Hechaltzu chptr 9- How to avoid hating a person who does things against G-d? Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

So good today we're learning from the we're on chapter nine pic just to recap briefly what we learned in p yesterday's shir on page 68 in the lessons in safer so the kitser I'm reading the kitser now the synopsis of the of the chapter heish the tick betu We explain the difference between the emanations what we call the spheres of tikken the world of correction. Tikun means to correct and to is the world of chaos. Excuse me. Chaos and uh I spent quite a bit of time explaining those things yesterday so I'm not going to repeat it. Which is also the rabbis said vesious tick has as its modus operande ble humility subservience to Hashem. And toou even though it's a creation of God and a world of God nevertheless it's modus opberande is yesesha's ego orientation as we explained yesterday and the rebba also said yesterday that this is also comparable to shuv verui shu means retreat bring it home have it be settled And the rats is the yearning, the longing at times very passionate but outrageous. It's interesting if you look into the last chapter which I hope you all will do when you review this you'll see that first the Reb explained to and only afterwards tick. And here I point out again that the kitsurium the synopsis written by the raim aren't just a summary of the chapter as a regular author would do but the kitsurin themselves need to be studied and understood well and and here we see an example of that in the chapter 8 he first explained the whole idea of tou and then he into tick in the kiter. What does he do? He reverses. He says the difference between the spherus of tick and toy. He should have said the difference between first toyu and then tick yes and then because that's the chronology of the chapter. He doesn't do that. So you have to ask yourself why. And the explanation is just as a layman's explanation, the purpose in life and the ultimate purpose of God's plan is tick. So when it comes to the kitser when he's giving you the bottom line the synopsis what you the walk away he goes right to the most important thing tick sh and only afterwards kind of walk backwards and and understand how it's greater and different and what's the purpose over chaos yes and roti that's Again, I haven't I didn't see this written anyway. It's just a thought that came to my mind. But clearly that the reversal is very clear. If you learn the chapter, you look at the kits, it's it's it's blatant. Okay. We also learned he says yes, ego Yeshus is the cause for separation, divisiveness, and baseless hatred. Okay, let's go now to ice test page 69. This is also the reason why there sprouts forth hatred between one and another without any logic and and reason but for only one purpose for which is I cannot tolerate him and he only sees him with a bad eye. He says in Yiddish. No, no, I'm sorry. To the point where the other person is disgusting in his eyes. All even the good that the other person does to this person that hates him, it's all disgusting. He annoles and humiliates and embarrasses the entire of his of the other person and the fulfillment of the other personal. He says your mitzvah are nothing. You're tired of nothing. And and he just keeps on poo pooing him to the point that he despises him. And although the other person didn't do any bad to him at all. Not only that, this fellow that has this attitude towards him doesn't intend on doing anything in actuality to hurt him. surely it's only that in his heart his heart is not complete with him meaning and even more he's not complete he hates him and it's all beladas without logic and reason so this is a repetition kind of what we learned before but he's summing it up in in these words next page it says says, "Your brothers hate you. It's your brothers who hate you." And he says the there is the literal meaning of is brother, but also there's we'll see soon. could be read as which means to join even when there's no there's nothing to separate the two. [Music] You see, therefore, they're called they're called brothers because they're bonded and joined and connected. When we call the verse says, they hate you, specifically they without logic and reasoning because he cannot tolerate him. Therefore, he is not happy with the person's content and peacefulness and goodness. When he hears that the other person is having, you know, things are going fine and all of that, it eats at him. He can't take it. And he says and on the and and and in the contrary his heart will have happiness. inside his heart. He's saying, "Ah, ah, that's good that he's suffering." And even if he's not happy about it, he's not troubled by it. Because in truth, one should be in pain should be troubled when he hears about another person's suffering. One second. One second. More than his own pain. Yes. Yes, sir. >> Um, okay. So, I'm struggling with this. very good for you know somebody who maybe you don't know or you have no but when you see people who mash are doing things which are hurtful they're your brothers but you know like in your mind they are wicked people this a very high I you know and you're supposed to let's let's make it practical, right? Um there are people who we have a war going on now and they appear to be by their actions and their words, even though they're hidden, they appear to be supporting Kamas. And I'm I'm supposed to if if that person has some kind of downfall or suffering, I'm not supposed to think, h that's a good thing. Um and I'm supposed to feel compassion for them. That's >> and right >> having a hard time wrapping my head around that. >> Okay. You need to separate the person from what he's doing. That's that's the ass for you to either succeed or not succeed. And usually we don't we it goes back to but the way explains it which is who is the ye the shama are you going to say then the shama is evil then the shama is ra that's an oxymoron if hashem gives the shama to a person then the shama is pure none of us Even if he goes even if he goes to the Holocaust denial >> Yes. >> uh conference in Iran. >> Yes. >> With his pious. >> Yes. With his pious. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm you know you're a smart guy. You're a philosopher. It's an oxymoron. If if if God gives if Hashem gives an where does it say that a person who goes to Iran and talks against us doesn't have a if you find me such a mucker we could talk it there's no such a mucker you could say >> what >> you could say >> that's a different thing that's all because of the miser the behavior the behavior is despicable and it was a president and all that there would be punishment and he doing Alice that's all true but that's all mad behavior what the what the is talking here about is he's talking about separate the two so and and if you learn Tanya and more Tanya and you understand it wants us to have mercy rahmon is on that person that's going to Ian with his pas He's fallen so far and he's so far mished and he's so involved in that I I have mercy on his soul, a real mercy. That's what he's talking about here. So and and another thing is sir there is a and you've heard it over and over when when the downfall of your enemy don't be happy that's talking about a go an enemy no what do you say with that needless to say when it's your own brother and sister when when they are because they do terrible things out this so if you need a kazal to support what the Rashab is saying here I would use that support this doesn't make it easier I I I what do I mean to say I understand your struggle believe me I I have the same struggles okay but when you sit back and at And you see people who are able and there are such people who are able to to let go and not carry hatred towards people who mameish are doing like you say things against Hashem. A, they're happier people, and B, they accomplish more cuz at the end of the day, and I've seen this, and I I assume you've seen it, but I've seen it. When you're able to back off and you're able not to have that hatred, and it takes a long time, takes a lot of work, they ultimately sense it. I'm not saying it's always this way. There's no guarantee but a lot of the times or many of the times or some of the times whatever they they they realize they realize and they start whether they approach you for assistance or others they soften up. I just had it Thursday night, you know, at a faban. It's all, you know, guys, not there to listen was the faban was pretty much, you know, sermons, you know, I'm very against being a sermon. I mean, against it's it's not a fabbran. It's a Russia. It's a she a fangan is a whole different world. So this is one of my pet peeves of you know over the years. So they brought a rabbi who's a big and aid guy 75 year old man not a not a child from an hour an hour and a half away. He's a classmate of our local Mashpia who's a wonderful person and one of the top in Kabad and uh our Mashia for whatever reason I'm not going to go into it now was kept on talking and talking and talking and he was you know sometimes he's not animated he was more animated cuz his best one of his best friends classmate childhood teenhood you know the guys were excuse the expression in the bar together you know what I mean you together. It's like two buddies, two buddies from college, right, that really like each liked each other and had a relationship and here they were 50 years later sitting with their white beards at a fabangan in a borrow park. You know, it's just astound it's a whole and I saw that this is uh you here's a man who came an hour and a half and our is not he's not not that he's not letting him talk, he's just talking the whole time. He told the whole time he doesn't get a chance and he's not rude. So I I you know after they finished the dig I told over a story you know the story was a very very sharp story. I don't want to I don't want to repeat it now but it's it was a story that you would say you know 3 4 in the morning after a lot of you know what I'm saying. It was it was a very heavy type of story like that you you wouldn't normally say it. And I told them that a litfisher Rajashiva's son who I know in Lakewood was reading my book about Rabo Khan, one of my books and he called me about this story cuz I put the story into to the book. Why I did it is another reason I don't want to go into it but but it's there. And he said to me that, you know, he said, you know, he said he has respect, you know, he he has respect and he, you know, and I respect him, he respects. He says, I'm surprised, Rabbi Dolphin, this this story is like like what what are you trying to say? The story of bikitzer is that aid a big came to abran in ke from Moscow or wherever he was and they were diving my rif and the rv was a litfisher rv and he was making you know movements during diving with his hands and his eye you know what we call kabadik okay and he meant it and all of a sudden in middleman boom a a hairy ends up in his face. He continues dinging and he finishes diving. He go there goes over to the prisoner. Uh do you know who who threw this herring into my face? How did a herring get into my face? They said, "You see the guest speaker who came from Moscow to Fabra? It was your Teskis. He threw it at you." So the RV goes over to the guest speaker and he says, "I I want to apologize." You know, I want to apologize if I upset you somehow. And you threw this at me. So, and the speaker said to him, "You, boy, did you upset me. It's your task tonight. You're you're domining with such a show, you know, like and you have to do right in front of my face. like you want to dive in that way, go to a corner, hide yourself and and and play around over there and the rub apologized to it. There's many that that's the story. So I shared that story and the place was like, oh boy. And I said it not to, you know, to to to hurt anyone, but to get our to maybe be quiet because I said, I'd like to I said, I know what the Mashia thinks about the story cuz I have a relationship with him. I'd like to hear what the guest has to and from then on the faban switched over and the guest spoke. So why am I saying this to you guys here? Because it's the same story >> like when the police throw the spikes in the middle of the road to keep the car that's speeding away. >> Yeah. Exactly. So what I'm saying is just to end to follow up as a as addressing your question your point. There's a way there's a way of dealing with the the worst of the worst. And sometimes it takes a little, you know, different approach and you could and you could open up and you could find solace and and and really someone just came over to me now who was at the Fabrangan. Now it's Tuesday. The faban was Thursday night. He says, "I thank you for what you said. It changed the whole mood of the fabangan and it it became a real fabangan. old sermons cuz then someone else said something, someone else got ticked off and that's what a faban is. That's it. That's all I can tell you. So, so if we need I would say would be a source practically um a Jew's pain is very painful. And I want to say one more thing Isa just because it's important what you the the point you made and the our dialogue on this. Every time you have such a feeling, ask yourself, what about me? What about me? Do I want Hashem to have mercy on me when I do something really bad, really no good? And as a as a Jew and as in particular, I think we can find quite a bit that we do that's not good. That's ugly. And and we don't want Hashem to bring it up, especially now with the coming. So what do we want? We want that's the whole idea of have mercy. It's the whole now. No. Why? So you'll say, "Well, he's not going to Iran with his pis and and and speaking propllo." No. And when and and when you and when you do when I do something that is wrong and it's worse. I know better. He's he doesn't know better with his pious and everything. He's you know what does he know? He know that's all he knows. I know better. I learned I have a etc. And I'm this way. So it's I'm a lot more accountable. That's it. And and then one more point. If you can't reach this plateau and I'm and it's difficult and I understand you need to first create a buffer zone. The buffer zone is don't have anything to do initially with these this person or these people. You're not ready yet to engage and in a healthy way because it will cause sa and the and for now stay away. Stay away. Get them out of your mind and heart and accept that everything's from and I just remind myself now brings it in shimmy curses melik should eat this man up should chew him out should get him killed and shimmy says mashem the curse is coming from God through shimmy no who is greater from so again this is all words when it comes practice when it comes to p it's it's a difficult so I acknowledge that but the alternative is worse and I and I've seen it and I in my own life you know because he gets very upset hot under the collar outrageous and and and you want to do things or you do things that are hurtful, then you regret it. So, it's better to sit back and to just let it pass. Let's continue. Okay, he says back to the text. So he says top the first line on page 71. A person on about himself can find reasons why he has troubles and torture and and suffering because there's no good deeds. If a person sees punishment, torture, pain come upon him, suffering, you have to check yourself out. What did I do wrong? And when you truly will check yourself out, you'll find reason why these things are coming. Or if you don't find any bad you did then because you didn't learn every moment you started and when and and therefore you won't have you won't have um anguish about it the suffering that God gives you. He'll say I accept the as we know that's a for the soul that needs as explained he says but regarding the other person you're not you shouldn't make such accounts because you have to definitely think this other fellow is good in every detail say don't be his judge is better than me. You have to judge everyone favorably. Therefore, you have to have pain and be troubled by your friends. You see? Yes, sir. Ask Hashem to have mercy on him. Now, in the parenthesis, This is what is said. And if you know in truth, this guy's low was not good. Speak to himself. Hey fellow, what you're doing is outrageous and give him between you and him privately. You hope that he'll return to Hashem. and and will have mercy on him and Hashem will retract his anger from him when you don't have any pain and troubled by the other person's downfall. And surely when you're happy about it, it's because the foundation is you hate him. you hate him without any reason. So this is the question you know when I always go back to what Y said five six years ago seven years ago with George Soros I don't forget that conversation and now you mentioned this you know the fellows in the Iran and all that that EB is positioning here that you've grabbed on attached to one person or or group of people. The truth is that's only an excuse. You have a hatred either to him pre what he did or pre the group. Now I know you're going to argue. What do you mean I have nothing to do with them? No. Certain people rub you certain people rub you the wrong way. That's the bottom line. Certain people rub us the wrong way. It it it it how many times you come into a room, you never met the person, and someone looks at you like so strange. What did I do to you? I just don't like you. It's It's such a bad mea. It's such an ugly mida. Why don't you like me? What? What? Like, I just don't like you. You just stay away. Stay away. That's what he's talking about here. So it's a um it's a heavy heavy ingenion and it needs like you say a lot of work but that's the we will learn tomorrow the next chapter everyone have a great day. >> Thank you. Thank you. >> You're welcome. Bye bye.