Hechaltzu chptr 13c- How to divert foreign thoughts during Davening - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

So we're on learning uh this we're middle of giml I have page 102 and you guys probably have what page 106 or 107 it's the middle of the paragraph where it says which is an acronym okay page 107 page [clears throat] 107 thank you So [clears throat and cough] the Rashab has been explaining to us the importance of humility in avoid hashem and we spoke at length yesterday about that agave last night I heard uh I saw a little clip from this kabadasha in New Haven Connecticut Rabbi Kmanson was his name. He during the yumptive period he had a sudden heart attack and he passed away 70 years old. He he was a massive Talim. He wrote 15 of which are used not just by you know but by rashi. [clears throat] I remember my remember my show he would learn Gomorrah and he used his and he has a twin brother in France and yeshiva and Bruna who also wrote but the the swarm that they write on the Gammorra is like a teachers a teacher's teacher [clears throat] anyway so one of his son one of his Rabbi who's our here in Bakim in Burough Park so he they asked him to speak so he said he he he read a letter section excerpt of a letter from the freed from the Reb. Oh, the the the the Reb met Rabbi Yehuda Heber Eber Eber Rabbi or he was known as Yudul Eber Yudber Yehuda Eber. He was a massive Talmud. He came from I think Russian stock but he he made it over to Poland and he was Russa in the Kabaga in in in Via and maybe even and so the the asked his son-in-law the Reb when before he became Reb to talk to him in learning he wants and and give him an opinion. I don't know if it if that was kind of the a test whether he's the right rashiva for the lab in Poland. I don't know that why but [clears throat] and the Reb did and then he wrote a letter back to his father-in-law the freed cited part of that and he was say he cited it in to to bring out what type of Jew this Rabbi KM was. So one of the things that the Reb says he says I um I spoke I didn't speak to him deeply in learning just briefly and you know means you know just generally speaking we didn't really get deep into it and then he says and then he says but what I could tell you is that as he's talking Tyra to It didn't feel as though his ego is coming through. And then the Reba writes and this is very difficult hard to find very few people that he came in contact with and the Reba met some great great people by the way and all that and he says that is a quality that says that I found in just my brief conversation with Rabbi Eber and and Rabbi Al said that that's what he felt with his mutin Rabbi Kison that although He was such a big but his humility came through and I say this in regard to what we're learning over here in the mimer that the nud of this chapter chapter 13 is to serve Hashem with reverence i.e with humility and to always realize that as great as you as as as great as you reach and as as as much as you know there needs to be the of humility and if and if the person doesn't have that then he's still lacking in his that's the let's continue now yes >> just want to say in regards to yesterday's discussion there was a point that came up about um uh like I I feel like there was a point that came up about like um like Levas and like Hespedim. I don't remember exactly what point of the discussion but I wanted to just share on the same I I maybe I'm wrong but I just want you know we were speaking about remember the was connected somehow to the there was and his wife he was looking for a frock and the whole thing. >> Yeah. I just want to say this past this past week, last week, Thursday. Um, so we went to a Lev was actually it started at Shamgar and it was for a old old from Ben and um >> for who? It was a for for it's actually from my um for my our mutin uh our daughter-in-law's mother her father his name is Mayor Orange >> okay >> okay older person he was nift so so the Levia started benra we weren't there and and where was from and it went to Shamgarim and from there to Harmanus so we get to Shamgar and we go in and they bring in the art. They bring in the mace. >> The the nifter. The nifter. >> Excuse me. The nifter. Excuse me. Thank you. The nifter. No more no more than 10 minutes. If it was 10 minutes, maybe it was 10 minutes right back out and in and onto our noesh. So, okay. So, it was going to be brief anyway. No, no, nothing. It was like it was the shortest shortest I've ever been to. Now I know the notes, but I just I'm I'm only sharing because like you know the the the the um the lack of discussion or the lack of talk about the nifer, you know, in in in such a I guess I guess the modesty was was it was you felt this issue. I guess I'm trying to say the sensitivity about modesty, >> right? I I hear you. Uh yeah, there there's there's [laughter] lot there's a lot what to say about um the levas with them with with with speeches. it whatever it's um and probably some others is not to make them. One of the reasons is you don't want to say a lie and then that's very very damaging to the person's um [clears throat] you know whatever but but but at the same but at the same time let us recognize that there's a of does make us pay him and you can't just uh you know disqualify you know but um yeah what were you saying hil Well, I'm just sort of wondering based upon that. I've been to Kabad funerals and non-comabad funerals and and I couldn't really tell you that I noticed that much difference in the words that were said or the manner that they were said. So, what exactly constitutes a hespid? Some you the people spoke at the at funerals that I went to. Um I >> I I don't know if you're referring I don't know if you're referring to America or that's number one. Number two. Number two, it's it's >> more in America. >> More in America. >> Some sometimes even at a kabat out a town if it's a or an important person, you know, there's there is a reason and they feel a justification for people's benefit. You know the barometer of of a kabad ask in in in worldwide I would say is what what is best for the uh the people. >> Uhhuh. >> You know but but but truth be truth be told that that is not that is not pure kabad in this detail. It's not. And just uh you know we're getting off topic we got to learn here but just one Rabbi Raichik who was the 1949 to Los Angeles to the west coast and he was mama of it was a right a survivor and everything else. So a very good friend of mine a doctor passed on at 49 years old. It was we we lived across each other in Los Angeles and they brought in his coffin into the base mediabad I'm wearing over there in LA in West Hollywood and um they didn't make a full-blown hespit but they said a few words. Rabbi Raichik was standing next to his son Rabbi Shima Raichik who became the RV and Osas passed on and he turned to his son he said by me there there should not be one word uttered well so you know it's it's you know but in other words what what do I see by a a strict kabad you know labavich funeral they say to him that's all they say someh >> they don't they don't say anything else except to hill and they make the announcement where will be where the is and that is that is uh you know straightforward puread but again I'm not going to go you know for andalabos and people will be you know people are coming who are not and you know they're standing there and then you know they're expecting a few words so you will find that to be the case. Um, okay. But one second, but Hilo, but the the the liter and many others, they they go on and on sometimes for hours. So, so it's a [clears throat] major difference. It's a major difference. They go on and and and Rabbi Salvich was the master eulogizer. the master when he he [clears throat] when he give a hespit people were like this he he you know what I'm saying um and he wasn't you know you straightforward litfuck he was a brisket and he had a certain style but the style and and and they they say over that when Rabaran Cutler passed away was yardside I think was just was coming up base Kisv the head of the lake with yeshiva the liter yesa And um he came they knew each other. He came prepared with a uh with a eulogy because he figured you know you know I'M SAYING TO HIMSELF he's Mr. Eulogy. They're not going to ask him to and and he happens to be someone who raised money for Lakewood. Why you RAISED MONEY FOR LAKEWOOD? And that was one of the uh things that wasn't so nice where they didn't ask him and they didn't even call him up. I don't want to go into No, it's you got to read my books for those secrets, the footnotes. [laughter] But but but but the point being is that the the this you know it goes along what Misha was saying before it goes along with this overall issue you know how important is man how important do you want not how important do you want the the the yesesh in other words at the end of the day it's like he is this and he's this and he's this like you know kabad you We learn to see this so many years. You see, IT'S ALL ABOUT BL. Whether we're there or not is ANOTHER STORY. BUT WHAT WHAT IS THE THE WORD THE BUZZ WORD like Don Seaman, the associate professor of Jewish studies at Emory said to me, it's ble. It's bit right. Take for example Slabka. Old Slabkin. I don't know about today's was God, the greatness of man. Take for example Nardik. It was the loneliness of man. You know each one each one is like has another quality about man. Take told me I asked him once about and others told me he didn't really study them death but he sees a lot the word wholesomeness of man. So in each of these man has a prominence which means there is some uh cretins given to the to the yesesh on different levels. Not talking about you know arrogance but the yesesh is still there. What is the thead literature that point TO the every right? So that's all it's different approaches. Every approach is holy. You know, Nardik really believed in in being not big Lord but you know like there's MAN AND SHOW HOW HOW YOU'RE A NOTHING. SHOW HOW YOU ARE NOTHING. WHEN I'M SHOWING I'M A NOTHING. IF I HAVE TO SHOW I'M A NOTHING, I'm everything. If I HAVE TO SHOW I'M A NOTHING. IN KABAD IT'S NOT TO SHOW YOU NOTHING TO BEGIN WITH. YOU'RE NOTHING TO BEGIN WITH. YOU'RE NOTHING. There's only God. That's a different perspective. A completely different perspective. You understand? It's a whole different perspective. Okay. We have to learn some text here. Let's go. The Reb says that says this is why every person says the confessions during the I've sinned and I've robbed and all of that even a complete like how come but he didn't rob. So the Reb says because even the most true service in comparison to Hashem is like a sin. This is what I told you yesterday before we went back to the beginning of the text that we we started with that the attitude is the sins that you're throwing out by at the river. story I told you yesterday for me it's it's mitzvah and the attitude of ramen who threw away those sins is hey it's like who am I you know everything I've done is sinful or lacking better let's use the word lacking in the eyes of aesh so therefore even says know all the confessions to make It says he kneel to the earth. Why did he kneel? Right. What is this a mimicking game? You were mimicking the god. You know I think about the aoda and then we kneel once we kneel twice and here we do kneel. Here we don't kneel. What are you kneeling for? So if you feel you're in you're in the avoid and your your mind you know about the avoid you're feeling you're standing the mdash and it's awesome and it's it says that say that when was when he kneled he saw the attribute of truth and he said wait a minute I am not truthful. SO RIGHT AWAY HE ACKNOWLEDGES through his his kneeling for who can stand before the truth before Hashem the truth says elsewhere skip the parenthesis you should bring either an ox or a sheep What did the say here? You said what say? Either bring your ax. Why eat either this or that? Say, guess what? One person can afford to pay for a big ox and one person can only pay for a little sheep. So that's what they say. Look at the inside. When God Almighty makes a request of a Jewish, he makes the request based on their ability, not based on his ability. Because if he were to make the request based on his greatness, there would never be able to be any type of any type of service because no one can compare to God. So what does Hashem ask of us? Hashem asks of us just be the the the truth. The barometer is your truth. Of course the mess with would say would say when I come is not going to ask why weren't you like the why weren't you like Davidu they'll ask why WEREN'T YOU THE WAY COULD HAVE been that's going to be the question to us Dolphin you could have been the Dolphin that I really put gave the ability to grow. Why aren't you that way? That's what asks don't. By the way, the in the in the the elsewhere in I believe says it's important to know that there's a higher standard. Why? To get you moving. In other words, let's say in a simple English, compet competition is healthy. Why? Because when you know there's a competing doctor or so or social worker or cipher or whatever that's you know on you know doing better and all that competition of understandably without jealousy and all of that but the is saying here in in the name of kazal based on the YOUR BEST ABILITY OF TRUTH YOUR truth in other words your tr have you reached your plateau of truth. All I'm adding is that it's important to know that there is another level higher which is kind of the truth of truths. Alba speaks about this in chapter 13 in Tanya MS and MS Lamito if you look there right truth and then there's truth of truth. So, BUT THAT BUT HE'S NOT talking about that here. I just mentioned as an aside when we call Minim back. >> Yes. Rabbin, when you say competition, >> you mean you mean like what we call like what was called kinosim? >> Yeah. Kenosim. Yes. Yes. Or let's say I'm in I'm in in my class in yeshiva or in school and and a friend of mine is it it get it gets me to hey I'm never going to be like him. God blessed him with a much better head, you know, or memory, whatever. But but you know, I I need to strive for higher excellence, you know, the excellence that I was given by which I haven't yet gotten to. Otherwise, you stay stagnant. you know, status quo and you know there you look around and you look at life and you know we sometimes get stuck get stuck in a rut and we justify it. I'm older. I have this I have kids I have grandkids I've done it already you know I look so just talking between ourselves you know when I was 23 the sent me out on is to Marin County and as as we've discussed many times what Marin County meant in the 1970s and ' 80s the counterculture you know hub of of near Berkeley and everything else and uh between 19 between 23 three and and 30 years old, seven years with Hashem's help, I had a a kabad house, a yeshiva, not a day school. I I made a a yeshiva with the level of learning like any good yeshiva, a bookstore in San Francisco, a men and women's mikvah, you know. Oh, [laughter] at 30 I knew friends and people older at 50, they didn't do that, right? I'm I'm just saying like so here I'm coasting. You're coasting. What are you coasting for? What are you coasting for? Okay. Right. In other words, it's easy to fall back and look at your accomplishments and be staggered. And this I learned from the Reb. He was a man who was so gifted AND SO BLESSED BESIDES [clears throat] being a sadic and and a sham and all of that just a a gifted personic and look how they didn't stop in in in their mhigos in their leadership in their learning in their demanding and their talking and and counseling until the last day on the earth. Right? So, so we have to always remember that that this idea of you know is very important. Let's go on. Um, I'm sorry. Reb says time to time very clearly, very important. The Reb says, "This is not for every week and every day where you knock yourself out and you say, "Hey, you know, you know what? What am I doing? You know, uh, get off. get off and move. You know, coming down on yourself is a harsh a it it you know, it's not it's not for a daily a daily and weekly. You make a and that should give you the boost hopefully. And he says it will cause frustration and you'll say to yourself, I got to do more. I got to do more. I've made these wonderful, you know, art. I got to do I got to FIND ANOTHER CREATIVE IDEA. AND I HAVE I have this I'm sure much of you have it and we all have it. You know, we you in writing, you know, it's like, okay, what's you got to find the next the [clears throat] next niche, the next the next and that takes mind work and and thinking and and so that that um you know that that that meditation that reflection is not shouldn't be daily because daily it's too much. It's it you got to it's like the Reb told David Mintz of toudi if you remember to I don't think it exists anymore. David Mince was a turvas boy and he had he lived at the end he lived in Tennerly New Jersey where Rabbi Shane has the kabadas and he gave a lot of saddaka and he paid for the mikvah of his mother. It's it's a one of a kind mikvah anyway. So, so the Reb told him, he says that he HIS HIS COMPANY WENT PUBLIC. TOFOODI WENT PUBLIC. SO, the Reb said, "Mr. Mintz, if you're going to worry about the price of the stock every day and 10 times a day, you're going to make a big mistake. You have to worry about making your product better." And don't look at the price of the stock. YOU JUST YOU MAKE YOUR PRODUCT BETTER, more people will buy it, more companies and your stock will go up. Using that that that advice that the Reba gave David Mintz, if you if you worry about your avoid every day in this manner that he's talking about here, it's going to blow you out. It's it's it's too much. It'll bring depression. You shouldn't do that. But look at the language. The ace what's the language here? from you know once in a while you should reflect this way and it'll cause your soul to be frustrated in a positive way and you will do something about it. Needless to say, if you stop and think about my mitzvah is not the way it should be based on what the truth can as we said earlier. Surely surely when uh foreign thoughts are enter a person's service so the person [laughter] if you have these so surely you know um you know like come on you're you're serving God and you have these foreign thoughts so obviously it knocks you out. The first thing is when you have those thoughts, the next thing is if in your speech and in your behavior you find things. One second here I got let me finish the paragraph and then I'll take your point. Sure. Okay. If this is done where you have inappropriate thoughts are surely inappropriate speech and action, you're distant from Hashem with the ultimate distance and all of this meditation reflection. It causes a bitterness to your soul very much so of the soul of the worshipper that I'm sorry and one cries with bitter tears. Why so far? >> Yes. Hil, what do you want to say? >> Just Yeah. First of all, I'll just, you know, confess that as far as I'm concerned, most of my thoughts when I'm talking are are are extraneous. It's not easy to get in a thought about God very often, but occasionally I come back. But I I was just curious about the this this footnote where the Rebi says about the word about and he says, hotel. >> So, uh, and I'm curious. >> You see the note? Do you see the note that they wrote here? You see the note? >> Yeah. I couldn't miss it. [laughter] I was actually I always drawn to to the footnotes because I can't pay attention to the to the [laughter] main body. But uh I'm curious, you know, the the way that Tanya uses the word Russia that at a certain moment you're doing something uh uh something raw. So you're in Russia at that moment. It's not who you are, it's what you're doing. And uh I would just curious about the distinction between the thought what's a what's the difference between a a push and a Russia? >> Oh, you know, so that you're you're you're asking something else. What's the difference between a push? I thought that you were alarmed by this few words, which by the way, I don't know, in the copy that we're using. Look at the bottom. It says, "The Reb wrote concerning this line. There's no need to copy this." >> Oh, yes. They didn't want it to be in the in the in the fifer. You know, there's there's certain there's certain certain things >> it's better not to be written. [clears throat] >> It's better to go to the grave with Okay. [laughter] Now, now wait a second. To say my avoda, my service is like a sin is lacking, that's acceptable. But to go and put in black and white words, you are a sinner. You see? So that goes along the line with what you just said here. In other words, it's not you, it's what you do. So that's why I'M EXPLAINING WHAT I THINK. I DIDN'T SEE this anyway. Just I'm thinking out loud that the Rashab doesn't want it in writing because then if you put THAT IN WRITING, YOU'RE SAYING it's you, the sinner. You're the sinner. You're the >> Yeah. And And it's not. It's not but the concept as far as the differences I mean I think that the difference between and one is accidental you know and one is intentional just you know but you know it's it's very good >> it's a it's a humble standard to aspire to >> yeah and I I want to just say about what you said earlier because it's important about you know mostly adab let let me usually when we talk about mash we talk about you sexual thoughts. Okay, that that is if in kazal they're not talking about what did you what did you eat for supper? >> Uh what you know what I have to be at 3:00 over here. That's not usually what kazal mean. Okay. So we got to make that clear. So, but when he talks about here the he's talking about inappropriate thoughts at the same time at the same time one of the ways that the Reb suggests to people cuz people spoke to the Reb about this issue cuz you're not the [laughter] only one with the issue. We all have the issue and the Reb said to look into the words as you doubt them. that that is a way that will help you be mirac kiss your on a simple level. So we know it by heart in our sleep right but if you look into the sitter and you say ash you will see that there's a difference in your mind in your thought that in the sense that it gives less room I said less not that it doesn't give any room less room for a to enter and the words become the kind of the battling the battle ground and and no the words become the ammunition to fight off the other thoughts. And again, I'll point to what I saw with the Reb. He always used a sitter. It was only once a year that we saw that he didn't use a sitter. You know when that was by Hosanas by Hosanas in the morning because he held his lines. Again, it was a big L of Vanessa right here. and everyone's going around seven times. He didn't have he he didn't feel that he could hold a sitter like you know I you know how it is even today they make today probably Moshe they they make pamphlets or sheets but still I I tried it and you KNOW I I MANAGE IT'S MUCH BETTER THAN HOLDING A SITTER BUT YOU got to look down if YOU DON'T SEE SO WELL GOT [laughter] TO STRESS your eyes so that was the only time during the year that the rebba said do you know what that means DANES WOULD SAY ONCE A YEAR and who know he KNEW IT BY HEART BECAUSE HE SAW A MUMBLING HE wasn't and he was following the the but otherwise he always used a s and he always made a point at the end of fabang when he would say everyone who needs to make an after blessing should make an after blessing and he cited the ra who said that so he did the same thing he would open up a s look at any gem video and he looked inside trust me he knew about pal mik here. So the it's it's a way hill since you mentioned it and I think it's it's very important and good thing you mentioned the way to to lessen and even you know not inappropriate thoughts but just foreign thoughts is to look more into the sitter and um you know we get we get used to sometimes we know it by heart you know what I'm saying do you wanted to say something someone yeah >> I I I wanted to say on the thing you were talking about about the rabbit Today is the yard site of Rome Shapiro of Lublin. >> Oh, thank you. >> And so I saw the Trebba had a told the story that he had heard I think from an old Talmet of his that uh that this that this um when he had a Bina for Yeshiva. >> Yeah. So the uh the mayor Shapiro asked a question about had to do with the the a vot of the cohen guttle on kipper and the and the holding of the tray the tray with the ashes something like that and something why he wasn't holding something else uh or something like that I'm sorry I'm not I don't have all the details in the story but all right but he said >> he said he said my arms are full I can't carry anything more the Talmud says and he says ah you're a student of yeshiva that was what he wanted people to visualize and so embody the the teaching that he sort of figured out the quandry that the co would be in at that moment in the avod >> yes thank you and today we see rah Shapiro's dafayi what it's become I mean you think about about it you know almost a hundred years ago maybe a 100 years ago he he he he founded that that idea instituted that idea and for many years it was small change you know it [laughter] wasn't it it became kind of popular you know in America post Holocaust and even not just post Holocaust in the 1950s much later um so we have to do we'll see everyone tomorrow have a great day Great great discussion. Bye-bye. Take care. Bye-bye.