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Hechaltzu chptr 25- Marriage is greater than chemistry, love & reason, story w Rashbatz- RC Dalfin

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Rav Chaim Dalfin - Chabad History & Current Events avatar
Rav Chaim Dalfin - Chabad History & Current Events

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Today we're learning chapter 25 in but I want to just go over the kitser from the chapter 24 the taught us in chapter 24 that creativity and amplification and development understanding well that have a different source in the nephesh. They come from two different places and therefore since they come from two different places they can exist one without the other because in truth they do exist not just they can they do exist in the ne as a separate entity from the other. Nevertheless, he says each one has a separate source and he brings the 13 attributes masle the masle of noter and masle of we No isma associated with is associated with he explained it in the chapter before I don't want to go into it now but the point he shows is that clearly bothina have a different source in the nevertheless not nevertheless but they have a source but they're opposite each other's creativity and is development and we discussed that too how someone who's strong and can create can't develop and someone who developed can't create it's very unusual that you have both Nevertheless, here's the Nevertheless, they do find cooperation. And like I wrote on one of on the title of one of the um clips, the the a post to the shear, opposites can attract. People say, "I CAN'T GET MARRIED to my opposite." Yes, you can. You just know how to you just need to know how to navigate and are opposites. But if have humility and that that comes because there's something greater than that illuminates them, then they could live in peace. And the story briefly, I've told you this, but I have to say it again because it makes the point. known as big a lot written about him in kabad literature is dvening after his marriage and he's dvening with his talis over his head he's dvening for hours his wife comes in and pulls the TALIS OFF AND SAYS COME HOME already his good friend another great is also doing and notices that after and she nudes and schles him and bothers him. He says, and she leaves, he says to him, "Your marriage is a mech, a mistake." And is is not a marriage. Give her a divorce. If she doesn't appreciate you dinging, then you or her or both, you made a mistake in who you took. You took a woman, fine [clears throat] woman, but she doesn't like you dinging shabas till 1 2 3 in the afternoon. So he said to her, "You're right. I would give her a divorce, but what should I do that the Reb that officiated and his braha will be in vain?" He made a bra. He gave me and it's a very powerful story. Very powerful. There's something greater than logic. Logically, I I deserve to divorce you. It was a mistake. But there's a reba, there's a god, there's alik, there's divinity, IT'S GREATER IF HE SANCTIONS IT. Then the feeling of this others don't have this feeling because they get divorced obviously them who get divorced. But his feeling was there's something GREATER AND OBVIOUSLY FROM HEAVEN I NEED TO be married TO THIS WOMAN AND SHE SHOULD SLEPT MY TALIS ON SHABUS AFTERNOON AND I SHALL HAVE TO PUT UP with it. you know, our kids, grandkids are getting married. If this could be communicated in a in in a in a subtle way, you know, in in a because it's such an the whole idea of kaducin is a godly act. It's not just a physical act. Cuz if it's JUST A PHYSICAL ACT and a very nice one and a very right one, there could be issues. And yes, the says there's a time for a get and there's we know all that. So that's when the says that it's the right thing to do now and them agree. You know I had in my community in Marin County someone a very good friend the one of the balabatim and he wanted a divorce from his wife. He was became a baltoua with a beard lab and she was, you know, dragging sleing along and and and and they were always bickering and all that. I said to him, look, this is this is like a few years after I came. I'm 25 26 years old. He's already 35 going up 40 or maybe was 40. You know what I'm saying? like [laughter] I I can't take this responsibility and and general I know that theita and I'm representing the lab is to to work it out and stay put. So came back 3 months later and again 3 months and he said I can't I said look I I I'm not giving you the green light. You could write to the rebba you're a kabat just like I am. Reba is your Reba just like he's my Reba. Write him a letter and and and and you know you're you in other words you're seeking permission permission. asked the reb for guidance and the rebba wrote him back quoting the kazal shalias how great shal bias is and I'll bless I'll mentioned you at the oh that means the reba basically told him you stay put and don't get divorced and I'm telling you there was grounds for divorce his wife wasn't going to the mikvah okay and the and he told that to the rebba And the Reb says, "Nevertheless, Shaol buys is even greater." And guess what? He changed his attitude. He and they're married till today. Theo there's something greater that's beyond [clears throat] what I feel and what I see and what she sees and what she feels. So I'm using this over here because the kits are says here opposite of NEVERTHELESS they can be inclusive including one or the other. Now a creative mind doesn't see the value of a you know a beena mind and a beena mind doesn't have any understanding of what a creative mind is says says is wrong so it doesn't he doesn't explain it he did actually mention it briefly in last chapter but I'm amplifying it it's because the both and are two points in the nef but But the neph is greater than and we learned that also earlier in this mish is beyond the individual aspect of SO IF YOU TAP into nephesh and you live with soul soul is analogous to the in the first story with and soul is analogous to the second story the is saying that shalas is even greater than your bickering and you and she not going to the mikvah and wanting the divorce which again logically I'm telling you I I forgot to say that at that point after 6 months I was inclined to to tell him that he could divorce you know [laughter] she's not going to the mikvah it's not a MONTH TWO THREE SIX months man's a man he's a man what what do you want him to do go and do sins he's doing what he a real balui wants to live like aided And what you cut him off becomes who's greater who know who who sees the and that's what is that's the idea of there are things we don't see we don't understand we're totally not anyway next chapter he quoted earlier you weren't here but I hope you'll get a chance to relearn chapter 23 and 24 a quote from where it says there comprehend and then it says and be creative make up your mind say so so based on what we just learned This saying of is is is correct. Look inside please. This is the concept of the inclusion of who and this is that there is within creativity within an aspect a notion of the the power of FOR THE CREATIVITY TO EXPRESS ITSELF IN A comprehensive way. Although over overall speaking creativity means that there is no expansion. It lacks which means expansion. It's only it's nevertheless it already gives place for there later to be the development of of and this is what it means that it's only nevertheless next page it will come it can come to the expansion and comprehension as understood by that is now he explains what does that mean just the opposite this is the inclusion of who and this is although generally speaking what is many examples Many details is what is what does it mean for to impact to use an element of the says a beautiful thing here. It is to take an idea that's been developed and to extract it from its development AND FIND ITS KERNEL. IT'S ITS GERM. IT'S nikuda in in in kabadic words to make of yesesh iron. Again you see the car don't LOOK AT THE CAR AS A FULLY DEVELOPED metal car. see it as a heap of metal and A HEAP OF METAL COMING FROM THE FROM FROM THE MINERALS OF THE SOIL in the soil. In other words, we extract and break down the yesesh to the to iron. And who does that? Beina does it. So in that case is including within itself an aspect of and that's the meaning of of what for this means that the entire comprehension is is condensed within one point. This hatams next page these are important words have it's called hatamsis the means points means the summary hatamis it's the summation of bina in a in a in a in a flash point in a geometric point in one at that and in that place it excludes from the word it rejects it excludes all details and explanations grasps the essential concept here who this is what we mean the essential concept in one point after so much development and so many details and so many explanations you sum it up in one could if you think about it there are times when we we we we hit on it you study something you understand something and you have examples and details and explanations and Then somehow you come up with a word or you know like a summation that THAT EXPRESSES THAT IN ALL THOSE ALL THOSE explanations that's it that's what we mean here and as explained elsewhere this idea boy on the go to the next page. Actually, go to two pages and you see there's a D beneath the line there's a ute. Again, there's the top of the ud that's called a tag. Then there's the body of the ute and then there's the end of the ute where it curves to the left. That's called the kit. So, he's talking about the upper and the lower and the body. So what does he say? And this is this is the what we see in the U that there's two edges, two points and then there's and then there's the body of the youth. And he explains who the lower is is within. Look at the bottom of the ute. Look how it's curved and inclined towards the next letter which in this case we're talking about the ut which is k the first hey OF THE MASHEM WHICH IS BINA. So that's why HE SAYS THAT THAT the bottom of the y the bottom point it is the concept of OF it's and it's I'm SORRY IT'S IT'S STILL IT'S PART OF THE BUT IT'S the way the you the is expressed through And that's why it curves and is incline towards I'm not going to go into that. who next page the higher he calls it the kites but really Mosha tells me it's known as the suffer when they write they refer to the top uh point not as kites but as tag but here it calls it the top kit is what we call in kabala the level of within And that is the essential point in exchange for any letter whatsoever. In other words, before you GET TO THE BODY OF the yud, you have the kit the the top point that is in exchange for any letter canal the then comes the body of the ute. We call that the of the this is the expansion, right? Both points upper and lower are very thin and little and also thin. Where do you see some meat and flesh on the yud? It's in the in the in the middle. That's the yud. So in in in inidic words is it's we call that the right that's the broadness the width that's not that is like the bulk of the which is It's the the the essence of as it expresses itself at least in a form THAT'S LIMITED I.E. THE BODY of the youth repeats it the bottom That means it it represents the ability of taking the point and bringing it to a place of expansion with comprehension. A look the Reb in this paragraph that explained only till here um he explained he didn't explain that's what he does now in the parenthesis look inside in the scenario of the the diagram of the what would be the It's the it's the not within the letter with it's THE WITHIN THE LETTER HEY THE next it's left leg the he says possibly possibly says next page This is [snorts] after you have what's called length and width. In other words, after you develop an idea in full force, you got to take out the summation. Says the summation after the expansion in length and width is expressed in the hay. And that's the idea of the be that's the idea of what he calls that um we could also say here is obviously in his own in his world of it's not clear it looks like so he's coming up with two scenarios possibly possibly you could say when you write a you start with a yud knows this right then you continue drawing from the the roof kind of of the hay maybe says that when you start drawing from the from the hay downward. That essential drawing downward is an as you drag it down to make the leg of the hay. That he says would be the equivalent of what we call I don't know more. I don't know about this and it's it's I I I just don't know. So I just read the words and we'll have to leave it at that. What does it mean to comprehend within? This this implies this means the inclination of to be understood and comprehended is it is the inclination of to be incorporated in the summation. He we discussed in this chapter the two points and we explained also the bulk of the which is so this is this is the the end of this chapter and tomorrow it's a short chapter but we will learn that uh tomorrow everyone and have a great day. Shalom. Bye. >> Sure. >> Take care.