Rebbe's Advice for successful date explains blessings of Shema - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

age 32 where learning Panic at Bays chapter 12 and Tanya and we're about seven lines down from the beginning the last word on the line which starts with the village and yesterday we we learned these uh this famous line of the altered but that the State of Mind of abandon he is he never did a sin and he never will do a sin and we spoke a lot about it so we will continue therefore this individual called obeying is not called we don't place the name of wicked of Russia upon him even for just one hour and one minute call yamuff all of his days and but again could he have been a Russia before absolutely could it be in Russia tomorrow absolutely but the way he is now if he were to remain this way you would say this is a pain in the knee and you would never apply the name Russia to him even for just one moment ah so that's the case what makes him different than exotic says where he starts however however the reason he's not exotic because the very Core Essence of the necessary kiss Shaheen which refers to the ten levels that does the 10 levels Lila Han levadon Katana they do not have they don't have the only jurisdiction and dominion over the the small City that means the body they are not the only player in town Kim when are they the only player in Serbia name at certain times when Kimani for example at the time when you're saying we are informed here in the name of Kabbalah that during the time of Krishna and trilogram it's something called the time of superior supernal supernal intellect lamayla in heaven in in in in in God's heaven in God's uh you know world it's a time when there's extra Heavenly uh intellect well I'll explain a moment and therefore the gamla Mata so too below when we say Shema when every one of us said this morning and David it is the appropriate time it's the right time the whole of them for every human being when he doubles this morning at that time he binds his wisdom understanding and knowledge Allah Hashem to God the Hamid dietary to delve deeply into God big deal to delve deeply into Understanding God's greatness and awesomeness and through the intellectual understanding on a very high level of God eluated it awakens and so I have of the love could each be ace like a burning fire but Allah your money in the right Pentacles I believe you have the person's heart and therefore the person the dust the boy he wants to grab God he wants to cleave to God became a Mateo Mr cell sustaining title and keeping tato Mistress Me Ava not from Europe but from Love in other words when you're turned on intellectually and you understand with your cup how this is awesome God is awesome and God is great and and and and anything like that you you you you you love him you want him that's what he says here when does that take place when does that take place specifically during Shema and monastery and he adds one more line to selling and I'm a voicemail this is the concept explained regarding Shema The Horizon which was biblical Uber and the blessings preceding Shema and so for now the preceding blessings a blessing after which are only rabbinic nevertheless they are a preparation even though they're only rabbinic but the purpose of the preceding blessing and blessings plural and the blessing after Israel is to to sustain their the the the Shema whatever you you're supposed to accomplishment it needs kind of support it's like the custom going to the hopa needs to have an interfere someone to carry him because he's he's his feet are trembling is going under the hoop he's getting married he's leaving the state of being single and independent and all of a sudden he has to answer to a wife and all of that so he might want to just run away okay so you have someone who holds them under called the interfere Captain hookah and stay there and I actually saw it once in a hopper where hustle wanted to run away I saw it I was there there was a good interfering a good Rabbi and and they spoke to him in front of my eyes and he stayed you know some call it a panic attack whatever I'm not going into all that whatever whatever the cause is but the point is here you are at Shema you think Shema such a simple thing on one hand yeah I love God but you really want to be with God you know if you're if it's like insert you want to live in the Boston arabi's house you considered a Masada are you ready and I'm sure you you but they would say when will be the time when the rebel will take his his face off me and not see my excuse me piggish face in Hebrew sleeping exactly okay but the point is that when you talk about an intimate relationship coming from with Hashem during Krishna the potential for such and during you need the breakfast from Krishna before and the brother after to kind of keep you there and and and hey it's good it's good don't worry don't get scared I remember when the rebels giving out dollars in the 80s the 70s he gave out dollars to US we were called tonkistan we would go on the Mitzvah mobiles out to Manhattan into Brooklyn and and and and and the red bird coined the phrase that these are tanks against assimilation to fight the assimilation of the Jewish people to stop assimilation so he used the frey tanks so we the ones who went on the tanks to put on thrilling and give out paraphernalia and talk to you about either Skype we will call tankis tankisten the tank is really thank you so that was in the 70s so the red by the end of many fabrangians during the week he would give out dollars to distribute to people for sadaka and who would he give it to he couldn't give it to everyone will take hours he he said he's giving it to the tongue kissed into US tankers since we're taking a lead role in in this Outreach effort and we will be the schluchim to to distribute the dollars to everyone else that was in the 1970s in Bal Hashem I married at that and I have quite a few dollars from that time still the 80s during the fabrangians he started you started you know giving out dollars then when as he was getting older it and you know it was slowing down outwardly you could see yeah I was slowing down a little bit so there was a big debate should you go to get a dollar from the red bus or do not another from 1986 to 1992 he those uh six years right he gave out dollars every Sunday so there was a debate amongst the hasidim should you push yourself every single week to get a dollar I got a dollar last week I live in borrow background it's Flatbush it's a it's a car ride it's Sunday there's no traffic you can park and and get in and okay you wait a little bit you get your dollar so why should I make the rubber you know stand on his feet more and things like that and there's always a debate and some of the casino felt why do you want to show your dirty face to the record every single week other has said them argued no if you're not if if you're not gonna show him your dirty face you know spiritually speaking who else are you going to show it to your wife only at Sadi karega can can help you get out of your rut so yes you unfortunately you're coming there with you know you're not you know you've done this you've done that you need Improvement in this area in that area so you go to that Sadiq asking to give you assistance to schlep you out of your of your of your stuff and that was always the debate why am I saying this I'm saying this over because we're learning here about the British Krishna being necessary for the experience of Shema you have to ask yourself a question every day is domination why do we need breakfast the answer is but simply not the way it says here and Tanya why don't we speak about the Angels because the angels are our spiritual forefathers so we say look at the way the Angels serve God one group of angels bows to God one group of angels screams one group of Angels in other words they all impacted in different ways now they're angels and they are so impacted by Hashem with such awe we who are souls the shamas and souls are greater than angels and Hashem is greater than a malach because limited one one Mission at a time that's why the model who came to turn over sudaim couldn't do this another mission at the same time sorry chap this is my job God says you're limited if I give you a job to turn over sedon you cannot save light save our room save light sorry right you can't that's another I have to send another messenger foreign can do two missions at one time at one time I'll ask how is it possible right and it's a good question the answer is because you're in the show and the shama's League rule is infinite we're talking about compared to compared to an angel an angel is finite compared to an IM so as great as angels are we speak about the malahim and people put on their pins from for angels and all that stuff you should know it's all Limited and what does it saying to Holy day God took us out of Egypt he alone why what's wrong with sending a messenger because a messenger is limited so when we say when we say the blessings of Krishna and the morning we're saying that although Angel is limited but look at how an angel is so committed to Hashem is so impacted burning up for God screaming for God moving from God whatever being silent for God whatever the other is the services so that's an angel we who are davening in the morning that we have in the summer how much more so we should be inspired that's the simple reason for saying because Krishna the alternator says another point that although that's true that's that's true that smile in a way needs Krishna in other words the simple interpretation of the blessings of Krishna it doesn't equal that the reason you say the blessings of Christmas needs it no smart doesn't need a Shema is independent as well why because if not your love for God would be limited you know too much love is unhealthy I know I I know that sounds like uh yeah there has to be just for a second and aside the whole idea of abstinence for the two-week period through the menstrual period is in my humble opinion I would think you guys understand this as well is the greatest is the greatest psychology relax take it easy take a break too much of too much of good is no good you need a break and it's fine and the same tools in the relationship a husband a wife you need sometimes a break and it doesn't mean you don't love your wife but she doesn't love you and then you need a break and with kids it's not week too you need to give people space so here we are every morning saying shmap and we're supposed to say I'm gonna give myself think about God's unity and then be your hosta the objective is for love will have to you shall love a commandment that's a very very it's intense it's very intense so one needs the blessings before and after to support and keep that drive going that's what the outlets do here it doesn't say it clearly but he alludes to it in these few lines let's go back to the text and during that time during Shema the bed was in the left ventricle cover of a buffalo tape is subjugated and unknown to the good have especially money which extends itself into the right ventricle mechabad Chev coming from the wisdom the Chabad within the mind that's bound with the greatness of God so just for a moment because the 10 attributes of every person's nishama that has tools and instruments and and faculties the word is faculties Chabad is the the the the part of the faculties that identify with God's greatness do the same self through meditation so so if someone says I experienced God through through other that's a certain subjective God which can be experienced but it's a subjective one when you remove yourself from the subjective self and you allow the mind and even though it's your mind to to form the relationship then it's more objective it's it the love then will be more com more correct because the mind tells you is this good or not and I'll prove to you why it is good or not and therefore this should be done this shouldn't be done so then when that filters into the heart and it and it gives you a feeling the feeling is less objective and more objective and hence more of a correct love so if if someone just goes with love towards whatever they want to do and it happens to be unhealthy the love element alone could lead to that mistake and and that situation whereas if it's Guided by being a Das it's less subjective and more objective yes my just maybe give us an example the Practical example with the concept he just said well an infatuation a guy and a girl there you know they go into a relationship because one is infatuated with the other and they develop this emotional strain and and and can be disastrous because it you know there wasn't and and okay even if we don't speak about an infatuation but this idea of practically invading today especially for the young people that are dating and meeting people there needs to be a distance that's why the whole idea of the gear they make this whole issue of course again the Chabad approaches of course but not because it says a girl we know you know how to touch her that's not the point it's unhealthy for you psychologically to begin your relationship through touching the girl because then you're really emotionally bound you're excuse the expression you're in bed already so what's the difference it's a matter of time it goes from touching to kissing to hugging to kissing and standing up in bed no you don't need and you don't even know if you want to be with her the rest of your life so so many negia is of course luckily it's forbidden and all that man I'm not talking about that we're talking about the idea that the it it it it it it it it causes the emotions to overtake the Mind whereas my shirt if you date and you meet and you and you and you're distant you stay back and you have to do things to create that distance because it's very easy if you like a guy or a girl or you like a girl and all that it's very easy to allow your emotions to flow even without alcohol then as you develop so so so the first few times or more in the first few times whatever it takes depending on the people they use their cup they use their mind and they hold back and they do things to hold back I I'm I'll give you you asked for a concrete example I'll just give you you know I'm a man with a white beard today but looking back for um 45 years or whatever I was dating and going out I remember so when I had a car so it had a car the question was okay I'm driving and and the girls next to me you know so when I'm driving I'm concentrating on the road what if I'm in a taxi nope so the back is one seat there's a girl and a guy you know these were issues that I thought about not not that there was anything forbidden but I I didn't want to begin my relationship with that emotional charge right away I want to begin it with the cup the head this way you're able to discern once once you you understand the situation and you come to a conclusion that this is the right situation for you then you need to feel it in the heart and like the rabbit told me if the three dates I met my wife I wrote to the rebound I said I have I met someone very nice and it's a good but I don't feel any different than hanging out with my boyfriends and I was told that when you're going to get married you're supposed to feel different about you understand I never met a girl before I never I never dated a woman my first time that I met a woman in a date situation so I asked the rep what should I do you know the rabbit told me first of all did I answered you have you like that he took the time to answer this this young man zero bucker 770 guy you know who's elsewhere learning cities and davening and hang out with Abdul Khan and and doing them and the Bible gets a letter from him and he says I'll I'll have a little mercy on you I'll give you guidance young man young husband and the rep and the rapper said to me continue going out the episode means to interest yourself what did I understand for that first of all I understood right away that basically the rebel wants me to marry this girl okay but I don't have yet those additional feelings that I'm with a girl versus with my guys when we hang out when we fabric together so the represent the Hampshire go out again and go out another time and that should evoke it and guess what it evoked it a little bit I didn't go in with heart palpitations you know I'm in love and things like that no I didn't Hashem and everything was fine I'm just saying first person you dated the first person yes the first person because I was focused I had already a job waiting for me Marine County to be the Chabad rabbi I had a job when I was out there in 1983 in the summer Rabbi Langer of Berkeley was talking to Rabbi schwartzler Schwartz of Westwood of UCLA and he said you know there's a group of people that would like to start a Chabad shul in the Chabad house and they need the rabbi so so he said I happened to walk in to the office the schlemish Watcher's office 741 Gailey in UCLA where the first Cabanas was when he was talking to Langer so I remember like today he took the they took the receiver away from his head from his ear and we knew each other he says dolphin you want to go help some Jews and I said sure so he says Winder I got someone for you this was to to to lead a Rosh Hashanah and you know keep a service for them he says Wagner don't worry I just found you a guy so I said shlima where am I going he says I'll tell you where to go you're up in the northern California somewhere because we were in L.A these it's exactly what happened and the rest is history I went there took a younger Booker as a kind of Canter I played Rabbi he played Canter and we had a wonderful time and then he asked me to come back so so I said to them I'll come back I like you guys you guys like me and you know but I have no problem I'm not married I'm not coming here as a single guy it ain't you know it doesn't work that way I need a wife so they said yeah so why don't you go back and get married I said fine but I also need someone to support us I don't you know we're coming out this they said fine we are going to raise funds enough for you guys to come and rent the house and have a place to dive in and do exit and you will take care of that and you take care of finding a wife that's the way that's exactly I'm not telling you mice is and that's how we ended up there but all I'm single is I I remember the conversation I was talking from the pay phone in her daughter which is on Eastern park with your 770. it's about two of the yeshivas I used to learn this because it was quiet and I used to have you been able to learn quietly over there and I remember talking to them and making this condition you you put together some funds and I'm gonna go find a wife so when I came to my wife I said look and I sent me right from the beginning if you don't want to go on sleep because even before we met they said I have nothing to meet you I mean I know exactly what I need to do and if you're willing to go with me to California as as you know to do the rabbit's work we can we could talk and she said fine and I tell this to my my kids and my girls and others they look at me like I I've come for the Moon today they look at my tablet what do you mean is this a sales job is this a business well it worked for me it worked 40 years ago why can't it work if you know exactly what you need to do now be clear if you go into something you're not clear you're mixed up then then it's about a gun so let's go back so the rabbit told me in continue interestingness interest yourself mean to say is you already have a position you know what you need to do now you need to develop some feelings so work on that and I did we went out so then instead of three hours six hours I remember exactly where we went and I remember the conversations and I I I used the rebels message to me to to develop that and you know I think and it was and I think it was accomplished it wasn't easy but it was accomplished because I stayed focused to his words so my job was lihasanian to interest now interest isn't a one-way job if I introduced myself in her and she does teach yourself with me it ain't going anywhere but all I'm saying is that the copy what we're learning and Tanya here it has to begin with a Chabad with a distance with a with a relaxed think you know again overthinking too much thinking is is the rep is saying no at the end of the day you have to have a feeling in the heart some feeling you don't have to have the heart palpitations of love but you're with a with a woman who's going to be your wife not just being with a guy with a you know in the sense of your friends it needs support what's the support the intellectualism that precedes the kishma which which which is through the bishasma I think that's a very important point that we need to add as we meditate to think about David when we dive in that when we talk about the angels and sometimes you say why am I talking about angels who cares about angels what does that have to do with me the answer is the whole avoid of angels is to to to to to to show us that sometimes they're in love of God sometimes they burn for God sometimes they shackle for God in other words and why because sometimes they're meditating how God is close sometimes they're meditating how God is awesome so depending on the feelings of meditation that's the way they feel and that's the ways one group burns up for him another group is silent another group is verashed through Khalil but that all comes as a result of the Seiko the meditation any questions okay so but I I had a tangential comment when you were mentioning the tank system yeah but I was at a bar mitzvah once the friends of ours who are Lubavitch and somehow somebody was speaking about sivas Hashem and there was a question when the Reddit started see what's Hashem somebody said you know it's so militaristic and you know it's it's we want to encourage peace in the world why why are you giving it this military-like flavor yeah and the rabbit said in this generation there's no respect for authority and he wanted children to understand that there's a chain of authority that people that children need to grow and adults need to understand that there's Authority and that in a military structure you know you have you had sergeants and you lieutenants and you have generals all the way up the line and it was very um uh very uh thought out and there was a reason why he wanted to call it civil Hashem yes I thought it was a very beautiful and forward-thinking a very subtle nuance speaking about it then there were private letters I think it came from the Federation the New Jersey Federation you know who were were looking to understand I think that they were one of the maybe the other groups but um that explained this whole idea of the tongue kissed it and the chip is Hashem which by the way is two separate times the tankista started in the mid 70s 74-75 Hashem started in 1980 but the letters that you're referring to is the the ship is Hashem what I'm referring to is when the rabbit started the tanks I remember like now he spoke about this whole fighting assimilation and why he's using um images of tanks and Military he spoke about it then as well by the fabrina's Hebrew I hope we understood today's year and it'll help us in our dabbing tomorrow morning in our marriages and our kids and grandkids marriages I think we could we could we could use I'm sharing what the rabbit told me that it did well zeitgeism have a great day everyone Shalom bye take care