Find True Meaning in Your Life - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin

page 361 take these please please turn off your neutral mics so we're on page 361 the minor is a halogen bahagia positive the hilum that was said in conjunction with the suicide uh the the Suder and following you'd based on was in 1940 giving the thanks to a shine for sparing the life of the pivot ever and in this minor he says that a pika cities of the Kabbalah hi it says Azam brush how Russian bhai governor Mel says I will praise a sham with my life and I will sing for sham with ID might my might and it says that I I refers to the neshamah and ninety refers to the book and why is the goof called why is the party called ID because lady means also has the meaning by something else some other thing implying it's not the e car it's not the main thing it's only ancillary it's tough hill so if you're compared to the sold in the Sherman to the goof the fisherman's he cleared the goofy stuff him and then that other questions why does lover them LF not not if if if this is the interpretation then why does it say haha lower hashem you came up KY is the name of god of you cave of k associated with higher and as i'm analytic ibid and why the name of Oh Kim associated with the book that's what he was a quest me and to answer that he brings a concept the Kabbalah known as Titus and Calum the lights and the vessels the energies and the receptacle for the energies and he says that the name youth cave of K is the source for the energies and the name of Elohim is the so for the vessels so that's in capitalistic terms and then he turns it over to I've either how that have the supplies in service of a salmon daily life and he begins by explaining that there's two activities to to avoid this one is called avoid this a goof and once called avoid this other Shama and yesterday we learned about avoid this ago now a person needs to should meditate them and reflect on the way he relates to a shammy and who is he really in his in his real deep core essence and and realizing that he's distant from her sherman that - Gnaeus - penis is more important to him than roughness and the proof is that he has whom he is he has corporeality and when he will become frustrated with his own situation and shed tears to the to to a know the whom dias and we find the gosh miss this is the avoid our cold avoidance a goof this is what we learnt yesterday and now I'll go into the minor it's it's four of five lines from the bottom the two last words were hardly the same it's odd the evaders and it's a dandy sharma now he turns to the second activity known as the evader from the perspective of the neshamah what is this whoever know the so delicous this is to comprehend godly ideas to really delve into godly thoughts over his later dose and to cause an arousal of other of for us in the union or for Hashem a true arousal of a feeling of love or or of fear requires a deep understanding it's not it's not enough just to say I love God and fear God you could say from today to tomorrow and it's not the case you could convince yourself and think it is but unless you have an understanding if you say I love God you have to know what God is to love it and if you say you fear us and you need to know what I've said mister feeling so the first thing is okay well let's hope let's hope it's talking about a sham and not the woman or a man right but anyway anyway but the truth is the truth is to love a person you have to know that you know yeah you know not in an appropriate context of if you don't really know person being a spouse Peter sitter being a child you know and and and you probably know and those of you still have young children will probably go as they become older teenagers sometimes your teenager turns to you he says you don't really know me you think you know me and they give you that argument you don't really know me and as they get older and they have their own set of their ideas and their agenda and their way of thinking and if it's different than your way they tell you very clearly you don't really know me and you know sometimes it's true I dare your child and they're raised in your home that was then what about the last 10 years they've been out in the army or they've been out in college or they've been out in yeshiva and and and I am I am and it's not a bad thing it's not a bad thing I mean remember when I was in Geneva 18 19 20 years old I had this feeling in a way not in a bad way but what I was experiencing in my life is even my thoughts you know as much as I shared with my parents or my father but it was limited I was away in yeshiva so the way you're away you seva four five six years from eighteen seventeen eighteen to twenty-two twenty-three that's five six years of your life and maybe you could say the most important time of your life will you formulate your ideas for life and and that's at that time when you're not around your parents so you parents really know you know they knew you they knew you and this is something that we have to be sensitive to and again it can be painful but a smart parent and good parenting is such that you know you listen to the new song you listen to the new daughter hello I see that you want to say something hello okay okay anyway so I don't know who's making noise that's very bad noise can everyone mute themselves please so let's continue in the - so what I'm saying is that ever says here look what he says the avoid of masada neshama who have Vernor by a sufficiently coos I can't emphasize enough how vulnerable substance Atticus means deep delving into understanding godliness when you want to understand the cases when you want to understand a piece of her locker you can't just read it and say I know it it's not true you don't know it maybe you can repeat like a parakeet but you really don't understand it because the proof is when someone will come along who knows it better than you and question and challenge you you you you won't have what they answer so Havanna understanding requires her saga comprehension thought and all that so that ever says when you come to a have earner of understanding godliness then you will have a true arousal and feeling of loving a sham or and fearing a ship the Isla Barbados is ohi's and when that takes place you ascend in your activity methodically dagger from level to level be evilly I said evilly you climb the ladder and alia you become more and more connected akibo the McGregor hello sir Elena until you come to the highest level and what's that chair massage same in Ola kou shibasaki very very profound and particular words until you become xm1 with the godliness in Ilocos the godliness shed their house up what is he saying he Yakko he could have said some Assad Sam M Horlick loose you study and you understand so much until you become one with the darkness it doesn't say that it says until you become more than with the godliness it was in the idea number to my question why does it say within the godliness your studying the concept of godliness and you become one with the tensor cuz you know section assad same ambassador but he doesn't say that either he says two things Shamus odd Sam M Horlick who's shabby huh saga what's going on over here and this is the idea and this is also very important this gives us an insight to the difference between Habad meditation and other systems of meditation within the Jewish world within the Hasidic world etc I'm not talking about other types of meditations which are outside the Jewish realm which interestingly enough this Friday a student follower of her flow Makarova called me that he has a transcript of a 1973 talk slo-mo gave at the swatch of changhie I can't even pronounce it swatch a charlie retreat to June 22nd in 1973 in upstate New York where they had four or five hundred students and kids you know kids meaning today you know high school those kids youngster mostly young people and they were doing a silent meditation using TM and there was quite a few Jewish a lot of Jewish people there of course and one of them approached then asked who knew and asked if he could come and and give them a talk and the way it worked is when the stand they had guest speakers the Jeff speakers were allowed to talk they were brought to talk but they're all the participants have to sit quiet and they couldn't talk attend a retreat so someone's sending me the 8 page transcript that they made that they made they transcribed everyone's talk what slow most said actually sent it to me already so but we're not talking about those Transcendental Meditation TM if it's done in the secure forum is a very deserter because it uses a mantra that's a very deserted anyway that's another discussion and that's why the read by 1979 actually you'd be Thomas yep in a week or so up coming in a week I heard the Sikh house in Kansas City as a counselor in a camp Conyers Road I remember listening to the talk the Rebbe gave and he spoke about taking the healthy part of Transcendental Meditation for those that need it and he said he said he wants the professionals rabbi Twersky dr. torski dr. Landis of Palo Alto and others in that field and today we would probably include Hilo's a twin and and to take that really and it's not to lady low because they didn't really do it I interviewed the rabbi Twersky maybe well in my book conversations with the Rebbe and you could see the transcription of our conversation and I and he told me that he had letters but he said that he didn't do anything about it because he's overwhelmed with work and between me and you he's not alibi but requested that he has to follow the rebels words yet he had tremendous respect for the river but he was a harness title customer so to drop everything and good at the rest of him he wasn't at that point and and he and he told me that he hopes one day to do it then it was still waiting for that one day but so he well if you want to pick up on that the Red Bull would give you a big Yasser clear I promise you anyway anyway so what's this idea of Massage sang in her le coup Shabazz over there is how southern motion there is understanding I want to understand what I'm learning I want to really understand what this means and your question in and out and back and forth you think about NOLA that's called a sucker is that the purpose of meditation of jewish meditation in the Saban ethos that is not the purpose of the meditation the purpose of the meditation is to experience the godliness that is behind the meditation or the goddness was in the meditation so a pure and a good Chabad meditation is that you understand that so well that you kind of leave the realm of understanding and you're overtaken by something outside of the understanding ieave the godliness within that concept and that inspires you now and why is this important because if the end all of the meditation is just the understanding understanding as great as it is and as important as it is has a limitation and not only does it have a limitation but it has it has a place where it's good a place where it's neutral and a place where it's no good and we've seen this throughout the generations particularly during the Enlightenment movement to have skull a movement where the entire movement was built around Haskalah what sauce color have under understanding and it came to a conclusion that I told you one of the less urine was my wife's grandfather who was had friends they were all Communists and they gave him the books to read that he said it makes a lot of sense but why must I drop God from the equation they dropped us and from the equation so here you see Jewish kids bright minds in the 1910s and 20s who were who were studying and and educated and smart and they were from and then they dropped there from kite because their conclusion would say hell alone is you don't need a you don't need a God hospice early Hasidic teaches us that that's not the ultimate say of up-sale that's not the ultimate of meditation the ultimate is that you're inspired by what lies behind the meditation by the one who instructs you to meditate and that comes only when you meditate when you reflect so it's a catch-22 situation on one hand you have to meditate you have to think you have to understand at the very same time you have to let go of that on standing and and and kind of allow yourself to be taken into God's world meditation and reflection is our world Ellie coos godliness is God's world when you have godliness as the result of a meditation the abbe meditation is elevated to a place of godliness and then you will not conclude - I want to dump God no it's impossible because you're now in God's domain we're happy as before you were only in the intellectual domain or better said in your own domain and that is why that ever adds near the words semi satsang in Holly coos Shep aha subject and that's why it calls it Hillel yoni and everyone else abortion what does he say he says you're elevated a key ball and Malaika oh sure Alyona until you come to the highest level why does it call this yo sir Alyona yoni because understanding something is good being fat from my religious is great but each doesn't yet come to the ultimate which is experiencing god from satan that's a very that's in and that according to the algorithms about considers is the highest form of worship of God or the highest form of meditation why because here you're combining say hold you're taking something so cold like say ho and you're transforming it to godliness now what does this mean what does this mean practically it means that your your you know your your in the osmosis of God and you know that sensation at times we have I'm walking I'm not walking on the ground I'm walking in the air like something takes over and you just go along and it feels right that's it what is what I don't hear you what turn off distinctly please so that's the chat that's the shot in the words at Cibola my lady her you sir l you done took you come to the highest level service on same mla Koshiba so go they say that her avoid the who said she'll assertively is bit Telugu okay so now we have two things avoid this a goof and I vote decided Sharma what is the order the order is first my friend you gotta be a vital you goof if you got a coarse body and you're like an animal all of this godly stuff of meditation ain't gonna work you have to I don't want to use a Buddhist word but they use the word you know empty out well have do you have to empty yourself citizen citizens for a song see this talks about you have to make is a break a clay vacant this whole concept of see this clay vacant an empty vessel mullet you could fill up clay Marley a foot one second healer a full vessel anything more you can't fill it up yes see this mill where it's up to Tonya where he talks about that once they they talked about the war between the nefesh allocate case in the nefesh Obamas and he says that once an official apiece kind of establishes rulership then it seeks to to develop rulership I'll call either behavior on every limb of the body to create a kind of unity between the beneficent and the body so hurry that's what he means by futur go yes yes okay yes but in this context not bug but in this context he's referring to back to what he calls avoid this a goof which is what he said earlier so let's get to his question let's get those questions so you're right in what you're saying let's see how it applies here so he says the say that I've avoided kill each other please before goof the first thing has to be the beetle the annulment of the goof of the physical Kapoor EW once the annika and only afterwards will there be his goggle so ever will be revelation of love for God be true okay then and he doesn't explain much about this cuz he if he assumes we understand that what we've been saying all along you want to really you want to feel God you you know get rid of you your gubrious you can't have you're hungry can I get cake and eat it too it doesn't work it just doesn't work and it never has it doesn't and it never will so if you want to have his godless alpha you want godly love to inspire you yes Moshe the Vatican says your favor can you give us a I'm certain as to this he was a practical example difference between gosh miss Maria site I know we spoke about this all but at the end of last yes to here - okay the example that I like giving you like let's try another example yes yes they are used enough yes did I used another example exercising I gave the example you remember the example that's someone exercises so there is exercising mr. ma literally if you want to be healthy you know you need your blood pressure to go down and you need to stay thinner and everything else and it's healthy vehicle you know cardiovascular system so you and then there is you know indulgent indulging your neck sir sizing where it takes it takes it takes you over and and and and you do for targeting and middle of diving after babbling and and you're crazed about it so the craze about any type of gosh Mears is the indulgence part is the hungriest part so the first example I gave last week was about the gravy on top of the steak you can eat a steak without gravy why must you have gravy because he wanted to be W schmuck not only is enough gosh nice but you need to be vet or or the or or the the Thanksgiving that in the turkey with the with the with the what's the culture the the cranberry sauce why here the cranberries why do you bury source if oh it's disgusting oh now you're not just eating a piece of Turkey with shame for the Thanksgiving you're reading the turkey because you're salvaging in the taste the salvaging the taste is the familias the salvaging of the exercise to the point where it overtakes you and and and leaves your life is who marius and and the cumbias means the coarseness and grub tight in the sense where you take what's neutral and gosh me and you make of it you make of it an e car you make of it the the primary mode of your life line and existence and that and that is called cumbias - yes is the physical world and all of its things and you see Oh miss yes we'll come we in the suit came in Taniya let's give you one paucity I think you shall you you Shia even the characters are Kenda the stone from the wall will shout what will what will it's out motion what will the child it will shout I I see that you're stepping on me you're walking on me on the pebbles and stones in the old city going to the coastal you're stepping on me what right did you have to step on me why are you better than me even the kid is a kenda said and what's the answer the answer is that if I learn and think tell you or help a yield while I'm walking down I'll have godly holy thoughts as I walked down the steps the stone says please step on me why cuz I'm about God God created me and God put me in this place on the on the floor to help people work so just as Hashem intended for me the stone to be an asset to his plan so you human being stepping on me be the same thing and if not you have no right stepping on me and then inhale a million remember it says about this passaic the stone set screams boola-boola means you bore sense to the person bulla you bore what right do you have to step on me so the stone is aghast me but when we don't utilize the stone properly then we're making of the stone just just something to make us more comfortable and Kaaba and casitas Chabad and in the Mooser swaram they talk about this in their own with their own verbage and Ichabod we used the word whom the you no matter you know so those are examples and and I think you could find more examples in your life you know I don't want to go into more examples but you can find many more examples that is doing a mitzvah using gosh myths and then there is even even doing a mitzvah when you doing this and you use gah series and we're taught by the Baal Shem Tov the whole purpose is to use the gosh yes yes ask yourself a question am i using the gosh miss because the smug or I'm using the gossip is because I also like it now you want to indulge in it that aspect of indulging in it that indulgent aspect is the cumbias and that we need to remove let's go back to the minor in Cain so his question is how the Layla may Meyer he should have said next page 362 a salmon allylic ibid Tila lover that metal should express themself at first I think to a share with all my might with my body which is their Vedas how both the avocado and only afterwards our loss and bhai appraiser said with my life which is the service of the soul of the summer or name a mountain firefighter the summer while is he preface the evader of the soul yummy the ID to the word I to the idea of idea of register goof that's his question according to the interpretation Brockton considers the previous never asks a very very strong question that blood that metal should have first said I sink to a sham with my gloss and only after I succeed in that service in that Aveda do I also serve a sham of my new summer because you have to begin with refining your goof I point out to you that this is a very similar concept to what says in moosers sorry but the language in class it is the flower not just but local cities is a a non-muslim language it's more of a national language but the concept really here is is the same in other words what does musser say - I'm a rabbi say Tove refrain from bed and do good and but Musa spends a lot of time on talking about the rather bed that one brings on themselves when the indulging in in in in the bed and Musa you know emphasizes the punishments for that and and and all of that you know we're asked us it is the Baal Shem Tov's mahalik is to shine the light to shine the light but the signing of the light this is a mistake people make the shining a light is is is is meant to get rid of the bed so it's not like oh I said them you know they don't care about loshon Hara they don't care about about you know our various you know all they care about is just doing good you know and this is a mistake this is not true it's not at all what the perceptive had a mind about shank of had a mind basic you describe okay let's go on I mean you know the idea is that pay this our Kosovo the meaning in this verse in chapter 146 and Dylan said takasaka for know who our lord senba Thalia the reason why only governor Miller starts with I will praise God with my soul with my life is because that's the ultimate place that one one should be all the hog healers and to reach this while your day it's through I Simon another coyote I will sing to God with all my might so in other words yoni mm Ella wants to make it clear this is the objective the fact that we have to remove the ugly part from our character and being and the who Mia's a hundred percent that's not the objective don't get stuck there don't get stuck there that the ultimate is to experience the godliness the other and the continuing the he made a hollow US embassy ie Azam relic ibid came snare finally avoid on their two modes of service avoid the discussion this is known as the service of it coffee of subjugation and number two viola this hopko and the service known as is the top colleges transformation and its way stars Arabic ibid I will sing to assemble of my mind here are later discover this is the avoid of subjugation he loves how the couple of soil accepting what Hashem wants accepting the yoke the avatars and afterwards he knew how to kill now sativum when you practice enough control it becomes that the practice the hair girl becomes that your nature this places are goof to subjugate your body slow your name I play look at the next word Moshe whom to use right it doesn't say to practice this and to train your body to subjugate that you shouldn't be drawn after - pious does it say that because gosh miss is a what is why is it is wanted it's the home race that we have a problem with well the holder young in my gosh Samia and therefore all matters of gosh me is here I can feed myself overflow yeah while do we have a long a long way to go we should only have what's necessary why must you have soda with color why can't you drink seltzer why can't you drink water why the answer is it tastes better that's the truth am I wrong unless someone can prove the doctor told it that you must have ginger ale when when when you have an upset you know when you have a certain feeling and you're not well certain times in the ginger ale then it's wanted what but otherwise why do you want coca-cola Pepsi trees Diet Coke cherry coke Apple Coke or whatever and the same matter was vodka yeah someone's doesn't hire you know he needs to have cherry laconic stuff level Makai why because he wants the added flavor they added flavors the homebodies mother clay what's necessary this is the endless well I mean you know I couldn't talk to myself we're very far from this but in yeshiva when we were in yeshiva this was something that we worked on in the package I think I told you I'm not bragging I'm not saying this just to show up you know when I was in UC were 18 19 20 years old I didn't taste potato chips I do taste chocolate doesn't taste ice cream because those things were things that I really wanted but they were the homeless so I had a I fought with myself sometimes succeeding sometimes not not so there is this idea of scoff here to subjugate and hold yourself back and only use what is necessary for existence because it's like a cheaper know no no no that's because I think in Russia that's what they had look they didn't have that that's bad in the in Russian and classy them by the way since you mentioned that just say one short thing don't think that the Bible just sitting Dhoni wants to say look higher there's an account from a hustler from a Hassan opinio Goldstein who lived in the mid eighteen hundreds going into the 1900s and he can't affect the thick line is buried over there and he identified with Lubavitch acidnam say tells over the story that one I think one young tips reso pays off he on his travels he stopped and Tolman he stopped in somewhere where they were tone the Hasidim and he said they were drinking so much that the guy went over to the almond in the morning after being up all night and he was sicker and he wanted to up say one third of the viciously Amin so Pena goldish thing told them you're not allowed to you're sicker and he said I'll break your bones I'll beat you up get away from me so so he told so pigmy a big accepted you're gonna beat me up I'm going to the tone that had been telling them right now what you're doing anymore and he went away from the omelet so Arkham City is left the depressions on me cuz you know growing up I thought oh they'll buy but you see them because of all of the pressures and everything else if i bringing they were saying what i am a lot of the time and all that you know was a thing in russian russell see them before the war wasn't just about that she was clear Carlina stone kalenna kasi then thomas eden the chernobly dynasty they did they blew 22nd higher and because vodka was a drink of NL and also you know the difficulties they they sometimes needed it just to survive the first drop of rum my yard risen was running for his life in the 1920s and 30s fighting for the previous Leblon the underground and there were times that he said that he'd have to take a lot of vodka to to be able to do the mission you imagine going into the enemy enemy territory yes hello this is going to make the point that reason why many of the drinks in Europe in Europe were alcoholic because many water sources for many areas were polluted very so it became it became a big necessary thank you I've never heard of that that's that's the first time and then that's a historical fact what you're saying yes yeah here you only hear the helo segment very interesting yeah yeah it's like you know yeah ok let's continue see though amongst opposite him like but like no no but I you know again the Polish thing that lets you see them I don't think we're drinking I mean it was a I don't know to me I don't know if he knows fact applies to all of Europe but in in Russia you know to became kind of the coca-cola became like a common drink you know so it was a Russian sedum thing you know Russian and listen to today I I don't think you know most I see them even even Russians even really you know say a lot salute I am you know the tongue of the chernobly I I mean true that you know blur for 20 years and they give a little grape juice when they give tickle you know and I say to that man they said we're not talking about drinking now talking about saying the high in for in the summer given in the real a higher but they just give great you they give grape juice and whatever a bit worse they would be very happy because he's very anti you alcohol and I understand where he's coming from but let's go back to the text by the ball there's no right oh yeah yeah yeah I I have a hunch and I can't prove it that Wyatt stayed with lebar and came into America and I just throw whatever post-war is because the Labov HFC them were leading an underground most of his left let's face it and and go babak's was there for a very long time till the the World War two so kind of Euston and some of these people came to America Texas row so the Russians I see the cracks are bad and in America so they still were like this Rev I've run my yahoo I knew I was much we have mine and you know I lived till ninety years old and he was someone who was leading mamas the the underground in Russia and he would always say if you don't allow yourself to be shifted in other words you're not really across it by you imagine and sometimes you would say have to say hi and to allow yourself to be chef because he has to do a mission he has to open at Alma Tory has to teach children yes to raise money and the enemy of Stalin are looking to kill him and right so he comes into Aris row in 1949 he comes to America in 1956 258 and he's still under that culture so that is why I believe that it continued in the baggage whereas it did not continue in the other circles so the tone the custom that you know blur they because really they were there wasn't there wasn't an active strong larger group of Tomac I see the mature noblesse I see them in Americans only let's say let's see talk about square right it was only the the square ever the first one who survived and he rebuilt and it started in the 60s and 70s so there was a long period where it you know and even breslav the Bressler you know pressed in Russia breslav had a a strong prominence and and and and group but they're too how many real breslav hassidim came to america came there to throw a few now it wasn't and it wasn't so organized god I mean this is a factum Chabad because they had in America a group of very active group in the 20s from twenty six and on who were doing already Shabbat activities in the achievers in crime Berlin interviewed us you know in the community and so they continue that tradition and they embrace those Russians that came over and by the way just for the record there was a hustle in Tel Aviv who was a very because it as I said his name was absolve emotion everyone knows it's how bad about it and he was a very very sharp closet remember foot the Fox considered him like his my spear although he wasn't a my spear in yeshiva but it was a Hasidic Jew and a fiery Jew and he could take a good drink he was from a city called Neville Neville in Russia in in there and crane Neville is a you know they were simple cut cuts of him butchers and there are Bane would say I'd rather have a simple butcher for Neville that are moskal than an intellect from Kremenchuk Kremenchuk were very big minds wealthy wealthy have see them those wealthy people and in big intellectuals so that our being said I'd rather have a nefler cut serve then have Clemmie Chuck here in Moscow that's the expression right so this Alma moisture was from Neville and he was also happy to be a big math skill he understood well see this and he was a city she in any when he was far brain he took quite a bit of Moscow and he opened his mouth and sometimes you couldn't sit there you couldn't sit with him because he lambasted you and he used language that we wouldn't hardly use and he was talking to his nephew Shabbos he was trying to slaughter his own efforts how bombers was like a Bahama and imagine it was this because it but for him he still felt he has a behavior in him he can turn to slow it's the ninth he came in 35 and he's from bringing and everyone respects him every wants to hear and everyone jump man asylum I said why we have a privilege of having him in Tel Aviv and he continues taking the Moscow and he continues opening his mouth and people are like someone in you have you wanted to come to listen to because he had praise of wisdom and you saw that this man is living with a with a higher reality at the same time if he feels that you're you know not a hundred percent or whatever he gives it into you he lets you have it it's a for Brendan if I bring it wasn't you know you're a great guy you're the best you know that's not today's therapy sorry you know you know it was about really it was about really getting under your skin really getting under your skin yes hello the answer by faceted yes but the previous revenue already said that the times have changed during his time and he would say and it's in hey Yong Yong you'll see it not your he says you have to for brain was out Nega without nails without spec so so it seems like that was the culture at a good Lubavitch if acidic for bringin you were coming and you had to be ready to take care at all I remember even in my days in morristown in the yeshiva you talking about a nineteen eighty seven eighty eighty one Thursday nights after learning till 1:00 2:00 in the morning we would go down under ground that was cool the tunnels that's where you had all the you know the piping and for the for the facility for the whole facility and and we have groups and in this group and and in this group in this group we we we we gave it we let each other have it you know we let each other have it and and frankly for me it was like the best thing because here I am you know a star student and I you know pompous you know not in my own work and we came Thursday night that if I bring in your friend let you have it's showing you that you're a piece of garbage why because take off someone take off here please take off your your-your-your thing I hear the moaning of the grass so like if I bring in that's when you've got a chance to humble yourself or at least to hear it but in our days you know it was still curtailed but but abs on the moisture who was an authentic Russian and who was born in the 1870s I think you know he came from a different planet and he didn't you know except the 1930s and 40s of various throw okay say constant for Brendon any land baths the casita you're not talking about lamb Bastille it Fox or started his own brothers and sisters he's talking about his own friends and if he felt that they're being forced this was a big issue of discuss tree he let them have it they wrote to the previous level they wrote to our author that ever and they said we can't anymore and sometimes it's vulgar you know again he had a certain way of speaking and that ever rode him I heard this from someone who father-in-law was a guy by by the previous Trevor in the 40s and he told me and he told them and he told me the story he wrote to the Devon that ever wrote it back you have to stop people are not a vessel to hear that type of herb Lincoln in the 1935 and on and forties and in Tel Aviv that's it it doesn't work anymore and you have to calm down and you know what and you know what wait hello and he did and this shows you what kind of real crusted it was because he preceded the previous rabbit you have to understand he was born before him and he came from a different period and nevertheless the Epis said he went cold turkey just like a smoker who somehow asada caretta or doctor tells him stop smoking it's dangerous and he drops the cigarettes the next day of the same day and that's it so is there in e'en as you asked Hillel about this in the Habad ethos of the answer is yes but today it has to be done in a very measured way I mean I'm gonna let you talk but I have friends we are friends and and and and sometimes I want to say something and I say I can't say it because it's I just know this person he's not able to hear it and all it will do is create create a barrier between us and it won't have any positive results so why say it you know yes you know you want to say something it seems to me like they're called encounter groups that were similar similar it sounds like in practice where you know where people would sort of tear each other down or attack each other's defenses and the they ended up really falling out of favor and being widely disparaged in psychology they're not and they're not practiced at alternators nether to my knowledge and occurs to me as well that in in the development of communism there was this fundamental idea of reeducation which sounds similar the similar kind of confrontation you know the you know how we're that people were sort of broken down to build them up it became the basis for for brainwashing in in communist societies that thought and the curse to me as you're saying this that this kind of a practice I can't think of an arena in which it's used today in either religious or secular context it really seems to be something that has kind of the world has moved away from at least our world the Western world absolutely yeah yeah and absolutely it's that absolutely and I think when you speak I was thinking even in let's say Slovakia the literacy yeshiva the old India in Slovakia in in Russia you know in little you know one of the tactics used there by by the the leader of Muslim Sri Finkel and was to in a way break down the student and make the students feel that he needs you so you would you would first distance him and for the purpose and bring him closer and it was and there was a an approach today you know this don't work and it's not used so you know but but nevertheless nevertheless when I remember in the 80s when a metal foot the first came to Los Angeles to raise funds together grab a right cheek for his for some institutions not just row so you know I would speak things before I became part of his family and and he said to me one time he said to me he said to me America's Bluff America's bluff and fake so I said at Mendel what do you mean like you know I mean he said it like I remember Shabbos like 2 o'clock and he just had finished diverting and I went over to him to say good Shabbos and and and he made it like as though he was meditating about this under a stylus you know and he said my Medicare he said it then it's broken Russian he giveth and he said then he said it not broken he said no medication in English he said the bluff is he said you tell someone to prove they tell you it's not your business and he said I can't stand that he said we were trained in Russia everything is our business one concert to another what are you kidding and and and actually he he spent a lot of time later when I married he claimed to be in 1988 in Marin County and he stayed in my house overnight he spent hours teaching them and teaching me this and scolding he was giving me listen he asked me what are you doing now for this program and I told them and then he said wait and then he he criticized that he said they'll do it this way you know because he felt I'm receptive and I was receptive so so and by the way his teacher was the sound the moisture I thought is much fear so he had this this element in him but but I'll never forget you know the bluff of America said is it's not your business so it is it is a fading art today I agree with you and that's it that's it you know my own I want to end with this because we have to go but my own recollection amel story in 1980 for when I came to Marin County July 84 that summer one of my Bala bottom who became about sugar had a had a kidthis I think for a child and I thought kids until someone there who made a pledge to the people who brought me to support the work and he was fronting he was playing around and they told me about it you know we can't get the funds from him and it's not right you know and and I'm the new the new get the new kid on the block and I and then I got to know him I could see that he was playing around so acta skittish like I'm coming youngster from Crown Heights I took a little Alliance I was a little tipsy and I let him have it have to kill this and I said why are you doing this to them you know you made a pledge you know if you don't have the funds say you don't have it but I got a live set with him and that's what I did i finishing it and it was taken in the right way but but you know later I heard from them you should have not done that it was too much and what I realized is that they're not a vessel at a facility for Brain Gain where sometimes he could throw a shoot someone not throwing your you wanna kill him you heard him just the idea like you're a jerk they're not a vessel for that they weren't at that time and I didn't assess them well or maybe cuz I was tipsy I didn't think about and I just was expressing the way I feel which is not the right way because you have to take into consideration who you're talking to on what you're doing out at what situation so you know and then and there's been a change I absolutely agree with you you know in Russia and even in my days in yeshiva if you got a shoe thrown at you by your teacher you were a happy camper that he cares so much about you that he throws a shoe at you that was the culture that we grew up in other words there's a relationship yeah and therefore he tells you off and it gives you Muslim and it gives you criticism because he loves you but that's changed that's changed and today it's a different situation okay happy that we'll have to consider tomorrow because we get out with the office we get sidetracked but it's important because when there's a good interior interactive discussion so it's important have a great day everyone psychism bye bye yes not inquired not entirely anyway shallow concepts comforted by Mike