Misleading Arguments

today is your dal with kislev the rebels anniversary in the rebecca so we say mazatov not just to them but ourselves because at sadiq and zadekis are part of the jewish people the inspiration for the jewish people and if it's their money in it has a relevance to us so muscle tough to each and every one of you for your anniversary now we're on page 193 we'll read the kit sir they're our shop yesterday really what what i'm sorry we're in page 189 in the kitchen what we started yesterday the mimer the third oh you're right you're right i'm sorry oh i'm sorry wait a minute wait a minute oh so actually we we finished the mimer yesterday i'm sorry okay okay so on page 189 thank you i could we can always rely on moshe to give us the right place beautiful anyway i like that i like how my students are sharp and they they catch their teacher by mistakes it's good alcopon in yesterday gave us a heavy dose at least i think it's a heavy dose of musser and we needed to hear it and hopefully we will walk away and learn something from it so let's see what he says in the kitchen how he recaps it [Music] yesterday enough a man by nature is fearful that his friend that another person should not know about his matters [Music] including in that is his bad behavior yaakov i made a mistake we're starting now with the 13th mimer i apologize i gave you the wrong information in a moment but read right now we're reading the kinser at the end of the twelfth mimer okay maida shramayam commander boss of adam the rabbit brought the rasha brought the kamura at least one should have as as much fear as one has for a human being for hashem man through his speech and his movements to us of his movements megala he reveals a boy the deep evil and bad that he has within him if he has that within him your speech and your and your body movements be speak that ugly behavior that ugly condition is you want to hide you think you're doing it in private i'm going to publicize it your herp or your shonda publicly the yetzer hara through his his quickness his alertness is his rushing mecabul he receives the stusm of the yetzer horror um and he convinces man that no one will find out and you could do whatever you want let's go now to 191 mimer you'd gimmel paid it off the rabbit continues that shop has not finished his psychological analysis of this condition more so another ill evil of of a sickness that a malady that one has mashua very familiar we're always right in hebrew we call that whatever i do i no it it can't be a syndicate it's ex come on i'll explain it to you man by nature whatever the matter is good or bad pain initial deus whether it be um opinions bain in your shell medicine whether it be in character issues and conduct beijing whether it's matters between men and another person like they know unlocks me whether they're matters between one and one self image he knew who taylor me actually likes me if the issue is a good thing he says i get credit for it it's because of me i'm the big i'm the greatest gift to mankind since the slice of cheese but if it is something that is evil in bed he knew it taylor and the yakuza gossip it's my fault my fault it's my friend's fault it's my parents fault it's my rabbi's fault it's my grandmother's fault it's everyone else's fault except me says that ever the condition is self-indulgence self-love self-pity because by nature we love ourselves who comes first without refining ourselves the self i want what's best for me i want to pleasure myself i want to feel good everyone else take a take takes a second seat second opinion second idea anyway so therefore so he says one's [Music] he doesn't feel at all that he is guilty of this act elohim he says i'm actually right for doing it i'm actually right now am i not guilty i need to do it this way and he explains why next paragraph harbor yoga's immaturity within him causes him to do certain things it's also true that bad friends cause him to do things and that evidence says look most when they come together his immaturity and his bad friends that this is so interesting because we have this today with a lot of the youth either if the friends influence them or they're immature or if you get a if you get a good two punch you get to both about the best of both worlds where it's both together and then you're really in trouble because they don't have the cycle they don't have the maturity just to realize what's going on here is so so bad and detrimental for oneself so i decide they're like babies like they're immature right and by the way it could be an old man of being mature in a certain issue so the immaturity aspect and the friend and the friends you have the influences and i want to go into this but sometimes you have people who end up in bad relationships breaking relationships and it's because of friends you have to be very careful with what you share with friends even people who are your real good friends but if they have a certain sheet that's a certain opinion about a certain area that's not torah not and and they're going to they're going to tell you you know you shouldn't be in this relationship but you should be and on and on you have to be very careful to discern even with a friend what you tell them and especially and not only what you tell them if you even if you share it with them which not only should you share everything to follow what they say not just because they're a friend or frankly even if they're your rabbi or teacher it has to be looked at very carefully now you'll say what i mean if here's rabbi if the rabbi says so and so isn't he basing it on tata that's i don't want to go into that that discussion because it's a whole it opens up a whole discussion you know someone went by the rebel once the rebels spoke about making mushpm you know i say look rav never came out with a campaign i think in 1986 everyone should get themselves mashipia but someone went by the rebel for dollars and he said something to the rebel the episode like you know who told you to do this he said my mashpier the rabbi said get yourself another spear so you know you're going to say oh they'll bother you up in those batteries i like to take it at face value sometimes you must be it gives you bad advice it's not the advice for you it's the advice of someone else and because he doesn't take the time or doesn't have the time to discern and really look careful at your situation he gives us advice that he gave to someone else and it's not it's not for you so every situation has to be taken carefully so why do i say this because we learn here in the mind about bad friends bad influence so it brought them to mind this idea what is a bad friend mean only someone who who says bad things is no it could be someone who's really a good genuine friend of yours but nevertheless they they either don't know you that well or they don't know the situation that well and therefore their advice and this situation doesn't apply and one shouldn't feel i can't be the friend afterwards you know the feed the cadaver writes his famous mimer which i think we learned once ibrahimovic 1924 where he speaks about the three steps for giving criticism very important reminder 1924 and one of the things that he says this is there is if a person who gives criticism and the person is upset that the person who the criticism was given to even a spouse even a friend etc they don't listen to what the what you say what you say and you it bothers you then you are not genuinely giving criticism and you shouldn't give the criticism because it shows that that it shows that you have an agenda and if you have an agenda you're in no position of giving criticism and this is a very very important thing that when you when when we give criticism we should be genuine how you genuine you should be a genderless it needs to be the mango indian le mano not because it touches me a certain way or touches my kids a certain way or touches my community you know the famous argument don't go outside this way because everyone is going to speak about us now i i'm not i'm not of those that you know poo poo that completely i don't because there is a concept called minigame the customs of the place and one needs to be respectful at the same time we need to explain that we don't do it because of others we do it because of hashem because what's right and what's wrong in hashem's eyes now notwithstanding that there is a community and and and we should be respectful of the community so they don't have to be mutually exclusive in fact they can go well hand in hand the rebber for example they say that when he went into his room his room his little room there in 770 where he died where he learned and you know there all day working and learning and answering people's letters and having this there when he had yojitas and all that he would take his kapot and his hat off right away after minha he would go into me mint was 3 15 3 30 minutes of finish he would go right back into his office and he was like take us take it off right when he came out he came out with a hat and a jacket there was a certain way that that he that he that he felt that he needs to appear before people so you know i'm just saying i'm just saying there is a sensitivity that ever spoke once a fabrega i remember about the korean god the garments of the korean goddamo and he made the point that the coin godu had garments specifically for the way he appeared in in public because he's the korean god the job warrants and requires a certain type of dress when you're not on the job meaning when you're in your own chambers and you're not in the public's eye you don't have to dress that way of course you still dress near some and and like i mentioned all that but so i'm just saying that when we talk about hawaii we must know that that um the issue so let's go back to the text because it's very interesting so he says so what if he had if it's immaturity and it's the bad friends or both that cause them to do the the the the bad behavior and have the the the the warped opinions will be asked me ocean possession of he is guilty of choosing such a community and such bad friends now here comes the argument my parents moved here territory when i was too young to say no and i don't like it here and i don't want to be part of this culture the dilemma with the teenagers inherits his throat and there's some truth to that they were too young to object to the parents moving there so you know but here we're talking about a situation that's not like that the situation is where alabama is he is guilty of swivel [Music] all he has to do the one who's doing these things is find some kind of fault with others stems from one thing self-love i must justify what i'm doing so i will always find justification why because i love myself so much what do you mean i love myself so much in other words the idea of going against the grain making yourself uncomfortable that it's not the way it's so unnatural that's what the river says it's so unnatural for man to do that but yet that's what hashem wants so the rabbit's saying here that this condition that we're identifying here is normal it's teva but yet it's not an excuse because we are guided by toyota so that's interesting so in other words let's say let's say for a girl a non-jew who doesn't have this mission there's nothing wrong for him to justify his existence and and to want to you know be comfortable at all times for a yid it's not about self it's about hashem that's what he says here let's continue says that every now in this detail even bali chuva who've done chuva make a mistake although there they are with complete regret for the no good that they did it previously she also should be whether they did or they spoke or maksha voice of or the thoughts that they have in hurry and the bad thoughts and they have real regrets [Music] and they cry with the frustration and bitterness of the heart inside they're broken i you know and i do chuva i hate what i did i was wrong i didn't know and that's it hashem forgive me and you go on [Music] he says nevertheless what did they walk away with i didn't know any better so what i did is not my fault so they're being mastic assassinate they're justifying and making themselves correct well might see comma separate do you mind immuning yourself please they find all kinds of excuses to hang their son i was this i was that i was here i was there here's another excuse i'm hot-headed i'm hot blooded by nature what does it say i'm a type a i'm a type b and a type c and a type d all the excuses so what do you want from me i was born that way from my mother's womb i get very excited i get very angry i get this i get that here's this part the argument the excuse since i am i'm boiling i'm by nature i'm a moroccan the moroccans are hot-headed what do you want that's the culture sorry i hope i didn't find anyone who has a moroccan wife if you were relatives but you know what i'm saying emotions overtake the person his heart becomes on fire heat it up and it can't stop himself from being angry or speaking or thinking inappropriate thoughts the kind of minds of boyle he can't he can't stop himself from doing that we did have the discussion yesterday moshe right the charlatan not the show the detroister i was born into a family of schneisters my father was a shyster my grandfather was a shyster go back to europe go back here i'll show you like i traced it so what do you want from me it's in my blood you know we're saying yiddish what do you want from me loving was my grandfather they say what's worse than a anar and i was a fool an alterna an old fool you know it's enough that i'm a fool but an alternative that my father and grandfather were fools or that i became an alternate when you were young you were now you're a fool okay you remained a gnar even when you're 75 my gosh that's really work bad you know so here we're talking about a situation where a person will justify so here we're talking about about truva every one of us in our trooper but we we look back and we say the reason i did that is because i was raised in such a climate i come to such a parent to such a community such a rabbi such culture and such a finances says that ebb it's all excuses all excuses and it has to bother you to to to come to a place where you don't justify what you did because of the excuses let's continue ever says we're talking about someone not you see we're talking about someone who knows better motion not someone who doesn't know he knows it's forbidden to do a and bc whatever it is he destroys his soul and does it anyway and that ever says that sometimes his behavior weakens his body he's talking about all kinds of probably sexual indulgences and things like that or even eating whatever whatever whatever the issue is eating drink unhealthy food grace fast foods [Music] so why doesn't he stop himself if you know you're getting sick why don't you stop yourself because he can't control the heat of his body the passion the boiling anger well upon me next page in a 193 who taylor colleen you know russia lay brazil here's another excuse the rashtraba is is is is like creeping into our mind and giving us you know what people use as excuses what's the next excuse that he says he says share my friend it's my friend kiploini veto my friend convinced me my friend who i like it's so bright he convinced me and he taught me and he this and he that over asked me but i myself well i also can't i wouldn't do it but because i have such a good friend who's so smart and so good and so genuine and he told me that this is a good investment and and you just have to sign and just have to lie a little bit and do this and that and no one will know therefore i did it so what so so so this is an interesting paragraph that starts off saying it speaks in the beginning here in other words he's talking he's talking about people who've done trouble for whatever the the issue is nevertheless they they they look back at what they did and they said i was justifying doing it says that ashab that's a mistake even if you you've done truth fine but the justification that what you did then that you say is right and good that's your mistake and he tells us why that was that was the emphasis in this paragraph next paragraph the ms is not sure means his excuses with he repeats it's really only because of one thing he fools himself self-love this is the cause why he he he he he justifies himself it boils down to one thing i love myself it's all about me me me and me that's what it's about well what about the argument that we mentioned that it's my boiling blood and it's my nature and i was born that way ain't a tiny bahamas it's not really a truthful argument why is where does it come from from the animal drive that's full of passion which can overpower the natural soul the zettacles and that's why you we were created by allah i mean on this [Music] and have it overpower the the natural soul you'll notice it's interchangeable here yaakov between the words nephesh activists and nepheshabami's okay because the nefesh habamis is the teva other when we say that a jew is never shall the kiss is the shama that we mean that the exam and his essence but outside of his essence what drives man the nephesh obama is the nephew shativis if not for this avodah to subjugate the natural derives the natural soul we would not be created at all hashem doesn't need mr einstein guess what he doesn't need us he wants us for one perspective he has enough smart angels and souls and celestial beings if he wants smart he can get him over there that's why by the way the altered rep in chapter 36 in tanya when he talks about why was the world created and it gives the reason to make a deer but an abode for hashem on earth so the rabbit this rabbit in his mind of rosh hashanah of 19 of um 1905 which in hebrews tophra islam above known in khabad as the famous series of my murderer known as hemsheikh samarva so in the first mimer there he discusses what the ariza brings in is brought the idea of taimei habria reasons for creation and he brings three reasons and one of the reasons this begins he brings this what says begin why did god create the world because he wants us to know him and the reason on this reason is this really the reason why god created the world to know him who who knows god better us or the angels the angels who knows us hashem better us or the souls as they are on high who knows hashem better the celestial beings who are who are pure compared to what we go through of course they so how can desire say that the reason why hashem created the world is we should know him so that ashab is mosby in that mind a very important reminder rashaab says that it is a reason but it's not the ultimate reason you're innocent you remember learning this you're eating some baits baits you remember learning the reasons hello um no i that it is a reason because the zoya says it's a reason right hello but it's not the ultimate reason what is the ultimate reason islamic chapter 36 in tanya god wants to have a home here get get started get working why it's a taivo it's a spiritual lust and as the language of the altar is nick kanekasha when it comes to a sp an infatuation you can't ask why why are you infatuated because i'm crazy i don't have a reason i'm just infatuated hashtag i'm at a spiritual infatuation to create the world and say right here he wants us to do mixes he wants us to make up a place for him why the whole question why doesn't begin in the world of infatuation the whole question why begins in the world of reasoning including in the in the world of the reasoning that what god wanted this world so we should appreciate him so they're out there ashab says so in the world of reasoning the reason that the eight's higher gives that god created the world for the purpose that we should know him here is a good reason but that's already the world of reason when you go beyond you transcend the world of reason that's not a reason because reasoning doesn't make sense there so so what what is it he had a tiger yes yaakov says if we weren't busy with all that um uh billion and and making this world and we be falling into a virus that's what keeps us out of trouble oh yeah to respond to that would take another half hour that that is not but briefly hashem didn't make a world to keep us out of a virus he had that already with the angels what he needs us for if that's the reason he had it already again and first of all it does in the eighth highest it doesn't mention that at all that's not one of the reasons given the it's high-end there's three three reasons that's not one of them but even if we were to argue that uh some race we could find the source for that and and maybe we can but that's not the old that's not the ultimate reason because the same question that ashab asks on the zohar on the beginning that ashab would ask on this too and then there's another section another another there's more to elaborate to answer your question but i don't want to do it right now let's continue so the shop says is i i got off on this tangent because he says here look at the line the lulu is it were not for the avodah that were charged to subjugate our natural self avi we wouldn't be created at all la jolla never cloud no one needs us god doesn't need us to just be a flute and tootin intellectual and and you know he wants us to work and to change ourselves to change the way you know that there's a famous is a famous um var to the previous rebel and the obeying that the whole purpose of hasidis is is to change your natural needles there's two things there's me this tivium there's there's there's uh natural middles and there's the nature of needles it's two separate things natural middles are like the the behavior that is that is not refined then there is refined hate behavior but if you're accustomed to it and you're and it's your norm you have to change that itself and that's why dalton ever says in the chapters give me a second abby one second that's why dalton ever says in chapter 15 and tanya according to gemara that if you learn only a hundred times the section of the gomura you review it but you don't hazard it one hundred and one times as they alter that but the gemara quotes it you're a vivid you're not an avid hashem you're not a servant you're a loyal why because in those days dr deb explains the custom wants to learn everything a hundred times so learning the things of a hundred times you didn't break your nature that's that's normal one more time just one time more but it's breaking your nature oh then you consider the servant yes avi yeah so i hear that we have self-love we justify and we have to with gabe overcome our animal nature and uh and cling to our uh holy nature but this the the it doesn't seem to be a delineation of the steps of the house to mid gabe you know like good person wants to lose weight he has to walk a half hour a day three times a week it's just a how okay so a we have to read we have to continue seeing what the rashop says maybe he'll tell us and if not we'll we'll we never talk about it because this is full of what of you're full of many many pages answering your question but you're right in your observation let's continue so he says you see that this is what i told you earlier there are plenty of angels that serve god with loving god and fearing god willing to be bitter then they're constantly in a subservience to hashem so why was man created ella the answer is and what if the person is so hot-headed and so passionate so hot-blooded that the person even this argument that we just used to subdue the person's nephesha bombings doesn't work this doesn't work says you know what my friends if you really are in touch with your nephew's yellow kiss it has stronger clothes to overpower the mesh and it has the ability to control your natural based on the camel's strength is its load all right it's heavy it's heavy but this is the truth hashem gives each and every one of us an avoider and sometimes it's so heavy it's so hard we have to be much hazard ourselves and knowledge hashem says you have something that no one else has and you can do it and the other person can't do it and that's why you have it and i have it and the other person doesn't have it that ever writes that i've explained in when the soldiers that were that were injured in the yom kippur war came to new york to tour and they made a stop they wanted to be in 7-7 they meet the rebel they ever spoke to them the rabbit said that you shouldn't be called um what's the word injured um the injured in the influence of israel thereby said you are mitsuya israel you're the most excellent of israel and the rabbit did not just say it to make them feel good he went around to explain i'll be kabula mamas you have to see the sikha how in fact this is the mitsuyuu and what is it based on his grandfather's great grandfather writes and therefore and you could learn it yourself and check it out with the tsam it says someone who was in it was invalid to be a cohen in the basement because he had a blemish really comes from a higher place but the r is so high that it cannot find comfort in this world so it comes out in a blemish what do we understand from this that that whether we ourselves are blemished you know we have a we have an injury or whether we have a child with an issue or whether we have a friend with an issue and all that etc that's a slikhaas it's a mission it's an opportunity again to wish for these things it's against the toyota but if from on high hashem gives it to you then it's for you to work with in a positive way and not like some people out here say get rid of the kid why should you suffocate at the whole family because of this one child islam there's a shita from rebels from rebels i don't want to go into it now because it really irks me in a bad way where they'll advise parents to institutionalize their their child because it's going to be a shame when they have to go for for shidduchim on and on i'm not saying you know sometimes sometimes there is validity for institutionalization you know i understand but that's the reason that's the reason yes are you talking about situations like if you have a down syndrome yes sort of thing i've heard about cases yes yes yes and not just babies hillel teenagers [Music] yeah it's uh it's uh it's it seems to be an astonishing inconsistent i i i i i you know it it's it goes so deep that you know i don't want to talk about it it's too emotional um it's interesting that i've used the word rashford very interesting look what he says look what he says here yoni and since one was born with this passion and hot bloodedness and anger that he's able to overcome i i it's very interesting to me this i just this language is tama before he brings the gemara reform goblet based on the the the donkey the load is based on the donkey's back the ability to carry implying that this is the way it is why does he why does he use the word the stamina here i don't know but that's what he uses here but one thing's for sure from what we learned now we'll finish with this is that a yid must know that whatever challenges you have in our life it's it's an opportunity it's an opportunity that that's it okay and those that and i'm telling you those that are able to that take that and and work with it succeed it doesn't mean to say you know the illness is going away and the problem's going away no okay let's not be you know i mean neighbors that can do everything and we'll do everything but but the question is how do you go through life how do you deal with it with a loss hospital how do you deal with a covet we've been speaking about this for months how do you deal with this issue you know i mean you know i'm reminding myself now this week last year i told you i was in warsaw and then i went on to moscow and today i was communicating with some people from moscow about something that i need to know about whatever from something i'm writing and i'm reflecting on it wow what a year i just was standing over there in varsha and then i went to my mother's where she was born in makov and then to my grandmother's uh school that she had her wedding in and the rabbi and i know the rabbis family out here in borough park great grandchildren and all that and and what and here we are a year later i walked down 13th avenue i'm sure you have it all over it's sad it's so breaks to heart businesses are closed for sale signs for rent signs it's a mess so the fun game and if you orient yourself to that you'll be happier you you you'll be more successful and you will do things maybe including reorienting your business practices and and you know and adjusting sometimes we get stuck in a certain rut you know and you need to excuse the expression a kick in the pants well hashem gave us a very big kick in the pants this year with the pandemic okay and now take that kick and and turn it around to be an aide for us kevin have a great day lehigh to everyone we should only have simchas we'll see everyone tomorrow zagrez andre layman to your father bye