Make an Accounting of Your Life

we're on page 129 we're starting a new mimer my michaels the eighth mimer so the last idea that we're going to get there yeah so let's go to the bottom of 127 actually the kids are call us all eden from the perspective of their neshama and from the perspective of uh the uh learning type of affiliate mixes every year comes from the premiums the inwardness of god's will so what does he accomplish he increased i'm sorry i said wrong we did we did do that we were in we were in uh uh my merchandise and we were up to the kitchen the first kisser in my mercado no no no i did not do it no maybe maybe you did it [Music] okay we didn't do it anyway let me just finish this kitchen over here so when a yidd commits a sin he draws tosephis haara more additional emanation mahaprabhu's in other words hashem sets yahini for each nashama a certain amount of energy from plenus when you commit a saying you do an interesting thing you draw down some more of the premiers which seems to be great but guess what the night vanita berosh avonseques who takes and you get and you get that but it's nif suck it ends in other words basically you can't win by doing a sin even though you're drawing down energy it's going to terminate so which would you rather have terminating energy or eternal energy which maybe doesn't have that oomph it's just the norm but it's with you of course something that stays with you that's good let's continue the clayton so before one does truth hashem does not enjoy one's total mitzvahs before one does trouba and hence you don't draw down what we call revealed light we want revelation you know just to have uh energy come into the world but we have no benefit from it is is not this is not where it's at and the result of that is if you dedicate yourself instead of to hashem to the negative side god forbid then the negative side will bite you will come back to haunt you so in other words hate and transgression is not only a place of darkness but it's a place that will come back to hurt you so therefore why engage long-term why engage in that if long-term it's going to bring issues let's continue 129 which is dealing with the d6 my modern from from 5 through 11 that um the woman's voice horror as that's mayor for the joining of the thirsty of associated with the thirst thirst is terms this means when the emanation of malcolm's the 10th sphere its legs metaphorically speaking descend into the lower worlds called the world of recreation formation and and action from the combination of the satiated which is the associated with his with its indulgences when you have that joint imats may um with the with the with the part of of the self which in spiritual terms penis models which is hungry because it came from a place of vasilis of of holiness and now it's in a lower level so it's thirsty to get back to to taste and to drink and to be back in the realm where it was very comfortable and inspired the kabul is magdusha so the hey malchus is thirsty to receive more vitality from holiness zelda says this interpretation of mine is based on rashi's explanation of the word suffolk right remember there's a word in that possible suffolk according to rashi it means khibor joining so that ever sees that as wanting to rejoin where it came from and to have more energy that ever brings the perish of known as the radak he says the word suffice doesn't mean joining but the word suffice comes is associated with the word with it means multitude maha indian so the restaurants question is what does it mean that the state of being rather satiated increases more is it it increases more than the state of samaya what does that mean let's see what he says the idea is known again here he he summarizes in a way ideas that he said earlier and and we'll see if he does it in a clearer way hopefully he does he says the nourishment of extraneous forces the nourishment of extraneous forces negative energy bad creeper evil all those are synonymous we are basic it you could it's in two ways one is one way is that they receive from the backside and the external which we learned earlier like throwing something in the back and the drags from the you know and all that it comes through the multitude of contractions the prince there's something called the external vessels of malchus we're not going to go into it but that's where it's the external part of mountains and when they are contracted when the when the energy from theirs contracted more and more and more what's left over is a trickle of energy and we call that the back side they have the hinder side and who gets that the clip of the returning that's one way number two right mark it down for oiphenous says the second way that clipper gets its energy for elio they receive from something that's called the supernova peripheral energy here it's not it this energy only is not the acharyan of panemias the first one is it's the back side of plenus there's i'm looking at you i see you you see me i smile we communicate that's face to face benimius panim imagine i turned around and i'm teaching you i'm teaching you right i'm teaching you and you hear me but my backside's to you that's the acharyan of my face that's the first way the original base the way the clippers receive energy is to begin with from the makif from the face of the marquis but it's not the face of the plea me what does that mean there is the face of the preemie which which its orientation is to begin with towards happiness kindness invitation then there's the face of an energy that to begin with says i don't reckon with details it's makif it's superficial to begin with i'm giving let's let's take an example a lecturer one lecturer decides tonight he's going to teach details and he's going to present details and he's going to make himself in a realm that's relevant to details so why do the students succeed in understanding his details because he placed himself in the realm of details take another teacher who decides you know what today today i'm going to teach my students but i'm going to teach them from my perspective which is way beyond their perspective and i'm not going to make a change and lower myself to the way they think i'm going to overwhelm them so so to begin with the fact that the students don't understand the details is not because they don't understand the details it's because the realm is a different realm i wanna i wanna i wanna make sure you you got this point because this is the difference between one and two the two i found them whether the clippers get from the haram of pneumous that's the first way or number two they get from a different experience altogether ie the market and the market so but this face is an encompassing face it's a superficial face hilo you want to say something no no okay your thing is on can we continue so let's again let's read the second line the iphone obeys the second or a from the second way [Music] who she mccabley to show you how hashem has such patience and ashram didn't lose his patience with all the sins that were done during that time as and he continues shakola [Music] and they repeatedly angered hashem and those generations received their nourishment their energy the stability from a level called the lengthening of the anger okay is plural it should have says nf it should have said the the the length you know he lengthens his his anger to both wicked and ander and tadikyo man she explains he says the word of him implies there's two type of faces a happy and smiley face and a sour face is one type of eric um and for the wicked ones he lengthens their their their punishment you're gonna you're gonna get punished for a very long time because of what you did and he enforces he postpone no i'm sorry and he postpones the the the the the punishment for olam haba and that's why they have it good here that's pretty honest let's continue the next page so once one second one second so so we have so the rabbit so he asks a question he let's let's repeat he brings the two interpretations of the word um of the word uh svice rashi so he says i've explained to you what based on what rashi says joining we spent time in it now he starts saying there's another interpretation his voice means increase so he says if so what is the meaning of the in the verse that the state of sati being satiated is increased and and the state of samaya has not increased like what's going on over here so that's his question he puts aside the question and he starts tackling the whole idea of of erecha of the because we're dealing with dealing with a negative remember remember that the state of um of rava the rebels said in this mime until now is not a healthy place of being satiated with with good things it means you're associated with indulgences so from there he says what leads to indulgences he says one and two and now he's that now he starts speaking about this whole idea to um a verifying now let's continue we're still in the middle of a thought page 131. okay in simple english infinite the infinity of god's light of god's energy what does that mean in simple words says that this means it is it's a position of hashem it's an energy hashem that is removed from the worldly experience and not just our world but allah most all worlds if you compare moisture the iran suff as hashem is in his infinite state of light to where it comes the world's islamists there's no comparison and therefore he says the the navi says i hashem i do not change shalom is there there is no iota of change in hashem before and after creation which is so different than the human experience before you lived in betrayment you didn't live there now that you live there you're a different person the community the environment the the housing the cars the the streets the mountains and everything else the way of teva nature is that before and after you go through a transformation of some to some degree here we say i am hashem i do not change bring down the world bring on angels bring on people bring out whatever you want i still remain the same why because i'm ain't surf the category the definition of a god as a creator is an infinite creator and not infinity that depends on the situation but inherently infinite so when you talk about an inherent infinite god and energy it doesn't reckon itself with what it experiences it yes it accommodates okay let's use it accommodates experience but it's not fathomed and changed by experience hello is everyone with me i know it's two in the afternoon and maybe you want to shuffle a little bit but this is a deep thought this is very important for basic jewish philosophy you know we just lost rebbe sachs he was a philosopher this is a one-on-one in jewish philosophy in philosophy in general and jewish philosophy in particular let's continue to smoking cloud why why hello why taka why indeed is there no change in hashem before and after creation so the basic answer is smoking cloud because everything takes no place it doesn't takes any place if it it it doesn't fathom him it's not fisa what are you when are you moved what are you when are you changed if something impacts you so even if walking on the street and bet chemist compared to chicago or or baltimore or wherever you're coming from and all that there's a difference there's a different you're right the trees look differently the streets look different the people looked their differences and and when you are and when you're fathomed by it you're you're impressed by it you're you're you're in a position where your mindset is that i'm going to accept the differences you change you change my osmosis subconsciously you changed this is so but the average day but i called it is aims of meaning it's an experience of god infinity of god means that nothing fathoms me and whatever you do and wherever i will be in whatever experience i still remain the way i am in this in myself and you know you find such a different sources on these people there are you know there are people may be rare but there are people that wherever they are they're just the same they they don't change because of their situation and that's a great accomplishment it i should say it's a great accomplishment if the situation is is is the right one and and you know they don't need to change where many times it's important not to change i mean to to accom to accommodate the situation and engage in the situation because if you don't engage in the situation you're outside of the situation so you know so i think about this a lot you know i i've been here over like 24 years i remember when 9 11 was okay 9 11. i remember when bashkin got out had nothing to do like i'm happy i'm sad here i'm happy here but you know i go to my house and that's it i'm just saying because my position is not such that i need to be involved in both of those things where you know i'm an active uh participant because that's not what i'm involved with what i'm saying is so a person can also be unfathomed if they you know if they remain to themselves and they don't have a responsibility in a way to to to others in in a way with which requires them to come out of themselves and get invested so ain't self that's an example the muscle is ain't self is this way too let's continue and now he brings no gam ke master kosovo if there's a possibility a very matiful boy what impact will you have on him and the and the multitude of your sins mata what will you do to him nada so to so doctor if you will be righteous from the word sadaka said it's a doctor what are you giving to him you think you're actually adding something to hashem by giving by being to doctor and what does he take from your hand explains that that's the end of the possible in ilf says the rashford this is a basic foundational thought in habakkuk because i mean it you know goes back to jewish philosophy but those that are below on this earth the action the activities of our activities [Music] cloud don't fathom hashem at all if you think if we think that hashem is tickled by our good or bad we don't understand what hashem is all about yes yes avi but don't we have a concept we want to give her so if we want to give not worth hashem if he's going to have knockouts then it's going to affect him in a certain way he may not be permanent may not affect his but why should we care about giving if none of that activities affect them one way or the other very good question your question is asked in hasidis and the answer to the question is like you said you said one word the mohus it depends if we're talking about the mohus or the mitsuyot in other words when god decides when hashem says i want to have nachas from what you're doing then what you do becomes valuable to give him nachas when the posix says matsudakto matitinlay all of these very powerful words and ideas it means bereft of god wanting that from our perspective avi from our perspective you don't add anything to the godhead nothing so therefore what what is the what's the hazal say what would be the difference if hashem said i want the oil to light or i want something not all the vinegar as an expression the vinegar vinegar vinegar doesn't bring light oil does when you light it right but if hashem decided he wants vinegar to to light it would happen so in other words it's all goes back to the abuse this and what we say here we don't mean that hashem doesn't want myself in him what we mean is that hashem says that the myself [Music] should be generated by and oriented with the sensation that god wants this not that i decide or we decide that we want it that's what the means we cannot create the the the that god should kind of like us more it doesn't work that way so that's why when we say that hashem is the and and what's the logic because hashem is not is this hashem a person who who a person who's oriented and and drawn and um configured by what people say about him or her or what experiences the person is involved with make a difference there's a change and a real change it's not a fake change by hashem he's not he's the creator so the answer avi is the difference between the creator versus the created so from the perspective of the created myself activities of us here below have no impact whatsoever he's not fathomed from the perspective of the creator boy do does it count so that's the question what is our mindset are we coming with the creator's mindset as being creations you understand us as creations what is our reality is our reality creator or is our reality creation and that's up to us that's where hashem gives free will to every single person to either instill himself the creator prototype that that is what he lives with and who he is or no he is a creation and and he's adapted the mindset of creation and creature and hence as an adjunct you put a little salt and pepper in ie the creator once in a while you do something for the creator but really what you're all you're doing you're always riding on creation mode oh in that situation we couldn't say any hashem easy there is a shinoi but the verse says says that the reason is because hashem is the creator therefore the tactic and it takes a welcome cloud let's see what he says further okay it says like this let's look at this [Music] the way of hashem is perfect the word of hashem is pure he is a shield to all those who take refuge in him and it says if his ways are perfect how much more so must he be must he be dr drakov are his ways so if you're if the verse says that hashem's ways right the word dark koi ho khal concludes its thought if god's ways are sincere who allah has come of akama how much more so he who makes the ways is surely sincere so why did hashem give us mitzvahs ralph says he gave us mitzvahs to refine creatures we are unrefined we're born like a wild the donkey with all the other verses sashem says i'm gonna give you guys mitzvahs you do these mitzvahs you learn if someone shifts lord of the animal from the neck like you're supposed to o or someone who slaughters the animal from the nape which is invalid puzzle you got to be kidding hashem really cares where you slaughter an animal says the madrish avalo gabby or himself ain't no indian again clown but one second she says does does it make a difference to hashem where you slaughter the animal from either the neck or the nape javi what's happening so the major says that's the answer is no it doesn't make a difference hashem doesn't really care only because to refine people so somehow slaughtering the animal from the front from the neck teaches you something of being more refined whatever that is that's that we have to you know explore but but really hashem doesn't care this way or that way ava gabriel himself ain't no indian again says that but to the infinite light in other words according to this medicine listen to this heaven according to this madrid where is god tickled when god decides that he wants the people to be mentioned to be decent to be refined so there he says these things do do make a difference to me but in god's infinity which is transcends let's use the word transcends transcends refinement or non-refinement it makes no difference ain't no gate in your cloud the rabbit has a mimer in 1952 postures from spot him i believe where the rabbit tackles this indian this idea here and what i saw there i i i i it remained when i was a student many years ago in zappochrany yeshiva it remained with me the rest of my life the rabbit says over there you know what hashem to this matrix to this exact madras you know what hashem ki you know what you know it tickles hashem you know what he cares about he says what god is looking for is as jonathan as your innocent sacks although vashallah i shared with you if you yesterday said instead of self-improvement say other improvement instead of self-esteem other esteem get rid of that self break the self transform the self and yiddish in other words what does hashem want in the midst i i i can i can take a a slaughtering knife and i can slaughter an animal but i do it but by the nape it's much easier for dude by the neck it's very difficult comes along and says you want it to be kosher shrita you want it to be kosher you have to slaughter for the neck but that's uncomfortable i don't know how to do it break yourself change yourself oh that's what he wants in the midst of right he wasn't hey look i'll dive and i can dive into three hours from now to get up early in the morning when you want to sleep in and you say no i'm gonna dive in early that that just gives you an example that's called breaking yourself going against your your comfort so the answer in english is ash what does hashem want go against your comfort zone whatever you do and wherever you are in your life young middle-aged old you have to ask yourself the one question if you want to know if you're on the page if you're in the right direction if you're over the hashem am i going against my comfort zone that's the answer in a nutshell you could pour and spill milk honey uh orange juice anything on it that's all add-ons flavors then the kuda right the essence then the kuda here is avi what's the good siddhu brexit and this if you know in the chabad was a mainstay when we looked at ourselves or others and you wanted to know is this person really someone to emulate and to learn from it wasn't how much knowledge the person had and if it was whether the person could be as less knowledge than many other people but this person went against the comfort zone his comfort zone that's a special person because it's so hard to go against your comfort zone it's so easy to do something that you enjoy doing tanya chapter 15 what does the outfit have to say quotes to the murder if the custom was to learn something a hundred times and you learned it a hundred times says the gemara dr rabbit quotes it in chapter 15 you're called low ovate you're not a servant of god you're not a servant of god why a hundred times my dear friend in those days the norm was to study something a hundred times so studying something a hundred times does not mean that you broke the comfort zone if you studied one more time 101 times just one more time it says that your mother you called iva de la kim a servant of hashem why because you went against the comfort zone and that's that's that's where it's at that's it that's what's happening everything and everything exert yourself beyond your what you're comfortable with and that's what it says over here and that's the meaning of the medicine what does hashem whether you slaughter from the neck or the nape the answer is also benefits to refine people says the rebel his mind of 1952 what does that mean that means to break your comfort zone and why is that important who decides that's important ainsof infinity god says i want that hashem decided that he gets a high and he gets a kick and he gets an elation from when i yield goes against the grain and and and this and this is a to every single yid makes no difference right this doesn't this doesn't depend if you if you're learning your street from kylo if you're learning you're not learning at work you're middle of work and it's easy for you to learn a little bit before davening and a little bit after you come home in the evening whatever you go to minhamaru what about the middle of the day you're middle of drawing black moisture a beautiful piece of art or checking fiddle in the mezuzah potato and all of a sudden it's a quarter it's a quarter after two and there's a sheer see this and you're right in the middle and you'd rather not and you and you stop and you and you and you put aside your work to learn so you're going against your comfort zone that's that counts but i'm checking messages and i'm checking filling and i'm writing to say potato but that's your job so you're doing a good job a holy job no problem but that's nothing special there's nothing special and the guy learning in basement is day and night that's his job he's getting a check he's getting some shekels right so in every aspect the barometer to know whether we're in or were you still outside is the brech the rebels were the breath the the subjugation of the of the self okay uh we'll stop here because it's almost eight and um and it's a new not a new thing but it'll continue we'll just continue tomorrow any comments or questions on what we uh learned today is it clear right right you're comfortable in brooklyn in ramada shemesh yerushalayim go out to kibbutz go out somewhere in timbuktu and you know how are you and avi turn your thing off abby turn your finger off because we can hear your conversation that was the whole nakuda sure the rapper the rebber in in in in the 1950s the 60s when he planted the seeds of his vision for yiddish kite was leave your comfort zone oh boy and guess what he was talking to those lubavitchers from russia who just came and here they went through so much the holocaust stalin poverty sickness typhus they finally come to a free country los angeles new york boston arizona and the rabbit says hey guy get up and go somewhere and go be makariv and teach eden don't think for a moment it was easy for these parents who went through this saga to let go of their kids it was not and some didn't go cooperate okay today it's like you know bread and butter for the laboratory boy or girl who you know who thinks i want to really make a difference i want to go on but in those days you had to break the ice and the rebels spent 10 years of talking about this and teaching about this and explaining it with concepts like we're learning today and i'm so glad to hear how you put the two together because you're right on it's exactly the the rep is teaching and thinking is doing the mitzvah is important but doing a mitzvah when it's uncomfortable and you do it anyway and you do it with others who don't know yet about mitzvos or need inspiration it's it's a whole different experience so not only are you are you helping helping your others you're helping yourself because until now everything you did was self self and more self as soon as hillary step out to timbuktu and you're there for a meeting and you're there for a conference but over there you walk over to jew would you like to put on twilight would you like to learn some torah would you like to give some chadukka hey we're here for a conference i know but part of the conference is the godly experience and for a jew it's chilling as well so let's put on film together oh all of a sudden the conference becomes a very different conference it becomes one that you're uncomfortable you wouldn't go and solicit someone to put on thrilling it's just not you you know i'm uncomfortable and you push yourself against yourself and he can you could do that once twice three times then you're you're really you're making a difference not just for him which of course is the icker the poor person should get the food the spiritual person who's deprived should get the the message but for yourself because everything i've done till now is just self and more self and myself good fine fine no but when you do something for someone else you're afraid that becomes transformed as well have a great day we'll see everyone tomorrow bright and early take care shalom bye-bye