Life-Lessons from Reb Yoel Kahan for his first Yahrtzeit, 6 Menachem Av - 3 personal stories

this is a special clip i'm making for my maschia's yard site his first yard site i have yoyo there's so much to say and yet there's so little to say but one must share what they learned and what they saw and bar hashem i was i merited not only learning from him but i spent many hours talking with him privately in his house i observed him during his sodas he invited me many times home this house for the shabbos meals and jumped up meals and i'm a funnel and it's not about me but at the same time when a person merits to something they need to give back i'm giving back i hope that you listeners will take my words like you hear him from rapio himself i'm not going to give you his biography now i've written that i'm coming out with another book this coming month hashem hello this month next month with more anecdotes stories and life lessons for every person not just the philosopher and the thinker but everyone i encourage you to to read it because it will benefit not just yourselves but the wives the men the children the teenagers particularly those young people boys and girls men and women who are seeking and asking and dealing with all kinds of issues today ebio's wisdom is eternal really and yes he was a hussed and he was born in russia and he learned to narcissism 1950 all true but siddhis and living like a hosted is eternal the message is eternal so rabbi open yourself up and even if you're not a husset or you don't want to be a hostage and even if you're a miss nugget well that ebba says and teaches us there's no miss not them today even if you're a litvak or you're sephardic or your modern orthodox trust me the teachings that ebio shared is for the world for the entire world so just a few a few stories anecdotes that i recall that are important one is elena we all know eleno lay newly shopped right the conclusion of the service the morning afternoon and evening service everyone rises and everyone chants together or everyone said eleno rabiot told me once that he noticed that the rebbe would take longer to say eleno than many than most other parts of davenink the average speed for the rest of davening was like the rest of the congregation when it came to eleno the congregation and the baldfield the the cantor the cousin had to wait for the but to to finish and then he concluded out loud the end of elena and the oil said to me you know why it's because in elena it says to make the world an inhabitant place for you god almighty and if you else said to do that takes a lot more time to study to learn to philosophize to laugh to cry it's much quicker but to make a change in the world in your own world and in the world at large that takes a long time that ever lived it when he said eleno he was going through the experience of asake and the lesson for us as rabbi shared with me is we need to do to do the same thing and that's why it took him more time i thought that was brilliant and very important because it's easy to talk it's easy to philosophize it's easy to cry it's easy to laugh but to do something real in the concrete world action is loudest and most important that's where many times we get stuck and the same is true within ourselves to make a change in some character trait it's a lot of hard work that's one important teaching that my rebbe my teacher my mashpia taught me personally and i share it with all of you another thing and i might have said it before but it's worth repeating is i was driving him to an event that i had made in muncie at the time i was involved with the chabad yeshiva and in honor of high elo the baal shem tov and alta rebe's birthday i made an event and i brought together some rabbonim from the community rabbis i picked up ruby oil at his house and we drove together as i'm driving on the palisades and i'm driving and being careful not to get a ticket not the speed and all that he says to me favors kumasi why are they coming and i say to him like what are you talking about i didn't say those words that's what i was thinking i said was maintained i said in respectful way to him what are you referring to and he says favors comment the alex see them so 770 mutamos why is everyone coming to 770 for marriage israel from france from brazil from argentina from all over for the holidays for rosh hashanah to be in 770. it's after gable thomas implying that ebb has passed away what are they coming for the rabbit's not blowing schaefer and this was a rhetorical question and then he says without letting me answer or not that i had what to answer and he says well they come in say and da they're coming here that'll say vasen because they know the is their address here is the address 770 is the address my friends 770 is the address for all eden not to exclude the castle and not to exclude robheim kenowski's caver and the gave her and the um and and the sadiq is of course not but 770 is the address it reminds me of what i heard from a diane here in the community in borough park who told me he was a talmud he was a student in lakewood and it was a fabrian i think cinco special ramayana he turned to a hundred two hundred people in the room in the in the sukkah and he said to him heaven if you think i want you to come to 770 and i want you to become lubavitch i want you to become chabad wrong we have enough habadniks in crown heights 770. we don't need more but if you want to see a yiddish if you want to see a real god-fearing person who's genuine come see the rapper and i think of that as when the bureau said to be dou is that address here is the address this is the point the logistics where are you gonna dive in upstairs downstairs and the rep is room in this to the right to the left those are mamish ancillary tougher shepherd toefl wherever your soul be inspired that's where you'll die anyone that make puts a script you must have in here and not hear has it all wrong does that dress and that's why even after gimbal thomas with the rebbe's holy body holy holy body passed on and it's buried at the oil the shoe 770 is where he diving for so many years and when he taught tyra and if i bring with us et cetera and everything is there that's why they're coming and i thought that's a very important lesson that the vl shared and i share it with you another message and experience can i say this because shalom bias today is a big topic and dealing with teenagers and speakers including chabad speakers philosophies that the schools are at fault yeshiva is our fault let's not blame anyone let's blame ourselves we are at fault meaning it's not even about fault we're not connecting we're not connecting there's no question that when children and teenagers see that their parents are on the right page it makes the greatest impact on them and they want to continue in that path maybe not to the same degree but they know that this is their place they know this is their home they know their parents they could talk to and this is what we need to create and abiola shared this with me as well in the following story so a good friend of mine years ago who was very acidic and knowledgeable and everything else decided to trim his beard i was very bothered by it and i approached the bureau this was after i was married this was probably in the late 80s and i said to rabbi i'd like to chastise him i really want to give it to him because he knows better we grew up and we ate from the same bowl of kasha in time in the yeshiva and if you'll turn to me he said though don't say a word just speak positive and be mercative i listened today the young the person has a whole family and as a grandfather you see these children and grandchildren but it was an eye-opener here's abyokon who represents siddhis and comes from where he comes from and he tells i am dolphin excuse the expression shut your mouth put yourself at the side and even though this is your best a good friend don't say anything negative how exactly to translate that talk to your spouses to your masb and to your torah-oriented counselors and i emphasize torah-oriented counselors but one thing's for sure that what abiol taught me at that time as a uh as a 30 year old band that today we need positivity to to deal with people it doesn't mean to say that we should accept every stus every stupidity and all that everything there are parameters and there's guidelines we understand that and we know that we're talking about in your house in your heart of hearts find love and i mean love in the title way of love to your own son and daughter like you would for the stranger outside who you embrace him or her and bring them in even though they're not dressed sneezed modestly and they're they don't have a yarmulke and they took their beard off on and on and on and on and on and i'll say even more even some of the new foolish things and that are happening today and in our own communities let's let's call a spade a spade they also need to be embraced again i don't mean to say that you're allowed to give them an alia and but in concept a jew is connected to hashem if they display a severing of that connection we need to work harder to show them love and genuine love not fake love you know oh i'm putting up with you i tolerate you no i really love you i really care for you it's hard believe me it's very hard but this is the ms and this is what i learned for you and in other instances i saw this with him with people around this table or people who told me about their experiences one person was living with a non-jew and and if y'all knew about it so he and he tells he invited him and he said stay in my basement he didn't say because i want you to break up from your jewish non-jewish girlfriend he didn't say that and he started to learn with him and give him and feed him and you know learn with him in the sense that's at the meals and seeing the goon and the person had a knack from the goonie and today is a full-fledged lubavitcher husset so i've shared three different ideas with you today in memory of his first yard site which is tonight tomorrow valve menachem and it's wonderful to see the swarm the books that are coming out based on his teachings the sharing of information in podcasts like a friend of mine probably winner in in australia just put up teachings that he's been doing every week on podcasts online and you could definitely and should listen to it and other people worldwide that are sharing the message so in this course in this merit made in the summer of arav mahmood the rebbe and lived with it and taught us how to love and connect ourselves with the rabbi will have trius him and will all be zaika to have the banyan base amigdas before tish above and celebrate mashiach's birth on this above the court of mamish um in kenya herod