Maamar Zochor 1934 #19- Figure out who you are and don't fool yourself - Are you one with Chasidus

page um 148 we'll actually learn today inside the mimer uh the last uh uh page before the end is 148 149. i went learning here about um details of hakma and bina and within itself haskallah and hasaga i want to re-read the the muscle that rabbit gave from a raven talmud that i thought was brilliant and and clarified for us um what he's getting at so let's go to one two three four five six seven eight nine um uh nine lines from the bottom the last two words over rabbit as long as the idea indian means the idea the root word is means it did not become his essence his essence so in hebrew the word is miss nisatse nitazen so as long as the town the student it didn't become the idea did not become by the student the student's essence sure which means what does that mean and this is a definition of of what it means to so for something to be your your essence yo the person himself does not understand it and know it clearly in other words the person might be a great parakeet might have a great memory and can repeat verbatim what the teacher said but when you start asking the person could you explain this and that and the person is left standing there speechless why because it's not his he doesn't own it he he has something else that he acquired as an adjunct to who he is this is the meaning you understand that the thing does not become and and just know that for anything in life to become this outside with you is a lot of work a lot a lot of work right i tell the story of rabbi hershberg the chief rabbi of montreal the former chief rabbi who was a survivor and a boyfriend someone who tested students who came to who came to be registered in the yeshiva lebline of ramir shapiro in their late 20s and early 30s and um he knew shas by heart on his fingers you could you could test him anywhere he knew he could read for you what the gamora says by heart he had a photographic memory so it was one tish above i heard this from a son of his so you heard it from the son of of of the rabbi of the rabbi hirshbrunk he was a shul after tish above and he was learning gamora everyone knows that after fasting for 24 to 26 hours you're hungry and you run home to eat or if you have something to show eating sure and rabbi hershberg is by himself everyone has gone home and he's learning gamora and his wife notices he's not home it's already half an hour or 45 minutes or so after tish above is over and she's made a meal to feed her illustrious husband and he's not home so she figures knowing him he's in the basement he's a shoe so she runs over to the shoe and she sees him burning over a gemara learning gamora and she says pinchas that was his first name pinchas and she spoke with the galaxy yiddish accent [Music] we must eat you need to eat and he looks up at his wife with all the respect he says to sister i took it i'll say it in yiddish because it's so gent it's so beautiful i took a day was melaninish gimme a day that one cannot does not learn their quota of gemara because tish above until midday you're not allowed to learn your regular classes of gemara and all that i took was you're not allowed to eat i ask you how many people do you know from the rabbis and rabbanim and mashpeem and all everything have has a feeling that to them eating learning gemara is more satiating than eating food don't think that hershberg wasn't hungry i tell you he was hungry like a human being after not eating 24 to 26 hours is hungry but he took his he filled his hunger with gemara because when he learned gemara was so part of who he was knowing knowing him a little bit and observing him that the gemara that he learned was better than the the supper that his wife prepared for him who was waiting at home and this is what i say when we talk about something being assassin with you becoming who you are you know it's so easy to say oh yeah this is why i became religious i i learned terrorized this is who i am there's an expression in yiddish biz seconds than public you ever hear that expression until it touches your belly button a puppet is a belly button so the year this expression is until it's about you once it's about you everything else goes out the window until it's until it's if it's not about you then you don't care but if it's going to impact you in any way to make you uncomfortable or you right you're not going to give into that because you come first that's not the that's when you are not one with the essence of hashem and taylor that means you're one with the essence of yourself and ego and and selfish needs being one with hashem and taylor means that the cause comes first and like i said yesterday we could learn from these that are getting on planes i read about this from probably america and elsewhere and going to ukraine to fight for the country uh that's more of kind of their country's their essence i mean as much as a human being can get to an essence and and and and it's a a gentile not a jew and doubter is already at the end of chapter one and tanya discusses the difference between a jews self-sacrifice and a non-jew self-sacrifice signing the gemara but as much as a human being is able has the potential to bond with god and become one with god as much as that's humanly possible this would be an example you put aside everything and you say i have to fight for my country but you leave your wife back and your children and your work and guess what you might end up dying and being killed and never returned doesn't make a difference my country is my lifeline my blood my dna this is la havedo like non-jews so so how much more so by us eden i'll never go back to the text that ever says here that the t the student who is not able to clearly on his own explain and repeat what the teacher said it's because the idea that the ideas that he was taught by his teacher are not yet one in isla and therefore this student cannot distance himself from his teacher because he always needs his teacher to teach him because on his own he wouldn't know it the aim is if the student will distance himself the ideas that the teacher taught him will be forgotten it happens every day it happens every day you're innocent we learn every day we learn to yeshiva we learnt and from rabbis and rabbani men rebels and all that and we forget when we're in the sheer when we're in middle of learning and discussing and our teachers are there it's vibrant and active and we remember as soon as we go out of that must get it of that domain we forget why because it hasn't become who we are i always joke with my kids over the years as they were growing up you know do you think do you forget to eat do you forget the dress bar hashem well we're hungry we don't forget to eat we we gravitate naturally to the food and to sleep and to pleasure and to vacation and everything else you don't need someone to remind you when it comes to calling your grandfather or your father's shabbos and of shabbos i forgot i'm busy i'm talking to myself because it's not it's it's not us it's not one with us it's so easy to to say i'm one with you yeah you're really one with me then don't you want to to be greeted good shabbos aeroshabbas you like that feeling so if you like that feeling why don't you share it that feeling with someone else who you say is inseparable from you ah guess what maybe they're not inseparable and maybe that feeling of closeness and love is wonderful but it's not essence essence is very different the story i told you the other day of the mendel and abaron joseph is a story of essence which i'm sure you know you and your work you in your heart probably you took him from michelle in other places to to identify certain right shleiman you take a look at shiroshima song of songs which is a holy love story he talks about ava love sick i be i crave you i need you i i'm in love with you and i become sick when i don't have you that's begotten us your spouse goes away on a trip even if it's one day the feeling you should have is i miss her that's a traitor attitude it's not a a sixties rock and roll elvis presley attitude slay mamela says it nevertheless that's called hailas ava and it's a level of avant the alternative talks about it by the way in the couti torah if you want to really understand what lovesick is learning how to rap is my moral and you'll have such a understanding what real lovesick should be for hashem it's fascinating and what's his explanation briefly it's that i realize without you i can't exist says the altered even that is not essence wow you know why because there the reason for my love is based on a reason i can't exist who are you i can't exist in other words your existence is important to you so you must have the lover is that the highest level of love no it's a great level it you know it's it's an accomplishment but it's still associated with the eye i need to be around who are you says the alternative after he he explains you're innocent the the great level of ava right away he says but that's not the essence that's what we're learning here moshe that a student who has a teacher and learns from their teacher but if if what he learns from his teacher has not become who he is as soon as he distanced himself from his teacher he is no longer one with the teacher and now you understand what it says in the holy tata that yahushua who was maisha's successor liam he didn't separate and move from the tent of my now you understand what it means it means that yahushua was such a student that even when he was elsewhere he always felt maisha's my teacher it doesn't mean to say he didn't go on a vacation when you when you look when you learn this possible it says yoshua did not leave the tent of moshe how do you understand that he was always there so you think he never went on a vacation he never went out of town he never went to a business meeting wrong it doesn't of course he did because if hashem if he was if it was necessary for him to do that he did it but it means that wherever he was what was his consciousness his consciousness it was i never left the tent of moshe i am a walking maester and i only do what my wants i cannot do anything else another plastic in the torah bringing these took him to support the idea bilaam is asked by bullock to bless the jews right he gets ready he wants to give a big curse right what does it say hashem i tried saying the words it couldn't i couldn't desecrate the words of god god didn't allow it to come out of my mouth so it's explained what does that mean that bilum in bilaam was governed by hashem that even if he wanted to curse the jews he couldn't because in this area his free will was stripped so here's an example that one's essence in this area was removed from him because that's what god wanted that's what we're talking about here so i gave you numerous examples to clarify what the rap is saying let's go back to the text i just want to say that these type of things that we're talking about this right now era hasidic fabregan this is what hasidim would think about a real casino of course every one of them was doing great things especially in the hardest time in russia when putting on film with a jew or teaching a jew a child and hey there was self-sacrifice and stalin's time you could be shot sent away but you think they spoke about that when they came together and they said look i am hey you know who i am i sat and the kgb weren't there you know or even implied that you got to be kidding because they they consider themselves so so not important as far as ego and who are there why because that's why they were created otherwise they wouldn't be here they were here for one-on-one thing only to do hashem's work as as in their case related by the tsadik by the rebel and hasidan would shine each other about this this was a you know in the good old days when fabregas still was authentic and genuine and and it was about you know these type of things not about you know uh you know how many people you put filling on and this is that it's all nice and good but that's not what a fabrega was okay that's not what the cup the the the authentic chabad fabrega was it was and you'll see this in the previous interview it was jews getting together see them getting together and how do we all approve our avoid this hashem oh how do you prove your service of god then you got to let me get in and you got to go in and you got to look at yourself and you say are you one with hashem is your aveda is there any um sense of ego there whatsoever and these are the type of things that they were discussing you say you have love for hashem you don't say it you really think you have love for hashem really or is it love for yourself or is it love for your country or is it love for your wife and kids who is the love for you know this and you say a niggin and you say look i am and and and you have someone who is talking about elder husset or even someone who's genuine you know who who's able to talk about these things not someone who who can talk very nicely speaks well but is so far from these ideas such a person would be wiped away out of hasidic fabregan because the mystatv didn't the worst thing was fake in in la havedo in in in bob grant's the old uh new york talk show host who i would make me laugh that's fake phony fraud you're a fake phony fraud get off my get off my radio get off the airwaves and if i bring it you couldn't you try you were fake phony fraud they demolished you and you knew never again to come to if i bring in with your false sense of pride and ego and nourish kite and that was the beauty of ringing because it was that it was that one corner that one area of life where you have to be real you could fool others you could fool yourself when you come to a fabrian game with the right people you ain't gonna fool them and they're gonna let you have it so you talk about the mental foot of us but i should mention the other day remember was such a true that's what that was one of the things that made him special besides the self-sacrifice and everything else was he didn't let you kid yourself i remember conversations i had with him you know as a teenager and over the years i've shared some with you you know the number one thing was he went right into my bones and he and he just laid it in and you know this is a man how could you not listen to a man who sat for nine years in prison in siberia and gave his life i mean this is real i mean you know so when a man like that tells you stop kidding yourself you know are you really doing this for god or you're doing it for yourself you listen if you have a sense of honesty and you want to grow and you want to be better so this here in the mimer the rabbit is explaining that a talmud a student to to to needs to be one with the teacher if they if they want that in their life and otherwise as soon as they leave the domain and platform of the teacher they forget the teacher and they forget the material that's what we're learning six lines to the top for the bottom sorry seven lines from the bottom cabell stiros the halomas when you're not one with the teacher concealments and limitations and this and and disguise become part you receive them in other words you don't know how to explain hey man someone says to you like i said last year what is what is kabbal what is yiddish what is whatever you and you you don't have an answer that means you're not one yet with khabar see this which is fine we're getting there with god in other words any time any piece of information you're innocent that you study and and after you study it and after you hear a sheer and you say you understand and someone goes and throws you a cool um a curveball someone throws a question at you and challenges you and you can't explain it that means the question has stumped you and you know why because you're not yet one with the information the kashmir slavinian conversely when the issue and the idea does become part of your essence the high neutral who be that you yourself know and understand the truth of the idea us then you can go away from your teacher kabul status and then guess what all questions and all issues won't bother you even when they're thrown at you you hear that insecurity i think what the rep is touching upon here is that what we would call today it's being insecure when why is someone insecure because he's not one with the issue so therefore he's insecure and he's thrown for a loop but if you become one with the issue then you're then basically it's your teacher your rabbi and the idea that's here now and it's truth but mailer the questions even if they're good questions don't make a change i told you i was learning tanya with someone for many many years and he asked me the question about the chat and the chapter actually no in the beginning of our learning he asked me the question about the end of chapter one the difference between non-jews and jews and he's really bothered by it i explained it to the best of my ability the way i heard it for the bureau by mashibia but i can't say that he understood it the way i understood it so so we both agreed let's go on then towards the chapters 40 and 50 like six seven eight years later it took us ten years to finish the 53 chapters of tanya we learned once a week for an hour each week and we learned it in depth i asked him you still have the question he says i don't have the question anymore so i said you understand the answer he says no i don't understand the answer but i don't care because in the beginning when he was new to to siddhis and to taylor the question disturbed him as he went on and he became about the shoe and he became connected you know it would be nice if i can understand it and maybe i understand it a little better but it doesn't bother me i i'm committed that's what we need today what's most important for ourselves and kids and grandkids and people around us is the commitment to the bottom line that even if you're going to have all the questions in the world and even though you'll be in all kinds of environments and people will challenge you this is who i am that's it there's beard that's who i am you don't like it it's your issue don't marry me don't hire me kazakh with your beliefs kazakh you know that's what it says here it says here the enemy kabul steve he doesn't accept contradictions maybe for you the questionnaire there's a contradiction not for me i'm at peace but keep the butt for yourself okay tomorrow we will continue from zero vasa protes okay sidekick everyone i have another share take care bye-bye