G-d expects you to do your best, not someone else's best - Application of Love - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

so we're learning aanya on page 140 we're middle of chapter 50 and the AL here discusses in this chapter a unique type of AA for Hashem a unique type of love for God called AA a fiery a fiery love also known as the love of gold versus silver the love of gura discipline judgment severity versus the love of kindness all of this is uh explained in the chapter and we went over it that length last two classes and finally Dr rebba said this is the service denoted by the Levites the levim in comparison to the kohanim the priests because the service of the levim is one of song Shir zimra and a song involves in intense passion you know um even if you're not you know uh singing loud loud and shouting but the whole mechanism of of music and song is a um attention oriented experience in other words I I'm saying this CU let's we talk about in music in Jewish music in music we have what's called that are nun Melodies that their orientation is attachment the word comes from d like glue that that two things are glued together now ofus uh really if you want to really hear those n and try to understand them and identify with them you'll find them mostly in in kabad Melodies I mean majit there's aidic group called majit they have some but also different than kabad the ones amongst all theid groups that really uh probably you know that that emphasize a lot of is and uh we have two full volumes called for the book of Melodies with notes that is on the market and today online you can hear quite a few and I see more and more are uh sharing in various ways n now Aus n is has a has a certain softness and calmness to it you know but it's very deep it it it it really you know goes deep deep into you so that depth that the nigan touches is the tension of the niggan is the tension of the niggan so of course you can have a nigg with a and then singing and dancing that's obviously uh a tension um friction uh movement excitement Negan but in the nunim that areus Nim which we in our philosophy of kabad emphasize as a means as a tool to connect to Hashem so that you know we go deep inside ourselves not just dealing with the outside of ourselves the external but also the internal what we call in Hebrew the pemus that's also Al tension so that's why Al says here that the L the Levites who a who service in the Holy Temple the B of MDES was song Right each morning we say the she sh the song of the day and we as we say it was sung by the Levites so what I'm saying is that all Nim all I'm not saying it the balat says it and brought down in many is is is one of gura and what I was answering is how do how do you reconcile a vus nigan with gura gura sounds like you know gura is Judgment fire strict and vus is you know depth meditation quietness silence how do the two go together it's called aus nigan and that's why I explained that that that the the the Theus nigan someone someone is not muted and I'm hearing sounds mosha yeah anyway so Theus nigan it it does go deeply into you and it does cause tension within you positive tension tension of waking up and smelling the coffee where am I what am I doing with my life you know you know what type of relationship do I have with god with to with Torah with other people so it's also the idea of tension but the format in which the Fus nigan expresses tension is different than the way a more emotional excitable niggan expresses tension so I just wanted to share that and especially aam is a is a musician and so that's another thought to think about the the the the tension notion within all song with all Shir zimra so that drb says here that's the service of the L and that's analogous to the gold and that's analogous to the quality of Ava here here we're looking to be absorbed by Hashem the the the the Muk the Mish is the Hebrew word for the objective the objective of the AA of the love for God of chapter 50 is absorption in God and letting go of ego of of All Sorts including the sort of remaining here and being Godly that's the initial sense of this a now let's continue now page 140 and this is it's about 12 lines 10 12 lines from the bottom after the brackets the first set of brackets which says p b so this is the fourth we're at the fourth word on the page V here are beautiful words says and it is impossible to explain this ha well in writing right he's writing here he's writing chapter 50 so he says to us and to himself you should know fellows you should know people who are learning this it's very difficult to put these ideas in writing right here um the Reb rashab the fifth Reb of kab said don't think it's only difficult in writing and not difficult to in words it's more difficult than writing and it's Le and it's it's not as difficult in words but it's also very difficult to to communicate the the precise Ava and the and the feelings of this love that he's talking about here in words words the rashab says that so he says my great-grandfather the alterb he says it's it's difficult to communicate and a writing and of course he's right but it's also difficult in words as well anyway so the question is how should each and every one of us relate to it so he says means all people every person nil means who it comes to the word l from heart but it means every person who who's who has a heart and who doesn't have a heart as if you're alive you have a heart but it means someone who is kind of you know passionate with his heart someone who has a feeling he not a cold a cold fish okay not only Neil that has a heart but V who has a brain and everyone has a brain who applies his to to every matter this is a reference to the of right because creativity creating an intellectual idea is attributed to the component of within theab acronym number two not only is he creative in in the idea but he did delves into it um the ker is he he he he delves into connecting his mind with it I think is a reference to so we have the three elements of hasem in other words although it's a very difficult issue to articulate in writing nevertheless every person who who has a heart and every person who has a mind and of course everyone has a mind if they apply their wisdom their their wisdom understanding and knowledge to the topic at on hand y to they will find good and the hidden light in their soul that comprehends every individual based on their own capacity what does this mean this means to say every one of us has a different way of thinking we all have an element of we all have an element of understanding creativity comprehension and development of creativity and finally attachment to the idea which is Das nevertheless each and every one of us is strong in a certain element of those three and within those three an element within an element so you can't say you know uh Einstein was a genius in creativity um now um I I forget now did he have any kids Einstein but whether he did or I think he did um you know they must have the same creativity like the father absolutely not I once met a daughter of Einstein oh yeah okay so in in other words it's not hereditary that the daughter necessarily is strong in creativity like the father maybe her strength is in Bea in development of an idea or maybe the the focus and concentration the point being that everyone has these three in different formats although everyone emphasizes another aspect as the main orientation how they approach life and approach learning and understanding Etc says the AL here that every one of us based on our ability Hashem doesn't demand of God does not demand of us more than our ability but but but what our ability is he demands a lot if AEM says okay you're not strong in creativity you're strong in development then I want you to develop and if you're strong in development you're not strong in creativity I want you to develop and not be creative not not to be creative that's not your strength so what does he say he says that if everyone will apply whatever their strength their intellectual and emotional strength is in developing these idea this idea of chapter 50 says the balat you will have some Glimpse and some relationship to the good and hidden light that this AA that you have in your heart and it's a fascinating thought he doesn't really articulate it more but what what what comes out if I understand correctly is that all of us you know regular people we can actually um have an aota we can have a sense of wanting to be absorbed by Hashem the the the Reb you know there's a famous saying that the rebba always repeated in the name of his great-grandfather seed who writes it in his saer which is the book of one of the main books of of his great-grandfather uh ofage the first ofad known as theed and he writes there that he heard in in from his grandfather that means from the balat the Alba was the grandfather of the third rebba that he said like this he said it in Yiddish I don't want your Paradise I don't want your Upper Paradise your lower Paradise I don't want your Haba your world to come those are all rewards that the Torah says for doing God's will in v in Mitzvah you'll be rewarded Paradise upper lower um the world to come beautiful gifts so the balat the alter says I don't want that I want you yourself God don't give me your Fascinations thank you very much he said I just want you you you you now I the Reba the rebba repeated this I don't know probably thousands of times times many many times and he said sometimes when when he mentioned this the Reb said he said like this why am I repeating it this was said by the balat who whose only thing in life was Hashem was God a lover of Israel a lover of people a lover of Hashem who are we he could say such a statement I don't want Paradise I don't want the world to come I want you but for us come on I if we fall in love with God's Paradise we're we're on a very high level instead of falling in love with the material world right the physical world so the Reb's question was why dided printed and and he said that's how we know about it what the AL what his Grand father said with the AL the Reb said and obviously the Reb said it's a lesson for us otherwise it wouldn't be in print and we wouldn't hear about it so what I'm learning when I'm when I learned this little section Here and Now sharing it with you in Tanya it seems to me that the AL here is like answering the question and he's saying yes fellas I know that this level of Love is Way Beyond the average person you know who is sincerely ready to give away everything for God find me that person go ahead find me right but nevertheless from where we are a sacrifice that we make that comes through an intellectual and emotional process and we make that little sacrifice that is a microcosm of the macro feeling of this love of being absorbed and God and that's what I expect of you and that's why these words are important because when I when I learned this again in prepar preparing the shear I asked myself a question why is the why does why does the alter Reb even write this why is this relevant to us hey I can't I can't explain this in writing but if you can't explain it in writing don't write it right if you can't explain in writing don't write it don't he writes it and then he says I can't explain in writing and then he says but what's going on here and so I believe it seems to me that what he's saying is the full picture is difficult to explain in writing and the full feeling of this love is is is not something attainable for the average person nevertheless the fume the last words before the bracket delay based on your capacity every one of us can have a miniature feeling of being absorbed in theem so now M would would ask always the question and it's a good one so tell us an example what would this be it's nice to pontificate give me an example that I could use today in my house very simple Misha when we're able to to give of ourselves for another person in any way and although you know we can find many excuses why we can't do it I don't have the time I don't have the interest on and on and on I have to take care of this I and we we put that aside and we don't allow the excuses to dominate that's an example of why am I doing it because I know Hashem wants it so I want to be absorbed by God where I am where where I'm standing I have good excuses so I'm going to I'm going to now switch to another another part of my Nish and that is the part where I just forsake the self and I go into God I let God absorb me now this could be a very scary feeling like it you know the fear of the unknown everyone knows right why are we fearful many times because of the unknown what's going to happen we want to always be in control we want to know that when we go from PES to Kon which route to use and we want to know which is safer when is there less problems on these and these roots and that's the intelligent thing to do there is a feeling where someone will kind of throw himself into the arms of God and say look you want me to be in kevone with the ancestor with the Patriarchs are buried in Kone and I'm just going now that's a very it's it could be very risky right but that's the point it's it's like an AA again maybe it's not the best example but in other words the the the feeling where I'm Yours God and take care of me God Hashem you want me to do this I'm coming my GPS is is not working I don't have the people you know whatever I'm just saying that's an extreme maybe but even in little things when we have obligations and commitments and we have we don't have time for others and we just make the time you make the time but my wife needs me my kids need me my employer needs me my Rabbi needs me you disregard all that you're now helping a person be fully there for the person what will be the next moment you'll deal with the next moment possibly Misha that is an expression of this type of Love Now I want you to look into the brackets next because there's something very beautiful I heard from Al says now in the brackets yes there's one type of experience that leads to what's called emotionalism his misp means emotion Etc and another person has another experience that leads to emotions emotionalism now the the literal meaning of this and that's why in Brackets is that every person based on their capacity of relating to God understanding God will have a different emotional response but what I heard from as a play on words not literal not not the literal meaning of the Tanya text yes yes whether you have this emotional experience of this one you remain a yesh you remain an ego-driven individual because emotionalism is tied into ego so sometimes you might find someone who's very very holy and and and emotional that is still a yesh still an ego that's what ALB is alluding to again it's not the literal meaning of the Tanya but it's a very cute insight and a very true one his spus hisp emotionalism is very much tied to Ego refined ego course ego but ego let's continue so he says that every person will develop a certain love for God after prefacing the basic awe for sin not to sin to be fearful of sin causing the person to be with have an absolute um to absolutely Stay Away From Evil so that the person it you don't cause the SE the separation with God through transgressions God forbid now remember what is the purpose of this love is just to be in love with God the purpose is that to translate that when you put on film in the morning you have a feeling I'm doing it for God M Jer gets up early to help make the minion the the feeling is there's Jews that we need to have a minion so we can answer kades and and and everything else a feeling it's not just hey it's a social club and we're going to have coffee and bagels you know a Brotherhood no it's not that it's it's it's a good thing to have to get together and socialize but the purpose of getting up 6 6:30 7 in the morning you know to to and and to run to a minion to help a minion in addition to your own desire is to is because you love God and you know God wants you to be in a minion so you get out of bed and you do it whether you sleep later or you don't you deal with it later so says what's the purpose the purpose of loving God is it should it should result in an action in Ain in a muzza in a kosher in in visiting someone in a in a you know talking to someone who's who's depressed etc etc you know bring helping people that's the whole idea so he says the purpose of the the order of this of serving God which comes of this powerful intense love this is what we call in says there's a book of known as the book of creation how God created the world and it says there if your heart is on a run if your heart is yearning and longing for God and you want to flip out and say I'm going to you God says the return to one stay grounded fella stay grounded I know you want to go to a Mountaintop and just give a what give up everything and forget about your family and your friends and your community hey you return to one to the one God but by being on Earth and being in the normal World pet he explains the last line on page 140 if your heart yearns he this refers to the strong passionate desire of the Soul within the heart on the right side the right ventricle which is The Godly Soul we're now on top of page I in three words when it overpowers you and it becomes fiery and passionate two more words very very much you want to expire you want your you want to have the experience of your soul expiring for God pouring out your heart to your father the who made you in the life of life and you want to vacate the prison of the body the physical one the material one to God you should immediately say to yourself to your heart the saying of the sages one is forced to be alive in a body in this physical body God says to the soul I'm forcing you down into the world get into that body I don't want to go it's good up here it's very comfortable I like the souls I like the Angels what do you want by force you live the AL is applying this idea to what we're learning here the person says I'm in love with God I just wanna I just want to be with him I don't want to have to pay bills and I don't want just let me be with God I want to be absorbed so we say to him no that's a good feeling and a good holy feeling but that should trigger you returning to Earth and having that feeling on Earth to have that feeling and to vacate and to escape is not the ultimate purpose so the feeling itself here here the feeling itself is genuine but the application of the feeling if it leads to flipping out and and Le leaving everything and forgetting about the world is wrong that's what we just learned tomorrow mam we'll finish the chapter and I'll still continue explaining this idea everyone have a great day Z don't think I'll okay okay you shabas and Z everyone take care byebye good Shob take care