Klolei HaChinuch Education Principles Rebbe Raayatz #8

the kids are the second paragraph let's read the kids are together human beings people hembale milos vegenius have virtues and deficiencies but they'll do some from birth or gillusam from habit whoever has their the please mute yourself everyone the achaelis it is possible for the ovate so ovaid now becomes a noun the worker the servant in khabad it's a very very large buzzwork buzzword an ovate are you an ovate are you a naivete he's annoying meaning he works on himself in yeshiva it means he darvens with lots of cover on there for a long time doesn't jump and down to breakfast or to lunch but the middle of davening that was shabbos afternoon spends two three hours davening that's the connotation of ayved in chabad okay thereby here in our essay that every here uses it as someone who works on himself to transform the deficiency and negativity to a virtue okay so that's the context of ovate here so ovate is a general word depending on which surroundings and which arena does it have its meaning so it could be in the sephardic world or if it has a different meaning and in the literature world a third meaning but it's a general word that reflects avoida work okay hey tonight shaney now i'm getting to the second prerequisite of the condition to be a proper mechanic the preparation doesn't seem like it's very different what does that mean let's see what he means preparation is [Music] his education and his guidance your view to alice who not any tom dick and harry to use the modern the the slang or whatever english slogan idiom not every person who wants to take the name little shame of being called madrid we spoke about this yesterday can take upon himself this great responsibility why someone who is not fit for this position not only and if he does take the position yaakov although he's not suitable for the position not only does he not correct the situation he doesn't bring tikkun hello he says more so whom at cow kale he ruins the situation totally i'll uh totally bizarre but um in english it means you know he he bears responsibility but it means it's like the noose is around his neck moshe you hear that ha coil yeah you need a job become a rebbe and meanwhile the kids suffer because you have no patience and you are abusive or whatever else [Music] is around your neck my friend what you're doing is terrible and you don't belong there very important don't sell yourself for money i know you need panosa we need to get you parnosa but make sure you're in the right position who's a good ceo someone who knows how to delegate responsibility there's to find the appropriate job for the not to fire him not to cut his legs off not to leave him without prognosis he's not good for this position get him another position i was thinking about this yesterday i don't know okay the idea of commitment or responsibility and care knows if you care about someone you're going to help them if not here there and this is this is missing today you should know at least i don't know it's missing it's like we're technical we're going to get you a position if it doesn't work out you're out on the street no that that's not real obviously that's not real that's technicality of you know uh you need it you need a rabbi yeah you need a you need a rebbe and you need a worksman you find him a position and when you don't need him anymore go fly a kite if you take a look and that's not just a kabad you take a look in organizations who are those that are you know say most successful those leaders and ceos who are really concerned about their employees and their and their staff that they they keep them on staff forever now you'll say yeah now of course if there's no funds anymore it's a problem you know and if if we go if we belly up and and it's bankrupt and we're out i'm not talking about those situations but this idea he's not good here so i'm thinking i'm i'm coming to this idea because he says here the not every person is is fit to be a mechanic fine but he's fit to do something else yes i some years ago and one yeshiva i was quite not successful in another issue i was much more successful and in one in one issue they got the better of my temper and elizabeth i said that i you know i didn't handle myself right and in another place i it went much better so it had to do with all the illuminati with the kids and what i was able to do with it and and all that one point about the turnover is very important and it's it's unfortunate culture of turnover that they don't really invest in the teachers to want to keep them on you know some they have to be really really talented and really grab the kids you know and they'll offer you a contract for life and one such person uh that he was very captivating like that but you have to have that kind of personality to make luna call run like that and then ready you have much different it's much different sure in the morning much difference by getting in a much different way in the afternoon you have to really invest yourself right and and the school has to know the boys have to know that the school is investing in you and then it's uh you know right and you can't get that support it all it all works out with you how do you know which things through right i i i in the chabad model of sliches the way i grew up and in my time what i said earlier was the idea that when you were hired by a a hedge leak it was for life it was it's not in other words you hired someone you you took someone to become your partner as part of you so if you cut him off you're cutting yourself off and you don't want to cut yourself off right so you don't cut him off you know the story i've told you it's worth mentioning briefly rabbi shleimer schwarzwartz he told me over the shoulder he told me i asked him what was going on house in 1970 71 72 those years and he said look let me tell you how we live together we had a a a junker car in in the garage of of ucla at the cabaret house right the first cabaret house on campus with a ucla and and he said it was i rabbi cunin and rabbit levitansky over shoulder well we need three cars but we only have one that's right because they couldn't afford that he only had one i said how did you manage you hear what he told me he said listen the cars never left the ignition when schwartz needed it he turned the ignition into the d-turn mission and levitansky needed he turned the ignition in other words it wasn't their individual car it was the it was car community it that's the attitude so anyway let's continue everyone understands let's continue for the great activity and responsibility of the educator in the guide must examine himself but yes it says more than an ordinary person if you're an educator you're a guide self-examination for you is more important okay i'll pay the gimbal as we said earlier in chapter 3 [Music] for this is his entire moral and spiritual existence depends on self-examination [Music] and using a certain signal you know signal means style of language you know we talk about it you could say the same thing but with different words sometimes the usage of the cigna in hillel makes all the difference of the world all the difference in the world right you didn't you aren't bad you did something not appropriate the activity is wrong not you and etc those ideas that we call the signaling so this the the educator and guide must examine himself what are the manners the styles the formats that he's using for education guidance here it is you must have the ultimate of patience right there many of us many of us are disqualified my wife asked me she's having a meeting with a principal she said i said what do you think my strengths are in education i said number one your patience anyone that has patience in a classroom or in a in in a educational system to me patients you know so that's what the rabbit says here she but tackles our patients you have to have the ultimate of messi newt of patience and um deference the ishtar lymphoid biscuit and he should find the educators should find sayings that are appropriate to to to share the instruction that he desires sharing the being from the word yeah yeah i mean she expressed them but be to him with expressions yup and beautiful ones le mans so that they will be engraved in the heart of the educated and the guided the yamdu will negate enough and they will stand before his eyes the gambias even after he leaves his educator and his guide you know like you know hillary said yesterday he shared with us i remember what we learned in that mimer about amher ureths right a short a short thing and it's not even the kiddish of the red but the rabbit is quoted it's rashi but it just hits you the right way those buzzwords and those lines you know can make such a difference to people and you walk away with it and that's what you and that's what you live with that's what the rebels talks about in the in this in this paragraph here how important it is so the educator has to self-examine itself what expressions am i going to use you know really when you give a shear you know when you take the time to prepare and i remember los angeles when i gave you know this urine self-improvement i spent a lot of time the content i knew but what i worked on was how am i going to express what i want to get across in a short way right to the point what's the expression the plug into the socket right on right bullseye right you know let's go next paragraph needless to say if you have to uproot teva or give us a nature or a habit no that's that's surely the case even if you want to now uh implant a new um good nature and and behavior and character uh whether you want it to become part of the person's nature or you want it to become part of his habit it takes a lot of work with his mom in a lot of times that he himself has to work in it in other words even even if you give the best product to the student if he doesn't work on it nothing going to be right but we're not talking about that now we're talking about you the educator how much you have to invest and know that this is important and it takes work and effort on your part not only are the appropriate phrases important for instruction relevant to education and guidance and the gum or even beethoven orphan you know you could say the same thing but if you say it it has one expression if you say it softly and kindly and a smile it has a whole other different meaning that's when it says elegant orphan hello you're following these every word he has a fetch has a nuance elegant also the manner in which should be to happen he expresses the phrase the the phrases if with it excitement and embarrassment meaning you know he's you could see that it he's all over the place this too is relevant to the foundation the beneficial foundations and he goes further evil evil even general display of agitation and ridicule okay so here what are we identifying we're identifying calmness and patience versus agitation and ridicule the same phrase the same idea but one way it's delivered with calmness and patience and the other way yaakov was delivered with what with agitation you saw that he didn't have a good night's sleep we had a fight with his wife last night people people come at the shoe in the morning the first minion and depending on how they act and what they do right away they say ah so yeah you had you your wife were at each other last night you know let's go further [Music] than is discussing an issue of of deficiencies that are very damaging to man's character qaeda is you hear that he calls this feature in the student in the right he uses embarrassing zill terms for it stupid foolish race whatever maybe foolish is not as bad but you know there's right so look what that says in the in between the lines in the third paragraph 37. really he didn't say anything bad yakov why because my teammate what you did is foolish what you did is stupid but that's not the way you communicate the message to the student is you know i i think back you know they're in donating i had certain rebbes they meant well they had no patience and they would call students stupid horse i had a i had a teacher call me horse fifth grade big rabbi and i and i have only love for him but you know when i when i reflect back and i don't i don't like going there because it's very uncomfortable you know you call the student course it's like why because i didn't get it you know in his mind my thick head didn't get it so he calls me a yiddish ferret horse you know and he didn't really belong in the classroom tremendous but you know you can't be a teacher today he would be you know probably locked up or fired and everything else the point being the the choice of words and communicating the same message and the same idea requires nemos and messiles and this is a prerequisite for an educator he needs there he said let's continue when the teacher when the educator uses this type of language it makes a negative impression to the educated and guided with schmoyer de vries ilse by hearing im ridicule and embarrassing and such type of language i feel who i mean to him ivy look at those words i feel or i meet him even if you do have a thick skull even if you are behaving a certain way in other words you know hell in the way he wants to go there yeah you know another expression they used to use in yeshiva you know is para oden para adam you've heard you heard the expression pedo that means a while like a wild donkey and a wild a wild animal you're a pedophile now believe me i had and i'm sure you guys had we had some wild guys we had wild animals and they deserved the the patch they got and and and but that's not education [Music] you know that leave up to the parents and even there it needs to be really looked at carefully is this the way to educate or is just expressing your anger if these words come out from the mouth of the educator and the mouth of the guide um it causes a diminishing of evaluation and appreciation with a thundery loud voice a stormy voice of agitation they will accomplish their goal that's therapy says night 1898 [Music] nothing has changed guys dividend writers with words of anger that voting with words that are as sharp as like thorns angry language berating them they berate them and they embarrass them even if temporarily they educated guided gets inspired somehow from the agitation and the the the words of embarrassment and anger and all that pdh from here meaning the inside of the educated and the guided and the heart miscavitz shrivels up mitzar from pain right many students never share what they experienced as children as teenagers in in these matters i'm not talking about now abuse and all that i'm talking about well this might be considered abuse today but they they have this inside them and it's very deep to themselves they'll cry they'll cry bitterly that their educators spoke to them in such a way that made them feel insignificant made them feel worthless and useless and it will vanish like a fleeting dream it's interesting because i don't want to say you know names classic show but we do know oh let's talk about a assist a system of learning yaakov later can follow up on this i was sitting in shul here and there was a a um someone who's i think father was in in mir in europe and we had a discussion and he told me that the system in in some of the literacy yeshivas i think mir was one of the yeshivas was that when someone says a pill paul an essay dissertation and explains it the ones listening not only have a right but kind of are obligated to open their mouths and criticize them if need be with it regarding with the the idea the subject matters being this said and if it's wrong they could they could lay it into him you're saying stupidity and and actually it's interesting because i was going to ask anyone here if you have contact with rabbi davis he told me such a story about davis is now the rov of uh based fila i need to know who th what david david thank you rabbi david i need to know who this happened with basically this is what he told me at rabbi uh the the the raven that sits in bait in your shoe is code is rabbi moshe former rubber toronto what's his last name sterling of rochester so i went to stern invited me to this house remember david was there when four years ago so it was wonderful wonderful friday night and ruby i didn't know but david was a a talmud movie cover of salvation grabbed my cellovachic and i had written about ravenclaw of a chick so but the book was republished and so he was very interested in hearing what i wrote about and i was interested in hearing from him he's a and i i didn't know him and he's a victim of hawker but he told me a story that stayed with me that's i think i told you this once but i really want to know who it happened with so if anyone can get me the name because i'm finishing something now it's in my next book and i want i want to i'd like to consider putting in the name anyway the story is that this little man from the bronx who he knew calls him up one day and says uh he was a he was a teenager 18 19 20 says could you give me a ride to rabbit salvation salvation gave twice a year what was called the yard side share at lampert auditorium at yeshiva university with 2 000 people in attendance standing room only and and this and this this man this i would like to go and he was an older man he said sure i'll take you so he says come and he tells him to come at two hours before the sheer to the bronx where he lived and bring them to washington heights where where university is anyway the kids he brings him he goes all the way down you know it's an auditorium go all the way down he parked himself the front row right in front of where rubber salvation would give his his lecture and of course rabbi david is next to him because he's his driver you know you're sitting next to me you know salvation started speaking and speaking and the way it worked is i think the first two hours he spoke gemara and halloh and the next two hours he spoke to russia nagoda on the same idea but he he moved from halakh to from gomorrah to the the the jewish the sermon part of it the um homiletic part of it and what we can walk away with and then it was a it was it was it was a an experience that everyone knew and people came from boston from all over this was twice a year i mean i i looked back i could have been there and i wasn't it's you know you become smarter as you get older anyway so so uh in the middle of rebecca elevatrix russia this old man stands up this little man stands up you know he's five feet or so and he starts saying what you said now stupidity in front of two thousand people and he starts arguing with them and salvation knew him you know and and he kept his calmness kept us cool and and he said i hear bow bow bow we'll soon get to it and he and he's like all over the place some time goes by he gets up again and i have salafatchik but you said it and at that time rabbit david saw that this man is a genius he's like you know shots he say he's this little man he knows that's how they chick again says the rest of the story is not relevant right now the rest of the story is that he walked out he stopped he stomped out out of frustration and he took david with him i mean david told me he was embarrassed he turned colors in front you know this little man is slapping him out in front of the middle of the lecture you'll see robbie salafati is not addressing his his point and then when he got upstairs about to go out he saw a guy and a girl and the guy was telling the girl that oh did you hear you hear what what jb said he called up his elevation by the slang jb right the little man turned around and gave him a slap in the face and he said you just embarrassed the thought of him he grabbed him by the hand he walked back down all the way down and he stopped i think the lecture and he told they told them now and ask ela forgive this remembrance elevation whoever said she said later it's all right let's i'm getting to the point of the risk of the rise of this this this agitation within learning so in the literature yeshiva world at least in in in some of the there was this attitude there's even even a clip you might want to look it up on youtube where the the shiva rabbi shmuel baronbao great thomas of the beer yeshiva israel passed on he's sitting with rabbi boxed b-a-k-s-t who was another beer town there shiva at a wedding you got you got to see it and they're going at each other they are going it's like in the middle of a wedding sitting at a table you know during the meal and they're talking gamora and one says you don't know what you're talking about it's so it's so um real so you see what why do i say this because the rebbe says here for a student for a student in his opinion this is not helpful in the long term but i guess they would disagree because in this system of learning or maybe it's not disagree that they're talking about a context it's a context that you and i the the literacy of shiva pupil atmosphere is is already known to be this style if you don't if you if you don't want it or you don't like it don't come here don't don't don't don't enter the space so i'm just pointing this out yes yaakov yes you call it time we had a similar uh paradigm that they were they were invited to the border that the buffalo would give either in yamara or in the reshivash moves and it wasn't that you ripped them apart it was daca to get more of the essence of what was trying to be said that are you really saying in the most concise cogent uh precise way and that we all have our own ways of thinking and it was to try and help him through his thought process are you really saying this the best way and right i guess i'm sure sometimes words were thrown around but it was really with a with a toeless um to help get to the final product right i i understand and uh i had in lubbock you know teachers who wanted to accomplish the same thing but they they did not use the the rhetoric you know although they did point out and and you know and it was at the middle of us here you know are you really thinking this through you know again there's certain systems that that believe it's more helpful to do that and i think there are other systems that believe it's not let's let me just finish the next paragraph and then we'll finish the benefit of education and guidance the true one is only if you follow all the previous set conditions and prerequisites over milwaukee and fulfilling them in the most beautiful way in a detailed way for us year top of 39 that will be bestowed upon the educator and the guide uh well stop here uh my sure you have wanted to say say anything and you want to say anything but kiss her because um i think it's pretty clear what i just want to say that um you know what we were learning a few minutes ago about um what we've been learning about yes something um um it's um it's unfortunately very real it's unfortunately very real we see that you know i know i know my own children one in particular who you know we only found out later that in keaton first grade that the rebbe was shoving him and shoving him into a corner and um and then and then it happened again that arrebia in third grade was being abusive but that time first when he was in first grade we didn't know what's happening at the time and even we were so inexperienced as parents anyway we didn't know exactly really what to do but the time was third grade it was happening with a different rebbe then we took action and actually we got them switched out in the middle of the year to a different ready to different to a different rebbe and then the following year the school let him go let that rebbe go right because he was physically yeah i i have it now i have it uh one of my children with their with their child's education they're having a similar issue and they're maybe in first grade you know um yeah today always but we ha we have to really uh go be on top of these things from the earliest of age you know because they could they ruin children for the rest of their life and it's so not right you know it really is in a way of abuse meaning to say it's not you know sexual abuse of or maybe physical abuse but you know when they shove him and they pull him by the collar it is but uh and there's no we shouldn't tolerate it it doesn't work you know maybe it worked in europe first of all i don't think it did you know they could say whatever they want i don't think it did okay it created a mad men mad men and and and bad situations okay they could they could say whatever it is and i'm sorry it's not but especially you know later on uh the children the the young adults the the teenagers walk around with anger and issues and it was it all it's this is this is not a simple thing this is and and if you don't have a system cooperating with you go elsewhere go elsewhere there's so much available today and you could find the right setting you know at the end of the day everything's and abstraction no question about it but a person has an obligation to do their establish and deal with the situation we should have all a good day we'll see everyone tomorrow bye