Farbrengen Rosh Chodesh Iyar Hallandale FL #3- Sing 3 Nigunim at your Shabbos meals- RC Dalfin

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My father learned by a mashia named who this this gentleman is named after >> my father learned by for 1901. 1951 1950 to 1958 >> was a ye Russian it wasn't from Russia technically but >> what >> I know I said that and uh so I want to share something my father told me that he that he said once at his at his birthday you know happened to be and meant an all night fabin withim and would explain things and it was the heyday of in inro with the 50s and 60s when gave over what he was in in anyway >> who's castle he was the he he's a name after him he was the mashia in the yeshiv the main mashia and he He was for the mashia still in in Russia and he learned in the writ it's printed that mashia comes will be his the edge of his capot it's called will be holy that's what the says ABOUT THAT MASHIACH WILL COME that's a tremendous accolade that the Reb gave him. >> People grab onto your corners. You ever heard the expression that they try to grab on >> grab onto YOUR CORNERS AND EVEN HIS LITTLE CORNER is is just a touch cuz it's it's it's soaked with Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Anyway, so there's a fabang in here and it's 100 150 bakim in in the yeshiva in L and they're sitting a Thursday night like we're sitting and there's a fabangan and all of a sudden he turns to my father. He was probably 15 16 years old 1955 56 somewhere like that 57 whatever and the plow he was a very warm ye the difference they say between him and Nissenov was the main in France in Brunison was Anyway, so so um in front of all these bak and he was a w you know he would hold the baka like this many he was a very warm a warm person a warm mashia some mashim are more yoof you know, like you don't go you don't touch them, you don't go next to them. He he with his greatness, he was very warm. >> Yeah. Yeah. So he, you know, he says to my father, he calls him by his by his name with an like a loving, you know, loving endearing way. And he says, "It's your birthday this week, whatever." He says, "Let me tell you something. I have a question." He says, and he says to the front of, "What's the difference between a um a uh a cow a cow, a key. Call it a key, a cow and a um and a and a goat. It says, "What's the difference? >> One can jump >> and one can't jump a cow. Why? Why?" So he said probably after a lot of he wasn't a big drinker actually said the difference IS this guy has a big backside and this one to put it mildly and this GUY HAS A SMALL BACKSIDE. SO IF YOU HAVE A BIG BACKSIDE, YOU CAN'T MOVE your body like a cow. You can't jump. Well, YOU'RE A GOAT. YOU COULD JUMP ALL AROUND CUZ YOU'RE not heavy. And he said to my father, "If yus is about eating more and becoming more thick and big and you know and everything like that, then uh then it's no big celebration. It's no big celebration. But if you about is godliness and spirituality and then you could jump AROUND THAT YOU CAN accomplish >> that's the THAT'S SOMETHING LIKE THAT THAT MY FATHER told me. So it's not just by a birthday. It's about what is our paradigm you know I'm thinking you know Mashiach the I'm thinking about like what is the paradigm the paradigm has to be you have to come to a point that even if God blesses you with wealth and every Hashem should bless EVERYONE WITH A LOTS of wealth and Hashem has so much amen to give everyone but that should not be that should not limit you where your mind thinks YOU KNOW CAN I DO this you know that so the the gashmas shouldn't limit you there you know and we saw this I saw this by I saw this that you know staying up late and fabing or doing you know it's like is it normal to to go into the night if you have to get up the next day my father in the 70s fab the long fabangas in the ' 70s You know that means >> till 2:30 in the morning 2 3 in the morning and then it was another two hours. My father was a businessman working you know in in in the sweater industry. He has to go get up in the morning to run to the factory to put the cones on to start the machines for the workers. How can he be up to 2 three in the morning and he wants to bab him before he leaves >> so he didn't go to all the fabang right when we were kids growing up in lab shiva and we we used to nudge him we want to go to fabangan who's going to pick us up my mother a blessed memory who was who was raised in Costa Rica she was a survivor in Poland from the wars area she would come to krenites it was a war zone in kron heights in the slappish and brownsville there was terrible and dangerous So we could not, you know, how are we going to get home and my mother would come with the car at 2:30 in the morning to take us home so that we can stay at the >> and she wasn't my father was the one that learned to and with all and that right she came from a home but but in Costa Rica there was no Jewish school. So you know so what am I saying? What I'm saying is that when you what she got in her house and the little she got in her house, Rabbi Talvski, the the mushim used to come to Costa Rica, they used to go to Panama and Costa Rica and Mexico and Guatemala, whatever, wherever they were to put up pick up a few dollars for the yeshiva and whatever they right when they they would only eat in their home. So when you're raised in a way that a mushul comes into your house and and and you and you feed him because you know this is the only place you can get a kosher meal that leaves an impression on a child even a child who doesn't have a Jewish education because there isn't any Jewish education. So everything is homegrown and that's that's the thing to instill in our children the the the the the good oldfashioned yiddishkite that our ancestors from Europe from Meditro brought to the table and this is not a lost art if you make it a priority if you don't make for example everyone here who has children should sing at least three every shabas at each meal How can you go through a shabas without singing? Not saying you have to be old, you know, basic nigounim. The children should hear nigun. Three nigun that time and I and with my house it sometimes it's a battle and I said we're not starting to eat till we sing nigunim. >> You have a choice. You can sing it later but then you have to stay at the table. You want to go to the table? No problem. We're going to sing before. We're not making kids till then. And too bad. That's the way it is. >> A parent has to be strong in their beliefs and of course not to make World War II and not embarrass up. But you're a parent. You're not a schmata. And and and my my kids to say I'm your friend. No, you're not my friend. I'm your father. You're not my friend. >> A father and a mother is a father and a mother. I'm not >> with less trauma growing up. One father as a friend or father as a >> I I IT DOES >> MY FATHER WAS VERY TOUGH AND AND I DON'T THINK I have trauma from that. I don't not from that maybe from other things but I'm saying he was very tough. He's a European and he was >> we don't know how to be tough. We know how to be friends. We don't. >> Well, that's not But I take I'm not not this not a parenting course, but but I'm saying you KNOW WHAT WHO ARE YOU? I mean, are are you a father and a mother or are you not a father and a mother? OTHERWISE, THEY MAKE SCHMATAS OUT OF YOU. MY DAUGHTER WOULD COME down mabas going out and and putting on the the the jeans or whatever. But mabas mabas. Okay. You don't want to wear shabas clothes. Let's find something in between. Shabas close and week they close. And that's the compromise we came to. >> And guess what? It worked. It worked. What I'm saying is just giving in and just selling out and just letting >> you know there has to be some discipline. There has to be and and they later realize you think I wanted to sing THE GOOD. MY FATHER WOULD MY FATHER LEARNING BY MAKAY SHABAS WOULD SING AN HOUR AT A TABLE. THIS WASN'T like 10 15 minutes. And if I LEFT THE TABLE, I GOT IT ON MY MY BACKSIDE. And my brothers, if we left, by him, there's no monkey business. Shabas is this day of rest. All week he's running around like sugar and they're working. Shabas, he sings the heard in yeshiva and he wants us to sing with him. Okay, that was a very very strong disciplinary way. I'm not, you know, I'm not suggesting that, you know, just to to do whatever you want and run everywhere if you want and go here, go there. This is but this is this not this not the way it causes chaos. You have to have some sat. You have to have give discipline and nigim is a very healthy way because it goes in even if later they do whatever they need to do whatever they do. A niggan is so powerful that it'll bring back a person to cha and to connect and want to sit and hear. So my suggestion something has to come out the p from not just po is try to sing three pearl suda you CAN'T DO THREE DO ONE BUT two Hey yay yeah. Hey yay. Yeah. Hallelujah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hallelujah. Hey, I higher than yeah. Hallelujah. I am I La. >> Okay. Someone else will say I've done my part.