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No Pain No Gain - Antidote to Youth Drug Issue
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Kuntres U'Maayan #20
Categories:Torah/Chassidus
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i'm sorry on youtube and his yard sign
on tess kislev so
mr sham thursday we'll talk about that
instead of this year if i bring and talk
about that and also
about some of his forum so what you you
know
rather than having like one uh week full
of uh
you know discussions about
the the is in this forum and you know
that you you asked me to
to to teach you um i'd rather do it you
know will we learn to see this and then
uh for a year with the pogba a special
day
um talk about that so that'll be mr shem
thursday
now we're middle over here of this uh
fascinating minder of
countries on page 163
we're holding the third pedic the third
chapter let's review the cancer to
refresh our memories
before the ponemias earlier
he cares someone has their mic on please
muted
himself
[Music]
when it comes to the ponemius are here
when you're talking about a light an
energy
that its inherent orientation its
inherent makeup
is pneumous and we're talking about
an infinite light of hashem by himself
you hear that who has access to that
primarily he says
every words account it counted for are
those that are terror mitzvahs in other
words
all he didn't have a cyclist they have
an association
but they're not that's not the primary
target audience
audience israel jacobson
the known chabad activist who
helped bring the previous rabbit to
america
so he writes in his memoirs he writes
this there were three types of the
bachelor
in america in the early uh
19 20th century
he said uh and and and
years later there was one group of
hasidim that were
uh
in other words they did not practice a
chabad lifestyle
and for that matter some of them were
not even religious
but they came from the geza khabad
from the root from the pedigree of
chabad the grandfather their grandmother
their great-grandmother going back to
russia and to ukraine to here and there
okay and they had a feeling
because they were told by the
grandfather i remember
this rebel and this hasid and the
labavich and therefore
support them give sadaka be nice to them
that's those type of hasidim and he
calls them a category of hasidim
but were they really no
but that's one category the next
category is called
of the nusabad
all they do is they dive in from the
bottom
that's another category and and even
today i don't know if you see this in
big chambers but
i see it always here people that are not
habarero they're using
chabad sitter and i asked him why are
you using he says oh my grandpa
this is the way i was taught when i was
a boy when i were you know by my parents
and grandparents
this is our nusa but they're not the
babbage at all just this morning
a a big rev's grandson was diving next
to me in shul
and i asked him his name and he told me
and i said oh i know your grandfather i
interviewed him and he's a massive
talmud hockham
and i said to you and the boy doesn't
look like a barbecue and i said you know
your zade is is a laboratory he says i
know
so i said to him and so what are you
doing about it
he says i i know and i do a little
meanwhile you know
it's not too reflective yet but he was
dominating with a lot of kavanagh and
it was beautiful so and he wasn't
he wasn't doubting he was diving into
fart i saw the art scroll said he was
using was fart
so that's not what we're talking about
we're talking about someone who remains
keeping the nusef
so it's called the rabbi jacobson calls
those hasidim
and then you have the third group of
hasidim is the
they live their lifestyle following the
customs
now why am i saying this because the
rabbit says here in the
kitchen the word ikar you have to pick
up on the word
ikar he says the preemies are himself
who is the target ordinance primarily
primarily those that keep her a mistress
but not to the exclusion of others who
are only for example
you got it okay let's continue
clinton was that was that about
what he was referring to that is he
talking about also like the
the way that in a way split like once it
came to america like with the okay
you know what i'm saying like there was
different branches of
like what what do you mean what do you
mean what do you mean the okay
first what do you mean the okay so first
one
wasn't there after that there was some
kind of
i don't know it was a rift or something
but there was a
a difference like it was until the time
of
but six out of the seven or five out of
six excuse me became rebels in different
cities
and there was a kind of there was really
a heavy rift between
two of the groups um but they all they
all were
teaching this of the altar rabbit
they weren't teaching belgium
but they you know had their own style
that's what you're referring to but um
he's not in the miami that's not i i was
just giving that as an example
just to understand the word haikar but
in the mind where he he doesn't at all
mean that at all he's talking about the
orange self the orange self the infinite
light that's
me is it's primarily shaykh is
determined to those that are
involved with terror mitzvahs so i just
made the point
that not to exclude completely those
that are not characterized
they they also get but in an associated
way
not in a primary way let's continue
the negative forces and energies in the
world called clippers they receive from
what's called the external
machine moved abraham and the
the light of hashem is separated
from them so we spoke about it just
declared to remind you
in other words the question is when we
are energized
with the light of hashem are we muhad
are we united with it is it become who
we are
or is it an adjunct to who we are and
that's what he says here
the earth need me by definition becomes
who you are
if you are a vessel to it you understand
so so another in other words by a yid
when the art preemie hits the heat
it's like that saying if you drink too
much you're going to get drunk
right you know what i'm saying it's
inevitable otherwise if you drink too
much
if you have the aurapneemi you're going
to be judaized
you're going to be you just you're going
to be a yidd and
no there's no way out of it because
what the the emanation the the the flow
the energy
is such that it makes you a palpable
gate
a vibrant jew whereas with the clipper
there's an important point
whereas with the clipper yarn is in to
begin with the
oil hashem that animates the clipper
is not a art that's much with the
clipper
that's united with the clipper the it's
an arc that's an
adjunct to the clipper
so in other words the vitality that the
clipper has
there's a separation and concept between
the energy
and the clipper so therefore the clipper
never really
became god godliness
it was it was antithetical to god
and at times it now times and it needs
in order to be antithetical it needs
godliness to be antithetical
so god says here's some godliness to be
antithetical to me to
bring free free will for people but the
light the energy that it
it it gets which is called him
is never with it it's never one with it
think of it this way motion think of it
this way
someone who likes you someone who cares
for you someone who really is
on your team they're always looking
whenever whenever they they talk to you
or
think about you it's always like what
can i do that's best for him
in other words it's not that depending
on how he's going to respond
that's what i'm going to give and think
about
they're so they're so close to you
they're so that they're one with you
that just like they when they when they
think about helping themselves when a
person thinks about doing something
that's good for themselves right do they
do
do we do do we do we think i'm now
doing myself a favor i'm doing myself a
favor
by not uh going out in the cold freezing
cold without a cold
race i'm doing myself a favor by eating
properly i'm doing myself a fa
anyone that thinks that way in a way
that
you know takes time my space
is not so healthy and he's making a
mistake
because it's it's you breathe if you
breathe then you want to you want to be
you want to be healthy you want to be
normal so
so i'm saying use that as an example to
understand the difference between
the way that hashem relates to the
clipper and the way the
australian relates to kedusha
the way the rsrm relates to kadusa is
exactly the way that i just described
about us thinking about ourselves
which basically we don't think about
ourselves
right when do we start thinking about
ourselves when we
when when what's happening to us is
outside of ourselves unexpected
right and then we have a problem and we
say
how am i going to deal with this issue
so the issue that we're confronting
both in the negative and the positive is
outside of who we
are and that's what the deputy says you
know the kids with rashaab
that the way the hashem unites with
klippa
is not in the same manner the way the uh
hashem unites with kedusha
in kedusha the hashem says you
are i and because you are i
as as whenever whatever i want to myself
to be best i want for you
inseparable but not inseparable
listen to this not inseparable that they
were
two that became one they were always one
they're always one that became two just
like a husband and wife according to the
zillion
what does the holy zayer teach us
husband and wife
our paw will give the goofer a half of a
body each being a half
not desert doesn't say that a husband
and wife is two bodies
coming together male and female it
doesn't say that in this
in the holy zayer it says it's
a half so that means that you're not
complete
without your other half and she's not
complete without her
other ass paul get the goof and in the
same way
it's with the hashem and kedusha
kidusha is not kedusha without the r and
r is not the r without kedusha
but you can't say that about clipper
clipper
gets her hashem its existence
kind of on its own hashem wants it that
way
and to animate it it gives it
it gives it highest so even when it has
the highest of hashem
it's not the fires doesn't become one
with the clipper i hope this was
clear let's continue it
you're not talking about we're not
talking in terms of godly clippers right
the clipper
is is something that's that's
materialistic right it's not something
we are who may yeah of course we are you
know who made the clip is uh
the uh yankee doodle or yogi berra who
made them
no of course i'm asking so when you say
as soon as you say
as soon as you understand that the
clippers were made by god
they're godly
anything that's made by god is godly the
question is what's its purpose
that's what you're referring to that's a
different that's a different we're not
i'm not we're not we're not thinking of
that when you
see this you have to learn how to focus
on the the particular
aspect that's relevant to the
conversation and discussion
so you're saying this correct but not in
this context
okay let's continue the kitchen because
we have to get out of the kitchen to get
to the chapter
so he says
[Music]
now we can understand
[Music]
it's because of our transgression don't
blame anybody except yourself
there's martial you ain't simply
traditional mocking
during the time in jewish history when
we did hashem's will became our terror
misses by fulfilling success mana bias
top of 165.
oh you've been milo you're in the mid we
eaten we're very
very elevated
special for you
and guess what we were very wealthy as
well
everyone had his vineyard everyone had
his
his place of gardening when he had the
figs and everything else in other words
a time of slamming the the that shrap is
quoting but it says in khazal
the time of slaymen was a very very
successful
material time for the jewish people um
when it came to
[Music]
he says and you'll see that the prophets
called the jews
and they say because you are vaders you
ended up in such a situation so travis
is saying
it's not
so this is what you would call reverse
thinking he's asking the following
question
why can't we the eden be macabre from
the market
we established earlier guys that the
market
is open-ended anyone who wants come and
receive right called
yes like we say night
so why can't
we during the time of gullies get from
the market and get a lot
why is it why is it that the naveem
are scolding the jews and telling him
you know why you're suffering
because of this availability says that
ever wait a minute
even if their bali are vaders even if
they're sinners
but just like the [ __ ] benefit from the
market
so too jews who are sinners should
benefit from the market
that's his question now we really
answered
the many this year but let's see how he
says it again here
and he says ella third part
she is
what i was saying just before that's
because you're differing with it
you're you're dealing with a different
quality jews
are being you hear moshe in essence
anemias
so it's like trying to feed
to stuff someone with food
i don't know if that's a good example
but you know they have the uh
biatric the operations and if you eat
too much
you vomit right in other words their
their intestines become it's been
minimized
so putting in a lot of food it's just
gonna
just spit it out it's gonna come out in
other words this is not who you are
you were that way before but now you had
the operation you're not that way
so stuffing makif energy
into into a paninis in into a panemius
experience ayahid is an oxymoron it's
not going to work
so it works for the ghanian because they
are market but it doesn't work for us
that's his answer in short let's see how
he puts it further
okay
if you follow my trailer you'll get
all delicacies of material delicacies
they came to mid swiss it's all
because the source of the arapanemi
which we jews have
comes from the inner essence of god's
essence
and sometimes that energy
is so revealed that it's it it reveals
itself more than the way the
the energy reveals itself in the world
and that ever says the example is during
the time of the basa amigdas
energy shined
and illuminated
and more specifically to the sacrifices
that were brought
they brought
just like this is what the rebbe is
saying just like the time the base of
migdash
that they brought a lot of kerbonus and
they did a lot of terror mitzvahs
it was an abundance the result was they
got a big bank account they got a lot of
ashbur
because they gave a lot hashem gave them
a lot
of good look at those four last words
but it all came from
anemias so his answer in a nutshell is
what's that english expression you know
you can't change what is a
cat to a mouse a mouse to a cat you know
this is what it is
you're not changing a guy is a guy and i
eat the heat both are needed
both are valuable but don't mix the two
the energy
there's earn me and their market you
can't say
eating when they're down and out they
should go and get from their market
because it doesn't work that way and
this is
go back this is the whole thing that we
saw
in real life we saw eden
who went to seek hashem in various
pastures in various fields
and at the end they came to they came to
realize
whether themselves or through others
that
this is not who i am i'm looking in the
wrong area
this is not who i am and and now you you
if you say well
so many there's so many that didn't come
okay first of all they still could come
they can realize it's never too late but
that's not it
that's because they were still unaware
of it but once they become of a
aware that they're a yid they're a jew
there's no question that they will react
in a jewish way they had another uh clip
last week
from a doctor who never who never spoke
about his
his experience with the rebber
and i think he's out from philadelphia
pennsylvania somewhere
and he was he's a podiatrist he's so he
was a
world leading um professor of podiatry
i forget his last name now wallach or
waldman or something
it's online um so they they they had him
tell his story
so he he got a call from a friend
this is 1991 this is when the rebel was
still well
that the the the our friend the doctor
called and said there's a rabbi
schneerson in new york who was having an
issue
and and they would like the the the
people
would like that that you come and visit
and and
check check him out so he said what
he said i should go to the rabbi i don't
go to any rabbis i don't go to any
people
if someone wants to see me i have an
office you come here
so the guy says you never heard of
robert schneiderson i never heard robert
schneiderson and i don't care
about a rabbit here's them
anyway his friend nudged him
and he got him to he's he was going to
be in new york for a
talk that he was giving a few a few
weeks later he said do me a favor
come in we'll pick you up whatever we'll
send you coming to brooklyn
so that much he was agreeable to
and he tells over how from the moment he
walked into the rebber's office
he was like you know he was like taken
by
by the rubbish you know face and eyes he
talks about that
and the bottom line is that um
he he he grew up knowing nothing you
know very little about either skype the
fact i think he said he didn't even know
until of recent that his that his mother
or grandmother had a jewish name it was
very far you know very far from judaism
and slowly he um i don't i don't i don't
know i'm sure if he became a full
bolshevik uh
but he you know he started to do more
and
so i'm saying what i'm saying is that
that
you know you have to become aware you
have to be cognizant
you know and then he and then he started
to read and find out who he who
who was his patient rubbishness and and
and he
you know he had tremendous respect and
and everything else he was honored that
he had the opportunity
so when the rebbe says here album
you have to understand that you have to
be made aware that you're dealing with
premiums
like i also told you once without
mentioning a name someone i met in bet
shemesh who told me
that the way he became about the shoe
was because a chabad a friend of mine
met him on a college campus years ago
and asked him would you like to put on
twill and he said what's chilling
he didn't even know what film is and
you know he said we'd like to do a
mitzvah would you like to do a mitzvah
so he said what's a mitzvah they told my
mitzvah is what god wants of us to
do and he told me that that was the
first time that he ever heard there's
something that god
wants of a person to do he never heard
of such an idea
and when he heard that just overnight he
said i want to do what god wants me to
do and it became about the shuffle
now it's a very very like it's a very
to me it's a very like straight it's a
very unusual story that from
but if you think about it's a very
powerful very powerful that
a person is unaware that god wants first
of all
there is a god number two that the god
wants
of me of me not of of him
of me to do something and then he says
i want to do it you know so that's all
when the panemius of a yid
is wakes up
from their slumber from their dream and
when that happens
it's only going to ris
come with a rib that's what he says here
last paragraph
so
but we have to know that
pain and suffering souring is surim
that you have it also
resonates implements
lights are in all of their pain
i hashem have pain so so so yanni
if hashem says i have pain it's because
of you has pain
now mushy if the pain of a yid would be
just
external god wouldn't have pain
in other words when a guy has pain
hashem doesn't have pain
but when i eat this pain hashem has pain
why
because hashem and naid their
relationship is ponemias
[Music]
is written with an aleph right hillel
don't read it with an aleph read it with
a vote
behold sarasam
[Music]
why because hashem
is with them in their afflictions
represents a holy place penis attic
the level of arctic it's a high level of
godliness
and he quotes the the sources from zaya
avo la tika kadisha stimulus
okay let's just skip that parenthesis at
the last
second or last line after the
parenthesis
though this place is beyond all
afflictions and suffering
still to that exalted blame the
affliction of israel attains
so what he's saying is that the
affliction
touches the very essence next page 167.
what does it mean in the hidden places
does my uh does by
so my nephews yeah cry naked for your
pride
and the rep explains
i'm sorry the gamora explains the gemara
there is a place that hashem has and
it's called you know what it's called
mysterium hidden my
name what does it mean
is there weeping in reference to hashem
and papa says there is no con
concentration country contradiction
for hashem
this refers to the inner and the outer
chambers this is the this is what it
says in the
murder shirashi let's see what rashi
says
the bottega the inner chambers
[Music]
right he quoted he quoted earlier the
verse in year me who top of the page
from the oh you gimmel so he
and over there the language is storing
in the hidden recesses does my soul cry
so rashi explains to gomorrah
the the gemara geek is asking a question
if papa's asking a question
you're telling me god's weeping and
there is no weeping there is no sadness
for god
and the gabon says answers depends where
in the inside chamber or the outside
chamber
so rashi explains what does inside
chamber mean
the mysterion referring to that
possibility
meaning that
metaphorically speaking that's where
there is crying and weeping
crying and weeping for what for jewish
pride that was taken from them
in ghosts
[Music]
and here we were stripped from our
premiums
so what's the name saying through us
crying out to hashem
when we cry out to hashem at the time of
our service
we arouse
that hashem should have an abundance of
mercy on us
from the hard work and labor
by ozaku and they screamed get me out of
here
[Music]
asked many times on his on his own words
after talking about
the change in the law of media hoodie
nurtures a terrible decree and other
issues and he would say
why am i speaking about this again
and why am i screaming about this again
etc etc
and his answer was when something hurts
you cry out you scream out it hurts oh
that's what it says over here
[Music]
why did we say moisture like
you know what was it about that day that
we were saying
because we couldn't take it anymore i
just can't take it anymore so what do
you do
that's the beginning of redemption it
shows that you're alive and you
care
so many times we look at the the crying
out the screaming out
you know i need help we look at it like
stop already and and it's true if it's
what we call crocodile tears fake tears
fake news it is nonsense
but when you really hurt
and you have nowhere to turn and you
just turn to hashem
you have to help me it hurts and i can't
i can't do it on my own
says that here
because it was that way in mitzrayim
the ula began you hear the point
the ula began from the screaming and
shouting that it's painful here
the ula didn't begin excuse me when they
started to walk out of him
and march out of mitsuram that wasn't
already later
from the moment that they they they
shouted that we're in pain
that's when the ula began the rap the
gemara says and they haven't made this
point many times
it says that meshiach right it says that
the mashiach
is born on tish above and the commander
says
that as soon as the basa mikdhas was
destroyed when it was destroyed
the moment that the jews were crying
that's when the
ula began but wait a minute it's the
destruction
but you realize it's destruction and you
cry out and you scream out i need help
ula begins and the same is true
the pain and suffering
is is no one should have it and it's
very difficult but the fact is the fact
is
that it happens okay so
one attitude towards it is negative
negative why did god make it happen
i don't want to know about it the other
one is
it happened and that itself will get me
to
screen to hashem i i i i don't want it
anymore i'm going to do this about it
proactive that's that's redemption
the ula is not sitting on the couch and
being morbid
the rebel writes in a letter to a
teenage girl
who we know is a mother today and has a
family bought hashem
and when she was a teenager i think in
1979 or so
76 her mother was hit by a car and
passed away it was a terrible and she
had all these younger
all these younger siblings and she wrote
to the rebber
you know even after the shiver she's
still a mourning and then you know and
it's very
hurt and she doesn't know what to do
she's the oldest
child and now she's asked to function
like a mother and the rebber wrote her
back a beautiful
letter one or two pages at length in
english
and whoever wrote to her that just like
morning
if you don't mourn the shiva you're
going against halacha if you mourn
too long you're also going against
that's why this period seven days thirty
days
twelve months in other words and then
that ever writes there you have to
understand jesus says
all your siblings are looking up to you
that's a fact
so now of course of course it's it's
painful and it's not it's not even
that it's a given
but we have to we have to think you know
how are we going to turn this around how
are we going to make ghoul out of it let
me just finish the paragraph
they scream they screamed to hashem when
they went
when they were in pain when they were
hurting and shikhaliya
before you have to scream from the depth
of your heart
not because you didn't have an ice cream
today or a soft couch
[Music]
everyone's heart that's what the rabbit
told elliot lasky in the video which he
spoke about
where is hashem in your heart
what color is the heart does it have
scissors
or does it have uh does it have a
ponytail what color
what's the heart wearing it doesn't have
neither it's the heart meaning
it's who you are scream out to hashem it
hurts
and you see that's a universal message
you talk about your universal humanism
and judaism that's a message that you
could share with everyone
from afraid
are you are you are you talking to
hashem are you really communicating with
your creator
it's you know and and and that's and
that's something that people can relate
to
and that's something that's another way
of of being the lawyer people you know
when's the last time you had a what did
they call them
a yoni a a dmc you know today's language
you know dmc is
a deep meaningful conversation
my my youngest daughter i hear speaking
with your friends on the phone
we're gonna have a dmc tonight at the
shabbaton
we're gonna have a dmc it's so fun to
hear say that you know
it it it's true when is the last time a
great praise i'm glad to know
i'm going to spring it on my kids yeah
when is the last time you had a dmc with
hashem
you don't need to be you know of a
certain color and lifestyle did you talk
to hashem today
and if not get moving talk to him and
when you start talking to hashem
it's gonna work yes moshe i just want to
say that you know we spoke last week
last couple weeks
yeah a little bit came up about rabbi
sachs or jonathan
oh yeah yeah and uh i saw on
uh it was a thursday night or
friday no thursday night i think
uh you know he gave he was invited to
give a ted talk
i saw it and you see it and it was it
was amazing
his the way he spoke to a audience of
non-jews
right assuming most on jews unbelievable
and and just rabbit dolphin what you
just mentioned now
it just made me think about that
especially what we've been learning
today
the the you know but but his message how
he was able to
articulate faith
right a healthy message
for non-jews right was
was amazing i'm just i think yeah yeah
i understand i hear i hear you and i
understand what you're saying
and and you know there's one thing
non-jesus then our our own our own we
have to
you know everything you have to bring
back you know to our youth
our youth is the future so you know
it's important globally think about you
know what i'm saying
and that was rabbi saks had that
position that responsibility and
and of course when we were able to
emulate it but i'm talking more about
you know our our own
cell own community and and families and
you know the people because everyone's
grappling they had this last shot but i
just was walking home with a friend
friday night from shul
he wasn't sure a week ago so i said
where were you he says i went to uh
in the catskills uh there was a
shabbaton for about 200 people
and mostly hasidic people of all kinds
and it was about saving their kids
saving the youth the problems with drugs
and issues i mean it you know he said
you couldn't then
he mentioned some names that are that
all you know i don't want to
say it's not right you know uh
you know so so everyone is is is trying
they brought that speaker abhishem and
russell from i don't know if he lives in
betchamish
but uh from eric's role where does
shimmer
whatever they brought them out for the
shabbaton so um
you know it's something and and we
shouldn't
if i may say so we shouldn't you know
say oh let the experts you know
what's it called the yoni the guy from
far rockaway
um from priority one the the rabbi who's
a big
he's big in this i forget his name
anyway
you know anyway
he's big in this anyway you know the
experts the experts but
every one of us can contribute
especially
you know with family they had a boy he
told me a boy
he had a teenager
at home not a teenager he's now getting
married in a month
and he got up and he spoke
and he said that he wanted to kill
himself many times
he wanted to commit suicide and he said
to them why didn't i commit suicide
and he said that and next month i'm
getting married
and he said
because my parents loved me
and my parents never gave up
and they showered me with love and
that's why i didn't kill myself
because i couldn't do it to my parents
so you understand
that didn't come from stripper russell
it didn't come from this rabbi didn't
come from that rabbi this therapist
it came from his parents so that's why
i'm saying when we're learning this over
here
in the mimer it's it's you know that the
sakura you know in other words you you
could you could you could
you could say oh it's screaming and
crying about it but it's all negative
because it is a negative experience
hurting yourself with drugs and want to
commit suicide
is very negative or you could you could
to yourselves you know it's what can i
do about it
and and and and be proactive and with
the and
it says in the mimer the oola starts
from that what does that mean
that the redemption of this boy coming
back
to health and being normal part of
society
and getting married and have a family
begins from the parents
by exactly you understand so the way you
talk
as long as it comes and don't cut the
leap is not an easy thing
it's the hardest thing to look into the
mirror very hard
because you have to make changes and you
don't want to make changes
and you think you're right but then at
the same time you say
and not i want to say not that i'm
blaming you can't blame
you know oh the parents the this and
that that's why the kid turned out this
way
because we see that it's not always like
that
so whatever the reason is whether it's
the parents the community hashem or the
kid is born with such a soul
yeah i really believe that some
people are born with neshamas
and it's not my belief it says in kabul
and the arizona
they're born with gilgal
and they have to go through a lot of
difficulty in trauma
and it's it's unfortunate but that's the
fact
and they're never never gonna be
peaceful that does not exempt
us from doing what we can for them
you know and and i think if more and
more people do this and
and you know to have 200 hasidim
come into a room and not be embarrassed
because this was
used to be the biggest i mean i grew up
in this community i'm telling you
from growing up here this was the
biggest shonda
for a family here to to
to even walk in the street with
they would send them away to muncie and
to hear
and hide them and not talk about it you
know what i'm saying
that shame it's not completely gone but
it's
it's it's gone a lot even by the people
here
and they come to a shabbaton they want
to
work with each other and develop ways
and um
and it's interesting as i was walking
home with this friend of mine
his 23 year old son a 24 year old son
was walking on the right
and his son-in-law who newly married a
year or so is on the left
and he and i are having a conversation
and i and and i also
look to see how those two on the right
the left
are reacting to his father the father
and father
was speaking to me and i'm speaking to
him and and i i
in other words i feel like embarrassed i
didn't want to cover their face
and i i seemed to me that they were very
eager
to be part of the conversation although
they would say you think but they did
in other words it's it's become now that
there's no hiding anymore we have to
take and deal with things
hands-on and the hiding period is very
destructive
and if if another son or or a son-in-law
or a sibling or a relative has what to
contribute and and to make a difference
please but you know
i don't
starts from our pain remember that take
care
take care