Mrs. Esther Serebryanski early years, intelligent, learned & forgiving - my shviger, R Chaim Dalfin

I want to share a few words as a tribute to my dear wonderful mother-in-law Mrs. Esther Cabbranski Olam. I came to the family in 1983 when I engaged my wife, her oldest daughter Bashi and uh met her for the first time shortly before I married in Melbourne in 1984 other March of 19 February of 1984. So, it's 41 years that I knew my mother-in-law. I didn't know her in the capacity as of course the children, but I just want to share some heartfelt uh feelings and I hope that people watching this and hearing this will be inspired to learn from her ways. My mother-in-law was a very intelligent person. She came from American, you know, Brooklyn life in the 1930s. That means the depression years. There wasn't any money. There wasn't any food. I don't mean any at all, but it was very scarse and and and and it was difficult. Her mother was a tremendous educator as well as her father. Her mother was handpicked by Mrs. Mandel and she started they started the B what became to be known as the B Yakov the Byakov of of America. The first one was started by my wife's grandmother, my shviger's mother who was handpicked. They were living I think in Jersey City at the time. Mrs. Mandel came with her son Pinas and they took a ferry uh because that time there was very diff it was very difficult. There weren't all the means of transportation and they pleaded with her. They heard that she, you know, she was a European and she was an educator and they wanted her to come. Her husband had a job at the time, I believe, and as a rabbi in Nuli or somewhere and uh he agreed and they moved over to uh to Brooklyn. My mother inherited these qualities of fine education, refinement and sensibility, calmness, thoughtfulness and forgiveness. Many many a times I heard from her, you know, okay, we disagree and we go on. She she had her opinion. She was no slouch as to Sarah Bransky was an opinionated person, but with proper opinions. Nevertheless, sometimes you disagree. How did she deal with that? What I saw was she just let it go and and and went on. Growing up in America during the 1930s and 40s, her mother passed away when she was 12 years old in 1942. She was born 1929. Her mother passed away 1942. It was devastating for her and her older sister Raal Foggelman. Rabbits and Fulgamin Hashel Foggman of Worcester the Kabach his wife Rahul may she be well he's two years older than my two girls grew up in a way as teenagers on their own and as difficult and sad as that that is it made them stronger it really did each and each of them in their own way they're very different people but they both were became stronger because of the great loss. My mother-in-law never never forgot her mother. She would um talk to her mother, my wife tells me, in the kitchen and sing to her mother. And this was till my children uh remember her doing similar, you know, as an 85year-old woman. She was educated both Jewishly and in secular h history. For example, she was very well-versed in American history, in Jewish history. And it was that panoramic view that she bring she brought to the table that she brought to her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and all people around her. And I must say that probably the thing that she was known for most was her open house hospitality. My wife just told me last night people who are calling to be my to comfort with my wife say, "Oh yeah, whenever I needed a cup of coffee, I just walked into the kitchen and made myself a coffee." Now of course my father-in-law said gets due credit for that as well. But the one who was home pretty much was my mother-in-law. And it didn't fathom me. You you could knock on the door. You not knock on the door. come in. I want a cup of coffee. And and where where did she speak to people? And people used to speak to her and she used to counsel people unofficially in the kitchen. Okay. while she's cleaning the dishes, while she's making food. We need to learn from this that if you want to help a person, and you you should help people if you can in any way, shape, or form, you don't need an office, you don't need a dining room, you don't need a couch. Wherever you are, you could help. Yeah, understandably. You know, a beautiful apartment home furnished and then elegant and all of that broadens one's perspective and it adds to the experience. But it's all about the heart, the communication, the care, the love. And this was this I I saw this I saw this. There was no there was no there was no isms, you know, about her. There was no stick. It just like, okay, what's the issue? Let's talk about it. And she heard you out. One of the people that called said that she to when the last 25 years, 30 uh 35 years of her life. She was basically 30 years in America as a as you know from birth to she married in 1959. Then she moved to Australia with my father-in-law till 1990 and then they came back and she passed away here. So she was 30 in in in America, New York, New Jersey and all that. Then 30 in Melbourne, Australia and then again 35 years in in Brooklyn. So someone said that while she was in Brooklyn the last 35 years they invited her to come to Riker's Island to do MIT to to to inspire talk to the the women and Right. And the lady that took her there was she would go regularly but she brought this my mother-in-law as a guest. So the lady, you know, did her regular thing, whatever. Then she asked my mother-in-law, "Would you like to say something?" And my mother was fine. And and she said, and she said to the people, she asked them, "What do you think about God?" In other words, she totally didn't do the expected normal thing, you know, do you want to put on film? Do you want to light Shabas candles? You know, and things like that. And then she engaged them in a with a song. She sang for them. And the the woman who's an intelligent fine you know labavature woman who knows what she's doing said it changed her all her entire attitude how to do the muy the outreach you know with this is this was I think at Riker's Island okay at prison again what what do I hear what do I see in this story that that that enamorates me is that she didn't come with formalities. The whole idea of coming with formalities is a hindrance. It's a big hindrance. She broke through this the the formalities, the convention, and she didn't have to break through it. That's who she was. So, I want to inspire ask everyone and to to think about these things. Melbourne, she was there. This is for for uh the slation that will be Sunday nightm in Melbourne. I wish I could be there but this is our participation. Mayhem helped the nama of Esther Basa should have an aliyah should bring Msiah should be a gutter better a good advocate for her entire family children grandchildren great grandchildren and we should continue doing what she wanted which is to learn Perkyas to learn and not just learn but to live Pirkyas this was something that she taught as Her number one uh go to was Pasia should come now.