Rosh HaShana 5785: Make your prayers meaningful - Story w Baltimore rabbi - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

so it's that's K dolphin's acronym put it on the calendar may this be the Year may this be the year of the Redemption from GH I don't know just it just came to me as as a beginning to talk here so the the story [Music] that P okay good anyway anyway mute yourself please so so what I want to begin with is a story I I might have told you this uh many years ago now the story has a kind of a negative ending but there's a positive lesson from it and the St is with an a a great great aunt of mine she was a Survivor um from Romania where our family comes from my My Father's Side paternal side and she came to and lived in B talking about in the beginning early 50s end of the 40s 50s and um they didn't have children she and her husband for a while quite a while my father started to learn in the laab Yesa lud in 1950 and as he became more knowledgeable of of whatab is in you know in the beginning when he was 12 and a half 13 when he came he just came to Yesa to learn he was a you know thank God that he had a place to go but as he started to learned 14 15 16 17 he became aware this and what type of it's not the that he grew up with that his father and ancestors were Vision so this was all a new world him and um he he adapted it very nicely and and my grandfather was very happy that his that his son is involved in something positive in 1950s in ER there wasn't what to eat and there wasn't what to do and it it was um it wasn't rosy as you probably all know I've read the history and heard from people it was very difficult n to you think it's difficult today it was very difficult there with with having a piece of bread on the table you know anyway so so um he went to his mashia his Mas was the famous his name was there's a book that came out about it both in Hebrew and in English and it's worth reading it's two volumes I think it he spoke a lot about daving and what daving means anyway so he he said mashia that he has this aunt and she they're childless with her husband then they would like to have a child so Masia said you know this is not my department for this you have to go to a a Reb who sees the a who's on that level write to the rebba a letter for your aunt and uncle so he did and the rebba answered my father the rebba in those days in the 50s answered in full letters you know it was um just the beginning of the Reb's kind of career his beginning as a Reba and uh he took a great interest and and had the time and it was the different culture in 1950s even a little bit in the 60s but in the 50s in particular he he sent boys who sent him letters full page letter you know later in my days if you got two three lines in a not in a what was called a settle a note where he would write on your letter he would write a a response very briefly on your net your letter that was called a settle a note right full page letters in my time were unheard of you know someone got a full page letter it was must have been a special reason anyway he got a letter and and um that EBA said that they should check their U they should learn relearn the laws of family Purity so um he told his aunt and uncle and they did that six uh several months went by and nothing's happening no no no no child no pregnancy nothing so he goes back to his mashpia and he says I listen to you mashia I wrote to the rebba the rebba answered me my aunt and uncle who they were very from I knew them I you know they were really you know up we say inish up very meticulous careful Jews who you know especially the Romanian Jews from bavina from where they came from they were in a way very simple and if a re or said something they did it without question it was it was as holy as God himself speaking to them really with a Simplicity you know not with a sophistication that was the the the culture in Moldavia and in in bavina that whole region that's that's where my paternal ancestors come from so they they did it and nothing so what do you think the Masia says he says write again a letter write another letter to the de and tell him exactly what you're telling me so my father listens and he writes another letter to the Reb and this time there's no response he doesn't get an answer and he generally when he wrote to the Reb my father got answers have numerous letters full letters of the Reb answered him on many on different issues throughout his his youth from going to the Army and dropping out of Yeshiva don't ask coming to America many issues that he he wrote what was going on in his life and and the took the time to to address it and explain it and give his advice but to this no answer the second time he goes back to Masia and he says now I'm really confused the first time the said they should relearn this time he doesn't answer at all he's like ignoring me like what's going on here the M explained he says listen I don't know you know I'm not a Reb but a re when he gives a to someone who has an issue a problem he sees the person who's writing to him or talking to him or communicating with him or thinking about him right that's that's the belief if you believe in that AB but that's what you believe he sees the soul he sees the he sees the spiritual the mystical that ever saw the first time you wrote which was last year r that there's a br in heaven for children it's it it's waiting in the depository of bras for your aunt and uncle so he told you to learn he told them to relearn hoping that would access and bring the BR down from the depository into real life having a child months went by for whatever reason it didn't happen there came the new rash the next year this year theba looked into heaven for these two people your aunt and uncle and he didn't see that there's a br for children in the depository he couldn't give you the BR this is what the Masia told me I remember this from childhood my father told me this story several times that's why like fresh in my mind now they never had children so it's like a it's it's not a happy ending it's it's not a it's not a nice you know but that's the and it's important to to deal with the MIT with the reality what's the reality if if if tech if if we consider this negative which I don't because it's from heaven but if you even if one will say h that's a negative story don't repeat the story what do the say Inus that the re they all go up and they see the Wolves walking on the harabas and they're all crying and is laughing it's AAR and then they say you has comforted and consoled us why and the gar uses the says if it's true in the negative that hasem was m is that if you don't do what you're supposed to you're going to have destruction and look at it here is the desolation of the harabas in the Bas on mikdash how much more so is it true in the positive and I use the same logic over here if it's the the story with the re and the negative of my aunt and uncle is true how much more so is it true the positive that when the new comes everyone's clock changes you hear that and and tomorrow night is ver so the fact that this year was a difficult year for Claus Ro beginning with October 7th and everything else and it's still in middle of this difficulty the clock's changing tomorrow night the next two days it's changing whether we like it or not it's changing IM it will change for a positive open revealed positive that's as far as claur is concerned then there is the individual a person has a body ache a person has this a person has that the person needs a br and this remember it's tomorrow night in the next two days and therefore there's a new relearn please take a few moments and relearn which will get to when we learn study it together chapter 14 the AL there tells us what takes place on Earth on high and on Earth on R so you're going to sh and this is the other point that I want to talk about today this little faing is this idea and is um it connects with what we began talking about um where you daving this year there's a lot of daving there's a lot of d a lot and you keeper basically it's an all day Affair okay you have a little time to eat a little time to sleep and the rest is to heal him and Dav to he him and daving or for some that learn D they sleep in da too okay daving is not just words daving is attachment the word is associated with the with the words in the mishna when you have earwar that's shattered and you need put them together what is the word that what is the word that the mishna uses which has the root words T which is the root words of what is prayer prayer is connecting attaching connecting yourself and bonding yourself with AES that is what is and and if you don't find that in you have not DED what do you mean I haven't DED I that's right technically you D so you're get a you're going to get a brownie point and it's important on your chart after 120 they'll count up everything this is traditional Judaism and you get a brownie point for daving with Dominion but in spirit you haven't DED and in spirit in spirit you have to read d practically not all to read because you're not all to sayem's name a second time CU it's considered in vain but in spirit you didn't connect so ding is about connection so as a as a as a introduction to R Ander but it's very important to to understand this a and to implement it and you know how you do that you don't rush to follow the k unless you're a gabby a gab who has to give out alas has to be ready even there a real I mean a real gab or a real you know Gaba who wants to DAV will I guess DAV to B slowly break give out the Alias because they're already holding much further and then come back the point is you know when a person is ready for this approach they can contact me and I'll guide them very specifically how to do it but right now it's it's not relevant I think that level of of specific rather the general idea this idea that we come to a and we must Rush our ding because the gab is holding the is absurd if you're in midddle of a of schma and you're pouring your heart out to you don't have to rush to you know why because you could say take of yourself with the same tears and the same feelings now again if you're not in this mode that I'm describing then you should say the take with the with with with with the congregation okay I don't want anyone to walk away or doin said I should just di on my own pace and you know disregard the minion I'm not saying that I'm saying that is personal and if you feel like you want to stop at a certain paragraph and you want to think about what you just said and you want to meditate on it and because of that the congregation the balila goes further it's all right do we really know who scores the the the touch down is it is it the guy who goes fast and says with the minion that scores the touchdown or is the person who maybe cries his heart out and talks to Hashem in in in Ash or wherever else and and and because of that he's delayed and ends up saying the son by himself maybe he scores the touchdown how do you know so the answer is look what does the say says that and this briser who was a l wasn't a says if when you start you don't know before who you're daving you haven't daved now again doesn't mean literally should read but take a look was he is writing a a a a ruling up somehow not a mystical right bris was was a brisker wasn't a but he says that and the re quotes it so in other words before you begin you have to know before who am I praying and asking to give me Health P Chua etc etc and if you can't say to yourself I'm talking to God Hashem in that first word in that little line before before you begin hasem if you can't identify with Hashem in the line of you're not ready to say you can only say if you if you identify with Hashem once you identify with God that you're standing before god wow I'm staying for hasem okay what do you want of me God you want me to open the lips open them for me my lips open up allow my lips to praise you to be to be to ask of you that's the that's a a short little not even meditation just a a feeling of of going into the amida and this is the type of feel that we should Endeavor on the and it was a r in Baltimore H used to live in Baltimore so this is a Baltimore story The R his name was Rabbi a axel RAB Axelrod came in 19 I think uh in Kaneka 1924 from Mar Ohio where his father was a shamish and a Gabi over there in a in a in a Sho and he wanted his son to come from Russia to to America to be here and he came and then he moved over they just built a new Sho called congregation I was in the Sho after the Sho was completely you know kind of destroyed inside it then it became a church someone bought it back aaber and they were renovating it and he asked me to come to see it and I wanted to see it cuz the freba wasn't that true in 1930 yes H yeah that's in the Fels Point area in Baltimore I think yes it's near John's hop John Hopkins it's not it's walking distance the John Hopkins hospital today it's being regentrification like many many areas that were you know not in good shape they became they're become expensive to live in anyway so so this R came there it was a new Sho at the time there was like four or five kabad in Baltimore like there was in Philadelphia and in Chicago and in New York you know each place at 4 five six these were all descendants from the and there were also ler ones there were ler ones it wasn't only you know this was common at the time the 1920s 30s 40s anyway then it all finished yes town with the mler p is buried in in in I guess Russia I think mosa was there it's either no weren't there anyway it's either Russia Ukraine Ukraine yeah was there Ukraine you were there yeah yeah okay so there so there was a sh boltim I believe I think I even saw the sign on the cemetery that they that they own there okay anyway so so this was a new sh they called it congregation after the third because some of the people that came over to Baltimore either they or the parents were because he had a tremendous amount of say he had 100,000 in Greater Russia in Ukraine white Russia Bia and um he was uh a big Lon a big and he was he didn't know English and when the fre came in 20 30 to visit Baltimore and the people there and everything they complained his board his members he says this the rabbi is the the the is they spoke to him in yish he's galic but only one problem he doesn't know English and our youth are not growing up in the they're growing up in Baltimore and we speak yish at home but you know what do we do and they really wanted like kind of a change of guard and the said just to have this person as your love and your kids should see him is is worth everything trust me because of what kind of ye he was he was a by so so um he came Kaneka right the following rash was his first rash the first night of rashash is like the most special night for daving and lengthy dinging and the first night of both and would spend time daving they say over parenthetically that when he came to America the first year the first of was 1940 and he daved you know in upstairs in in the little Sho they brought down and he daved there and he D for for about an hour and or longer and there were people who I knew who were there and they never saw such a thing these you know other people that weren't who were in CR Heights and he was sobbing and it was it was it was it was a a doing and this was already in middle of the Holocaust the beginning of the Holocaust 1940 right September October 1940 so that's the type of daving that the rabim of leich daved the first night and also daved much longer the first night they didn't rush and they they were was B and they they DED carefully slowly and they took time so this RAB Axel the Dominion gets up to Davin he's the rub of the Shool and he Davin like like he was Ted in he DS slowly and lonely and the people in the congregation you know who knew uh they knew about where they come from kab laich but they also you know being in America who remembers this he was an active an active R you know he was like he was like he was in his youth you know just he happened to be in Baltimore the whole Baltimore and what America didn't fathom him and he's just doing his thing he's ding at length and they're all waiting there he finishes finally they finish daving and they say everyone goes over to the R so the president the vice president go over and they say to the they say like this we saw that you were ding a very long time and we could see your face was red and you were thinking concentrating we never saw such a thing but we know why you did this it's because we're not paying you enough of a salary you came in December 24 it's now September 25 and your wages are not enough and you know what we're going to do rap if the yump we're doubling your salary we're giving you more money so don't worry it's not that bad he didn't answer them and there's another story that he did answer them when they brought him the check he tore the check up because they they said they doubled the salary when he brought him the check and he said listen I come from laage he said in laage we didn't have what to eat and we had Tor torn pants our whole life was serving Hashem learning and Ding and we have a Yahara like everyone else but we didn't have one Yahara the Yahara for money it didn't exist in in our culture and now you want to give me the TAA the Indulgence of money by doubling my salary absolutely not and he tore up the check and he gave it back to the Pres I told you that story once who would do that today find the one person anyway I'm telling you the story because it happened this is not above a myet this happened in Baltimore in that they if if you're ding too long and you're so intense and you're ding there's something wrong either you're not make enough money or God forbid there's illness or God forbid this or that has to be negative comes alone and says it doesn't have to be negative it can be very positive you're trying to connect you're trying to get you're trying to to let Hashem take over this is the the other nuda daving is not about me connecting to God it's about me surrendering to God letting Hashem letting God swallow me within him absorb me you see and this is one of of the reasons that many times we get kind of messed up in our davening and of course the next step is why did I I'm praying to God and I'm doing it doing everything that I'm supposed to be doing and it's not happening it's not fair no you know issue listen first of all we don't know what what hasem B we don't know God so don't don't play God but number two many times the problem is you didn't D to God you were thought you were in control and you're going to manipulate God or you're going to pull him this way or that way and you want him to answer you with health you want to answer him with wealth you want it to answer him with the end of the war and if it doesn't happen you're angry and upset or you don't you say it's all baloney that means you never submitted you never surrendered you always were in control that's not daving daving means give up give yourself away to the high cause let the higher cause control you oh when one identifies with this this in daving then the then there's a whole different experience and this is what we should be thinking about Kipper and this is why it takes time you ask yourself why Tak take an hour who who really is daving such a long time to DAV why he can't read Hebrew he doesn't know the meaning of the words he doesn't know how to even if he he sh he sheds a tear how many tears do you shed already the answer is there's so much stuff to unload a whole Year's worth of stuff were coming into to Sho tomorrow night he got bags full of excuse me garbage garbage and you have to unload all this garbage it takes a lot of time I don't want to surrender you know what I told you many times rash is two days yipper is one you would think yipper Yer should be two and rash one no cuz it's much harder to submit than to say I've sinned and forgive me your whole idea the whole idea of submit of saying Al and forgive me is penut compared to rashash which is two days to submit we don't want to give in we know better from the most simple thing in our life to the most sophisticated issue we know better and surely that we know better than God so when you come and you daving the first you know how means the first the Baseline Foundation is surrender ing it's very hard and that takes his Bon meditation contemplation reflection honesty and that takes time and that's why it ends up ding an hour I'm just choosing doesn't have to be an hour it can be 10 minutes you know don't you know what I'm saying don't put a clock this is the worst thing I'm going to put a clock to my daving and without I'll end with the other story there was a ye in kits he was from Moscow came over to to Brooklyn his name wasm Schneider Schneider is a tailor and I remember this ye with a long beard no Rabbi no great uh philosopher but I asked I never I asked who is this SCH Schneider the Schneider is you don't know wh schm Schneider is how can it be he is part of the furniture in 770 noid as he got older and older and older the the mind the scality on some level started to kick in that happens it shouldn't happen it's not a joke it's you know but and in the winter days out here in the east coast you all know it's whatever all over it's uh 4:00 is the 4 415 and in 770 the B saw him wearing Fillin just like I went into sh shabas for myv a week ago or two weeks ago and I saw someone sitting with TS and filling we were daving might I saw my own eyes I promise you I don't know I didn't no one said anything you know you know people who are on that plane if you if it's another option of a Reb or whatever you know anyway but the went over to and they said you know because they knew that he's losing it they said it's which means it's already dark outside you got to take your off so with all of his scality he turns to them and listen to what he says and he says to them [Applause] if we want D to the Sun or the moon you're all correct I got to take my f off you don't got to take the F off of course it's hierarchically wrong we know that but this man was a a this man you know in a scality what is he telling you in middle of his scality he's expressing the idea that who do you diving to a clock a sun a moon or you diving to God okay again the reason he ended up ding there is probably because of his finality but if he can say that in that state of being of mind there's a there's a kernel of truth to it and that's what I'm getting at that the whole idea of daving is not a clock if if you if your daving is based on a clock you really have to read Davin or at least the next day Davin differently let's say you don't have to read DAV Davin the next day differently and and and and this is the very important as we go into the sh Kipper and when you when you have even one of the feel you like you you you D this way you you'll be a you'll you'll be a different person you'll feel I'm just saying the benefits that come for yourself and your family is so is so um therapeutic cathartic refined whatever word you want to use spiritual holy so that's I just want wanted to share that I happened to speak about this in Yiddish yesterday I made a clip and someone sent me on the YouTube would you please give this she say the same thing in English and he's right so this is the English version of my yish clip you would like anyone would like to say anything bran any thought any question anything okay a help yeah that uh uh we should have moments if uh that where it feels like God has given ample time and maybe not even enough time to say everything we need to say okay and and and what do I do I don't end up daving with Dominion rash what I do is when I finish my I say all the p and I always do it every single year so I I say everything but I don't I don't end up saying it with Dominion now if that's not good to go for Hashem and because of that he's going to spank me so be it I'm ready I'm not scared because I know that if I could if I could D this way and if I could invest myself this way that's that's what God wants so again now some people will say okay so I'm going to get up you know 6 o' and start ding at 6 6:30 7 whatever so that by the time the amida comes I'll be with the and if you could do that you want to do that great and also don't forget like I tell you each year minimize your conversation doesn't mean you should be arrogant not to say shalom to someone if you have a guest to talk to them a commen but minimize as much as possible conversation that's not relevant that's not relevant and of course to say as much tillum as possible so between that and and needless to say also to make sure everyone in your building sometimes there people that can't get out they're shut in but sometimes there are people that don't don't appreciate yet going to sh and hear the Scher get someone to blow the Scher if you can't for them very very important last year I called up the B I'm going to call them again B NE today and I they sent me to someone a husband and wife over 100 years old in an apartment in a house three blocks from here that's where I did the the the the Outreach to blower I went to people survivors over 100 years old and I don't know who would have blown chaua for them you know so I didn't have to go you know walk an hour theab they walk an hour to a hospital a nursing home and to army bases and they go here there that is necessary galic but in your own backyard think about your own backyard you know you have families you have guests you you're involved in the Shool and all that so you can't right but do take time it's important to know take make your meals during the day not so elaborate I me to say eat quicker so you can get up and do a little help another Jew blow the Scher you know hear the bre it's very very important okay a good only good things yes who want to say something and uh we will resume M next Monday we have a pretty much a week of learning so next Monday um we will continue to get us okay and if you need anything I'm here let me know Z only Mia should come now the war should end with with with no more injuries to to any of our arm and and and worse and and should be an end to all of these enemies that they should stop bothering us and live in peace in their place and we'll live in our place and will bring Masia now take care eyes