Klolei HaChinuch Education Principles Rebbe Raayatz #18

each we're on page 83. let's learn the kit sir the rule that ebba says is that the educator should deal with the worst type of malady in the student and put aside the others don't try to get everything done at once and that this is why i just repeat and i don't want to go over the whole thing he spent a lot of time talking about what is who is the person the russian the will the time of the pleasure because if you identify that you understand both on the positive side and the negative side what needs to be done but his conclusion is very very clear in the kit sir let's go the word hasaras to remove the deficiency that's most dangerous and disgusting yourself the most that's what should be your goal and objective and this tool just for a moment is some is many times an educator fails in that area you know which means he goes for uh straws for hay when you're talking about you know some something so there are things that are so much more important and so much more you know sensitive and to deal with so don't waste your time dealing with the decline of zachen first get rid of the over the the greatest obstacles and from there go okay you're trying to this is the final prerequisite for the matzah for the situation of a student for the educator to reckon with and deal with this praise and reward [Music] he he made inborn within a man they saw niggela to have pleasure from praise a normal average person has pleasure tainook from praise the le sheif el hagmul bisacre and to seek reward good reward you know many times you see people when you honor them and they and they shun you or not shun you but they they you know they say well rare is the person who really means a deep down because by nature a person likes praise okay they say over there was his husset his name was reb avraham paris um he was a yet a student of the rebel shop in the bavaj and um they brought he made his way to after after russia to pucking to parking the dp camp over there where many yidan were after the war and someone brought him some food and he asked him does it taste good and he looked up and he said why are you cursing me he he [Music] worked so hard all his life not to enjoy food to eat the food because he needs it for the existence of his body but the enjoyment is unnecessary it's called the you know on his level of taiva so here some someone you know gave him a break and a wish he should enjoy his food so he considered that a curse now you really have to be about target to feel that true truly you know what i mean um and no one will ever know it's only between you and hashem so the the average person is not that way we got we have to begin there and that's what the rapper says that a person enjoys praise has kainuk not just simcha but he has deep pleasure when he's praised villashay fell and he and he seeks he yearns reward the soccer taif we all do bain musa vengashmi and the rabbit says he's seeking ethical reward and he's seeking material reward ala yoshinova hey i invested so many years in educating my children you know let's talk about this for a second and they don't turn out to be the way i my wife my rabbi my community wants them to be they feel disappointed and the question is always do they is this right or wrong and we've discussed this many times and we've said that the truth is everyone has their own connection to hashem so to have an expectation is not healthy nevertheless nevertheless if it's not an expect not an expectation but just look hashem departure several weeks ago last week right um doesn't mean just rain geshen comes from the word gas mius kashmiyut your materiality your material matter when you will keep the title you'll get kashmir's no what if a person is not blessed with kashmir and i'm not talking about being you know a billionaire russian struggles does he have a right to ask hashem hashem i invested i did what you wanted why do i deserve not to have and it's and the the democratic and the babachira obey him in in in some of them my murmuring rosh hashanah on the possibility from out of distress i called to hashem and only answer me with broadness and expansiveness have it actually starts with the alta rebel all the rabbi they have this idea that they explain that the world hashem made has both poverty and wealth that's the way he created the world the question is why should i be the poor one or why should i be the rich one and they say the person has a right to koroshi minamitsarkarasi from out of distress i called yes hello is what i'd say that in the 30s hillard cyclin wrote an yeah a word to the nations it's in uh i forget which shaper it's in but but in it he addresses the national character of each nation and uh you know they're kind of like good sides and their challenges right for a bunch of different nations and when it comes to the united states he says america you need to recognize that wealth and poverty all comes from god and they're both tests and he says what's the what's the test of wealth the test is how well you share it that's right and uh and um he said you know you've been uniquely blessed in human history with you know with a great big country and great natural resources and a very industrious population he says but if you don't share the wealth that you have he said your your place as the preeminent global economic power could be displaced he said writing in the 30s even by japan interesting fascinating insider point at this time right so let's go back thank you so so though an expectation is not a healthy attitude but nevertheless uh a call and a cry is that see that's the difference rossi yaakov does not mean i expect it means i'm in pain i'm calling out to hashem and i made sarcoidosis out of distress that's perfectly acceptable so when the rebbe says here in this paragraph that a person yearns for sochartoif good reward whether it be ethical or material for the good that he does it's from that perspective that he's coming from well and and at the same time it's natural for one to receive scolding although and this is very muscle-like i'm sure yaakov relates to this well from his his knowledge of muslim to acknowledge a punishment or evil that we get because of our crookedness and bad acts yes tit for tat you know you go through a red light you can get a ticket and pay and deal with it that's the way it is this inborn or acquired characteristic uh is concealed concealed and hidden in the depths of the heart and mind of the student educated ones a good educator works on revealing those feelings in the student the hazak the fire han by fortifying extolling and polishing the beautiful traits and virtues and to distance and remove and uproot the disgusting and low low-light low-life type of unhealthy things upon this is dependent on educators if if efforts in this regard so in other words what he's saying here is the following in simple english don't discount reward and punishment when it comes to education and again here let's not confuse this with bribery not talking about bribery here we're talking about you work hard you get a reward you don't work hard and you goof up you get a punishment you get a you know whatever whatever you deserve that ever says that if done correctly even this is relevant to the development the healthy development of a student and this is a very uh one second yeah this is a very sensitive issue because the line between bribery and um and ms is very thin and you know one needs to be very careful in in educating especially when it comes to educating not to sell the product not to give the product because of what you will get or won't get because usually that backfires there are some people that can handle it but most people cannot and this has nothing to do with how religious you are and where you came from and all that it's a natural tendency that's what he says here by human beings to appreciate reward and uh to understand punishment but but it's up to the educator to reveal it by the student yes yaakov me right now but i don't and i don't want to whitewash irish because orange definitely means punishment but there is also another aspect to our actions and then just a consequence it's a consequence okay so again somebody help me can somebody help me with a word for consequence uh um i don't recall right now too but the word in hebrew is ironish but it also means consequence but i'm not going to say that it doesn't mean punishment [Music] uh the general rule ain't um [Music] one needs tools to be an artisan you're not an uman right moisture is an um in art look at this beautiful background on the wall it's just it's so it's so i look at it i'm inspired through the screen right so you have the um and you need tools to accomplish that okay the rabbit says this is true in every type of situation being whether it be with actual work of the hand you know whether it be with makshava with your head with your mind the work of the mind uh and whether it be in the in the craftsmanship in the ethical craftsmanship of study and education in each of these areas an artisan requires tools you don't have the tools you can be the greatest artisan but you don't have what to work with the thing is that the tools change the female husband is based on the on the craftsmanship you didn't expect this this morning huh the paintbrush in the hand of the artist means the paintbrush [Music] in the hand of the artist who kidna garzan is similar to the axe in the hand of the builder and ukl uh tools bidet hamori next page 85. in the hands of teachers educators and counselors are similar to the tools of the artists and the builders the the pupils the students he's extending now the analogy and are like raw material in the hands of the educators cole kramer every material requires a certain preparation right cloth parts with fertility needs what we call dorsos and other right things and the same is for every type of material you can't have you can't make a proper chair if there's splinters in it you have to sand it down so too the tools used for educating needs preparation so it is with students we first must prepare them that they should be able to receive education that's proper for them i should you you shut him with ava leave that will be good proper and good in addition to doing mitzvos and having pure faith in others there's ethical issues that need to be prepared that the educator must prepare the student so that he succeeds listen to this what are one of these tools praise you need to praise a student that's right you have to make them feel a hundred a million bucks you make them feel good flattery has its place well i just want to say the that it takes a really special person to say that like ci i know you're referring to defeat friday caleb anyway why is this important to remove him to take him out of his master look again and to place him on a plateau that's kavya that's higher greater merced than he was when he came in to the to the room to this to the educator so this is what we're talking about hilo and praise and you're on mute everybody what else okay so this is about praise now the move is the reward when you tell a student you'll be rewarded for this it supports and strengthens the ed the student i could tell you guys for me personally this was so true when i was a student i'm telling you i thrived on on knowing that if i will work hard i will get a good mark and i will be recognized see every person you know now another another person could say well you're you know you're a yes you're a big you know you're a yes an ego you're well you couldn't you couldn't do that without that that's first of all that's my judgment not someone else's and secondly that's not really a a a a yiddish man coming from the yates or if it's coming from the other side why because if a student needs that they should use it there'll be time later and and in my case too when i got older and i got to morristown and we started to learn seriously this and i looked at myself and my character my issues i said hey do do i is this enhancing my ego or it's bringing more bitter and i dealt with those issues then i try to at least you know so so and the number by the way this is a rambam the rambam says the way you educate a child you start off with such candies and there you go with toys and presents and from there you go with with with honor the whole system that amba mentions and when the rambam mentions that he's not saying it just to make you feel good he's telling you that because that is the healthy way of of development so the rebbe says here i just you know like triggered it triggered something in me when i read here to do better i experienced it you know uh yes i i i remember i remember walking around saying to myself i want to be the best in the class not second best the best so again if taken to an extreme and you know leading to you know putting down others and things like that it's not it's not acceptable but for oneself and this is important you know you have you have children we all have children you know and and and we see different some of them need us more than others right and we and and so the rep is saying educator mechanic don't forget that this is crucial for the development of your student and you have to know how to to reveal it in the student on the other side on the other hand scolding look what he says here in the with two lines where is it coming from from hidden love you don't give musser because you're angry or frustrated if so like i told you you're not in the position of giving muslims you should be quiet and this is true both in relationships with shalom buyers and everything if you had a bad day at work and you come home you start giving musser you're wrong muslim based on your own on our own idiosyncrasies and issues is not healthy muslim and it should not be said close your mouth he says here when we talk about tohoku that it needs to come to us because you really love this person this student and it's from that perspective that you say the moosa what's the litmus test the previous it happened in 1924 has a whole page a moosa and i'm sorry i'm giving criticism one of the one of the criteria is that if the person who you give the the cr muslim to walks away and kind of doesn't listen and you get upset that you spend so much time and effort sharing it he says then you're not a candidate to give muslim because you're not genuine if muslim needs to be given because it's the right thing from god's perspective at that time that's it what you get out of it makes no difference and if you feel it makes a difference then you're not genuine at giving muslim you have an agenda you have a precondition you have a you have a selfish motive and giving that muscle and you shouldn't be giving it giving that criticism it has to come from genuine hidden love but when you point the finger al on the crookedness and the sin baby meal is being heavily matters maybe the diamond worldly matters not just between god man and god man of man you point out that you made a a big mistake here the long straight cause you have what is it okay and the consequences yaakov likes that word better and the consequences that are very severe because of this mistake okay so it's up to the educator to find the best manner and best way but funny is [Music] and the proper and most beautiful ways to share reward and punishment of consequences joyce what does this mean the educator must was must pay attention make his heart and mind pay attention the right measure amount of praise and and and and rebuke the guideline and the how much reward and punishment he has to evaluate how much of that is to share but more so kim gom alha ellis he needs to think about the double benefit the student will see that the what's more so he's saying is that the student will realize that my educator my teacher is firm and proper right meaning he's he's fair that's the word i want fair yay means fair his hannah is because even when he gives me muslim he does it with love and calmness the ownership became lava and he if he does give punishment and consequence it's with sincerity of heart um and the praise and the reward are all appropriate so what he's saying is as we said earlier that when the the student realizes that the teacher means his best there will be so much more willingness to accept and hear the praise and the consequences kitsune slava muhammad by choosing the the style of praise and rebuke they funny and the methods of dispensing reward and punishment this concludes this 17 chapter essay um we are a few days of martin tata it's the third day so it's appropriate just to conclude with a few minutes about martin tata and this is there's many things to talk about but briefly martin toyota on one hand it seems like what do i have to do buy flowers and cheesecake like this is an easy jumpthis the truth is that this is in a way the hardest junctive you know why it's the hardest jump diff because you have to find things to make adjunctive and i don't mean flowering cheesecake flowers and chicken cheesecake i mean to to look into yourself and ask yourself the question am i living with tata do i want the trader am i telling the trader what to tell me and and and this is why the swedish aimer is the proper transition between pesach and chavuz because unless we we we we unless we don't we we don't have this we come into yamtif we say yiddish a naked one bare bones listen hashem loves us and hashem accepts accepts everyone so you know just as in the chabadas in 65 and 69 everyone's welcome hippie not hippy hair no hair pants no pants just come in you're jewish come in right you know we don't look at ourselves as hippies but we're also sometimes very knocking very bare because what did we learn and how did we learn so we're also naked in a way okay and and and and and yet you have to say to yourself martin titus here shoes is here hashem is giving us the tater right we're getting the traitor we can't change that we cannot change that the question is whether we are going to be macabre the torah mata hashem gives us the theater then there is cabola satoru cavolo avi do you mind clicking your uh your mute thank you cabola that's up to every individual and that is the avoider are we a kali did we make ourselves more of a kaley and the freedom the author and we've been learning his siddhis for so long wished everyone he had a particular bracha that he gave everyone for sure and there ever continued which was [Music] may you receive the torah he didn't say me mata torah i wish you if i'm giving you a bracha i'm get i'm i'm i'm i'm hoping and i'm giving you something that will help you help us [Music] receive the torah and then he tells us how we should receive its meaning if you do these two things you will receive the torah properly you can't be makable the torah it was morbidity with anger with frustration with feeling where is god unlike omar when 45 people never passed away where is hashem now with all these missiles flying and my daughter broke her um a bone of hers because she had to run from the fourth floor where she lives down to the uh mccloth and she was rushing to get the kids down in the 90 seconds and she twisted it and now she has a cast right so like you know okay mr trump should be all right but you know you you ask these questions and you're allowed to ask yourself the questions but that cannot remove the simcha because if you lose the simcha i tell you again what my great uncle said or mendel if you don't have your money you're still a man if you don't have your health you're a half a man if you don't have your drive you're no man at all simcha is drive you have to have because if you don't have simcha you're an angry old man or a young man you're angry and no one wants to be next to you not your wife not your kids goodbye so that's it guys we got to just once and for all the rest of our life only only only work with simcha and it's hard yes what would you say um what would you say is the relationship is of simcha and razon in the sense that we were learning about razza in the last couple of days i would say ratzon fits more to the paneemius to the next word paneemius yeah what i'm saying is if something is peneus it's internalized that that touches your russian and your and your pleasure and that's why the rebbe adds avi the word of bipneemius with inwardness only use externally superficially we could walk you know walk around fake it till um fake it till what's the expression fake it till you break it or you know it's like you make it yeah fake it till you make it okay but anemia is you want to go beyond faking it you want it to cricket and the boehner is a yiddish expression crawl in into the bones your bones become torah your bones become and this is an avoider so hashem the previous level wished us he gave us a brother he gives us a brother be metabol then you'll be able to appreciate torah and people will appreciate that you are such a person so they will also appreciate their and that's the answer sometimes we say well my parents my friends they don't appreciate what i'm doing and this is true for bali truth and then people are from all their life you know the answer is believe me if you become bipanemias and you do it with simcha it will be contagious and people will gravitate to it and and you see it every day you know yeah i i have been you know in in in non-laboratory schools and i just do my thing you know and and and i see how without even saying anything you know people are respectful you know what i'm saying if you conduct your life in in a fine leadership way you don't have to you don't have to do much talking and and and and and people want to hear and people you know what i'm saying so this is part of that bracha the symphony so i i wish each other the same bracha that the rabbit gives the kabul and that's why it's a it's there's no way there's nothing kind of to do you know what we have to do you know just hit i said it's a diplomacy the answer is that's the hardest thing to do because pesach and and the um and the other and the yummy is going to get me in the torah holding the turret dancing is going to get me in the crying that neil is going to get me in pesach it's the bite of matzah and murrah right what's who is oh she can't rely on those objects you gotta it gotta come from within you hashem help us recite that to the ghoulish lama everyone should have a good jump of a healthy jump div only you and and everyone should be safe and those are needed for suleiman should have but immediately shidduchim should have one immediately good shidduchim and and we should see each other into some wednesday morning all right good job take care bye bye thank you thank you