Maamar Zochor 1934 #5- Three stages of Indulging going from little issue to rock bottom

so good so we're blessed this year to have two months of simcha which actually starts tonight starts the 60 days the 60 days doesn't start from today today is technically the last day of shot so everyone should have only symphosis begoli in the revealed way where we're middle of learning here a very important idea and it's important because the more we understand how the nephesh obama's operates and what it does to to impact us the the better we could relate to the situation at hand so um that speaks about the nefesh obama's and it's its ploys towards getting towards getting a person to be to fall to and he says that it's all because it's very interesting this mimer he says it's all because we're not sensitive to godliness you know indifferent my moral there are different reasons why the nephesha bombing gets to us and this my murder so far he says it's because we lack the sensitivity of hergish eloquii which means godly feelings and why do we lack that so that ever says because we aren't involved in his blindness and we discussed this at length yesterday and i really encourage you to re-listen to it and think about it that if you want a godliness if you want toyota if you want spirituality to truly be of value in your life truly be of value not just lip service and not just at times but that your entire paradigm is based on spirituality and that's how you live your life it requires his abundance that's all that's what he says i mean i'm making sound that's all i mean and as we learned it's an aveda but that was the nakuda of yesterday's sheer today we're on page 142 and and that ever it says he quoted the the verse in the traitor by yaakov and this is also important this i don't know if we mentioned enough yesterday some people think i can have the best of both worlds the truth is and as the early quakers the early jewish philosophers write about this at length that to have and simultaneously it doesn't work either you really have it or you really have a mobile in other words what does it mean it doesn't mean just having it means indulging and pleasuring yourself with the ways of the world from from honor to to to to food to to to money and all other typhus and when you're in that mode it is impossible to appreciate godliness anyone who tells you they do they're they're so foolish they're so shallow it's not true and the same like i was talking to a friend yesterday about he was reading my book about abuela and he said that after reading the book he said he he came to realize that he lived rabbi lived with a different with a different attitude it wasn't he added to the average person on the street lives and not because he was a genius and not because what sometimes he could be absent-minded and all that no but because his paradigm was god was tata it was rabbit it's a whole different attitude so that's why it says she said come is down now this doesn't mean to say that you should take the extreme attitude and shun gosh me is no the bel-shem tooth teaches us to embrace kashmir but to use it for hashem right the famous possible lesbians pasha when you see the donkey of your enemy [Applause] and it's not your friend's donkey you know if you see i mean with the supply if you see an arab whose car is broken down should you go and help him fix his car he should say nothing he's saying that that's the second thing but say it's not a trap and legitimately he broke his his tire busted and he's on the road or he's next to your house now of course the plastic refers to a jew so the halal is you don't have to help a good in that way but even i'm just saying means your enemy someone who hates you hates there's no place for hate but he hates you and here you see his donkey his car is broken messed up the tires busted and all that says the toyota of towson boy put aside your hatred put aside his hatred and fix help and fix the problem and siddhis explains hamor donkey is also associated with words homer materiality or corporeality when you see corporeality when you see gashmias that's tugging at you to indulge and to misbehave and all that so the first attitude is get out of here get away you don't want to live like a friend of mine yesterday the way it was in europe you know when your kids went off the derral you either you know disowned them or you sat shiva or you were very upset and depressed and and and and he asked me you know it seems like it's so far from from today's attitude and i said yes it is you know i recall in my own family my grandmother was a survivor from poland and when one of the the grandchildren or anyone got was ill she would say better me than you it was like it was i grew up with that like that that statement like if anyone has to die first it's me you're still young and new you've got to live i can go you know it's it's that mentality when you see homer and home and and corporeality schlepping you and tugging at you to to to to to to indulge says the traitor ozil help it get back to the path don't reject it that's right help everyone in a way that can make a difference that doesn't mean to say that you accept their mistakes and troubles and issues but find a way to bring them back to the fold and this is of course the motto of khabar and many other jewish organizations and citizens and movements today it's become we could say part of the the fabric of the jewish community so in this mimer the rabbi speaks about let's go further now we're up in the middle of the page 142. when you lack any avoider whatsoever even from time to time you think about you know let me do some work avalay no avoid the kid a boy but nevertheless this type of a voda that you do think about partially is not adequate shane he's been in those it's not a true reflection and meditation that you use and we discussed that yesterday it's not coming out of depth of mind it's a fleeting thought of a male and therefore oh abba vegeta the love and fear that comes from this type of uh superficial meditation they are completely external and superficial it's not true love but it's not true fear today you love this tomorrow you love that it's a total fantasy an imagination in other words i think i mean i would like to love it like i said yesterday that that word wannabe wanna be meditation well if he show and it's temporarily only he said and it's like a fleeting dream she that's left over oh before i've been when it comes to the dining room into eating breakfast and supper and lunch after we dive in it's totally forgotten when it passes even that little remnant is no longer there and what takes place the automatic overpowering of corporeality of the nebuchad bombings takes over uh obama's takes over his position and the person is he says satisfy yourself of enjoyment self-indulgence with what it is with what it begins with he's happy of himself we don't mean here of rum you know having healthy self-esteem we mean the senses you know who i am god's gift to mankind could you imagine what this world would be like if i wasn't here you got to be kidding he is satisfied he's happy hey hey hi mr big shot hey bitter wrestling but that episode no no no no no no it is torah you know i know shots i don't die for yami every day i don't swear him i'm the big rough the hey bubba dustin i drive him for four hours i don't eat much i don't sleep much so he's happy inside with his torah learning and the and so too the way he he relates to worldly matter and worldly issues it appears to him schneiderlin that he conducts himself in all aspects hamburg whether it be his house vehement soccer whether it be his business the way the torah demands of him so he thinks he is the best on the right on the best path of his zoho love this word zach means and since his heart is kind of gluttonous on him meaning not in the sense of food but he's like uh i'm the just goes around with that feeling guy i'm the best heaviness well no not a heaviness no no no on the contrary you only a lot a lot of lightweightness where you know it's it's all it's easy i'm great i'm the best bahamas but he has this feeling that everything is great because of his self satisfying himself from himself about himself in other words forget about what he has the very fact that he exists he says how could it's the greatest thing one of the greatest things is this the slice of uh necklace pizza valerie de meza in yiddish again the language is uh hillel eres sufriden he is this very feeling makes materializes him it makes it more geshem shayed or they keep an offshore and automatically the light of god as it's revealed that shines doesn't shine in this man's soul this person so why because the geshem is a blockage the humanity is the corporeality was vertful signs of freedom that is created because of his self happiness from of himself they're lost in it it doesn't allow cane any spiritual feeling so therefore when he then has an opportunity to indulge in some kind of taivo with him impermissible matter it has six hexagram on it hey beyond the asaka whether it be in business hey beyond the aquila steel whether it be in eating or drinking and conduct he can't control himself because he's used to pleasuring himself because he's the best thing so the moment he pleasures himself hey you know who's being pleasured god's gift to society to mankind so of course it's important to me to pleasure myself he cannot control himself and stop himself from indulging in addition to this that he that is by him top of 143. in addition to the fact by this type of person what is muttar what is permissible is by him in an expansive mode i'm allowed to do this i'm allowed to do this i have a header for this it gets broader and wider aloud aloud aloud in a mass related so all of a sudden he starts descending from those items that are really permissible but not necessary to items that are doubtful whether they're mutter the rabbit calls that suffic butter in other words his dissent begins from indulging what's mutter to then going to what suffolk mutter hainu the thing that's permissible which really is not permissible what what do you mean it's not permissible you're innocent tactically it's permissible it's kosher but as a jew come on we created to have to indulge in everything that's that's in front of you no norman hot does martin gamak we made it kosher we made it permissible with all kinds of justifications and permissibilities the excellent nazis in other words this island here is what we call suffolk mutter and this fellow that's accustomed because he's so happy with himself to justify his existence and that he deserves everything he takes something that's suffic mutter and he makes it makes of it it's surely and then he comes look at the word here it doesn't say lay rate avraham it says lip oil it leads him to fall that's what i was telling you a few classes ago there is yo ray yarida are descending from gradually and then there is nephila no fail flat floor from the top of the mountain all the way to the the valley below in one shot we call that on the feeler so the rabbit says when you go from suffice mutter to issa it's no longer a gradual fall it's a complete fall because the first thing was it was mutter and you indulged okay the next thing is it's suffolk butter and you make it into mutter so you still have something to back you because it's suffic mutter but when you enter the realm of isr there's no justification it's usur yes hillary i i just wanted to mention that in the field of addiction there was a uh researcher or practitioner named jelinek who kind of formulated a curve of the stages of addiction and recovery it becomes like an inverted you uh you know you start out with a sort of gradual descent into alcoholism addiction with uh with casual use etc and there are these very predictable stages until you sort of hit the r you hit bottom sounds like a very analogous uh you know what we're talking about here right thank you thank you thank you for sharing that and he says um and from the the suffolk heter position he ends up falling even this is the progression the orderly progression in one's fall from top to bottom and he quotes the posique right it's in the torah you have fattened yourself you have thickened yourself and cassisa is another um similar meaning in other words so the trilo look how the rabbit explains this it's so beautiful in the beginning yoni it's only shamanta a little extra hash mouse what's the context of this puzzle when that it's a by the time that you know that we we that we we we went astray that we were so torah uses the words three words to describe the same thing or is it the same thing so the devil's explaining overall it's the same idea that we've basically are indulging but that ever says it like this you see the rabbit says it's like a little oil a little you're just you're just you're just smearing some oil on yourself to make you feel a little better it's about yourself not about anything else men there to flee the media like we said earlier we become happy with ourselves and from ourselves and we receive pleasure from those things that we pleasure ourselves with okay that ever says as is known as though the rebel is so far from this but he says as is known the nature of those that are called balihano okay there's a category guys called bali i know he's so descriptive look what he says those that are on the category of baliano the thing itself the item he don't care really whether it's cake steak this or that the bottom line is pleasure that i have pleasure from it i know the enough can mean that there's no difference but it's in my double in the island itself or if it's precious the dover are rave or sweet i should double posture or something that's customary and simple nevertheless the primary thing for him is that he pleasures and come and fulfills his indulgence his taiwan so therefore you know those you say oh this person has a taiwanese and that oh even if it doesn't have such a big title but for him it's a tiger for him what what for someone else is considered ridiculous and not interesting for him he's all infatuated with it he's all sold on it he must have it the zell shamanta this is the first word you have factored yourself with the word charmaine it makes the perk it makes for the person as mocked him to freedom kite the rabbit's translating his shaman it makes you happiness but not positive happiness happiness of ego yes yes god the word is self-indulgence to the master of self-indulgence thank you okay a master of self-indulgence but he's using the word your listen so freedom kind so freedom kite doesn't mean self-indulgence self-indulgence leads to the freedom kite so freedom kind means happiness but happiness in the sense because of the pleasure not the particular pleasure because he is being pleasured regardless of in what form he's being pleasured next word a visa which means you have fattened yourself thinking yourself means thick with an iron gas he becomes thick and coarse it's a freedom kite this self happiness [Applause] until he goes to the third stage which is the worst that causes and the rebb explains the position with covers [Applause] even things that are damaged to yourself harmful alcohol he mentioned the alcohol addiction but it's not just for that you start with a little healer says and the curve shows right you end up doing things to yourself that you what happened is you lost your bra mind your budget lost your mind you're you're killing yourself you are actually killing yourself what are you doing so in the beginning the first two take stages of shamanta and avisa you weren't at that point you if you knew you were gonna kill yourself that way you would never do it you want to indulge you want to feel good about yourself fine but if someone makes you aware and you stop and think hey this leak this is leading to to death or to illness and all that once one second you stop because cesa is already a further a further degree of of indulgence where you lose your brains meaning to say you can't talk rationally to the person yes my it's very rabbit dog it's very interesting because i'm listening to what you said yesterday for the last couple days about i forgot the name of the hosted who was he did such his scaffia and he said that i if if i would have found out that doing one day less of a scam i wouldn't lessen would have lived right one more time because it's it's in a strange way it almost this almost sounds like the polar opposite of the scaffia or the person who gets so into the scaffold but at the same time you know there's like a it's almost it's there's also at the same time though it feels like a similar energy to it right but you're saying a similar energy in the net in in the negative right no no but in the negative but i'm saying that if you say that they share a commonality each is a uh very interesting yeah i hear your point that's a good i got to develop it a little better in words myself you know as well um but i think i'm i'm hearing your your heart but the the idea that you just threw out it's it's starting to yeah because sometimes i i see from time to time i see in certain people have responsible noise i see people who are so detached from the gosh miss world they're so into like the rookie world the problem though is that sometimes and they don't they don't mean to do this but because they're so detached they actually end up hurting other people in other words somehow they end up using other people or hurting other people right okay and they they they don't realize they're doing it right i don't know i don't want to start giving examples right now but i've seen this for a long time yeah i think it's another thing it's all it's almost is it it's it ends up ultimately it ends up being a form of being selfish yes in other words you want to be frum and religious and all that on your own shoulders don't don't put it on someone else and have your wife you know be the slave you know the holy spirit yeah or or or or other people end up being yes other people i just wanted to share a sort of startling story i read last week from the tel nareva that he described that when he was in avreik he was walking shabbos afternoon to go from where he lived in um invite pagan to the gear based madrid in shalom he was behind some girls and one of the girls dropped a sitter so he didn't know he didn't exactly know what should he do should he pick should he pick it up is there a mitzvah upon it chavez does it so so he he uh and he put the the sitter in his pocket and he forgot about it and uh the guerrera that night when he was when his parting from him after the shooters after mara he asked him what was in his pocket and he told him this whole this whole thing and the the rabbit told him to go speak to a certain uh rav in the basement and ask him what the would be in this case it was a whole lot case of all kinds of lambda shiloh some terms i wasn't even familiar with and that this rav this gary gossett asks his why didn't you give it back you were behind the girls you saw the dropping why didn't you give it back which he said you shocked him but uh and uh and so then then he went back and he spoke about it with the guerrero who's who told him that he she had a mitzvah to publish a size that it would be lost and he said uh and the girl rapper said and if she comes to collect it have your wife give it to her but the but the postseason told him that he should he should have approached them you know and uh that that that was that that was sort of the the overriding principle i was kind of taken aback by that i don't know i yeah i i don't know what's the issue with giving back the sydney to the girl i i don't get it well it's not sneers yeah yeah i think that i think that was the implication right and i was told i was told by by managing polish some of you don't even know who he was because he you came through strong after he passed away but he was a harvard agnes going back i remember him yeah going way back i interviewed him it's in my book conversations with the devil because he had chairs to the previous rapper yet and to our rabbit in the 40s and 50s so it was the very end he had this interesting life seven generations your xiaomi's and and and public servants so we spoke about the whole idea of uh closing down mayor sharon mcgula on shabbos to cars and he told me that the brisker of rav velvel brisker who was known as a kanoi right but not not a not a natural karta kanoi a real torah kanoi he told me that he was against closing the streets over there and that when they came to get him to sign the declarations he didn't want to and it's said to have nakampura she was you know speaking on behalf of all the from people and the people of this neighborhood by large wanted that so the the the the biscuit earth told rabbi poro she said what are you doing by closing this street here and he named the streets in this street here you're just causing that those that are being the college shoppers and driving to drive more because they have to go around so what you're doing is causing to a great elevator that's what he told me the brisk enough told him i printed it in the book because i feel it's fascinating it's fascinating the brisker of who you would think hey oh yes let's shut down the streets because he will sharpest he said just the opposite and my point is to what michael was saying what you're saying you know it's it's easy to fall into that trap and you have to be very careful especially when it when when it involves other people in any sense sensitive way so the the good over here is and i i just want to think it's in writing too yesterday one of my editors my editor calls me i i cited a certain story and the editor calls me and he says you know you write and and you say about this person that he didn't become the rebel because he was in business and i said i wrote that because at the time i didn't want to hurt him but that's not the real reason and i said i don't want to write that because it's not true there was a time he wasn't business but that's not the real reason why people didn't want him as the rebel i said the real reason is because he didn't have a refined character he had a tough side to him and people couldn't relate to that so i said to my editor now you find a way how to say it in a nice way and i was i'm thinking about i'm saying here's a person who the rest of the book loves him and and he was a significant person and a special person yet you know this comment coming from an old husset who knew him from it's very telling that in this area you don't belong in this area in every other area you're great but in this area of being a rebber it's not your cup of tea and now so i'm just saying what my sister i'm saying it's like you you you know you um you don't want to hurt someone else and yet you don't want the person to hurt you so you have to find a sensitive way where things are clearly um clear you know demarcation you know and this is uh the art of um relationships and it's it's it's it's an art and not many people are good at this art it's a specialty to be able to to to you know to know the nakuda and not not stretch it too much and at the same time not not not hold it back too much that's a specialty and those that excel in that area are great mediators great gaboy really people who are able to negotiate great therapists you know great rabbis teachers where you're able to take two sides and and and and give each one their respect and at the same time not allow either side to overstep what they're good at and to stay away from what they're not good at yes hello you're just reminding me of um a really heroic client i once had who had been a rebbe in uh in a yeshiva in a shiva katana for small kids and he was a man who struggled with sexual attraction for small kids okay and he had it he he had it sort of managed and so on but when his wife died when this man's wife died uh you know he immediately resigned i mean he had dastara but he immediately resigned because he was concerned about that that he had about he knew himself it was an extraordinary courageous thing to do this had been his his whole career his whole identity so to speak and then suddenly uh suddenly uh he resigned and you know nobody knew the reason that you know except uh except his rob and i as his therapist it was just an extraordinarily heroic thing i thought i hear you and i will not uh comment more on this sensitive issue uh you guys saw that letter that some woman uh wrote that's now circulating it is as long as the golis it is a very long letter just came out yesterday it's around all the sights now very painful very painful too yeah very painful to read it i i just couldn't i just had to skip some i was very painful but um i don't know there's nothing to say there's no i i don't have what to say all i can say is that uh these things have to stop these things have to stop hillary are you are you now being uh are you involved in this field because of what happened recently say it again are you being are you being asked are people asking you about this issue it's definitely it's definitely come up this whole case has come up in my clients for sure you know i mean because uh you know i deal with many people who have you know a lot of abuse in their background and yeah yeah we need mashiach you know because this thing that happened i don't have to tell you but this thing happened it's a blow to the religious system to the torah system it really you know it it's a terrible thing because how can you trust anybody that that that's right that is the issue over here and this is something that i think i don't know michelle but this to me is the is one of the issues that's really why it's hitting home everyone is in addition to the magnitude of the abuse and who did it etc etc it's the whole idea is so the guy the rabbi the rough can be trusted the masjid can be trusted the das torah can't be tested what's the difference what's the difference if you're this or you're that well you have a congregation you don't have a congregation so it it's it's it's a it's a very very deep a deep wound it's a very deep water quarter okay let's continue tomorrow have a great play dish everyone nice learning exactly thank you for coming on i really appreciate it thank you scientism bye