Finding Happiness - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

I just want to say and sharpest and finally I have this book so that's the book yeah very nice did you start it you so you so here's a page yes I just started it's fascinating yeah yes yeah okay call the Sullivan ten ten keys to understanding it's a psychological it's a it's a it takes you sick they say a psychological approach to the ten sphero's to the ten emanations that are brought in Cibola and considers okay okay page 284 everyone please 284 where condyles look towards the middle to the bottom of page but just to recap since we we didn't learn since Thursday we're learning here about an interesting idea an important idea and that is that in order to be effective in making the yetzer hara or in classical Hasidic terms the nefesh obamas be responsive to the nefesh of the kiss into the call of a Shem it requires a two-pronged process what is called haqiqa me behoove that's number one an engraving from the outside and the second is called a hockey comedy flim and the reason that ever brings in here in the minor in continuing the discussion that we've been talking about is because we're talking about the three categories of mitzvahs aiders who can you spot him so we ready finished discussing a December team and now he's a middle of discussing hooking know Mitzvahs that have no reasoning and as we said they don't even have a time comas we discussed this at length last weeks I don't want repeat it now anyway so the language in the Taylor occultation the holy Taylor is in the who case I tell a hoe it doesn't say in bahuka Tali who it says the plural who case I so the rebus says what's the asks what's the reason it says plural and he says because the word hookah besides meaning a statute it also has a meaning of from the theorem haqiqa haqiqa means to engrave and when we talk about the aspect of mitzvahs as they are in the realm of an engravement an engravement of God into us and us into ourselves there are two prongs two levels to two stages what is the Chinese and one is comedians what does that mean it means if you go straight to nefesh obamas and you spend time influencing it to leave its animalistic tendencies and you go right for broke you won't succeed why because to change the ethos of an of anyone and anything it requires a gradual it usually there's always an exception it requires a gradual approach and the gradual approach is such that you have to first deal with it in India and in its outside detainees its exterior you need to somehow get it to be calm and receptive and when you do that you can get in and make a change in the real inner thinking of the nefesh a box and casitas calls these two steps haqiqa me by hooks and kaki car maybe plenty so that ever says this is why it says be who case I plural because we're talking about the the approach to mitzvahs that will make a dent in the nefesh a bomb is in a way that the deficit bombers will will get it and make a change because you first impacted it from its in its exterior and then you got to its Linnaeus and and with this weekend and he gave the example but first when you take a piece of wood and you want to make of it a Cayley and you want the Cayley to be pretty inside you need to first prepare the outside for example before us so ferry we have a sofa here writes the parses for the Megillah or the sacred Torah you have to prepare the cloth you have to prepare the parchment preparing the parchment is an ugly compared to writing it's an ugly activity you gotta send it whatever it's a whole process an important process and lady could ask motional tell you there's different ones with Moshe debate are actually are exe is not here but with talk about a tire but I remember he went to someone special you sold cloth you know they're different grades and CloudFront he knows all about it I don't but the point being hyeri the point being that the process of refining the the parchment to make it suitable to write on it a beautiful Torro Magilla tilde mezuzah requires first and taken care of the parchment that would be an example of the haqiqa amoeba hoofs and once you have the right parchment you can start writing which is the sake cover me that's me so using that as an example that should that ever doesn't use the example of the parchment here he uses the Cayley a vessel but it's true for not just a physical vessel right in other words let's say you make a chair you could make a chair in any in all kinds of ways we check that then we'll have lots of cool splinters you made a chair it'll sit down on that chair if you didn't send down the chair you're gonna get splinters so far unless you have to stand down the chair you have to make sure the cecilius is good and once this ensign is as good that you can go to the penis and in the same way burrow we have to deal with the nefesh obamas the nectar shop bobby's has a such a mystical part to itself and that has a plea mystical part to itself so we tend many times to run to the previous we're going to change the ethos the philosophy the schita of the nevians obamas my friend before you can do that you have to get the nefesh obamas to be sanded down it can be not rough and tough otherwise this knife is a bomb is you can talk to it till you turn blue in your face it's not going to help you so let's see now what he means inside the text and this upcoming piece is a very beautiful piece here it doesn't really elaborate on it but mother my mother he does but but he gives us the briefly the idea we are now 284 1 2 3 4 5 6 6 lines from the bottom the second word on the line the line begins with the word harmony you sign and we're hoping next word the hope who in you Sookie de Ximena what part of that now where is the arena where is the place and when is the time to sand down the nefesh obamas it's doing doctor darling is the time because when you weren't kidding you're working you're sleeping you're sleeping you're eating eating and taking care your kids dr. Lebon in in in chapter 26 of Tania says there a word that people don't pay attention to he talks about the nefesh I Bobby's making a person feel depressed and bad about their sins and out that ever says there that you need to take time and and you need to have the right time to deal with that issue because if you and and he says that if you're getting depressed about your sins during work it's a ploy of the y8 Sahara you know why because when you're working you should be working not thinking about your sins so what the gates of heart is doing to you at the time is he's finding a way to schlep you more down haven't slept you more down because not only will you be upset about your sins you won't be working then you'll get you'll still have problems from that working and therefore doubt that ever says over there very you have to pick it up all over there but every word is exact out there that bizarre looting to the fact is there is the right time to make a hegemon and there's the wrong time to make a husband so so here we're talking which was trying talk about asuka dissimilar when is the right time to deal with with refining the nefesh i bombings from the outside during david and what part of dominique suka does it let's look who I am so Canada this idea is expressed during the section of chakras called verses of surah praise the words Ximena what is the word Ximena mean Hillel the literal meaning is song praise but the words Ximena also means Lezama to social to the root of look at the word Zion membrane to cook exactly Lezama or reach him what so eats and mean elites it means thorns I think to cut away the thorns learning cicadas in de yusin it's the time to cut away the things that get in our way of walking which hurt us which are cold thorns who commercial kosu and as we say one of the hallelu girls that I've amazed came the drama the exaltedness of a sham victory nam isn't their throat that if they pee ice and a double set the edge as sword is the yoga in their hand he doesn't explain here what does it mean a double edged sword why not a sword what's the pH the pH bees Moshe a sword that on both sides it has the edges not just one side that's what's called a double edged sword see this explains that's the idea of cutting the way the ate Sahara in miscellaneous is one way and Bethany means is the other way RIE a double-edged sword so he briefly says here that the activity of tsuki - Ximena in addition to praising a sham or better said the way you accomplished the real praising of a sham is by cutting away the the outside in pieces of the thorns that get in your way thorns the spiritual idea thorns there is changing the ethos the mind the heart that's already of a much more previous activity you know to change your thinking so hard to change your feeling is even harder but that's the other that's the inside of man that is the meant that is man then there is the externalities of man which are things that that are just you know something in a certain way superficial but nevertheless they get in the way so you're trying to walk on a certain path and you have branches here thorns here hose here here and it causes a Bala God and you get hurt so in order to get to your destination the first thing you want to do is clear the path clearing the path is the event of Assam that I reach them cutting the branches cutting to Florence in spiritual terms in other words those ugly issues of ego Guyver and Tyva and kena jealousy and that all those things are superficial to men that's not who man is that is those are activities that man involves themselves with and those are called the branches and the thorns and that you have the Lezama you got to cut them out there's no negotiating here you don't cut them out you ain't getting to your destination well if you're getting day that it gets scratched up or bent up or ultimately end up in a hospital right so the first thing you got to do is clear up those ugly issues and come to your senses and understand that yes yes motion generally speaking Jinnah seen in Rabat particular about that stupid parts of super sesimbra is that connected to this continue just jicama that for a moment they the overall issue of not skipping is because according to the Kabbalah the the four parts of diverting is like a ladder and since its sleeve owes you know steps is super the Zimbra because Christmas krishma and I meters monestery and they correspondent for worlds are ciub yet Serie Bria and oxy Lewis and if you skip over you break you fall down you break your legs meaning cuz I'm being harsh I don't know I mean to say you can break you ladies and other you can hurt yourself so that that's the idea there now so so the first thing I'm telling you is that's really a capitalistic idea that you want to follow because that's what the Kabbalah says so the Kabbalah doesn't you know give room for skipping how love it does but there's a different realm that's a different realm but if those that you follow Coppola I see the general dude I don't even which was you do but because McGann was a massive I'm a couple I would think that you shouldn't you know you should keep to that but that's a different discussion now the reason maybe maybe part of the reason is as explained here unless you're saying that you know you don't want you know in practical terms each step is necessary for the proper entry into fclose into a meter and if you don't have that spiritual preparation we are meters lacking now you have to understand that unless you're sensitive to these issues and you want to be sensitive it's like you know I don't know where I am and I've really got to stop it you know so if her lover says I should catch up here but then kebab in particular you know I haven't seen this in many other condition groups do they do still think that I see them eschew they go in and they jump over I can't say all but in in Labov it's it's it's it's a big no-no spirit the Babbage was very very particular again it's not an available caicos halacha determines whether it's right or wrong but our spiritual level in Chabad it was something that was very very important now if you're wondering or you're asking the stacks supersede the halacha you come into school you come in late and if you don't skip over you're not gonna die on Dominion the way I was trained by my must be em in Labov age yes the capitalistic idea because the whole idea of davit and this and by the way there's a logic support to it which the litvaks and others wouldn't accept but that is according to a crying blister that hiam rights and that ever quotes this in his in his in his letter is very important that if you stand from a nursery and you don't know before whom you're standing you really haven't damaged monestry he doesn't he doesn't write that you have 2,000 again the kind does not write that but he definitely writes if you don't know before whom you're governing you haven't done it now what does that mean you have imbalance so that's where the disputants does that mean how logically having diving because of spiritually I don't know but of high and was was saying it kind of in a horrific way in a in an eaglet way so according to the crimes thinking I would argue I would argue that if you if you skip over it's like you don't know where you are and you're not connecting so what's the point of steady German s rate if you don't know before you standing so it the same logic of a crime would apply there and that's what's it is the same and that's what Habad is saying that you need the four steps and they continue a gradual way to get this monestry otherwise you just saying words and and and and and it's a it's a it's an empty experience and the proper experience as we're learning here i just even let's take for example the sanest appears be other how many people think daily about what that means and even people who know the types okay people are learning to yeshiva and they took the time to go over the sitter and they know that it means a double-edged sword i promise you you can count on your hands growth in the kabocha rule and they've told us you how many people know know what it means really why cuz they didn't they didn't learn that it's only brought if i say this and maybe muscles for them I'm not even sure so and and then you could greet and they can bring them shown from muscle sorry that's not a considers the point being that the activity of governing is a isn't a fight that it sets a whole activity so to skip that and and and and it's necessary to build up to have the stamina to get into small necessary and if you just go into summon x-ray I'm prepared for the average person it's a meaningless experience now if you now furthermore if you're gonna say well how many people even if they know about the said if it be as be of them are so spiritually sensitive and inclined that when they get this bonus rate they know there is not sealless they they know they're one with God so first of all there's no question about it at someone that knows what the head of appears be other means and takes the time during super the Sigma with zamora recent to think about the ugly character issues that the plays them and they want to cut them away there's no question that they're more centered more prepared for some onestly so whether they know that they're enough seedless and all that maybe not but I'll be more sensitive yes I saw a rabbi right Schickel of a Solomon he was a you know he was a bigot and I put this on my video of ramanga foot the fast because when they came to my house it was him there at Mendel and I videoed him standing at my wall starting small nursery and I wrote there in the you know in the transcription of what's going on I wrote notice that it took him about a minute till he started bertok laughter I said you see him going back you seem going three steps forward and then all of a sudden you don't see him doing anything that 30 seconds to a minute I can't say exactly how much the kindness and it hit me after looking at this before when he said our service was I did stuff he's actually supposed to say that right away right he said it's so slow and so thoughtful that it took him 30 seconds to a minute to get into Baroque art om and that's why you don't see a kneeling butterfly to Hashem till 30 seconds or a minute later that's called that's called an entry into small nest ring that can only come if you already work on your in your davon in you for Lezama I reach them and everything else so you sent so the skip over is is it's like you know but what's what's the point so won't say well the ha'la'tha says yeah how love the sense don't sleep in and hug your pillow that's what the hell OSA says like grab a Schusterman garrisons from California would always he would say to us he was a tortoise considers don't have a love affair with your pillow grabbing hugging a pillow enough already you don't saying so that we won't say but what we'll say is we're concerned about the hollow climb it's a fallacy it's it's it's it's a warped way of thinking you know I'm sorry it's not but yeah there's a way of thinking I will say why does the how lovely provide this this this suggestion because there are extenuating when you need to do it I mean you know there's always an exception to a rule in other words it's the exception to the rule it is not the rule and what has become is we come late and we make it a rule that is so against halakhah that that's not what the halacha meant by love lament in an illness in a situation where your annoyingness and the stockades that is a man of krishna you know the art put you know at that time you use this halawet permission this is my humble opinion if one wants to argue with me and prove me wrong I'm I'm fine with it but that's the way I see the issue and as you said motion I'm glad you brought it up in Chabad it's it's a car not a Tuffle okay can we go on because it really was a side note so going back to the Zama deletes it so he says further commandant cut the scarf just into the after installing the yukata the couch abhi who says in Isaiah recovers when you will subjugate the negative side the seat rafter the Clipper is stylish you call it acutally who you will reveal the preciousness of a sham the cool of all men in all worlds but high no sorry they they always carry you it's through exalting Hashem and behave Ullom with praise mrs boffin's with lording and praise miss bart a mile days their eclipses are after that itself will a know nullify the Clippers in the negative side surely in Kumi not kedusha they should nature from the kedusha I knew she liked eel ahem he's a beneficent ease they shouldn't have any nourishment from the godly soul you know that the Clipper tends to suck off kedusha it knows this kedusha this is where it's at this is the mint this is the gold in the mint so it says give me a little bit I want and not just from hearing it's like someone else moocher a new chair of smoocher whatever they call them he's looking for a cigarette he's nothing baron don't you dare give me give me a smoke give me give me you know he's running around it's lunch of shoppers he hasn't smoked those shoppers he's going nuts but as Mac cigarettes she goes here right the nefesh how bad is the clipper looks to slaughter from anyone a cigarette of the cigarette fiend Helen I'm sorry delle cose because it knows that Li cous is good I'm sorry for the comparison cigarettes are terrible and dangerous but at the idea of being I had to say that he'll I'm sorry it wasn't a good example that aspect yeah so so so so this is what it does it looks to suck off nurture nurse from kedusha so through praising our sin and lowering our sin we cut away the outside forces from the nefesh about making mcdeere's enough we shall by means and not only do we cut away the bed thorns and and and and and twigs and branches but we also elevate the neffenger by measurement see him in a homeless and we extracted from its corporeality we've learned many times there is Kashmir's physicality and there is jana snow so homeliness casitas uses both words what's the difference mrs. Garcia's we're in the world of oh gosh me hungry is what a delicious steak eat the steak but what are you making the whole big deal about your steak Kumud ears you know lavishing in the indie in the gusty in dangerous heathenism all that it's like it's like grub grab cake so the nefesh a bomb is initially it it goes it gets to a point where it's totally grub totally corsica poriyal so first thing you have to do is extract it out of that and say look I know you wanted your gosh me like gossipy but just stick with the gosh neat so that's the first thing right welcome my cake Macpherson emphasized by me some achievement I hope this you elevate the never said Barbara's by taking it out for the COPO reality and this all his here stops the issue of what's called haqiqa me back hurts this is the engraving from the outside I hope it's clear to you but again you know he didn't elaborate at length there certain my Martin we've made learn to me didn't let her remember but we we talked really it went in detail what does it mean to cut away the externality of the nephews Obama's now he goes to the second who case I plural to the second type of haqiqa and that is vaca me Biff name engraving the nefesh a bombers from the inside writing the beautiful letters on the parchment for example why they have Mitzvahs penis hook on top of 285 this is through the mid sis of who came modulus of the a huff loose re my positive my midburn they are well was dubbed by the minister's the McCoy take the Mishnah saw him they were fake he goes I'm I should have no Venice no sorry in through the stick the staff that he used Kumari update honey they are me totally a law what does it mean one of the explanations is just as a well which flows forth from the the the the bottom from under the earth Lee Ayla upwards him I am high a man we call this living waters play the who you know either before me I come this is the love for a Shem which one there's three loves right motion the whole knife circle a because of overcome with a cold knife circle over homeo death or so that ever says when the love comes from the well under the Earthmen deep inside you and you dig it out and it comes forth then it's classified as my and I am living water and it represents the deepest level of love for Hashem quote with all your might become me later combine my M high and why is that just like living waters no even plummet believe FC which are constantly flowing without interruption and you all know what the business says then if you find the well and you tread a river and it's been flowing for seven years but once in seven years it dries up it's called Mayan Zubin of Zion cazuca kutzle false waters wait a minute seven years at most except one time it's flowing and only once it dries up says the Mishnah in her love her that that water coming from that river is not my implying and it is not acceptable to use took me to sprinkle on a to become amazed for as part of the tapara doom and other such laws of Tahara but why bother why seven most of the time it's mine hi in Detroit not Tubman it's not constant it's not eternal Emma's truth is Emma's entire time and in fact that our box says MS mask in the coat shot not only is in time Emma's throughout right but in every aspect and it's Emma's you can't say it's mas only here or only there and then it's not Emma's it might be called as the young could have been rights and paid a few dollars slice ms/ms MSI meet that they're different levels okay but Emma said the MS the most the real and ultimate truth is in every aspect that's Emma's for the deficits here that homemade come my am high in living water should I even Talmud Billy have sick they're constantly flowing constantly flowing to my cane either zoo this love Russian of become a colorful you might angle have sick has no interruption if you have this experience you have constant Avila cottage but cool because it comes from deep inside you and as long as you're alive it's there and what you've done is Yuri brought it into a real stay to your daily activity vitamin D Ivor shall be a time to dies when we're talking about the whole of of the home Africa the first two ideas of love for him we call that a rational combat us a rational love my left is very Venice it passes it ceases it's here today gone tomorrow if that won't here now and gone after with our be without men we get ourselves so it really incited and we feel would say we we have we love you a chef I love you I chemin I'm ready to do anything then go home and you eat your bowl of cereal and the phone rings and then you're totally forgot about the alga well the sudden you love the cereal and you love you work and it's all and what happened they left us really that's the the tendency of either the halt of other chemical NASA home is not an Islamic it does have an interruption and that's the definition of those others and it's not that those avos have no purpose they do but they don't they don't supply the person would be home the I Club mache cane conversely however have built in the Bellas the infinite either a none if seconds Leyland has no interruption ever in the second seal the sale penis my height and that's why an analogy for my my aim is alcohol make our homemade echo living water my am hiya so now go back to the missionary Moshe a river that dries up once the seven years the mr. says what it's postulate kiddush make hot dose you can't use it for I mean for pure that for purifying it's possible it's invalid but it's only once in seven years it's like someone says I only lied once in my lifetime you lied the fact that's once in a lifetime so I'm the scan will talk about mitzvahs and evaders your scales way up there but you still have a little dot and if you have a little dot you have to get rid of that dot you have to you have to cleanse yourself where it's completely clean and there's something important for us to think as we dive in and learn and grow in our years move on it's important to that's the whole years Mutulu and the LOL at this rate you know to just to reflect back what what still have i not covered please meet us plenty that haven't covered and to do children for those things and they're very very simple you know it's like and a few years ago I got a call during yes I think he was elbow or Sarah submit um I think the sense of each other and a former student of mine a buffer I was a machine in the baggage in early-childhood syllabi Rajesh even cry nights and my students were rough fifteen years old the third my sister and they were very bright group a very good bright group but being cooks binocs big mouth you know but clever and we haven't we had a very very good class because you know I was delivering to them good material and I had good students and and and the dynamics were worked out nicely anyway one of these students calls me as a married man living in Chicago actually Ashley ahead thing so he says you remember me I says boy do I remember you you were the one that the sharp cookies you know the previous never called sharp cookies in his letter in his writing there he says shot as a young Lucas sharp keep us sharp Donatists it was an expression that looks like in Portland they wore the Garrick I'll see them another they were there a yarmulke sticking out there had you know you've seen ever a garret where is young because in the back and the head here you know the certain so they used to call them sorrowful Jana Lucas you know witty witty and sharp so this guy's this booklet was a shot of the yarmulke you know he had a very good head and he understood well the cities that we were learning but he had a good hood spur mouth so I sucked him he called me I remember you were such a type of bugger you know but trying you know I was able to handle it so he says I said the white equality like 5-10 years later i'm calling to ask you Mithila and it's that saracen made truth I want to ask you forgiveness I said what did you do that idea what you did it says I was hood to predict to you and I used to laugh at you and I feel very bad and I want to ask Mahela I said you you have 100 percent Mahela I never for a moment walked away with a grudge another type of person and if something bothers me I quickly get rid of it and dump it out but if I found it so interesting that so many years later someone would call because they were making a fez bethis ascetism a true ver you know and they reminded himself that they insulted they felt they insulted their Rebbe their teacher they were Hispanic and had bothered them so what we're learning here about the IVA behold Mary Decker it's not so much in the you know the true ver realm it's in the love realm the positive realm is a missile Evansville Adventist it's there the entire time so if you tap into it you will you will come you will get you can get this other to impact you in a way that you didn't have that experience before what I'm saying is that contrary to the the attitude that I am Who I am and I know my weaknesses and if I scratch out a little luck for a sham during my governing and all that but I am NOT on the level to have this Mayan higher this mine crime is 4 bits a deacon I'm a regular ordinary fellow the fact is that it is us who say twice a day smile the whole vocal and you hasta cover from our homemade echo who are we saying it to ourselves so it's all about us it's all about us and if you rule out your ability to attain the whole mic huh call me doc huh you're not living with what you're saying in the smile however you first need the Pacific is imminent you see again you're not going to get the coma death or from eating popcorn and ice cream and listening to the news and anything else it ain't happening and if anyone tells you to happen and it's happening they need a good doctor and book psychiatrist it's not happening I'm sorry when you're involved in Lezama and I've eaten in Sookie the Zimbra and you think about your life and you think about the issues that need correction and you work on yourself as much as you can and again and again and again they in day out day in day out you see that all of a sudden what was important to you a year ago and two years ago and three years ago doesn't talk to you anymore and your real self which is the Venus summer comes to be in other words what I what I want what I'm saying now and it's very important sometimes about the truth of things everything I'm doing is an adjunct to myself and moves myself my rock n roll in my and my LSD and my and my Big Shot miss and every oldest person that I was involved in it right or or a guy who's now about this Ruby Shiva buckler and him bragging to yeshiva and saying the pill pool and he was the macho fellow right that's who really I am and now it's a cover-up I got kids I got a rabbi I got a community so but who I know that myself myself I know who I am and this is a lie what we are is in the summer what we are is become a cook my death oh and everything else is an add-on to us so every bout the silver should come and that should can take just under spin what's going on over here this is who they are they ever once said maybe more than one time but I heard it from that ever he said if you look back acted at today's generation their grandparents or great grandparents or great great grandparents though people with long beards which shocks us eat them or slide them can you show me one family that you could say for the last 500 years they were not religious maybe you can but I'm saying it's so odd so that's who the Jew is and I and you know I've studied this I look at pictures from people in the 1860s and 70s and 80s you see the fathers you see the diseases with long beards and then you can see their kids I told you this no yarmulke completely shaven zionists communists God goodbye the structure of Judaism 1880 and 9 - coming to America and they're just rolling all over it leave right what happened it's another story what happened everyone has their theories what happened but that's that happened go take the two pictures and put it next to each other and I can tell you names but why should I write but you go back all the sages or free people and then everyone said this I heard it from that I'm better for Brendan and now I can substantiate because I still do history and research you see you see push it and the same as in our lives that who we are is good his MS is le cose before my death oh so when we learn here in the mind man ain't in the second slit eylem it's my hi him say someone might say well I'm not mine crying you know where I come from I come from such trouble family such mishegoss you know on and on and on and on and I can trace I remember I had a conversation with someone else who was the diabetic and and he said well you know I traced this to the alcoholism in my family now could be that that notion of alcoholism didn't shows and Hillier probably can give us some more data on this shows that there were issues I understand I'm not I'm not denying that but that's so the alcoholism is is is an adjunct to the Emma stand the summer that the sum of a ye dispute that the summers my environment so every one of us has to know this with with 100% and everything else though they are older mishegoss that came along is only at added on a junk Lucinda headaches were cigars and it's a problem and it has to be dealt with I'm not I'm not under estimating the abuse and all the issues those are real issues and you know when something gets very stuck it becomes hard and infested and and and and it's so hard to crafts away to rub off so it's you know the mishegoss less a long time so see this says Mooser says you know deal with the nitty-gritty negativity that's the approach of muslim see this about something says here with the positive and when you inspire yourself with more and more light that itself will make you more sensitive to do chuhwa