Klolei HaChinuch Education Principles Rebbe Raayatz #15

so uh we're learning the countries the essay of education and we're on page 67 uh kisser the kitchen before we go to chapter 13. what he taught us yesterday is that man is separate is distinct from all heavenly creatures and lower creatures um and his place of residence be it a small city or a large city mashpiya impacts alcohol on him on all aspects of his life that was the third precondition for the educator to take into consideration and now he goes on to the fourth your gimbal tonight review the educator must know that he must know and understand what's desirable and repugnant and their limits let's see how he developed this idea there are three fundamental and primary foundations in education in the relationship from the educated and the guided to the educator and the guide aleph the educated the student needs to have come to a place and be brought to a place where he understands the the great um the exalted stature of the teacher of the educator of the masjpiya if the student jaini thinks his vashbia is a a pinch hitter meaning to say not the real thing a fill-in we have a problem i recall when i was in yeshiva i think in particular eighth grade and our rebbe was never sitting shiva so they had a a person we had a person who was a substitute and for whatever reason we didn't really respect him like we respected our teacher it was totally wrong because he was older than our teacher and many other things but for some reason there was um you know foolish uh foolish uh foolishness that we as boys were were one second yetis we as boys were heard and we and we and we carried it over to to him so automatically we didn't really learn well from him yes yes what did you want to say yeah when i would when i was teaching in the public school for for for a couple of months then i was a substitute it was terrible they would kill me a substitute has the hardest job but right but but here well i'm using that as an example for even if you're not a substitute if the student doesn't value and i then we have a the teacher it's a big problem i always say this and and you know people are quick to criticize a teacher a a must be a guide a rabbi right because after all he's supposed to know everything and do everything one of the fundamental issues why that criticism exists is because the the the congregant the student the employee whatever the situation is doesn't resp hasn't gained the knowledge of respect for the guidance p and teacher and it if they're worthy of that of course they're not worthy of that then they're right and not respecting them on that level but here we're not talking about that we're talking about a teacher a a a maspea a moderate who is worthy but somehow he failed to develop the student in a way that the student should come to that recognition and that's an art it's an art you know you have some teachers who come into a classroom and they're you know buddy buddy with the students it's a big mistake it's it's a big problem you have some students some teachers who are totally removed in their own world it's also a big problem the balance between you know kirov on one hand and rehook closeness and distance is is so important for the success in creating the right student in the sense of respect so that's the first point let's go to point number two i'm sorry say that again what you're saying is the boundaries boundaries between the rebbe and the students yes to make boundaries yes right right right that was that's what i was saying but what the rep is saying is that there needs to be room erkoi the the student must feel the exaltedness of his teacher number two the students trust me in english he just says it a pupils trust in his educator and counselor so first we speak about respect exaltedness and here we speak about immune trust if you don't trust them and you feel they're misleading you or they have their own agenda it's a very bad big problem and number three this the pupils complete obedience compliance so we have exalted trust and compliance complete compliance and they go hand in hand in other words you're not going to have complete compliance if you feel you're you're you're you're your mechanic your educator is is is not at the level that he should be at so there's a breakdown and these three things are remember that ebb is is is saying this and writing this for those much p.m those two and labavich and he's telling this to us to to the teachers and guides if you want to accomplish that your student should have respect for you and honor for you and and and and which will ultimately give him a feeling of respect and everything else it'll be healthy you need to be that way and to create that in the student clear these three fundamental fundamental aspects of education next page 69 um close examination so so the question is how do we create it okay so let's see what he says now so the rep is now saying before we were talking about what the student needs to have towards the teacher now that ev is saying how do we create that so he says you teacher need to do the following three things alef the close examination by knowing his habits maksave situation mikhail meguroy his place of residence and his environment in other words all the all the things that we mentioned until now you educator need to think about and prepare yourself for and assess properly the student and then you'll be able to succeed in getting the student to reciprocate and have respect for you pays to say above there needs to be love association of love between the educator and the educated in other words if you if you display this but you do it with app coldness or as they say a uh face fachmur means um like a sad face it's hard for the student to feel closest to you my father always spoke about too much being great that he knew redness who was in both came from russia and both obama see the snapfish and both were born and you know were well actually one was in the babbage one was not you know later anyway both great men great hasidim my father said that him the way he brought him into lebanese and turned him into a a fine student was with kirov of love he would put his hand around him and he would call him by his first name but not the regular first down uh uh you know an adjective i don't say an adjective you know like instead of yaakov he would say yankale that yankale i don't know what idiom you know in england that yankale makes all the difference in the world you could say and then you could say spiel the difference between the two is night and day because the yakov spiel is yakushi fine is a good person everything's fine there's nothing nothing uh special about the the relationship through that way of addressing a person we say yankale it makes all the difference so him would call him by his name but not his regular name with that yankale like you know and the other spear was more distant you know didn't smile much was more rigid and a great great person and you know but but both created tremendous you know great tell me them and both had their styles what here the rebb is saying it's interesting how will the the teachers and mashpeem who are more of the cold uh type how will they relate to the so i want to say just to to to answer those people not let let leave them behind they also had ava but their other was more in a revered way you know and it it came out for example this mashpia his nephew just passed on at age 98 99 i interviewed him several years ago and he told me that once there was an issue with with accepting a relative of theirs in the yeshiva because he didn't have a good report as far as behavior and his conduct and all that and the the the listen told the nephew he said to him they they they they they don't understand that this is our blood you know and here you're talking about someone who was very disciplined so what i what i picked up from this story is that as much as he was gevorah and discipline he had within himself a very great feeling of ava of love and mercy it's just that the way he expressed it outwardly was in a disciplined way so i would say that's direct the reconciliation between someone who has no compassion and no mercy and no love versus someone who does but it's it's buried inside and and it's channeled and very much um guided in a certain way and then there's the other extreme which he talks about here how about the the the warm relationship to the educated to the student and i say that also because he only just said before i said it he said if you get to chatty chatty and buddy buddy with the student you lost it so doesn't mean you should you turn yourself in like you're one of the guys okay i i believe when rabbi grossman went into those discos to schlep out the heaven from the you know uh for the discos in shiva and yerushalayim and other places where he went he came in there with his beard and pears and his and his long frock and his hat up that just looking at him you're shivered so here he is on one hand he he appears to be this you know uh distant individual and at the same time he's talking with you and engaging you so it's a combination okay but anyway let's go on to the third point the educator has to have deliberate reflection from time to time he must have he must think about the student's moral maturity in other words he needs to reassess from time to time where is my student at but he's talking now about not his level of learning i'm talking about musa his ethical and moral behavior so basically this is a value i could tell you that the years when the administration of the babaji yeshiva went into the river you know this was a great part of of of discussion and i and and conversation was you know the the god the the ethical and moral stance of the student yes everyone you know they wanted everyone to learn and get good marks and excel and get smith and this and that but more importantly is this idea of musari the you know the mussari the word musa the ethics the morals and to and the teacher has to look at the word misuna you can't you can't get this accomplished if you're in a rush and if you're not taking time to evaluate every individual student so he says that's the third required point that the educator must have to succeed was creating a student that feels the teacher is exalted trusts the teacher and follows the teacher you know in our world we call this what's the best way is being a living example when your child when your son your daughter your friend sees the way you act in such a way and it's really a refined way it makes a big impact you know i still contend that that's not enough because especially today where we're sometimes very thick-headed and chutzpah is rampant i mean although the gemara insider says already at that time there was hutzbayasge right there was much today you have people who are really exalted and refined and others laugh at them and ridicule them and poo poo them right so there are times when a person has to make themselves clear the rabbit by the way explained once why the rambam in his introduction to yada kazoka basically says the come commercial from moses formation of the new until maisha been my mother like come commercial no one rose that's great right now that seems to be the epitome of arrogance i remember the rebel said that the reason that rambam wrote that and said that was he had to because he lived at a time when people were scoffing at moshe rabbenu and at the rambam and you know it's like saying hey what are you since when are you an opinion saying you're you're a physician to the sultan you know you're a doctor you're this and you're that you're also a rapper you're also a scholar and come on so that had to be emphatic in making clear what his book is about not about himself about what the safer is about so that people will take a look at the safer and if they take a look at the safer they study the book they'll see who the author is what type of person he is let's continue [Music] what's considered beautiful is not absolutely the same for all men all people all humans volcanes therefore the educator must judge very carefully basically with his mind i'll call down every specific thing before he tells the the student do this or don't do that because it'll either make you refined of course he needs to assess that what is it that he's going to instruct or what is it or what is that right and is it fitting and will it make this particular student better through it or worse through it because again here let's say let's say um you you know you talk about um generosity and and the mechanic the educator you know gives a lecture and talks to about what if one student feels bad he doesn't have the means to be generous he feels very very bad so is generosity a a good meter absolutely but you have to be so careful because if if one of those students if you do it as a group and one of those students you know it doesn't have the means it feels very bad i'm not saying that he shouldn't give a shear on it a sheer lecture is one thing but when it comes to saying you know go and do this and this and if you don't do this you're not fulfilling what the titus says and you're being uh cops and you're being stingy and and you're not being kind to me it's what's midfield seduct and things like that you have to be very careful so in other words here you have what's called a middle no you have a good a good attribute a good behavior but nevertheless in this particular case it has to be um it has to be catered to the for that particular student that's what he says over here okay and the same also you know there are there are certain not nice character traits and guess what sometimes for a certain student and personality based on where he or she comes from it's very very good okay it's very good for example the idea of you know of of not talking much and being more reflective right so for one student this is gevaldic and for another it's a disaster come out of your shell you've been too long in your shell you need to go out you need to meet people you need to smile more and another person smiling the whole time talking the whole time and is wasting their life that person needs to reduce their talking and and and drain around so you see how even depends on the situation depends on the person after the teacher he says after the teacher assesses the particular issue be it proper or ugly he and he's and he's assessed it according to the needs of the particular student he says it to him words of the wise are heard with calmness david said no he says this is something very good for you to do and this is repugnant and no good with and stay far away so the manner of delivery the tone of voice the body movement everything makes a difference in the way it's received by the student you could say the same thing two people could say the same thing and one has one result on the recipient on the listener and the other one has another result one a good one one a bad one why because one met the criteria mentioned here and one didn't meet the criteria mentioned here ko masha makhaneva the more the educator knows and understands well what is considered proper and beautiful what's considered republican and ugly and the more he he he puts effort and diligence into fulfilling the three aforementioned conditions more and more will his words be received and his instructions by the student the student will follow more of what he shares with him the later and not only will he listen and follow because he has what we call mashmas mashmas is another word for kabbalah acceptance obedience not only because of that elohim but also because the student sees in his teacher that he sheikho khodova vadova bamishba that he weighs carefully everything in uni with a deep intellectual processing and a thoughtfulness of a natsume i know from the time when i was in bethemish and i had conversations with moisha and they involved some community matters i remember and i remember he usually would say let me think about it and i didn't feel he was putting me off he was doing what it says right here in the countries [Music] you want to think you want to really think about it quietly and thoughtfully and see the pros and cons and then come back to the table and voice them share them discuss them at the end at the end you will have to give you will have to give an answer because if the person being a student or friend or congregant asks you something and you beat around the bush they know you beat around the bush at the end of the day and and and they lose respect but if they see that you weighed it and and you came to a determination whether it's to the person's liking or not they still respect you because they see you thought about it and your your line of reasoning whatever says the same thing here that the student will follow what the t teacher says what the guide says what the masjid says when the student realizes the mechanic was look at these words very important he weighs each and everything with an intellectual processing okay i know that at times i have a difficulty with this and that's why i've learned to fulfill the victim sleep over it we tend yoni we tend to to rush to a decision or a feeling because we might be that way ourselves and even if we aren't that way we feel that we have to give an answer right now the truth is that mishpati uni is the best way you know one of the rabbi model of shalom was one of the chabad rabbanim in crown heights so the viktor mukhem he was a rebbe of mine too when you were asked and he knew they say he knew and i prop it's probably true he knew like word for word or almost of the alte it was a big talmud when you would ask him ashila he would he would he wouldn't answer right away he would say let me look it up now it's under it's understood that if it's heir of shabbos and you don't know the chunk this is is kosher or not or is it cooked or not and what's the halachus and you know the rav needs to give you an answer right away that there's no time it's coming shabbos and that's it but we're not talking about that we're talking about when there is time there should be the the uh the mishpat uni and when the student sees that the teacher weighed the pros and cons of the issue about him or her that itself gives him just my teacher took the time to think about me that creates a bond of love right there and this you see so what the rep is doing in this country is fascinating he's putting the onus on the guide the masjpiya the teacher the parent and the employer he's saying pretty much that if there are issues with the student the child the employee it's not their issue it's the educators issue the parents issue i'm making a general statement because here it is the teacher says listen this is not a good behavior this is a good behavior right now if it's and if that's true younger sin what do you need to have thank you shikuyuni what do you need to have thoughtfulness and intellectual processing why it's good or bad no good or bad don't do it then you know especially today no one is interested in listening to good or bad what they're interested in listening is to discussion dialogue and the more they see that we the parents and teachers and guides have given a thought they respect that and you can get much better results and long lasting results that's what we need we have a new phenomenon and you know i want to finish this and we'll not get into it a phenomenon where people and we spoke about this over and over the last three four years of our learning together dropouts but not dropouts youth people who are married 20 30 years dropping out wha what is happening over here and i'm not talking about just dropping out of yiddish guy than from kite dropping out of society a a depression a a a a um um a stack stagnation where it's like yeah what i've been doing this so long what and the answer one of the one of the issues stale motion and i discussed it you know this idea of being stale that you need to constantly reassess when you constantly reassess not whether you should put film on or not no but the meaning of twilight and the purpose of thrilling and the how of thrilling and the why of till in and the beauty of filling then you're you're you're cast you're you're in a you're in a process you're you're in the middle of something when the when does one become stagnant and all that when they feel they've done it they've completed and now what next but if you realize you didn't begin or if or you're in the middle then you're you have a job is saying here this this idea is so important for the relate for the development of the student to come to a point where he respects the teacher and the parent and all that and that this is an answer there's an answer to one of our issues today in the larger community if we did this regularly i'm telling you you'll see a great change you'll see a great change because the boy or girl or the or the employee whatever they see oh my student my teacher's thinking about me and really thinking about me wow i love him i love her you know i really wow that's special that's what people are missing they're missing the feeling that the superiors don't care about them and that's what they need to see and and the question is do we really care about them do we really care about them or not we can say we care about them but not thinking about them means you don't care about them thinking about that means you care about them let me just conclude um and even if the the the student doesn't know the reason why my teacher is spending so much time thinking about me it's pretty you know clear this is nice and this is ugly miss khasic nevertheless it causes the faith of the mechanic of the student to the st to the teacher the ikaya messiah gomur and he'll carry out instructions punctually exactly it's interesting he says and although the student may not understand the reasoning in other words many times the student says i don't understand why this is important to to do [Music] but the fact that the student sees you're thinking about them overrides i don't understand and he will do it you see listen think about that and it's so true so i i think we could summarize and conclude that the rebbe's uh main point in this uh chapter is the yaha yacht the the overall relationship between the teacher to the student with love what what do i mean with love with care the student has to sense care and concern and when he will and in order to do that that ever says you have to evaluate properly any uh points if they think you want to say hebrew ideal why is it too ideal why because because the expectation is very high the lemon is expecting us to be should be i need to why you know wait wait why why do you why do you say that let me hear why why because because you know i mean he's expecting us to do too many things for me not a teacher now i'm not my kid i don't have children in the house but i got people that are meeting every day and i see the way they are and i see what they do and i'm with them every day so i'm trying to have an effect on them you can or cannot you can or cannot [Music] can i'm playing okay okay good all right [Music] that's right that's right that's right and he's telling you think about the people that you meet and what do they need what you you know and how am i going to yeah exactly so it's not this is not being an angel this is giving us great um hashpot this is a real mashbia what we learned now that that's you you always talk about you have a much fiama we just learned what amazipia needs to do so you're you're acting as a masbia main you know to you you want to like have an impact on them he's giving you tools for success not to be an angel he the the rep is not telling you you're innocent that if you don't do this you're not you're not a good person he's not telling you that he's telling you if you want to be a mashpia and you want to and you want to have success these are guidelines that's it [Music] you know what i'm saying so so yeah i i understand i understand where you're coming from and what you're saying it it it's like one and two and three and and detail you know but you have to sit back and and really think about the print some of the ideas and and and they're so uh homey they're so they're so the just a matter of of of taking the time like i told you with with moisture it wasn't you know this wasn't this is before he learned to contrast you know what he said let me think about it let me let me you know mull it over you know um and okay he's in a position of you know being in a community a communal person and as far as all that so it's absolutely necessary but but it's true for a parent that you're you say you don't have kids you have grandkids you know and you talk to them on the phone on the skype you know it's never ending this this is this is a this is a uh ideas that are relevant to us as people and as yet listen yes i just want to make a one slight comment and that is that brother i think what what you said here at the end today is so critical the the relationship but especially that people know that someone is thinking about them someone who's like a chronograph superior you know right now um i don't know if the rest of ever is so aware of this but for some reason in our community here and i don't think it's not limited to our community but unfortunately there seems to be a phenomenon which is very disturbing of young married couples who are getting divorced yeah i don't know i don't know if it's like that in new york and different communities but here in ramaphichemish for some reason and not just for my pajamas this is a this is an issue that is becoming within the last five years is becoming this is a so so my wife has been asking me like why is this why is this why is this and one of the things that seems to come about is that all the situations are very different but but seems like the one common denominator is that the couples did not necessarily have someone to speak with to speak to about things they didn't have someone maybe who was i don't know either looking out for them or they felt was like a quote unquote superior right however however we would define that so i'm just i'm just i'm just bringing that up because i think that this is such a this point this this point is such a critical right i i i hear you loud and clear and you're a hundred percent right um they basically didn't have a spear call it call it a counselor call it whatever you know and um yeah i'd love to talk more but i have another share now so i have to end anyway listen everyone have a great shabbos yes what which one no we're so we're we're meeting this year's monday monday monday monday monday through thursday cyclist everyone have a great job it's only good things so this time bye bye