Repulsion to Indulgences vs. Controlling Urges: Tzaddik vs. Benoni - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

learning Tanya Pedic cuff test 29 we're on page 36 in the Hebrew language we are about 10 lines from the bottom where there's a period after the first two words on the page it says basar Adam and afterwards is a period and we're at the words we're learning I'm going to start with as the teaching of Hillel the Elder and let me bring you up to date basically the balatanya this chapter starts discussing another issue that plagues a person who is an active servant of God you have to you have to put that in the framework we're talking here about militia someone who is a potential painting or a banani we're not talking about someone who is out in left field there's a different discussion for him here we're talking about someone who's domining and learning and refining himself and what happens as we as we began in chapter 26 what happens is that that there are outside interferences outside interferences Menasha have seemingly have little to do with you the individual why because you the individual is on the right path you and the individual is trying your best and all of a sudden there's an issue with with health an issue with livelihood initial with children and that was covered in third in chapter 26 then there is sadness where person becomes sad and has Melancholy and again I emphasize we're not talking here about clinical classical clinical depression although we could derive lessons from these chapters how to deal with those issues as well we're talking about someone who says listen I wasted so much time yesterday and I it went nowhere what a waste of time a friend of mine was talking to him he was waiting to get on a plane the plane was delayed so he's saying I'm just killing the time now when you when you reflect back and you say I was ready to go on the plane that isn't this time and I was ready to settle in and to do what I need to and uh because of the weather because of this or that the plane was delayed and I end up I ended up wasting time right so and it bothers you and it should bother you it should bother you you know more than when I sh more than what God wants of us to do he wants to see what direction we're going in the fact that something bothers us Hashem loves that the problem is when something doesn't bother us and we become lethargic that's a real big No-No that shows excuse my expression you don't give a damn you know what I'm saying it's like who cares who cares that's that's probably the worst one of the worst forms of of clip of negative energy of of of of bad energy okay what you would call bad energy that's bad energy good energy is that it bothers you so the answer in chapters 27 and 28 deals with uh averting the bad energy of sadness that's what we call it and serving Hashem with joy without simcha you can't it's it's not service of God service of God equals simcha it doesn't mean you have to jump and you have to clap you have to make somersaults there's time for that too but simply means an inner content where you you love doing this you love doing this it makes you happy doing this you know so this was the discussion until now then chapter 29 now treb addresses another very important stumbling block that blocks man that blocks the that challenges the servant of God and that is what we call Tim halev means a jaded heart a clogged heart a stuffed heart or in simple English I don't feel it I put on Twitter and I go to shear and I do gifts of DACA and I help my wife and I do this and I do that but at the end of the day I don't have a feeling a Feeling right and everyone knows where is the place and the time for to develop real feelings for hashems during The Happening is very very you know good in the sense that you say the words you even know the meaning of the words you come to me in a time and you answer all the brothers very nice but you don't feel you need you really haven't doubt you you have fulfilled your obligation but davening happening is the left Isaiah fightership it's not my it's not my novelty which what is considered Abram the the service of the heart Fila that's prayer and that's why I just want to mention this for short seconds coming and there's so many prayers and it's just prayers and prayers and prayers until it comes out of your ears it's brought in I believe as well it's better to say a little with kavana with intent and focus than to say much without you know what that means my [ __ ] that means that if that even if the the if if the shoe the congregation the the cousin they keep on going and you're left behind in in focusing on whatever you're reading that's fine if you have time later to make it up you do it and I'm talking from experience because that's the way all my life I don't pay attention at all to the cousin you know if I'm able to get up in the Sun and take him and say the Sun and take it I'll do that if I'm allowed to make it through Interruption of the time and if not I'll do it later this isn't a game here where I have to say the words because there hasn't saying the words it's it's not happening it's basically you're a robot on the on the other hand if you can start earlier that you're diving becoming a half an hour early to shoot so this way you don't have a morbid cavana and then and then you go along with the congregation do that but but don't forsake the cavanasatrilla because to touch the heart and for something to touch the heart you need to focus you know yeah once in a while you get an inspirational Chote okay that's an exception to the rule but you cannot uh we we as we go about our dovening we cannot rely on the inspirational joke that we will get that we'll get either we'll get it or we won't then guess what most times you don't get it okay so what are you to do avram you dominate your own pace and do not let anyone including the rabbi tell you otherwise because it says not like that okay it's says that yeah you should it's better to say a little kavana than lot without cavana and again I say afterwards what I do is I dominate my pace then when they sell the Alias of the shoe which can take them 15 minutes I catch up and if I don't catch up then I can catch up later three o'clock in the afternoon on my couch it doesn't say anywhere that you you must say those prayers together with the congregation it tells you that if you're with the congregation with the about feel I'm sorry with the with the minion then there is the response of the leader the our response you know cousin that whole system but what if you're not there you're diving at your pace and this is true every day and it's a true Shabbos but surely it's true on the Yamada Iran because it says in this what I'm telling you about the young the trailers because the the the the understood that there's so much that happened and you're gonna have a feeling I have to catch up I have to catch up so you're going to compromise on the quality of your darling and that's wrong William going back to what we're learning here and please share that message to your kids and grandkids and friends and uh you will get an argument by some and that's fine and just go on don't don't if you if maybe you could find it inside have the citation and just say why don't you look into section paragraph so and so and and go on don't don't waste time arguing unless someone's sincere they really want to understand explain and share with what we're discussing anyway so the out that happened chapter 29 deals with this issue the issue of a jaded heart and the outcome explained to us in the last year that we had that basically the reason why a person the average person has a jaded heart and doesn't feel and needs to develop a feeling for a shot and for for God is because we're abandoning we're potential pain in him we're not Sadiq him and by us who is our Essence in in as far as our Essence that's revealed outwardly in other words what what do we observe and what do we see that we live with never kiss the truth is that every Jew has in the shama and every Jew is pristine and every the soul is pristine and the Sham is pure and all that but the fact is what is our daily involvement in our daily activity into guess what it's eating and sleeping and pleasure and honor and a narcissism and everything else that the whole gamut of life brings that's the way the average person functions says in his Hebrew words three times he uses the same words on page 36 Lambertville he he Adam oxman he he is it what is it referring to when he says he he the never shabamus he he the nepheus Adam is man himself and as long as he he her other Mouse money what do you expect you expect feelings for God when he he or the maximum says Thou to that but that's the answer that's why you have a jaded heart what is the job our job is to get rid of that as he will explain as he's explained and we'll explain soon ways actual ways of rum of getting rid of a clogged heart and developing feelings so let's now go oh and and and conversely bites on deacon my Sadi Kim who are they who is the he he might not never shot bomb is godliness so the actual the actual Sadiq individual is governed and lives a Godly life and therefore now says let's look inside and as he will the Elder settlement to his students who were who were on a high level therefore they were his students when he went to eat or you know anybody would say I'm going to do a favor with the disgusting and the poor who goofy this is the altenebus words already there's some medrish this is interprets the midrash like the Ariza there's a simple interpretation which means it refers it's different than the way Dalton ever quotes here but it's quoting the arizo he's not quoting that result but this interpretation is also brought in the Ariza that Hillel was looking when he went to eat he says I am feeding my disgusting I am speeding my poor who is the disgusting and poor by Hillel his body by Hillel and Sadiq the body is considered like firing that's so that's why Hilo said I'm going to do it in other words hello and here we have our Hillel Hillel hazakin wasn't going to eat because he received nourishment from learning data from teaching the students so when he went to eat he addressed eating as disgusting meaning my body which is kind of disgusting and and I'm doing it a favor I'm giving it some food but I myself who I am don't need it and that's a fascinating insight that the outlet brings this explanation of the arizal telling us much that when you look at Sadiq you're looking someone who looks like us has the same nose the same eyes the same face but it's all together different why because by us food and everything else we're not doing a favor to the food the food's doing the favor to us why because we are already Bound by the food to begin with Hilo wasn't Bound by the food he was at Sonic and All Sadiq is not bound by the food so when they when they use some food they're doing they're doing the food a big favor let's go further with the fact that he gives its his body some foods he who asks me ain't no Iraq never surely kissed bilvard because he himself Hillel himself and anyone like Hillary is only he who asked me for he himself is only in Iraq is only never shall he kissed Levant Only The Godly soul the body what they are representing him in Ash is a very important point it's not as though Hilo didn't have a body it's not as though that sadiqam didn't engage in intimacy they engaged in intimacy and they hate but they're eating and their intimacy was godliness so that's without them adds with the following words absolutely it's it's The Godly Soul motion of the of the Sonic of Hilo that sustains and enlivens the body of the of the Sadiq Etc and he says why because that was that was in the left in the animalistic beautifying Souls was transformed and it was absorbed completely in the Holiness of God with Souls hello what does mamas mean in the actuality the tangibility in the physical flesh of the Sadiq it was it was elikus a famous story with the aftereb or the holy after guys heard of the Holy Optometry so he once comes and he says to his son tap me a top is the English word to touch me touch me so he touches them so he says what's Fieldstone he was from you know Poland what do you feel because you either style it what do you feel so just start the father you feel gift I feel body so you know what he sent them you know my son why you feel body the tops made me gift feels the gift you're touching me with a body you feel body as the verse make it happen in the summer you would feel the summer if you would touch me with soul you would feel so because I he wasn't you know just saying that wasn't bragging that he said he's saying I refined my body so much so that my physical hand it's a physical hand but it it it's it's physicality is a display of spirituality of godliness of national kiss ah you touch with you you you feel body cause you're a body and and the story is very very important Hillel because when we when we go towardsadiq if we are corpse and we are unrefined you're not going to see tadiq you'll see a nice man you'll see people congregating around him and you know there'll be all kinds of stuff and guess what and some people won't and the answer is yeah if you if you yourself are unrefined then it isn't necessarily that you're going to see refinement because your glasses are very very uh tinted with your own yes with your own natural promise so how do you expect to see never show the kiss if you're living with nothing so of course you know that that's the Aveda the Aveda when we when we go towardsadiq this is very important for everybody when we go towardsadiq we identify with oxidic we have to put on Sadiq like glasses and that's what downtown is saying here first he has to let us know a very clear distinction between Sadiq and banging him you got you have to know that off the bat if you don't know that off the bat then you can't go further in other words yes saki can look like us absolutely went to the bathroom right people go to the bathroom but the content of their excuse me bathroom is a whole different content it's Asha yasar it's realization of of God's creation and allowing you know things that don't shouldn't be in the body to go out etc etc let's go further since the very Core Essence again we mean the essence that's displayed is the god is the animal vilifying soul that comes from the negative side the Clipper Hamilton that's invested in the blood and in the in in the in in the um flesh hasn't been transformed to gold therefore for the third time on the page therefore it itself is man it is what is meant by a by obeying the knee right and even obeying your potential abandoning it's the clipper the McCain turn to next page release 72 top of the page the beginning is is far May Hashem from God hey well you see when you learn Tanya chapter 12 13 14 you say wow wow wow this baby in the eye I'll never be a baby like I told you that I had a shield with this doctor and when we got to chapter 12 or 13 he stopped coming remember I told you the story it was a very intelligent guy you know and he said I realized I'll never be a pain in this I'm wasting my time in this in this learning session little did he know because he didn't have the patience to wait to chapter 29 page 72 without that ever says on top of the page the pain is you tell this to anybody Tyra they'll flip out you know if they understand what a banging is a gargle a rap battles completely distant from God why look without the episodes foreign because the power of Desire within the animal Drive can also it prompted and pushed the right way and stimulated the right way desire forbidden matters and negative which are contrary to God could never trust the baby you can trust the topic why a product doesn't has already worked out he doesn't have enough for Japan that's what the Tanya teaches I'm saying everyone agrees but the balotanya believes the difference is that this individual has already worked out his issue he's not shyak for Tiger and we have a hard time understanding this because we're not solving that's the verb has to be on top of his game at all times and one slip we can desire a title and not just kind of of even eating a kosher chocolate ice cream time so Helen when you think about that then you ask yourself so who is the individual the answer is a potential about diver if it's a potential bug typer compared to what Sonic His beta there's the ultimate distance between the two this individual is and this individual is now go figure go figure it out go figure it out have you found a person like this do you understand before you find I have or haven't before you say I have what I haven't you have to understand this issue so well and then from that perspective you start identifying if it's relevant the truth is it's not relevant because it's a soul calling one person gravitate gravitates this Sadiq another one to this Sadiq but our belief is that the sadiqib are individuals according to the balotanya who have already refined the nephews and they're not shy of the title and that's why this individual so what we have here is like this that without the never says in 12 13 and 14 about Abandoned and you say wow I'll never be abandoning over here the secret is out in chapter 29 and what's the what's the secret the governor the secret is that even abandon me is so what's the difference and this is important in other words what's the difference between someone who learned all his years in Yeshiva someone who didn't and was in college with everything else that goes along with it the answer is did they do this did they do do that did they do this but in essence they're both balitive or you'll say well eating a cheeseburger is so much worse than restarting having a a tiger for a baseball game oh really same type of okay this is forbidden this is permissible but if you if you want to look about the bit will tell you're out supposed to learn every moment and you're going to waste time with sports it's it's bit potato it's a violation of a derison no but it doesn't it's very good milk and meat I'd find this they sued him and three times the Titleist right those those are that's all the the surroundings the trappings the icing on the cake the cake itself is the is the is the breaking of a relationship between you and God and that relationship is equal in in wasting time with sports so so so don't don't you know get alarmed and don't say ah I was so much worse not and according to I'm going to learn in the next chapter that Deb is going to take it even one step further and really turn the tables over on us we're just gonna say that the person who who the from me is worse than about children without using those words I'm paraphrasing because you know better and they didn't know better and you still wasted your time so who's worse you were him you Yeshiva boy because you knew better and nevertheless you gave into your typo he didn't know better so what do you want that's we're going to leave that for chapter 30. but here in chapter 29 this these little two lines on top of these few lines here really gives us the answer to to this um this this kind again this who who left the sheer if you would have learned what it says here and and thought about it then it's trying that then then in other words then if if if the average person has to protect sorry if the pain in the is just as distant from God as the Russia and yet the birth is that each one can do chuva so therefore you can do two for two and that's what we'll learn in Tanya how to do and how to how to improve ourselves and Who We Are let's continue few words ahead the question be coming from that but it seems like um that we're saying is the difference between abandoned knee and the and it's the Sadiq has a certain repulsion to Tiger uh and aspects of the animal so so what I wanted to ask it is that repulsion a function of the uh the transformation of the nephesh Bahamas into the nephilicus yes yes but I I but I don't know Hillary what do you mean when you when you just said the transformation of Shabbat what do you mean by that then I'll be able to answer your question whether you're right or wrong yeah is it a topic is Nick has heard and and transformed it into uh like the right side of the heart the anaphase is the messages or the thoughts and the impulses that cover on the left side he's transformed so that it's like it's hard is all right-sided so so why is there repulsion the word he's repulsed why well why is it repulsion why is the tadic repulse yes I guess because it's like it's now it's foreign to him it's like uh no no you you missed one point what you were saying you were on the right trajectory but this is important the reason there's repulsion is because he transformed the passion that he had for taiva for God so in other words in other words he keeps his passion but it's directed in the right way so before he had passions you understand that's why repulsion comes only from a that you're so in love with God and you hate so much this we learned to serve in chapter 10 when he talks about Assad they could go back and when you have a chance to look at it over there you'll see he he uses two things he says he has completely love for God and a Cinepolis and complete hatred complete repulsion in other words because he has this very strong title for God therefore anything that's not God he hates so so to speak uh it's as if to say um this is the energy that could bring you to to God and uh you're using it I'm using it for ice cream you know you're using it for you know forever and and that's the but that's the level that the topic reaches so once he reaches once he reaches that then he doesn't he doesn't any longer have the TiVo for the ice cream whereas the banyani always has the tiger for the ice cream there's not one day in abating his life we're going to see soon in a bracket even when he died because he has that inspiration and he's doing what the United friends were doing I love that video from from sneakers you know flying high and he grabs the rabbi by the shoulders and he says you start dancing he doesn't say that but you know that's great but doesn't get mean you're exotic it means right now you're you're moving the energy of the of whatever you're into into a holy thing which is great but you but that's but then you revert back to who you are the topic doesn't revert back there's nothing to revert back to that's the point he has transformed it it's no longer Bahamas and because he's he because he's done that therefore he has that repulsion I just want to make that clear because you brought up a good point let's continue and he says although the pain and he has a potential a desire to clip yes myself sorry I just have to sign off I'm sorry okay what time is it oh I didn't know okay good we're all signing off for Katie tomorrow everyone take care bye bye