soul the body's interested in body leave me alone soul i'm not interested in what you're interested in i want to go party i want to indulge the soul says no i want to learn i want a dolphin i want to bring that's it how we're going to get you guys together says hashem i'm going to make within each of you a place where you understand at least that there is something outside and different than you that makes sense and now i want to bring this all back to simcha and era because these were too much show him that he gives us and ostensibly i believe this is what he's saying he hasn't maybe he'll say it later but he hasn't said it here but i but it's important i think for this for the understanding and the flow of the mimer to say this for simcha to be realized and be healthy it must create a place of year within itself and for year to be healthy must create a place for simcoe within itself a person and we've had many conversations and now with shiitum over the years and i reflect back on some of those conversations a person is always high strung nervous doesn't find within himself a place of calmness serenity is a very difficult person to be around a person who's always jubilant and always happy and always constant and always dancing and always this it's good for a while but it's also not going to build as many bridges as possible why because you don't take them seriously each needs to understand that the other one complements them and that's what that ebba says here that therefore there's no contradiction between year and simcha and again i emphasize not one after the other simultaneously so the story that i told you of the parents of chernikov repaired and his friend siam yeshua imagine you see a fellow in shul at h kodesh or karabakh or wherever else and you see he's standing there and he's crying from one eye and he's smiling from the other eye right away you say this guy's a schizophrenic i mean make up your mind are you sad and tearful or you're happy and joyful so the penance was such a jew from one eye i mean this is the this is the story you know even if it didn't actually happen the message is a good one but i could see it happening with such a yid on one hand because i saw it with the rubber on one hand he's crying from one eye he's tearful and at the same time he's joyful because life is such that things come together right under the koopa you're so happy for your child it's the greatest moment of elation and we take a glass and we break it for the destruction of the basa amigdas i mean you you tell that to any normal person they'll say you're out of your mind it's not a time now to mourn and cry or a home you guys know that when you build a home a new house right you're supposed to leave one part unbuilt and ruined why to remember the destruction of the base amigdas we can't get away from that not as we're looking for negatives it's the wrong attitude it's the wrong explanation because the healthiest thing is to be in a constant balance between year and simcha so yes at the very moment of elation of a simcha i want at the same time to know and feel that the ultimate symptom is still not here which is mashiach so therefore i break a glass under the cuppa and i think if we train ourselves to to to to unders understand this and to live this way many things will fall into place where life that rocks us and throws us for a loop will be less intimidating less scary and will seem more simple in every aspect of life so yes when a parent gets ill or god forbid a child or god forbid yourself or there's an issue in pineso or this issue or that issue right look look look to those who not they didn't take it seriously they took very seriously but their jewishness and commitments didn't go out the window because what happened doesn't fit the script and the first the first one who had this was out of the first world e of job right he loses his children and you look at eve when you read and learn eve you see that he was plugged in because by him it began with a proper balanced mixture of simchen yiddah and that's the explanation to this chapter over here so the dukmals the examples that eva uses is from is from uh the sweetness of an apple in the in its source the masala and this body having a place in the soul those are two examples which in a way are like a little far into our you know what we're used to and that's why i gave you the examples of the doctor of the parent of the teacher what do you guys say about this now that we explained it a little a little more you know when we're going over the the line about the sweetness of the apple yes the from a rookie source so one of the things that comes to my mind is um the um somehow i don't know why but i made some sort of link between that and the respect that we would give certain physical objects you so let me give an example what i mean like in our house for a piece of clothing is worn out i always tell the children like i said to them you know don't don't put that piece of clothes into like a nice i don't know air pants or a shirt or a suit i don't know or a dresses or a dress or a dress obviously so i tell you know what we're not gonna put that you know if it's if it's not if it's not good enough let's say to go let's say to out to a gamak or we would want to donate something so i always tell you know put it don't just put it right in the garbage is it put it in a bag it's on you know treat it with respect and then and then you can dispose of it i i'm i'm this the only reason i'm raising this is because i never thought about it in this lesson before this idea of like where where is this that there's a spiritual source for the sweetness of of the fruit in other words it's it's not just that we it's not just an object that the colors probably created it's not just that it's that there's there's a rookie source wide spread like for example like we in our in our garden we have uh you know like a ramone and sometimes the ones that are really really red a bright red you know like that looked like the classic ramone usually when you open them up they're not always so sweet the ones that don't look so fancy on the outside then you open them up and they're very sweet so i guess when i'm i guess when i'm uh no you you're right you're identifying the concept of the spiritual source is significant to the actual physical item and and as he was speaking i i was uh you know triggered some thoughts as well um that that to hashem not only is the physical object that was created that's created important but the the details of the object are also important yeah yeah it's like i've run well someone will say like this velvet someone will say you're a from jew what more do you need what's the answer the answer is that the details are also important of course you know there's the three basics shabbos and kostras and and tarzan but that's like living in a dark home you're in the house imagine there's no light and there's no air because it's there's a there's a blackout it's a darkness it's no good what what's the problem what's the issue the issue is it's uncomfortable here when you have light and you have sweetness ah in your dish i want you to hear these words you like them because you know this it's a lift ke dira it's a illuminated lichtig a lichtedge a illuminated house and room i love velvet's office i see it on the screen i like the brightness there i don't know what he has there but it looks nice and bright to me i've always come home and my wife for some reason i know she doesn't open up the curtains whatever i say that it says says he had he he he loved light and i rightly opened up the curtains and the light you got to make it light i told you with the bubba rabbit oh the shoulder you want to succeed you need two things lots good lighting and a lot of swarm and that will attract people to your show people want to learn they want they want swarm yeah sometimes i go into a base of madrid and i'm looking for a safer it's not there but imagine if there's a major massive oats for them it's great i'll tell age kodish i remember they have an english section of books it was wonderful in fact i included some things i found there in my various books of mine i would have never known about it but i went i would go through the books i would take them out ah i found this write it down jot it down what page and then inserted it as a footnote or whatever right if you remember when i was giving the classes in halakhah i used rabbi zilberstein's swarm that are in the age kodish library that uh i forget he's in charge of the library used to be what's his name i forget his name rabbi smiles and i'm i'm those dos for him were a gold mine i can't find them here in brooklyn each safer was a each each thing was already sheer he he gives you the halachic issue the contemporary issue etc and you just you know you study it develop it and and and teach it ashool becomes beautified with all of this so what we're talking about is even a mitzvah right you could do a bare bones mitzvah but when you when you know who the sofa is and you ha and you see the writing and you like the writing and you buy nice parshias and it costs you a few extra dollars or more than a few extra dollars the mezuzah the the thrill in i know ashley out here from downtown brooklyn when he gets when he buys businesses for people he puts up with his he doesn't buy forty dollars and she buys a hundred dollars and he charges them and they pay it because they can and he says you need a beautiful mezuzah on your door why do you want to put up this you know a sec a kosher mezuzah i'm just saying there is a concept of beautifying the mitzvah i i've rum i don't know who one of you guys has then you mute yourself please there's noise the point is that the the details become important okay we will continue tomorrow everyone yes so in this what we're talking about now when we say right so you're talking also like in hanukkah when you say elected hanukkah yes the same idea same idea but here what i'm saying joining me is you're in a house and if it's dark i'm still in the house yeah but it's dark and dingy but when it's lifted it's bright the house is is illuminated so the details my point is the details is what makes a situation bright and illuminated and and and it's this is important in many issues of life it's not enough just to do it do it in a way that incorporates details so that it's bright and illuminated and people and yours see it and want that type of illumination because even if you didn't have that illumination and you have it but still it's dark it's bro it's not exciting and other there's healthy yiddle healthy fear and awe and healthy simcha right you need both together anyway we'll continue learning aside tomorrow i know we didn't today but it was important to clarify these issues have a great day everyone said bye bye bye thank you