Hechaltzu 15a- Positive Jealousy, Rebound Affect is best for ongoing passion - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

So, we're learning the uh the we're on chapter 15. Thank God we're I think more than halfway done. Not thank God that we're done, but thank God that we're learning. Well, so the Reba spoke about in chapter 14 the attribute of jealousy. When we hear the word jealousy, the average person will say it's negative. In this chapter, the Reb is going to say there's a side to jealousy that's positive. Let's look inside chapter 15. is although there is also a a virtue to jealousy from a in a spiritual manner and as it says the jealousy amongst writers and schol scholars and rabbis and teachers will increase the knowledge of God. Right? If I'm jealous of of of of of Mosha knowing let's say two tract days of Talmud and I want to outdo him, I'm gonna learn three track days. That's great. That's great. So the idea of int intellect in general, wisdom being a cause for for for jealousy, the sages say that's positive. That's a healthy way. In other words, competition based on spiritual spirituality is healthy and he brings support from a verse the mid says on the verse you know there was Jacob Yakov had several wives one of them was Ra Rachel Raul and her sister was Leah Leia Leah was blessed with children Raul didn't have children until until later she had bey and then etc. So Raul the Torah says Raul was jealous of his sister. So normally we we read that as a negative, right? If you if you learn the the scripture, the verse, that's no good. What are you jealous of your sister? The midrash, which is the homalytic way of interpretation of the Torah. The mid teaches she wasn't jealous of Rachel of Leah having children. She was jealous of what got her to have the children, which which were her good deeds. So, SHE WAS JEALOUS OF THE GOOD DEEDS. THAT'S VERY GOOD. It It'll get me to do also good deeds. There's nothing wrong with that. Let's look inside. She was jealous not of Rachel, of but she was jealous of her good deeds. as it says there's the a verse that says don't be jealous of of of of the sins but rather be jealous of the of the good deeds. Uh let not your heart uh envy sinners but rather envy the fear of God. Okay, continuing. When is this type of jealousy acceptable? when you're jealous of the good deed or the the the wisdom and similar this type of jealousy is when you're jealous of somebody who has good deeds and and and and lots of wisdom. Next page. What does that cause? that causes that you exert effort in the same manner TO ATTAIN THE SAME GOOD deeds until you reach this this left these loft this lofty level. This line he the says a rule jealousy the mida of ka reaches a very deep place in the soul. So now if you use it in the positive way then then jealousy reaches the right place in the soul. If you if you if you use it the wrong way i.e. you're jealous in of a person's um belongings and what they have and all of that, excuse me, then it reaches a very deep place in the soul in a negative way. That's what he's saying. This envy has the power to reveal the depths of the soul, the hidden recesses of the soul that we spoke about in chapter 13 until you could reach a very lofty spiritual level. If the jealousy is an is harnessed in the right way, it's not it's not for the material matter, but the jealousy is about the spiritual uh mindset and the spiritual godly cause of having all those good things which is good deeds. So I'm jealous of those goodly deeds. So I want to do more good deeds. As it says elsewhere, Okay. Now, here introduces two concepts. I'm not you might have learned this inidas because you've been learning a lot of over the years. It's called which means the rebounding light to go back rebound the straightforward light. Have you learned about these two things? Hel yes. So typically this is this is the example is like the sun. It's an example. The sun shines. The sun shines all over. The sun shines on your beautiful garden. The sun shines on not nice things all over. And guess what? The sun also shines on the garbage on the dung. In other words, light shine doesn't distinguish between good and bad. Its messages shine. Who picks it up? Everyone. What do you do with it? depends on the the place that's picking it up and the person that's picking it up is like similar to a mirror. A mirror the way a mirror is made it takes the sunshine and place a mirror and the mirror then reflects the shine of the sun to the place where the mirror wants it to be. That's what that's what a mirror is. So in other words, what we call theer I like the word the rebounding light. I like another example. This is something having been a New York Knicks fan in my youth. I no longer follow basketball, but I used to in 1969 and 70. In fact, I I my brother my brother Kit jokes with me and my brother says that I should I I should put together my fantasy sports game and I'll become a overnight millionaire tonight today because I used to use a drrele and the drrele has gimble hey shin on it right and each and I would spin the drrele and depending on what the drrele would land on the gimble hey or shin I would say either Dave the Busher, he used to play for the New York Dickers, Mark probably remembers and and >> so very well. >> Yeah. So if if if if the drrele landed on a gimbal, I said the busher, yes, he hit the basket. Then if if if it landed on a shin, that means the the other team got the basket. And so I I in my fantasy imag imaginary mind as a young boy I I I did this and my brother SAYS THIS IS PART OF WHAT FANTASY sports is about today which is making millions and billions of dollars. But anyway, why am I saying that? So when the basketball player when the player throws up the ball and it doesn't go into the basket but it hits the backboard or the rim and it bounces back which is called the rebound. you many times you see it comes off and the and the opposite team player grabs it and THROWS IT ALL THE WAY DOWN COURT TO SOMEONE ELSE WHO'S THERE AND puts it in and he was able to do that. WHY? ONLY BECAUSE THERE WAS A REBOUND. The harder the rebound and the opposite the the opposite player gets it, HE HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF GETTING IT DOWN COURT FOR THE other person to score for his team to score. In other words, the rebound. So, so you so a regular shot would be like the orosher. You throw it up, it goes in. Okay, IT'S A YOSHER. IT'S A SHINE. OKAY, it scored. But it didn't it you know it didn't it didn't do it's not as powerful as a rebounder is the energy of that that causes that is the rebound and and the rebound is um a very important and effective way in harnessing Hashem's energy. So these are two things that are discussed in it's mentioned in this explains it here that we're at a point now in chapter 4 15 with the says that envy when used in the right way is like the it's like the rebound effect. In other words, normally envy we learned in the last chapter is a no no. Jealousy is not acceptable. It's very unhealthy. It it it causes lots of problems. So the rashab says that's right. But if the jealousy is is you is is coming from a different source i.e. you're jealous of the the good deeds as he said earlier in this chapter earlier then it's a rebound. So it didn't go in it's not the norm. In other words it's not the norm but it comes back better. Another example, I just want to give a few examples so you could think about it and understand it better. The the the person was born from what we what they call the FFB from from birth FFB versus the BT which they call the Baltoua. This person wasn't born religious, wasn't from and becomes religious. You look around and you see I would say that more than more than than less the baltes is is frommer than the FB more meticulous. You know what I'm saying? Why is that? because the person had a taste of the other side and then they made a radical change in their life to reject it and to say this is not the way I should live but I want to live in a more kosher holy Jewish way godly way. So the acceptance there is a lot deeper. That's so the balu what I'm adding here is the balesa would be an example of orer and the and the and the fruit from from birth person even if he's a very holy rabbi and teacher and all of that is our >> and the the the the aoda the service is to for the FFB to attain a quality of orer in his service. You understand? And so too for the Balteshoua to take that passion that he comes to because of his chuva and it should become his norm like we spoke about the other day when Malaysia asked me about the sele. In other words, how long do you coast with the Baltua passion? We know that we know and I always go back to what Mosha told me when I came there the first time to Raish how people he see in his are stale a lot of people are stale and that's the norm it's it's it's not the it's not that he was saying any gossip the norm is you excited and then you cool down right that's the way it is it's the it's the way it is in everything in life so Muser teaches us that we need to take keep that passion going. I don't know if you remember but when we're learning he get uses of the alterba where he speaks about giving sodakis one of the letters he says I'm coming to a awaken you of your old love for and supporting the people there. What does it mean the old love? So the the explanation over there is I shared with you at the time is saying to them hey when I brought this idea to you several years ago you were all excited oh we can give saddaka to FROM RUSSIA AND UKRAINE AND Belarusia we're sending money for people to to live and to learn all that. The next year the mul comes you give them a little bit. The third year less and the fourth year virtually the excitement is gone. So the alterbasis wrote a letter knowing that this is the case. HE SAYS, "HEY GUYS, remember your old love. Remember how you felt about Israel so long years ago and it's still important now. It's the same thing I'm I'm I'm sharing with you now. It is so important for the excitement that we once had for mitzvah and yiddish kite and everything else to be vibrant today. You know, they have, of course, you know, refresher courses, uh, follow-up courses, adult education, right? Right. People midlife 50, 60, 70, going back to college. My mother-in-law with less memory at 70, 75. WENT BACK TO BROOKLYN COLLEGE to to do more or, you know, or online, I forget now. I think she did both. Um, writing. She was an excellent writer and she started when she was you know in her 20s and then you know life got you know and she got married and had children went away to Australia. So in old age she still has that drive and barem my father-in-law supported her in that and pushed her and drove HER TO BROOKLYN COLLEGE FROM KAN Heights which is a ride. In other words it's it's it's very easy to fall into the or so we think of light and shine as being great. It is great when it shines, but if it shines too much and you get comfortable, you're going to get old very quickly, very quickly. And this is a a struggle, especially for us who are a little older, you know. Uh and that's why the Reba the Reb told Rabbi Gutnik of Australia, he was 75 years old. He retired from his synagogue and he was a chaplain. He had prominence and he had he had everything going for him. And he comes to the Reb and he says to the Reb, "Happily, you know that I retired." And the Reb said, "What? You're retired?" The Reb said, "I'm older than you quite a bit and I have plans for the next 20 years or whatever." And you telling me you're retired. There's no retirement. There's a difference between what you do now and what you'll do in 10, 15, 20 years. But the mindset has to be with, you know, driven to to accomplish. Just the other day, my friend and I were talking about friends of ours who are moving in America to communities where their children have moved to. >> And and you know there's now in Kingston, Pennsylvania's old Kabad community in Chicago, in Florida, all over, right? I'm not saying if you know like Moa is from from Chicago. That's where he's from. So if he's going back to his I'm just saying the ner but but when you live in Brooklyn or you live here and you pick yourself up to be next to your kids now one hand it's a beautiful thing right on the other hand I have to ask yourself and I I said this to this is the way I believe the rebba would if you ask the rebi would say is your move to where your kids are going to advance and enhance your your work for for Judaism for God and for for that matter for society or will you become a sidekick and irrelevant and that's why the rebba was very much not in favor of rabbis who retired in New York Chicago and they proudly told the reba they're making aliyah it wasn't that he was against aliyah but he was he was against he he he suggested first of all he suggested you still could do stuff here but even if not were you moving to you're moving to Jerusalem. What are you going to do there? It's saturated with rabbis. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO THERE? You're moving to a kibbutz, you're moving to a moshad or you're moving to Tel Aviv and you're going to continue teaching and reaching out. Okay. Why? Because otherwise you become just irrelevant. So you're next to your kids. No. And what are you doing? I have nothing to do. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. But I have my kids. You have your kids, but you're an old what are you? An old geyser. You're 65, 70,75. God has blessed you. You have, you know, good health, taking care, you could live 10, 20, 30 more years. What's your calculation? So I think that's a very important as we as we um think about this idea of I'm elaborating because it's this is the first time that I can remember that we really had in anything that we learned this concept of so I want to make sure that you understand the greater meaning behind or when you learn this one of the you know um most People don't pick up on what the significance of oriser is practically oriser's passion the rebound and and I I I said earlier and I want to conclude with this one then we'll learn further in the text that the beshoua who was excited when the excitement dwindles has to create a consistency of that passion in his daily life. So that's an example where which would be the balesa syndrome the balesa mode where it no longer is just a high that I had when I was you know becoming a balesa and then and then or when you know covid and then this the war and the six day war and all those things that you know brought people to but now in your daily life when things are all normal and things are regular And it's day in day out and you have to dress your kids and put food on the table and go to the post office and and and you know all are you walking to the post office with their mach which for me was a nightmare compared to the post office here in in America and I just hate it the the thought of having to go to the post office because it's such a ball of gun. Oh my gosh. Right now, the question is, do can't will you find a way cuz that's where you live. You live in Ramadan. That's your post office. You're going to get a piece of mail. So rather than fretching about it, are you going to turn it around and make it a a a new experience, a spiritual experience, an exciting experience? Yes, Hila. I was going to comment since you're doing about post office that the the TRV's parents when they first made Aliyah in 1949 he was the postmaster of Gaza. >> Really? That's a that's a tidbit of fact. We should file that. That's a great uh Yeah. Let's continue now. Let's the last line on this on this page. So he says it says The rebound light brings draws down the energy from the concealed state to the revealed state. The the strongest and most potent powers within a person which in a much greater way You know, God forbid someone's under the car, YOU YOU GO OVER AND YOU PICK UP THE CAR. HOWER, Hashem gives you because SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO DIE OR BE THE CRUSHED that in the norm you couldn't do it. And and and and for you, it's a daily occurrence. You just look around, you see. It's amazing. Could you imagine this this rabbi And then the person in the army lost his feet. Rabbi I saw a little clip on on the television on on the amazing amazing amazing to me how a man who almost died. He lost his legs and is in a wheelchair going like this and getting old to dance. You don't give up. That's what he says here. So too regarding jealousy from the in a spiritual holy way. Now the says that says this is only when you desire the other person's good. But what if you don't really want to be holy and pure and pious? You're jealous of your friend and you say, "I'm jealous of you. Who are you TO WANT TO BE so religious?" You understand? You look around and come someone comes INTO SOMEONE COMES into sh you know who the guy is. you know, from the community. And he shuckles AWAY AND HE DABBINS AND HE and and you say, "Hey guy, you're a faker. I know I I know I know what you do." You know what? So this So you're you're jealous. You're jealous of his aod because you believe that he's a he's a fake. So you your jealousy is a negative jealousy and therefore you hate him. The says says this is something THAT IS VERY VERY BAD VERY VERY bad that we we label someone who weak know things about that person and then they all of a sudden become holier than thou. That's what he's talking about here, right? AND WE BECOME JEALOUS OF HIS HOLIER THAN thou attitude and and approach. And we say and and we start hating him because we say you're not you're not of the quality to dab so long, to learn so much, to give so much to duck. You're you're a faker. You know, you want your name all over whatever whatever ideas come to you. So the Reb says when you have this type of jealousy of of him because he's not authentic in your mind this is very bad. Now it's because of your ego. Therefore you hate specifically those that serve God serve God. And we're going to continue tomorrow this last point. So right now we're at the point where he makes the point that that the reason you shun away from people who are true servants of Hashem is because you're jealous of you. You're jealous of them. you know, we who, you know, we're we're older and balabatim and we're, you know, but in the yeshiva world, this this issue is a big issue. Those that are yeshiva and kao, there's there's a concept of envy. Now, you know, they'll tell you that my envy is because of Torah. This guy finished half a I'm envious of him. So, I'm going to try to fit. So the RASH ACKNOWLEDGES here that if in the truth IS THAT THAT'S YOUR envy that's acceptable because you're not envy of you're envy of what he his information that he learned half of shas and so you want to learn more that's fine but when the envy is not because of what co causes him to be on the pedestal but just the fact THAT HE'S ON A PEDESTAL AND THAT BOTHERS YOU THAT'S very We'll learn tomorrow. Mashem, have a great day. >> Take care. Bye-bye.