Love, Kindness: Requires Expression. Holding back emotions isn't true love - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

we're learning sh the second section in t where in the beginning kind of of chapter 4 on page I in test which is across the page 156 and here the balatan the author introduces a very important concept a concept that gives us understanding of how we exist now if you if you if you say this to the or the average man woman child senior citizen or anyone Jewish or non-jewish they'll think you're out of the you're out of your mind what do you mean I exist I'm here the question is how did you get here why are you here and in this chapter and in these chapters you really don't exist what do you mean I don't have a hand I don't have eyes and a beard and a yamaka and I exist delves into existence this is why these chapters are not just for Jews by the way the Reba when had suggested to people who were either you know kabad rabbis and schim and there were people who were becoming Jewish they were gay they became converts or even Gentiles if you if you want to study with them the re suggest that this section in Tanya not the first section the first 53 chapters but this section why because this is about God this is about faith this is about unity all man kind are similar you don't have to be Jewish religious you have to be a creation of God and you are a creation so if you're a creation of God it behooves you to understand how is it that you're here and why why shouldn't I be here because if we believe and we understand that God is all over today not the way God was 5,784 4 years ago when he created the world but God is creating the world and this is what we learned yesterday that the word yut which which the the the translation many times is the tetr Gramatan it's the four holy letters of God's name hav I I don't want to say the way the Christians pronounce it you know I'll just say it so you know know what I'm referring to Jehovah right so we say hav Hava is is the reading of the word yud he V he you is the 10th letter he is the fifth letter V is the sixth letter hey is the other second ha again the fifth letter of the Hebrew alphabet so you have four letters of the Hebrew alphabet when put together in that specific form it reads Hava what does Hava mean the Creator but if you break it down the the three letters the three letters the second and third and fourth letter he V he spells out hav what does hav mean who created not who's creating who created and therefore you might argue based on that yes God is the creator but this Creator created the world and because God is infinite omnipotent Etc and everything else God's force that he he put into the universe 5,784 years ago is is so powerful that it's coasting till today and it's going to cost forever because the rules of infinity is that anything that is finite doesn't exist in the world of infinity so if God is infinite his power is infinite so if his power is infinite what he put what he when he created the world 5784 years ago he gave it infinite power to exist and if you argue that position then you're not obliged to say that he's creating today no he's not creating today he created it already that would be the meaning of the three letters K create created but we don't say that we say you you Cave of is a fourth letter and frankly it's the first of the four letters the yud the little Hebrew yud what does that yud represent simply in Hebrew grammar it represents present tense tense he is creating not he created and with without going into it cuz the balatan doesn't get into it here and I don't want to spend time on it the the the the the the Insight of that idea is is true meaning to say that if God were only if AEM was only a cre a Creator who created but is not creating today every moment Mark every moment then there's no CER there's no relationship ship between the god of today and my situation that means to say God is not in my life who is in my life a God who did something 5,784 years ago but Hashem is not an active Force every moment today in Florida in ER Isel in Germany wherever you are because we're coasting based on something that he did that would mean that there's a a disconnect okay listen to that word there's a disconnect between the God my situation today and God and that cannot be because if we accept that if we accept that then God is not in my life the god of the past is in my life not the god of the present and we know that God of the present is in our lives every moment that idea is denoted by the yud before the three letters of k v k yud k v k hav the present Creator Creator this is what we learned yesterday and Y brought support to his argu to to his position from a verse in job job you know was a man who was all good but for some reason God had it be that he lost his children they died and he had misery and he never lost his faith which to us is such an important lesson never give up even when things are difficult and really difficult keep the faith and how because God is present if God is present I turn to God today help me today you help me in the past what was in the past is the past they they have this uh lullabi in yish it goes like this ver is given is given what happened in the past happened is given is given it ain't relevant today to Z sitting and learning Tanya over there today it happened by the way this also counters the argument my Z my grandfather oh he was a religious man you know what about you my grand my grandmother she was such a wonderful mench and what about you you know what they say about Yus is a pedigree you're a lineage oh you come from this family and that family it's like a bunch of zeros if if there's a one in front of it the zeros become valuable if there's no no one in front of it the zeros are meaningless who is the one the one is you only you today so this what the AL is positioning here the importance of recognizing Hashem the Creator now if that's the case and and we we understand and believe that Hashem is creating the world now how do we emerge God the infinite the transcendal trans transal God is active now if he's active how do we exist this he's going to Now teach us in today she starting to teach us with the concept of the tsim Tsum Sim tum t z i Tzu simum contraction Hashem contracts his Infinity but it ain't simple you think it's easy for a college professor or a a rabbi to contract all of their information and trickle it down without losing any of its content to people who are didn't aren't studied that way to students no it's not you all know that from your own teachings and in various ways so many times what we do is we give up we surrender the the quality of the communication for the benefit of the students of the recipients that's not what Hashem did because if Hashem that's not what Hashem does I take that back not what he did that's not what God does because if that's what God does again we're getting jipped we're getting ripped off that means we don't have a full God we have a god who's playing a game with us he wants us to exist and he wants us to emerge and he wants us to bring pleasure to him what does he do he takes Aus he goes to Hawaii well how do you how does if you go to Hawaii if God goes to Hawaii how does the universe still exist okay he'll get some angels some Representatives some snorers you know you take care of it I'm on vacation the CEO leaves and by the way we said it in the remind yourself at the Seder we said God took us out of Egypt not through an emissary not through a representative not through an agent but he himself with his pride and honor picked us up and said Out you go again another very powerful concept imagine Misha someone comes and says to you comes into your studio and says come you're coming with me to yush to greet mashiah he doesn't doesn't send someone a message doesn't send you a message a WhatsApp a text an email he himself knocks on your door takes you by the hand come so much more powerful when we talk about hashem's Infinity hashem's Transcendence being present in the world now and at the same time allowing and wanting and making impossible for a world to exist we need to understand how is that possible it seems to be contradictory think of it this way I want you to think of it this way with your children with your grandchild if you always tell them what to do not when they're 10 years old but when they're 30 years old and 40 years old and you treat them as little children you're in big trouble because at the end they're going to say go somewhere we have our own life we're adults and trust me every one of us has that I I haven't found yet any parent who doesn't have that issue as their children be are become adults are adults independent dependence give them their independence Hashem wants to give us our independence Hashem gives us our independence the question is how if God is here in his full force as I explained earlier how do we have an dependence too so that's the fundamental question today how do we reconcile how do we reconcile Independence and God being here at the same time in God's all all glory Infinity Transcendence how do if if God is here it's all God how do we exist so now explains the concept of Tsum now let's learn inside and then we will explain we're on page I in test we six lines I believe from the top after the period in our prayer book in our sedor and when we organize and and recount the praise of Hashem see it says right in the amidale the go godod the great God God means large great the mighty one the strong one hully Etc now here too H what is difficult in this phrase Inon that the Al has to say I taught you many times and I repeat it when it says it means something is not right and I need to clarify what is not right about hod and the answer is that seemingly it's just more adjectives and Al says no the daving and the t is not a book of poetry okay it's not a book of compliments H if it says it there's an addition there's a difference between God God is great and God is mighty now you say to yourself of course there's a difference but look at the way so what would you say is a difference great is more of a kind of quantitative thing gber maybe is more of a qualitative thing that might be one possible explanation let's see what he says the meaning of doesn't mean God's quantity it also means God's quality the quality of God's benevolence and God's extension of his Vitality to all worlds All Creatures God makes it possible that all creatures are created ex Neo from something may I yes from nothing to something and how did they exist ifem would not be active right so that's a different interpretation of aod not just great and large the the the the the the the the style and manner of that godo is benevolence God did does a big favor for us because he wants to which is he creates us that's a kindness on his part Mark and I were talking yesterday about Mark asked me what what is the greatest thing for a Jew to know so he said the greatest thing is humility to be humble and the worst thing is the opposite arrogance and he learned it with another Kusa in Tanya and it's true so the fact that that Hashem is kind and allows us to emerge and be that's God that's great that's large yes m word ising thef as oppos as opposed to G give it give it a moment give a moment we're middle of a very good you're on the right track M your head's thinking I like that okay so he says it's look at the next word free it don't cost any money Hashem decided this is what I want to do you don't have to pay me for it I enjoy doing this I enjoy creating and giving room for existence it's called or as we used to say in the 60s free love this is the real free love not not the great The Grateful Dead that's not the free love this is the free love the existence and being able to exist CU Hashem says I love creature I love the world I love to create I want the world to be G says the but this is called G greatness why is it called G greatness because it comes from the greatness of God in his very honor and Essence because for God is great and to his greatness no one can reach no can explore it's infinite so because himself is is great isid therefore he gives his Mas he gives influence vitality and creates from nothing to something all the worlds and creatures and cats Adam forit him now the question is why must you say that why can't we argue listen to this Mark why can't we say God is great God is kind but he keeps it for himself we've met such people haven't we Kev we've met people who they're really nice people but they don't share much with others I'm not talking about you know financially and I'm talking about you know emotionally why is it that people there are people and Hill can tell us more as a social worker who are really kind people but they have a problem sharing their emotions I was at a Shiva NE a few nights ago a few days ago and this 88-year-old woman who I grew up with cuz her son and I are good friends and I would visit sh and played together as boys and I I I made a clip on it I don't know if you guys saw it um you could look at it it um it's part of my childhood so the joke the joke in the family is that when they met the husband and wife the first time he didn't say a word and she chatted all night the next time they they you know they were encouraged to meet again she said I don't want to meet him again I can't I can't marry someone who is basically doesn't talk I mean you know he talks but it's like he didn't make conversation and he's very quiet so they went over to him and they said hey fella this is a good girl she has all the right ingredients for you but you got to talk you got to make conversation well he has a good boy listened and the second date he chatted all night and he and he just kept on talking and the joke in the family is for the next 50 60 years of their marriage he he spoke less than that second date in that one night he spoke more than the next 50 60 years what am I saying there are people who sh you know they share emotions in a different way now for someone who's used to like you know hearing the emotions hearing the feelings come on you know my father always says you know when when he speaks to people and they Mumble they mumble jumble and you don't hear what they're saying he says say it clearly I want to hear it articulate it you know he comes from a certain culture he comes from a certain family and his family emotions he wants them to be flowing open cuz he is that way so Hashem let's go back now Hashem Hashem is Gula he's great but why can't he keep the greatness for himself look at the Al's next words the answer is in the next words for the nature of good is to bestow goodness these three words is a very important Concept in understanding Hashem and his kindness the nature the true nature of of something that is good or someone is good is to do goodness in other words if your nature is good you must you you must do goodness you will do goodness a let's take a ainu our patriarch Abraham right why did aam get up and go to the outside of his tent on the third day after he was circumcised which we know the pain is greatest then okay I don't think they had anesthesia then okay and he goes out and he's looking for Wayfair people and he to do what to invite them in to eat at his restaurant Abraham's restaurant out in the desert somewhere out there where you guys live there in nro with your friendly neighbors right you know why the pain for aam not being able to feed someone and help someone was greater than his own pain from the incision made on his on his body when he was circumcised it was a greater pain why because he couldn't do kindness I interviewed someone years ago a very bright kabad Rabbi and it was already you know towards the L latter years of his life and it looked looks like dementia had some dementia had started to creep in I'm sitting with him face to face and we're in a very uh warm intimate intellectual conversation you know face to face you know is is an art of an interview you know there's like there's nothing nothing around you nothing exists it's only you and him or you and her with your with your minds and and an entire being focused and in each other in each other and he says to me I don't I don't remember your name I know who you are I just don't remember your name it was very very painful for me and more for him because I could see I could see the pain in other words he he wasn't completely seen ale far from it and he was pained that he didn't he didn't remember my name although I know who you are someone so for him that was this analogous to what we're learning here the nature of good is to do goodness in other words for him in an interview he wants to know who he's talking to it helps him in his interview and in what he's saying and when he's lacking that and although he says I recognize you but I don't know who you are in other words he recognizes and understands that's just you know his brain it's not functioning fully very painful in the positive is the same thing when you if a if some if someone or something is good by Nature not by education you hear that by Nature you must do kindness and you can't rest until you do kindness now when you think about it just as an aside that's true and that's why we throw around oh he's a good person she's a good person they do nice things it's all true that doesn't mean yet that their nature isid nature isid is what I just describe to you based on this these three words never forget those words the nature of to the nature of to is Le hative is to do good to others and if you can't and if you don't do good to others you're not yourself you're not the same person and what do you do you seek to do good to others Al applies this as an explanation to why God who gdula needed God doesn't need anything but needed to create the world and make us emerge because we are the the the recipient of his so the argument is if we would not emerge God would be lacking in hiset and that can't be so God says I'm going to make make you exist I want you to exist because my needs you and just for a moment I'll add something that the Reb rashab says in his discourse the first discourse in the of the Year 1906 which was uh technically 1905 the famous discourse is known as t or in Yesa in in we call it s where there he says that itself is not the essence of God because this means that we are limiting God to how can you do that God is beyond but the alter is not talking about that right here he's not talking about what the essence of God is I just mentioned that if you ever care to learn that and look it up you could you'll see a whole discussion about the reasons for creation and that each of the reasons a reason brought in the Z the holy zo this reason which by the way the rebba writes I believe he couldn't find it in the Aral this reason is already in the realm of reasoning and God transcends reason so to say that God must do kindness I.E create the world because he himself is kind is a limitation in God and and there's no limitations in God God is not limited by kindness when he chooses to do kindness he does kindness but don't tell don't box God into kindness but that's not the discussion here so what the discussion here is and we conclude today this part and therefore when we say in the morning in theid the large God the great God what do we mean the god who's full of and because God who's full of he bestows Upon Us by creating us so therefore we are here but it doesn't answer answer yet the question and that's what we're going to learn tomorrow still explain to me how do we exist you're telling me that God must do it because he's from that perspective he must create a creation and he creates a creation he gives us existence but how and the answer is in the next section of T through haor just to pacify Moshe ha represents gura Tsum contraction that's how we emerge that's the answer in a nutshell but to explain it we'll learn tomorrow any questions or comments okay Z have a great day we'll see everyone tomorrow bye-bye Take Care thank you you're welcome