Practical Chasidus w R' Chaim Dalfin - Mai Mevoreich 1946 #2

it's been of what you did during the day and when you realize that in this area that area you didn't do proper it really bothers you and you do true for but it's a frustrated it's an avoider that's bitter and marinos and when you when you work on that the night before the morning when you get up and you prepare yourself for that bidding you'll be in the mode of clave the drafts of yira of or yoke the Cibola so that's the ugly the couple say that's their vote before darvany governing itself has to be illuminated bright and shiny and happy and you know a positive so this is this is what we were discussing about yesterday and from there in that in the ice both in the on page 51 15 he spoke about three different types of Arva loving a sham one is Nava that is basically you realize how a sham is cooked close to you by giving you your needs so you reciprocate so that's a level of love but it's kind of tit-for-tat what do you do for me and I do for you a higher level he brings chapter 46 of target come I'm a puddle upon him just as the reflection of one's face when when one passes water is the face itself so to the bond the relation between arc of this borrow and the hidden and the ye'd is an inherent bond and an inherited so that so that's a higher that's not what what did you do for me and I and I did I do for you that's very kind of selfish you know not we don't mean you know in that course sense but even a wider sense is still relatively a selfish love the higher level of paid at member of and Tonya chapter 46 and finally quotes is more sophisticated more more removed from the selfishness but nevertheless it's still you know a reflection in other words there is an association between the lover and the loved one so yes it's not you know I do this for you because you did it for me that no but we're in a relationship so in other words we owe each other something you know that so as as sophisticated as it is and and and non selfish nevertheless attention it hinges upon selfishness it touches upon selfishness as an association the word of Hebrews astride shyness Shia it shy of two to the the love of the you know what you do for me and I do for you finally there is the genuine pure love which is just for Hashem himself no strings attached whatsoever I gave you a muscle that's not brought here right now the minor but this brought elsewhere for cities mm Allah says I love your sham and he says Kira cell okay I'm Leto so there is three things does hello Kim God there is carousel Oh Kim the closest of God and then there is Leto is good it is it's good for me Leto was very selfish you know what do I get out of it what do I get out of the relationship but with God am i benefiting well that's that's basic you know then there is something more sophisticated less selfish which is the closeness of God even if I don't get anything out of it even if there's no Leto it's not good for me I can't say how it's good for me nevertheless the aura and environment of Kira of of God's presence is is good is it you know it's good so that's less selfish and more genuine nevertheless it's not pure God it's already that when God is Kuro then there is hello kid so that's what governmental says give us hello Kim Leto so again regularly we interpret the verse as the closest mm Allah says fact that you're close to me Hashem is good for me that's the way we read it the way Rashi comments see this says it's it's that's true but it's much deeper that here governor Melek was really meditating on three different aspects of his relationship with Hashem there is the basic aspect that's good for me there is the higher level that it's good because God is close and finally I don't think about closeness I think about God and the truth is that's that's the healthiest type of relationship because any type of strings that are attached to a relationship ultimately it's it's selfishness ultimate is there's a reason for it and if there's a reason a reason can cease to be even because someone else has a better reason or someone else refutes the reason or you've lost touch for the reason that's why just parenthetically those people who say they that there's one of you was a very basic you know mundane example that you're here on the street and tell you how erroneous it is people say oh I'm 40 50 60 I'm not a love anymore with my wife I fell out of love I want to go find another woman it I'm not talking about how how how inappropriate that is Jewishly but talking about even conceptually philosophically exactly exactly that's exactly what essentially it shows that to begin with to begin with you're married here for a reason so now you got bored with your wife or she got bored with you or someone came and said that this is not you know whatever so it's all reasons and guess what guess what sometimes the reasons make sense but there is the story with the semeth ethic and a faucet that I always repeat because it's so important and sometimes we don't want to hear the story but it's important to know the story there was a faucet exam I said that his name was Roger box smooth read about him and thus it was the previous rep it was a he was one of the previous rappers teachers when he was a young boy he went back to the Semak said that in the late 1850s or so he was first to miss not get than it became a hoss it's the whole story he brought the previous rebel rights his entire history how he became husband anyway so he was um he was diverting a shul shortly after you know after he married and he had his powers over said you know one of the signs of Allah by virtue across it is the tallest is over the head fully when you dolphin not half way you know but when you get involved intensely in diving you want to block out anything else to put the towers over yet so his towers is over his head and he's dominating then he's crying and he's laughing whatever he's dropping to assure me is expressing is trying to create a bond his wife comes into shul and says small betrayal it's late suspect it's late there was like 2:00 3:00 in the afternoon come home meet and she goes back he doesn't listen the next opposite happens again the third trapars it happens again this time she doesn't let him go she goes into shoe again this is no one else around everyone has left but he's diverting by himself to a sham he's meditating she goes in and she pulls the towers off his head his good friend nuptial bed participated another big about Fawcett who was there noticed it because he was diverting to and and by chance he noticed it I mean how can you not notice the woman coming into the menstrual you know a little steeple everyone notices I don't care how how a meditative you are you're sitting right there you notice a woman coming in and especially when she grabs the talus off her husband's head after she left he goes over he goes over to his friend Schubert shallow right smooth body severe goes over to smooth metallo they're both friends and he says never smokes moobus a low if you married a woman who does not appreciate you diverting long on Shabbos it's a mistake it's called in Hebrew a mecca place he made mistake he got gypped he got ripped off he said you should divorce her you have grounds for divorce because you wouldn't marry a woman who pull your towels off when you've dived into a shame you weren't happening for your own ego you were trying right so listen to what he answer this listen because this is the punchline he said he said to his friend but isn't he says you're right logically you're right I should divorce her because obviously she doesn't appreciate the awfully long and thinking and meditating and all that but what should I do that the whole our holy river that same ascetic made the blood the blessing the bracha forked ocean under the Hupa with a shams name and now through the divorce I will be making that brother a brothel of attila a wasted brother I can't do that now that's the story what's the punchline what's the message for said earlier even though logically he had it from his belt I'm still you know from his world perspective he and she well different wavelengths so it was a mistake and those grounds for divorce right not lovely I'm not talking how logically but you know spiritually fills yeah nevertheless there's something deeper and if the same ascetic sanctions our marriage this cross it felt it's from God that means I need to go through this my soul needs to have this refinement process that's one story another story I think I told you this also but it's good to mention again with hospital came to the alter rebbe of the ballot Anya and it's appropriate because you test cuff kiss liver two days ago and he said ribbit you got to authorize me a divorce she's driving me mad I can't anymore I know I have kids but I can't please sanction me to get a get the represent no go back and try again No Go Back show and buy us go back Papa goes back tries another few months no good rember stay off forever at this point looked at this guy he's as Yankel listen to me I want to tell you something I know what they even say these words I'm paraphrasing Uranus summer dr. Eva's telling this Yankel yearning summer came from the top you have of a summer that came from the time of when the Yeadon were in - not money they were worshipping something else calls idols idolatry 2,000 years ago you're looking tonight you see they had a crazy thing they'll worship idols right left day/night idols cuckoo but we pursue the dollar they pursued idolatry so he says you committed hundreds and hundreds of transgressions of idolatry because that's the summer that you have can you imagine the out there ever telling this to a person it's hard to imagine but he had no choice because he had to give him a message so what did he say he said every time I heard this rabbit Miguel the translator of the spot centre he said every time your wife's nudges you a drive is you nuts it's another atonement from one time that you worshipped idols and since you worship idols three times a day it could be three times a day when your wife drives you mad and wipes away another day of Tuva again again the point of the story is the right right exactly but the point all disappointed to the same idea that Bertha there is a kisser that's me there is an essential bomb now now I know you might be at wondering and asking well the Torah says there is times for the voice of get we know that but when I took in now halakhah we're talking now do do you come do you come to a place where you say since the breath a brothel was made by a row and I read bare of with a chef's name that outweighs any logic it's deeper than logic and I did this is not something you can legislate this didn't come from the Semak said it this came to the cost of the way the closet felt the way that you feels you know I'm saying sorry and and it's not my place or anyone's place to go and and and tell someone who you know who feels they need a get and they've gone through counseling and they tried this and they tried that and I'm not I'm not going in that direction I'm talking about the idea and the idea is that you have to set that you will set from the very beginning even before you go under the Hooper why are you going down to the Hooper with this person why you know I always tell you know young men and women I say when they're dating I say to them if you can't accept the other person's deficiency you have no business dating them and marrying them you have to love their deficiencies and weaknesses and if you can't embrace that it's not going to be it's not a good marriage if you're gonna have problems we're all we all have weaknesses we all have deficiencies and you have to be able to say oh though the person has these deficiencies I still love them I still care for them I still want to be with them I still want to marry them because I love them I love the bond that's that's the new cooker so taking it back home as I call there's Burke home there is a sham didn't provide some of this today Hashem threw me a curveball this healthy new etc all these issues stop and ask yourself is your relationship about it because there's Berkeley or is is about what he did for you and you do for him is it kind of selfish or or is it was even about God being the presence of my life of closest and Happiness or is it just God's kid ello King before carousel Oh Kim and the more you think about that you understand it and you and you work with it and it resonates you'll see that both in in in spousal issues and the relationship issues and in with the abus term you won't have your own questions I just came back from from Poland in Russia but so Russia is if Moscow is right you feel like you're in Manhattan but in Poland not a war so but I went out to my mother's birth my grandmother's birthplace you know one's a town a village and it's you know it's paved roads and there's villas and this it's not the way it was eighty years ago but you still it's not a city and then if you stop and allow yourself to think about my family was entire wiped out killed destroyed with thousands and thousands hundred thousands of other Jews they rounded him up sent them like Treblinka they never you know you your mind doesn't have the the mental ability to to fathom like what did you do God you know you know my grandmother told my sister how when she was a collar the girls came out and they sang the third in this in the village and class officials a little dinky village over there outside of Warsaw had an hour out right and she was describing to my sister when we were children how how warm it felt she got married in 1935 so I got the document I have a copy of the document I saw the book in which it was written from pre-war I had it in my hands and I have a copy of the page right she married 35 and the 39 the entire life history her husband was shot on the street dead the father was shot in the soul was 50 60 other people five days after the war broke out something that the SS didn't authorize the German mom's a among their own there was the first mass killing of the war was in the my grandmother's City Koch hospitals and my great-grandfather our Sarang Sheila Cohen was one of the people was shot so my grandmother loses her father in the first five days of the war loses her husband probably within two three four weeks of the war and she has a little baby my mother and and a mother and a sister where's she going and start running your world is turned upside down overnight and and so can you understand this no you can't understand this you can't understand it you shouldn't want to understand it and frankly you should think about it but at the same time when you when you know if their once a lifetime when you go into a shtetl and you go into your own relatives so right that's when when we live see this it keeps your movement strong because the relationship with the ablest is not about what he does for us including life and death sorry life and death is a definition if we don't understand him we don't understand what he wanted we don't instead why he did it but we know that what he did was supposed to be done don't understand it but we know what he did was right that said Munna and it's the same thing in everyone's life we should never have Hospice showing these atrocities but but look how whether it's in America or actually throw the enemies are all around us right so you have to strengthen your Munna to Bailey you can never live up let up you can't just let it barb I guess say I had a Munna but today I could take a backseat it doesn't work that way you go to a doctor he gives you report he says I don't like your blood pressure I don't like your heart pressure but I was just healthy yesterday yeah well today's a new day and over sudden you're confronted with a new report what are you going to do and muninn so this is what we're learning in this mindler is that the third level of alpha is a level of of the deepest bond because it's hello Kim himself it's a shame himself let's continue now on page 116 were actually in middle of the page I'll tell you where we are we are here we're on the fourth line the fourth line it says Vikash M is binding the exit the fourth line the middle of the line Hashem is bringing bxm half full of our members to a cell fully the units are endless so no this actually legislate that when you meditate on the essential distance and exaltation exaltedness of God the vaca this borough of itself it causes you to have more or for him Wow episode we make a said deeper mass of the zoo ball the ha'la'tha this thought this this logic is not to of your reason to distance yourself in God but he says it also brings you to loving you more re ve ever beaten again this is called re a very special level the love of delights you know if something is eat a good rib steak you say ah it's so delicious right or you take a good jog or a good swim and your hat are you going to put slits it's oh what a gas market so pleasurable coat I know there is pining of God we say oh I feel elated I feel ashame in my bones tava by tecnocut unipi me is beau Mac Adobe's buggers and a deep and inner or fresh am comes from a meditation of how God is close to to us the commercial hula my local might atoll Amato Meany just as I said is in heaven so till he is below in other words you can't say you who de where is a sham ask your child whereas the shabby points up that's a limitation for a child that's good because that's basic you know but when you think about it is a chef only in the heaven Casa show is a sham only nurse husband soul having an answer the same to God that's what he says so this idea to say that thinking about birth meditating how God is is so awesome which normally would bring to a feeling of distance of year a fear there ever says here it also brings to a true ever why because yes God is awesome but this awesome God loves me loves the world wants to be here so therefore I have a relationship with it so I don't feel all I don't feel fear I feel love right someone who's really in your life very respectful than you have but for them right if you really if you really respect them you ultimately love them I had teachers a few teachers who had tremendous respect for them that caused me to have love for them not to be distance for them sure I didn't speak in their present you know I'm saying I was respectful and love to them but my heart was on fire I wanted to be closer I wanted to hear more I wanted to spend time with them I wanted to hang out I was arrested now this rebel hits for Coke that they called exotic of Leningrad he lives in Moscow I couldn't leave a side you know 75 years old he hugs you kisses you he's the strength that so they touch it when he gives you so molest him you still get hand thus falling off he's so strong 75 like an ox right and he's full of love and he's smothering me the whole time I'm supposed to be a half an hour I was in his office for two hours I just couldn't leave this man this you know we're today to find the man who was like full of love and full of kindness and and and just goodness is sweetness it's unique but you think about it this is a person who gave his life with the KGB for you this guy so you know I'm an American Martin my my my American I've ladies of serving God pales in comparison to what he went through so all hats are off for him so I should be distant from him know the distance the all and the reverence creates a love here borough it creates a love let's go further and by the way I found this over the course of my life in Labov ichika see them that I knew I'm not saying others are not that way I'm not saying that but the ones that I knew I saw this in in big Hoss seeder by Buick on disco gay and my father-in-law that they were very special people in their own right you know but all of that they had this humility that drew the love out of the person and created a close loving relationship not a fear relationship you hear the difference right to a friend who you love you can ask about anything and if you can't ask about anything and you can't express your heart there's something lacking in the relationship it has to be natural let's go further nintzel have had a however the year hey Maha Lucas we understand the love and fear are different hame bad suppose some in their essence beyond them in their content the same base but lucema beyond and also in the meditation that brings that leaves to the feelings of love and fear the Yaga Vienna hey maka the highest became a mrs. loving a Shem and fearing a sham are the source of the of the of the energy became my mistress in the fulfillment of mitzvahs Oh commercial Khosla Rebecca's Allah's the author ever writes in chapter 4 Tania quote but I became um the one who fulfills the mrs. the MS was truth you know there was a mess who are you - a Martian if someone who loves the name of God the Humphries loved us cat-boy badness and desires to attach himself to Shem the Emmis value they will either be either by having love and fear for him yes with highest bat mitzvah he has a dish muck he has vitality enjoyment to the Mitzvah the huff expanding desires them so as though he puts up to him the barn because he has to it's not as though you've stuck because he asked him he really again I always go back to the muscle and a better wife swear I saw him will die we saw him give sadaqa to me he had enjoyed uncle even sometimes when you curse out someone right after Kristin out he gave him a check he pushed her dad joy from giving sadaqa it's it's it's not an easy thing you know that people are give and they give a lot they're not saying they don't but you know you have the schmuck you know I remember once a better a better wise KB says give your brother Elora the right in Washington here I want to take this money and give to him yes he had the schmuck on his own I didn't go over to him so there is when you have when you have a vein gira to God you want to do as mitzvahs you're looking to do as mitzvahs no one has to tell you those mitzvahs that's why to get up in the morning to come to shul to Darvin and all that that's who I am I love doing it just like I you know love eating and sleeping in them and chilling out really if you have a vendetta to assume your natural habitat is doing mistress overthrow tears in a year additional accessory more specifically leader is the source of all negative Commandments she ordered avoid the person has much fear may odorless a set of negative Commandments razorba she does good days of the hoof none of us yoga and is very careful with all fences and enactments in other words even if it's not but even if it's just a little think that the rub on him there the rabbi's say is careful to follow it via either and if when one has loved fresh every shade of chakra is the kid misbehaved up that's the source of during the mitzvah bahid or you could do a mitzvah but you know it's it's you know you know what it is it's just they could do a mitzvah with Hitler you know if you can afford it I get the nicest essrig i get the nicest martyrs I get the nicest thing to do a mixer nimza the quickest on that fish and Caloocan with simple materials what we understand for this is that the sole powers of the soul the curse of them fish are different in the mode of joy simpler or the mode of medidas bitterness and frustration which are Anita love and fear mr. Sesay Oh mrs. Lowe says see all these are cinnamons she closed in shackles and who believed curse of the Luo Yin that ever says all this is the way the powers are in the revealed sense I will be clinically so ask me in but look at the soul powers not as they are in the operating mode burrow we call this operating mode are called small clickers again Luo Yin Clifton so osmium are the places the way they are in essence not the way they're operating already you know already doing something but the way they are pre operating the way they are from this in the sole before their motion operating I will emphasize me now listen to this because this answers I think your quest to burrow yesterday how to show my Sims of our MIDI toes they're simpler and bitterness and a veneer love and fear to effort are one where is there a difference between the tool and the operating mode but in the brains behind the operating mode kind of you know in the in the water makes the coating the coating to the computer over there somehow they go hand in hand it's not two separate distinct of modes rather one mold consisting of two who combined many quotes with the alternate of course at the end of chapter 31 Tania heads what the ability buddy Citadel Troy is wedged in one side of the heart over here and tears miss Citadel from the other side the simple medidas simpler and frustration and bitterness mam catheter both like one welcome my man and as the same as the puzzle saying in in tractate Scullion bhava the so Huck he cried and he left what are you make up your mind to view are you a crier or are you a laugher you're not you're not Massoud that right no when is crying and laughing a contradiction when you're in the operating mode make up your mind what you're doing and who you are but if you go back to your very essence they go together there are two modes that make you strong and both our halves in other words if crying and laughing are two holes they don't get together but when is each one's a half like the haircut see Scheck he'll write to half a shekel you need them both and by the way the same with spouse it's the gays or says he's vicious powder the goofer men and women husband a wife or a half a body not to whole bodies getting together it's two halves they complete a make up a whole same over here yo-yo says our sins of a breeders that ever says more so simply medidas meals they said each leads to the other a true and genuine frustration will lead to a truth a true happiness and that you simple bleak to a true frustration alcohol the Mancino any quotes the biosis arabic even we find that i believe a crime as a so blade of demoys his eyes shed tears they should show my sages attainable a blessed knee hurt secrets are a terrible lesson theodore that demoys boys makeva samara weird tears come from from the contraption kyboots of the brain of the mola the more often the brain that might can't handle it anymore it's too much you start crying the cashier a yahoo the pablo singing made of the ones but you can't eat can't you don't get it anymore it's beyond the brain's capacity tears start coming down the tables what is key books keep horses marinos frustration bitterness tears crying and says Yiddish an it good kite right Yehuda you know the the the Germans did the Swedish language I need good kite it cooked right cables is not good kibbutz it's it's no good meaning what do you mean it's no good I can't understand there's too much from my brain so it's but it's so powerful that that I start crying possession so Gallade of the bunch will be made and this is why you ready Kiba sides started to Shetty make regular simpler the kind of an effigy me BB bouquet it's because the the great simpler and the joy of the soul are are two opposites operating levels two opposites the Tama developing a geeky violet whose tight the epicenter theta y Rabi Akiva was well seasoned in knowing the secrets of the Torah or combine magnificent Soviets with all the Buddha says he entered with peace indicate mouthpiece so Indian rock surface Road is the idea of the yearning and the longing the longing and the return yearning for seminary turning or laser goofer who washes Oh Glade of Des Moines with Medina Sammy T that's why he cried and said real tears not you know fake tears MIT named Maheu and effects of us my dad Kazu he was crying why isn't he displayed in the operating mode the who he really is it touched it it was it touched it can the key boy you have service constantly is bodega zoo let me keep it had a desire to be the level of the secrets of Torah make sure I'm not actually as the mother says a brother so let me keep it said about herself call your my you seem inspired mostly elderly the other Kingdom all my days I had pain sir when will I have an opportunity to do the midst of what of kiddush Hashem oka make any exceptions recursively is well they did of course so to the McKeever had a desire a very strong desire to have God news life type of 117th oh and they are clava COMSOL a venir re opinion because of this book goodness and this really essential pleasure and inner inward visual image the floors are Cosmo and the deep will be wonders of the wisdom zogu ain of the Moises eyes Shakir's memory verse or Simha from the very powerful frustration and bitterness behind mountains greater a kind of distinct facade net face now sir Bickle the hood filler because they came together and he had such title and joy from the from from being the vital from a know his his intellectual approach and and having mischievous nefesh Sicilian octopuses obey the Des Moines this is the idea of how he shed tears and others really achieve a shedding of Tears was an expression of who he really was and and what he yearned for you understand so that's why in other words he felt he's not obtaining it in his daily life and and and and he was so overwhelmed with that feeling that that caused him tears so his tears were really his essence which goes together with with pleasure and God in other words he had tremendous pleasure and God therefore he wanted to do mysterious nefesh he wanted assertion but he couldn't cause your my until the Romans raped him that's when he fulfilled kiddush but all his life he said I'm yearning for the midst of for the kiddush Hashem so that ever says that goes in hand-in-hand with what the governor says that he shed tears because his tears were demonstrative of what his real pleasure was yes motion yes and though it's a very good question and that kumar's of Amarna tightness this kumar's Gomorrah brokers and the Rebbe I believe asks your question in a seeker that he that he made was said once the CM of the tractate kindness and believe that there in the next year in the next year I'm gonna without shrimps help I'll try to get to the safer and I think the Rebbe addresses your question so very good question and you would have a great Shabbos it's sharp as before Chanukah Shabbos after you just kiss lift go with simcha only happiness that good to everyone the Chavez [Music]