Klolei HaChinuch from Rebbe Raayatz 1898 #2 - responsibility-hard work-effort-Assessing yr Talents

okay so we're on page in the claudia of the previous rabbit the principles of education and guidance we're on page 21 and the volume we're using from the khabab hasidic heritage series on paragraph three so to recap briefly that ebber started off saying that uh the the idea of education and guidance it's two things it's you know these aren't just repetitious words if you could have it there wasn't a poet where he repeats words but rather there's a purpose and a meaning and as the we will study this uh treatise i believe it will be clear to us what's the difference between between education and guidance i believe even already in the second chapter he'll start addressing that anyway and he says that it's it's hard work so like in good old-fashioned style we don't uh mince words and we tell you the truth up front that it's hard work it's so funny because i was just now in shoe and you know i see various different types of hasidim come to this nate's minion and they're darkening loud and they're screaming and they're shaking and and and they mean it i i'm not but i was thinking to myself which is harder to do that or to contemplate and meditate and look deep into yourself and it becomes very very painful when you see your uh flaws and issues and and and you use what we call his abundance meditation reflection to to to try to improve you know i'm not sure which is um which is a harder avoid i think the chabada is much harder so as much as it takes to shake and schvitz you know and get a good schmitz and a good scream uh it's all that is all ritonius compared to plymouth and hetzonius is not bad but it's catonias you know making your fist harder and harder he was making with his fist you know like how hard could you make your fist that's an external move of my hand and making a fist and making it harder and squeezing it tighter okay but benimius hello nimius is a a very different avoider and there ever here right from the beginning right from the beginning right from the beginning teaches us that if you want to be a successful educator and guide it's hard work both on your part as the teacher and the guide and i'll add the word and and i'm the recipient and if you expect anything less than a vodka look at those last few words on the first paragraph vavo de kocha okay i mean that you know that means look at the english demands are durious and laborous work that's heavy and if that's not enough what is the rebel ad the agia atsuma with much toil and effort and evil and then he goes further diligence effort of the of the of the soul and effort of the flesh so kind of he has here one two three four five steps in how much we need to work on accomplishing a successful educator guide to a student to be successful now he's he doesn't say this to scare us he's telling us to understand what what it entails so you come into the classroom and you expect the students to listen to you and you have your ideas it's very nice as the rabbit but if you the educator didn't go through this process and understand that this is the process then you know you're barking up the wrong tree you won't you won't succeed you won't succeed hello sorry stay in the corner 17th 45th okay then then yeah can you go over the five steps again what would a five yeah well well let's let's do it by following what the the rebbe's words uh do you have the the the last to the next to the last line in the first paragraph you're innocent yeah yeah okay the second word let's go back one line after the period in general what am i talking about their evidences it uh it's um education entails tremendous responsibility this would be six if you if you want to count that would be six number two avoid the kosher that's two which means uh ordurius hard work order which can be carried out only with profound okay big sumo which means with hard toil hard effort that would be four number five be guillas nephesh toil of the soul yes buster toil of the flesh okay thank you yeah but again you know the rabbit the rebbe is not you know saying it's one two three four five he you know he's writing it in he's writing it but i'm just breaking it down a little bit if you really want to look at it carefully you could see that he that he's you know what's the difference for example acharyas you know what the difference is maisha is a god by yeshua he has a certain acharyas there might be someone else who comes in the morning to set up the chairs and to clean the floors and to prepare the coffee but guess what he's a volunteer which is also volunteer but the point being that that guy hasn't taken the acharas and at the end of the day if the coffee is not ready if this is not in place they're not going to come to him they're going to come they come to him the guy will say what do you want from me hey i didn't get a chance to do it i slept in i had a wedding for two in the morning who are they going to go to next the gabai and if the gabby doesn't respond they go to the rabbi right so responsibility means i feel it's personal it's i am responsible you know don't what's the expression in english don't pass the book to someone else right you know what i mean so the rapper says that the first thing of a mechanic of an educator is to feel an acharyas to the student what does that mean that it's my job to succeed with this student and anything less than succeeding with a student is a failure now you'll say well i tried tried is not good enough triad is not good enough if minashramayam at the end you know it doesn't work the way you wanted it to work and and that's already god's god's call but from your perspective don't put hashem your perspective i must succeed like i've told you look for excellence not mediocracy and it's only when you have an acharyas and and and just since we're talking about acrylics you know that's the whole idea of cabola we talk about cabola means it's my job don't look at anyone else but he could do it she can do it it'll get done no that means you don't have a cries means that i was given a task and it's my responsibility and that's what the rapper says it's the the the what's the word uses the um tremendous tremendous tremendous tremendous achievements that an educator and a guide is given and a parent is given so just that one word is an entire ethos an entire concept and then there's avoid the question you know yes moshe yeah i was just gonna say it's interesting but you see this this is just such a colic if a person doesn't accept responsibility for something there's not gonna be any chance that there's going to be he's going to achieve excellence exactly exactly as you're saying there's exactly so and then there's accepting responsibility with hard work not like hey i'm the ceo you do this delegating and all that yeah even if you have all the money in the world but if you want results you have to invest in your employees and company and an ibm that's already an old company but i remember years ago they used to talk about the ibm training program and they even said certain chabad rabbis took took the course how to train their slogan their employees and employees you know what's the code the good thing is that's available first it costs money you got out of pocket you got to shell out the money number two you know the training the implementation of the training to get the employees to agree to to sit and listen to what you've been trained with to teach them it's it's my way the question it's a hard work it's like insulin to get the balabaton to get the congregants to not just follow a script but to understand the makeup of this particular shul that they're in so they understand and then this morning is an excellent example i knew ahead of time i don't generally dive in there because he considers himself whatever so he dives at his own pace he mama has 10 people 11 people that's it because people don't put up with an hour and a half davening even a rosh goldish but i knew that ahead of time and because of various reasons i had to go there this morning so avoid the kosher means you have to know that guidance and education has a certain script and in a school there's a certain script and one shoe is different than the other shoe so what goes and flies at the carol box rule might not fly these codes what flies right coders might not be in khabad with complies it doesn't fly in the literature's rule but avoid the question why is it available because you the guide the the educator needs to think about that as you educate the the the the the talmud the student and the continent and guess what and sometimes you have to say this is the wrong shoe for you but on one hand you're losing you're losing the congregant but the truth is the emma says that that's the best advice if you see someone and i think mostly you and i have spoken about this over the years about different people you know it's important to when a person if you know to develop a a relationship with a person you have to have a relationship you have to be on the same page then you could talk about anything and one of the things you could talk about is listen i know you're unhappy here well you know this is the system right or wrong this is the system of this shule you will be much happier if you go to the other shule why because that's more your style and that's the best advice that agape can give a guardian who is frustrated right you know um it definitely happens it definitely happens it definitely definitely happens of course it happens certain guys who came in i don't know just just 30 seconds there's certain guys that came into kodush they wanted a certain type of davening and um they they didn't they didn't last right and lasted right it wasn't quite right and and and re and in hindsight it was a mistake for them to you know it was a mistake not their cup of tea and and and and it's this way in every issue so what what's that ever saying that a smart and good educator take understands that learns how to learns how to deal with that and that's part of education you know they um there were certain buckaroo who they were laboratories and for some reason they had issues with the hon holo in the yeshiva and amma or shiva told them for you would be best to go to electricity yeshiva and he said what to go to the lynch fox i'm a lubacher they listened and they went and they became a bigger laboratory by going through the literature so it took it took the smarts of the of the rash shiva the mashpiya to see that this this guy needs a good kick in the pants and when he's going to taste some of the the literature methods which is going to smack in the face of his it will make him a stronger laboratory and only be thankful that he was in the babbage and the same is true vice versa and it's not it's not a game it's it's it's it's what i'm saying is it's a method of education not everyone is cut out for every yeshiva not everyone's cut out for every shul etc and the same is true for casitas and we're taking a few minutes we're going we're talking a little bit off on a tangent but it's important i think not everyone is cut out to be above a request and this is what i keep on writing about and talking about and hopefully something gets true through a hosted means someone who inside feels something and gravitates to a certain person or a certain mahalak you know today we live in this hot posh world where you just you do whatever you want you put on a garlic butter you don't you do i'll keep a struggle white black brown and green you know ubu baba what do they call them the breslif khabad and then karobak they have an acronym i'm sorry and i'll say it public it's nars kite it's pure nonsense why is it nonsense not because the people aren't good people they're great people and they mean well but they've not been guided properly it means do you feel a deep connection with rab nachman and breslif then that's your mahalak that should be what that should be your approach and if you're really into a certain approach that's that's it it doesn't mean you can't dive in another shoe it doesn't mean you shouldn't yes i'm sorry forgive me i just just on that note though it's interesting what you're saying you know you on the one hand one person could say no question that you were what you just said you're correct but you could also take it look at the flip side and look at a person you know i've often seen that um [Music] people they like they just they may not be just they may not be holding there yet to be committed fully with both feet let's say to depress the rest of the cities they may you know for whatever rate for variety of different reasons they may need to be in that space of sort of like nishta hindi hair i mean you're right not you know you're right but but you said it yourself for certain reason at certain times right but there but mostly there comes a time in the person's life where they have to kind of hey what am i where am i what am i and it doesn't mean to say you can't say look i the whole idea of to see this it's not just above it so babbage you know highlights it and talks about it if i brings about it but but it's terrorizable it tells the perceptive is that he had to meet him he that is telling me them each should come to their own determination and avoid this hashem and that becomes their mahalak that's what he wanted does this idea of hasidic if you know what am i your husband what does that mean of our town of the market and the market had rebellious and he had the chernobyl and he adopted it and he had the birthday and it goes on and on and they have students and it's and it all makes one wholesome considers but but each had a mahalak and we know in in in in life if you if if you're serious about something you choose a certain path you're either an engineer a lawyer a doctor a businessman a rabbi a guy by this or that what you know few people you know master you know various mahogany i mean i'm not there are some they're so you know gifted so when we talk about why am i saying this because here we're talking about avi we're talking about i mentioned that at the end of the first paragraph we see six different steps necessary for proper guidance and education and the first one is it's it's this it's the end of the first paragraph the line before the last few words responsibility and then he said avoid the kosher hard work so from there i went on to say that you know it's hard it's hard work you need to invest you need to create a model and it's heavy because atuma great effort begins against boston okay next paragraph the rabbit taught us that this avoid this activity is um no we didn't learn the ending we didn't learn paragraph two is that correct we're going to learn it now [Music] second paragraph page 21 all of man's activity actions whatever they may be they not faders beyonce whether they be exceedingly difficult whether they be rather easy since they come from an action an act it comes from the spiritual to the physical in other words the the previous rabbit he says it without really explaining it but we've learned in different my mourinho every gash means has a precursor which is the luchnius of that same paula there is no such a thing that we do something in the gospels thicker world avi that didn't begin in a spiritual state before it came into the gosh me so this just and so it's also true regarding poulos activity actions the actions begin in the and they come to the gosh me and he says further [Music] it requires a certain preparation for that's corresponds that's mocked him to that activity in other words like this if you say that an activity is begins in gosh me so we are in the gosh me world why does it need preparation this is our world it says that you have it right wrong it doesn't begin in the gosh it begins in the rook in the spiritual and therefore for it to successfully trans transfer from the gas me to the rookhni you need preparation he calls it thoracious kisarain [Music] and based on the essence of the activity and their and their idea and message kane heim hakishlyness hamas so are the certain talents that are needed for them to succeed mostly what he's saying is simple simple english if you want teaching and education and guidance to be successful you have to know it begins inside we call it that's what he calls the luchni and therefore you need to tap into certain talents to make it successful for guidance and education in other words if you use your ability to play golf as a way to teach it's as it will be a disaster because you're you're you're calling upon the wrong talent that's his point every every activity needs a certain talent that's my team that corresponds to the activity and this this this uh this key shadow also needs to be based on the efficacy of the resultant action is determined by the degree to which one successfully reveals this talent [Music] in other words what is he adding with these words very simple it could be you have a talent and could be you're gonna you want to access the right talent but if you don't access the talent that you have which is the right talent for the particular message and activity that you want to accomplish and you use it and it's revealed you won't succeed so let's let's let's break that down let's talk about that you have a student who's closed the student is not very expressive you don't know much about the students abilities how do you open up that student and that is i'm just giving an example so that ever saying you the educator have to find within yourself that particular talent that's made for opening up a student and this student the next day you have another student and that student can't stop talking talking the whole time if you use the talent that you used yesterday to open up the student for the student who loves talking you won't get you won't get him to be quiet because you're using the wrong talent in other words each paula requires a certain talent and then that talent needs to be beginning he says look at the word he says well if he open his galaxy based on the amount of revelation of your talent can't hear to ellis so will be the result of your of of of the activity so the success the success for a student who needs to be opened up requires a certain talent of yours to be open and used and recognized and felt by the student and that's and that same and and and the other student who can't be quiet that student needs a different a different talent now you got you you already see how how intricate education is how how it's an entire torah that's why on the first line of that's why the the the title after aleph on page 21 he says i told you yesterday so in english it translates the field which yeah taurus it's an entire torah it's an entire philosophy it's an entire ethos it has a structure it has rules and this is an example if you put it all in one pack i'm a teacher i'm coming into the last classroom because i need a job and i'm not trained properly and i haven't assessed the students you'll fail you'll fail as a teacher as an educator and the same as a parent so in paragraph number two that we just learned that ebb already starts explaining to us how education and guidance is an entire torah any uh comments or questions heaven clear okay when we talk about talent again just to review the the the the the grip is telling saying the person has to use access specific talents meaning you mentioned before like a person uses his abilities to play golf to try to educate in this context is going to fail so i assume we're obviously speaking about talents of being an educator in those towns that are specific to but in order to become an educator you need to go to a big hotel a place where they measure your talent and to find out whether you do have a talent for education correct no you don't you're right you're right your arms are right but but a parent you know if everyone you know anyone has children is a parent but but you're right even there even there um i know of cases and you probably know too and maybe we all have it with some of our kids with some of our kids i thought from my own experience i succeeded in learning with them and with some and you know and and it went smoothly and with others it was an uphill ballot battle and i gave up meaning to say either i lacked the talent to know how to communicate to this particular student's child or the child was didn't feel that i had the talent that he or she wanted so what i'm saying you know you said you're mentioning about you made a good point you know you you need to find out and assess your talents but i'm saying even in parenting which in a way they're all my kids right you know so you're having a responsibility but even there even there too it's an important thing to assess your parenting skills and know which which you're strong in and you'll succeed with them and which your wife is stronger in and she'll succeed and you back off yeah but but you know when i got married i was like 20 years old i had my first kid when i was 24 what did i know about education about kids about you know and then they kept coming yep and then i have to deal with them you're not you're not the only one you know but you're right you're right so no and and you're right in yeshiva no one taught us how to parent no it was like it and probably i don't think yeshiva's today to teach people how to parent be parents parents you know you're right so it that that's why that's why this countries is so valuable to to study a friend of mine a good friend of mine told me that he he he studied this and went over it two or three times as a booker yeshiva now it doesn't mean you know what i'm saying it it's a hindus that this is not samakhv then my muramada ashab and it's not the rashi and ramban and gamora but but that you know for whatever reason you know uh they didn't teach it to us and maybe they should it could be in in girls schools there's more education of of this sort in in in to girls but also not enough but more okay um i think we'll stop here you know we we went off on a tangent a little bit today but it was important you know you can't rush the every paragraph here needs to meet needs verb verbiage needs to talk it out because you know like like you know what judassin said what you said earlier very good comments you know i'm saying it it clarifies you know and and again i picked up on what you said moishe like the rebels using the word talents you know does it mean only talents you know because you know talents you know we we all have certain talents and we don't have other talents so so what does it mean that i that if i don't have other talents um i can't be a parent and the answer is sometimes of course you could be a parent but you have to know what you're strong in and what you're weak in and and you have to know who can communicate better you know the rebbe regarding shidduchim the rebel writes to the parents in his letters he writes that you know the the they're they're saying rabbi can't get my son married my daughter married whatever uh and they're not meaning whatever the rebel says many times get a friend to talk to them he writes that look into the letters there are certain times parents can't do it and it requires what we call a big brother a big sister and and and they could save the boy and girl and give them what they need for life so you know as as uh as hard as it is to swallow that that pill you know hey it's my son it's my daughter what do i have to go to an outsider there are times you have to go to an outsider and just you know if you accept it you'll be happier if you don't accept it you're going to be miserable i mean i've seen this i have someone here you know like he was raised in the you know in the the yeshiva system the literature yeshiva system actually and he now became more you know chabad or you know like in khabad and all that and he has a he has a teenager that's having a very rough time with you today he's already probably an uh an early adult and i i spoke to him and he's like talking to a wall he cannot vacate what he was trained with in the yeshiva system that what do you mean he's going to sit home and not learn and just waste his time and you know like you know like taking this get over it you know no it's in his blood and that's that's an example of someone who's failing as an educator a guide and a parent you know i'm sorry the result is what counts where the result is what counts swallow your ego and do what's best for them you can't do it gets hire someone or get someone from the community and and back off and um give them autonomy to work with your son or your daughter not you know have them do the dirty work and you're still gonna call the shots and overrule them when you want to that's that's a rule that i have when i do counseling especially with young people i tell the parents i will invest in this but i don't want to hear from you that you're not happy because first of all i'm not going to listen to you and if that's what you want i don't want to do it it's not a it's a waste of time on your part of my part if you give someone a responsibility you must give it with a full heart and if you don't trust that person don't give it it's not fair to him and not fair to you enough and mostly unfair to the recipient to the child to the teenager to the student so these are all things that are as we will study a small a good educator takes into consideration in making the assessment of a student and how to deal with it having to have a great day we'll see everyone tomorrow at take care